Chapter 5: Romance?
"Lucina! Lucina! Where are you?"
Lucina looked up from her pack as Morgan ran towards her.
"What is it Morgan?"
Morgan stopped and placed her hands on her knees as she caught her breath.
"I just came from the Shepherds camp, you won't believe this, I- Lu, Father is an idiot!"
Lucina gaped at her, mortified.
"Morgan, how could you say such a thing!?"
"No, Lu, you don't understand. I was watching father talk to mother. It was so stupid! He told her he didn't think of her as a woman. Last I saw, mother was chasing father around camp yelling about how a good knock to the head could fix his vision."
Lucina's mouth hung open. "Oh gods, father is an idiot…"
Morgan got a steely look in her eye, which gave Lucina conflicted feelings. On one hand, she hadn't seen Morgan look like this since before their parents died, but on the other hand, this was the face Morgan wore when she thought of a prank, and that made Lucina nervous.
"We've got to do something about this Lu! What if Daddy messes it up with mom somehow, and then the us of this timeline are never born because they don't get together!?"
Lucina felt the blood drain from her face at the idea. She hadn't considered that possibility.
"Right then," Lucina said as she rose from her position. "Let's come up with something to give them a little push."
Lucina stepped back to admire her handiwork. Above the entrance to the women's bathing tent now hung a sign that read "Strategy Tent". Robin had entered a few minutes earlier to clean herself, and Lucina knew for a fact that Chrom would be coming to find her soon, seeing as she had written an "alternate plan" on the map that Robin and Chrom had been using to plan their route to the Exalted family's eastern palace.
"Well, never let it be said you didn't inherit any of mom's tactical brains, Lu. This is brilliant."
Lucina rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Why thank you oh sister of mine," she replied. "But please, keep your voice down. Tent walls aren't very thick. We don't want her to hear us and get suspicious."
Morgan giggled and covered her mouth.
Lucina wasn't terribly sure what Morgan found so funny about this. It was practically a foolproof plan.
Lucina was about to tell Morgan off, when her fathers voice drew closer, so she settled for simply shushing her sister instead, and settled into their hiding place to watch the matchmaking begin.
"Hey, Robin?" Chrom called, "Robin! Are you in here?! Robin! … HELLO? I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT OUR NEXT MOVE!"
Lucina struggled not to facepalm. To any observer, it was obvious Chrom was not staying true to the royal tutors' lessons on princely conduct. Morgan was right. Father was a dork.
"Chrom?!" Robin answered from inside the tent, clearly alarmed. "I- is that you? Er, if you could just wait outside, I'll just be a moment…"
"What? Come on in?" Chrom asked.
Bingo.
"… Gods. Why is it so steamy in here? Did someone leave—"
"KYYAAAAAAAAAA!" Robin shrieked.
Uh oh.
Beside her, Morgan had fallen to the ground and was rolling on her back trying to contain her laughter. Perhaps this idea hadn't been quite as genius as she had thought…
"Ah there you are," Chrom continued, somehow unphased by his screaming friend. "I can hardly see a thing through all this blasted steam… Anyway. I wanted to consult with you on tomorrow's march. You see…"
There was a brief pause, and Lucina knew this was the moment of truth.
"Er, is there any special reason you aren't wearing any clothing?"
Morgan's dam broke. She burst into giggles that thankfully went unnoticed by the occupants of the tent.
"Chrom?" Robin said dangerously, "rather than just stand there like a slack-jawed village idiot, PERHAPS YOU COULD WAIT OUTSIDE LIKE I ASKED!"
"But I- You- Oh gods, I'm SO sorry! I didn't mean to! That is to say-"
"OOOOUUUUUUUTTTTT!"
Chrom rushed out of the tent, face burning brighter than a smith's forge, too caught up in his "blunder" to notice Lucina's shocked face, or Morgan rolling on the ground not even trying to contain her laughter anymore.
A few minutes later, Robin emerged from the tent, now dressed, but her hair was still soaking wet. Her face was flaming just as badly as Chrom's.
"All right, you!" She chastised, "What sort of idiot blunders straight into the woman's bathing tent?!"
Chrom, abandoning all Noble decorum, began to grovel.
"I'm sorry! Very, very sorry! I misheard you! I had no intention of peeping, I swear!"
Robin glared at him exasperatedly. "Just… fine…" she sighed. "Apology expected. Get up Chrom. You're the prince for Naga's sake. Now, what was so damned important?"
Chrom gulped. "Oh, uh… I was hoping you could offer some advice on tomorrow's route?"
"Fine. What are the options?"
