Chapter 56

That Thursday, Penguin and Killer decided to have lunch together. Of course, Penguin had asked Shachi if he was okay with it, but Shachi seemed to start to get along with Heat and Wire, so he agreed. Killer and Penguin had spent quite a few breaks together already, but during lunch break, they usually still sat with their respective friends. Penguin felt a little bad at first to be hanging around Killer so much at school, and he tried to keep the amount of kissing to a minimum around his friend, because he knew how awkward Shachi felt when he had to witness that. But at the same time it was incredibly hard, because he wanted to kiss Killer a lot, and he also really didn't want to hide it anymore. So, he was relieved when Shachi said he was okay with joining Killer's group for lunch that day.

Shachi was chatting away with Heat and Wire, while Penguin was occupying Killer's lap, kissing him passionately. They had decided to sit in a corner to make out, though, instead of in full few of everyone in the canteen. This benefitted everyone, as the other students didn't have to watch, and Killer and Penguin felt a little more like they had some privacy. But they were still in the canteen.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Bonney interrupted them. "It's lunch break after all."

The couple broke their kiss, and Killer looked at his friend with a devious little smile. "Unfortunately, it's not acceptable if I eat my favorite meat in here." He winked at Penguin.

Penguin felt himself blush, while Bonney groaned. "Ah, gross, Killer!"

Killer smirked. "Not gross at all. How many dicks have you sucked?"

Bonney huffed, and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him. "…None…"

Killer cocked his head as if to say 'point proven'. "We'll talk again when you do. Then you'll know how good it is."

"Killer…" Penguin complained softly, feeling embarrassed Killer was able to talk so easily about sex.

Killer looked at him. "What, do you disagree?" he asked teasingly.

Penguin got even redder. "I… no… I just don't think that's what she meant." He brushed a strand of hair out of Killer's face. "I think she meant it was gross you shared that information."

"Thank you, Penguin," Bonney said. "I did. But once I suck a dick, I'll tell you about it in detail, Killer," she said in a way as if she thought that would teach him a lesson. Then she seemed to regret it a little bit already. "…Maybe."

Killer snorted and went back to kissing Penguin. Penguin pulled back, feeling slightly awkward as he still felt Bonney's eyes on them, but Killer just continued kissing his jaw and neck.

"Do you ever even do anything else than kissing?" Bonney asked. "And I don't mean anything sexual, I mean do you ever even talk? Do you actually know things about each other?"

"Of course!" Penguin immediately protested.

"Don't be so mean, Bonney," Killer commented. "Of course we talk."

"Yeah?" Bonney said as if she didn't believe them. "Okay, Penguin, what is Killer's favorite color?"

"Blue," Penguin answered without hesitation. That was an easy question. Killer nodded approvingly.

"Okay… what's his favorite food?" Bonney tried again.

"Pasta." Penguin smiled. "With garlic and extra peppers."

Killer smirked. "You know me too well."

"I'm gonna ace this quiz," Penguin said playfully.

"Favorite animal?" Bonney kept trying.

A wide grin took over Penguin's face as he turned his head to face Bonney. "Penguin," he said jokingly.

Bonney rolled her eyes, as Killer started chuckling. "So true," he said, and placed another kiss on Penguin's jaw.

"I don't believe you," Bonney said. "You look like a weasel type to me. Anyway, maybe these questions were too easy." She thought about it for a moment. "Killer, what does Penguin's mother do for a living?"

Penguin felt Killer's playfulness disappear, and he pulled Penguin a little closer to hug him tightly. "Penguin's mother passed away when he was five."

"Oh." Bonney's face suddenly became serious. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's okay," Penguin assured her. "It was a long time ago."

"Still…" She seemed to feel a little guilty nonetheless – which really wasn't necessary in Penguin's opinion. "Well, you do seem to talk a bit sometimes," she admitted. "But you should also eat lunch."

"I second that," Shachi's voice came from the other side of the table.

Killer looked Penguin in the eyes. "You wanna eat lunch?" he asked quietly.

