Chpt. 20 APOV:
I wake the next morning wrapped in Christian's arms, his body pressed tightly against mine. My mind immediately returns to what happened yesterday; I don't know that I will ever be able to go into SIP without thinking of Hyde and seeing his body lying on my office floor. I'll never forget watching Sawyer fall, hitting his head on my desk and lying unconscious on the floor. I've never felt so helpless in my entire life; I never want to feel that way again.
"Morning baby" Christian says pulling me close to him.
"Morning" I reply.
"Are you okay?" Christian must immediately sense something is wrong.
"I don't know how I'm going to go back to SIP after everything that happened yesterday" I say quietly.
"Oh baby" Christian turns me over so we are face to face.
"How am I not going to walk into my office every day and not see Hyde lying on the floor or Sawyer getting shot?" I ask.
"Why don't you work at GEH for a while? The office you were using last week is still set up for you" he suggests.
"For how long though? I can't just run SIP from GEH…I have to actually be on site some days. Seattle E books doesn't have any space, they are practically outgrowing the space they are in right now" I point out.
"I have a couple empty floors at GEH, why don't you move SIP there" he suggests.
"What? No…" I look at him like he is crazy.
"Why not? You need office space, I have two or three floors that aren't being used" He asks.
"But what happens if things don't work out between us? Then you could kick me out of your building at any time and my company would be homeless" I question.
"Don't work out? Wait…are you thinking of leaving me? Are you not happy?" Christian looks at him full of worry.
"Oh baby, that's not what I'm saying at all" I assure him. "I just don't want to assume; I'm worried about what will happen to SIP if…."
"First, I don't even what you thinking about things not working between us. If you don't like something I'm doing or if you need more from me, just tell me. I will do anything not to lose you, anything. Second, I will have my real estate department send you an iron clad lease for the office space. It can be for as long as you want but it will assure you that I cannot just kick you out of GEH…" he interrupts.
"I'll think about it" I agree.
I'm still nervous about the arrangement but I know I won't be able to return to SIP, at least not anytime soon. I'm afraid that running the office from a distant will result in me missing important things and feeling out of touch with the staff. As I pull myself from my thoughts, I look at Christian and see he is lost in his thoughts as well. I can tell what is going through his head; he is worried because I said that I was concerned about renting the space from him in case things don't work out between us. He assumed I was saying I wanted to leave him, but the reality is we don't have a permanent relationship right now and we haven't been together very long. I can see the wheels turning in Christian's head and I know I need to pull him from this or he is going to continue to dwell on it all day.
"Christian?" I reach between us, grasping his soft erection.
"What?" he says, barely looking at me.
"Come take a shower with me?" I ask.
"No" he answers, pulling away from me and getting out of bed.
He throws on a pair of pajama pants, not bothering to put underwear on and storms out of the room. I'm shocked at what just happened; I'm left feeling completely confused and rejected. I take a long hot shower, trying to process everything that just happened on top of everything that happened yesterday. I get that Christian is upset, but he wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell him I wasn't thinking about leaving him. I quickly get dressed and go in search of Christian; the apartment is eerily silent when I walk downstairs. I don't see Christian anywhere; I check his office, the kitchen, the great room and any other room I can think of but don't find him. I even look in the playroom, not that I expected to find him there, but I checked anyway. I realize he probably left the apartment; feeling defeated I find my purse and head to my apartment. It's been almost two months since the night Hyde destroyed my apartment and I haven't been back since. Walking into my apartment you can't even tell anything ever happened; every piece of furniture has been replaced, the walls are freshly painted, the apartment even smells new.
The apartment feels so empty and lonely which it never felt like before. I decide to go out shopping rather than sitting in an empty apartment. I don't know if we are still going to Taiwan tomorrow, but I want to pick out some new items in case we do. Even if we don't go, I suppose I can always where them in the playroom or something. I just know I can't sit here, thinking about what Christian is doing right now or what he is thinking. I find myself getting angry that he assumed I was thinking about leaving him, but I suppose I can understand why he thought that. But, I'm even more angry that he just left the apartment without telling me. There was no note, no text, nothing from him telling me he was leaving.
