Chpt. 55 APOV:

The mini honeymoon that Christian took me on was nothing or short of wonderful and romantic. I'm looking forward to spending more time at the cabin; I can picture having Grace, Carrick, Mia, Elliot and Kate there quite often. The house is designed perfectly for entertaining especially with the large deck overlooking the lake. Other than adding some outdoor furniture I can't imagine changing anything about the place; it's the perfect size and I love that it's warm and inviting. I can't wait to explore some of the other trails around the cabin once my leg heals a little more. We didn't get a chance to take the canoes out so that's definitely something I want to do next time we visit. I still blush at the memory of yesterday; the hike was absolutely perfect until the rain started but it turned out that wasn't so bad after all. I wasn't fond of the bourbon that Christian had us drinking, but after the first glass I kind of got used to it. I think it was the bourbon that gave me the liquid encouragement I needed and when Christian practically ordered me to take my clothes off I took the opportunity to open the door for a little play time. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it in the past, Christian has told me enough about BDSM to know that there was a great deal of pleasure involved. There have been many times when we have had sex that Christian has taken control which I have found incredibly sexy. What happened last night was beyond anything I could have imagined and certainly did not disappoint. Not knowing what Christian was going to do or even where he was at times was surprisingly arousing. I had no idea that giving someone complete control over my body could be so amazing. I had no doubt that Christian would respect my boundaries without me even having to ask him. He knew I wouldn't be able to handle any type of punishments or being restrained, instead he dedicated the night to pure pleasure.

When we woke this morning I could see the wheels turning in his head and I immediately knew that he was second guessing himself for his actions last night. For someone who is so confident when it comes to his business, I'm surprised sometimes at how he second guesses himself when it comes to relationships either with me or with his family. After a slightly embarrassing conversation, where I admitted that I had never come so hard, he seemed reassured that I was okay with everything that we did last night. We created one last memory in the cabin, before cleaning up and getting on the road to head back to Seattle. It was bitter sweet returning to Escala, I loved the time we spent at the cabin but I have also missed our lives here.

"Sir, ma'am," Taylor pauses. "While you were away we had an unexpected visitor at both GEH and Escala. Security was not breeched as protocols were followed and remain in place."

"Taylor, who was the unexpected visitor?" Christian asks.

Taylor doesn't immediately respond, instead walking over to Christian's liquor cabinet where he pours two glasses of Brandy before returning to us. He hands me the first glass with an apologetic look in his eyes before handing Christian his glass. By the look in Taylor's eyes and his behavior, I immediately know this has to do with me. I quickly run through the possibilities of who the visitor could be; I can only come up with two: my mother or him. When I was hit by the car, Christian had said he was in prison so unless he got out recently I doubt it was him.

"Taylor who the hell was the visitor?" Christian asks sharply.

"It's her isn't it?" I whisper looking directly at Taylor; he quickly replies with an apologetic nod.

"Who?!" Christian demands loudly.

"Ana's mother, Carla, sir," Taylor answers quietly.

"How the fuck did she get here? What did she want? Where is she?" Christian screams, slamming his hand on his desk.

"She arrived Friday afternoon to GEH, security was immediately notified and she was escorted out of the building," Taylor explains. "Saturday, she attempted to gain entry to Escala however the front desk immediately notified Sawyer. Again, she was escorted out. She showed up this morning as well but again was escorted out."

"What is she doing in Seattle? I want someone on her 24/7, I want to know her every move," Christian demands.

"I have already assigned someone to her sir," Taylor replies without flinching at Christian's outburst. "She is currently staying at a motel on the outskirts of the city, she has not left since she returned earlier this morning."

"Is she still using?" I ask.

"Without a drug test, Ana there is no way to know-" he answers.

"Taylor," I interrupt sharply.

"If I were a betting man, I would say so ma'am," he looks away quickly.

"Did she say what she wanted?" Christian asked.

"To see her…daughter," Taylor answered.

"I want an updated background check done immediately Taylor," Christian orders. "Let Welsh know. I want everything, I want to know when she arrived in Seattle, what she has been doing since she arrived, how she got here, EVERYTHING!"

"Sir, it's in your email," Taylor says. "Welsh completed it this morning and should have sent it about an hour ago."

"Let me know if she moves from the motel," he dismisses Taylor quickly.

I'm sitting on the couch staring at the glass that is somehow empty; I don't remember drinking the brandy that Taylor poured. My mind is racing, running through the various scenarios as to why she is here, why she is suddenly seeking me out and what she could possibly want from me. Just as quickly, my mind turns to the last time I saw her and I can focus on nothing else. It's as if I'm there all over again; I'm no longer in Christian's office, in our home, instead I'm back in the filthy trailer that reeks of stale cigarettes and cheap liquor.