"Well, according to our map, one route is this steep trail through the cliffs, or we could circle the cliffs and follow the main road across the plain. I imagine either would work, but I wanted to see if you had a preference."
Chrom blushed again.
"Because I value your opinion so much…"
Robin's blush also returned, but she did her best to ignore it. "Hmm. I'd say the path through the cliffs. The main road would be easier, but if we encounter a Plegian force, it will be easier to protect Emmeryn with the cover the cliffs will provide. We'd be totally exposed on the main road."
"Right…" Chrom said, running his hand through his hair. "That's what I was thinking. Thank you for the advice. And, er, yes! Well, that's it I guess! So yes… bye!"
Chrom turned and began to walk away, and just as Lucina was beginning to mourn the failure of her "foolproof" plan, she saw her mother smile fondly.
"Goodbye," she said softly.
Chrom looked over his shoulder once more.
"And Robin?" He said cautiously. "I'm really sorry about the bath thing. I promise I didn't mean to catch you like that."
Robin's cheeks turned pink, again.
"It's fine. Water under the bridge. Let's forget about it and move on."
"Er, yes!" Chrom said, eager to forget his blunder. "Good idea… I'll… catch you later? Wait, no! I mean I'll SEE you later! ARGH! NO! I mean- GOODBYE!"
Chrom turned on his heel, and dashed away, presumably to the other side of the camp in an attempt to escape his embarrassment.
Robin laughed to herself, before turning to go and clean up her mess in the bathing tent.
When she was gone, Lucina stood from her hiding place, thinking deeply.
"Well," Morgan said through the last of her giggles, "that went great. What's the plan now?"
"Based on the looks on their faces, and how much they were blushing…" Lucina said thoughtfully, "I suppose… it was a step in the right direction?"
Morgan was flabbergasted. That was not much of a success in her opinion, but it seemed that Lucina thought differently.
"Yes," Lucina said with resolve, clearly not noticing Morgan's disbelief. "That nearly worked. When the opportunity next presents itself, we shall have to try again! Don't worry Morgan, I'll make sure that mother and father get together.
For her part, Morgan was fearful of the beast she had seemingly released upon the Shepherds camp.
Morgan's stress levels had been very high the past few days. The ambush at Breakneck Pass, the betrayal of the Hierarch, who was supposed to be a close family friend, (though if he had betrayed them in the original timeline, Morgan supposed it made sense she had never heard of the man), Aunt Emmeryn's bestowal of the Fire Emblem upon father and subsequent departure back to Ylisstol, and the traumatized state of Aunt Cordelia had been weighing heavily on Morgans mind as she and Lucina followed the Shepherds north to Ferox.
Not to mention the fact that since history had officially been altered, Lucina and Morgan were now effectively operating blind. Their knowledge of the future could no longer be relied upon in the absolute capacity it had been up until now.
So yeah. Morgan was stressed. And evidently she was not the only one.
In the past week or so since the now infamous "bathing tent incident", Morgan had seen her father become even more tongue tied around her mother than before. Morgan didn't know a lot about romance, so she couldn't tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing. It was clear that Chrom was agonizing over the problem as well.
Despite only following the Shepherds, it seemed that some interactions with the camp were unavoidable. While she and Lucina had been following Chrom around as discreetly as they could, they had quite literally run into their Aunt Lissa, who had decided that they were the most interesting thing in the Shepherds camp at the moment, and a handy distraction from her own stress over her sister's fate.
"How long am I going to have to follow you two before you explain to me what it is you're doing?" Lissa complained.
Morgan snorted. She liked Aunt Lissa a lot. She also had the most memories of her out of any of the adults, considering that she and Uncle Frederick had lived the longest in the future. To be able to interact with this younger version of her aunt, unburdened with the regency of the last bastion of society in a dying world, and at the height of her legendary pranking days and childish tomfoolery, this was an opportunity for Morgan to learn about the art of mayhem from the best of the best.
Lucina sighed, but said nothing, instead focusing on Chrom, who was pacing outside of his tent and muttering to himself about his troubles.
"I feel so awkward around Robin," the prince muttered. "Ever since that bathing-tent run in."
Morgan couldn't help it. She giggled at the reminder of Lucina's hilarious attempts at matchmaking.
Lissa looked at her oddly, before a look of understanding crossed her face.
"Wait a minute, were you two responsible for the bathing-tent thing? Firstly, that's awesome. A great prank. Secondly, I got blamed for that! Frederick chewed me out for an hour over something I didn't even do!"
