Chpt. 44:
Grace's POV:
"Carrick…I have no words for you right now" I can't even look at him as I hear Christian slam the front door shut.
"How the hell was I supposed to know why she ran away?" he asks.
"Did you really think she was only after his money? My God, after everything she has been through? She was nearly killed when the car hit her and then lost nearly all of her memories over the last couple of years" I ask shocked.
"You have to admit it seems suspicious that she came out of nowhere, completely turned his life around and now they're getting married" he points out.
"No! It's not suspicious! It's called love!" I shout. "Just because she doesn't have a lot of money does not mean she is after his!"
"Mr. Grey, you should know that the person you are describing is not Ana" Kate says as her and Elliot join us. "If you think your son's nightmares are bad, you have never experienced Ana's. They will break your heart as she relives the abuse that I only just heard bits of. Have you ever seen her back? Have you ever noticed the way she tenses whenever someone other than Christian touches her or comes close to touching her back? You have no idea what she has been through!"
"Kate," Carrick begins. "I'm sure that's all part of the act she keeps up to get him to feel sorry for her."
SLAP
"How dare you Carrick!" I scream after slapping him hard. "I saw the scars on that poor girl's body when she was brought in after the accident. Her body is literally covered, front and back, with hundreds of scars. It's a miracle she even survived whatever hell she was forced to live in. I thought you of all people would have more compassion than that!"
"Mom, Kate and I will be leaving now" Elliot announces as Kate glares angrily at Carrick.
"I don't know that Ana will ever forgive you, I know if it was me I sure as hell wouldn't" Kate says angrily.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Carrick asks.
"Tell you what?" I scream.
"About her past?" he asks.
"Confidentiality" I answer. "Christian told me she had scars when she was brought into the hospital but it in no way prepared me for the site. They are horrific Carrick…I cannot even imagine how most of them were formed. In all my years of working with children and in the ER, I've never seen anything like that. It was not my place to tell you any of this, nor should Ana have had to explain herself to you. Don't you realize how hard that was for her? She didn't only just tell you but Kate, Elliot and Mia all overheard so now they know as well."
"I…." he stutters trying to figure out what to say.
"You need to find a way to fix this. I will not miss my son's wedding because you behaved like an utter ass to our future daughter in law tonight" I slam the office door behind me leaving him standing there with his jaw on the floor.
Never have I ever spoken to Carrick like that before, but never has Carrick acted the way he did tonight. I cannot believe the things he accused Ana of, she has been nothing but wonderful in all the times I've met her. She has changed Christian in more ways than she will ever know; I have never seen him as happy as he is now.
"Mom?" Mia asks as I pour myself a large glass of wine.
"I'm sorry you had to hear that dear" I gently rub her back.
"Is it true?" she whispers.
"Is what true?" I ask confused.
"Did that stuff really happen to Ana?" she whispers.
"Unfortunately" I nod. "I don't know all the details, but yes someone hurt her really bad when she was younger."
"How could Dad say those things to her? How could he think she was only after his money?" she asks.
"I don't know sweetie" I sigh. "Your dad probably thought he was looking out for Christian's best interest but the way in which he did it was completely wrong."
"I'm so mad at him for what he said to her" she says.
"I know, so am I. Try not to get involved though" I advise.
APOV same day:
"Are you okay?" Christian asks as we lay in the darkness.
"I…I just can't believe he said those things…that he really thought I was only with you for your money," I whisper.
"I am so sorry that he said those things to you, that he accused you of that" he kisses me gently on my neck while holding me against him.
"Christian, I could care less how much money you have" I turn to look at him. "I wouldn't care if you were dirt poor and struggled to pay your bills."
"I know baby, it's one of the many things I love about you" he kisses me passionately. "From the first time we met, you looked at me like no one else has in a long time. When you spilled coffee on me and insisted on buying me another one, I knew immediately right then and there that you truly had no idea who I was. Any other woman would have insisted I buy them a coffee but you did the complete opposite. When we were in the dance club and you asked what I did, you actually seemed interested in me and not interested in what fancy job title I had so you could determine if I made a lot of money."
