Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. All characters, places, descriptions, etc (unless original and created by me) belong to her.

Summary: It was a small pack, of course, just the five of them, but together they were something wild. Hermione finds herself in the Marauders' Era with four new best friends.

A/N: to guest reviewer: I'm doing edits/rewrites so the other chapters you remember will be coming!

Chapter 18: Propter Libidinem*

24 September 1977

Seventh Year Girls Dormitory

So it had come to this. After telling the Marauders, Hermione had spent the rest of the week with a false sense of security. But when Saturday rolled around…

Saturday was three days before the full moon, and Hermione was starting to feel it. Almost the second the clock struck midnight, Hermione awoke with a start and launched herself to the bathroom to empty her stomach. She felt as if the moon was pulling on the contents of her stomach, and she groaned in pain over the toilet bowl.

"Hermione? Oh Hermione, are you okay?" And suddenly Lily Evans was by her side, rubbing circles into her back. She crouched down beside Hermione and brushed back her hair, holding it away from her face.

"Hermione, do you want me to take you to the hospital wing? I'm sure Madame Trapner has something to make you feel better."

Hermione sat there for a minute, catching her breath, looking frail and pathetic. She took three deep breaths and then leaned away from the toilet.

"No, no, thank you, Lily. I think I'm fine now."

"Are you sure?" Lily looked skeptical. Hermione smiled at the concerned girl.

"Yes, I promise. I just, um, I get terrible cramps. It's just something that happens. I'm just going to go down to the common room for a bit."

"Okay, but let me know if you change your mind."

Hermione smiled at the redhead and pulled herself to her feet. Her limbs felt tight and achy, but Hermione was determined not to let it show. She didn't want Lily worrying about her more than she already did. Hermione grabbed a blanket and shuffled down the stairs to the common room after brushing her teeth. She sat on the couch staring at the fire before spotting an all too familiar book on a nearby table.

She rose and collected the book, settling back down on the couch. As she opened the cover, she thought surely Rebecca Thompson wouldn't mind if she borrowed her copy of Hogwarts: A History. Reading the opening lines, Hermione felt that familiar feeling of comfort sweep over her, and twenty pages later, she was fast asleep.

Seventh Year Boys Dormitory

Sirius was counting the seconds in between Peter's snores, and it was all getting a bit ridiculous. Sirius had never been much of a sleeper. Sure he loved lazy days just as much as the next person, but he never really slept all that much. At Grimmauld Place, life had been awful. He averaged about three hours every night, ever since he had started school. Hogwarts was better. Here he could usually get five hours, six if he was lucky. But the best place, oh Sirius' favorite place to sleep was at James' house. James' parents had taken him in and treated him like the prodigal son returned. He slept like a normal person there, full REM cycles and everything.

It wasn't really like Sirius needed to sleep. His body was quite accustomed to running on empty. No, the annoying part was his routine had been screwed up.

In the past, Sirius had escaped the dormitory and spent hours messing about in the common room. But then Hermione arrived and she was always there. So he let her have the common room, for her nightmares. But surely she wasn't still having them.

After a brief internal argument, Sirius swung his legs over the bed and padded down to the common room. He looked around, noticing a fire was still burning. He moved toward the fireplace and noticed Hermione's presence.

She had fallen asleep on the couch, but was currently shaking terribly. Sirius' eyes widened as he realized she was having a nightmare.

Darkness. And flashes of light. So quick they barely illuminated the nothingness.

Flash. Moony was there, somewhere in the darkness.

Flash. Jaws wide open, teeth dripping with blood, her blood.

Flash. Pain.

Hermione opened her mouth in a silent scream, arching her back. Sirius took a step back, startled, before rushing to her side.

"Hey, hey, Hermione, it's okay. It's me, Sirius. I'm here. It's me, Sirius."

This was the worst part.

He was there again. The older him, speaking words of comfort.

"It's me, Sirius. I'm here. It's me, Sirius"

As he spoke, his face changed, years fell off.

Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Moony approaching again.

"Sirius!" Hermione screamed out loud this time and Sirius fell back on the floor. The amount of emotion and fear in her voice took him by surprise.

"Hermione, I'm here. Come on, you can hear me. Wake up, Hermione."

"Wake up, Hermione. It's a nightmare. It isn't real."

Hermione shook her head in confusion. This was off. This was wrong. He wasn't laughing or taunting or leaving. This hadn't happened before.

She blinked, but his face didn't change. He was still the young one.

