Chpt. 10 Ana's POV:

"Would you like a drink?" I ask as we enter my hotel room.

"Whatever you have will be fine" Christian answers.

I pour us both a glass of wine and walk over to the couch in the living room where Christian joins me. I'm honestly not sure where I want this conversation to go; I am confused on so many levels. On one hand we connected so well with one another not just in Taiwan but also in Christian's apartment a couple weeks ago. Neither of us was able to find someone else we could be intimate with because we were waiting for the other person, that has to mean something right? But, I will not stand for him treating me like a piece of trash that can easily be discarded when he doesn't like something. I may want to be a sub in the bedroom but I won't tolerate someone treating me as if I am below them.

"Ana" Christian says taking a deep breath. "I cannot apologize enough for the way I treated you. I over reacted and for that I am so sorry. I realize it was wrong but the moment I realized who you were my mind just went crazy at all the possibilities."

"The possibilities?" I ask.

"Ugh" he says running his hands through is hair. "Honestly, this will probably make you hate me more but my first thought was that you did all of this just to get closer to my company – to steal other deals from me."

"What?! No that's not –" I reply angrily.

"I know Ana" Christian pauses. "Like I said, that was my first thought. I immediately knew it wasn't possible; you had no idea who I was in Taiwan plus an entire year had gone by before we saw one another again. I couldn't wrap my head around how we could make this work if we were business rivals; how would our real lives not get in the way?"

"Christian, we're not business rivals. I have no desire to take over any other companies, trust me my plate is full. I wasn't even looking for another company after SIP but Seattle E Books came along and it complimented SIP perfectly. I'm not into buying and selling companies the way you are; I just want to publish books" I explain.

"I know, I had several sessions with my therapist and he helped me realize that all the complications were in my head and likely unrealistic" He sighs.

"So if you realized this, why didn't you call or email me? I gave Taylor my card –" I question frustrated.

"But I did Ana! I emailed you every day, you never responded to me! I thought that was your way of telling me that you could never forgive me for the way I treated you" he pleads.

"I didn't get a single email from you" I say pulling out my iphone and searching my emails by his name.

"Ana, look at my phone" he pulls out his blackberry, clicking on the sent folder and searching my name.

"What? I didn't….why didn't these come through?" I ask puzzled.

"I don't know, but please read them" Christian gives me his phone. "Start with the oldest…I sent you an email that night."

To: Ana
From: Christian
Subject: Deepest apologies

Ana,
I am so sorry that I did not drive you home tonight, please email me or call me at 897-555-1562 so I can explain.
Christian

To: Ana
From: Christian
Subject: Please

Ana,
Please call me…I cannot apologize enough for last night. I need to talk to you, PLEASE
Christian

I read through more than a dozen emails all similar to the first few, begging me to call him and for a chance to explain. I am more confused than ever now; all these emails say they were delivered and he has my correct email address at SIP on it. How could I have not gotten these emails? No one has access to my emails; not even Stacy.

"I don't understand" Is the only thing I can say.

"I thought since you didn't call or email me you didn't want anything to do with me. I didn't know what else to do…This is all so new to me…"Christian explains.

"Why didn't I get these emails? How could they have not come through? This doesn't make any sense" I say frustrated.

"The email address I sent it to matches the one on your card; is it printed wrong?" he asks.

"No, it's correct" I pull a business card out of my purse to show him.

"Your email address is at SIP, does anyone else have access to your account? Could it have been flagged by your IT department for some reason?" He asks.

"No, when I changed email addressed they were instructed to allow all emails through to my account unless they are clearly spam and those are to be reviewed daily just incase something gets in that shouldn't" I explain.

"Is it possible someone hacked into the server at SIP?" Christian asks.

"No…" I pause. "Shit!"

"What?" Christian asks concerned.

"We just switched our email server over to the one at Seattle E Books as they had more space than the one at SIP did. Just the other day my IT guy recommended we upgrade some software on their server because he felt we were at risk for hacking. But why would someone target my email? And ones from you specifically?" I ponder.

"Could it be someone at Seattle E Books?" Christian asks.

"Maybe" I sigh. "There's an editor there that has a lengthy criminal record that worries me but the owners swear he is a perfect employee."

"Would you like me to have my IT guy look into it? I promise Ana, I won't him look at any other emails or anything on the server. Just see if he can determine what happened to the emails I sent you?" Christian suggests.

