An Incomplete Potter Collection ch The Ashikabi Series Collection Chapter 2
XXX
Crossover: (Harry Potter) / (Sekirei)
XXX
Raised by and Ashikabi
Wagging Tail Ashikabi
XXX
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
XXX
XXX
Story: [Raised by an Ashikabi]
Summary: The Thunder Twins pick up a stray, and Seo accidentally becomes a dad. Much to the horror of a great many people.
Genre: Family, Humor?
XXX
"And?" Hikari asked as she adjusted Harry's shirt.
"And never grow up to be like dad." Harry dutifully finished.
Seo grumbled something about brats, but Hibiki stepped on his toes.
It was Harry's first day at his new school, and he wasn't entirely sure if he was dreading it or looking forward to it. He'd be able to meet kids his own age, but he hadn't ever really met a kid his own age that he liked – Dudley had always made sure of that.
Still, his moms were both insistent on him attending classes, learning stuff, and growing up to be nothing at all like his dad. A sentiment that had been echoed numerous times by aunt Miya, who always made sure to sniff him for cigarette-smoke in case his dad was proving a bad influence on his 'young and impressionable mind'.
Harry didn't entirely like aunt Miya, because even if she was only echoing what his moms were telling his dad all the time, she didn't actually make up for her criticism by liking the man. The twins loved their Ashikabi, even if they sometimes got annoyed enough at him to try electrocuting him for a bit. Miya didn't.
So, whilst Harry suffered the woman's ministrations stoically, he'd rather avoid the inn as much as possible. Not that that was particularly difficult, but still.
Harry glanced at his dad once more, and then at his moms, before sighing in defeat. He still thought it would've been cool to be driven to school on Seo's motorbike, instead of having to walk there, but the twins were insistent in keeping their Ashikabi out of it. Something about the motorbike pushing Harry into befriending 'people like Seo'.
Hikari smiled at him, warm and loving. "Don't worry, dear. They'll love you."
Despite his doubts on the matter, Harry nodded, taking a deep breath to brace himself.
One step amongst a great many yet to come towards becoming educated enough not to 'grow up like Seo'.
And if that wasn't actually that much of a motivation-... well, Harry's dad seemed happy enough with his lot in life, so it wasn't as if it'd be all that bad to grow up to be a bit like him. No matter what his moms were trying to condition him into believing.
XXX
They'd found him on the streets, and even if they hadn't been all that much better off themselves – having failed to pay the rent for the month – they couldn't just leave him there.
He didn't speak Japanese, he didn't trust much of anyone at all, and he had a scar like a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was almost as if someone had marked him for them to find him, and Seo had taken one look at his two Sekirei and instantly folded. It wasn't every day someone wearing what amounted to a leather bikini managed to appear parental, but apparently the kid struck a chord with them.
Five minutes into sharing what little food they had with the street-kid, and things kind of snowballed whilst he wasn't looking.
One moment Seo had shared their meager lunches with the prepubescent little kid who was down on his luck even worse than they were, and the next all four of them had been bundled up in blankets and trying to sleep.
Sure, he knew that the situation was mostly because the kid in question had more or less fallen asleep on top of them once he'd realized that they didn't plan on hurting him, but it had been a bit shocking to remember how quickly it had escalated.
Barely two hours into their first meeting, and Harry was adopted. Unofficially, true, but wholeheartedly adopted nonetheless.
They didn't manage to do it officially until MBI was no longer looming over their heads, Not until the Sekirei Plan kind of stuttered and disbanded in some really fancy fireworks. But, once that whole farce of a madman's schemes was finally over with, the process went rather smoothly – if not entirely without hiccups.
It'd actually been easier to convince the government that the three of them were decent guardians for a kid his age, than it had been to accustomize the kid to sleep properly in an actual bed. A series of awkward arguments which had resulted in Seo spending a few hours at the local gym, beating some sandbags to death with unusual ferocity.
It'd been nearly half-a-year of living together until the government finally figured out how to drag the 'foreign immigrant' into the school system properly, and thankfully Harry had by then become almost entirely fluent in the language.
Still with a really awkward accent, but at least he could make himself understood.
Understandably, Seo had secretly – even if his Sekirei were entirely too aware of it for it to technically count as such – taught the kid how to throw a decent punch.
A decision that proved itself to be a very sensible one, when Harry stumbled back home from school with a black eye and a wide grin.
Apparently, the other kid looked far worse.