Then maybe, maybe…

Hermione gasped for air before her eyes opened. She felt Sirius' presence before her eyes opened. She felt grounded in reality once again before they opened. She felt safe.

But then she opened her eyes.

The second brown met grey, Hermione's irises exploded in a rain of gold. Sirius felt awe just moments before his back hit the floor. Hermione had thrown her body over his and was holding his hands above his head. Her knees were tight around his waist, and her hair was tumbled down around her face.

If Sirius was being honest with himself, he would have admitted he wasn't terribly opposed to the position he found himself in. But that's another matter.

"Hermione?" Hermione melted into Sirius' chest at the sound of her name on his tongue. She flipped her hair to one side and pressed her ear to his heart.

"Mmmm, say it again, Sirius."

"Hermione, what are you doing?" Hermione ignored him and snuggled deeper into his chest, moving her hips ever so slightly. Sirius sprung into action, wrenching his hands out of Hermione's grasp. He attempted to move away from her, but Hermione was intent on remaining close to him. Somehow, they switched places.

Sirius was now atop Hermione, who was wearing quite the satisfied grin.

"You wanna play, Sirius? Let's play!" Hermione laughed and lifted her face toward Sirius, snapped her teeth playfully. Sirius leaned away but held her firm.

"Padfoot, you down here?" Remus' voice carried from the stairs. Sirius' head perked up and he looked over the couch to call for his friend.

"Remus!" Sirius managed a short shout before Hermione used his distraction to her advantage and flipped him over again.

"What the–" Remus stepped over to and around the couch until he had a full view of Hermione and Sirius.

Hermione looked at Remus and winked at the other werewolf. Then she turned back to Sirius and dragged her nose from his navel to his collarbone, breathing him in. She moaned so quietly only Sirius picked it up. His eyes widened, and he looked at Remus for help.

"Moony, mate, you got to stop her. She's possessed or something. And it's getting a bit uncomfortable for me, if you know what I mean."

Remus finally seemed to come out of shock and then looked at Hermione.

"Hermione, stop." His voice sounded nervous, and he glanced quickly at Sirius. The second time he spoke, his voice was deeper, rougher, commanding.

"Hermione, I said stop. Get off him."

Sirius looked at Hermione, his shock turning to wonder as the gold drained from her eyes, trailing tiny threads of sparks in the wake. This time when brown met grey, Hermione instantly shut her eyes. She climbed off Sirius and backed away, avoiding the gazes of Sirius and Remus.

"Oh Merlin, not again."

"Again?" Sirius pulled himself off the ground. "What do you mean again?"

"Ugh," Hermione groaned. "This has happened before. Twice actually." Hermione was furiously blushing and her head, eyes closed, was directed at the floor. "Once with Remus, and once with, uh, the other werewolf I knew."

"What the fuck was that?"

"I'm new. At this whole werewolf thing. It, um, it takes some getting used to. It takes a lot to control my emotions and instincts."

"It's also close to the full moon. It's worse now." Remus chimed in.

"So… what?" Hermione sighed and turned to the spot in the room Sirius' voice was coming from.

"So anyone I find remotely attractive in any way is going to trigger my instincts."

"Thanks, Hermione." Sirius smirked.

"She said remotely," Remus scoffed. Hermione smiled. "Hermione, I think you can open your eyes now."

"Whoa, whoa, I don't want her jumping me again!"

"Relax, Padfoot, I'm here now."

"Well that's all fine and dandy, Remus, but what the hell can you do?"

"I can control her."

"What?"

"Bad choice of words, Remus. What he means is that my inner wolf responds to his inner wolf. I think it's because his is older, maybe."

"This is so weird."

"Tell me about it."

The boys were silent as Hermione danced a little on her toes, trying to decide if it was safe to open her eyes. She took a deep breath, concentrating on Remus' scent, shifted a little closer to Moony, and then opened her eyes.

This time the gold didn't immediately appear. Hermione pictured that fraying rope in her mind and focused on keeping the pieces together, braiding it back in place. She blinked slowly and looked at Remus. Remus and his handsome face and his soft hair. No, not at Remus. Moony, look at Moony.

Hermione's eyes tightened and her brow furrowed. She stared intensely at Remus.

"Uh, what is she doing?"

"I'm. Focusing. On. Moony." Hermione answered Sirius as if each word was a danger to her concentration. "It. Helps."

Remus looked back at her with sympathetic eyes and nodded.