Lucina looked slightly guilty, but held up a finger to her mouth in that universal gesture for silence, and pointed towards Chrom, who was still monologuing to himself.
"… I've never had this problem before!" He griped, looking pensive, before he took on an expression of enlightenment. "Ah I know: a bath! Yes, perhaps a nice hot bath is just the thing for my nerves…"
Morgan watched as Lucina got a triumphant look in her eye. "Mo," she began, "keep tailing Chrom. I'm going to go and give Robin a nudge in this direction. Our plan will still succeed!"
Before Morgan had a chance to argue or Lissa to question her, she left, running off into the camp in search of Robin.
Morgan sighed and looked at Lissa. "You wanna see something hilarious?"
Lissa looked at her with a wry grin.
"Do I?"
Morgan wasn't sure what Lucina had done this time to get their mother moving, but judging by the little sign Lucina was hanging in front of the men's bathing tent, it had something to do with the Shepherds convoy inventory. Lucina crouched down next to Morgan and Lissa just as Robin rounded the bend muttering to herself about lances and axes.
"Are you guys going to tell me what the plan is, or not?" Lissa asked, but Morgan and Lucina both shushed her reflexively.
"I'll just need to redo the inventory to make sure none of the equipment needs to be replaced or repaired… ah, here it is. The arms storage tent. I'll just head in and-"
Morgan shook Lissa's shoulder, indicating this was the moment of truth.
"AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!" Robin shrieked, and once again, Morgan was reduced to fits of giggles as she watched her mother flounder at the sight of a naked Chrom.
"Robin?" Chrom's voice rang out from inside, utterly confused, "where did you come from?"
But Robin just screamed even louder.
"What in the blazes are you screaming for!?" Chrom yelled back. "If anyone should be screaming it's me, isn't it? You're suppo- OUCH!"
By now, Morgan and Lisa both were bent over with laughter as Lucina watched in dismay as her plan once again failed.
"Ow! Stop it! Stop throwing things! Hey, that's sharp! Don't- YEOWCH!"
Robin's face was flaming. "Have you no shame?" She questioned. "Noble or not, you should at least wear a towel when you address a lady!"
It was all Morgan could do not to howl with laughter. Mom clearly wasn't over the whole 'I don't view you as ladylike' incident.
Chrom, apparently, was just baffled over it all. "B-but, you- Ow! You were the one who walked in on me!"
Robin finally stopped throwing things, and ran away as fast as she could, hands hiding her face.
"Oh my gods," Lissa said as she reined in her laughter. "I didn't know you two were such pranksters! That was hilarious!"
"It wasn't a prank…" Lucina mumbled. That nearly sent Morgan into another fit of giggles, but she managed to hold them back.
"If it's not a prank, then why did you do it?" Lissa asked.
"There are some parts of the future that we need to stay the same," Morgan answered. "Marth's methods at preserving the good parts of the timeline just don't seem to be as good as her efforts to avert the bad parts."
"Then why-" Lissa began, but cut herself off when she realized the purpose of the plan, mouth forming an 'o' shape.
"Darn it!" She continued frustratedly. "Now I owe Emmeryn my dessert!"
Morgan snorted in amusement. She had nearly forgotten the bet Emmeryn had mentioned back in Ylisstol. She was about to respond to her aunt when Chrom excited the bathing tent, thankfully fully clothed and furiously drying his hair with a towel as he strode off in the direction Robin had fled.
"C'mon," she said. "Let's go see what happens next."
They followed Chrom at a distance as he made his way towards Robin's tent. Morgan couldn't hear what Chrom was saying as he knocked on the tent pole before entering, and crept around to the back of the tent so that she, Lucina and Lissa could eavesdrop on their conversation.
"Are we done throwing things?" Chrom was saying. Morgan stifled a giggle
"I think." Robin replied. "… I don't know what happened. Something just snapped and…" Robin trailed off, as if she was unsure of what to say, which surprised Morgan a little, since her mother had always known what to say to make things better in the future. Perhaps it was a practiced skill.
"Well, no harm done," Chrom said mirthfully. "The gods' justice, perhaps, for my earlier blunder!"
"Thank you for being so good natured about it," Robin said. "I feel terrible about that soap dish. How's your ear doing?"
"Better. It still stings a little, but better. In any case, look on the bright side: we've seen each other naked now, right? So I guess we've got nothing left to hide. In a way, we're closer than ever."
Morgan was stunned. Somehow, someway, Lucina's hare-brained scheme had actually worked, and now their mother and father seemed to be moving forward in their relationship.
