"You are going to have to do something about this, Ginny," Hermione whispered in a firm voice, insistent. "I am not having Malfoy hounding me after work every day, it is getting ridiculous!"
Ginny could have screamed in frustration at the mess she was in. Why couldn't this be simple? Why couldn't Draco just let it lie? "What do you expect me to do?" she asked, biting her tongue from saying something she might regret instead.
"Tell your family the truth," Hermione replied as if that was so simple. "They will know soon enough, Malfoy will find you soon enough and, despite being a complete arse, he is determined to be in the baby's life. They are going to know eventually."
Ginny looked around at her family, all gathered at the Burrow for Halloween, enjoying the afterglow of having eaten a large dinner and now conversing in small groups. The children were off playing upstairs somewhere as she could hear them all rattling around and shouting with laughter. "I don't know how to tell them," Ginny admitted. "I expected Draco to go back to Astoria, and I certainly never expected to end up pregnant. This was all supposed to remain on the island, never to be spoken of, and never to see each other again."
Hermione sighed. "And, unfortunately, that hasn't happened," she said with a pitying look. "So now you are going to have to find a way to tell them before Malfoy does something utterly rash and stupid. Like barge into my office and demand to see you in front of all my colleagues. I truly wouldn't put that past him from what I've seen of him this week."
Ginny scoffed. Draco had been passionate the moment they had been alone together and there had been that passion in her too, the moment they touched, she had felt it. An instant connection such as she had never experienced before – he made her feel drunk, made her feel provocative and made her feel she could have stayed with him forever on that island. It had been a strange experience from the start, to be attracted to Draco and she had known she felt an attraction the very moment she saw him on the terrace and caught him eyeing her up. Then he had seen her by the lake, kissed her even then... But, then there was his words, the words he spoke to her on his yacht, that made her forget the past and the dislike that was supposed to be between them, made her forget who they were and then the damage had been done.
It had only been Astoria showing up that had brought sharply and rudely back to reality as nothing else had, not even her own doubts. The fact that he was willing to risk losing the family he desired for her, for a chance to see where things would go with her, was almost obscene. Ginny could not let Draco toss that away for a relationship that had only lasted a matter of weeks, a relationship that would have been difficult to hide at home and one that would have subsequently been difficult to announce to their respective families and friends. It had to end and so she had left him.
She had returned to her life as normal, went back to training for the Harpies and found she was worse off even than before. She felt dizzy, she felt nauseous being in the air, felt tired at all the wrong moments and that was when she found out she was pregnant. The team had been supportive, had promised to keep her place open for her to return, but Ginny found she didn't want to – having this baby was a whole new start, and she wanted to spend time with the baby for as long as she could.
She had intended to Draco after she had given birth, she didn't want him interfering with her mind, trying to persuade her to be with him when her hormones were up and down. That hadn't happened either. And she had been tempted to go with him last week, let him have what he wanted – She wanted what he wanted, but she knew this was absurd. Ginny stood by her assessment that they could never work, their lives were very different, their backgrounds were very different. But, it was her attraction to him that scared her the most – whenever she was around him, she felt she could let herself fall and fall, let her control ebb away. It was that loss of control that made her scared of seeing him again.
"What about Draco?" she finally asked, looking Hermione directly in the eye.
Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she gazed past Ginny. "Well... you know my feelings on him," she replied slowly and Ginny could sense she was struggling with herself. "However, you can't keep the baby from him, it is not fair, even if he is a massive git."
Ginny was afraid Hermione would say something like that, even about Draco, whom she obviously despised. "He wants me to marry him," Ginny said with a nervous laugh.
"How... noble of him," Hermione settled on saying, though Ginny could tell by the way she wrinkled her nose that she was not best pleased with such a revelation. "I think Ron would be apoplectic... I'm not sure what would be hardest for Ron to take – the fact that you would marry Malfoy or that you are carrying his baby. It's a tough one."
Ginny normally couldn't give a fig about Ron's opinions, but this was different. So, so different. This was about her falling under Draco Malfoy's irresistible spell, a spell she should have found easy to deflect. Many wizards had tried it on with her, even when she was with Harry, and she had hardly ever been tempted, few were ever successful. But, Draco – he was intense, he knew how to speak to her, how to seduce her, how to hold her, how to kiss her, things she had never known she had a preference for. Admitting that she had fallen for Draco in front of her family was embarrassing, admitting that she had maybe made a mistake.
