Walk with me?
The words fill me with anxiety and dread as a fuzzy human memory floods my mind. Edward had spoken similar words the day he left Forks.
His golden eyes weren't troubled as he held a hand out for me. I compare the Edward that stands before me with the one in my memory; he looks happy now, his golden eyes shining with love, whereas the Edward in my mind had avoided my gaze, his dark eyes empty and distant as he stared at my shoes, or my shoulder. I swallow my fear, letting his fingers lace with mine as he leads me out of the empty house and into the woods, in the opposite direction his family had darted off in to go hunting.
He stops by a creek, the noise of water flowing by sounding much like the static I was hearing in my mind.
He's not leaving. He promised. I trust him.
But this was too similar to what had happened before. He had left me. It was in a misguided effort to protect me, to protect my mortality, but still, he left me.
He's not leaving. He's not leaving. He's not leaving.
The mantra sounded eerily similar to the one I repeated the first time I found him in my cave. He's not real. He's not real. He's not real.
I could feel myself slipping, and I held my breath, waiting for his words.
He wouldn't leave me.
"My family can't stay in Forks."
Oh.
Edward continues, his voice slightly anxious, but oblivious to my inner turmoil. "They can't be seen. By anyone. They are restricted to the house and the surrounding land. As am I."
"Oh."
They're leaving.
The thought sends pain spearing through my silent heart with such voracity that my arms lock around myself and I gasp for breath that I don't need. My eyes burn as venom fills my vision, taunting me with tears that I can't spill. I squeeze my eyes shut against the stinging, but it doesn't help.
He's leaving me.
Edward is still talking, but his voice fades, and I am unable to make out the words. Suddenly, my shoulders are grasped tightly- too tight- and I am being shaken.
"Bella! Bella, Love, shit!" Edward's voice is filled with panic, and my eyes fly open to find his face inches from mine. It's his hands on my shoulders, it's him shaking me. "I should have thought- Bella, I am so sorry. Please hear me out. I'm not leaving you."
Had I said that out loud? If the horrified, broken expression on Edward's face, I must have. His words filter slowly through my vampire brain. I grasp his wrists and he finally stops shaking me, realizing I've come out of my stupor. His arms- his whole body is quaking. "I am not leaving you, Bella, ever." His voice breaks, he'd be crying if he were able.
"When you said to walk with you…" I trail off, still slightly in a daze.
He hands his head in shame. "I am so, unbelievably sorry. I didn't think… I didn't realize just how similar this would feel for you. I should have known, and I am so sorry."
He was leaving, but he wasn't leaving me.
I nod, murmuring it was going to be okay- it was something that calmed us both. "Where are you… where are we going?"
"Well, everyone else was in Rochester before Alice got that vision of you tackling that bear, but they left so suddenly, with such short notice that they can't go back," Edward explains, tucking me in against his chest, one hand cradled the back of my head, the other fisted in my shirt on my lower back, pressing me tightly to his body. His nose presses into my hair, breathing me in. "I was thinking we would go to the outskirts of Chicago. Esme found a remote house on a decent amount of land. Carlisle could get into the hospital there fairly easily."
"You were born in Chicago, right?" I ask, a small smile playing on my lips when he nods. "When do we leave?"
The Cullens were ready now, apparently. Edward raced us to the cave, gathering what small treasures we had left behind and placing them in a small bag. A flower from the meadow he had picked for me, a shiny topaz pebble that matched his eyes I had plucked out of a stream for him, a few changes of clothes for each of us, and a flat piece of driftwood that had our initials carved into it with Edward's elegant script.
Before we leave the cave, I wrap my arms around his middle. "I'm sorry I freaked out earlier," I murmur. I want you to know that I trust you- I really do. That memory just hit me and I kinda lost it."
Edward sets the bag down before holding me tightly. "I should have realized as soon as I asked you to walk with me that I was practically recreating that moment for you all over again, I'm sorry."