XXX
So Kusano's hair had turned blue, Harry had been bitten, Musubi had accidentally cracked one of Minato's ribs, Matsu had thrown a hissy-fit over her electronics suddenly shorting-out, and Miya had released her demon-mask at everyone for being too chaotic.
All in all, a fairly average day at the Izumo Inn. Though Harry would admit that usually hair didn't spontaneously switch colors, which was what had caused this particular fight with Minato's youngest Sekirei.
Harry and Kusano didn't exactly get along. They could fake it – more or less – when they needed to, and it wasn't as if they hated each other or anything. Still, there was a certain degree of antipathy between them, and if they were forced to stay in the same room for too long, sooner or later a fight would almost always break out.
There was a reason that Harry was only rarely forced to deal with aunt Miya's casual disgust towards his dad. Even if the inn was usually where they ended up placing him when they needed a babysitter.
Harry didn't particularly mind being babysat, but that was mostly due to being uncomfortably aware of how thin the walls tended to be in their apartment. There was no doubt in his mind that his moms loved his dad, but he really could do without being reminded of that at two-in-the-goddamn-morning.
Now if he could just forget the birds-and-the-bees that Matsu had explained to him, then everything would be great. There'd been far too much horrifically graphic material involved in that Talk.
On that note, Harry was also no longer allowed to be alone with Matsu without proper adult supervision. Hell, even his dad was classified as 'proper' in that context, which really kind of showed how upset his moms had been at the glasses-wearing Sekirei's initiative on the matter.
Apparently, he wasn't supposed to hear the uncensored version of that Talk until he could handle it without locking himself in a room for three days and refusing to see anyone. Which had actually been exactly what he'd done.
Matsu was properly scolded in the aftermath, and spent most of a month sulking, whilst sleeping on the couch.
"Hm? Oi Harry, you've got mail." Homura tossed a letter in his direction.
Harry caught it, wincing slightly as the movement reminded him of exactly how sharp Kusano's teeth were, and the damage they could do to an unprotected arm.
Turning it over in his hand, he frowned at the address. "Why is it addressed to here? And what kind of name is Hogwash?"
Matsu peeked over his shoulder, being the generally nosy individual that she was. "I think it says 'Hogwarts', brat. But yeah, not arguing the point."
XXX
XXX
Story: [Wagging Tail Ashikabi]
Summary: There's wag-tails and then there's wagging tails. And if Kazehana was any less drunk, she'd be very very confused.
Crossover: (Harry Potter) / (Sekirei)
Genre: Humor, Drama?
XXX
In hindsight, trying to confront Peter hadn't been the best option. The little bastard had always been slippery, and his latest stint as a traitor had apparently allowed him to hone it into a razor-sharp edge.
Peter had betrayed them, sent Voldemort after James and Lily and little Harry, and now he'd put the finishing touch on the whole mess. Sirius had to be the secret-keeper, everyone knew that. So Peter foolishly 'hunting him down' would play perfectly into their beliefs.
Everyone knew that the Blacks were no good. Disowned or not, a Dark family was a Dark family, and everyone knew that about the Blacks and their notorious madness. It was only a matter of time, they'd say, before Sirius Black turned traitor and went after the very family that had taken him in.
It should've been crushing. It should've suffocated him underneath the guilt and the rage and the frustration and the betrayed hurt and grief. Instead, it kind of imploded underneath its own weight.
Peter had escaped, nobody would ever believe Sirius to be innocent. Remus would never believe Sirius to be innocent.
But rather than crack under it all, Padfoot found himself staring blankly as the aurors arrived at the scene. They didn't pay any attention at all to the big black dog, though one of them picked up Peter's finger and put it in a tiny matchbox. Probably to bring home to his mother. Padfoot was fairly sure that she'd be dead within the year, from grief or stress, the woman had always had a weak constitution and the death of her only child would be a hard blow to recover from.
Tilting his head in thought, Padfoot kind of... gave up.
Trying to track down Peter would be pointless. Even if he somehow managed to both track him down and bring him in, the aurors would probably respond by stunning Sirius and releasing Peter with a medal for bringing him in.
There was no life for Sirius in Britain, and Padfoot didn't make a habit of hanging around places where life for Sirius wasn't possible. Even if he'd seen how it'd hurt Regulus to the core.
Turning on his heel, Padfoot began to walk. He wasn't sure where he was going, but leaving Europe entirely sounded like the sensible option. Not that he really knew much of anything about life outside of Europe. Wizards were an insular lot, even among themselves.