"I can't marry him, Hermione," she said quietly, reaching out to her friend. She wanted her to tell her what she should do. Never before in her adult life had Ginny felt she couldn't make her own decisions and it frightened her, it reminded her of her first year at Hogwarts. "How can I know we would last? I don't want to get married for the sake of it."
Hermione sighed. "Ginny, not even I wish to say this," she breathed in and exhaled heavily, "But, as a friend, as someone who loves you, as a sister, I want you to be happy and you will never know if you will be happy unless you stop avoiding Malfoy."
Ginny stared back at Hermione, knowing it must have been difficult for her to impart that piece of advice. "How terrible would family gatherings be? You said it yourself -."
Hermione stood abruptly. "Ginny, stop making excuses and find out for yourself," she said in a firm voice, but her eyes were soft. Ginny knew Hermione didn't want this to happen, but she would accept it and Ginny was thankful that at least one person would support her no matter what she decided. "This has to end or begin, it's your decision."
"How do I find him?" Ginny asked, standing with Hermione.
Her friend scoffed. "Meet me after work tomorrow, five o'clock," she said, rolling her eyes. "He's bound to be lurking about, he truly is incessant."
...
For at least five times that afternoon, Ginny had changed her mind about going to the Ministry of Magic, or at least waiting outside of it. Now she found herself inside a little tea shop just on the corner of the road where the Ministry was, with a seat by the window and an excellent view of the comings and goings of the passers-by. Of course, the muggles would see nothing out of the ordinary and if they did, it would just seem as though there were an inordinate amount of people leaving the nearby loos. Not that the muggles would notice, with or without anti-muggle charms, they were too much in a rush going about their own lives to notice.
The tea shop reminded Ginny of Madam Puddifoot's in Hogsmeade, a place she had visited many times with a couple boys wishing to sneak a kiss from her, all frills and bows. That was such a long time ago now and here she found herself in a tea shop waiting to ambush Draco Malfoy.
Oddly dressed people were beginning to leave the alley which the Ministry toilets occupied and Ginny checked the clock on her wall. It was five to five and there was no sign of Draco. She wondered if he had given up trying to pressure Hermione, when she saw a flash of white-blonde hair amongst the stream of people now leaving the alleyway. No one else had hair like that and she quickly rooted around in her jeans pocket for muggle change to leave on the table, before hurrying out of the shop and against the masses of Ministry workers wanting to go home.
"I will get a restraining order out on you, Malfoy, if you don't stop pestering me!" That was Hermione, her irate tone of voice was unmistakable.
"Then tell me where she is!" she heard Draco insist. "Even you know I have a right to my child, Granger!"
The pair of them came into view as she pushed past an old man dressed in a violent pink suit and cloak, Draco towered over Hermione but she was in no way intimidated by him, she never had been. Relief flooded Hermione's face as she saw Ginny walking towards them, and Draco turned to see what she looked at.
"I'll leave you to it," Hermione said to Ginny. "You can thank me later, Malfoy!" she called back to Draco, who didn't seem to hear at all, and then she disappeared into the crowds.
"Hello, Draco," she said as she stopped in front of him.
Draco blinked, obviously taken aback by her appearance, but he shook himself and inhaled deeply. "You can't keep my child from me," he said in a firm voice. "I know my rights, and I will pay for the best damn solicitors in the country to fight for them."
"There is no need," she replied, looking up at him and he looked surprised again. "I have no intention of keeping this baby from you. Listen," she said, glancing at the workers, mindful that they could be recognised, "why don't we talk over dinner?"
"Dinner?" he asked, not expecting such an offer.
"Yes, dinner," she repeated.
Draco nodded. "At my place then," he said and, without warning, he grasped her hand and disapparated with her. The feeling of being squeezed into a very tight tube was wholly unpleasant and it was worse when Apparating with someone else, it made her feel utterly sick. They landed quicker than she thought they would, but Draco had to steady her as she swayed precariously. "Are you OK?"
"You could have warned me," she snapped at him. "It's not good for me to do Side-Along!"
"I'm sorry," he said, his hands on her shoulders as he stooped to check on her closer. "I didn't realise, are you OK?" he repeated, his silvery grey eyes searching her own.
