Chapter 35

Penguin stared at his phone. Had he heard that right? Did Killer actually just say he loved him?

Penguin's heart was beating loudly, but for minutes he could only stare at the dark screen of his phone. He hadn't imagined it, right? Killer actually said those words… but he had hung up right afterwards.

Penguin was a little confused. Killer had said, 'I love you,' but he hadn't given Penguin any time to react to that. He hadn't given him time to say it back…

Penguin unlocked his phone again and called Killer again. He had to know if he had heard it right. And if he had… he had to let Killer know he loved him too! Because he did, right?

Penguin wasn't sure. How did you know you loved someone? He wanted to be with Killer, like, all the time, and he'd be heartbroken if Killer would leave him – the thought itself made Penguin's heart ache – but did that mean he loved Killer? Penguin didn't know, but he knew he wanted to let Killer know how much he meant to him, how much he wanted to be with him, how much he… Yeah, he probably did love him. He had to tell Killer.

The call went unanswered for a few moments, and then it was broken off. Penguin tried again, and this time the call was declined after only two seconds.

He sighed. Why did Killer not want to talk to him anymore? Was he afraid Penguin didn't love him back? Was he ashamed that he said it? Did he regret saying it? Shit, what if Killer didn't mean it?

Penguin had to restrain himself from running out immediately, and all the way to Killer's house to ask him in person. But he needed answers. So, he called again, and again the call went unanswered.

Penguin was getting frustrated, when he realized Killer's dad might have already taken his phone away from him. He had said he would only do that tomorrow, but Kid might have changed his mind. Or maybe something else happened. Anyway, Penguin had promised not to call Killer, so he should probably stop.

Penguin sighed. He could always text him… No, this wasn't something to be said in a text. He would have to be patient. Killer had promised to send him a text every day at least, and he would try to sneak out, so Penguin would talk to him about it again when he saw him in person, or if Killer decided to call him after all. However hard it was, Penguin accepted that, and didn't call Killer anymore.

Still, the words kept echoing through his head. Killer had actually said he loved him…

The next morning, Killer stayed in bed as long as possible. He was still overthinking his conversation with Penguin, or rather, the way he had ended the conversation. Penguin had tried to call him back several times, but Killer hadn't had the courage to face him again. He had said it too casually. He hadn't meant to say it, it just happened. That wasn't to say he didn't mean what he said, though. He just hadn't wanted to say it like that, at the end of a phone call. Killer had wanted to tell him in person, one day, when he felt a little more confident that Penguin would feel the same way.

Sure, he got the feeling that Penguin liked him very much, but… that much? He couldn't imagine Penguin liked him as much, loved him as much as Killer loved him. He was afraid he would be just a boyfriend to Penguin, the first of many to come. And Killer was realistic, he knew that the chance they'd stay together their whole life was very slim, and he really didn't even want to think that far ahead, but the way he felt about Penguin now… he knew it was too much. They had only been together for a few weeks, after all.

Shit. He pulled at his hair. There was no way Penguin would feel the same about him. Not in such a short amount of time. But now he had said it, and he wasn't ready to face the consequences. What if Penguin was repulsed by it? What if the words had scared him and he wanted to break up? What if he would ask Killer if he really meant those words? What would Killer say then? He couldn't deny it, but he could also not confirm it, could he? Not out loud, at least. No, he couldn't talk to Penguin. He wouldn't know what to say.

There was a knock on his door, and a second later, his father came in. "You still in bed?" He sounded disapproving.

"Well, it's not like I can go anywhere today," Killer answered, making no attempt to get out of bed, even though it was already past ten.

"Just because you're grounded, doesn't mean you can stay in bed all day. If you're looking for things to do, start cleaning up the house or something," Kid said. "There's enough chores to do."

Killer huffed. He'd rather stay in bed all day and read a book or something.

"Anyway, you've had your chance to reach out to your friends." Kid held up his hand. "Gimme your phone."

Killer scowled as he picked up his phone and checked to see if he had any new messages. Nothing. He turned off the device just to make sure his father wouldn't see any incoming messages or phone calls. Grumbling, he got out of bed, and placed the phone in his dad's hand.

"Good." Kid put the phone in the pocket of his pants and held out his other hand. "Your keys too."

