Chapter 9

Killer was happy Bonney still wanted to go to the Hawkins Pirates with him. It meant they honestly had a chance to stay friends. Besides, he didn't feel like trying to find someone else to go with him, and going alone wasn't as much fun.

They sung along – for as far as you could call it singing – and danced to the music, and both Bonney and Killer were already exhausted when the band took a break. They sat down on the stools at the bar, getting some breath back. Bonney immediately ordered something to eat.

She sighed. "You know, Basil Hawkins is pretty handsome."

Killer raised his eyebrows, invisible for anyone who didn't stare intensely through his bangs. He hadn't expected her to be so open with him about things like this. Especially since they broke up only a week ago. "I guess he's not bad looking, no." He wasn't Killer's type, but he could see the lead singer's appeal.

"And his hair is so pretty!" Bonney smirked at him. "I guess I have a thing for guys with long blond hair."

Killer chuckled. "Apparently."

She looked at Basil, who was ordering a beer at the other side of the bar. "Do you think I'd stand a chance with him?"

Killer shrugged. "I don't know, he is a little older…"

"Yeah, but only three years," she said almost indignantly. "And some guys like younger girls."

"That's true." Killer leaned back. "Well, if that's the case, and he isn't gay, he'll probably like you. You're really attractive. I don't see a reason why he wouldn't like you."

"Thank you!" she said, but she seemed to be bothered by something. "But then why did you break up with me? If there's no reason to not like me."

"I…" Killer tried to come up with a good point, but really couldn't find any. Except for the truth, of course. "It just didn't work between us."

"Let me get this straight," Bonney narrowed her eyes. "You think I'm very attractive, and you want to be friends with me, so you must like my inner self as well. Still, you don't think we worked? But I do stand a chance with Basil, unless he thinks I'm too young or he's gay?" It only took two seconds before her eyes widened in realization.

Oh fuck, Killer thought. No, no, no.

"Oh my god," Bonney said.

Killer panicked. This was not happening. She did not just figure him out. She couldn't. He tried to think of anything to say to make her change her thoughts.

"Oh my god," she said again. "You're…"

"No!" was the only thing to say – or rather exclaim – that Killer could think of, and he closed his eyes, because even he wouldn't believe it.

"Does anyone know?" Bonney asked.

Killer stared at his hands, his body stiffened. He'd just given away his biggest secret. Well, technically he hadn't confirmed it, but he felt like there was really no point in denying it anymore. She probably wouldn't believe him. "No," he said quietly.

"What, not even Heat and Wire?" Bonney asked, a little confused. "They don't seem the type to judge you."

"No, nobody knows, and I'd like to keep it that way." Killer looked her in the eyes to emphasize his words.

"So, you just want to keep pretending to be straight for the rest of your life."

Killer shrugged. "Maybe. Or until people will stop looking at gay people as something different."

She nodded. "I get it, I guess." Then she smiled. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

When she said that, Killer felt she meant it, and a weight lifted off his shoulders. "Thank you." He grinned. "That means I won't have to kill you."

Bonney snorted, but then she fell silent. She seemed to want to tell something, but hesitated.

Killer didn't want to push, but at the same time he wanted to let her know she could tell him everything. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Well, you just found out my biggest one, so I guess it's not really my strongest suit," he said in all honesty. "Still, I've kept it for a quite a while, so…"

"I'm bi," she said. At that moment her snacks arrived, and she dug in immediately.

"Lucky you," Killer said, and only then realized it sounded kind of insensitive. "I mean, it's easier to pretend you're straight if you already feel attracted to the opposite sex. Of course, it would be better if you could just openly be who you want to be."

"True," she said with a mouth full of food. "You're the only one who knows this too, by the way. So, don't tell anyone. Especially Perona."

"She's your best friend…" Killer said. If anyone would understand it, it was her best friend, right?

"Right, but there was a period that I felt more than friendship for her," Bonney admitted, already putting the last snack into her mouth. "I'm over that now, though."

Killer nodded understandingly. Of course, he would never tell her secret to anyone. He would be the biggest bastard in the world if he did. Besides, if he told hers, she'd probably tell his.

"So… anyone you like?" She asked when she swallowed the last bit of food.

Within a second, the image of Penguin flashed before his eyes. No, he didn't like him that much. Not enough to tell Bonney about him. He wasn't ready to admit that, yet. "No, no one."

Bonney looked disbelieving at him, but then chuckled. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me." She turned towards the band members again. "So, now you can be completely honest with me, how handsome do you think Basil really is?"

Killer shook his head. "My answer is still the same. He doesn't look bad."

She grinned. "But not your type?"

"Nope, he's all yours."

"Good, I'll go talk to him after the second part then." Bonney turned towards the bartender. "Can I have another serving?"

During math, Heat sat next to Killer, successfully distracting him most of the time from the fact that Penguin sat on the other side of the aisle. Still, Killer couldn't help himself, and stole a few glances in Penguin's direction anyway. Both times he noticed Penguin looking back at him.

It made Killer nervous. Why was Penguin looking at him? Did he know something? He couldn't know something, could he? No, how could he? Unless… Killer got his phone out of his pocket and placed it carefully underneath his notebook, making sure Ms. Tashigi didn't catch him. He opened WhatsApp and selected his chat with Bonney.

You didn't tell anyone, right? he texted her. In a way, it was such a relief someone knew his secret and he could finally be himself with someone, but it also came with a lot of extra stress. Now he was not the only one who could say or do something that would out him. He had no control over what Bonney did.

Within a few seconds he got a response. Of course not.

U sure? he send back, checking quickly if Tashigi wasn't on to him. If she caught him on his phone, she would surely take it from him.

YES, was the answer he got.

Not even Perona?

He got an annoyed emoji in return. NO. Jeez, you can trust me.