"I'm fine," she sighed, pulling away from him, not wanting to be so close to him before getting her wits about her. "Just be more careful next time."
Draco smiled down at her. "I will," he promised. He moved further into the room and Ginny was taken aback by how large it was and by the view from the windows, an uninterrupted panorama of muggle London. It twinkled in the darkness, lights glistening from every direction, lights from boats on the River Thames, lights lining the bridges, lights blinking at the very top of buildings. It was very beautiful and it was a view one could only pay through the nose for.
"I thought you said you lived in a flat?" she said as she took in the rest of the living area. There were stairs leading up to another floor above, no doubt where his bedroom was. Thinking about his bedroom made her heart quicken and she stopped herself immediately, she couldn't allow herself to be drawn in by him.
"It is a flat," he replied, settling into an armchair in the middle of the room.
"This is more like a penthouse," she said in exasperation. "You have an odd way of downplaying things – first the boat, now this."
"It's a glorified flat which I paid more than I should have for," he replied with a shrug. "Are you going to sit down then?" Draco gestured to the sofa beside the armchair.
Ginny took a seat and sat perched on the edge of it, unsure why she felt so uneasy. Though Draco always made her feel uneasy in that he could make her act so unpredictably – but, she was ready for it. He wouldn't catch her unawares now. "So, what are we having for dinner then?" she asked.
Draco leaned forward in his armchair, closer to her. "What would you like?" he asked, his voice soft, almost like a breath.
Ginny clenched her legs together, tighter, and pushed her hands down between her legs as he came close. "I can have anything?"
"Of course," he answered. "Frisk!" he called suddenly, his eyes never leaving hers. Ginny wondered why he called out something so random when a house elf came toddling into the living room from one of the doors that led off from it. "We have a guest this evening, Frisk," Draco said, gesturing to Ginny, "and she will be having dinner."
The house elf bowed low. "What will Master Draco and the Weasley be wanting for their dinners, Frisk wonders?"
Draco chuckled. "You can call her Miss Weasley, Frisk," he said.
"Ginny is fine," she interjected.
"Ginny, then," Draco added. "Let Frisk know what you want and he will make it."
Ginny wondered at this lifestyle, it seemed so different to her own even though she had lived some of it through the money she earned as a chaser, but this was something else. This was wealth and opulence. Then she remembered that they were awaiting her order as they both stared at her. "Umm... can I have a lasagne?" she asked politely.
"Miss Ginny may choose whatever she will like," Frisk said with another low bow. "And what will Master Draco want?"
"I'll have the same, Frisk, and a bottle of red," he added.
"Apple juice for me, if you have it," Ginny requested. "I can't have wine," she said when he gave her a questioning look.
"Yes, I didn't think about that," he muttered. "An apple juice for Ginny, then."
Frisk bowed again and left them alone once more.
"So, are you still not talking to your father?" she asked tentatively.
"No," he replied carelessly, "but he will come around soon enough. I have no doubts on that."
Ginny shifted in her seat, very aware of the closeness of his body to hers again, aware of his heady scent that reminded her of the island and her hedonism.
"Relax," she heard him murmur close to her ear and she stiffened as she felt his hand on her knee. "Just relax."
"I am relaxed," she said in as calm a voice as she could muster. This was not going to plan at all, she was meant to be controlling this meeting, meant to be discussing the baby and how this would all work. But his eyes, like the steel of a sword glinting in the sun, caught her, the look he conveyed in them, the communication between them from a simple look.
"I've seen you relaxed, Ginny," he replied, a smirk on his lips as he drew ever closer to her, his hand travelling up her leg. "And this isn't you being relaxed." And she was transported back to the island, where his words and his voice had seduced her, where he had made her lose all common sense to the carnal pleasures he induced in her. Merlin, she had missed this, missed him and the way he made her feel.
This must stop, she thought abruptly, alarming herself as she stood up and walked from his reach. This was a bad idea, coming to his place, coming to where his bedroom waited for her. She shook her head. No, no, it did not wait for her. What an absurd thought.
"What's the matter?" she heard him ask as she stared out the window again, looking over the vast expanse that was London. She shut her eyes as she saw him reflected in the glass, coming to stand behind her, and she breathed in deep as she felt his hand settle on her waist. "Do you fear me?" he whispered against her throat as he encircled her fully, his hands holding her tight to him even as she stiffened again.
