The White Dragon Chronicles

by Blackshadow999

An ancient legend that fell into oblivion comes to the light once more. The dragon realm has had a fragile peace for two years after the fall of Malefor. Then A human, Saber mysteriously appears in the dragon realm. When things of history thought lost begin to be seen once more; fear grips many, none can choose how events will turn out in the end.

34. Intelligence Versus What!

Chapter 34: Intelligence Versus What?!

The hardest lessons learned are the ones we tend to remember most, and how a number of life's lessons can come. This is especially true of the ones that come upon us most unexpected-

-Saber's pov-

NARRATOR, would you shut your mouth?! You don't know what you're talking about so stop with your musing! For you readers, ignore the philosophical idiot, the situation he's talking about isn't as he's setting you up to believe I assure you, but let me get to that…

So, I left off with the evening meal that Lara and I had which included the fruit of unknown origin I believe. My logical mind had told me that eating the stuff wasn't a wise idea and honestly it makes sense back at that time and more so after the fact. However, my stomach and a purple dragoness conspired against me and overruled my logical mind at the offer of food last night. I couldn't say where Lara had heard about the stuff we ate, but I would question the source. Anyway, all of this made for a rough awakening the following morning for me and that's putting it mildly.

I felt myself returning to the state of wakefulness though it came to me slowly which is an odd thing for me. To say I was confused would be an understatement, it was so foreign that it was of notice. And when I say slowly, I, of course, mean that I'm normally up and going by which is normally within five to ten minutes ready to start the day. My comparison is horrible old Uncle Douchebag and he ain't a morning person I attest to you. So to feel groggy, sluggish and overall like garbage is distinctly weird and out of place for me. I would compare it to being hit by a large heavy object head-on at high speeds, no, I've never actually happened to me but that's the best I can come up with.

I only became more puzzled at the time when I took in that my bodily condition was horrendous and being half awake didn't help much. So, when the skull-splitting headache came into the mix, trying to determine what the hell was going on became more difficult. It took me some time to get things in order enough to take stock of what was going on somewhat. Logically speaking, feeling including pain doesn't happen at random or for no reason, that is fact. So then, something had to be responsible for the ridiculous headache I was suffering from this morning. The idea of cause and effect would state that if you do something then you will have a resulting effect or consequence. And that tends to explain most things to some degree, so that said, what in the hell could I have done to get what I'm suffering from?

However, as I tried to recall what could have caused such a headache and the stuff that came with it, I came up with a big blank. In fact, memories of last night were hazy at best and that is distinctly out of place and sticks out to me. With short-term memory not helping me, I shifted to attempting to take in my surroundings as that may help figure out what is going on. Yet, the first effort to sit up… didn't go well or really work at all, my body didn't do what I instructed it to. Instead, I then opened my eyes to see if I could at least see where I was and go on from there, but I very quickly came to regret that choice. The moment that I opened my eyes to the margin I did, the pain I was in, specifically my head sharply increased. Honestly, it felt like I was having sharp objects shoved into my eye sockets.

Like anyone else, I shut my eyes and the pain dulled slowly though the splitting headache remained present. The headache was bad enough that I couldn't help but bring my forepaws to the sides of my head and hold it. Of course, it didn't help with the pain, but it's what I could do right now and it was better than nothing. A soft groan escaped me due to the pain and I wasn't able to hold it in with what I was dealing with. Wracking my brains to try to figure out what happened to have me in this state continued to be unsuccessful as I attempted to get over the pain.

When I listed the symptoms, I came up with a somewhat better picture even if it didn't make much sense overall. First of all, I feel like garbage and am waking up much later than I have done in many years, meaning something has messed up my internal clock. Second, I have a huge SPLITTING headache akin to a crowd is dancing the conga on top of my head. Third, my eyes throb in pain when they intake light like someone is plunging daggers into them. Then to top that off, my mind was nearly stagnating to the point that's it's like you're swimming a syrupy substance or idiomatic speaking 'clear as mud'. And the issue I see is that I can't figure out how they relate or what caused them.

Shifting slightly to continue to take stock of my body's failing health, I found that my muscles were responding less than expected. It was much they as if they were immersed in some kind of thickening agent so that there was a serious drag or heavyweights on my body as I moved. Obviously, my brain wasn't the only area affected by my body that was being affected by whatever it was that was causing all of this. This is one of those wonderful times in life that I ask, "what did I do to deserve this"?!

So, how could my current plight get any more awkward than I've described already some might ask? Well, that's yet again one of those questions I've learned not to ask, it's far too similar to "how can something get any worse" for comfort. But the answer to the said question in this would be me registering an unfamiliar weight sitting on top of my underbelly. Now my physical senses were already having issues at the moment, so the weight could be me imagining things. That in mind, I decided to double-check the information to have something else to occupy my mind other than the pain. My continued attempts to recall what had happened last night during and after the meal weren't being fruitful anyways other than causing more pain.

I cracked my eyes open again and though the light hurt my eyes, I ground through it. And once I became accustomed to the light levels, I noted that my vision was blurry and unfocused, so the world was a sea of colors and blobs. The throbbing pain bouncing around my skull was horrendous, but the sea of color got my stomach's complaining to get louder with nausea. That earned a low groan from me as I did my utmost to keep the gears from running in reverse and the contents of my gut coming up.

After a period, whether it was minutes or seconds, I couldn't tell which really the world became somewhat clearer. I found that I was in the cave that Lara and I had taken shelter in last night and that at least made some sense and I would take what I could get right now. My condition as it was still made no real sense to me as it is so unusual to occur with me regularly. I normally see some of these symptoms with Uncle Douche from his choices. However, I don't consume alcohol or eat the garbage that he does, so that can't be what is doing this to me.

After steadying myself, I looked down at my underbelly and saw something was lying there to add weight. It took me a few moments of staring for my eyes to convince my mind the image in front of me was real. Lying on my underbelly and the majority of my chest was a purple blob though as I kept staring and blinking for longer for my eyes to focus was slow, the purple blob I had been looking at turned into Lara. The dragoness had her head sitting just below the base of my neck and from the rest of the distribution of her weight, she was draped over me. Lara's forelegs were holding onto my shoulders, but they weren't clinging tightly to me. Her hind legs were loosely wrapped around my hips and her tail was intertwined with my own tail. Her breathing pattern and the twitching under her eyelids said that Lara was still appeared to be fast asleep. Yet, I did note that she had a contented smile on her face as she slept for whatever reason, I still don't understand this dragoness.

Admittedly, Lara lying on me didn't feel unwelcome oddly, and I say that as I don't do well with hugging or embraces. That's thanks to Uncle Douchebag, but that's another story that I would rather not get into right now. I was dismissing the point that Lara was sleeping on top of me and get back to attempting to figure out why I felt the way I did. But after a long moment, the fact itself sunk in more and my thought processes came to a halt as other implications came to the forefront of my mind.

Lara's position suggested rather strongly that Lara and I did something that I had little to no interest in doing. Granted, there wasn't finite proof of the idea, but circumstantial evidence is pretty convincing to say that Lara and I could have done the activity. Ice cold dread began running through me at realizing that I might have done the deed with Lara. Not being able to remember the previous night wasn't helping at all, just making things worse as it gave me less reason to deny the deed being done. My imagination went wild for a moment, then good dependable logic came in for the rescue and helped me calm down.

The best answer and interpretation for the current positions of Lara and myself, we moved as we slept and nothing more. Just because Lara is sleeping on top of me doesn't guarantee that we mated with one another. It certainly doesn't dismiss the possibility of such an event occurring, but it does not mean that we undeniably did it. I mean, Lara could have for all I know just laid down next to me last night, and while shifting in her sleep ended out where she is. It's also feasible that the dragoness could have just wanted more warmth for herself and I was the closest source of heat. Really, recalling what happened after the meal last night would settle the matter better than anything else.

The problem doing that thus far is that it increases the magnitude of the splitting headache I'm experiencing. Yet, I needed the answer to the question of if Lara and I had done the deed and pain wouldn't dissuade me. So, wasting no more time, I dove in and racked my brain in the attempt to recollect the previous night's events but was having difficulty doing so. Between the horrible throbbing pain in the mosh pit going on in my skull and recalling images, I had to stop due to the pain winning over my attempted effort. The images that I dragged up from the recollections were of a nature that… HOLY FREAKING CRAP!

I had to take some deep breaths as the things I saw in those said images were of an erotic nature and that didn't help my unstable state of mind. And some of the images were really… I don't want to think of words to describe them. However, I believe the images are obvious from a wet dream I had while I slept, that's what I tell myself right now. It has happened before now, not that I'll say that out loud to anyone but it is what it is.

Now don't get me wrong, Lara is nice and everything more so than several girls I've been around. It's just not… well, I can't see myself getting into a more intimate position with anyone soon. Lara can do better than a trouble magnet like me, it would be better for her to keep her distance really. Anyway, I will go with that and stick to it and move forward from here. And the longer I saw the images were played over and over in my mind, the louder and more forcefully I kept repeating to myself, a mantra as if my life depended on it! 'That couldn't and didn't really occur, it was a dream!'

The best thing for me to do would be to clear my head and fresh air should help me with that. It took some time to work myself from under Lara and untangle myself from her and not wake her up. I then made my way towards the cave entrance though it was slower than I would like and that's how I'll put it. I didn't exactly walk, really I was swaggering from side to side while I made my way towards the cave entrance. Yet I managed to stay on my paws and not fall with a crash to the ground which would likely wake Lara.