"Not the most appropriate way for a man and woman to get to know each other…" Robin remarked. "But… I suppose so long as nobody else knows…"
Chrom chuckled. "It's like we're partners in crime sharing an unsavoury past! Anything that brings us closer will make us stronger on the battlefield, just you wait."
"Partners in crime huh?" Robin giggled. "I like the thought of that. Well, partner, your secret is safe with me."
Lucina and Morgan shared a glance. Their parents were unexpectedly… silly, when they spoke to each other in private. Their conversations were frank, and it seemed as if Chrom the leader and Robin the tactician had melted away, revealing two young adults awkwardly navigating a friendship rapidly developing into something more.
"Perhaps…" Lucina whispered, "we did not have to intervene after all…"
"What made you decide to get involved in their love life to begin with?" Lissa whispered curiously.
Chrom and Robin continued to banter inside the tent while Morgan explained to Lissa how she had seen their argument over a week ago about being ladylike.
Lissa held back a laugh. "Yeah, I guess that is cause for concern."
"Wait a moment," Chrom said, still inside the tent. "When you were talking about keeping the secret, were you just talking about the fact that we've seen each other naked, or…"
Robin giggled. "Don't worry Chrom, I'll keep your rubber ducky a secret too."
This time, even Lucina joined in on Morgan and Lissa's barely contained mirth.
That night, Lucina and Morgan watched in fond exasperation as the Shepherds made camp. In the dining pavilion, the Shepherds ate and drank freely together, and when the more musically inclined broke out their instruments to play, they became certain that regardless of if Lucina's scheme had played a role in pushing Robin and Chrom together or not, they need not worry about their parents relationship, as Robin and Chrom were attempting to perform a waltz despite the fact they were clearly drunk.
Watching the pair dance together like playing children, the sisters knew that they had nothing to fear in regards to their parents' love life.
So, iirc, it's a pretty widely accepted headcanon that Robin is the one playing matchmaker with the Shepherds, seeing as they are the player's stand-in and literal avatar. I just decided to pass that trait onto her daughter in this fic. Lol. Lucina's inner shipper has been awakened, and Morgan is fearful of the monster she created. Fortunately Lucina also inherited her fathers dork genes and still has a lot to learn. I felt the last chapter was a bit heavy, what with assassination attempts and Morgans frankly quite graphic nightmare, so even though it ended on a happy note, I wanted to make this chapter comedic, seeing as it's likely the last we'll get for a while, until we get to the time skip period, where things quiet down and I can play around with the characters and setting in a less serious context. (It's also one of those dedicated "support chapters' ' I mentioned thinking about attempting). Don't worry though, I still mixed in some plot progression in this chapter to let everyone know what's going on at this point in the story. Even amidst the shenanigans, there's room for story developments.
As always, let me know if you find mistakes or have advice on how to improve my writing. I really want to become a better writer and fanfiction is my practice ground, but I can't do that without constructive criticism, so I appreciate any critiques you might have to offer.
I'd also like to apologize for my lack of updates. I love this story a lot, but have been holding back from uploading anything due to my sense of obligation to my other fanfic, which I am losing interest in more and more as the developments of the story it is based on continue to ruin my plans for the fanfiction. That and the fact that it was far too ambitious a first attempt at writing for an amateur like myself. I'm not sure how much it will even continue after this mass upload I'm planning, if at all. To make up for it, this story is getting a triple threat three chapter upload of everything I've been holding back! I hope you all enjoy!
Outtakes From The Outrealms 2
Grima's got Ligma
"Foolish Mortals!" The thunderous voice of the Fell Dragon boomed. "You cannot possibly hope to defeat me!"
"You're wrong, Grima!" Chrom retorted.
"Yes, yes, you have your bonds or whatever," the monster said exasperatedly. "It matters not. My victory is the inexorable truth!"
"Wrong again you dastard!" Robin cried. "You can't possibly hope to defeat us when we use the power of Ligma!"
Grima looked confused. "What in the blazes is Ligma?"
Chrom had to place a hand on Robin's shoulder to steady himself while Robin had her hands on her knees as she bent over in an attempt to contain her laughter.
"What!" Grima roared. "I demand that you tell me!"
Chrom wiped a tear from his eye, struggling to speak through his mirth. "Lig- Ligma balls."
Grimas pupils dilated. "No…" it murmured. "No! No, no, no!"
Immediately, the monster began to shriek and convulse as the power of Ligma coursed through its body, while Chrom and Robin broke down into peals of laughter at the Dragons failure and downfall. To make things even better, they had defeated the beast without even fighting it or Robin sacrificing herself. Truly, there could be no ending to the struggle as satisfying as that.