I spend the next several hours shopping at several high end lingerie stores; obviously they don't stock BDSM attire in the store but they have carry very provocative clothing which can easily work for a scene. I load several bags into my trunk before treating myself to a late lunch. I check my phone while I'm waiting for lunch to be served, but there is nothing from Christian. I sigh in disappointment and can't help but wonder where he is right now. I push my food around my plate, no longer hungry and eventually pay for a meal I barely ate.
Christian, I'm sorry. Can we talk? –A
I finally get enough courage to send him a text but I still don't get a response. On my way I'm stop by a liquor store and by several bottles of wine; I have no idea what alcohol is in my apartment but right now I feel like drinking. Arriving back at Escala, I pull into my assigned parking spot momentarily glancing at Christian's parking spots which are all full. I'm angry knowing that he is upstairs and not responding to my texts, not calling me or not even caring that I'm not in the apartment.
"Hi Kate" I say as she picks up her phone.
"Ana! How are you? I haven't heard from you in ages" she answers quickly.
"That's why I was calling" I pause. "Do you want to go out tonight?"
"Really? Of course!" Kate exclaims happily.
"I don't know anywhere around here" I say.
"Oh, how about Mile High Club? It's only been open for about a year now and is supposed to be pretty hot" Kate says.
"Sure, text me the address and I will meet you there" I reply.
"See you around 9?" she asks.
"Sounds good" I end the call.
I pour a large glass of wine before going into my room and finding something to wear. Right now, I just want to go out and forget about Christian; it's been hours and I haven't heard from him. I don't understand why he hasn't answered my text or at least called to see where I am. I quickly finish my glass of wine and pour another before taking a long bath, trying to relax before I go out dancing tonight with Kate. I really don't enjoy going to clubs, but I don't want to spend the night alone here dwelling on everything that happened. I decide to wear a navy blue, form fitting short dress with black heels to go out tonight in. A little before ten I arrive downstairs where the doorman calls me a cab; I don't want to drive since I plan on drinking tonight and since I've already had two large glasses of wine.
"Kate!" I yell as soon as she steps out of a cab.
"Ana!" she hugs me.
"Hi Ana" Elliot says pulling me for a hug.
"Elliot, how are you?" I ask, trying not to show the disappointment that he is here.
"I'm good pretty lady, how are you?" he asks.
"I'm okay" I lie.
"I was surprised you didn't join Christian for lunch today at my parents" Elliot says as we sit down and order our drinks.
"Oh yeah…I had a few errands to run" I make up an excuse. "Now, who wants to dance?"
Kate and I head out to the dance floor leaving Elliot alone at the table. The music takes over my body and I lose myself dancing, trying to forget everything that happened over the last few days. The hours fly by and before I know it the alcohol hits me hard. I tell Kate I need to sit down, she accompanies me back to our table where I put my head down in the middle of the table.
"Little lady you okay?" Elliot laughs.
"No…" I moan.
"Let's get you some water" Kate laughs leaving the table.
"Where's Christian tonight?" Elliot asks.
"Who the fuck knows" I answer angrily.
"I see" he mumbles.
"I think I need some fresh air" I stand up from the table.
"Why don't you wait, I'll come with you. Just let me tell Kate-" he says.
"No, it's fine. I'll be right back" I head to the front door.
Stepping outside the cool air hits me like a ton of bricks and suddenly everything outside is spinning. I sit down on the edge of a brick wall that surrounds the flower bed, bending my legs to the side desperately trying not to show all the cars passing by my underwear. I take a few deep breaths, trying to get the cool air to help me sober up but I don't find it to be working as I had hoped.
"Hello gorgeous" a deep voice says above me.
"Hi" I look up seeing a tall, somewhat good looking man standing above me.
"You look like you could use a hand" he says putting his hand out.