When I reached the entrance of the cave, I couldn't stop the hiss of pain as full daylight hit me. The increased levels of light didn't feel pleasant at all honestly, it hurt like hell and wouldn't let me ignore it at all. However, I forced myself to push forward, disregarding the pain that was pounding in me demanding my attention and continued putting one paw in front of the other which took more concentration than normal. Nonetheless, it was after a few steps were made that I had a misstep and my right foreleg slipped out from under me. And thanks to gravity and what it does so well and consistently, I performed a painfully yet magnificent face plant into the dirt below me in what felt like slow-motion. The impact I swear, sent my brain bouncing around inside my skull adding to loads of pain I was experiencing.

I laid on the ground for a moment twitching a bit before grunting that was followed by grumbling moments after I had buried my face into the ground though all sounds were muffled by the dirt my face was in. The clearest thought that was coming to me was that this was just going to be one of those days, one of those you just want to end so badly. And I still haven't figured out what could have caused my current situation.

It took me a minute before I managed to place my forepaws on either side of my head and pushed downward effectively. After three failed attempts to pull my face out of the dirt, I succeeded on the fourth pull upward and picked myself out of the dirt and proceeded with the force of motion to end out on my back. Groaning, I rolled over and got off the ground and stood be it with difficulty on my paws. The pain was still present and was irritating me with how it was bugging me in its insistence. Then the feeling of nausea came to the forefront and my balance was thrown out of whack by horrendous vertigo that was thrust upon me. Instead of fighting the vertigo, and possibly hurling up what's in my guts, I decided that it wasn't worth it right now. Falling to my haunches, I laid my head down to ground level as it felt like the world was spinning, but it was better than battling the urge to hurl as the nausea was weakening slightly with me being at ground level.

All I saw for the next ten seconds was white and nothing else as I laid where I was wanting the sick feeling to stop. After the world started to loosely stabilize, I rose to my paw again with great effort hoping against hope that the vertigo wouldn't hit me as hard yet was proven wrong. I'm left to question once again why Lady Luck seems to hate me so as she always had something against me. What I could have done to earn her wrath and have such a vendetta against me, I'll never know. All I can say is that my current plight just sucks darn it!

I battled the waves of abhorrence of fluid trying to make its way up from my stomach and didn't feel much success. Well, I guess you can say I crawled or rather dragged my body over to the spring that was thankfully a short distance from the cave. If it hadn't been close, then I don't know what I would have done… perhaps just lie down and barf my guts up and get it over and done with. When I had reached the spring, I'd planned to take a drink of water yet nausea surged and instead I swung my head to the side and puked.

Emptying my stomach did help somewhat though it didn't get the nausea to fully go away which was disappointing. I turned back to the spring to take a drink but what I actually did was dunk my head completely into the spring, it was mostly unintentional. However, like with some of those home remedy cures that at times sound ludicrous, you find out by accident that they actually really can help, that's what happened in this case for me in this instance. The spring wasn't warm let me state that for the record, no, it was freezing cold like in the low forties if not upper thirties in the degree department. I have to say that though dunking my head had been unplanned, the cold shock was effective at clearing my mind to a degree. It wasn't working a peak condition by any means, probably would need the time to process and pass whatever is doing all of this to me. Nevertheless, it was doing far better than before I had gone in for a dunk in the water. As I came up out of the water, the difference in temperature enhanced the cold shock, I was now fully awake!

There was a feeling of haunting familiarity of these symptoms was still in my brain, but it was no longer sitting in the back, the stronger the feeling the closer to the active part of my mind they got to. "Woooow! That was *burp* sommmmewhat helpful," I stated.

Upon realizing that I had just slurred my words, I stopped and took a moment to assess myself again. With my brain running at a better pace, I began to get more sensory input and took notice that there was an odd taste in my mouth following the burp. Odd as that was I didn't think much of it, still, I decided to make a quick check just to do due diligence. I've found the best way to check if you ate something that you shouldn't is to smell your breath for any bad or rank smell. A lesson I have picked up… don't ask how or where, I would rather not say, I just have lots of experience in this.

I put a paw in front of my maw and then exhaled and then inhaled through my snout and immediately snapped back at the scent that came out of my mouth for two reasons. First and most noticeable, the stench was foul with a giant freaking capital "F". The second and far more horrifying fact that registered to me, it was a smell I was unmistakably familiar with! It was metaphorically like being slammed into a solid brick wall, my symptoms relation clicked and all of this made sense. The nagging familiarity had been telling me that relation and I should have gotten the message well before now. And the idea I had dismissed earlier came back to me once again and it was not comforting. "That's not possible! I haven't drunk… wait that fruit! Oh please someone tell me that it wasn't somehow alcoholic or the equivalent of being so!"

Yes, the smell of my breath had the clear and unmistakable, the disgusting stench of alcohol! I could never mistake that smell being forced to smell it for so many years as I have thanks to Uncle Douchebag. So then, that fruit had alcohol or something similar enough to it to have the same effect as alcohol and liquor. Simply put, I'd been dealing with a hangover and I don't like it at all. That would infer that I had gotten drunk last night, which would explain why I can't remember much of last night. I don't exactly like where this tangent is going, but at least I know I can't hold liquor, yet another reason I should never ever drink or consume alcohol.

I hereby rechristen the eleventh commandment, "Thou shalt not drink liquor or anything like unto it!" It may be a personal commandment I have but think about how many fewer problems there would if people followed this commandment to the letter.

Now as I stated before, this tangent of logic and "cause and effect" worried me a great deal. Most people you would think knowing that they were drunk the previous night would put them at ease, wouldn't you? However, I'm one that takes responsibility for actions I do seriously whether I remember doing them or not. So, if it weren't for a tiny little detail I wouldn't be as worried as I am. That detail would be the female named Lara, with her in the mix I say not in the slightest am I less worried! It worried me more if anything, I had gotten drunk the previous night! Who knows what I did, I could have very well mated with Lara and do not recall any of it, CURSE YOU ALCOHOL!

To say I was furious is an understatement for me with what could have happened. It's not that I'm mad at Lara as I don't blame her for this since it wasn't exactly her fault that things happened as they have. I'm angrier with myself for not listening to those suspicions I had about that fruit when I saw them. How many times have I learned the lesson about the consequences of ignoring my intuition? Far more than I wish to count and yet again, I'm forced to experience the problems that come from my mistake, joygasms for me. The desire to scream my fury and frustration rose in me and I couldn't ignore it for long. However, with my voice and the volume levels, it can reach, it would be mean to do that for it would wake Lara for sure. Glancing down at the water again an idea came to mind and I guess that would work for an outlet for this situation.

I dunked my head back into the spring and began to scream gibberish underwater to voice my fury. When I was about to run out of air I retracted my head, took a large gulp of air and then immerse my head underwater again and continued screaming my current feelings. Repeating this process for a little while until I had vented enough to calm down to be able to think clearly. When I had, I collapsed down to the ground combating renewed waves of nausea, still, I was close enough to have a couple drinks of water and that helped get the foul taste out of my mouth. After that, I began to become lost in my thoughts as I tried to understand and comprehend and piece together the puzzle of the events of the time from when I found Lara and now.

So, last night I had become a drunken idiot which is a very ugly and terrible picture of myself. I remember blacking out somewhat, which is probably the alcohol getting to my brain and overtaking my ability to think. After that, I haven't the faintest idea what was fact or fiction for me with the things that come up in my head. There were blurry images of things I… don't really want to address at the moment. I can't deny that what I thought was a dream could have happened, and with what facts I can confirm, it is very probable. I pray that I didn't do anything like what those images entail. I'm still a virgin I think, or maybe have been uh… the fact of the matter is I wouldn't want my first time to occur when I am so drunk that I won't remember it! I can't see how things can get any more frustrating but knowing my luck, I'll soon find out how.

It was a moment later that my ears picked up the sound of random impacts to the ground I think. Glancing over in the direction of the cave and to my bemusement saw Lara outside and making her way towards me. She was weaving in a manner that made it clear she had a hangover like I was now starting to get over now. Snickering quietly at the sight even though I know I shouldn't do so, but her weaving in a drunken stupor was pretty amusing. Much more comical than seeing the douche I have lived with dealing with a hangover. Well, I can't really laugh at him, risk getting a beating for doing that action, so yeah. I just laid there and watched the comical sight as Lara made her way over to the spring and to me along with it, she fell forward next to me and groaned.

-Lara's pov-

When I had started waking up, I had found that everything seemed to hurt and I could not figure out why. Upon opening my eyes, the pain seemed to increase and I shut my eyes to dull the pain I felt. I tried to recall what happened the night before in an attempt to understand why I felt the way I did. However, my head throbbed badly when I tried so I stopped for the moment and instead took in my surroundings. I believe I was still in the cave I ended out in before, but there was no sign of Saber himself. There were images of what I think were dreams and at recalling them, my thoughts stopped. The dreams implied that Saber and I had been mating with each other from what I could tell.

Now, I would be happy if I could be Saber's mate, I wanted that more than anything else that I can remember. It was why I had pursued him back around Carona, he was just such a good match for me in my opinion. So, I've dreamed of mating with him before, but this instance was somewhat more vivid with what scenes I was recalling. A wish of the dream being real came to my heart, yet it was unlikely even if I do not what to admit it. Maybe someday I can convince Saber that we can be mates, but I cannot say how long that may take.