Srry, just needed to make sure. He put down his phone as soon as he had send the message. And not a second too soon, because Heat leaned towards him.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing." Killer shrugged. "Bonney texted me."

"Yeah? What's she want?" Heat grinned at him. "Is she missing the action?"

Killer gave him a deadpanned look. "No, Heat, it might be hard for you to understand, but we're really just friends."

"… With benefits?" his friend continued.

"Just because you can't maintain normal friendships with girls, doesn't mean I can't."

Heat huffed. "I can be friends with girls… There just haven't been girls on my path who were just friend material. And honestly, with a body like Bonney's… it would be hard to be just that."

"You seriously need to get laid," Killer said, shaking his head. "Or help yourself, or whatever. And, you know, if she wasn't crushing on Basil Hawkins right now, I'd say you should give it a shot with Bonney. Don't let me stop you."

"You mean that?"

"Yes, Heat." Killer looked away from his friend, already getting tired of the conversation, and distracted by the person on his other side again. "I mean it." Penguin was still looking at him, and Killer quickly turned his head towards the teacher, so he wouldn't have to maintain eye-contact.

They were silent for a while, and Killer actually tried to follow Tashigi's explanation. But after short time, Heat nudged him in his shoulder. "Have you noticed? Penguin is staring an awful lot at you. Or us, I'm not sure."

Killer felt obliged to look at Penguin, but made sure it was a quick look, after which he looked at the blackboard again. Penguin was indeed still – or again – looking at him. "Hadn't noticed," he lied to his friend. "Why is he looking at us?"

"Beats me," answered Heat. "He's got a kind of dreamy look on his face, though. Maybe he's just daydreaming and accidentally staring at us."

Killer raised his eyebrows at that. "Probably," he said, but couldn't help turning his head towards Penguin again, to see if Heat was right about the dreamy look.

Their eyes met, and Killer's heart started to beat a little faster. He couldn't really say Penguin was looking dreamy. At least not in the way Heat had meant it. But Killer somehow couldn't look away, so, instead, he raised his eyebrows again as if to ask why the hell Penguin was looking at him. He only got a sly smile in return, but it was obviously a reaction to Killer's questioning face, so Penguin wasn't just staring through him.

Killer was starting to get nervous. "What do you want?" he hissed.

"Who says I want anything?" Penguin answered quietly, without looking away.

Killer stared at Penguin's lips as they moved. If he could just kiss them, maybe the feeling would go away. Maybe he just had to do that, and Penguin wouldn't bother him anymore. Unfortunately, that was exactly what he couldn't do. Killer licked his own dry lips. "Then stop staring at me."

Penguin shrugged, but Killer saw him getting red. "I can look at whatever I want."

"I'm sorry?!" Killer said, a little hurt Penguin had referred to him as a 'what'. "I'm not a thing."

"Killer," Ms. Tashigi said, warning him to keep quiet.

Killer turned his head towards her and sighed. When the teacher wasn't looking his way anymore, he send a last, annoyed glance at Penguin, who was, of course, still staring at him.

After five minutes of silence, Heat started to whisper again. "Okay, now he's really starting to freak me out. He's still staring."

Killer didn't dare looking up to see if his friend was right. He believed him right away. "Just ignore him," he said, more to himself than to Heat.

"It's almost as if he's in love with one of us, or something," Heat said, turning his head away from Penguin.

Killer froze, while his heart started pounding in his chest. That couldn't be it. That just couldn't be. Heat should really stop putting that kind of thoughts in his head.

Killer sighed relieved when the bell rang. He tried his hardest to avoid looking at Penguin while he packed his back, but when he and Heat walked out of the classroom, he couldn't help but follow Heat's gaze. Right behind them walked Penguin, who smiled at Killer when they locked eyes.

Killer didn't know what to do, so he started to yell at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Why the fuck do you keep staring at me?"

Penguin's smile disappeared, and he scoffed. "No need to yell. And are you really that self-centered to think I would only have eyes for you?"

"Wha–" Killer felt his face become red. "I am not thinking anything, asshole!"

"Obviously," mumbled Penguin.

"I saw you looking! Don't pretend you didn't!" Without thinking, Killer had forced Penguin against the wall of hallway, and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

"Killer…" Heat said his name soothingly. It didn't work.

"He was staring at us, wasn't he, Heat?" Killer asked for back-up, partly so his violence would be justified in the eyes of the group of students that had begun to gather around them.

"Well, yeah, he was." Heat sounded as if he wanted to say more, but he shut his mouth after that.

"You're delusional," Penguin said, but those intruding eyes were still looking directly into Killer's. Then Penguin gave Killer a hard push, to try to get him away from him. It didn't have much of an effect.

"Killer, Penguin, stop this immediately!" Ms. Tashigi had come out of the classroom and tried to get to them.

"And even if," Penguin said, ignoring the teacher. "What if I was looking at you? What is it to you?" He tried to push Killer away again, this time succeeding.

However, that resulted in an immediately pushing back from Killer. "You bastard, you've got no reason to stare at me like that!"

The air was pushed out of Penguin's lungs when his back hit the wall with great impact. Apparently, that was the sign for Penguin to stop arguing and start fighting. He jumped towards Killer, pushing and pulling at him, hitting him, but without actually hurting him.

Tashigi had reached the boys and grabbed their shoulders, but she was no match for two teenage boys who only had eyes and fists for each other. Fortunately for her, the fight had attracted the attention of two other teachers, and after a while, the three of them finally managed to tear the boys away from each other.

"That's enough," Tashigi said, her eyes furiously. "If it were my decision, you'd be suspended for a week. At least." She took a deep breath and pushed her glasses a bit firmer up her nose. "You can only hope principal Shakky will think differently."

TBC...

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