"No," she replied, staring back at his reflection and watching as he held her so intimately, like they had never been apart for these three months at all.
"Then what makes you cringe from me?" he asked, his voice calm but she could sense a strained note there. Draco was not used to her resistance, hadn't had to contend with it for a while.
"I fear what you could make me do," she said quietly, having to force herself to say it, to be honest.
Draco chuckled against her neck and she shivered as he placed kisses there, one after the other. "I have never made you do anything," he muttered. "You have always done what you wanted. Perhaps, I only ever needed to give you a little push to get you there, but I never made you."
Ginny knew he was right, knew she made her own decisions on that score, but it was the weakened grip she had on her control around him that concerned her. The fact that he must know that concerned her. "You know what you do, Draco," she replied. "You know how to get me to dance for you, don't deny it."
Draco laughed again, this time he rested his chin on her shoulder so as to look at her in the glass. "I don't deny it, I will own that proudly," he said, still smirking. "So, why don't we dispense with all the pleasantries and do what we know to be inevitable?"
Ginny stared at him, her eyes wide as she disbelieved how forward he could really be. Though she knew she shouldn't have been surprised, considering how she had spent most of her holiday with him. "I came here to talk about the baby, Draco, not to have sex with you," she said calmly, though she knew she was nothing but calm. Far from it. Her pulse beat firmly against her throat and she knew Draco could feel it, knew what it meant.
"Sometimes, one's initial intentions can change," he murmured, standing tall behind her now and reaching around to get her to face him. Ginny raised her hands instinctively to his chest as he leaned in closer to her, but he only laughed. "This again? You know how useless this is," he chuckled before lifting her chin up with a finger and pressed his lips to hers softly. Her body reacted instantly to his touch, it wanted to relax into him, wanted to betray her and let him take control. His mouth pressed harder, demanded more from her, and he knew how to get more. He nipped her lower lip and sucked it ever so gently. "Come now, Ginny," he whispered between kissing her, "let me taste you again. My little nymph..." He chuckled and slid his hand under her jumper, the warm skin of his hand touching her back and it was like a fire ignited within her.
Soon, she would be lost to him, lost in him. There was nothing she could do to stop it, she didn't want to stop it. She had missed his touch, his kiss... everything, had denied herself for so long. Ginny did all that made sense in that moment, she obeyed him and let him taste her so she could taste him. She reached up and encircled her arms around his neck, letting him reach under her jumper and hold her ever closer, their bodies impossibly close.
"Dinner is ready!"
Ginny sprang away from Draco and caught her breath back. Frisk had returned to the living room and seemed blissfully unaware of what his master had just been doing with his guest and Draco looked positively livid as the house elf went back into the kitchen. Frisk had arrived at the right moment, saving her from her own lack of restraint.
"Come," Draco said brusquely, gesturing for Ginny to follow him. "We will be eating in the dining room."
Ginny followed him through another door into the dining room, a tidy room with a large rectangular table in the centre and another view of London framing the whole scene. Dinner was already on the table, waiting for them. Frisk had placed them both at opposite ends of the table, which Draco seemed to grumble over. At least it meant they could talk without being tempted to touch each other, which they seemed very incapable of doing at present.
Ginny sat down and placed the napkin on her lap before tucking in. It was surprisingly well cooked, though why she had thought any different was a mystery. Though secretly she thought hers was better. "Thank you for dinner, by the way," she said.
"Would have been better if you cooked," he replied. "I haven't seen you do that for a while."
Ginny couldn't help but smile at the memory of him admitting to her that he found it a turn on to watch her make food or tidy with her wand. She swiftly pushed that to the back of her mind. There were more important things to deal with. "The baby, then," she started after taking a sip of the Apple juice. "I have an appointment at the hospital next week. Just a check up, if you want to come?"
"Obviously," he replied. "And I'll be coming to every one after that."
"That's fine, they are usually every three weeks," she said, feeling comfortable now with discussing this in a matter-of-fact way. This was safe ground. "The baby is due in April, they told me at my last appointment."
"And when will we know if it's a boy or a girl?" he asked, and she had to stop herself from smiling again as she detected a little excitement in his voice.
"At the next appointment after this one," she said. "But I want it to be a surprise."