I take his hand and stand up, which immediately causes everything to start spinning again. UGH, I should have stayed sitting down. I immediately regret moving; my head had just stopped spinning when this guy approached me. I should have stayed where I was. I sway on my feet as I try to convince the world to stop spinning.
"Would you like to go inside and get something to drink?" he asks.
"No, I'm fine out here" I answer.
"How about I take you some place more comfortable so you can lie down?" he asks.
"Ummmm….no that's okay" I say, glancing around there are only a few people outside the club at this hour. I wish I had let Elliot come outside with me; this guy is seriously giving me the creeps.
"Come on baby" he pulls my hand towards the side walk.
"I believe the lady said no" Another voice says firmly; a voice I quickly recognize as Christian.
"I don't believe this is any of your business" the guy still holding my hand says.
"It is my fucking business seeing as you have your hands on my girlfriend!" Christian glares at the man.
"Well if she is your girlfriend what is she doing out here drunk, about to pass out? If she were mine, I wouldn't let her out of my sight" The man says, holding my hand tighter.
Suddenly the world starts spinning rapidly and before I know what's happening I lean over and throw up the little I ate today.
"UGH…nevermind you can have her" the man quickly jumps back as puke lands all of his shoes.
The sudden movement throws of my balance even more which has me throwing up again. I feel Christian's arm around my waist guiding me over to the flower bed where I was just sitting. I continue throwing up everything I drank today as Christian holds my hair out of my face. I really don't want him near me right now; I'm still pissed at him but I would rather him be here than the strange guy who wouldn't let go of my hand.
"Come on, let's get you home" Christian says calmly.
"I don't want to go anywhere with you" I stand up slowly.
"Would you rather stay out here for some guy to take you around the corner and rape you?" Christian says angrily.
"Why would you even care?" I yell. "Just put me in a cab, I'll be fine."
"No! What happens if you pass out in the cab? Too many things can happen, let me take you home" he says.
"Fine…whatever. I'm not going to your place; if you're taking me anywhere it's to my home" I say firmly.
"If that's what you want" Christian agrees reluctantly.
"I need to get my purse inside" I say pulling away from him and walking back into the club.
Christian follows me as I go to the table and grab my purse and finish my glass of wine; trying to get rid of the taste of throw up still in my mouth. I feel Christian's eyes on me as I finish my drink, but I don't care what he is thinking – he left me. Elliot and Kate are dancing again; I need to at least let her know I'm leaving so she doesn't worry.
"Let's go" Christian says.
"I need to tell Kate I'm leaving" I walk onto the dance floor, Christian trailing behind me.
Christian's hands go to my hips, his body is close to mine as we make our way through the crowd on the dance floor. Of course Elliot and Kate are on the other side of the dance floor; it takes Christian and I several minutes to finally reach them. I tell her I'm leaving and that Christian is driving me home; she smiles and continues grinding herself against Elliot. Elliot promises to get her home safely seeing as she is as drunk as I was not long ago. Before we leave, Christian guides me to the bar and orders me a bottle of water. He insists I drink at least half of it before we leave; I reluctantly agree though the water does help the feeling of dehydration I have had since I came back inside. The entire time Christian's arm never leaves my back, I don't know if it's because he wants to touch me or if it's because he wants everyone there to know they can't touch me. I make no effort to touch him in return but allow him to guide me back outside.
"My car is just around the corner" he says as we step outside into the cool air again.
I don't reply but allow him to guide me through the crowd outside to the now familiar black SUV. He helps me into the passenger seat before getting into the driver's seat. I lean against the door and slowly watch the buildings pass us by as we drive back to Escala. Neither of us say a word the entire trip, I don't think we know what to say. Seeing Christian again has the anger I felt earlier returning; I can't believe he left the penthouse without saying a word to me or even acknowledging me! A few moments later we arrive at Escala and I get out of the car quickly not giving him the opportunity to help me out. He follows me into the elevator where I punch in the code to my floor; again the ride is silent and Christian makes no attempt to touch me. Clearly his arm around me at the club was to show everyone that I was with him rather than him wanting to touch me which is a depressing realization.
