AN: This is still Madison's friend. I don't usually post notes like this. But it has been a very scary & stressful few weeks. I could write paragraph's about the things that have happened. But that would bore you. So, I will just mention the current most important thing. Our dog Sassy has several health issues. We're worried that she has Pancreatitis again. She needs to go to the vet. But we are currently snowed in with no way to get out of our driveway. So, if you believe I'm asking (begging) you to please, pray for Sassy. If you don't believe. That's cool! I don't mean to offend anyone. But if you wouldn't mind I would LOVE it for you to send positive thoughts, or GOOD Karma out into the universe. Thank you in advance.
Chpt. 37 APOV:
"Get out here you little bitch!" he screams as I hide in the corner of my closet.
I don't answer; I don't move…I'm afraid to breathe, he might hear me. He came home from work early, barely parked his truck before slamming the door open to our trailer. I saw him coming down the road; his truck is so loud you can't miss it, I ran to my room knowing from the speed he was driving that he was in a bad mood. He slammed the door open and I'm pretty sure he left a hole in the wall before he slammed it shut. I hear things being thrown around the living room; some breaking, some bouncing off the walls. My mom was passed out in her bed with a bottle of alcohol next to her when I came home from school today; I doubt she will wake up even with all this noise.
"I know you're here…you have nowhere else to go! You have no friends, no life, no boyfriend…who would want to fuck an ugly bitch like yourself" he screams as he walks into my room.
"Come out come out wherever you are" he yells in a sing song voice.
Suddenly the closet door is ripped off the hinges and without even opening my eyes, I know he sees me. He doesn't say a word but grabs my neck, lifting me off the floor before he throws me against my bed. I scream in pain as I fall to the floor, my head bouncing against the hard floor. He steps on my back hard, while I hear him taking off his belt; I scream and try to kick my way free but with his heavy foot on my back I am unable to break free.
"You are a no good piece of shit just like your mother" he screams at me as he lifts me off the floor by my hair and throws me against my bed, this time he holds me down by the back of my neck effectively pinning me to the bed.
"I didn't do anything" I sob.
"That's the point" he screams as the belt comes down against my ass. "All you do is take my money and give me nothing in return!"
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" I scream as he continues to hit me repeatedly.
"You will never amount to anything!" WACK "You're a no good bitch…the only thing you might be good for is a good fuck…if someone covered your ugly body" WACK
He continues to beat me while screaming what a horrible person I am for what feels like hours. I scream and lash out in pain but it only seems to push him further. He grasps my hands behind my back, before tying them with a piece of rope when I tried to push off the bed. With my hands tied and his hand closing around my neck there is nothing I can do. The room turns black several times but he must realize I'm closing to passing out because just before I stop feeling everything he loosens his grip on my neck and suddenly I'm reminded of the beating.
End flashback.
"ANA!" I vaguely hear Christian calling my name.
I wake up confused; it takes me several minutes to realize that I'm in Christian's room and not back in that filthy trailer. I pull my legs against my chest, holding them tightly while trying to get my breathing under control. It has been a couple weeks since my last nightmare; this one caught me completely by surprise and I think hit me harder since my guard was down.
"Are you okay?" Christian gently rubs my shoulders.
I don't answer…I can't find the words; it's almost as if my brain isn't functioning. I feel Christian pulling me against him but my body automatically tenses at someone being this close to me right now. I know it has nothing to do with Christian; I know he would never hurt me but my body can't help but tense whenever someone touches me after a nightmare. I don't know how much time passes, but I slowly feel my breathing returning to normal. Christian continues to just hold me, gently rocking me back and forth allowing me the time I need but not leaving my side.
"I'm okay" I whisper some time later.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Yes" I sigh.
"Do you want to go back to sleep?" he asks.
"No" I pause. "I don't think I can right now. Every time I close my eyes…."
"Shhhhhhhhh…it's okay" he assures me. "Would you like a bath?"
"Maybe…." I answer.
"I'll go get the water ready" he gets out of bed.
A few minutes later Christian is carrying me to the bathroom where the tub is filled with sweet smelling oils and bubbles. We both undress, climbing into the tub without saying a word. Christian pulls me against him so my back is resting on his chest and he wraps his arms around me holding me close.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.