Draco nodded, returning to his food and so she followed suit until they had finished. "So, how do I pick a name if I don't know the sex?" he asked after finishing his glass of wine.
"Pick one from both, obviously," she replied, but she frowned at him. "And you make it sound as though you only get a say. I'm not letting you name it something ridiculous, like... Salazar or something stupid like that."
"Why would you think I'd pick that?" he asked with a grimace. "I'm not that attached to Slytherin. No, my mother's family have a tradition for naming children, I should like to carry that on."
Ginny had many names in mind for her child, none of which probably covered his requirements. Not that she had to listen to what he wanted, but she would rather keep this amicable. "And what is the tradition?" she asked, dreading the answer.
"Constellations and stars, of course," he replied. "How do you think my mother chose my name?"
"That's not... so bad," she said slowly. "But only if I like the name," she added. "And I get to pick the middle name."
Draco shrugged. "That's fine with me," he replied.
"Good," she said with a nod. This was going far better than she had hoped so far, even with her near loss of control in the living room earlier. "And you can visit whenever you like, of course, but I would prefer you to warn me beforehand."
Draco laughed then as he sat back against his chair. "Whenever I like?" he asked, humour in his expression. "Of course I will see my child whenever I like, you will be living here with the child."
Ginny almost spat her drink out at his comment, but managed to swallow it in time before coughing loudly. "Living here?" she spluttered, patting her chest as she coughed some more.
"Yes, living here," he replied casually.
"I have my own flat," she pointed out. "I'm not homeless."
Draco nodded. "And I'm sure it is a very nice flat," he said in a placating tone, which only irritated her. "But I'm sure you can understand that it is customary for husband and wife to live together, to share the same bed..." He trailed off, leaving that open for her to imagine.
"When did I agree to marry you?" she said incredulously. "Why would you want to marry me?!"
Draco sighed heavily as though tired by her questions, as if they were questions he had answered a thousand times before. "Have I not already told you this? Do you relish torturing me?" he asked, frowning. "We can't stop this, we can barely maintain any sort of control around each other. Once you've had this child, it will not be long before you give me another," he said confidently, assured by his own words so much that he believed it. It made her believe it for a second or so. "And perhaps more. I should like to have a large family, Ginny, and it will not work at all if you should refuse to be my wife."
Ginny stared at him in shock. "You are very self-assured," she said, pursing her lips.
"I'm not self-assured, Ginny," he said, rising from his chair now and immediately causing her to still as she wondered what he was doing. "I just accept the bare truth of it and it will better for all of us if you would accept it too." Draco bent down beside her. "And wouldn't it be cruel to deny our child a sibling?" he asked, a smirk tugging at the side of his mouth. "I always wished for a brother."
Ginny rolled her eyes at him. "No, you didn't! I bet you loved being spoilt!" she said, laughing at the ridiculousness of his comment. "Besides, who says it won't have a sibling? I might meet someone else."
Draco scoffed. "You won't," he said firmly. "I'll make sure they won't be able to have children when I'm done with them. Besides, I know you won't." He placed a hand on her knee again, his fingers lightly stroking her there. "You belong to me – mind, body, soul. No one else will satisfy you as no one else can satisfy me, it is futile to fight this. Why would you want to fight this?"
"You assume far too much, Draco," she replied, knowing she should be angry with him for the words he spoke, but she couldn't be. She hated that she didn't want to fight the attraction, the desire to touch, the desire to just be. She hated that her body could make her betray her family so easily. And it was so easy to give into him, she had learned that months ago on his boat, that first night they had slept together. But he couldn't just expect her to marry him, they hardly knew each other really.
"I assume nothing," he muttered, his hand now reaching for hers to pull her up out of her seat. "But you will be my wife, no matter what obstacles you put in my way, you will be my wife."
"Draco, you must stop this," she insisted, looking away from him before he could even think of kissing her. "You must see that this is ridiculous!"
Draco chuckled and simply nuzzled her exposed throat and it made her feel safe, his arms wrapped around tightly around her. "What is ridiculous is your resistance, little nymph," he said into her neck. "What is ridiculous is how you believe you can fight this when you don't even want me to let you go now."