"I'm home now; you can go to your place" I say as we get off the elevator.
"Ana, please….can we talk?" he asks.
"It's late, I just want to go to sleep" I answer, not wanting to hear his excuses right now.
"Ana…." He says sadly.
"We can talk in the morning" I sigh.
"I don't want to leave you" he replies.
"You had no problem leaving me this morning" I fire back.
"You're right….Please Ana…let me explain" he begs.
"Not tonight. You can sleep in the guest room here if you don't want to go upstairs, we can talk when we wake up in the morning" I reluctantly say seeing that he isn't dropping the issue.
"Okay" he sighs.
I show Christian the guest room which is on the other side of the apartment from my bedroom and see that he has everything he needs before heading to my own bedroom. I throw on a tank top and crawl into bed, quickly falling asleep forgetting that Christian is down the hall from me. Sleep quickly finds me as the exhaustion from the last several days plus the alcohol hits me. I wake up a few hours later to use the bathroom and take a few Advil incase I end up with a hangover in the morning. I hear a loud scream just as I crawl back into bed and I immediately run out to the main area of the apartment expecting to find someone but the area is dark and quiet. I hear another scream coming from the guest room and cautiously open the door afraid that someone has broken in and is attacking Christian. I sigh in relief when I open the door and see that no one is there, I check the bathroom attached to the guest room which is also empty.
"NOOOOOOOOOO! STOP!" Christian screams thrashing around in bed.
"MOMMY! HELP ME! MAKE HIM STOP!" He screams.
My heart immediately breaks; his voice is that of a child begging for help. I try calling out to him but I get no response. No matter how mad I am at him I can't let him stay in this nightmare much longer, I need to find a way to pull him from it. I place my hands on his shoulders while calling his name, but still nothing.
"STOP IT! OUCH! HOT! IT HURTS MOMMY" He cries out.
His eyes are pinched shut as the tears run down his cheeks while his arms try to push something or someone away from his chest. I gently climb into bed with him, moving next to him trying not to startle him. I maneuver myself so I'm lying right next to him, our bodies are touching as he continues to thrash about in the bed. I wrap my leg around his waist, anchoring him to me as I place my chest against his. This is a risky move since he is already trying to keep someone or something from his chest but I have found the only way to help him when he is like this is to be as close to him as possible. I pull his head into my neck and gently rock us back and forth as he finally stops thrashing around. His heart is racing but I can feel his body slowly start to relax. His arms wrap around me, holding me tight against him.
"I'm sorry I woke you" he whispers against my neck.
"It's okay, I was up anyway" I say.
"Thank you" he says.
I don't say anything but rub small circles on his back as he places small light kisses on my neck. Several minutes pass by and his breathing is now returned to normal, his body is not nearly as tense as it was when he first woke up.
"You don't have to stay" he whispers but pulls me closer to him.
"Shhhhhhhhh" I say.
I know I should go back to my room but lying here in Christian's arms just feels so right. Seeing and hearing him in a nightmare like the one he just had breaks my heart. Tonight I was clear on the other side of the apartment instead of in bed with him; I can't help but feel guilty knowing that if I were in bed with him the nightmare likely wouldn't have lasted as long as it did. I wonder if his nightmares are always this bad; how long do they last if I'm not there? It makes me realize how much Christian and I still don't know about each other despite living together for the last couple of months. I realize Christian is sound asleep in my arms and I decide to try to get some sleep knowing that we have a lot to talk about tomorrow.
"Morning" Christian says as I begin to wake up.
"Good Morning" I greet him.
"Thank you for staying with me last night" Christian whispers.
"It's okay" I say.
"We should talk" Christian says quietly.
"I know" I sigh.
"I'm sorry I left yesterday" he says.
"Why did you leave?" I ask.
"I….SHIT….this is harder than I thought" I feel him tense against me.
"You can tell me" I prompt.
"When you said what if things don't work out….I….I was afraid you were saying you don't see things lasting between us. I thought it was your way of telling me that you were leaving me" he sighs.
