I walked into the kitchen to make breakfast, if Jonathan hadn't gotten to it yet, and nearly ran into my hairbrained mother.
"Oh! Sorry," I said, moving around her.
"That's ok. Have you seen my keys?" She asked, lifting something off the table to look under it.
"Negative," I replied.
She let out a long sigh as she kept looking. "I'm taking Will to that doctor again today, he had another episode."
"What?" I asked, setting down the pan and turning to look at her. "When did that happen?"
"While he was at the arcade," she said, as if this was known knowledge.
"Why didn't he tell me that? He said nothing happened." I was more than a little hurt, knowing that he had lied to me and kept something like this. Did he feel like he couldn't talk to me? I frowned and leaned against the counter, trying to figure out why he would lie.
"Oh. W-Well, I don't know why he did that. But it wasn't any different from his other ones. I don't know, though, I'm still worried. I can't figure out why they keep happening!"
I shook my head and pushed off from the counter. "I don't know, either."
We pulled up to the school and Jonathan turned the car off. Before he could get out, I stopped him.
"Has Will been keeping things from you?"
He gave me a confused look and shrugged. "Not that I know of."
"When I picked him up from the arcade yesterday, he didn't look so hot. So I asked if something happened, and he told me nothing. Then this morning, Mom tells me she's taking him to the doctor's again because he had another episode. Why wouldn't he tell me?"
Jonathan shook his head as if to say he didn't have an answer. "I don't know, Jo. Maybe he was... Embarrassed? Didn't want to stress you out? You've been pretty stressed out ever since..."
I took a deep breath and looked away. He was right, I had been stressed. Stressed about Will being ok, stressed about the attack and the soldiers. Stressed about Eleven...
"Yeah, that's probably it." I opened the door and got out, no longer feeling like talking about it. Jonathan followed and we walked to the high school in silence. It was weird without Will here, but Mom had brought him in early since he had to leave early. Or something like that.
When we got closer, I caught sight of my friend Jenny, and hurried over to her.
"I'll see you after class, Jon!" I called over my shoulder. I reached Jenny and lightly punched her arm to get her attention.
"Hey, what's up loser?" I asked jokingly, with a large smile on my face.
"Nothing much, you jerk," she said with a matching smile. We walked into the building, where one of the kids who ran the school was handing out flyers. She gave one to Jenny and skipped me, but I wasn't bothered. I grabbed the bright orange paper from Jenny's hand and snorted.
"Come and get sheet-faced. You gunna go?"
She rolled her eyes. "Probably not. I'd rather miss the beer kegs and the drunk people and all the noise."
I nodded. "Jon and I are taking Will trick or treating, anyways. So you'd be all by your lonesome, since I know you don't have any other friends."
It was her turn to snort. "Yeah, ok. You're the lone wolf, Johanna." We reached our lockers and popped them open, trading out books and grabbing pencils.
"It's more fun that way. Besides, I can't be alone if I have you and Jonathan."
"Your twin doesn't count. That's just a freebee you got at birth, dipshit."
I hummed. "Ok, I can't argue with that." We laughed and closed our lockers, turning to go our separate ways.
I hummed to myself and tapped my fingers against the ticket counter. It was a slow day today, slower than most Tuesdays. I was bored straight out of my mind. There was always a fine line between the perfect amount of people and too little and too much. And it never seemed to ride the line.
I pulled out my notebook and calculator, intent on doing some math work. The door opened and I rolled my eyes. Of course, as soon as I start something else. I broke off two tickets for the couple and took their money, giving them some change before they walked away and left me all alone again.
It was going to be a long night.
I waited outside for Jonathan to pick me up, my hands deep in my pockets. It was nearing November, and it was starting to get pretty cold. I didn't have to wait long though, thankfully, as I saw his beat up old Ford Galaxie pull around the corner. He parked on the side in front of me, and I quickly hopped in.
"So, I talked to Will..." He started.
"Oh? About what?" I didn't like his tone, it sounded like bad news.
"About why he hasn't been telling us stuff. Apparently, some kids at his school have been calling him zombie boy."
"No!" I gasped. "I'll kick their little pubescent asses!"
Jonathan shook his head. "He said he's sick of the way we all treat him. Like he's a baby; like he'll break or can't take care of himself. And he did tell me that he didn't want to worry you more, because that's all you've been doing lately."
I groaned and let my head drop back against the headrest. Great, now I was making Will feel worse than he probably already did. "Wonderful."
"Maybe... Maybe you should see one of the doctors, too, Jo. If it's still bothering you so much."
I shook my head. "No, no thanks. Besides, it's not that bad. It's only sometimes. When something reminds me."
"Well Will seems to think it's all the time, and it's starting to worry him."
"Ok. I'll pull myself together."
"You know you can talk to us, right? Is it because of-"
"Please don't say her name," I whispered. "I just... I was supposed to protect them, all of them. And I couldn't protect any of them. She's gone because she was protecting us, but she was only a kid."
Jonathan nodded slowly as he pulled away and started driving. "It's not just your fault. It's mine and Nancy's too, then. Because we left you guys all alone."
"No, you weren't there, you don't understand. There was nothing any of us could have done. Not against the soldiers, and definitely not against that monster."
"So then why are you beating yourself up over it, Jo? If you already know there was nothing anyone could have done, why do you keep acting like you should have been able to do something?"
I sighed and rolled my head to the side, watching the town pass outside the window. "I don't know. I haven't thought about it too much."
"Well, maybe you should. It might help."
"Yeah, ok."