"It's always the same" I sigh. "The nightmares are flashbacks of the beatings."
"How long did it last?" he whispers.
"A couple years before I ran away" I answer. "At first the beatings were infrequent; here and there when he was drunk or high and in a bad mood. Towards the end though they would be at least weekly, if not more often. The only time he seemed to slow down is when he broke the skin; it was as if he knew how many days needed to pass before my skin would heal and then he would start beating me again."
"Oh baby….I'm so sorry you had to go through that" he kisses my neck gently. "I swear to you if he ever tries to contact you or come near I will see that he is locked up for the rest of his rotten life."
"I wish I would have left sooner" I admit quietly.
"I'm sure you were just waiting for your mother to wake the hell up and leave the son of a bitch" he says and I can feel his body tense against me.
"I kept thinking that one day she would wake up and see how he was treating me. That she would throw him out or take me somewhere" I cry.
"You left when you could" he says. "Just look at how far you have come."
"Thank you" I reply.
"Do you want to try going back to sleep?" he asks a few minutes later.
"I don't think I can" I say sadly. "You can sleep though, I don't want to keep you awake."
"No, it's fine" he helps me out of the tub. "Why don't we get dressed and have breakfast? I'll check with Gail and Taylor to see if they are able to leave early since we're awake."
"Gail is coming?" I ask surprised.
"Yes….this way we won't to cook" he smiles.
"Oh, I assumed it was only Taylor who would be joining us" I say.
"I asked Gail last night to join us; she has only been to the house once and I'm sure she wouldn't mind getting away for a few days" he replies.
We quickly dress; I reattach my walking cast before Christian takes me downstairs. Once we are down the steps he gently stands me up, insuring I'm steady on my feet before we make our way to the kitchen where we find Gail already hard at work.
"Good Morning Mr. Grey, Ana" she greets us.
"Gail you are up early" Christian says.
"I can never sleep right before I travel" she admits. "I'm always afraid I'm going to forget something."
"I used to be like that" Christian says. "But once you started packing my bags, I start worrying less because you always packed everything I needed."
"I'm sure you have everything Gail" I laugh.
"I'm going to check a few emails before breakfast" Christian kisses me on the cheek. "I want to make sure everything is cleared so we can enjoy the weekend."
"I love you" I whisper.
"I love you too baby" he replies before leaving the room.
"Ana…I thought we could try to make the chocolate cake this weekend that you wanted" Gail mentions once Christian is out of ear shot.
"That's a great idea! I never did get to try it the other week…is there anything we need to bring?" I ask.
"I've already placed an order with a local grocery store for all the ingredients you needed and food the time we are there of course…it all should be delivered shortly after we arrive" she explains. "The kitchen there has all the utensils and pans you will need."
"Perfect…it'll make a great desert one night" I smile. "Thank you."
"No problem Ana" she hands me a cup of tea.
Gail and I have become pretty close over the last few months; we practically spend all day together so it's hard not to. Other than Christian, she is the only person I talk to on a regular basis. I think if it wasn't for Gail being around all day I would drive myself crazy sitting in Christian's obscenely large apartment by myself. I've learned that Gail and Taylor are dating which surprised me because I never would have known if she didn't say anything. She said that Christian is aware, but they are careful to insure that their relationship is kept behind closed doors as to not interfere with their jobs. Gail was married once before for a very brief time as her husband was killed in a tragic car accident. She said it took her a long time to believe she could fall in love again after losing the love of her life. She hasn't said it but I get the impression that her and Taylor are very serious about one another and may even get married in the future. Gail is very easy to talk to and we act more like friends than anything when Christian is not around. I've noticed that when he is around she tends to act more professional around me, I think she is concerned about how it would look to Christian who is much more formal.
"Everything taken care of?" I ask when Christian comes back into the kitchen.
"Yes" he sighs.
"Would you like to eat here or in the dining room Mr. Grey?" Gail finishes plating our food.
"The dining room is fine" he helps me up before guiding me to the connecting room.
"What's wrong?" I ask once Gail puts our food on the table.
"I heard from my dad about the situation with Elena" Christian pauses.
"And?" I prompt.
"He doesn't think we have enough evidence to take to the DA yet" he says sadly.