Flashback

I hear the door of the trailer suddenly slam shut, followed by a loud scream; glancing at the clock I see that the bars must have closed which is typically the only reason they come home at night anymore. I try to ignore them, desperately try to fall back to sleep as I have a big chemistry test in the morning but it's no use.

"You fucking slut!" he screams.

"I didn't….didn't do anything," my mother whimpers.

"Didn't do anything?" he laughs. "You kept leading that guy on! The way you wiggled your ass every time you walked by. You purposely leaned over, making sure he could see those saggy tits of yours!"

"No I swear-" she begins to say, but is cut off by a loud slap.

"Don't talk back to me!" he interrupts and I hear her scream in pain.

"You're just like your piece of shit daughter! You both are worthless! I don't know why I put up with either of you!" he screams.

"Please….please I'm sorry, I'll do anything! Please don't leave me," she begs.

"Get her out here," he orders.

I immediately feel sick, I know he is talking about me. I silently plea for her to convince him to do something else, to go somewhere, to do anything but come find me.

"She needs her sleep, why don't you come to bed with me and-" she suggests.

"No! If I'm going stay here we need to talk about some changes that need to happen like now!" he screams and I hear him slap her again.

"Ana, come to the living room," I hear her say from my door.

I keep my eyes closed, hoping she will think I'm still asleep.

"ANA! I know you hear me, get out here now!" she yells.

I reluctantly sit up, sighing when I see that it's just after three in the morning and my chemistry test is in my first period so I will have no time to study. I slowly come out of my room, dreading what's about to come. He hasn't hit me in days; I think he has been too drunk to notice me half the time. They are usually at the bar by the time I get home from school and stay until the bar closes at two. I sneak out of the house in the morning as quickly as possible so I don't have to deal with them. He is standing in the middle of the living room, his eyes half glossed over and I see him swaying back and forth obviously drunk.

"Your piece of shit mother has convinced me not to leave her," he announces when he finally notices I'm in the room. "Things need to change around here if that's going to happen."

I don't say anything, instead wishing she would have told him to fuck off and just leave. I don't care if we would have lived in a shelter or in our car; anything would have been better than living with him.

"You're going to finally show me the respect I deserve, understood?" he screams.

"Yes," I whisper.

"UNDERSTOOD?" he repeats.

"Yes," I answer a little louder, my voice shaking.

"Every day, you're going to clean this shithole top to bottom," he states. "I want breakfast made before you leave for school in the morning since your mother can't boil a pot of water. I want my lunch made and in the fridge before you leave too. At the end of the school year, I want you to quit school. It's about time you start making money to pay for rent and food!"

"What? No, please….I'll get a job after school, please don't make me quit," I beg.

"I'll think about it, we will have to see how much you can bring in from an after school job," he replies. "I have a buddy who owns a strip joint in town, if your tits were bigger I could convince him to hire you."

"I'll find something, I promise," I plea.

"I said I'll think about it!" he screams angrily. "Carla, make yourself useful and get something out of my room."

"What do you want?" she asks never looking at me.

"You choose," he smiles at her.

I nervously watch their exchange; I know he's going to beat me, I try to prepare myself for it but there's nothing that can prepare you for the type of pain he inflicts when he beats me. I wish there was something I could do to escape this hell that I'm stuck living in. I've been trying to hide away food and any spare change I find at school or around the trailer hoping to have enough to move out one day. I have less than $20, which won't get me anywhere.

"It's about time you returned," he snaps as my mother walks out of their room carrying something behind her back that I can't see.

"Put your ass over the couch like a good girl," he says.

"No….please….I'll do anything," I beg, trying to move back to my room.

"Get over here or it'll be worse," he grunts.

"Please….please," I look at my mom begging for her to do something but she never looks at me. Her eyes are on him the entire time as if she can't see that I'm here.

"NOW!" he screams.

I have no choice, there's nothing I can do; I can't outrun him and even if I could where would I go? I reluctantly walk towards the couch, hoping that if I cooperate it won't hurt as much. He stands in front of the arm of the couch I so I have to stand in front of him as I lay my body across the arm of the couch. I'm wearing a thin pair of pajama shorts that are two sizes too small since my mother refuses to buy me new clothes I have no choice but to wear them. I don't dare just wear a T shirt to bed, I never know when he is going to drag me out of bed. He's made too many comments about my changing body, I know better than to wear anything that reveals my body to him.

"Carla, come here," he instructs.

She immediately goes to his side, they are both behind me so I can't see anything but I hear him whispering to her. I can't make out what they are saying-

"OUCH!" I scream as something hits my ass hard.