"What? Why do you need those?" Killer protested. If he hadn't had his keys, he couldn't sneak out… not without leaving the door open for burglars, at least.

"The more important question is: why would you need them?" Kid looked him in the eyes.

Killer glared back, noticing a little victoriously how he had become almost as tall as his father. "I'm not going anywhere, so it's just not necessary to take them away."

"Killer," his father spoke in his no-bullshit voice. "Hand over your keys. You're not as tough looking as you think, standing here in just your underwear."

Killer rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said, gritting his teeth. He turned and crouched down to reach the pants he had been wearing the day before, and retrieved his keys from it. "I didn't know this was a prison."

Kid took the keys from his hand. "This week it is. Suck it up."

Fortunately for Penguin, Shachi was there on Saturday to keep him company, and to take his mind off Killer's words. He hadn't told his friend about it, of course, that felt too private. Besides, he didn't even know for sure if Killer had meant them.

They were just chatting in the living room when Law came back from his walk with Bepo. The dog immediately trotted into the living room and greeted the two of them happily.

"Heeey!" Shachi opened his arms wide when he saw Bepo. "Who's my favorite polar bear?" The dog jumped up to him, and Shachi wrapped his arms around him, half disappearing into the long white fur. "You are! Yes, you are!" He laughed when Bepo barked enthusiastically.

Behind them, they heard Law chuckle. "If I had known you'd come, I would have let you take Bepo for a walk."

Shachi let go of Bepo and turned around. "Hi Law."

"Hi Shachi," Law greeted him back, while walking around the couch to face them. "New shirt?"

"Yes!" Shachi smiled, and Penguin felt a little guilty that he hadn't noticed it until now. I wasn't often that Shachi wore blue, after all.

"Nice. Looks good on you," Law complimented him. He picked up some papers from the coffee table.

"Thanks." Shachi turned to Penguin. "It's nice to have a gay dad who notices these things."

"Hey," said Law in a warning tone. "No stereotypes in this house." Then the corner of his lips curled up into a small smirk. "But it is like I always say… if you find a good top, don't let him go." He winked at Shachi.

"Dad!" Penguin exclaimed in embarrassment.

But Shachi looked confused from Penguin to his father and back, which made Penguin grin in turn. "Haha!" he laughed in his father's face. "Shachi is too straight to get your stupid jokes."

"Oh!" Shachi said, as it finally seemed to dawn on him what Law had meant. Then he snorted.

"See?" Law said to his son, while nodding towards Shachi. "He gets it."

Penguin rolled his eyes. "Well, if you don't want gay stereotypes in this house, maybe you shouldn't make gay jokes."

Law scoffed. "Well, you know what they say…"

Penguin gave him his most unamused look. He just knew his father was going to say something stupid again. "No, I don't."

Law cocked his head and looked too serious for what came out of his mouth next. "A little gay goes a long way."

"No one ever says that!" Penguin protested.

Law smirked. "It's our house motto now."

"Since when?!"

"Since now, I'm telling you," Law kept going, but he slowly walked towards the hallway again.

"Fine, go write it on the front of the house then," Penguin said challenging.

"You know I'll do it!" Law said, as left the room and let the two friends alone.

Penguin sighed, because he knew his dad could actually do it.

Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Law joined them again, this time a glass of juice in his hand.

Shachi seemed to grab the first opportunity he had to try and get some new gossip. "So… I heard you were on Grindr. Saw the picture even."

Penguin let his head fall to his chest. Shachi had already texted him about it, the evening before. Penguin couldn't believe how fast that photo had spread. Shachi hadn't even been at school anymore when Drake found that picture, but apparently it got send to almost everyone at school by now.

Law looked disapproving, and sighed. "I'm glad I talked to Principal Shakky about it. If not, some of the parents would probably have accused me of being a pedophile by now. Believe me when I say I didn't send that picture to anyone at your school."

"Oh, I believe you," Shachi answered. "Penguin told me what happened. The girls are going crazy over that photo though."

Law shook his head. "They do know I'm gay, right? And, again, not into sixteen-year-olds."

"Oh, they know. I believe it only adds to their excitement, though," Shachi explained. "The gay thing, that is."