"I was expecting that Christian" I admit.
"You were?" he asks surprised.
"Yes…really all you have is money being deposited into someone else's account" I explain. "There's nothing that links either of them to the accident."
"UGH" he says loudly in frustration, running his hands through his hair. "I wish we could find more. I promise you, I don't care how long it takes they will pay for what they did."
"I know Christian" I put my hand on his and squeeze it trying to assure him I believe him. "Baby, this isn't your fault. I know you will do everything possible to find the link that the authorities will need to pressure charges."
"I'm going to have Taylor put another private investigator on both of them. The one we currently have has gotten shit" he says.
"Whatever you think is best" I reply. "Let's just try to enjoy our trip."
"How can you be so positive? How are you not angry?" he asks a few minutes later.
"I was…I guess to some degree I am angry. I just can't dwell on it Christian; it's not going to do either of us any good if we just sit and think about it constantly" I answer.
"You're right" he sighs before kissing me deeply.
"Now when do I get to see this plane of yours?" I smile.
"Taylor!" Christian yells and I laugh.
"Yes sir?" Taylor quickly enters the room; I never know where he is but he must always be close because as soon as Christian calls for him he appears.
"We would like to leave soon" Christian says.
"Yes sir, I will have the car loaded and we should be ready in about fifteen minutes" Taylor quickly disappears.
"You didn't have to rush everyone" I smile.
"The sooner we leave the sooner I can get you on the plane" he smirks.
A few minutes later we are heading down the elevator with Gail to meet Taylor who has the car packed. We are bringing my wheelchair along mostly just for when we are out shopping or walking for long distances. I'm doing much better around the apartment but if I'm on my feet too much I tend to tire quickly and get pretty unstable. I don't know what shopping we are doing but Christian has mentioned it a couple times so I guess he has plans. I'm hoping he isn't planning on spending a lot of money on me this weekend, because I already owe him so much for everything he has done since the accident. The ride to the airport is longer than I expected as we hit quite a bit of traffic but Christian assures me we are on time and not to worry. Taylor quickly gets us through security quickly and our luggage is taken to the plane.
"Wow Christian" I say as we walk out to the plane.
"There's a couple steps…I didn't think…" Christian explains nervously.
"Christian, it's fine. I can handle a few steps" I assure him.
"Just take it slow, there's no hurry. Everyone can wait" he says firmly.
I slowly make my way up the three steps make my way through the small hallway before entering the beautiful plane. I am stunned at the elegance of the plane, although with Christian I should learn to expect nothing less. There are at least a dozen leather seats, all with plenty of leg room and look very comfortable. In front of the seats is what looks to be a small wet bar and a fridge, there are two doors in the back of the plane as well. I can only assume one is to the bedroom that Christian referenced and the other must be a bathroom. Christian places his hand on my back, urging me to continue to the seating area as I realize I am holding up the line. We all make our way to the seats as Rebecca, the flight attendant, introduces herself. The fasten seatbelt sign comes on and I immediately grasp Christian's hand nervously.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Just nervous…I've never flown before" I admit.
"Don't worry, this plane is very safe. It is regularly maintained and I had a full inspection completed early this morning" he assures me.
The plan slowly starts moving and I can't help but realize that I'm the only one nervous. Gail, Taylor and Christian all look very relaxed, clearly having flown several times. Gail is flipping through a magazine, Christian is responding to emails and Taylor is looking out the window. The plane begins to increase in speed before we finally take off. I watch out the window in awe as everything below us gets smaller and soon we are flying in the clouds, the only things on the ground visible are green areas and lakes. You can't see any houses or buildings from how high up we are.
"Ana and I will be in the bedroom if you need us" Christian says moments after the fasten seatbelt sign is off.
Christian puts his arm around my waist as he leads me to the bedroom which as I assumed was through one of the doors in the back. I'm thankful for his additional support in walking as I'm surprised at how unbalanced I feel walking on the plane. Christian opens the bedroom door and I am surprised at how warm and welcoming it feels. There is a large desk in the one corner which is set up as a fully functional office, while the remainder of the room is dominated by a very large bed. The walls are painted a warm green color and there are numerous paintings of the ocean on the walls.