Then again, with the things I had said to him back at Warfang, him coming to find me could have all been a dream too. I hope him finding me was not a dream and that he is just up and about already, but with not being able to remember what happened last night, I cannot say. I regret the things I had said to him, more so with what he had said back, sometimes in a shout before he had flown off. I felt so horrible about the fight as Saber was nice and I had snapped at him like I had when I should not have.

So, I decided that I should go outside and see if I could find Saber and go on from there and hopefully things would improve. Getting to my paws was more difficult than it normally is and I could not figure out why. I tried walking to the entrance of the cave and I was weaving from side to side without meaning to. The weaving did not stop when I got out of the cave and the pain in my head became worse at coming into daylight. My vision wasn't the best at the moment, but I did spot something white ahead and made my way towards it hoping it was Saber. I fell to the ground next to the white object as the pain and the sick feeling that accompanied them overwhelmed me.

"Morrrning, how are you feeling," said Saber's voice in a shout slurring the first word.

Well, Saber finding me wasn't a dream yet why is he speaking so loudly? It hurt my head with the volume, so I put my paws to it, "Ow," I groaned, "why are you talking so loud?"

"My apologies, so how do you feel," asked Saber in a softer voice.

How do I feel? I feel horrible and I do not know why and it is confusing me a great deal, "My head hurts like someone is pounding on it," I answered painfully.

"You do not say, you have a stabbing pain in your eyes when you open them? Odd taste in your mouth perhaps? Inability to remember last night clearly and top that off with vertigo? Am I missing anything you are feeling at the moment, or did I get them all," Saber inquired. Wait, how does he know all of that? I would have answered but all I managed was to groan quietly to the pain and did not move. "I take that as yes to all of thee above then," he commented.

I moaned in pain again as I was not appreciating what he was saying though I did manage to reply vocally, "Why do I feel like this?"

Maybe Saber could have some idea as to what had put me into this state as I had been able to come up with nothing. My breathing was labored as the pain throbbed in my head as I laid where I was. "Well, do you remember that fruit you found for our meal last night? The ones I was being suspicious of and doubting that we should eat them," Saber questioned.

The fruit that we ate last night, why would Saber bring that up at a time like this? True, they had tasted a bit odd, but others had told me that the fruit was okay to eat. "Yes, what about them," I replied clutching my head. I have not felt this kind of a pain in my head ever before now and it was making it very hard to think clearly.

Saber let out a sigh, "Those fruits as it happens contained alcohol or something similar enough to it to have the same effect," he stated.

Al-co-hall, that was the term that Saber mentioned about that vile liquid he told me about. "Al-co-hall? Was that not that terrible liquid you told me about," I inquired to be sure I was thinking about the same thing.

Saber grunted an affirmative, "Yes indeedy, now you and I know by experience what it feels like to have to deal with the after-effects, namely the condition called a hangover," he remarked. Did he just say he was having pain coming to him like I am, he seemed so calm and okay. Yet, it could explain why he was missing when I woke up. "I would suggest you dunk your head in the spring. It is not an instant cure to the pain, but it does help a small bit," Saber suggested.

Well, Saber's suggestion was better than doing nothing, so I immersed my head in the spring and felt the cold water hit me. The water did help my mind clear a little, my head still hurt an amount and I am left to wonder why any would do this to themselves. As my head was under the water, I felt a paw start to rub up and down my back which I assumed was Saber's. I also wonder how Saber seems to know about what was going on with us through some kind of experience and I could not figure out why. I would wish this idea and pain on no one else for it was horrible to experience. I came up for air after a minute or so breathing hard, "Why would anyone want this," I asked incredulously.

I glanced at Saber and found I could see him clearer than before and he seemed to be thinking about his answer. "That is one of life's lessons, there are things that others do which you will not be able to understand or explain. Accept that fact even if you do not like it and learn from it," Saber replied.

That made sense and yet not much sense, and that seems to be something that comes off and on with Saber. He does not give straight answers always and it got annoying at times, but as I love him, I tend to ignore that fault of his. I gulped in another breath of air before going back under the water again. It took time and a few more dunks to get the pain to subside to a manageable degree. When the pain was fading, Saber and I ended out sitting by the spring and he looked to be lost in his thoughts. I on the other paw was thoroughly disgusted by the whole painful experience I had gone through and did not wish to repeat. I could not stop myself from speaking my thoughts, "If that painful experience is what occurs after you consume this alcohol, then I do not want to do it again!"

Saber chuckled at my statement, "Lara, I have been telling myself that whenever I see the man I lived with pay the price for consuming the stuff the night before," he replied.

That is harsh, to have to watch the one you are around going through what we did and what sounded like a frequent basis. And the things he had said about his "uncle" had not been nice at all, it had worried me hearing them. There was so much bitterness in Saber, I could see that and it was sad to see the signs of how he had suffered. It also served as a reminder that I knew so little of what had happened to Saber since he disappeared years ago.

I was trying to think of a way I could perhaps cheer up Saber and mend the bad feelings that were between us. However, as I was, the scenes that came from the dreams came back to my mind and that caused a blush to come to my cheeks. The images of Saber and I mating were wonderful, but I could not just describe them out loud with how Saber had reacted before. Yet it was Saber's voice that snapped my attention back to the present, "Um Lara, why are you blushing?"

My blush deepened to a crimson coloration at the question as the subject was one that I wanted to talk to Saber about but did not know where to start. "Oh, it is nothing," I answered.

Saber stared at me, his expression shifting into showing little emotion other than saying he did not believe my answer. It is times like this I wish Saber was not as good at knowing when others are lying to him as he is. And I cannot say how or where he learned such a skill as Arkanis has, it just can be irritating sometimes.

"Lara, if I have not told you already before now, I am someone that lying to is very hard if not close to impossible when I am paying attention and watching closely," Saber said much to my annoyance. "You have to be very good at not showing any of the signs your body does when you lie and none of the dragons that I have met cannot do so in the slightest. I mean, I have seen children who can lie better than some dragons do who shall remain nameless. The point is, I can tell pretty much instantly when you something false. So fess up, what are you blushing about," he stated flatly. I tried speaking but my mouth would not do as I wanted to so instead Saber kept going, "Come on, how embarrassing could whatever you are thinking about or recalling be?"

Why does Saber have to be so frustratingly calm at a time like this?! I love him but he can be so difficult to handle sometimes, which could also be one of the reasons that others are not around him as much. The quality was not enough to have me avoid him and he is lucky I choose to ignore his shortcomings. Saber is an uncut gem in the rough, and I can see the wonderful qualities that he has even if others do not. There have been instants that I question if Saber even sees the good that he has within himself.

Yet, as I was trying to get ahold of myself, I noticed Saber bending down to sip from the spring, still appearing as calm as can be. Well fine, we will see how calm he is when I tell what is flustering me. I took a deep breath and mustered the courage to say what I wanted even if it came out in a whisper, "I dreamed that we mated."

-Saber's pov-

At hearing what Lara whispered my head snapped up and I did one of the most amazing spit takes I've ever done in my life! A large and wide spray of water launched from my mouth and in the center was a small but thick stream of water. The thicker than the mist that was my spit take, lasted for five seconds and had a faint rainbow, which was followed by me having a coughing fit. I froze after I got over the fit of coughing I went through after spitting out the water I had been drinking.

Did Lara just say she dreamt that we mated?! Oh dear, that SO doesn't answer my prayers of those dreams being just that, dreams. Actually, it supports the idea that Lara and I did do the deed last night, we just can't recall it fully due to the alcohol. No, this can't be happening to me! I can't have had my first time while I was drunk beyond cognitive thought!

[You know, you are really not helping yourself. Perhaps you should employ the phrase, 'if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging.]

Would you freaking shut your hole you philosophical, comment-happy, talkative narrator! I don't need your input and it isn't helping me in any way, shape, or form right now. I'm well aware that I'm in a hole and it's getting deeper the more I examine it. I dragged myself back to the present and decided there was a serious need for conformation. So, I composed myself and looked at the dragoness, "Lara, I think my ears may have not been working right for a moment, did you say you dreamed of us," I hesitated, "mating?"

My answer was Lara somehow blushing a deeper red as she nodded which tugged at my heartstrings as it made her look extremely cute as well as make my blood get colder. This hole is getting deeper… no, the ground under is collapsing beneath me and I'm not appreciating it at all! Nonetheless, the dragoness in front of me was smiling at the fact she was saying meaning Lara was happy at the thought of us mating, but no surprise there. She had chased me for the majority of a day, after all, so Lara made it clear that she wished to be my mate and me hers. Whereas I'm panicking about the prospect of the idea of mating, not just with Lara, but just mating at all! The way Lara was acting and her tone of voice, would suggest that she has thought and dreamt about this subject before now… likely multiple times.

[And such is a problem? Many would be thrilled to be in your position you know, putting your relationship issues and difficulties aside.]

Did I not just tell you to keep your opinions to yourself and clamp that mouth of yours shut Narrator? Stop adding to the conundrum that I'm currently talking about or else I blast you to Kingdom Come.

[Technically such would be impossible, but I wouldn't doubt would spend time attempting to find a way. I'm merely pointing out that you are taking this experience in a worse way than you normally take unexpected events.]

I said shut up, don't make me start blasting you… sorry about that argument, you all listening aren't supposed to see or hear that kind of thing. Anyway, back to my dilemma I was in, finding out that Lara and I had very likely mated and the aftereffects that come with that.