"Did you really meet women like that?" I asked surprised.
"You have no idea" he sighs. "That's why when I met you, it was so refreshing. I immediately found myself trusting you, even from the moment you first bumped into me."
"I love you so much Christian" I pull him closer to me, wrapping my leg around his waist as I kiss him deeply.
"Oh Ana" he moans, gripping my ass tightly so I can feel his erection against my sex. "I love you…"
Our clothes are quickly tossed onto the floor as we try to get closer to one another. As emotional as today has been, I need nothing more than to feel Christian against him, to feel his love for me. Our love making is always so passionate, so intense that it always reassures me how much we mean to each other and right now I think that is exactly what we both need especially after the horrible things that Carrick accused me of.
"I need you" Christian gently rolls me onto my back, positioning himself between my legs.
"Yes….please…" I grip his firm ass, pulling him into me.
"So beautiful" he moans into my mouth as he fully enters me.
Christian moves in and out of me slowly, gripping my hands tightly as his eyes tell me how sorry he is for everything that happened tonight. Not only can I see the guilt and sorrow in his eyes, but I can feel them in his movements as if he is trying to tell me how sorry he is and how much he doesn't believe a word Carrick said. Our eyes are glue to each other, his grey to my blue which increases the need in both of us. The love I feel for him and can feel from him overwhelms me sometimes and right now is one of those times.
"Christian….I….ohhhhhhhhhh" I moan loudly as I find my release, getting lost in his eyes.
"ANA!" Christian screams as I feel him find his own release.
"I love you" I run my fingers up and down his back, holding him close to me, not yet ready for our connection to end.
"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you" Christian whispers, nipping gently at my ear.
After cleaning up and using the bathroom, we both fall asleep quickly and still naked wrapped in each other's arms. Making love to Christian was exactly what I needed, what I think we both needed, after the situation with Carrick. Although what happened tonight is anything but forgotten, laying in Christian's arms right now somehow makes it more bearable.
Flashback
"Hey slut! What are you doing home?" he asks as I walk through the door to the trailer.
"School is over" I answer quietly.
"How many boys did you fuck today?" he scream; I can smell the alcohol on his breath from across the room.
"None" I whisper.
"Liar! I bet the boys can't keep their hands off of you! Your tits are finally starting to come in; one day I'm going to get a good look at them" he grasps my shirt hard pulling me towards him.
"No! Please…." I beg.
"Don't worry…they're still too little for me. Once your tits get bigger though, they're all mine" he whispers into my ear.
"Please…don't…." I say.
"Dear….leave her alone" Mom says from the kitchen.
"One day, when they're bigger and she's not here" he promises.
I quickly run to my room, shutting the door behind me and start my homework. I can't wait to get out of this house! I wish I were 18 and could just leave, but that's still three and a half years away. Another night passes by without dinner, but I'm not surprised as I can't even remember the last time we ate dinner in this house.
"Bitch! Where are you?" Him screaming wakes me sometime later.
It's pitch dark in my room, but suddenly the door is thrown open and I see him angrily approaching my bed. He pulls me by my hair off the bed and onto the floor, kicking my ribs as I fall onto the floor.
"You cost me another job you bitch!" he screams.
"I didn't do anything, I've been home all night" I sob.
"You didn't give me a message that Mike called the other day, he had a big job that was going to pay very well" he pushes my chest down against the bed as his hand comes down hard on my butt.
"Owwwwwwwww! I put the message on the fridge where you told me too!" I scream.
"Well…you should have told me the message was there! How the fuck was I supposed to know he called if you didn't tell me?" He screams as he continues to bring his hand down hard on my ass.
"I'm sorry! Please don't!" I sob as I hear the familiar sound of his belt buckle being undone.
"You will pay for losing me this job!" He screams as he holds my hands behind my back, pushing my face into my bed harder before the belt buckle pieces my skin.
"Owwwwwwwwww!" I scream out in sudden pain.
"Count bitch!" he screams.