Both Penguin and his dad looked at him uncomfortably. "They… like that he's gay?" Penguin asked. "Like, you mean, they like it in a… sexual way?"

Shachi shrugged. "I think they like the idea of two guys going at it?"

"That's kinda icky," Law commented.

Shachi shrugged again. "I mean, is it very different from guys watching lesbian porn?" He let his eyes wander from Penguin to his father, coloring slightly red. "Not that I'm doing that, of course."

"Of course…" Law said with slight amusement.

"Anyway," Shachi quickly changed the subject. "It was a good pic, I mean, even I could see that. So, did you find a good top yet?" He smirked.

"Shachi!" Sometimes Penguin wondered how Shachi could feel so at home with Law. They almost seemed like friends, and could team up together to embarrass Penguin, when they wanted to.

Law smirked and shrugged. "Maybe I have, maybe I haven't."

"Oooh," Shachi said, interest obviously piqued. He pushed his shades down his nose. "Who is it?"

Law raised his eyebrows and looked surprised at his son. "Penguin didn't tell you?"

"Of course I didn't tell him!" Penguin exclaimed. "It's fucking disgusting and embarrassing!"

"Oh, now I really wanna know." Shachi looked at Law. "Who is it?"

"Eustass Kid," Law answered with a smirk.

Shachi's eyes widened. "Wait, Killer's dad?!" He looked at Penguin, and then back at Law, a grin forming on his face. "Juicy…" He laughed for a few seconds, but then his head snapped back to Penguin. "Wait, does that mean Killer is your stepbrother?" he asked, amused.

Penguin looked at his friend in horror. He hadn't even thought about it like that. "No," he said, sounding resolute. "Definitely not."

"No…" Law agreed, looking amused at the two of them. "But you could say Kid is his father in-Law."

Shachi burst out laughing, while Penguin's face became redder than he'd thought possible. "Ewww, gross! Stop it!" He glared at his father. "I thought we agreed we not to talk about your relationship with Kid."

Law frowned. "Relationship?" he repeated disapprovingly. He shook his head. "It's just casual sex."

Shachi couldn't stop laughing. "Juicy!" he said again. "Law is having casual sex with Killer's dad… Now that's a story."

"Please," Penguin said with his face buried in his hands. Why did they have to be like this? "Don't go telling this at school."

"It might be better if you don't," Law agreed. "With that photo of me going around already, I don't think it's a good idea to start telling people about my sex life as well."

Shachi chuckled some more. "That's too bad." He shook his head. "My lips are sealed, don't worry. I'll add it to my pile of secrets to keep."

Later that day Penguin saw he had a message from Killer on Discord. 'My phone has officially been taken away,' it said. 'As are my keys. And apparently my dad locks the door whenever he leaves the house, even when he's just going out for groceries. So I'm not sure how I'm gonna get out of the house. 😟 But at least I still got my laptop…'

Penguin read the message over and over. Not a word of it was referring to what Killer had said yesterday. He talked as if it had never happened. Was that what Killer wanted? To pretend it never happened? Penguin was a little disappointed by that, but decided not to jump to conclusions too fast. At least Killer was talking to him again, and not ignoring him, as Penguin had feared when he didn't answer his calls.

'Shit…' he sent back. And then he didn't know what to say. I love you. The words kept echoing through his mind. He wanted to talk about it, but he didn't want to do it over texts. And Killer had specifically asked him not to call him, so he wouldn't. 'That sucks… 😢' he added when Killer didn't immediately respond. He searched for a good GIF of a hug, but most GIFs were either the wrong kind of hug, or one of the people in the GIF was a girl, which didn't feel right either. After scrolling down and almost giving up finding a good GIF, he stopped and stared at the one he found. Oh my
God, this was perfect. Why had he never come across this GIF before? For once he was happy to be named after an animal.

He sent the GIF immediately. It was a drawn GIF of a cute penguin, which was being catapulted towards the person looking at it in a hugging motion. At the end, a little heart appeared above its head, and the text in the GIF said, 'Sending a penguin hug!'

It took a minute before Killer responded. 'That's adorable 😂 From now on, you're only allowed to use penguin gifs.'