Penguin hesitated for a moment. He really wanted to keep sitting in Killer's lap and spend the rest of their break kissing and snuggling with him, but at the same time he was kinda hungry. "Hmmm, what if we ate lunch now, and you come over to my house after school and we can continue this then?" He suggested. "Maybe I can convince my father to let you stay the night again." Penguin doubted it, since it was a school night, but maybe, just maybe, he could convince Law.

Killer chuckled. "Did he buy noise cancelling headphones or something? Because I'm pretty sure he won't let me sleep over again until he does."

Penguin couldn't fight the blush off his cheeks. "We can be quiet…"

Killer nipped at Penguin's bottom lip. "I can be quiet; I don't think you can. In fact, I dare wager something big on it."

That spiked Penguin's interest. He could definitely be quiet if he really tried… "How big?"

Killer shrugged. "You name it."

Penguin didn't need to think about that. "You'll tell your father."

"Heh, sure." Killer smirked at him.

Penguin was a little surprised he went along with it so easily. "Really? I mean, tell him about us, tell him that you're gay."

"Yeah," Killer answered confidently. "If you can keep quiet while I fuck your brains out, I'll tell my father about us. I'm fairly certain that won't happen."

Penguin was glad Killer was talking in a hushed tone, because he did not need anyone else to hear that. "Hmm, challenge accepted." He kissed Killer on his lips, and then he brought his mouth towards Killer's ear and whispered, "Can't wait for you to fuck my brains out."

The two of them had spent the afternoon kissing on the couch, and when Law came home, he had made no problem of Killer staying for dinner. Killer slowly began to get used to Law, he noticed, feeling a little less awkward in his company then he'd done at the beginning. He guessed it helped that Law had accepted the fact that Penguin and he were having sex, and wasn't trying so hard to stop Killer anymore.

"So… dad…" Penguin started when they were just finishing desert. He had put on his sweetest voice again.

Law sighed. "Sure, as long as you wash the dishes, and wake up in time to go to school tomorrow," He answered the question before it was asked.

Both Killer and Penguin blinked surprised at him. "Wha– You don't even know what I was going to ask!" Penguin protested.

"Don't I?" Law said sweetly. "So, you weren't going to ask if Killer could stay the night?"

Killer looked at Penguin, and Penguin looked back at him for a moment, before returning his attention to his father again. "Well… Maybe… Yeah, I was going to ask that… So, that's okay?"

"I trust you have enough responsibility to get the sleep you need to be able to pay attention at school tomorrow," Law said, but the tone in which he said it, made Killer think he didn't trust them at all, but tried to put a sense of responsibility in them anyway. "After what happened a while back, I think you both realize this is your chance to prove to me that you do take your education seriously."

Neither of them answered, but Killer knew that if he would do anything to contradict that, Law would probably never forgive him. So, whether they would prove they took their education seriously or that they took Law seriously, it would have the same result; they could not be late for school tomorrow and they'd at least have to look well rested.

Killer finally nodded. "Of course," he promised.

"Well then, if you do the dishes together, it's fine." Law waited for them to nod in agreement again, before he continued. "However, if you're staying the night, I won't get any sleep here. So I will go and sleep over at my own lover." He winked at them – no, Killer was almost certain Law winked at him specifically.

Why? What did that mean? Why did he have to wink at Killer? Killer suddenly felt a little awkward again. And Law had a lover? It was the first time he heard about it. He looked at Penguin to see if he knew anything about it. The incredibly awkward and annoyed look Penguin wore on his face, told him he did, but felt embarrassed by it.

Penguin rolled his eyes. "Fine. Go ahead. See if you get much sleep there."

Law burst out laughing. "Probably not. But it'd be for much better reasons than here."

"I meant because you never sleep well in another bed than your own! Fucking hell, dad!" Penguin exclaimed embarrassed.

Law smirked as he got up. "Well, I'll go get ready then. I probably don't have to keep repeating this, but… you'll keep using protection, right?"

"Fuck off," Penguin said, still annoyed and embarrassed.

"Penguin," Law spoke in a correcting manner. "I can still change my mind."