"One" I sob.
The beating continues for what feels like hours; my ass, back and thighs are on fire from the belt. I continue to count because he beats me harder if I pause or don't count loud enough.
"Eighteen!" I scream as the belt lands across the back of my arms, a new spot even for him.
End Flashback
"Ana! ANA! Baby it's okay," I vaguely hear Christian's voice in the background.
I slowly open my eyes, thankful that the nightmare is finally over; it was one of the worst beatings he ever gave me. Christian's arms are wrapped tight around me, he's whispering in my ear but I can't focus on what he is saying. My breathing is heavy and I feel like I'm covered in sweat; I feel dirty just thinking of his hands on me.
"Please…I need…bathroom" I push Christian from me forcefully and run to the bathroom just in time to throw up in the toilet.
Christian is next to me in seconds, wetting a washcloth and placing it on the back of my neck as I collapse next to the toilet. I vaguely hear him moving around the bathroom, the sound of water running quickly fills the room. As much as I want to, I can't move…my mind is just not sending the right signals or something to my body.
"Ana, baby I'm going to put you in the bathtub, if you don't want me to please say so," Christian says gently lifting me so I'm sitting on the steps of the tub.
I grasp onto his arm tightly, not able to convey with words what I want.
"I'll stay with you, I promise" he whispers, gently kissing me on the cheek.
Quickly we are both the tub, my back to his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around me. Slowly my body starts to relax as Christian gently washes me, almost as if he can sense this is exactly what I need. I need to forget, to not feel dirty and to not have the stench of alcohol and stale cigarettes all over me. I have completely lost track of time, we could have been in here for hours except the water is still pretty warm.
"Do you feel better?" Christian asks.
"Yes, thank you" I whisper.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.
"Can we get into bed first?" I question.
"Of course" he answers, gently assisting me out of the tub.
We walk back into the bedroom in the warm, amazingly soft towels that are always in Christian's bathroom. I'm still slightly shaking, but not from the cold; Christian immediately sees this and wraps his arms around me tightly.
"What can I do? What do you need?" he asks.
"Just hold me" I whisper.
"Just let me put some pants on" he starts to release me but I grasp his arms tighter.
Sensing what I need he climbs into bed with me, removing both of our towels as we lie in the bed. He pulls me close to him and I immediately lay my head on his chest as his arms wrap protectively around my body. I sigh contently, this is exactly what I needed; I have never felt safer as I do when Christian holds me.
"That must have been a pretty bad nightmare; I've never seen you have to throw up after…." Christian says a few minutes later.
"It used to happen after every nightmare," I sigh. "In the last year, I only remember it happening one other time."
"You don't have to talk about it" he assures me.
"I know," I take a deep breath trying to wrap my head around it. "It was one of the worst beatings he had given me…I think the only one worse was the night I ran away. He was in a bad mood the entire day, or at least once I came home from work. He started making comments about how my breasts were developing-"
"HE WHAT?!" Christian exclaims, tensing around me.
"I was a late bloomer you could say, I had just started really developing breasts and he was quick to point it out. He even told me they were too little for him yet but that one day when they were bigger he would get to see them and that they would be his" my voice full of disgust as I recall the words.
"If I ever get my hands on him…" Christian mumbles.
"My mom's response to that was basically to tell him to behave, but of course it didn't stop him" I sigh. "I always felt his eyes on my chest, it was like he was waiting for the day that he deemed they were big enough. Anyway, later that night when I was sleeping he stormed into my room and threw me to the floor kicking my ribs hard. He said I cost him a job because he didn't see the message I left for him on the fridge. He beat me hard that night; his belt buckle hit me every time, I could feel it piercing my skin each time it came down. He hit my arms that night too; he held them tight behind my back so I couldn't stop him. I couldn't get out of bed for two days after that, my entire body just hurt so bad."
"Oh God baby" Christian kisses me gently. "I wish I could have protected you then; I wish there was something I could do to make the nightmares stop."