"Oh, screw this." Hermione muttered an accio charm and a purple eye mask floated down from the girls' dormitories. She grabbed it out of the air and pulled it over her face. Letting out a sigh of relief, Hermione leaned against the wall.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other before moving a little closer.

"Hermione, you need to practice your control if you're ever going to be able to handle the full moon. I know it's hard, but I can help you." Hermione sighed.

"I know, I know. You're right, Remus. I just–" She sighed. "I'm tired. My whole body feels like it's flexing all at once. I'm nauseous. My bones ache. I just can't do it right now."

Sirius looked between the two werewolves. Hermione's head had fell forward and her shoulders slumped. She looked frail and small. Remus was looking at Hermione with sad eyes, but they were full of understanding. Because Remus knew, he knew what she was going through. Sirius moved forward toward Hermione.

"Come on, come up to our room. You can stay there for the weekend. You won't have to deal with anyone or see anyone. We can hide you away for the weekend." Sirius put his arm around Hermione's waist to lead her up the stairs. He pulled his arm back sharply when she flinched at his touch.

"Sorry. I just-um…" Hermione didn't finish the sentence but was silent when Sirius put his arm back around her. She took a deep breath and followed him, only exhaling when she felt a callused hand scoop up her free hand.

She stayed in Remus' bed all weekend. Remus of course had borrowed pillows and blankets from the rest of the boys and slept on the floor right next to her. James and Peter brought her meals from the kitchens, and Peter was very patient with her when they played wizard's chess. James massaged her shoulders, and Remus always sat by her side when the other boys were near. Although it seemed her emotions had settled, she wanted Remus close by just in case anything happened.

She did, however, throw caution to the wind whenever food arrived. It seemed her instinct to feed herself trumped any other instinct. For this she was both extremely embarrassed and grateful.

Throughout the weekend, Sirius kept his distance, and Hermione couldn't blame him. She was just glad he wasn't avoiding her completely. She was worried she had properly ruined their chance at friendship when she attacked him, so she didn't say anything when he just sat on his bed, watching.

She wore the face of a fighter, stoic and determined, but when she thought the Marauders weren't looking, her mask would slip. Sirius could see fear and questions bubbling beneath the surface. But he didn't really understand. She was frightened—of who they were, of being alone, of having to live here in the past… but above all her greatest fear was herself.

After a while when she was given time to think and ponder, the fear and questions would dissipate and a new face would appear looking out through her eyes. Anger took to the stage. She didn't know it, but that was when they caught the first few glimpses of the wolf within. When she lost control for just a second—snapped at James, slammed a door—that's when Sirius saw who she could be, someone angry, someone fierce, someone with no inhibitions.

Sirius never told her but from that point on, he never stopped trying to guess where she came from.

With Remus and Sirius so close and their scents washing over her in constant calming waves, Hermione slept soundly without nightmares. She slept dreamlessly, but she woke up with a start, thinking she was back at Grimmauld Place again. She felt a bit drugged, lying there in Remus' bed. It obviously calmed the wolf inside her, but it made her feel out of it and lost in her head. She spent a lot of time thinking of the Remus she had left. She wondered what he was doing.

And while Hermione was forever thankful to the Marauders for letting her hide away for the weekend, she felt horrible hiding from Lily. But with another stroke of good fortune, James had taken care of Lily for her.

He had run into Lily as he was bringing food back for Remus and Hermione. The red head had been waiting for him, sitting on the steps to the boys' dormitories. She was chewing nervously on her lower lip, and James took a second to appreciate the sight before Lily stood up. Hands on her hips, hair like fire tumbling behind her, she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Where are they?"

"Hello, Lily Darling, how are you?"

"Where are they, James? Where is she?"

"Who?"

"Potter…" Lily warned. James' face sunk a little at the use of his first name.

"Twenty-four," James mumbled.

"What?" Lily's voice was still harsh.

"A new record. You didn't call me Potter for twenty-four days." Lily looked shocked.

"You-you kept track," she said dumbly.

"I always do." Lily was stunned into silence. She blinked at James and looked away as a blush started crawling up her neck. She took a deep breath and looked back up at him.

"Where's Hermione?" Her voice was softer now, calmer.

"She and Remus aren't feeling well. We've quarantined them in our room. We're keeping the sickies together. Can't have our fellow Gryffindors catching it as well."

Lily looked skeptical, but she let it go, turning away from James. She walked past him to the stairs to her own room. When she looked back, James was still watching her. She smiled.

"Thank you, James." James smiled back at her before she disappeared up the stairs, but not before she heard him whisper.

"One."

A/N: *Because of Lust