Ginny clutched at his arms and tried to push him away, to no avail, and she supposed she didn't want to. She could easily hex him if she wanted, make him leave her be, but she wanted him to hold her. It went deeper than just lust, now she carried his baby she felt a deeper bond with him, she felt there was a security in his arms that no one else could offer her or the baby, she felt as though nothing could affect her when he held her, when he kissed her and maybe that was all she needed to face her family. Him, by her side, reassuring her. Ginny swallowed and shook that thought away. It was only her hormones making her think so irrationally.
But then he released her and she felt a deep sense of loss as he stepped away from her. She had to force herself to stay where she was instead of reaching back for him.
"Come, let me show you something," he said, holding his hand out for her to take. "Come, it's nothing bad."
Ginny eyed his hand. Whatever he thought, any physical touch between them was a bad idea and she couldn't think of anything pure coming out of whatever he wished to show her. All the same, she took his hand and followed him from the dining room, her curiosity getting the better of her. Her apprehensiveness grew as he led her up the staircase to the upper level and she slowed her step down.
"Don't worry," he said to her, glancing at her with a smirk. "It's not my bedroom, we have plenty of time to look at that later." He winked at her and ignored her protestations as they stopped at the door at the far end. "I've been getting this done since last week," he said. "Surprising how damn expensive it all is."
Draco pushed open the door and let her go inside first. Ginny gasped, overwhelmed all of sudden, and this she knew was definitely her hormones kicking in. "It's... it's a nursery," she whispered as she took in the lightly painted walls, stepping further in. There was a changing station up against one wall, a huge horde of cuddly toys in varying sizes in one corner of the room, a Moses basket, a rocking chair and an unfinished cot up against the other wall.
"It's not finished yet," he said from behind her. "And you can get whatever else you think we need. My mother was very... demanding when I told her about the nursery, only the best, Draco, she told me."
Ginny felt her lower lip trembling as she looked around, going deeper into the room, wishing to Merlin that she could control her idiotic hormones. She couldn't wait for them to calm down, if they ever would. The sight of everything, the thought of her baby sleeping in that beautifully made Moses basket made it all seem so real, the thought of her feeding the baby whilst in the rocking chair was too much. It sent her over the edge and she felt herself unable to stop a pathetic sob from escaping. "Bloody stupid..." She muttered through her tears, wiping them away hastily, but more flowed over her cheeks making her action pointless.
"What's wrong?" he asked, standing in front of her and grasping her arms. "Does this upset you?"
Ginny shook her head, not wanting to look up at him. "No," she mumbled. "I just... d-didn't expect th-this," she said, still sobbing. "Merlin, stop crying, you idiot!" She wiped her face furiously with the sleeve of her jumper. "It's just my stupid hormones," she grumbled, "they said I would be like this for a little while. It's bloody pathetic."
Draco only chuckled again. "So, do you like it or not?" he asked.
Ginny nodded. "It's lovely, Draco," she replied softly, wiping her nose again. "I haven't even started on mine..."
Draco sighed heavily. "I told you, you will be staying here," he said in a stern voice. "I refuse to live apart from my child, do you understand? Even if you have to sleep in a separate bedroom, I cannot have my child living elsewhere."
"Draco... You can't expect me to give up my flat or my house" she said, her voice still thick from her tears. "This is the bloody hotel room all over again!"
"And what happened then?" he asked, crossing his arms as she made to storm off, but he caught her arm before she could. "You cancelled it and stayed with me! Let's get over this preamble now and sort this out."
"I'm not living with you!" she insisted. "Selling my flat and my house requires a lot more work than cancelling a hotel room!"
Draco growled in impatience, but the sound sent a thrill up her spine as it reminded her of rough kisses and their sweaty bodies coming together in passion and lust. "I'll get a solicitor to do that for you," he said, snapping her out of her thoughts.
Ginny sighed. "This is just too much, Draco," she said, shaking her head. "You expect too much from me. I haven't even told my family about this yet."
Draco stared down at her, a mixture of emotions passing over his face – fury, desire, need, determination. "Then tell them," he said in a gruff voice. "I'll even face them with you, I have nothing to fear from them."
Ginny was shocked by this. "You would tell them with me?" she asked, bemused. "And risk getting the shit kicked out of you?"
"I have nothing to fear," he repeated. "I want this done and out of the way, it serves as nothing but a barrier between us, between me and my child."
Ginny agreed, nodding slowly. "I will tell them, but I think it is best to let me do this on my own," she added. "They will definitely try and kill you otherwise."