XXX
Kazehana wasn't quite drunk to the point of complete insanity, so she was willing to admit that seeing a dog sit at the bar was a bit weird.
Then again, it apparently paid for its drink, so it wasn't like she could fault the bartender for keeping it around. It was probably one of the few bastards who did.
Kazehana could usually get around it by either pretending to be too drunk to form coherent sentences, or with some very strategically interspersed strip-shows. It wouldn't do for the bartender to become inured to her body's allure after all, so she had to make sure she only used it the 'perfect' amount of times. Enough to keep him willing to feed her alcohol for the chance to see some skin, but not enough to get him bored with it.
Kazehana didn't particularly like the guy, but the booze was decent, and – especially considering how she didn't really have a proper income anymore – 'free' accounted for a quality all onto itself.
But yeah, the big black dog sitting at the bar was new. Also, it was drinking alcohol, which Kazehana had a vague recollection of being lethally poisonous to canines. Something about their kidneys? She hadn't really been paying attention to it back when Matsu had briefly gotten a bit obsessed with how cute puppies were, and it'd been a long time ago.
"Don't you know that'll kill you, mutt?" Kazehana wobbled into a seat next to the dog.
The dog glanced her way, and then very deliberately grabbed an open bottle by the neck, and chugged it down all in one go.
Kazehana blinked. "Well. If you're gonna go, might as well go in style." She gave the dog a sloppy salute and focused her attention back on the important things in life. Namely, the fact that her drink had just arrived.
She continued to pay attention to the new drinks arriving in front of her until the bartender started frowning at her. Probably still wary over that one time she'd nearly drowned another patron in her puke. Which was silly, because she'd only done that because the idiot had been completely incapable of taking a hint and had spent the entire night trying to get into her pants. Well, she'd also really needed to puke, but she could've made it to the bathroom, or a back-alley. She just hadn't wanted to.
Hell, this particular night was turning out great, because everyone was wary of trying to strike up a conversation when the giant dog started growling at them for it. Nobody at all around to bother her, and lots of free booze to drink. Ah, this was heaven.
But with the bartender looking so stingy, it was probably time to seek out new avenues for drunkenness.
"Thanks for a fantastic night, mutt." Kazehana grinned at the dog who'd probably die from alcohol-poisoning before the night was through even if it hadn't been biologically unable to process the alcohol.
Sad to see it go, but it wasn't like there was ever any point in getting attached to anything in her life. So whatever.
The dog glared blearily up at her from its position half-slumped across the bar. Surrounded by empty shot-glasses and bottles both.
Kazehana snorted a laugh at it, happy in the knowledge that at least she wasn't the most miserable soul alive. For another couple of hours or so anyway, until the dog keeled over dead.
Not entirely sure why, she kind of just leaned in and kissed it on the nose. It'd just looked so-...
Warmth bloomed.
Light swarmed.
Wings spread.
A drunk dog and an equally drunk Sekirei stared at each other for a long moment.
Finally, Kazehana started to laugh nervously. Yes, it was just that she was drunk. Drunk enough to hallucinate. There was no way that she'd bonded with an Ashikabi who was a dog.
"Uhh, lady, did you just grow wings?" The bartender shattered her last refuge.
Kazehana glared at him, then glared at the dog, then did the only thing she could think of. "Fuck!"
The dog stared at her for a moment longer, before it turned its eyes back to a recently-added half-bottle of whiskey with something that could only be described as a frantic need. Kazehana stole the bottle first, and chugged it.
Alcohol wasn't for dogs anyway.
XXX
Miya kind of stared.
Kazehana had bite-marks all over. Her clothes were also covered in dog-hair. She was drunk to the point of being barely coherent. She had a crest on the back of her neck where there hadn't been one before. And she was leaning on a dog that seemed to be just as drunk as she was. A dog whose teeth looked remarkably like the marks imprinted all over Kazehana.
"Dogs can't handle alcohol, Kazehana." Miya said after a moment that probably stretched a bit too far to be entirely casual.
The dog looked at her way, made a scoffing-noise, and then snagged the sake-bottle out of Kazehana's hands and chugged it. Kazehana made a horribly offended noise and tried to kick it, but it used its bulk to knock her on her ass and then kind of just leaned on her in a way that made it virtually impossible for her to move.
Miya stared at the dog for a long moment, before smiling.
The dog had broken the rules of Izumi house by drinking alcohol inside of its walls. She knew what to do when people broke the rules, even if they were only animals. That meant that everything made sense now. So Miya smiled, and the demon reared its head.
