Day 9:: Et Tu?

Itachi looked up when his little brother shuffled into his room like he was still in elementary school, then raised an eyebrow when Sasuke closed the door behind him. Oh-ho, what do we have here?

"Hey Nii-san," Sasuke was exhibiting all his nervous tells, but... Is that a blush I see on his ears? That means it's not school or Dad so it must be…

"What's the matter, Sasuke?" Itachi asked, closing the notebook on his desk.

"You're pretty popular, right?"

I knew it. It's definitely a girl. "Mmm, I suppose," Itachi pretended not to have guessed what Sasuke was driving at.

"I was just wondering… well…," Sasuke scowled and kicked the footboard. "Ah, nevermind."

"Tell me," Itachi ordered.

"Geez! What would S- girls like for White Day?"

He's bright red. Hah! I bet it's that Haruno girl who came over earlier this year for that group project. What was her name again? "Well, the usual gifts are chocolate, marshmallows, cakes, candies - they just need to be white. You have to consider your recipient," Itachi's mischievous nature won out as he added, "It means more when it's homemade, though."

"Really?" Sasuke eyed his brother suspiciously.

Not a whit of Itachi's mirth leaked into his expression as he solemnly promised, "Really."

"Okay then. Thanks." Sasuke gave his brother one more suspicious look before leaving. Itachi waited until the door was shut again before he chuckled quietly. Middle school kids are so gullible.

The next day, Itachi just so happened to be a bit late coming home from his club (had absolutely nothing to do with avoiding his mother's rage from that morning, when she'd seen the state of her kitchen), when he saw his brother and the pink-haired girl he recognized as Haruno Sakura-chan loitering at their front gate. She looked like she kept trying to talk to his brother, and Sasuke, awkward child that he was, kept letting the conversation die with one-word answers. Itachi also spotted the clear cellophane of his mother's best cookie bags sticking out of Sasuke's backpack.

Ahhah. A classic case of tsundere. Poor girl looks so disappointed, too. At this rate, he's going to blow his chance. Well, what else are big brothers for?

"Sakura-chan!" Itachi called, waving as he joined them. He did a very good job of pretending he hadn't been watching their interaction for the past five minutes.

"Ah, hello, Itachi-san," Sakura bowed politely to him, a bit flustered. She has excellent manners. She may be wasted on my brother.

"Another group project?" he asked with one raised eyebrow.

"Go away, Nii-san," His younger brother scowled. A sixth sense honed his entire life told him his brother was up to no good. Too bad that won't help him.

"N-No, I was just leaving," Sakura stuttered. She pointed down the opposite street. "My house is that way."

Itachi pretended he didn't know they'd just come from that direction, since the middle school was there. "Ah, I see. Well, travel safely." He waved, then opened the gate to head into the house. Before he did though, and before his brother could relax too much, he turned around.

"By the way, Sakura-chan, how were my brother's cookies? He made quite a mess in the kitchen last night and didn't leave any for the family. Our mother was quite upset about it."

"Pardon?" Sakura asked, glancing at Sasuke, "I didn't see any cookies."

"Ah, my apologies. They must have been for someone else then." Itachi felt a little bad when Sakura eyes began to brim with tears. Well, that's Sasuke's problem to fix.

"Wait-," Sasuke blurted out, but neither of them listened. Sakura turned on her heel and bolted, and Itachi went into the house and closed the front door behind him.

"Itachi, have you seen your brother? He's late-" Uchiha Mikoto poked her head out of the kitchen, then goggled when she saw Itachi dump his bag in the foyer to climb the stairs and stare out the porthole on the first landing. "What in the world are you doing?"

"Seeing if Sasuke gets rejected or not," Itachi replied absent-mindedly.

"What?! Move over!" his mother joined him on the landing. Together, they watched as Sasuke finally caught up with Sakura a full block away.

"She's quite the runner, isn't she?" Mikoto marvelled.

"She only had a five-second head start on him, too," Itachi agreed, "Atta-boy," He added as Sasuke let Sakura go easily enough but also immediately presented her with the cookies.

"Is that where all my royal icing went? And my last good bag!"

"It was for a good cause."

"Well, he better- awwwwwww," Mikoto smiled. Even though they couldn't hear what was being said, they could see Sakura throw her arms around Sasuke, cookies and all. Itachi couldn't help but grin too.

"Okaa-san, we should give them their privacy." Gently, Itachi tugged his mom away from the porthole as Sasuke slowly moved to hug her back.

"Oh - but - I just - Oh, all right," Mikoto sighed, letting her son pull her away, "But they're right there in broad daylight!"

Itachi calculated how long it would take for Sasuke to walk Sakura-chan back to her house, and then come charging back to get even with him. If my calculations are correct, and accounting for a bit of new puppy love shyness… he should be back in…Three, two, one.

"NII-SAN!"

AN: I have to admit, watching clips for the last ficlet also made me want to write a non-massacre AU. That's how y'all got this crack. Itachi is probably my favourite side character to write in AUs.