This seemed to give Penguin a change in attitude, and he quickly apologized. "Sorry. We will."

"Good. I'll make sure I'll be back early, tomorrow morning, to make sure you get up in time for school." Law looked at Killer. "Killer, will you call your father to let him know you're sleeping here?"

Killer frowned. "I will call him to let him know I'm sleeping at a friend's, yes." He had already packed his stuff for the night before he went to Penguin's house, so a call was all that would be necessary.

"Yeah, that's what I meant." Law nodded. "Good, don't make him wait." And with that, Law left the kitchen.

Killer looked at his boyfriend in an investigating manner. "Lover?" he repeated Law's use of words. He was kind of curious about Law's lover.

Penguin looked back at him, and rolled his eyes again. "I know, that's new…" He shook his head. "Let's forget we ever heard that. Any of that."

"Oh… okay…" Killer was a little confused, but apparently Penguin was too embarrassed to talk about his father's lover.

"Just… call him, so we can do better things," Penguin suggested.

Killer leaned forward to kiss him. "I will." He stood up and walked towards the corner of the kitchen to get a little more privacy, while he selected his father's number on his phone.

It took a few moments before Kid answered. "Whassup?"

"Hey," Killer greeted back, ignoring how his father tried to be cool. "I'm just letting you know that I'll sleep over at Heat's place tonight." He had already asked Heat if he could tell his father that, and Heat had promised he would back him up if needed.

"You will, huh? On a school night?" Kid asked as if he didn't agree. "Does… Do Heat's parents agree with that?"

"Yeah, as long as we go to sleep early and get up in time for school. They'll make sure we won't be late," Killer answered.

"You had a sleepover just last week, though." Kid brought up. "Since when do you have so many sleepovers? What are you boys doing at night?"

Killer frowned. It was probably just his imagination, but that last question almost sounded suggestive to him. "We just… are playing a really long game that we want to finish. It's easier if I just sleep over here." He made up on the spot. He wondered when it had become so easy to lie to his father.

"Hm, okay, just this once." Kid was silent for a moment, and Killer wanted to thank him and hang up, but Kid spoke again just before he could. "Can I talk to Heat for a moment?"

Killer froze. Shit. He hadn't anticipated that. He looked around at Penguin, wondering how good his Heat impression would be, but decided not to test it. "Uh… Heat just left to take a piss. But you can text him, if there's anything you want to know. You've got his number."

"Hm," his father answered. "Well, have fun. I'll probably leave work early tomorrow, so we can catch up then."

"Yeah, thanks." Killer didn't know if there would be much to catch up on, there was nothing he would want to tell his father anyway, but if his father had something to tell, that was fine with him.

He hung up and turned towards Penguin. "He wanted to talk to Heat."

Penguin snorted. "Yeah, I don't think I would have been convincing," he confirmed Killer's thoughts. "But he accepted it?"

"Yeah, he said it was fine." Killer slowly walked towards his boyfriend, pulled his chair back, and carefully sat down on his lap. He pulled the cap from his head and kissed him tenderly on his lips for a few seconds. "Has your father left yet?"

A snort from the hallway startled him, and he felt a blush rise to his cheeks when he realized Law had heard him.

"Not yet," Law answered without feeling the need to show his face. Killer could hear him shuffling around, getting ready to leave. "By the way, don't forget to take Bepo out for his evening walk."

"Sure. Oh, dad?" Penguin called towards the hallway. "Since you're not here tonight… can we sleep in your bed?"

It was silent for a moment, until Law came standing in the doorway, looking at his son unamused. "No."

"Why not? My bed is way too small for us both, and yours is empty anyway." Penguin tried.

"Let me rephrase that," Law looked smugly at them. "Yes, you can sleep in my bed. No, you cannot have sex in my bed. If you can do the one without the other, then be my guest. If not…" He shrugged. "Put down the futon in your room again."

Damn, Penguin's father really didn't beat around the bush. Well, even though Killer felt a little embarrassed, he could still appreciate that. "I guess the futon it is then," he said teasingly, just to see how Law would react.