Is it too much to ask to remember one's first time being with the opposite gender? Silly me, I get drunk and so guarantee that I don't get that wish! This is going nowhere, but down to a burning hell that is, better for me just to stop! I mean, the likelihood of Lara and I mating just being a dream was rapidly fading into nonexistence. For us to have similar dreams is possible, remote but possible, though I am rationalizing right now and I admit that. Then Lara, for whatever reason went into great and unneeded detail of her 'dream', all the while blushing as she gave the descriptions.

My emotional control was slipping as my mouth twisted into horror and unwanted understanding, which she seemed not to notice me doing. The more she described, the more I cursed myself internally and the hole I was in. Her dream wasn't just similar, oh no, it was near identical to the pieces of memory I could recall parts of. That pretty much signifies that it was no dream but is what we really did and don't remember completely! Farewell my virginity, it was nice knowing you for the time I did.

Now, it isn't like I am completely and utterly against mating with Lara per se or accepting the repercussions… exactly. If it's Lara that my life is to be with, I believe I could live with doing that… oh right, I've done the deed with her and so have to live with it, yeah for me. But I kind of prefer to have the choice in the matter when things like this come up, this is a life affect decision after all. Nonetheless, I was so involved in my inner turmoil, that I ignored my sensory input that was telling me Lara had got up extremely close to me and was staring at me a mere inch from my face with hers. "Saber," came a soprano feminine voice that was Lara's.

At hearing the Lara saying my name, I came out of my mental conundrum wondering what the purple dragoness wanted. Wen I refocused on the world around me, I found myself staring into a pair of startling azure blue eyes that were inches from my own. Staring for a moment into those eyes, I began to lose myself in their depths and was accompanied by a growing warm fuzzy feeling spreading in my chest. Within a short period, I realized I was gawking and I snapped out of it. Upon getting a second, more critical look, my eyes widened at registered the pair of gorgeous azure eyes belong to Lara and she was literally inches away from me. Did I just think that Lara's eyes were gorgeous?! Where is a thought like that coming from?!

Anyway, paying attention to my sensory input, things became worse for me, now that I was receiving input from my senses. First, I felt Lara pressing her own chest against my front, though her neck and head weren't pressing against me directly. There was a part of me that liked this sensation and wouldn't allow me to back away without a load of resistance that I haven't experienced before. Then secondly, I couldn't just smell her scent anymore it was overwhelming me as it engulfed me so I couldn't ignore it. Lara's scent hasn't ever been anywhere near this strong before and I have been this close before, which confused me. Plus, Lara smelled so good that it was affecting me to such a degree, it was making me question a lot of things I wouldn't.

"Saber, you look off," said Lara with worry.

I couldn't use my voice properly and since when has Lara's voice sounded so soothing and beautiful? It felt like a switch was flipped in my brain and I was thrown out of the metaphorical driver seat. 'Oh my, the wonderful, musical voice that is magnificent to my ears, is speaking to me! How I want to hear it more-' I forced a full halt of all thought processes the moment that thought went through. The thought had been so out of place for me and didn't fit anything I would come up with even were I drunk! Something was throwing me for one of the more serious loops and rides I've even been on and I don't like it at all!

Out of habit, I began taking slow deep breaths to calm down and get things for me. Such worked time and time again for me and so you would imagine that it would be so now, but my hopes were not founded. What happened when I tried to breathe and calm down, as I got a large dose of amazing Lara's scent, which further drowns me in whatever this state that was occurring to me. The more I tried to clear my head and keep my cool the more my mind became muddled and losing effective functionality. The other change I couldn't fathom at the moment was that my heart was beating faster and faster with the closer Lara got to me. Both of those points combined were further intoxicating me and I don't like this feeling and yet I don't hate it either and that is scaring me!

Thoughts and ideas like the one I had just started to present themselves with increasing frequency. And they were escalating to more ludicrous ones with each new thought and these aren't the kind of things I tend to imagine when I have a sane mind. My mindscape which is usually calm and organized had changed. It was more chaotic and all the input I was receiving from my sense showed up as images. I know it probably doesn't make much sense but try to keep up and do the best you can. Back to the… odd thoughts that were popping up in my head there were as follows:

'Just let go and go with the flow in this.'

'She likes you, why not like her back.'

'Kiss her, feel her lips again!'

'She has shown she wants you, why deny her of such.'

'Take her, love her, she's yours!'

Those were the main tangent that the thoughts were going along and all referring to Lara herself. Like I said, not the kind of ideas that normally go through my head and haven't had a place before now. And I wouldn't doubt by this point that Lara would reject any of the implications from said thoughts. After all, she wants to be my mate, so why wouldn't she want to do things expected of two in that position?

To be honest, it was taking every bit of developed mental control to NOT give in to these thoughts right now. My mind was becoming so fuzzy and muddled and was getting worse by the second, thinking straight was becoming harder and harder. I wasn't to the point of being completely unable to think coherent or straight anymore but I wasn't all that far from that dangerous position. I needed to get things back on freaking track before they completely derail and there is a horrible wreck! And as this is happening in my head, that is where I have to go and as I have learned to see my mindscape during the years of meditation, I looked into the plane of my mind.

"Saber, speak to me," called Lara with increasing worry.

I didn't answer, though her voice was affecting me, with great force of will, I ignored her to fix the issue I was having. Once I found myself within my mindscape, there came a feeling of something wet below me. Looking down, I found myself standing in some kind of odd colorless liquid that I've never seen before and it shouldn't be here on in my mind. This 'stuff' was unlike anything I had encountered, it didn't act like anything logical or scientific.

Lara was continuing to speak to me, even when I wasn't actively listening to her. What was problematic was her voice was somehow causing the substance to begin sucking me downward. The moment that began, I struggled and fought against this stuff and its effects on me, but no matter what I did the liquid just kept pulling me down. The odder thing was I could still comprehend what was happening around me somewhat, though not perfectly. It was like being in a dream, but not being able to do anything about what is going on. Make no mistake, I was fighting tooth and nail the whole time as I was sucked down, yet I couldn't stop myself from sinking under the surface of this liquid. The moment I was under, I lost all control and influence on anything I was doing and that ain't a feeling I like in any way, shape or form.

With me being denied the say and driver seat position, the thoughts like the ones earlier took over with nothing to block or stop them. With that being the case even more embarrassing things started moving in:

'Why would I want to resist that captivating voice?'

To my horror, the next thing I registered, my mouth was moving and I wasn't instructing it what to say. "What would you like me to say beautiful~," I heard myself saying.

Please tell me I didn't just sing my answer like some kind of idiot? This has become a horrible nightmare and I am not able to wake up from it and this won't do at all! I won't allow this to continue while I'm still breathing and able in any way, I will wake up from this and go on from there. Asserting great effort, I attempted to claw my way to the surface of whatever this substance was which kept me from controlling what I do. Whoever or whatever is in control of me has to be stopped now before I do something beyond what I have that I'm would regret! Nevertheless, the more I struggled, the farther the surface slipped away from me as I sank deeper into this unknown liquor I was being restrained by. Still, I received input from my sensory and so I saw what my body was doing while I wasn't in the driver seat.

The sight of Lara staring at me all the while with a look of confusion worried me greatly. Then the one in the driver seat began to do things that were embarrassing and things I wouldn't do. 'Why would Lara just stare at me? Is she satisfied with that? Doesn't she know she can do what she wants to me! All she needs to do is say what she desires and I will do whatever I can to fulfill that desire! Oh well, I'm not going to complain if she is looking at me! Lara looking at me means that things are right with the world.'

Hell no, that's not me, I wouldn't have such thoughts like these and I won't stand for them to direct what I do! However, while I was in this… miasma, yes that's the word I would use for this, if I can't pass this miasma then my thoughts won't amount to anything. And I am not one that let's another tell me what to do without fighting against the fools that think they know better than I do.

"Saber, why did you just sing your answer? And did you really just call me beautiful? It was really unlike you, but it is nice of you to call me beautiful," asked Lara tilting her head to the right slightly.

The idiot driver was happy at Lara's question as they then thought, 'Sing, does she want me to sing to her, break out into song? I would be more than happy to-' I cut them off as I was finally able to break through the surface of whatever was holding me down and denying me my free-will. I demand to know who it is that is responsible for this as I will make them shut up and never do this to me again! I've been acting like a love-struck and sick idiotic fool and I do not do that by choice. So, what is this stuff that's making me so cognitively and mentally impaired?! This is similar to what happened back at Warfang and Lara, no, it's worse!

The miasma was sucking me back down and it wouldn't be long before it would immerse me again and I would be forced back to just watching. The best short-term solution I could come up with was making some distance from what is causing this to happen to me. To test my theory, I took a few steps back from Lara and the 'miasma's' pull seemed to slow down along with its pull lessened ever so slightly. With this change serving as proof and an encouragement, I shook my head from side to side hard trying desperately to clear my head. I needed a release from the influence and hold of this miasma is that is making me act like a world-class idiot.

"Saber," Lara said coming closer to me.

The miasma instantly strengthened its pull and I began to sink down again and it was harder to overcome than it was before. I felt my logical mind slipping away again, back into the liquid that was inhibiting me. Yet before I lost to this miasma dug deep and tried to call out for Lara to get away from me so that I could fight this. I wouldn't lose this struggle, it was too important to give up in and I would keep my battle up until the bitter end. "No," I snarled. "Do not come any closer Lara," I got out with the growing effort.