I reach up on my toes and press my lips to his, pouring all of myself into the kiss. He needed the reassurance that I was okay, he was forgiven. Edward immediately opened his mouth to mine, letting our tongues brush against one another. It was rushed, and lacked any of the softness Edward usually favored. He walked me backwards, until I was pressed against a wall, pressing himself closer still. I purred as his hands traced my waist and my hips, nipping at his neck. With a gentle growl, Edward grabbed around my thighs, hoisting me up and pinning me against the rock wall. My legs wrapped around his waist, and I could feel him pressing into me much more intimately than he had ever allowed before. His hands slid from my thighs to the swell of my bottom, his fingers squeezing my flesh, and moving my hips deliciously against his. I release an embarrassingly loud moan at the friction he creates, and he hesitates, before doing it again, getting a similar reaction.
"Bella," he sighs, claiming my mouth once again. He repeats his movements, his fingers squeezing before pulling me into him, this time his hips rock up to mine at the same time, and it's his turn to be mildly embarrassed by his loud moan. The fourth time he does it, I smack the back of my head on the rock.
Edward backs up, taking me with him, and I expect him to set me on my feet. I don't want him to stop, so I fist my hands in his hair as I kiss him passionately. He surprises me, dropping to his knees before laying on his back with me astride his hips. His hands wrap tightly around my waist, and he presses me down as he thrusts up, I arch my back as he hits a spot that feels so, so good.
And he doesn't stop. His fingers drift up my sides to rest under my breasts, and, and at my husky Edward, please, he cups me, and the feeling of his hands on me, as well as him pressing up into me, is too much for my body to handle. I shudder and spasm, my back arching as my world falls apart. My name falls from Edward's lips like a prayer as his thrusts become erratic, before he stiffens, his eyes screwing shut as he holds me to him. I press my mouth to his neck as his hands claw at my back, tearing my shirt.
We lay still as we catch our breaths. "Are you okay?" he asks after his breathing returns to normal.
I hum, nodding my head from where it lies on his chest. Then, what had just happened runs through my mind, and I lift my head to look at him. "Are you okay? I know you said you wanted to wait, I'm sorry."
He kisses me, soft and slow, before pulling back to smile at me, tucking some hair behind my ear. "I'm more than okay, Love. And I do want to wait to make love to you, I want it to be special… I don't really think this counts."
"So… is this something you'd be okay doing again?" I ask hesitantly. He wanted to wait to really make love, and I would respect that. "It will probably be a few years before I am able to be around humans, so I know it will be a while before we can get married," I trail off, watching as Edward's eyes widen.
"You'd marry me?" he wonders softly. I nod, of course I would. "I never thought you would want to get married."
I shrug. "I never really wanted to, honestly. My parents got married, and look where they are now. It doesn't guarantee happiness, or a lengthy marriage, and I wouldn't want to experience that. But then I met you, and I know we'll be together forever, getting married won't change that."
Edward stares, stunned, holding me loosely in his arms. He shakes his head. "You think I wanted to wait for us to be married before we made love?"
I nod.
"Bella, as much as I would love to marry you, it will be at least two years, if not longer, before you're ready to fully submerge yourself in the human world, and I don't want to wait that long. I want it to be special, I want it to be romantic, you deserve nothing left." He releases a small chuckle, "and until then, I'd be okay- more than- to do this again."
After a few kisses, Edward suggests we change into new clothes, and as he moves away, I can smell him, and I notice a damp spot at the front of his pants. He seems mildly embarrassed as he hands me a spare set of clothing, and I suggest going to the creek nearby to clean up a little. He travels downstream, until I could no longer see him, though I could hear water splashing as he washed himself.
The quick was does nothing to hide what we've done, even though we had both fully submerged and scrubbed ourselves. Emmett hollered, pulling Edward into a headlock and rubbing at his hair, chanting little Eddie has a sex life! I avoided eye contact with everyone as Emmett explained he could smell us on one another.
"Well, I can smell Rose on you," Edward growls, shoving out from under his brother's arms. I heave a sigh as Edward wraps me in a hug, and I smile as I realize that Emmett does smell like Rose, and Alice smells like Jasper, and Esme smells like Carlisle.
Rosalie rolls her eyes, "can we just go now?" She crosses her arms and glares at her mate.
Bags and boxes are loaded in three different cars with vampire speed. No one takes much with them when they moved, and most of their stuff was still at the Rochester house. Jasper and Alice head off in her new Porsche for Rochester, where they will quickly pack all the necessities and ship them to the new address in Chicago. Emmett and Rosalie decide to go to the Chicago house with Carlisle and Esme, apparently, the house is in need of some repairs.