"They've become far less since we've been together Christian," I point out. "I used to have them at least several times a week; now it's much less. I haven't had a nightmare since right after we got back from Aspen, so in a way it's getting better."
"I would do anything to make the nightmares stop" he sighs. "I will never let them hurt you again, no matter what I will always protect you."
"I know, it's why I feel so safe right here" I kiss his chest and snuggle closer to him.
"Do you think you can sleep now? Our flight leaves first thing in the morning for New York" he asks.
"I think so," I reply.
Sleep easily finds us, the emotional toll finally catching up with me as my eyes finally close. I sleep soundly the remainder of the night, only waking when I hear Christian's alarm going off only a couple of hours later. I groan at the thought of waking up, my body clearly still tired from the middle of the night interruption. My disappointment is short lived though when I remember that we are going to New York today. I've always wanted to see the city but obviously never had the opportunity.
"Morning" Christian greets me.
"Good Morning" I reply.
"You don't know how bad I want to take advantage of you lying naked next to me right now" Christian rolls over to the side, his hard erection probing my sex gently.
"Hmmmmmmmmm" I moan kissing him deeply.
"Don't have time" he pants.
"You sure?" I ask rubbing myself against him, the need quickly rising within me.
"You're killing me baby" he sighs. "We need to be at SeaTac in less than an hour."
"Crap! I never even packed a bag!" I jump out of bed quickly.
"Relax Ana" Christian says. "Gail packed a bag for both of us."
"Oh thank goodness" I sigh.
"Let's take a shower and then grab breakfast before we run out" he suggests.
"Sounds good" I follow him into the bathroom, watching his firm ass as he goes by.
"Like what you see?" he asks, clearly sensing my eyes on him.
"What?" I blush deeply.
"Come, join me" he tugs at my hand.
The moment I enter the shower his lips are all over me, crushing against mine as he pushes me against the cool tile shower wall. My hands immediately go to the firm ass I was practically drooling over at moments ago, gripping him tightly as I pull him closer to me. His tongue lightly follows the outline of my lips just as his erection rubs against my sex. One hand pinches my nipple, causing me to gasp into his mouth while the other hand grips my ass holding me tight against him.
"I can't wait…I need you" he moans, lifting me up so my legs wrap around his waist.
"God….yes!" I exclaim as he gently slides into me.
"This is going to be fast baby, we don't have much time," he warns.
"Hmmmmmmmm" I moan as he slams into me hard and deep.
My back is still against the shower wall, my arms are wrapped around his neck, holding him tightly as the need quickly overwhelms me. Christian's hand grip my ass tightly, moving me against him so I'm meeting him thrust for thrust; his mouth never leaves me, kissing me, biting my lips or sucking my ears and neck constantly. We're both breathing heavily and moaning loudly; moments later we both find out release together.
"Wow" I whisper.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Yes…more than okay" I smile.
"I wasn't sure if I was too rough or if you were uncomfortable against the wall" he says.
"Christian, I'm not going to break" I assure him. "Trust me, I enjoyed that very much."
"So did I" he kisses me as he sets me down. "You're the only woman I've ever made love to in here."
"And I will be the last" I kiss him.
"I can't wait" he moans.
We quickly wash up, throw on a pair of clothes and rush downstairs for breakfast which thankfully Gail has waiting for us. Minutes later, Taylor has our bags loaded into the SUV and we are on our way to the airport. As we board Christian's private jet, I realize this is one thing I will never get used to…flying like this, in pure luxury is just amazing. Christian and I quickly sit in the large, leather recliners as he quickly takes out his blackberry to reply to a few emails before we take off. Taylor and Sawyer are accompanying us on our trip while another member of security is with Gail at Escala.
"Are you tired baby?" Christian asks as the pilot indicates that it is now safe to move about the cabin.
"No, actually I'm pretty awake" I answer.
"What do you think about cutting our trip a little short?" he asks.
"Whatever you need to do for work is fine with me Christian, you know that," I answer.
"I was thinking we could leave tomorrow and fly to Vegas" he suggests quietly.
