Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.
I spend the first two days and nights exploring the area around me and hunting as much as possible, leaving my bags in the safety of a large pine tree. On the morning of the third day, I stumble across a small cave in the side of a cliff and wonder how I never noticed it in the last few days. It would be invisible to human eyes, if one were to venture out here, and apparently to vampires unless they were looking for it. It was also up high enough humans couldn't wander into it.
I place my bags under a tree and jump into the cave. I was right, it was small. Experimentally, I run a hand along one wall, watching as bits of rock and dust fell to the cave floor. I do it again and again, watching for any sign of a cave-in. Satisfied with the results, I set out to widen the inside of the cave, deciding to leave the entryway narrow. Once the area is the size I want- it's still small, I need to crouch to move around and it is only as wide as I am long- I jump out and grab my bags, setting them in the far corner of the cave.
Over the next week, I practice controlling my strength by picking up rocks before moving to more… breakable things. Rocks would crumble almost immediately at my touch and I was quick to frustration.
It takes four days before I can pluck a leaf off a branch without pulverizing the young greenery. I spend the rest of the day picking wildflowers, successfully gathering a small handful by the evening before deciding to head back to my cave.
It was a beautiful day today, one of the first truly warm days- not that temperature bothered me anymore. But, as the day draws to a close, the forest around me gives off a sweet smell of warm pine, flowers, and something sweet. It faintly reminds me of- stop. I shake my head to clear it, I can't think about him. I sigh before leaping the twenty feet to the mouth of the cave- and stopping cold at what was in the middle of the small area.
Black eyes stare up at me in surprise, the shadows under them so dark they looked painful. Scattered all around were my items, and in his hands was the shirt I wore yesterday. I drop the pitiful collection of flowers and they fall limply to the rock floor, their stems bruised to mush from the tight grasp I had on them seconds earlier. I blink several times in rapid succession; was I imagining him again, like I did when I was human?
"Am I the first vampire to go crazy?" I ask loudly, my rarely used musical voice bounces off the walls around me, and my vision shakes his head, dark eyes wide. He opens his mouth, but I quickly raise my hands to stop him. "No! don't say anything. This isn't happening, he isn't real."
My vision stands- well crouches- and takes a step towards me. I automatically back into a wall, my spine cracking the rock behind me, and slide down it. I begin muttering to myself. "This isn't happening, it's not real. This isn't real. He's not real. He's not real," tearless sobs break out of my chest and my vision stops mid-step, an agonized expression falling over his angelic face. He shoves his hands through his messy copper hair- only it isn't just copper, it's shades of red, blond, and brown. A distressed sound leaves his beautiful lips as he looks around the small space, probably trying to figure out what to do. My human mind was never this imaginative, his smell, the way he looks- it's as if I was really seeing him with my new eyes. The scent of honey and lilac with a hint of pine and something warm that smells better than sunshine grows stronger the more he moves around, and I can't help but inhale the scent deeply, finding it equally calming and panic inducing.
"Stop moving, please," I beg softly, and he pauses his movements, panic-stricken eyes locking onto my own, neither of us daring to breathe.
I can't possibly be this imaginative, can I? I never was before I was changed, and I certainly haven't experienced this in my new life until now. "Are you really here?"
Slowly, he nods his head. "Why?" I demand.
"Alice called when she got a vision of you tackling a bear… I've been looking for you ever since," he whispers. He moves like he's about to step closer to me, but I shake my head and push further back into the rock, causing it to groan behind me.
"Why?" I ask again. "Why come back?"
He sighs, his cool breath fanning over my face. "I was already thinking about coming back, I wanted to see how you were doing. Alice calling me about her vision only solidified my choice. I'm sorry, I never wanted this to happen."
His last words burn a hole in my chest, and I gasp softly as the pain washes through me. My arms wrap tightly around my torso and I look out of the little cave opening, focusing on the darkening sky. "I know," I say, my voice cold, "you made that very clear the day you left. I haven't forgotten."
"Bella, you don't understand," he starts, but I am already shaking my head. "Listen, Love-"
"Don't call me that!" I shout, whipping my head around to glare at him. My eyes burn with venom and I hope he can't see that I want to cry. "You don't get to call me that, not after what you said, what you did. The way you left me... it was cruel."
He flinches at my words but persists with his own, his voice uneven and fragile. "And that will be something I will regret for the rest of my existence, but please, please, listen to me. I lied to you. It was the worst kind of blasphemy, but I couldn't see any other way to make you let me go." He resumes running his hands through his hair, his words flowing so fast I wouldn't have understood had I been human. "After what happened at your birthday, I knew I had to leave. You weren't safe with us- with me; you never were. You deserved a chance to live a normal human life, and the only way for that to happen was with me gone."
"What do you mean you lied?" I manage to drag out.
He looks at me with a mildly shocked expression, his eyes saddening as he answers. "That I didn't love you anymore," at my stunned silence he continues, "honestly, Bella, out of all the hundreds of times I told you I loved you, how could your faith be so easily broken in me? You didn't even fight it."
"Because it never made sense for you to love me, Edward," I breathe, his name hurting my dead heart as it fell from my lips. "I was some plain, boring girl with a defective brain; I knew from the start it was only a matter of time before you decided that as well."
"How I've failed you," he whispers brokenly. "Can you ever forgive me?"
I reach up to rub at my eyes roughly, wishing I could somehow fall asleep and wake up the next morning and realize everything- from the moment Edward left me in the forest to now- was a nightmare. My eyes move from the cloud I was studying back to him, taking in his pitch-black eyes, the deep purple bruising under them. How long has it been since he's hunted?
"I don't even know if I can trust you," I say softly.
Edward's face contorts before he buries it in his shaking hands. I feel my heart break in half as we sit mere feet apart, our uneven breathing being the only noise. We take turns inhaling deeply, and I wonder if he finds my scent as confusingly soothing as I find his.
A/N: Well, this did not go the way I thought it was going to, nor did this chapter end with what I had in mind. Hope you all are enjoying this fic, I certainly am enjoying writing again! I love reading your comments, they inspire me to write more.