I was having so much trouble keeping the miasma from overwhelming me and assuming control when I went under the surface of it. Fighting as hard as I could to keep in control, but I was failing as the miasma kept tugging me gently but firmly down. And that was making this all the more frustrating, this miasma was almost pulling nicely like someone telling you of something you will supposedly like. I would almost prefer the rough dragging that one would kick and scream bloody murder against! "Saber, what is wrong with you," asked Lara now sounding to be in almost a panic.

I could hear her come closer to me again and it didn't help me at all as I desperately fought to maintain control. And yet, I slowly, painfully slow, was dragged beneath the miasma and all control I had slipped away. That left whomever the idiot was from before to take the driver seat and embarrassing me beyond measure while I did nothing. 'Lara is worried about me? Oh, what a happy and joyous day it is!' "There is nothing wrong with me Lara. I am just fine and dandy, is it not obvious," my voice said as the nightmare continued. I watched myself with increasing embarrassment and shame and felt my body moving forward and eliminated the remaining distance that separated us. Words cannot tell of my wish to scream denial to the action, to make a distance from her, but I might as well not have for it had the same effect. "You need not worry about me, but it still is nice that you do," I heard myself say in a cheerful tone of voice.

The look of surprise on Lara's face sent warmth to my heart and caused my pulse to speed up even more. And this was getting painful to watch the more I was forced to witness and there was still nothing I could do about this. "All right, you just sound different than you normally do," she replied to me.

I felt a cheese grin appear in response to Lara's reply and it irked me to have such an expression come to my face. Truthfully, this is so embarrassing I just want to hide my face and never show it for a great amount of time. I'm not one that normally gets into situations to embarrass myself yet here I am forced to watch it happen. "Sometimes it is nice to mix things up a little bit, would you not agree," I heard myself saying.

Did I really just say that ! #% corny line and with no embarrassment in my voice?! That isn't natural for me and this is just getting plain wrong and terrible to watch. Things didn't stop there, nope that would make too much sense for me, instead, I felt myself lean forward and kissed Lara quickly on the lips. That was the last straw for me, jerking, struggling, doing anything to wrestle back the reins of control from whatever had them currently, I fought against the miasma, yet I failed. The ! #$# stuff just kept me under and watch what my body was doing without my instructions. And Narrator, I'm getting real ! $!# irritated about this censoring you're insisting on, just so that we're clear!

[Oh we're clear on that, up to $300 by the way on your tab you'll be paying.]

Back to what I'm suffering through, things were harder as the feeling of Lara's lips pressing against mine registered since I couldn't miss it. I'll begrudgingly admit, they felt soft and quite marvelous though I don't feel like being honest right now. Lara from what I could tell was stunned speechless by my action and went into a daze, her maw was hanging open and her eyes were wide staring at nothing. I on the other paw dug deeper than I have ever done since getting to the Dragon Realm and gave a monumental effort to take back control. I'd had enough of this foolery and this embarrassing crap and I was putting my paws down and putting a stop to this! I succeeded in getting to the surface again and breaking through, thus getting control of my body back. And I wasn't in a nice mood at all, and I would figure out who or what was responsible for this miasma and make them pay!

The first thing I did was take hold of the reins of my body in a white-knuckled death grip and used the discipline I had to keep in the driver seat! However, it was as I got back to the driver seat that Lara came out of her daze with a broad smile quickly spreading over her face and happiness came to her visage. With a cry of joy, Lara pounced onto me latching me into an embrace as she hit, her actions ended knocking both of us over and to the ground. I was forced to try and regain my bearings as I had been busy fighting what had been controlling me.

Suddenly finding myself laying down flat on my back, I tried to figure out what was going on. But the next thing I can register, Lara's lips are being pressed against mine once more with vigor this time from her end. Thinking grew harder again as this dragoness continued kissing me with growing passion the longer the action went on. Lara's eyes were closed and she was pressing her whole body against mine in an arousing way. My reaction to this turn in circumstance was my eyes going wide gripping the control that something was trying to steal from me for the third time.

Granted, I know Lara likes me more than friends are expected to and she wants to have an intimate relationship. But I'm SO not ready for that kind of commitment!

[How clique that is.]

#% #% you # $! # Narrator! Lara's kissing was making it extremely difficult to stay above the miasma since Lara's kissing felt outright amazing. I'm not sure how much more my mental sanity can handle of this nightmare. I doubt it will be much more before it goes to hell and that never goes well for me or usually anyone else. Unfortunately, like my thinking capabilities, the longer Lara smooched me the stronger the pull of the miasma became and the quicker I sank down. Utterly helpless as I began to sink back under the miasma again faster than before. No matter how much I struggled or fought, I knew I was fighting a losing battle!

There has to be a way to get something out before I went under, the pull from below the miasma was the strongest it had been yet, but I wouldn't give in without fighting. "LARA STOP," I screamed out desperately.

Lara pulled back at my desperate shout, I felt her weight leave as she got off me. The sinking feeling wasn't gone even if Lara getting off of me diminished the strength of the pull that was dragging me beneath this liquid! There was a desperate need to do something to dispel this miasma and get rid of it now, the sooner the freaking better! And I needed to do so before I drown below it once more! There is a way, and I will find it, no matter the cost!

"Saber what is wrong," Lara began but I didn't listen.

Without further consideration, I had started banging my head on the ground… well, more slamming it against the ground honestly. But I had to clear and rid my mind of this miasma, A.S.A. ! #$# P no matter what! It was somehow overriding cognitive and mental thought processes and could possibly destroy my logical mind in the end! I won't let that happen, I would rather die before I let my mind deteriorate in this manner! This Miasma is likely something mental that I didn't know existed previously, ever since the event of becoming a dragon again the voices doing whatever it was they did, things haven't been the same. This could be from that, I haven't a clue if that's true, but it doesn't really matter. All I know is, if it's in my head, then I can get it out! No matter the cost or price that was required to be paid to achieve that result!

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING," Lara screeched.

I didn't heed her, just swung my head down hard at the ground as I voiced my thoughts, "Why am I acting like such an idiot?! Where did this miasma and the things with it come from?!"

"Saber stop! You will hurt yourself," yelled Lara.

Completely ignored and disregarded Lara screaming at me, I kept going with the headbanging. My top and only priority are to do whatever it took to rid myself of this miasma right now! BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY! SO, I WILL IGNORE THE PAIN, IT'S LIKELY GOING TO GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER! "I do not understand where these urges came from! But I will get rid of them," I continued to myself as much as Lara.

I kept hitting the ground with my head again and again, harder and harder ignoring the growing pain my nerves were transmitting because of my actions that were inflicting the said pain. It didn't matter to me and I won't care until later as I was too focused on clearing my mind. I'll deal with the repercussions of the pain later as it will mean that I got rid of the miasma! This miasma was doing things that had never happened before and the effects were seriously scaring me! Nothing like this had ever come up with me and I wouldn't have it! "Urges," Lara said, "what are you talking about, stop hitting your head on the ground."

I heard Lara's voice, but it was still mostly gibberish to me as I wasn't paying attention and hitting my head. All I heard that I actually even partially comprehended was the word 'urges'. "I do not know where they came from. But for some reason these urges have me doing things to get myself to make you smile laugh and look happy," I went on.

My head hitting the ground came to a stop when I felt Lara leaping onto me with her wrapping her legs around me and then holding me tightly. She effectively stopping me from slamming my head to the ground. I struggled a bit, yet to no avail of continuing my attempts to rid myself of this dangerous problem. "STOP! You are hurting yourself," Lara shrieked at me.

Once again, I'm impressed by Lara's strength, she's holding me in check and so I couldn't move much at all. Not many people or dragons/dragonesses can pin me or disable me to such an extent, especially when I'm a dragon, considering my size and natural strength, I wouldn't expect Lara to be able to. Yet, Lara was somehow doing just that and I was unable to break her hold she had on me. Well, my actions really haven't helped me, they've only given me another headache and I still haven't gotten the miasma to go away. Nonetheless, I was made aware that the area of my neck that was right below my jawline was getting damp. That got me to come out of my thoughts as the growing dampness was baffling me as I couldn't come up with what might be doing this. Twisting my head different ways to try to find out what was making my neck wet and in my attempts to discover what was going on when I heard sobbing from the same place. "W-Why were you h-h-hurting yourself S-saber," Lara cried

The dragoness was obviously still holding me and so was against me still. Yet she was now shaking no, convulsing and trembling against me. Lara was… crying, and I was the very likely cause of her waterworks. I have rarely ever made a girl cry and it just makes me feel like a scumbag of scumbags… no problems with making guys cry, but making girls crying, that's low and I'm feeling shame for this. "What are you talking," I started.

"WHY WERE YOU HITTING YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE GROUND," Lara shouted.

Oh, that nightmarish mental conundrum, well, how do I explain trying to rid myself of the miasma that was robbing me of my control over my bodily functions? Or even what the miasma is for I don't know what it was. "I do not know Lara. I," I hesitated, "I just," I stopped for a moment then continued, "I was not able to think clearly. It was like I was fighting someone else. I was trying to clear my head."

My mind still felt fuzzy and muddled, however, it had lessened when I realized Lara was crying. Somehow, I think this has to do with what Lara and I had done last night, but I don't know how I am sure of that, though I am. Perhaps Lara may know and understand better than me as she has been a dragoness far longer than I have been a dragon and I'm still kind of new at this. I won't say no to the knowledge that would help me understand. I proceeded to comfort the dragoness, in hopes that she could answer my question. When I had calmed her down, I broached the subject, "Lara, this may seem an odd question, but what kind of changes happen when a dragoness and dragon mate with each other, besides them becoming a couple?"