"Christian" I pause. "I love you. I am not planning on going anywhere, I'm not leaving you."
"But…." He says.
"I was being realistic" I interrupt. "We haven't been together that long, we are still getting to know each other. What if one day you realize that I'm not enough for you? What if you realize you want someone who is a better sub? Or that you don't have time for a relationship with everything else going on in your life? If SIP were at GEH, you would be reminded of me every time you saw me…"
"Why wouldn't you be enough for me?" he asks surprised.
"Christian" I sigh, needing to voice my fears. "I know I'm not the perfect sub; I'm not the silent type who just takes what you dish out in the playroom. I'm sure when you decided to become involved in BDSM you pictured a perfect sub who did whatever you said. I'm sure you didn't expect to develop a full relationship with a sub, to have them living with you and sharing your work space."
"Ana…baby…." He pulls away so he can look me in the eyes as mine fill with tears. "Where is this coming from?"
"It's the reality Christian" I take a deep breath. "I'm afraid one day you are going to wake up and realize that you want that perfect sub that you had in mind when you found BDSM."
"You're right, I did want that perfect sub that was described in everything I read on BDSM" Christian admits and my heart sinks. "But then I found you. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were what I needed. I will never want you to be just a sub; I could never see you like that. You were everything I needed that I didn't know I needed."
"But you left yesterday morning…" I whisper, too touched by his words to find my voice.
"I was afraid Ana" He admits. "I thought you were leaving me, I couldn't bear to see you knowing that you were leaving. Knowing that you were thinking that we weren't going to last; that you didn't see a future with me. I can't imagine my life without you and the thought of you leaving petrified me. I've never told anyone outside of my family that I loved them…"
"I haven't said those words to anyone either Christian" I pull him close to me. "I'm not planning on things not working out between us. I was just worried about SIP and renting space from you incase a year or two from now you decide I'm not what you need."
"You will always be what I need. Even in the throes of a nightmare you are the only thing that can pull me from them. I will always need you" he kisses me gently on the lips.
"Can I ask you about them?" I say a few moments later.
"Sure" he takes a deep breath.
"You said I'm the only one that can pull you from your nightmares" I begin. "What happened before me when you had a nightmare?"
"They would last forever" he whispers. "Taylor once told me that he can hear my screams downstairs and that they have lasted for more than hour on many occasions. He once tried to wake me; that ended with him having a black eye because I punched him. Ever since then he doesn't interfere as long as I'm in my room. Eventually when I would wake I would spend hours playing the piano trying to calm down; I never would go back to sleep because I learned very quickly that if I did the nightmares would return. I got used to functioning on very little sleep; often just a matter of a couple of hours."
"How often did you have them?" I ask.
"Four to five times a week typically, sometimes more" he admits quietly.
That shocks me; I've sleep with him on numerous occasions when he didn't have nightmares. Over the last couple of months of living with him I've been witness to several nightmares but they didn't occur anywhere near that often. They've never lasted nearly as long as Christian describes and typically he seems to fall asleep with me afterwards.
"Christian…I had no idea" I sigh.
"Just please don't leave me Ana" he whispers. "I'll do anything, but I can't lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere Christian, I love you" I assure him.
"I love you, my life has changed so much since the day I met you" he kisses me passionately. "I was so pissed that I even had to go to Taiwan on that trip; it was supposed to be Ros going but they wouldn't deal with her because she is a woman. I never would have met you if I hadn't gone on that trip."
"If you ever want more from me, if I'm not doing enough…" I begin.
"Shhhhh….baby you're perfect the way you are. Don't change anything" he interrupts.
"I love you Christian" I kiss him deeply. "So much."