Penguin smiled, and sent him another GIF by the same artist, this one was a penguin sending 'penguin kisses'.

'Somehow I don't get cute gifs when I search with my name…' Killer sent back.

Penguin chuckled. 'Surprising.'

'Thanks for brightening my day though 😘'

They talked about their day for a while, and the next day they chatted as well. They probably talked more then they usually did when they were together, since there was no option of doing other things right now. They talked a lot, but they didn't talk about the elephant in the room, and Penguin almost began to doubt he had heard the words right to begin with. What if that hadn't been what Killer had said? He was pretty sure it was, but he could be wrong.

Penguin sighed and decided to push it aside for now. If Killer actually had said it and he meant it, he would probably say it again some time.

That Sunday Penguin posted another video on TikTok. He had gone two days without posting, but he couldn't hold back anymore, even if it meant he only had one more video left. Penguin was thinking of a plan to get more, and to visit Killer as well. Maybe… maybe Kid would let him in to work on their biology project again? If it was for school, he couldn't oppose it, could he? Penguin would just have to try it.

"You did like Killer's newest video, did you?" Penguin asked Shachi the next morning in their first break. He had made his friend follow the TikTok account on Friday, and surprisingly, Shachi had done it without complaining.

"Yeah, yeah," Shachi confirmed. "I gave it a like, and honestly, I actually liked it too." He shrugged. "He is pretty good, you didn't lie."

"Of course I didn't lie!" Penguin defended himself. "Why would you think–" he started, but he was interrupted by someone behind him.

"Penguin…" His name was spoken with restrained anger clear in the speaker's voice.

When Penguin turned around, he saw Drake standing a few feet away. He looked tired and angry, and had a poorly concealed bruise beneath his eye.

Penguin raised an eyebrow. "What happened you?"

Drake gritted his teeth. "Outside. Now."

Penguin looked at him for a few seconds, wondering what this was about. Though, he did have a feeling why Drake could be angry with him.

He exchanged a look with Shachi. "If I'm not back before the bell, you know who murdered me," he said quietly, while getting up from his chair.

"You don't have to go with him," Shachi said.

But Penguin got up anyway, and followed Drake outside. It might be better if they talked about things. Besides, he was used to fighting with Killer; he could handle Drake.

Once they were in a quiet corner, Drake pushed him against the wall. "Why the hell did you tell your dad?"

There it was. Penguin had known it was about his dad. Law had gone and talked to Shakky about the Grindr picture, after all, and she had promised to talk to Drake. Penguin should have known that wouldn't be the last he heard of it.

He shrugged. "I was going to blame him for everything, but then he made me realize it was all your fault, anyway." That wasn't exactly how it had gone, of course, but it was close enough. "He made a compelling argument."

"You told him my fucking name!" Drake scowled at him.

Penguin couldn't help but look challenging at him. "You wanted to know if he was interested in you, didn't you? Now you've got your answer."

"I was just joking about that, you idiot!" Drake hissed. "He didn't have to go to the principal!"

"I guess you had to talk to her?" Penguin felt a little victorious. Served him right.

"Yeah…" Drake gritted his teeth. "With my parents."

"Boohoo." Penguin rolled his eyes. "Been there, done that. You shouldn't have spread that picture. Or be on Grindr in the first place. But I guess Shakky talked to you about that."

Drake's eyes shot fire. "You really don't get it, do you?" He placed his fist on the wall next to Penguin's head. "Shakky told my parents exactly what your dad had told her. Which was more or less what happened, but…"

Penguin looked into his eyes, intrigued by what he wanted to say. "But what?"

"But my parents… didn't know I'm…" He met Penguin's stare, but seemed to calm down a little. Well, calmed down was probably not the right description. Defeated was more like it. "They didn't know I'm gay. Until Shakky more or less told them."

"Oh." Penguin was taken aback a little. He hadn't expected that. Drake didn't hide his sexuality at school, so Penguin had expected him to be out at home too. "Shit, I'm sorry."

Drake looked quietly at him for a few seconds. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"Of course," Penguin answered honestly. "I never meant for that to happen. I didn't know your parents were unaware of that." He suddenly realized how close Drake was standing to him, despite the fact that he didn't seem angry anymore. But Penguin didn't feel like this was the moment to say anything about that. "How did they take it?"