"I don't know…."I take a deep breath thinking about my options. "I suppose if you can swear he won't look at anything else on the server. I don't want to ask our IT department as I'm not as comfortable with them yet especially if this is an inside job."

"I promise you Ana, Barney won't touch anything else on the servers. I'm going to call him right now so he can get to the bottom of this" Christian immediately finds the number in his phone.

"Christian, it's late this can wait –" I glance at the clock.

"Barney, I need your help. I sent several emails to Anastasia Steele over the last two weeks however they were not received. I need to you to look into why the emails were not received, we suspect someone may have diverted the emails before they reached her inbox…yes do what's necessary…Barney, you are only to look at the email issue-nothing else on the servers understood? Good…call me when you have info" Christian hangs up the phone.

"It could have waited until Monday" I sigh.

"I pay Barney enough money that he is available when I need him" Christian says. "Now, please tell me you will give me another chance? I want to make this up to you…"

"Christian I don't know what to think right now….you really hurt me when you tossed me aside" I explain.

"I know Ana, and I am so sorry. Please know that I never meant to treat you like that, I was wrong and if you let me I will do everything possible to show you how sorry I am and try to make it up to you" he begs.

"Christian if something like this comes up again, I need to know that you are going to be comfortable talking to me about it first. I know our…well whatever this is between us….is different but you need to be able to talk to me about things like this when they come up. If it's going to interfere with our…whatever….we need to talk about it" I say.

"I know…I promise if you give me another chance I will talk to you when something comes up. Please Ana give me another chance" Christian takes my hands in his looking me in the eye so I can see how truly sorry he is.

"Okay…." I sigh.

"Okay? Really?" His eyes full of hope.

"Yes, but know that I don't give second chances away easily" I warn.

"I know" he pulls me into a hug. "Thank you Ana."

"Christian, it's getting late but we need to think about what exactly this is between us. When you thought about getting involved in BDSM at first how did you see it working with woman?" I ask as he sits back on the couch.

"Honestly?" he asks and I nod. "I originally just thought I would find a woman I would be compatible with sexually and we would spend time in my playroom together. That our relationship so to speak would be exclusive to the bedroom."

"I see" I say disappointed.

In my mind that's what I wanted originally too; for someone to strictly dominate and take control in the bedroom. But with Christian it's different…

"But I don't know that's still want I want" Christian says interrupting my thoughts.

"What do you want?" I whisper, somewhat afraid to hear his response.

"I don't know" Christian sighs, running his hands through his hair. "I love what we had in the playroom and in Taiwan. I think we are a good match in the bedroom; but seeing you with another guy on the dance floor tonight had me seeing red. I don't want to think of you with anyone else."

"Well….we could insist that we are exclusive with each other" I suggest.

"Absolutely, there should be no one else for either of us…." Christian pauses.

"But?" I prompt.

"I don't know if it's possible but I think I want to spend time with you outside the playroom too" he says shyly looking at the floor.

"I would like that" I reassure him.

"I think we just need to figure out how that would work" he says.

"Yeah, I don't want to be controlled outside the bedroom. I like being able to talk like this and feel equal to you" I explain.

"Me too" Christian says.

"So maybe we try a combination of some sort? Dom/Sub arrangement in the playroom but when we are not in a scene…." I break off not knowing how to word what I'm trying to say.

"Something like that…we will figure it out" Christian says.

Christian leans into kiss me, looking in my eyes almost as if he wants permission before going any further. I nod my head slightly and he moves closer to me until our lips touch and almost immediately I feel the same zap of electricity that I felt when he took my hand at the charity ball. His lips feel so soft against mine as he gently pushes his lips further against mine. I bring my hands to his neck, running my fingers through his soft hair that I have missed over the last few weeks. He only let me touch his hair once in Taiwan and except for that one time he always restrains my hands when we are intimate.

"I should probably go…"Christian just barely whispers between kisses.

"You don't have to" I kiss him deeply, my tongue caressing his lips which open just slightly.

"If I stay I don't know that I will be able to stop, it's been a long couple of weeks without you" he says pulling away.

"Do you want to stay?" I ask.

"Yes" he sighs. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Christian, I would very much like you to spend the night with me" I move on top of him so I am straddling his lap.