Our kiss is more passionate than ever, both of us clearly overwhelmed with emotions. I think we both overreacted yesterday, but I need to remember Christian has a difficult time believing that I won't leave him. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I'd bet my entire bank account on the reason for this is because his mother abandoned him and failed to protect him when he was being abused. He hasn't told me much about it, but I can tell a lot from the nightmares I have seen. I'm glad I shared my fears that he will one day want a better sub; I know I'm not a perfect sub. When I was observing scenes before Christian and I found each other again, I saw so many subs not making a sound when they were in the playroom unless the dominant told them to. I've never been able to do that; I'm too vocal I guess. Deep down I've always worried that Christian will want a sub like one that I saw in the clubs. Or that he will decide he doesn't want the stress of a full relationship but only wants a sub. I don't think I could ever be just a sub with him; I could never be satisfied just having him in the playroom. Our time outside the playroom is so intense, so full of emotion that I know I would instantly miss it.
"Christian…I need you" I moan feeling his erection against my sex.
"I got you, I'll take care of you" he whispers, nipping my ear.
He rolls me on top of him, quickly pulling my shirt off and taking my nipple in his mouth. I moan as he alternates between sucking on one nipple while pinching the other. I feel his erection against my underwear clad sex and shameless grind myself against him causing him to moan.
"I want you" he moans thrusting his hips up.
"I'm yours…take me" I kiss him deeply, my tongue following the outline of his lips.
I slide down his body pulling his underwear off as I move down. As I toss them onto the floor, I take my own off and climb back on top of him before taking his erection deep in my throat. He gasps loudly in surprise and gently places his hand on my head. He lets me set the pace as he lays on the bed enjoying the pleasure. I find myself getting wetter with every moan, knowing that I am bringing him so much pleasure turns me on even more.
"I need you" he moans pulling me back to his lips.
His lips immediately find mine; he kisses me deeply, his tongue exploring my lip as he nips on them. His hands are grasping my ass, pushing me against him. I lift myself slightly which positions him at my opening and he groans as he slowly pulls me down to him.
"Ahhhhhhh" I moan as he thrusts himself deeper inside of me.
His hands gently move me against him, moving me up and down against his hard erection. I run my fingers through his hair, pulling his mouth to mine as I thrust my tongue inside of him. The pace is slow and almost torturous as the orgasm builds but remains just out of reach.
"Baby…" I beg.
"Hmmm?" He moans, as he continues to move me against him.
"I'm so close….harder, faster please" I beg.
"No, baby….I need this slow" He says.
Moaning in disappointment, I try to move myself against him harder or deeper desperately needing to find a release. He must sense what I'm trying to do because he surprises me by rolling us over so he is now on top of me. He holds my hands in his, leaning down and kissing me passionately as he continues to move in and out of me slowly. He pulls nearly all the way out before slowly pushing himself into me. I'm on the edge, my body is on fire with desire as I desperately need to find a release. He continues his slow thrusts in and out of me, keeping me on the edge longer. His breathing increases as he swells inside of me; I know he is getting close to his own release. He doesn't increase the pace, but starts thrusting in me deeper so he applies just enough pressure to my clit every time he enters me.
"Oh God!" I cry out as the orgasm finally hits.
"ANA!" Christian screams as he finds his release deep inside of me.
He continues to thrust slowly in and out of me, prolonging my orgasm as he kisses me deeply. Christian gently moves so we are both lying on our sides, never breaking our connection. I run my hands up and down his back, enjoying the fact that I can touch him without worrying that I am bringing him pain. Ever since he told me that it doesn't bother him when I touch his back and his chest I can't seem to get enough of touching him. There is something about knowing that I'm the only one who can do this that makes me feel so much closer to him.
"Ana?" Christian pulls me from my thoughts a few moments later.
"Hmmmm?" I ask.
"Are you still coming to Taiwan with me?" Christian's voice is cautious as he asks.
"Yes" I say without hesitation.
"Are you sure?" he clarifies.
"Yes Christian" I kiss him. "I'm looking forward to some time away from everything here."
"I have some paperwork that you need to sign upstairs that I need to fax over before we leave" he explains.
"Paperwork?" I ask confused.
"For the club, we need to purchase memberships" he says. "I have all the paperwork completed but you need to sign saying that you reviewed the rules and understand them."
"Oh, sure" I smile thinking of returning to the place we first met. "How much do I owe you for my membership?"