Law narrowed his eyes at him for a moment, but then chuckled, and shook his head. "Thought so." He zipped up his coat and put on his wooly hat. "Well, I'm off. See you at breakfast tomorrow."

"Bye," Penguin said, obviously happy his father would leave.

"Have fun," Killer added a little cheekily. If he was going to his lover, he'd probably have fun, right? He could understand why Penguin didn't feel the same way towards it though. He would probably not take it so lightly either, if it concerned his own father.

Law smiled a little surprised at him. "Thanks." And with that, he left the house.

Killer and Penguin spend the next hour and a half kissing, cleaning up the kitchen, walking Bepo, and kissing some more, with a bit of rubbing body parts against each other here and there. Even Bepo seemed to feel uncomfortable in their presence, but he was happy to be outside for a bit.

Eventually, they ended up on the couch, the TV turned on to watch a movie, but neither of them was paying attention to it. Killer lay with his back on the couch, his head on the armrest, Penguin on top of him, kissing the life out of him. When they parted, they were both panting.

"Hmm, this is such a good movie," Killer joked. He had unbuttoned Penguin's pants a little while ago, and now let his hands slip inside the back to knead his buttocks. They were so soft, and grabbable; Killer loved holding them in his hands.

Penguin moaned ever softly. "I agree; the thing I'm watching right now is the best I've ever seen," he said as he looked into Killer's eyes.

Killer chuckled. Penguin could be so cheesy sometimes. Well, so could he. "That's not true, you've looked into a mirror before." He teased Penguin's bottom lip with his tongue, before pressing a quick, soft kiss on it and pulling back.

Penguin looked back at him, amused. "Difference in taste, I guess."

Killer smirked. "Lucky me." He grabbed Penguin's ass a little tighter, pushing him down a bit to grind their crotches together in search of a little friction.

Penguin let out a breathy moan and started to kiss him hungrily again. Fuck, this was so nice, but Killer wanted more. "Let's move to your bedroom."

Penguin smirked at him. "Or not."

Killer frowned. "What do you mean?" Did Penguin not want to have sex? Killer couldn't imagine that.

"Well, my father said not to have sex in his bed, but… he never said anything about the rest of the house," he said with a mischievous spark in his eyes.

Yeah, that was more like Penguin. Killer decided to indulge him. "Where do you wanna do it?"

Penguin giggled. "Let's start on the couch…" He started kissing Killer's neck. "Maybe we can do it on the kitchen table later."

Killer chuckled and squeezed his ass again. "And after that?" he teased.

He felt Penguin smirk against his skin. "Wherever you want. We could use the whole house and my father would never know."

Fuck. Killer bucked his hips. Then a smirk crossed his face. "Including your father's bed… as long as we don't leave any evidence…"

Penguin stayed still for a moment, but then raised his head to look at Killer. "That's true… but that feels wrong somehow."

Killer laughed. "Well, let's start on the couch and see where we end up." He let his hands creep a little further into Penguin's pants and let a finger sneak between his buttocks, pressing softly against his hole. "All the stuff we need is still in your room, though."

Penguin bit his lip. "Let me get that really quick." He tried to get up, but Killer's hands on his ass prevented that. "You gotta take your hands out of my pants for me to do that," he commented.

"Hm, too bad," Killer replied, squeezing the soft flesh one more time, before removing his hands.

Penguin got up quickly and ran upstairs. Within a minute, he was back, his arms full of what appeared to be everything he could find in his drawer. Killer chuckled. It seemed like Penguin didn't want to risk having to run to his room again. He dropped all the items on the coffee table, and resumed his position on top of Killer.

He started kissing him lazily and sloppily, his hands creeping underneath the fabric of Killer's shirt. Killer shifted a little so Penguin could peel his shirt off of him, before wrapping his arms around him and kissing him again. They were not in a hurry; they had the whole night and the whole house to themselves, after all.

Eventually, Penguin broke the kiss. "Killer…" he started carefully. "Do you want to… like… switch positions today?"

Killer stiffened a bit. He had seen this question coming, but he wasn't quite prepared to answer yet. Yes, he wanted to do that for Penguin, but no, he didn't want to do that for himself. He was still torn by this.