Lara emerged from the place she had buried her head into my neck and stared at me with an expression of curiosity. "I would never have thought you would ask that kind of question," she replied. "Well, as far as I know, and have been told, both become more attuned to the other or something like that to confirm the bond between them."

Attuned is it? That's rather vague for an explanation, but that is draconic thinking for you as I have seen it. I don't appreciate that lack of explanation, but I'm unfortunately coming to accept that's the way that the dragon race thinks. It frustrates me and will continue to do so, but it isn't something that I can change any time soon. Nonetheless, I suppose what has been happened might fall under that category in a way, still, some more information would be nice and helpful. "Would that mean that say, one might have the compulsion to do things they would not ordinarily do to make the other happy?"

Lara seemed to be contemplating my question and I waited for her answer with some feelings of apprehension. "I guess that is quite possible, I do not know," she answered.

I'll take that as a yes indeedy, that's very likely and I believe I'm starting to get a bit of a view of what has been possibly happening to me. In a way, I have really been fighting another and they have been pulling me down into… submission, but it's not a person per se. Great, I think I have been fighting myself or rather my draconic instincts that have probably just reawakened from the great length of time they have been dormant and so have been doing its thing with a vengeance.

That's peachy, I've been having the most psychological and philosophical standoff going on in my head, intelligence verse instinct. However, in my case, it is a tad different than just those two ideas going at each other. I have human intelligence duking it out with draconic instinct in a battle royal with winner takes all. This match has been raging in me and I wasn't aware of the two who were going at each other, just perfect. Well, if I needed any other proof that Lara and I were now mates, I certainly had it now. My instincts were trying to persuade me which translated into them pretty much force me to do whatever would make her the happiest.

So then, what do I do now?! Will these urges die down and be satisfied if I… say mate with Lara as they are attempting to drive me to do? This really isn't my day today, is it? I don't know what to do at this point, "Hey Lara," I started.

She gave me her attention. I needed to be careful about how I word this, the problem is I can't think clearly at the current moment, as the miasma or guess instincts are still at work and were trying to pull me down again slowly but surely. "I know you have said and implied that you wish to be," I hesitated, "mates, you and I." I paused for a moment then kept going, "Do you still feel that way?"

If Lara's head were to move any faster and harder up and down I fear her neck might snap. She definitely wants to be my mate, that's flattering and all, still I don't know if I'm ready for this kind of step. Truthfully, I really don't think I am as I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Yet, I doubt my instincts were going to let me get out of this kind of thing. I was going into this and no matter how much I resisted, my instincts wouldn't be denied. "Well, those 'dreams' you had last night as well as the ones I had, I believe they were not dreams. In fact, I am fairly sure they actually happened between you and me." I sighed, "Simply put, I believe we mated last night while we were dealing with the effects of the fruit."

"But I cannot remember anything like that," Lara said flustered, "All I can recall are the dreams."

Lara looked panicked about the idea of us actually mating and neither of us remembering the event. If only she could understand the effects of alcohol on people, and dragon kind apparently. The miasma tugged on me as if to give me a reminder to move this explanation along and get to things… more active with Lara. "Unfortunately that is another effect of alcohol, gaps in memory," I stated.

Lara's face would go from being joy one moment to being worry the next then changing to confusion. I felt sorry for Lara as this has to be very hard to understand for her, "How can you be sure," she asked desperately.

How can I be sure she asks, really? I have had to see what alcohol does for around a decade and you wouldn't expect me to not know the signs. I have seen the signs of these effects from my uncle and those signs have been presented in a near-identical manner to me as they were to him. Still, that means she does still want to be mates, at least she isn't against the idea we now find ourselves in. That's not to say I am… I just feel like this is… kind of forced on the both of us and I don't like to be forced into things at all. "The urges," I began, "I think those would be my draconic instincts coming into play. They have not done this until now, in fact, they have never come up at all. By what you say, mating could," I hesitated, "would very likely make said instincts present and active."

"You," Lara started, "do not," she paused, "like the idea of me," she hesitated, "being your mate?"

My ears sharpened their pick up at the tones in Lara's voice as they were distinct. Lara sounded more than depressed, she bordered on sounding suicidal! That's very bad in several different ways that words don't accurately say! I would have a very hard time living with myself if the one who is supposed to be my mate kills themselves after spending only a little time with me! I have enough difficulty living with myself already, so I don't need to add to that burden! "I have never said that I was against the idea of a mate and not you by any means," I replied, "I am just not ready for one I," I hesitated, "I…"

I was falling into one of my depressions I get when I broach the subject of something I fear or don't want to face and deal with. In short, relationships aren't a subject I like talking about as I'm bad at them and haven't been able to improve much at all and that wasn't due completely to lack of effort on my part. Lara unbeknownst to me, came up eliminating the remaining distance between us and put her face almost literally into mine. When I refocused my sight, I became aware of her proximity to me instantly and it was closer than I wanted right now. Lara's snout wasn't touching mine, but there was only a millimeter or less that made that so. "Whoa," I exclaimed.

I attempted to back up and make some space, but Lara moved forward at the same time I started backing up. After a few steps, I fell… well, not exactly backward, yet sort of twisted sideways and ended out as if I had fallen backward. I hit the ground and Lara followed a couple of seconds after me. In other words, so she toppled over and lay on top of me with her following me so closely. So, once again both of us were on the ground in the position of one on top of the other. I was trying to reassert some semblance of order when Lara who had slid off of me partially. She recovered fully first and got back on top of me, pinning me down to the ground. When I looked up at Lara's face to be met with a serious expression and I don't like where this is going right now. "You say you have not been ready for a mate, why," she just about demanded of me.

Well, crap… how do I answer that?! I can't just tell her! She wouldn't understand my reasons! So, what can I say in my defense?!

[Saber, you are getting yourself into hot water, best to just tell her the truth.]

Whose side are you on Narrator? Are you conspiring against me and helping Lara get me into the sack?! "I," I started but hesitated, "I do not know."

I was for one of those rare times lying. I knew it and I don't doubt the dragoness above me knew I was as well. I knew exactly why I hadn't been ready for a mate, or rather for that type of relationship, such a position requires. I just didn't want to say or admit the reason for it would be to my shame. It had always been so for me. However, that didn't mean I felt the need to confess it to anyone else! She can interrogate all she wants, I shall not be moved in this!

[You're on your own for this one, have fun paying the price for lying to a woman.]

"You are lying, you do have a reason," Lara stated, "You just do not want to say that reason." The dragoness then narrowed her eyes as she pinned me with her gaze, "But you will tell me the reason you have been avoiding this, I want to know why you have made me wait."

The way Lara had stated what she expected or rather demanded me in a way that left no room for me to get out of this without it getting messy. I began to sweat and my resolve that I had mere moments ago became strained. Dang you Narrator for being right so much, help me out here!

[Nope, said you're on your own, have fun lying in the bed you've made for yourself.]

Thanks for ! $ # & nothing Narrator! I tried to look away from Lara as she glared at me hoping that she wouldn't make me answer her demand. Stupid I know, but it was the best thing I could think to do with the pressure I was under right now. However, Lara used the middle joint of her wings to force my head to face her and not let me look away. Honestly, I didn't know that dragonesses or dragons, in general, could do that kind of movement with their wings, it's pretty cool. Nevertheless, with the position I was in, this isn't a good time to notice that point. Dang it, why does Lara have to stare at me like that, it isn't fair and she's doing things to me! "I just," I stuttered.

My ironclad will was starting to give under pressure as the mental walls I had erected over the years to protect myself from others being able to hurt me began to crack. Lara didn't stop glaring at me if anything her glare intensified with my lack of explanation. It was wearing me down as it had before and I didn't like it and what was coming with it. I felt one of the feelings I hated and had buried deep within clawing its way up in me. I tried hard to prevent the feeling from coming to the forefront, but I wasn't able to in my current condition. No, she's about to hear another of my dirty dark secrets!

The mental barriers crumbled around me, "I," I attempted to stop, but it wasn't going to happen. "I am afraid of," one more effort was made to prevent the secret from getting out, but it failed. NO," I screeched out yet what I had been holding in came flooding out. "I am afraid of being abandoned and left completely alone again like I always have been!" I was surprised just how it felt to get the weight that this secret had off my back, "There I said it," I admitted in a quieter voice, "I hate being alone." I wish I could have stopped there, but there is something about Lara that doesn't let me do that. "I don't open up to others because I am scared that when they get to know me that they will leave and never come back, it has happened many times before. The few times I did try opening up, the one I do that for leaves and I never see them again. So, I keep a distance from other as I will just be left alone by those around me."

I was breathing hard after that unwanted confession as I had admitted one of the shameful emotions I had buried long ago. The emotions and pain from the earlier years of my life I had buried to stop them from affecting me and made sure it would never see the light of day again. I had been alone for a long time, and I hated every moment of it admittedly even if I never said it to anyone else. I wanted to have relationships, I just didn't know how to make or maintain them since I've never been able to learn how to do so well enough to have real friends. Then on two different occasions, I had tried to get closer to another, both of them had left shortly after and I have never seen them again. I isolated myself for survival and to not feel the pain anymore.