XXX
Homura blinked confusedly at Kazehana, then turned to Miya, because she couldn't actually have said what he thought she had, could she?
"I've seen them Norito." Miya nodded, looking resigned.
"But-..." Homura motioned to Kazehana and the giant dog sitting on its haunches next to her. "It's a dog!"
"An alcoholic dog." Kazehana helpfully provided.
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Homura glared. "Alcohol is poisonous to dogs! And it's drinking it like it's water!"
The dog made a small scoffing sound, wagged its tail, and started reaching for the bottle in Kazehana's hand.
Kazehana, obviously having experience with this behavior, clutched the bottle to her chest. "No! This is my sake! You don't even like sake! There's still whiskey in the bedroom!"
Miya twitched. "Drunken behavior is prohibited at the Izumi Inn."
The dog's tail stopped wagging, and Homura felt a strange sense of vicious satisfaction as it slowly moved to settle between the dog's legs. Kazehana tried to hide her sake-bottle in her cleavage, with varied success.
Even if the world completely stopped making sense, at least Miya was still terrifying. Good to know.
XXX
Minato had been confused when he'd first met Musubi. He'd become more confused when he'd met the rest of his flock, but some things had also started to begin to make sense. Weird sense, but still sense.
Then Minato met Kazehana. Specifically, Minato met Kazehana's Ashikabi. The dog. The alcoholic dog.
The bond between Sekirei and Ashikabi was supposed to be akin to 'marriage', but Kazehana's Ashikabi was a dog. The Sekirei were there for the sake of having children with humans, but Kazehana had ended up with a dog. A literal dog.
Minato wasn't sure if that said some really disturbing things about Kazehana's sexual preferences, or if someone had missed a step somewhere. A very important step. Either way, he couldn't quite convince himself that things made sense now. Not after having met the dog-Ashikabi. It was just too weird.
Then again, everyone was just as weirded out as Minato on the subject of the dog-Ashikabi, so there was probably some kind of bizarre 'exception to the rule'-thing going on. But Minato honestly couldn't bring himself to say that the Sekirei Plan and the bond between an Ashikabi and their Sekirei was in any way something that made sense.
Maybe it was because Kazehana got really really drunk once? Except, that still didn't explain how the dog could drink booze without dying. An optic illusion maybe? They were all only imagining that the dog was getting drunk because of the booze-fumes coming off the always-drunk Kazehana?
Except that still didn't really make any sense, and really, Minato was just going in circles here.
Kazehana's Ashikabi was a dog.
XXX
Padfoot wasn't sure what the winged lady's deal was, but she bought him alcohol, so he didn't mind if she decided to kiss him on the nose a few times here and there. She was pretty enough he guessed, and it was nice to have someone who was willing to match him bottle for bottle.
It almost made him feel like he had a friend. Not just dead people he led to their doom. Not just a traitor who'd stolen everything from him. Not just a broken man who'd never believe Sirius's innocence. An actual friend.
It was-... Sometimes, when she scratched him behind the ear and wondered tiredly what sorrow he was drinking away-... Sometimes, Padfoot could almost imagine what it'd be like to be Sirius again.
But Padfoot was Padfoot, and there would never be a life for Sirius Black.
So he drank, he wagged his tail at the woman who called herself Kazehana, and he continued to pretend to be completely oblivious whenever someone wondered about the 'dog-Ashikabi' who could drink like a goose. Because Padfoot was only Padfoot, and the thought of having once been something else hurt too much to consider.
XXX
[Time Passes]
XXX
Kazehana looked up at the growl coming from her Ashikabi.
Normally, the only way to get the dog to growl at something was to tempt it with booze that was then stolen away from under its nose, and even that usually sounded halfway playful. Her Ashikabi was a very kind person, even if he was a dog.
The dog was staring at a newspaper. One of those newspapers that sometimes showed up at the Inn's doorstep, with English text and pictures of people in weird clothes. Most everyone had glanced through them once or twice, but at the end of the day it was just filled to the brim with ridiculous things. Like an inside-joke for a small community of English-speaking cosplayers.
An alcoholic dog who read the newspaper was weird. But at least it wasn't like he read something that actually made any kind of sense, so at least that was comforting. Kazehana wouldn't really have minded either way, having long since grown used to her Ashikabi being possibly more intelligent than half the population at the Inn, despite how little he seemed to care for 'human' concerns.
Frowning to herself at the sight of her Ashikabi growling at the newspaper with blatant hostility, Kazehana moved to look over the dog's shoulder.