He slowly started to rub circles on Penguin's lower back. "…What if I say no?"

Penguin shrugged, but averted his eyes. "That's okay… Of course you can say no. I just thought we would switch… You know, to make sure what works best for us."

Killer could clearly hear the disappointment in his voice, and it made guilt rise up in his chest. "I kinda really liked the way we did it last time… It worked pretty damn well for me. But if that's not the case for you, then I guess…"

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Penguin protested, his face red. "I really liked that too. But…" he shrugged again. "I don't know, I'm just curious what it feels like to top as well, and… I want to make you feel as amazing as I felt."

Killer smiled at his boyfriend, but inside he was only feeling guiltier. Of course Penguin wanted to know what it felt like. Killer was being extremely selfish to deny him that. "You're sweet. It's just… Yeah, it's probably stupid, but it doesn't… appeal to me at all."

Penguin frowned. "Okay… but, I mean, you did notice how I was enjoying myself last time? I can promise you it feels really nice."

Chuckling, Killer answered, "Oh, I believe you, and I noticed. That doesn't mean it will work for me too, though."

"Yeah, but how do you know if you haven't tried it?" Penguin didn't sound angry, just as if he was trying to understand him.

Killer sighed. "Yeah, you're right, I guess." He hugged Penguin tightly, taking a moment to make the decision to give Penguin what he wanted. "Okay, let's try it. I can't promise you how far I'll go, but if you really want it… I'm willing to try."

Penguin looked into his eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Killer lied. Of course, he wasn't sure. But for Penguin, he could do it. Even if he wasn't really into it, if Penguin was, then that was all that mattered. Penguin's pleasure had always been way more important to Killer than his own. If Penguin enjoyed himself, he usually did as well, so he would probably start enjoying it more once they were doing it, right? He cleared his throat. "So, ehm, do I need to prepare in some way? Do I need to douche or anything?" He might as well get the more unpleasant part over with.

Penguin looked a little hesitantly at him. "Well, uhm, I mean, you could, but it's best to do that at least an hour or so before you start doing things. So that would mean we'd have to wait pretty long before we can start."

Killer chuckled at Penguin's impatience. "Did you douche before I arrived?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah," Penguin answered with a blush on his face. "Just to be sure."

Killer nodded slowly. "Well, if you want me to douche, we can wait a little. We've got all night, after all."

Penguin pouted. "Or… you could just check really quick if you think it's necessary, and if you're already pretty clean, we can just go on with it," Penguin suggested.

Killer kissed him until the pout disappeared. "Okay, I will." He gave Penguin a soft push as a sign to give him some room to get up. Penguin got the hint and climbed off of him, sitting down on the other side of the couch, and giving Killer the room he needed. "So…" Killer suddenly felt a little embarrassed. "Do I just… put my finger up there and see if it comes out clean?"

Penguin chuckled. "Yeah." He grabbed the bottle of lube from the table and pressed it into Killer's hands. "Use this, or it'll probably be hard to get it in. We also got some moist wipes next to the toilet upstairs, you can use that on the outside first."

Killer looked at the lube and nodded. Penguin, moved closer to him again, and kissed him on his lips. "You don't have to be nervous. I'll take good care of you, I promise."

Killer couldn't stop a chuckle from escaping. The situation suddenly seemed so bizarre to him. So… reversed, and opposite from how it should be. "I know," he said, and grabbed Penguin's chin to kiss him again. He loved Penguin, and knowing it was Penguin he would do this with, made him already feel at ease a bit.

He stood up and took the lube with him towards the bathroom on the first floor. There he sat down on the toilet and let out a sigh. It might be a good thing he would put in his own finger first, just to get used to the sensation. After using the moist toilet paper Penguin had suggested – which came up mostly clean – Killer put some lube on his hand and made sure his fingers were slick. He took another deep breath, trying to relax, before he slowly pushed a finger inside.

Focusing on the feeling, he tried moving out a little, and then back in again. This is supposed to feel good? He wondered. It wasn't that it felt bad, but it didn't feel good either. It just felt… weird.