"I've been thinking of you in this room ever since you agreed to come to Aspen with me" Christian kisses me deeply.
"What about…?" I gesture to the door nervously.
"Don't worry…the room is sound proof" he explains. "When I had the interior of the plane remodeled I requested the bedroom/office be sound proof as I expected to need to conduct business on here. There have been occasions when I'm flying with employees or even potential companies that we are buying out and need to make a call that I don't want them to overhear. Having you in here though makes me even more grateful for the sound proofing."
"Very good thinking" I moan as Christian nips on my ear.
Christian slowly undresses me, kissing my body as he removes each piece of clothing. He gently removes my walking cast before urging me to lay on the bed. Before Christian can join me, I quickly sit up and pull him towards me. I unbutton his shirt, sliding it off of him kissing his abs as it falls to the floor. I unbutton his pants, easing them down along with his underwear before taking his hard erection into my mouth. He moans in surprise at this gesture; I grasp his firm ass with my hands and pull him into my mouth further. I alternate between taking him deep and sucking on just the tip, within minutes he is moaning loudly above me. He suddenly pulls out of my mouth and I look at him confused. He doesn't say anything but lays me back on the bed before kneeling in front of me. He pushes my thighs apart and pulls me to the edge of the bed; my legs are over his shoulders and my ass his barely on the bed.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he mouth finds my sex.
His mouth is all over me; sucking, biting, licking me everywhere. He isn't focused on one area, I never know where he is going to be next which adds to the pleasure. I can feel my body responding and am surprised at just how quickly the orgasm is approaching.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his finger slides into me.
His mouth moves to my clit; he pulls it in with his teeth before flicking it his tongue which nearly sends me off the bed in pleasure. That small move has me on the edge, desperately needing my release. I'm moaning loudly now and find myself very thankful for the sound proofing in this room; there's no way I would be able to walk back out there if I knew that Gail and Taylor could hear me right now. I nearly scream as Christian curls his fingers deep inside of me, hitting that magical spot and I immediately come hard and loud against him. Christian gently lowers my legs and moves up to my lips, kissing me deeply letting me taste myself on his lips which is strangely arousing.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as Christian thrusts into me.
"Hold on baby" Christian instructs.
I wrap my arms around his neck as Christian wraps his arms around my back lifting me and moving us higher on the bed while never breaking our connection. Christian gently lays me back on the bed, slowly moving thrusting himself into me deeply.
"Oh baby" I moan as he hits that spot once again.
"You feel so good; so tight" he moans as he starts thrusting into me faster.
His mouth is on my neck, kissing me as his hands find their way to my ass lifting me so I'm even closer to him. We both moan loudly as he thrusts deeper inside of me while squeezing my ass. His mouth finds mine again, nearly crushing my lips as he thrusts deep and hard into me. As much as I love when Christian is gentle, there is something about having him be rough with me that turns me on so much more. I'm surprised that I enjoy it rough but I trust Christian completely to not take it too far and hurt me. It's just enough to add a little edge to our love making but nothing that would worry or scare me.
"Christian!" I yell, finding my release while he is deep inside of me.
"ANA!" Christian yells finding his own release.
We lay like this for several minutes, before Christian rolls us to the side as our breathing finally returns to normal. I suddenly find myself very tired, having been up since very early this morning and quickly fall asleep in Christian's arms. Sleep finds me easily; I sleep sounds until Christian wakes me some time later letting me know we need to get to our seats because we will be landing soon. I thought I was asleep only minutes, but obviously if we're landing in Aspen already I was asleep a lot longer. Taylor exits the plane first to pick up the rental car that he reserved for us; big surprise that it's a large black SUV with tinted windows which is standard for Christian. He quickly loads our luggage into the car and we start our drive to Christian's house. We slowly drive through the city before heading towards a more rural section; we slowly make our way through winding roads before coming to a gated home. To say the house is beautiful even from the outside would be an understatement. Before us is a moderately sized log home with a wraparound driveway leading to a large three car garage. I'm in awe as Christian leads me inside and the difference between Escala and this house has me speechless. Where Escala is mainly white, with cool crisp lines, this feels more like a home. The interior is warm and inviting with large plush sofas in the living room with a fire place separating the living room and kitchen. Christian leads me through the house showing me the state of the kitchen complete with top of the line appliances, a formal dining room, a den, a small apartment for Gail and Taylor before leading me upstairs with there are three bedrooms in addition to the master bedroom. The master bedroom has a large private balcony complete with hot tub overlooking the valley.