"Saber," Lara uttered, "I had no idea."

Of course, she would never know, and it's for good reason she and everyone else wouldn't know. I made sure of it since I don't want anyone knowing about this issue I had. It is how the pain starts and I don't want to feel that kind of pain again. "Of course, you would not," I snapped. "I have gone to great lengths to make sure that no one does! I have done this to point that it has become an ingrained habit for me. I have told you several times," I paused, "I have been on my own for a long time and always had to depend on myself to make it through what comes. I did not have a childhood, I had to look out for myself and that forced me to have to grow up quick. There has been really no one, only Master Kai and that is all."

I closed my eyes to shut out the memories and feelings of loneliness that were swelling up in me. I was holding back the tears of hate and misery when I felt something that I assumed to be Lara's head rubbing against my right cheek. My eyes shot open and I saw I had been right, yet there was more to what she was doing. Not only was she caressing my cheek with her own, but she was also hugging me though not in a possessive manner, but in a way as I have never experienced. Lara also wrapped her wings around me tightening her embrace I was in and it was all in a caring and loving way no one had ever shown me. Not even in memories I couldn't recall clearly had I felt this type of feeling. "I am sorry," Lara said, "I guess I never noticed that you wanted someone to be able to be closer to, a real friend, like Koren was."

I couldn't think of a reply to that for Lara had said what I had not. I had always felt something had been missing from my life for a long time. When I left the dragon realm I lost my memory, yet I still knew that something had been absent or at least my heart knew. I could never identify what was missing, still, I could tell there was something absent. My mind had dismissed this feeling as something that didn't make sense, yet it was always there ever haunting me. What Lara had said had hit home for me, as I'd been feeling the hole where Koren had his place in. I had tried to fill that place a few times yet I had failed to be able to fill that place that my last true friend had. Spyro and Seth have become good friends, but not true friends yet, though they I would say could get there soon enough. The others were working their way to that state of relationship with me. It has taken me time to open up to others yet, none of them had quite been able to fill that space Koren had left.

"I will never leave you," Lara continued, "You do not have to be alone."

This dragoness keeps taking me by surprise left and right so much that I am unable to predict her actions like I can others. I was trying so hard to hold back the tears I had suppressed for so long, yet some began to escape and trickle down slowly. I never had shown this part of me to anyone, not even Master Kai that is my view of my own outward persona. To say how I view what I must come off to others is abysmal and was built that way over the years of abuse and neglect. "Why would you waste time on me," I questioned without being able to help myself, "What is so special about me? I am nothing," I hesitated, "to waste your time on."

Yes, this is an insecurity of mine and don't mistake this for self-esteem as this isn't the exact same. It is a bit different as this is how I believe others would and probably see me whereas self-esteem is more confidence in one's own worth or abilities. In short, I have a hard time seeing how others around me could ever accept me for myself as I sometimes have difficulty accepting me for who I am. I live without regret, yet those around me don't and so I stick out like a sore thumb. Lara licked my cheek before she continued, "Why you ask," she said with a smile, "Because you are yourself, that is enough for me."

This just baffled and shocking to me, since no one save Master Kai had ever accepted me for being me completely. Granted, there had been a few that could tolerate being around me and could to a degree be seen as friends, but this was different. The firm hold I had on my emotions broke and I couldn't hold back the emotions that built up over the years of hell and misery I have been drug through and endured. For the first time in more than a decade, I cried and couldn't stop myself and Lara just hugged me as did so. After some time had passed and I had managed to stop the tears that came from me. I detest being so emotional and usually can curtail them, but I couldn't help it with Lara. There is something about her that makes me do things I would never ever normally do with anyone. "I am sorry that you had to see me like this," I said.

Lara smiled and licked my nose, which surprised me slightly as it felt, unlike anything I have received before. My draconic instincts reaffirmed their presence and reminded me of the need they had been telling me before. If I didn't move this along, then they would without my permission and I would no longer have any say in the matter. "It is fine, you needed to do that," Lara replied.

What is it about this girl that affects me like this? Well, she has seen me at my worse so, I can't see what can happen that would have her hate me and avoid me that I haven't already done. So I suppose that I need to thank her, "Thanks Lara. It is really nice of you to do this. I," pausing for a moment, "you shouldn't need to see me like this."

Lara leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips which was not just the caring gestures she'd been giving me. Okay, she is starting to take this a little too far though my instincts were disagreeing with my view. However, now the question comes to one point, can I open up to her? Should I risk being hurt again? "Everyone has a hard time they have to go through, none should go through it alone," Lara said.

Now I'm glad about how things are going and all, don't get me wrong in this, it is just, what happens now? I mean if we're technical mates now, where do we go on from here? I decided to ask what Lara had in mind, "So Lara, what do we do now," I posed.

-Lara's pov-

To learn that Saber had been so alone hurt, but it also allowed me to tell and show that he wasn't alone anymore. Yes, there was still an urge within me to mate with Saber going through my mind, but I could ignore it for a time and he needed to get these bad feelings out. It also told me that Saber didn't have a very good view of himself when it came to others and it seemed to have built over time. I could understand the feeling in a way, it was slightly different for me, but not by a great deal. Growing up, I had the burden of defeating the Dark Master shoved upon my shoulders without being asked, just because I was a purple dragoness. So, to be seen for what others think and not for who you are is something familiar to me so I could relate.

Then Saber had questioned what to do next and that had brought the before mentioned urge back to the front of my mind. Saber and I were alone right now, none would disturb us and the images that I could recall wouldn't be enough for me. So, I smiled sweetly at Saber, "Well, I can think of a few interesting ideas for us to do," I said as I moved closer to him.

Saber began backing away when I moved forward, but I followed him working on eliminating the distance between us. It took a few minutes, but I cornered Saber with a rock behind him and nowhere else to go.

[I believe the phrase you are going for Lara is "trapped between a rock and a hard place".]

Um maybe, I never heard the human phrase, but it sounds right, thank you mister Narrator.

[You are quite welcome, and I think it is time for me to be absent for a bit, good luck.]

I closed the rest of the distance my gaze locking onto Saber's who was looking somewhat nervous. The expression made him look cute and yet handsome and produced a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. I attempted to nuzzle his cheek to help calm him, but Saber kept turning his head away before I reached him. I can understand being nervous about things you have not done though it seems out of character for Saber. However, I am sure by the end of this our relationship will improve, I will do my utmost to have that. "Do not be scared Saber, I promise this will be amazing for both of us," I assured.

I was doing my best to coax Saber to calm down, if what he said was true, then we had already mated once. Plus, I wanted to show him that I loved him for who he has become even if he thinks that he should be avoided. I know that he has good within him even when it appears that he does not, especially around the dragonfly Sparx. And he seemed to be in a fight with himself and that was not doing much for him but cause him difficulty. Then the next moment, Saber lunged and tackling me to the ground in an embrace of sorts.

Saber ended out standing over me and I was between his paws which actually felt wonderful to be between. I felt safe with Saber over me as I know that he wouldn't intentionally hurt me even during this kind of activity. Then, the sensation of our scales rubbing against each other's felt amazing, so much so that my breathing hitched as the pleasure surged through me. And things just got better when Saber pressed his maw against mine, which was the first time that he had initiated a kiss with me. Of course, I pushed back in the kiss, happy to be where I was with Saber at this moment, it was where I belonged.

[Dear Readers, if you were expecting to have the scene between Lara and Saber described to you in detail, then I'm afraid you will be disappointed. It is a private moment between the two and they don't get that often, so there will be no show.]

Both Saber and I were breathing hard as we came down off the experience we had flown, embracing one another as if we were lifelines for the other. Words could not describe the activity that Saber and I had done and do it proper justice. It had felt completely right as well as beyond wonderful to be connected with Saber, I only wish he and I had discovered this sooner. And I knew that the experience was more wonderful because I did it with Saber and no one else. I now felt much closer to Saber and understanding him than I did before and I am so happy that is the case.

I had always heard that mating strengthens the bond between dragon and dragoness from others. It had not made a great deal of sense before, it had been a mystery to me but no longer was what they said. I felt so close to Saber and that was enough for me as to have been able to mate with him and confirm our connection was amazing. So though I was tired, it was well worth the exhaustion I was experiencing for the rewards that came from the efforts.

At the current moment, Saber was on his back with me laying on top hugging him with my paws. And the better point to this that was a change between us from how things tended to be before now, Saber was embracing me back. Saber slowly rolled to his side holding onto me as he shifted with his paws and wings wrapped around me. I kept my hold on him as I was not about to let go of him, tired as I was. Once we settled down, I moved my head so that I could lick Saber's cheek lovingly for a bit. Then I voiced my current feelings for him, "Saber, I love you."

Saber stared at me with an expression of a slight shock to which I smiled happily back at for I did love Saber with all my heart. I looked forward to the life that we would share together going forward side by side. No matter what may come, I fully intend to stick by Saber and he will not be rid of me, nor will he lose me. After having to watch my mother fall into depression when my dad went off and never came back, I will do whatever I can to prevent that from happening to me.

I continued to stare at Saber and a smile came to his face though this smile was somewhat different than the ones I have seen before, it seemed more real and genuine. Then Saber leaned forward and pressed his maw to mine softly. I pressed back and crooned quietly as I approved of this action and wanted Saber to do it more often. Saber then pulled back a bit, "I love you too Lara," he said. My heart soared at hearing Saber say that and I snuggled up against him so happy and glad I had found a mate like him.