He pulled his finger out and studied it. It seemed clean to him. But doubt set in once again. Sure, maybe if Penguin did it, it would feel better than when he did it himself. But even when it was Penguin, the image that formed in his head, did not really turn him on. Yes, he loved being close to Penguin, and he loved bringing him pleasure. But the idea of letting Penguin do most of the work… it almost seemed kind of boring to him. It just felt like he was supposed to put his fate into Penguin's hands, and while he trusted Penguin would be able to bring him pleasure, it wasn't exactly what Killer liked about sex, he realized. Sure, he loved it when Penguin gave him a blowjob, but that was somehow a little different. Besides, he might love it even more to give Penguin a blowjob.

Maybe it was the lack of control over the situation that made it less appealing to him. He wanted to be in control of his own pleasure, but most of all, he wanted to be in control of Penguin's pleasure. And he somehow felt like that wouldn't be the case if he'd be the bottom. Even if he realized, rationally, that that wasn't necessarily true. Penguin had taken some control when he'd climbed on top of him to ride his dick, last time. Still, it had been easy for Killer to take back control when he wanted to.

But this wasn't for him, he berated himself, it was for Penguin. Even if he wouldn't enjoy it that much himself, he would do it for Penguin. If Penguin enjoyed it, that was all that mattered. He should at least try it once. If it didn't work, he would at least have given Penguin a chance to experience what it was like to top. Hopefully, he wouldn't like it more than bottoming. Shit, what if…

Killer stood up resolutely. Stop worrying, he told himself. It would probably be okay.

He washed his hands and went back downstairs. When he saw Penguin, he forced a smile on his face. "It's clean enough, I guess."

Penguin smiled broadly at him. "Well, take off your pants and come over here, then," he said playfully.

Killer chuckled, but did what Penguin asked and left his jeans on the floor. As soon as he sat down on the couch, Penguin kissed him passionately, and Killer let himself melt into the kiss, which put his mind at ease a bit already.

"Just lay down on your back," Penguin said as soon as he broke the kiss.

Trying to ignore the voice in his head that said he was already giving up control, he leaned back with his head against the armrest again, and let Penguin occupy the space between his legs. He closed his eyes when Penguin leaned down to place soft kisses on his chest, focusing purely on the touch of the soft, and hot lips against his skin. It wasn't that different from how they normally did things, and it actually felt really nice. Killer could feel himself slowly getting into the mood a bit more.

He felt the trail of kisses go lower and lower until it hit the hem of his trunks. Killer bit his lip and felt his cock awaken at the prospect of getting a blowjob from Penguin. Okay, he had to admit: he did really like those blowjobs.

He felt Penguin's mouth go lower and ghost over his clothed dick, his breath tickling the heated skin even through the thin layer of fabric. His cock jerked, and then Penguin placed a kiss on it. Killer hummed softly to encourage him. When he opened his eyes, he saw Penguin look at him with a confident smirk, before placing another kiss on his dick. And then another one, a little lower, and one more, even further down. Then Penguin's smirk widened. "Let's get you completely naked, shall we?"

He didn't wait for an answer, and slowly grabbed the hem of his boxers. He placed one more soft kiss at the bottom of Killer's stomach, and then pulled his underwear down and over his legs. He tossed the piece of clothing in the direction of Killer's pants, and then he was back between Killer's legs, placing another kiss on Killer's erection. It twitched at the touch.

Killer watched Penguin carefully and saw that his boyfriend seemed to want to say something, but then he apparently changed his mind, and grabbed a box of condoms from the table to get one out. He really had gotten quite quick in opening the package, and within no time he was rolling the condom down Killer's dick. However, Penguin didn't wait until it was rolled down completely, and took the tip in his mouth while rolling the last bit all the way to the bottom.

"Ah, shit!" Killer moaned breathily, and he let his eyes flutter close again. He felt his dick disappear more and more into his boyfriend's hot mouth. It was so good! He would never get enough of this.