There was a picture of a family of redheads, a headline about a grand prize, and some text about a vacation. Also, apparently one of the children went to school with someone famous? They were talking about some 'Harry Potter'-person, and how they went to 'Hogwarts' together with one of the family-members, but considering the redhead's age Kazehana was just going to assume that it was a school.
And her Ashikabi was growling at the article like it was some kind of zombie-Minaka, back from the dead to sneak into the bedrooms of little children everywhere and shout 'boo' in their sleeping faces. Kazehana really didn't know what to think about that, but at the same time she couldn't help but wonder if perhaps she needed therapy for the sheer imagery of zombie-Minaka.
She was putting a padlock on every window in the Inn.
XXX
Padfoot stared at Peter. Peter sitting there safe and smug on the shoulder of the redheaded boy.
He nearly didn't notice the actual text, but he forced his eyes to take that in too. Only to realize that Peter was in the same school as Harry. Little Harry was sharing a dorm with Peter, completely unknowing of the traitor's presence.
Padfoot couldn't-...
This was-...
Sirius glared with hatred at the picture in front of him.
He was going to kill that traitorous bastard.
XXX
In hindsight, Kazehana should've probably figured that something weird was going on by the time her Ashikabi – the dog – had booked a flight to England.
But honestly, she'd been kind of busy working out the logistics for putting padlocks on the inn's windows without having Miya disemboweling her. And by the time she'd noticed that she had plane-tickets to England, she'd kind of just shrugged and gone with the flow.
It was possible that Matsu had some plan that required Kazehana to be outside of the country. Possibly a lewd plan, and Kazehana would be loath to interrupt such a thing. The other possibility of course being that she'd entered some competition whilst drunk off her ass, or even directly ordered plane-tickets whilst drunk off her ass.
Kazehana spent a lot of time drunk off her ass.
No, Kazehana didn't really consider anything strange to be happening until she noticed that she was going through her emergency-liquor-bag a lot slower than she'd come to expect over the last few years.
Also, her Ashikabi didn't wobble like he usually did when he walked, or snatch bottles out of her hand when she was too distracted to notice in order to chug them down himself.
For the first time since she'd met him, her canine Ashikabi was sober.
That was when Kazehana realized that something strange and potentially very important was happening.
So when he started navigating through London like he knew exactly where he was going, Kazehana followed after him with a concerned frown, not even once speaking up about how they weren't actually entering any of the great many alcohol-serving places that they were passing by.
Not until her Ashikabi pulled on her sleeve and introduced her to what might as well have been a literal hole in the wall called 'the Leaking Cauldron'. So small and run down that it might as well have been blended into the wall for all the attention anyone paid to it.
Then her Ashikabi continued to pull her past the actual alcohol and out again to its backyard, which included a wall. A wall that retreated when the dog smacked its paw a few times against one of the bricks, revealing an entire shopping-district somehow inside of the wall.
It was at this point that Kazehana's vague schooling in elementary physics – that they'd always laughed about, because Sekirei were above the petty laws of the universe – made a kind of whimpering noise, and then passed out.
There was bending the rules of reality, and then there was absolutely violating the laws of reality for shits and giggles. And Kazehana suddenly dearly wished to be a lot less sober than she currently was.
People ran back and forth in robes, the street didn't look remotely designed for even carriages to pass through, and a few people were waving little sticks around.
Actually, a lot of those outfits looked familiar. Familiar in the sense that Kazehana was fairly sure that she'd just found where her Ashikabi's newspapers had been coming from. And considering how the dog had been left growling hatefully at a news-article a while back, she was guessing that they were here because of something to do with that.
XXX
A/n: I'd honestly forgotten that I'd written "Raised by an Ashikabi" ages ago without publishing it, because it ended up so ridiculously short. So a big thank you to the anon who decided to talk about the potential of an animagus!Ashikabi, because the aborted hilarity of that mess allowed me to convince myself to publish the "Seo is a parent"-mess along with it.
And yeah, it was supposed to be Harry being the animagus, but the moment I heard of the idea, I kind of just went "Hey Padfoot, guess what?" and then everything kind of snowballed from there.
As for Seo as a parent... I don't think he'd really be a bad one. At least not with the moderating influences of his Sekirei, and I do think it'd likely end up having a hilarious scene at some point over Snape insulting "Harry's father" and Harry reacting to it like he'd insulted Seo instead. But the circumstances would probably end up having to be really contorted to get there, so I kind of gave up on it.