"Christian….this place is beautiful" I say in awe.
"I'm so glad you like it" he whispers in my ear, pulling me close against him as we take in the view.
"I can't believe you don't come here more often, it's so relaxing" I say as we sit in the living room watching the fireplace.
"It never seemed relaxing when I came here before" Christian admits. "I would always end up working anyway."
"Your family must enjoy coming here?" I ask.
"They do…we've spent some time here in the winters because everyone either skis or snowboards. That's the only time I've really been here since I owned the place. I think once I came by myself" he says.
Gail is busy in the kitchen unpacking the groceries that were delivered while Taylor is checking the outside of house and the security system. We enjoy the rest of the day at the house, just spending time together. Gail makes us a wonderful dinner as always and we decide to go to sleep early. Despite my nap on the plane, I'm still pretty tired from not sleeping the night before.
"Good Morning baby" Christian says kissing my lips as I begin to wake up.
"Morning" I smile.
"I was thinking we would do some shopping and sight-seeing today if you feel up to it" Christian suggests.
"That sounds nice" I say.
"Let's get some breakfast and we will head into town" Christian kisses me before getting out of bed.
We get dressed and head down to the kitchen where Gail is just starting the coffee. Christian lets Gail know that we will probably be out of the house most of the day and probably won't be home for dinner. He then tries to give Taylor the rest of the day off, but Taylor refuses and insists on accompanying us. We spend the day touring the city and going in and out of all the shops. I purchase a small snow globe from a boutique that we found and to Christian's dismay I refuse to allow him to pay for it. We almost got in a fight because I wouldn't let him pay but in the end he put his credit card away. The entire day Taylor and Christian are talking very quiet to one another whenever I'm not in ear shot; when I question Christian he blows it off. I can't help but wonder what they are hiding and if it has anything to do with Elena.
"I was thinking we would go back to the house for dinner" Christian says after several hours of shopping and sightseeing.
"Sure" I'm surprised because he originally planned to go out for dinner.
Taylor loads the rest of the bags into the car and we drive back to the house. Christian insisted on buying me a few new outfits saying what I brought with me wasn't warm enough for the chilly nights. I argued that I have a sweater but he wasn't hearing it and insisted on buying me a new jacket and a couple pairs of pants. I swear this man is trying to kill me with his spending! I finally win the battle and pay for the $20 snow globe and he in turns spends easily ten times more than that on me. Taylor brings us to the front of the house before taking the car to the garage. When we enter the house, everything is quiet and dark…I look at Christian confused.
"This way" he places an arm around my lower back and leads me into the dining room where a candle lit dinner is waiting for us.
"Christian….this is…how did you…." I stutter at the site before.
"I had a little help" he smiles.
There is a chilled bottle of wine in a bucket of ice on the side of the table; flowers and candles in the center of the table with two covered dishes in front of us. Christian pours us each a glass of wine before lifting the lids to discover a dinner consisting of crab stuffed salmon, rice pilaf and a vegetable medley.
"To another first" Christian raises his glass.
We clink our glasses and take each take a sip of the wine which of course compliments the dinner perfectly. We talk throughout dinner; Christian tells me about the renovations he had done since he bought the place. I learn Elliot completed most of the renovations including the private balcony off the master bedroom and the state of the art kitchen. There are several environmental friendly aspects of this log home including solar powered lights and solar panels. I learn that Grace and Carrick used to bring Christian, Elliot and Mia to Aspen every year when they were young so they could learn how to ski which is why Christian eventually bought this house.
"Would you like anything else?" Christian asks as he clears our plates.
"No, dinner was delicious though" I smile.
"Gail is a wonderful cook" he admits.
"That she is" I agree.
"Would you like to go upstairs?" he asks a few minutes later after the table is cleared.
"Sure" I answer even though it's a little early to call it a night.
Christian carries me up the steps before taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. Christian squeezes my hand just before he opens the door; he seems nervous for some reason but I can't imagine why he would be nervous. As he opens the door I gasp…