"Vegas?" I ask surprised, Christian seems far from the gambling type.
"I want to marry you, I don't want to wait" he replies. "Please Ana….will you marry me this week in Vegas? I promise it won't be some drive through, Elvis wedding…"
"Is this what you want?" I ask.
"Yes baby, I just want to be with you…I want to start the rest of our lives together now" he kisses me passionately.
"Yes" I moan.
"Yes? You will marry me this week?" he pulls back, looking deeply in my eyes.
"Yes, I will marry you in Vegas" I assure him. "But, there is one thing I want."
"Anything" he replies quickly.
"I want Kate there" I say.
"Of course" he relaxes against me. "I will arrange for Kate and Elliot both to be there."
"What about your parents? What about Mia?" I ask cautiously.
"I don't want my father there" Christian grimaces. "He obviously doesn't support us; we don't need that negativity on our day. I will speak with Elliot and see how we can get Mom there."
"Are you sure you don't want him there?" I ask.
"I'm sure, the way he spoke to you…about you, told me everything I need to know about how he feels" he answers.
"Whatever you want, whoever you want to be there is fine with me," I tell him. "Oh, one other person."
"Who?" he asks.
"Gail" I answer. "I want Gail there."
"Of course, I will have her fly in with Elliot and Kate" he says.
"Do you think you can get everything arranged this fast?" I ask a few minutes later.
"Baby, one thing you will learn is that money talks. I guarantee we will have everything we need waiting for us when we land in Vegas tomorrow night," he assures me.
"So we get married Wednesday?" I ask, hardly believing the words I'm saying.
"I'm thinking Wednesday or Thursday" he says. "Your interview is Friday right?"
"Yes, but not until late in the afternoon" I reply.
"Great, so we could fly out Friday late morning; the flight from Vegas to Seattle is short" he plans.
"I can't believe in a matter of days we're going to be married," I gush.
"Me either baby," he kisses me deeply. "I'm going to call Elliot now, do you want to call Kate?"
"Sure," I quickly take my phone from my purse.
"Hi Ana!" Kate quickly answers the phone.
"Kate, how are you?" I ask.
"Ana, more importantly how are you? I was so shocked that Carrick blew up like that, I'm so sorry you had to go through that" she says.
"I'm okay Kate, really," I assure her. "That's actually why I'm calling."
"Oh?" she asks.
"What are you doing this week?" I ask.
"Just working on my graduation speech," she answers.
"How would you like to fly to Vegas? Say Wednesday morning?" I ask.
"Vegas? Why are we going to Vegas? Oh my God, are you getting married in Vegas?" she rambles.
"Yes," I confirm.
"Oh my! Of course I will be there! What made you guys decide to do it this week? Are you pregnant?" she whispers the last part.
"No! I'm not pregnant Kate!" I exclaim. "We're on our way to New York now and Christian asked how I would feel about taking a detour to Vegas on our way back to get married. He doesn't want to wait."
"I'll bring a few gowns from my mom's shop, I'm sure she will have something that can fit" Kate says.
"Oh, I hadn't thought about a dress" I laugh. "Thank you."
"Is Elliot coming?" Kate asks.
"Christian is talking to him now," I say.
"Perfect! Oh, I'm so excited Ana! So happy for you too," she gushes.
"Thank you Kate, I really appreciate you flying out there," I reply.
"I wouldn't miss it for anything," she sobs.
"Oh, Christian says to tell you that he will have the jet waiting to take everyone to Vegas Wednesday morning," I read the note that Christian just slipped me.
"I can't wait! I'll see you Wednesday morning Ana!" Kate exclaims disconnecting the call.
I doze off in the comfy recliner while waiting for Christian to finish talking with Elliot. I am truly shocked that Christian suggested we go to Vegas, although I know I shouldn't be since he wanted a quick wedding from the beginning. It's hard to think that in a couple days I will be Mrs. Christian Grey; if you would have told me this was going to happen when I ran into Christian that day I would have thought you were crazy. Never did I think I would get married, let alone to someone as gorgeous as Christian.