-Saber's pov-

Well, I suppose that it can be stated pretty simply at the moment, but Lara and I did the deed and there really isn't a way to deny that anymore. It had been a different experience for me as I've never really known what it is to be close or intimate with another. It comes since I'm normally considered an outcast by those around me among other things by most around. That said, Lara wanting to be around me isn't exactly new, but it is definitely rare and unusual. I'm not exactly complaining as I'm not in a position to effectively do that as recent events are pretty much foreign to me.

I mean honestly, the activity with Lara had been beyond freaking amazing to do and I wouldn't lie about that. And I haven't a clue if it was because I did the idea with Lara or if it was something else, the answer is just beyond me. But at the moment, I was laying on my side with Lara snuggled against me and purring if my ears are working right. Then Lara had licked my face and said the three words I had long ago accepted I would never hear from anyone, "Saber, I love you."

I'd looked at Lara in slight shock and joy as I saw that she was staring at me with an expression of happiness and satisfaction. She'd looked radiant and absolutely beautiful right now in my eyes as she had kept looking at me. Now, we were mates and there was no way to take that back by this point and I know that and am okay about it for the time being. I think I can live with this and even grow to enjoy being with Lara yet there are still a lot of unknowns.

This dragoness somehow had an effect on me that I can't explain well, in good and bad ways. She compensates for me when my faults make their appearance somehow which is weird, yet she also can have me spill secrets too which I don't like. However, this could be my instincts talking for me but I don't know at this time. I think there's something in me that isn't my instincts which are growing and developing feelings for Lara. Whether those feelings are those of love or not; is something I can't determine yet. Still, I definitely feel something for Lara, there's no doubt about that, I guess we will see where this goes then, shan't we?

I'd a rare genuine smile that had come to me before I'd leaned forward and pressed my maw against hers softly kissing her. Lara quickly returned the gesture humming what I think was approval to what I was doing. I had told her that I loved her even though I don't know if that is completely true yet, but the response had made Lara happy. Heck, we were both obviously exhausted after our activity of mating with each other and rutting multiple times.

And I'm not saying that there weren't benefits or any regret with what we did for none come to mind. Truthfully, I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around what possible reasons that Lara could have to choose me as a mate let alone spend time with me. I don't doubt she could choose between several dragons to be with. That just brings the question that I would bet most guys have asked themselves at one point or another if not many times, "why did this girl choose me?" And Lara's answer to me being myself makes no sense as that's usually the reason people are repelled by me.

[That is because your views are not the same as those that others have.]

You still have inconvenient timing Narrator, you mind keeping your opinions to yourself. Anyway, Lara and I could use a short nap before we head back to Warfang I would think with how… energetic we had been with one another. There would be an explanation to give to our friends when we got back and not all of those would be pretty. Tarra at least I would guess won't take Lara and me being together well as she had wanted the position if I'm not mistaken.

So, I returned my gaze back to Lara who was settling herself against me and already looked to be getting comfortable. The grass that we had ended out on was comfortable enough and the trees around us shaded us from the light of day. That being the case, I shifted into a more comfortable position securing the hold that I had Lara in. For some reason, I wanted to keep her close to myself, it felt warm and comforting. After we settled from our shifting, we quickly fell asleep Lara first followed by me shortly dropping off.

When I woke up next, I found Lara still cuddled up with me and we were under the trees we had fallen asleep under. I was left to my own thoughts as I stared at the purple dragoness with me as I still have a hard time seeing why Lara would want to be around me. In hindsight, I must admit I have been naïve, shortsighted, idiotic and just plain stupid about things that involved Lara. How do you ask? Well, let's just say that… the actual deed of mating with Lara now being said and done with me being able to clearly remember the experience, I feel like a real dunce of an idiot.

I'm seriously left to wonder why I was so against this in the first place now for it doesn't make sense now. The experience had been very pleasurable even I have to confess that. I mean, what words can I use to describe what Lara and I did together? Awesome maybe? No, it was more than awesome, that's for sure! Marvelous? Again, not enough meaning in the word. Unbelievable? That's an understatement dear golly is it ever! With the things Lara did, I didn't know that dragonesses could move like that! Wonderful? Yes, I suppose that could work through it still just doesn't quite say the whole feeling of the event. A dilemma for me to work on later, but back to the matter at the moment that needs attention.

Lara currently had her forepaws around me and was positioned with her right paw against my chest and her left paw was clutching me around my underbelly. Then, her hind paws were in similar places, her left was holding me around my middle a little forward of my hips while her right was entwined in my own right leg. Also, Lara's tail was firmly wrapped around my own and then, Lara's head was nestled against my neck. Upon studying Lara's face, I noticed that she had a very contented smile plastered on it which I could understand.

And to think I find myself in this position for I definitely a place I'd never thought I would be in during my lifetime. That's right me, the non-normal male that has never really belonged is now, cuddled up with a girl after we did it, the irony of it is funny. The expression of contentment that Lara had I could understand as I was well satisfied in the activity we did with one another. This is one of those facts and lessons of life when you make your bed then lie in it and like it, that point can be true sometimes even for me.

And yet, we really needed to get back to Warfang today for several reasons that stand and shouldn't be ignored. There will be others, specifically our friends will be worried about the two of us being away and that made a risk of them going out looking for us. I would rather like to avoid putting others in potential danger because of me, I do that enough for myself. However, with Lara sleeping, as she was the task was more difficult and I wouldn't leave her here. I repel enough people with how I am, I don't need to add to the list of those that can stand me somehow.

So, I shifted to wake Lara up, but she didn't stir a great deal though she did moan quietly in such a way that got my attention. Her moan was very cute and caused my heart to skip a beat, then Lara rubbed herself against me. The rubbing did spark things in my brain even as Lara just continued to snuggle with me. I shook my head vigorously to rid myself of such thoughts that had come from Lara's reaction to me moving as that was what had us napping in the first place. And so, it would seem this will be harder than I thought, not that I will stop trying to wake this dragoness.

"Lara," I whispered into Lara's ear.

Lara stirred again at the sound of my voice, yet she merely changed her position a little before settling and began purring as she continued to sleep. Okay, she's very cute like this and her purring does add to her cuteness, I can't deny that without lying but there are things to do today. That in mind, I tried to rise up to a sitting position but found Lara clinging and pulling me back down by what I would guess was a reflex, still purring. The vibration was interesting and everything, yet we need to get going and there will be no refusal in that, I'll personally make sure of that.

After another moment, I decided that some other method was needed to get the results that I saw was needed. I'd hoped to avoid using a 'threat' to get Lara up, but as she wasn't reacting to my other attempts in the manner that I was going for. "Lara, if you do not get up then Tarra will drag me off and not give me back," I whispered a little louder than my previous remark.

It was mean for Tarra more than to me, but this was to get Lara to wake up so that we can get going. I wasn't serious about saying Tarra dragging me off, I can't see her doing that even if she were in heat. The response was immediate, Lara's head snapped up fully alert and then things happened fast. Next thing I knew, my underbelly was pressed to the ground and Lara was protectively standing over me. Lara used her body to cover mine with her wings wrapped around the majority of my sides to prevent I assume the situation I had said from happening. She ever let out a low growl and her gaze sweeping from side to side looking for threats.

I cleared my throat to get her attention, "Awake then are you Lara," I posed.

My question acted as a trigger, which got Lara to look down at me straight into my eyes an expression of anger on it now. "That was not funny," she snapped at me.

What I said might not be funny though her reaction certainly is to me, but I controlled myself and didn't laugh at what Lara was doing. "What I said was not meant to be, but you were being stubborn about sleeping and so I used means to get you up and by golly by gosh they worked. So, turning to the standing matter, we should really be getting back to Warfang. I would bet our friends are worried about us since we both went off on our own during these dangerous times," I reasoned.

Lara's response was her rubbing her right cheek against mine, "I would not mind spending some more time with just you," she said lovingly.

…Not that I wouldn't agree that being with Lara isn't… enjoyable for it has been even if this dragoness can frustrate me so at times with what she does. Be that as it may, we really should get back before anyone else goes out looking. I mean, I'm still reeling from what we did and so, I need time to take it in and process the consequences of the event. And yet, when I think about mating with Lara the things I would consider doing so that I could experience such an activity again, the things I would endure… it's scary just thinking about it! However, we need to get our priorities straight and in order. "Sorry to say that such a thing will have to take place later Lara. If we do not get back to Warfang soon, someone will come out and be in danger while they look for us."

Lara nodded a tad dejectedly at my statement and I have to confess she looked very cute doing the action. In fact, I couldn't help my eyes rolling at her reaction, I'll internally admit she likes me and is my mate now, but does she have to be so cute doing it?! So, to cheer her up I lowered my head so that I could rub it along the underside of her jaw for a moment, which she appeared to like very much. At least it got her to perk up before I walk past her and went five full paces before I stopped and turned to Lara, "Shall we go then," I asked. Lara scrambled and caught up with me and after we walked a small distance we took flight and started our journey back towards Warfang.

Chapter End

A/n

Okay and this is where I will leave off. So, this chapter, yeah there were a number of changes that I didn't expect going into it I admit. Lara's parts are one point that I mean, though I think they fit in quite well after making them. Their differing view do I think tell more than just one's would and so I wanted to make more depth. And the arguments with the Narrator is just my musings of fun and teasing my own characters which is a perk of being the writer. Anyways, some of you write reviews to tell me what you think, thanks for reading.