"Taylor…I'm staying here tonight…I will call you in the morning" Christian says into his phone before hanging up and tossing it on the floor.

Christian pulls me closer to him, capturing my mouth with his this time the kiss is full of hunger and passion. I feel comfortable with my decision to ask him to stay tonight; I think talked about a lot and at least have a better understanding of what we want and don't want from this arrangement. I'm still not sure what to call it; are we dating? Just fucking but occasionally talking? I think a title for what we are doing is less important as we both know we want more than to just be kinky fuck buddies.

I keep my hands in his hair remember he said in Taiwan that he didn't want me to touch his chest; I'm not sure what that's about but hopefully one day he will tell me about it. I feel his tongue against my lips seeking entry which I immediately grant as I gently grind my sex against his ever growing erection. Since this dress is so short, it's practically around my waist which he quickly realizes as his hands find my ass pushing me harder against his erection causing me to moan loudly.

"Take the dress off" he directs.

I reach down and slowly pull the dress over my head making it a point to grind against his erection as the dress slowly exposes the cut out bra that I wore our second night in Taiwan. By his groan I can tell he approves of the bra and likely remembers that night as well as I do. His arms wrap around my back pulling my breasts to his face allowing him to suck on my nipples. His hands find the clasp, within seconds the bra falls down giving him full access to my breasts.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm" I moan as he bites my nipple gently.

He returns his attention to my mouth as he pushes my hips down so my sex grinds against his erection. He quickly stands up, startling me causing me to grab a hold of his neck tightly; he carries me into the bedroom and places me gently on bed before removing my now saturated thong. He climbs on the bed but immediately moves down towards my legs. He pushes my legs apart before laying down so his face is against my sex. He blows gently on my clit sending shivers through my body just before he slowly explores my sex with his tongue. His tongue is everywhere as he holds my thighs apart giving me better access just as his mouth finds my clit and he latches on tightly.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I moan as he sucks hard.

The orgasm rushes to the surface only minutes after his mouth finds my sex and I find myself grabbing the sheets trying to hold in the screams. We haven't exactly talked about the rules in the bedroom as far as voicing pleasure is concerned so I suppose he can't punish for me for breaking a rule that we didn't already establish. Although it's pretty much known that the sub doesn't speak until told to do so by the dom. My attention is immediately returned to the present when Christian's finger enters me deeply.

"Oh God!" I scream no longer able to contain myself.

"Do you like that?" he looks up at me.

"Yes….don't stop….please don't stop" I say as his finger plunges in and out of me.

His mouth returns to my clit just as he adds a second finger and I am nearing the edge. The orgasm is so close; I'm just waiting for permission to come. My hand pushes his head closer to my clit encouraging him to suck harder as my hips involuntarily try to buck against his hand getting his fingers to move deeper inside of me.

"Please Christian…..Please….." I beg knowing that I won't be able to last much longer.

"I've got you" he says curling his fingers forward deep inside of me hitting my g spot perfectly.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I scream loudly. "Please Christian!"

"What is it Ana? Tell me what you need?" He asks full of concern.

"I need to come Christian!" I yell.

"Come Ana!" he commands just before his mouth latches on to my clit hard again.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I yell as the orgasm rips through my body.

Christian's fingers continue to plunge in and out of me, letting me ride out my orgasm as long as possible. He climbs up to my face kissing me deeply; I can taste my juices on his lips but I don't care as I pull his face closer to me his fingers still deep inside of me. As my orgasm finally subsides, Christian gently removes his finger and rolls off of me pulling my back close to his chest. We sleep like this the entire night and I wake only when the sun shines brightly through my window reminding me that I forgot to close the curtains before we fell asleep. Glancing at the clock I see that it is barely seven in the morning and realize Christian is still sound asleep next to me. I'm pleased with how our conversation went last night and even though we still have a lot to learn about how the BDSM lifestyle is going to work for us I think we have at least opened the lines of communication.

I quickly grab a robe and head to the bathroom to wash up and brush my teeth while Christian lays motionless in my bed sound asleep. I go out to the living room, checking a few emails seeing several from Stacy indicating the movers will be here this afternoon to take the few items I have in the hotel room to my new apartment at Escala which I closed on yesterday morning. The remainder of my items from my apartment in New York will be arriving on Monday which I'm looking forward to because there are a few items from home that I truly miss especially several paintings that were hanging in my bedroom.