Drake sighed. "How do you think? Not everyone's dad is gay."

Penguin's eyes went to the bruise on Drake's cheekbone. They wouldn't… He brought his hand up and let his fingers brush over the dark spot on Drake's face. "Did they do this to you?"

Drake grabbed his hand and pulled it away just far enough that Penguin couldn't touch his face anymore. However, he didn't let go of his hand when the touch was gone. He stared into Penguin's eyes, but didn't answer his question. Penguin looked back at him expectantly.

Then Drake leaned in, and before Penguin realized what was happening, Drake had pressed his lips on his. Flabbergasted, Penguin let it happen.

Seconds ticked away, and Penguin's heart started racing, before his brain caught up with the situation. He roughly pushed Drake back. "What the hell are you doing?"

Drake looked flustered at him. "I… I'm sorry." His face kept getting redder and redder. "I don't know why I did that. I don't even like you."

Penguin stared at him, thoroughly confused. "Then why the hell did you kiss me?!"

Drake didn't seem to know what to say. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. "It's just… I guess… You're the only other openly queer guy from our year…" He averted his eyes. "I got caught up in the moment, I guess."

Penguin stared at him. He could still feel Drake's lips on his own, so very differently from the way Killer's lips felt. "Just because we're the only two openly queer guys from our year, you thought you could kiss me?"

"Well…" Drake was still red, and looked ready to run away at any moment. "I kinda just wanted to know what it was like, kissing a guy. I've never kissed anyone. And since you're the only guy I know that likes guys too… And you suddenly seemed to care about me…" He swallowed hard. "I guess I misread the signals."

"Yeah, you did." Penguin crossed his arms over his chest. "No offense, Drake, but I care about you as I care about any human being. I hope your parents don't abuse you, or give you shit in any way for being gay. But I don't like you." He took a deep breath. "I like Killer, if that wasn't clear enough."

Drake stared at the ground. "Yeah… Me too."

Penguin shook his head. God, he wanted to tell Drake so badly. But he wouldn't do that to Killer. It was Killer's secret to tell, not his, but Penguin really hoped Drake would move on. "Just find someone else to crush on, man. He really isn't interested."

Drake threw him an unamused glare. "Not until I hear it from his own mouth."

Penguin shrugged. "Then ask him when he gets back to school next week."

Drake huffed. "Only if you do it too."

"You first," Penguin threw back. At that moment the bell rang to signal the end of their break.

Drake shrugged. "Fine. If he's interested in me, I guess you won't have to ask anymore." He was quiet for a moment. "So, he really got suspended, didn't he?" Drake asked.

"That's what I heard…" Penguin tried to make it sound as casual as possible. As if he'd heard it through the grapevine, and not straight from the source.

He started walking back to the entrance, and Drake followed him, making Penguin realize they both had math next.

"Penguin," Drake said after a little while, and he started walking next to him. "Can we… forget about what just happened?"

Penguin looked at him from the corner of his eyes. He doubted that he could forget Drake had kissed him. "I don't know if I can," he said honestly. "But I'll try. I won't go telling the whole school, though, if that's what you're afraid of."

"Thanks." Drake sighed. "I appreciate that."

"But you didn't answer my earlier question," Penguin reminded him as they walked inside. "If your parents beat you, if it's not safe for you at home now that you're out, there are places you can go for help." He saw Shachi at the same table he'd left him at in the auditorium, and nodded reassuringly at his friend, while continuing his way towards math. He'd talk to him later.

Drake stayed quiet for a few seconds, before shrugging. "It's not that bad…"

Penguin looked worriedly at him. That didn't sound convincing at all… Still, he didn't press. He didn't want to give Drake the wrong impression again. "Just… make sure you get help if you need it, okay?" he said, and when Drake nodded, he left it at that.

TBC~!

I realize it's kind of unprofessional of Shakky to just say things like that to Drake's parents. But she's only human, and she makes mistakes too. She probably didn't realize that he wasn't out to his parents either, or else she would have done things differently... I like to believe she realized her mistake as soon as she saw the reaction of his parents, but by then it was too late...

Anyway, I'd love to read your thoughts on this chapter! ❤