"Nothing" he says firmly.
"Christian, you already paid for the flight and hotel, I can't let you pay for the membership as well" I point out.
"They offer a couple membership for established dom/subs but it has to be purchased as a package so it's all taken care of" he says.
"You're frustrating" I sigh.
"I know" he laughs.
"I need to pack a few things, then I can meet you upstairs?" I suggest.
"I have two outfits packed for you to wear to the club, so just pack what you need while we're in the hotel" he replies.
"You have outfits packed for me?" I ask surprised.
"Yes," he says. "Now go back your clothes and meet me upstairs."
"Ow!" he playfully smacks my ass before getting dressed. "Yes sir."
"We need to leave for the airport in two hours" he says leaving my room.
"SHIT" I exclaim rushing to get out of bed.
I quickly run back to my bedroom and take a fast shower before throwing on a comfortable pair of jeans and a shirt. It's going to be a very long flight so I want to be sure to be comfortable. I throw a couple changes of clothes into a small suitcase, packing both casual and dressy clothes not knowing if Christian is going to want to go out while we're in Taiwan. I find myself wondering about the outfits he packed for me for the club; the thought that he picked out something specifically for this occasion is oddly arousing to me.
"Christian?" I call as I enter his penthouse a few moments later.
"In my office" he calls.
I walk into his office, leaving my bag in the foyer, where Christian hands me the paperwork I need to review and sign. He has completed all the necessary information so as he said all I needed to do was sign. I read through the rules which are pretty much exactly how I remember them from the last time I was there; though I find myself understanding a great deal more than I did then. There is an entire separate list of rules specifically for submissive which is quite extensive.
"This is some list of rules" I say surprised.
"I thought the same thing" he agrees. "Madame Serene explained that when we were there it was an introductory special for new members therefore they didn't uphold all the typical rules. Since this weekend isn't an introductory weekend it is expected that only members will be in attendance. Their regular members require all doms and subs to act according to these rules. I have my own list of rules to follow as well. If you don't like this, we don't have to go-"
"No, it's fine. I'm just glad this is not what you want from me full time" I interrupt.
I read through the rules for the evening as Christian also provides me a copy of the doms rules which are much shorter than the subs:
Submissive Rules:
1. Submissive will not speak until directed by her dominant (if she is currently involved) or another dominant.
2. Submissive shall not consume any food or beverage that is not provided by a dominant.
3. Submissive's eyes shall remain downcast at all times unless directed by a dominant.
4. Submissive shall have established safe words prior to entering the club.
5. Submissive shall not appear drunk at any time.
6. Submissive shall not approach any dominant unless directed by a dominant.
7. If involved with a dominant, submissive shall remain at his side at all times unless he directs otherwise.
8. Submissive shall abide by all rules established by a dominant unless they breach her soft or hard limits at which time she is expected to bring this to the dominant's attention.
9. Submissive shall not try to top from the bottom or punishment will immediately be delivered.
Dominant Rules:
1. Dominant shall remain with chosen submissive at all times.
2. Dominant assumes all responsibility for chosen submissive.
3. Dominant shall insure that all submissive's needs are met including those for food, water and toileting.
4. Dominant shall cover all costs associated with chosen submissive at the club including but not limited to food, beverages, toys, clothing and accessories.
5. Dominant shall not engage in a scene if intoxicated.
6. Dominant must adhere to any safeword given by a submissive.
7. Dominant shall review and agree to soft/hard limits before beginning a scene.
"Ana?" Christian asks after some time.
"Here" I sign my name and return the paperwork to Christian.
"We don't have to go" he repeats.
"No, it's okay" I sigh. "Most of the rules are those that I read online that are typically in place for dom/sub arrangements so it's nothing new."
Christian faxes over the paperwork before we head to the garage to his SUV where he loads are bags. The trip to the airport takes longer than expected as we hit some traffic but we arrive in plenty of time to check in. I don't know why I'm surprised but in true Christian fashion, he has booked up in first class so we are ushered through the security check in and into a reserved waiting area before we board the plane.