"Have you been awake long?" Christian walks out of the bedroom.

"About an hour or so" I say looking at the clock.

"Are you moving this weekend?" Christian looks at all the boxes around the room.

"Yes, the movers will be arriving this afternoon" I reply.

"Grey" Christian answers his phone. "What did you find? (pause) Really? (pause) How was that possible? (pause) Send me his name. Well done Barney."

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"That was Barney with an update on your email issue" Christian explains.

"And?" I take a deep breath.

"It seems your email was hacked internally; actually from a company owned computer. The emails from me were removed from the server before they ever reached your inbox. It appears all of your emails are being held before they are delivered to your inbox for you to review. Barney says there isn't much of a delay so you likely wouldn't even notice that you did not receive them immediately" Christian explains.

"Were any other emails removed from the server?" I ask.

"Not that Barney can tell" Christian answers.

"How the fuck can something like this happen?" I ask angrily.

"Barney believes the person who hacked into the server had all the log in credentials necessary to access the email servers. From there he set up a simple email diversion program which forwarded all your emails to a dummy account before they were sent to your inbox" Christian answers.

"Does he know who did this?" I'm beyond furious.

"Yes…" Christian pauses reading an email on his phone. "An employee by the name Jack Hyde."

"Son of a bitch!" I scream. "I knew there was something up with that bastard the moment I saw his criminal record!"

"Barney has temporarily transferred your email account to a server at GEH until you can get someone to fix the hack. This will prevent any other emails from getting deleted without your knowledge. I give you my word your email will not be monitored by GEH" Christian promises.

"Thank you for allowing me to use your resources, I will have this resolved by the end of the week" I vow.

"It's not a problem. Take as long as you need; if you need Barney's assistance let me know" he says.

I send an email to Stacy requesting she schedule a meeting with HR for first thing Monday morning immediately followed by a meeting with Jack Hyde. I wasn't thrilled with having someone with such an extensive criminal record working for me in the first place but this is icing on the cake. He will be out on his ass by 10am on Monday morning for invading my privacy. The only thing that bothers me is why I was targeted and why it was only Christian's emails that were deleted before they were delivered.

"We will take a shower and then grab some breakfast" Christian interrupts my thoughts.

"No, I have too much to do. I need to pack the last few things, respond to a few more emails, I need to move the boxes –" I begin.

"Ana…it was not a request" Christian says with a firm voice standing tall above me.

I've seen this look, this is his dom stance I quickly realize. Although I have a significant amount of things to do before the movers arrive in a few hours I remind myself that as a sub I'm supposed to trust that my dom knows exactly what I need even if I don't always recognize the need. That's what giving up control is all about; for a few moments I don't have to make the decisions. With the chaos of the morning and the likely craziness of the remainder of today I understand Christian maybe right even if my first instinct was to refuse.

"Yes sir" I say looking at the floor as Christian leads me into the bathroom.

My eyes remain fixed on the floor as Christian turns the shower water on and gently unties my robe before sliding it down my arms allowing it to collect on the floor. I hear Christian removing his clothing before he opens the shower door and pulls me in with him. He guides me under the shower head, soaking my hair and my body as my eyes remain fixed on the floor. He quickly trades places with me so he is now under the shower.

"Put your arms above your head and don't move them" he instructs.

I immediately comply, lifting my arms above my head just as he pulls my face up and devours my lips with his. His hand is wrapped around my wrists holding my arms up tightly, as his other hand roams my body. He flexes his hips and I immediately feel his erection gently poking at my sex as I moan into his mouth granting his tongue full access. His hand gently pushes my legs apart, allowing him to rub his entire erection along my folds just as his mouth finds my nipple. He sucks hard on me for several minutes while he continues flexing his hips teasing me with his erection. I quickly feel an orgasm approaching just before he stops his assault on my breasts and my sex.

"On your knees" he directs.