Edward holds open the door to his Volvo and I slip in, inhaling the unique scent. There is something else, though, and it makes my throat burn slightly. "What is that smell?" I ask as he settles into the driver's seat.
His nostrils flare as he breathes in, his eyes widening slightly. "It's your human scent," he murmurs. "I'm sorry, we can take a different car if it's bothering you."
I place my hand over his as he moves to get out. "No, don't. It burns just a little bit, but it's perfectly manageable." He nods, turns the ignition, and rips out of the driveway. "You know, this is the first human scent I've encountered. It's weird that it's me."
"Bella, it's no problem to switch cars. The smell is faint, but it must be painful for you right now," his hand squeezes mine over the console. "A scent this faint will usually still send a newborn into a frenzy."
I shake my head, "I promise, I'm okay. It burns, but not bad. Besides, I like this car."
The scent of other humans, however, proves to be a challenge. Edward tries to avoid driving through cities and towns, but it wasn't totally unavoidable. The first time we pass by a city, the scent of so many humans catch me off guard, my throat ripping apart with fire. I clasp tightly onto Edward's hand as he demands I hold my breath. I do as he says, my eyes focusing on him, the Volvo's engine screaming in protest as he pushes it as fast as it could go.
He pulls the car over on the side of the road about ten minutes later, and I'm still holding my breath, my free hand clamped over my nose and mouth, as Edward snatches me from the car, carrying me deep into the trees. "Okay, you can breathe now. There's a herd of deer to the left."
I inhale, smelling the deer, and my throat lights up again. Together, we take off after the herd, and I bring two down simultaneously. As I begin to feed, I hear Edward bringing down more deer. The first two are finished in seconds, and I growl in frustration until another tan hide is shoved under my face, and I feed without second thought. Edward hands over two more deer, and I feel sluggishly full as he sets another at my knees. "I'm so full," I complain, and Edward releases a breath as I bow my head and force myself to drain the carcass.
When I've finished, Edward buries the six bodies, takes my hand, and walks back to the car. "You did so well," he tells me as we speed down the road. "You were in control the entire time, I'm impressed."
I open my mouth to protest his words, but I shut it when I realize that I was in control the entire time. "I trusted you to keep me safe," I tell him honestly, watching his throat bob with his swallow.
We work out a system quickly after that. As we approached civilization, Edward would tell me to hold my breath, and I'd hold it until he said the air was safe again. When we had to drive through towns, he'd turn up the music so I wouldn't fixate on so many beating hearts. His hand would squeeze mine tightly, and he'd shower me with praise, stopping in far, remote areas to take me hunting when my eyes would darken. I'd never fed so much in one day before.
With the hunting trips, we fell far behind schedule, and arrived over a day after we were supposed to. Alice and Jasper had already arrived, and the new furniture had been delivered and organized to Esme's liking. Edward explained what had happened, and I was praised for my control all over again. Even Carlisle admitted his control wasn't near as strong as mine when he first started. "I would think you'll be ready to integrate with humans in the next five to eight months," he said.
Esme left her husband's side, offering us a quick tour of the house. It was smaller than what I was expecting, three bedrooms and an office for Carlisle. Esme labeled the rooms as we stuck our heads in. The master was her and Carlisle's, the one with the walk in closet was for Alice and Jasper, the third room was for Rosalie and Emmett. I kept waiting for her to lead us to a stairway I had missed before, showing us to our room, but she walked through the kitchen and out the sliding glass door into the expansive back yard. I looked up at Edward in confusion, but he was smiling, not at all concerned that we didn't have a space of our own in the house. Esme walks to the tree line, following a barely-there path, winding around ancient trees, hopping over a small, fast flowing creek.
And stopped in front of a small cabin.
"And this," Esme gestures to the structure, "is your space." She pulls a key from her back pocket, dropping it delicately in Edward's open palm. "You know you're always welcome back at the house, we just thought you would like the privacy."
I study the cabin some more. A large window in the living room revealed walls with new paint, cozy furniture laid out expertly. "It's perfect."