For a little while, Penguin sucked him at an easy rhythm, good enough to keep the pleasure building up, but not too much to drive him over the edge. "Fuck Peng, you're getting better at this every time."

He heard – and felt – Penguin hum appreciatively. Killer had let his head fall back, his entire focus on the feeling of Penguin's mouth around his dick. Then he felt a hand on his balls, massaging them for a bit, before it traveled further down, and he felt a slick finger pressed against his entrance, softly massaging the sensitive ring of muscles.

Oh, that actually feels kinda nice, Killer noticed, surprised. It felt way nicer than when he'd just touched himself there on the toilet. Maybe it was the combination with Penguin sucking him off?

Then the pressure increased, and Penguin pushed a finger in.

Killer breathed in sharply, and his whole body clenched together and froze. He kept his eyes shut, trying, and hoping to relax into the feeling. After a few seconds he managed to unclench his fists and feet, but he didn't manage to further relax his body. This was wrong.

Just when he felt Penguin remove his mouth from his dick – probably to tell him to relax – Killer opened his eyes. "Nope. No, stop. I'm sorry, please stop." He immediately felt the intruding finger disappear, and he could breathe again. Fuck.

"What's the matter?" Penguin asked with a worried face. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, no, no," Killer was quick to reassure him. He sat up a bit and groaned in frustration while rubbing his face with his hands. "You didn't do anything wrong… It's not you… The problem is me. It just…" he groaned again. How could he explain this without sounding like a total jerk? "It feels wrong. But not like you're doing it wrong or anything, it just doesn't feel right to me."

He knew he couldn't make much sense to Penguin right now, so he tried to explain it further, for as far as he understood it himself. Because, wasn't he just a coward for not wanting to continue this? "I guess I feel kinda… powerless."

"Powerless?" Penguin parroted.

"Yeah." Killer looked him in the eyes. "Like, I'm at your mercy. I have no control over what's happening."

"And you don't… like being at my mercy?" Penguin sounded honestly confused.

"I guess not… It's not that I don't trust you, or anything. I swear I trust you for one hundred percent, but…" Killer sat up some more, so he could pull Penguin into a hug. "I guess I like giving more than receiving," he continued when he had wrapped his arms around Penguin and held him securely against his body. "I like being in control, or at least having some sense of control when I make love to you."

Penguin was quiet for a while, and Killer couldn't really figure out what was going on in his head. Which worried him. "Are you mad?" he asked. "I can understand if you're mad."

"I'm not mad." Penguin shook his head softly. "I just wish you'd told me this sooner. I didn't want to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

"I wanted to give it a try… for you." Killer admitted.

"Yeah, but not if you're that uncomfortable with it!" Penguin protested. "If you're that uncomfortable it won't work anyway!"

"I'm sorry." Killer placed a kiss on Penguin's hair. "You're right."

It was quiet for a little while, until Penguin turned in his arms to face him. "So… you like to be in control?"

Killer nodded. "Yeah, at least a little bit. Is that weird?"

Penguin fervently shook his head. "Not at all." He cast his eyes off. "I think you should… take some more control then, if you like that." Only when he was done speaking, did he make eye contact again.

"What do you mean?" Killer asked confused.

Penguin shrugged and had a blush on his cheeks. "Tell me what to do."

Killer frowned. "What?"

"Tell me what you want me to do," Penguin said again, this time a little more suggestively, letting a finger run over Killer's chest.

"Oh, eh… whatever you want, as long as it's not…" Killer started.

But Penguin interrupted him with a groan. "Killer… I do not want to hear 'whatever you want'. And forget everything about switching positions, we're not gonna do that anymore. I want you to tell me what you do want to do. Give me instructions." He looked deep into Killer's eyes as if to give his words some more meaning. "Take control. I love being at your mercy."

Killer raised his eyebrows at that, and slowly a smirk grew on his face as the meaning of Penguin's words began to get through to him. "Oh!" He licked his lips. "Well in that case, you can start by getting me in the mood again," he half joked. He kissed Penguin on his lips. "I think a striptease would do nicely."

TBC~!

Thanks so much Cleokitty20 for your review! ❤