Disappointed he is leaving me on the edge, I take a deep breath reminding myself he is in charge and I slowly fall to my knees as he instructed. He takes his erection in his hand stroking it several times in front of my face before guiding himself into my mouth. I immediately take him into my mouth, sucking him hard as his hand remains on my head allowing me to set the pace. He moans loudly when my hand finds his balls, fondling them gently. I am so focused on listening to his moans and pleasing him that everything that is going on right now quickly fades to the back of my mind. He gently guides my head closer to him, so I take him deep into the back of my throat. Once I take him as deep as I can, struggling not to gag, I swallow around him remember how much he enjoyed this the last time. He pulls back slightly, before pushing himself in deep again. This pattern continues for several minutes and I find myself taking him deeper without struggling as much. His pace suddenly picks up as his moans get louder; I'm struggling with the pace he is setting, getting close to asking him to slow down when he suddenly erupts against the back of my throat. I immediately swallow around him as he gently moves in and out of my mouth as his orgasm begins to subside.

"Stand up" He orders. "Put your leg on the side of the tub."

I immediately comply as he drops to his knees in front of me, his mouth quickly finding my sex. My head falls back against the cool shower wall has his tongue runs up and down my sex, his hands grasping my ass firmly. I moan loudly as his tongue runs gently over my clit providing just enough pressure…

"Shhhhhhhhhhh….quiet" he stops his assault on me.

Ugh! He can't be serious! Again, I take a deep breath and remind myself who is in charge as his mouth once again finds my sex. He pulls my hips closer to him, allowing him to have more access as his tongue darts just inside of me. I grip my firsts tightly, trying hard not to moan in ecstasy as he continues the wonderful torture on my sex. He tongue continues to explore my entire area, not spending too much time on any one area before moving to the next. When I least expect it, his mouth finds my clit and he sucks it hard nearly pushing me over the edge. The orgasm is almost within reach, my breathing is heavy and I'm not sure how much longer I can wait when he suddenly pulls away and stands up.

"Turn around, hands against the wall" He directs.

I immediately comply although I am not sure what his plan is at this point; all I know is that I need a release and soon. He comes closely up behind me, pulling my thigh up so my leg once again rests on the edge of the tub. His one hand finds my breast just as the other finds my sex; I can't help myself when my hips involuntarily buck against him trying to get him to enter me. Once again, just as the orgasm approaches, he stops all actions. He gently pulls my hips back, forcing me to take a couple steps back as he pushes on my back so I am slightly bent over. His hands return to their previous placements, this time he pinches my nipple and clit hard causing me to gasp.

Wack! He slaps my ass hard.

"I said quiet" he says pinching me clit hard again before thrusting a finger deep inside of me.

It takes everything in me to not cry out as his fingers continues to plunge gently in and out of me. Just as I feel the orgasm coming within reach, I feel his erection probing my folds as I sigh in relief. His hands move to me hips as he quickly pushes into me, causing me to moan loudly. He either chose to ignore this or didn't hear it because he makes no effort to address it. He pulls out nearly all the way, slamming into me roughly.

"Come Ana!" He orders as he slams into me while pinching my clit and nipple simultaneously.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" I hold in a mumbled scream as the orgasm takes.

Christian does not let up, he grabs my hips and continues fucking me hard prolonging the orgasm. Every time he enters me, he hits that magical spot just as his balls slap against me. He slams into me deeply, grabbing hold of my shoulders pulling me closer to him which pushes him even deeper inside of me.

"You are so tight….I love being so deep inside of you" he moans causing me to silently whimper at his words.

While holding onto my shoulders, he begins to move in and out of me. In this position he cannot pull out all the way but he is able to hit deeper inside of me every time he enters me. I can't believe my body is responding so quickly, as once again the orgasm is just within reach.

"Play with your clit" he instructs.

I've never pleasured myself, but knowing that he wants me to do this I immediately comply. My fingers quickly find my clit, rubbing it slowly alternating the amount of pressure I put on it. Christian continues thrusting in and out of me deeply, the multitude of sensations is quickly becoming too much as the next orgasm is about to take over.

"God….you feel so good…..Come with me Ana!" he commands just as we both find our release together.

He continues to gently move in and out of me prolonging both of our orgasms as he reaches down and puts his hand over mind guiding me to my clit again. I'm overly sensitive, the combination of movements is too much for me and I whimper. He must sense that it's too much as he gently wraps his arms around me pulling me so I am standing against him. He pulls out of me, before turning me so I am under the shower. He gently washes my hair and my body as I come down from the incredible shower sex. As he begins washing his own body, I notice several prominent round scars all over his chest and his back. I don't bring it up, but I realize it likely has something to do with him not wanting me to touch his chest and the reason my hands are always restrained when we are intimate.