"Do it again," he instructs.

"Like this?" she asks before the piece of wood comes down on my ass hard again.

"Yes, keep going," he encourages her.

For the first time, she is beating me and although she is not as strong as he is it hurts so much more than when he beats me. I scream, begging her to stop but she says nothing and he just encourages her to continue.

"Even your mother knows you are a worthless piece of shit!" he bends down to scream in my face.

I close my eyes, desperately trying to tune everything out as she continues to beat me for what feels like hours. I'm on the brink of passing out from the pain, when the beating suddenly stops. I hear the paddle drop to the floor, before watching the two of them lip locked, groping each other headed to the bedroom.

Suddenly, arms are wrapped around me, holding me tightly. I struggle, desperately trying to get free from whoever is holding me, but they are too strong…

"Ana….baby….you're safe. They can't hurt you anymore, I won't let anyone hurt you," I hear a voice whisper in my ear.

It takes me a few moments to leave the trailer, to return to reality and realize I'm no longer in the hell that I lived in for so long. Instead, I'm sitting in a luke warm bath wrapped in Christian's arms; he is whispering in my ear over and over again reminding me that I'm safe. I'm breathing heavy, my body is shaking and I can't form a coherent sentence to save my life. I had completely blocked that memory out of my head for so long, I can't believe just hearing that she is in the same city as me brought it all back.

"Are you okay?" he whispers a few minutes later his voice full of concern.

I nod my head slightly in response, not quite able to talk just yet. My mind is racing, between the flashback and her now showing up in Seattle I don't know what do think. I know that she could never hurt me again, that Christian would do anything to protect me, but I can't help but wonder what she wants and why she is showing up now.

"The water is getting cold baby, I'm going to help you get out now," he says. "If you don't want….just say so."

I don't say anything, my mind is too busy trying to come up with reasons as to why she is in Seattle. Taylor said it still appears that she is using drugs, so that discounts the likelihood of her wanting to apologize for being such a lousy mother. As I vaguely feel Christian lay me on our bed, it dawns on me she has probably heard of my marriage to Christian which means she can only want one thing.

"She wants money," I whisper.

"Probably," he sighs sitting next to me on the bed.

"She must have read about our marriage; she's delusional if she thinks I'm going to give her a dime," I say firmly.

"We'll figure it out, don't worry," he assures me, gently rubbing my back holding me close to him. "She can't hurt you again, baby. I won't let her anywhere near you, I promise."

"I know," I say confidently.

"Are you okay?" he asks a few minutes later as we both sit in on the bed wrapped in towels. "I've never seen you like that….except for when you had a nightmare but this was different."

"Yeah," I sigh.

"Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to…" he offers.

"The moment Taylor confirmed it was her, my mind started racing," I explain. "And….I don't know how to describe it, but suddenly I was back in the trailer remembering the last time I saw her. She beat me that night-"

"She did?" he gasps.

"Yes," I admit sadly. "Their drinking had gotten worse, they were at the bar every day from opening until closing. How they made it home every night without wrecking is beyond me. They came home that night fighting, which wasn't unusual. He hit her a few times; she just begged him not to leave her. He agreed to stay but said things needed to change which is when he told her to get me out of bed."

"It's okay, you're safe," he picks me up, moving me to the center of the bed and holding me close to him. He puts the warm, heavy blanket over us as he pulls me close to him so my back is against his front and there is no space between us. This simple move has me feeling much safer, wrapped in Christian's arms I feel calm enough to continue to tell him what happened that night.

"He ran off this list of new things he wanted me to do every day; mostly just making his breakfast and lunch every day before school in addition to cleaning the trailer after school. But then he demanded I quit school which was the only thing that bothered me about what he was saying. I was determined to graduate from high school and go to college; it was my ticket out of that hell hole. I begged him to let me get a part time job after school to start paying rent, but all he said was he would think about it. That's when he told my mom to get something from their room, that she should choose what it was. I knew it was something to beat me with; he always kept the belts, canes and paddles in their room. I didn't expect her to hit me when she came back, but she did. Over and over again, she hit me with a paddle that had holes drilled in it," I say sadly.

"Oh baby," he wraps his arms tighter around me.

"It was the last time I saw her," I take a deep breath. "I don't know if she came home after that, if she did I never saw her. She wasn't there the night he beat me and tied me to the bed, the night when I finally ran away."

Christian just holds me, whispering in my ear how much he loves me as lay in his strong arms. Exhaustion quickly finds me, the flashback clearly taking its toll on me; moments later I feel my eyes getting heavy and soon I'm asleep in against Christian.