Chapter 49: In Tenebris, Lux*
17 June 1978
Hogsmeade Station
The delight on Dumbledore's face at the collective hangover of the students of Hogwarts that Saturday morning was a magical thing indeed. The old wizard chuckled to himself as students slugged through the front doors for the last time that school year. He waited until the last carriage had left for Hogsmeade Station before heading back into the empty castle. He had a lot to plan.
Sirius groaned again as the carriage hit another bump in the road. The ride so far had been excruciating to say the least, but Sirius was determined to keep his breakfast in his stomach where it belonged. The carriage lurched again.
"Mother fucker!" He shouted while burying his face in his hands.
"Oi, keep it down, Pads," James whispered hoarsely. "Some of us are trying to sleep."
"How in the bloody hell can you sleep right now," Sirius whinged. "I'm just about dying over here trying to keep my breakfast out of Moony's lap."
"And I certainly appreciate the effort, Padfoot, but it would be better if you shut your mouth."
Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but another bump in the road caused him to quickly trap it shut. Remus sat beside Sirius, his half-closed eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses. The full moon was three days out and his hangover was doing nothing to help Remus' moon.
Everything hurt. The only benefit he saw was that he had no energy to spare on thinking about what he had interrupted between Hermione and Sirius the night before. He glanced over at his suffering friend and shook his head. This couldn't end well, could it?
As the students milled around the platform at Hogsmeade Station, Sirius jerked Remus over to the side.
"Moony, you gotta help me." His voice was desperate. "What am I supposed to do about Hermione? About last night?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Remus played dumb, halfway hoping he could get out of the conversation.
"Moony, come on." Sirius deflated. "She saw Reg last night, before the party. Said she wanted closure, but – Remus, she went to him, last night."
"Listen, if you're serious about her, you have to accept that she saw something good in Regulus. You can't hold that against her."
"I'm not holding it against her. I just – Ugh! Regulus ruins everything."
"Pads, calm down. She said she wanted closure, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"So that means their little friendship or whatever is over. Closure, as in it's closed."
"Oh."
"Yeah, so don't be an arse about it."
"Okay, don't be an arse about Reg. Now what the fuck am I supposed to say about the other part of last night?"
"Ugh, don't remind me."
"Moony," Sirius shoved his friend. "We weren't doing anything. We were just snogging. Well, heavily."
Remus grimaced.
"For real, Moony, what am I supposed to say? Last night was fun. Let's do it again tonight and tomorrow and the next night—"
"Merlin, no. Have you learned nothing from James over the years?"
"Right, of course. Don't be too clingy. Okay, so, don't be an arse about Reg and don't be clingy. Alright, fuck off now, here she comes."
Remus looked over to see Hermione approaching. A heat flared in his chest as he looked between his two friends. He swallowed a growl. Moony wanted out, wanted to haul Hermione out of the way and fight Sirius so the mutt could prove himself worthy. Remus shook his head to clear it and walked away, hoping they didn't notice his internal struggle.
Hermione walked up, her eyes following Remus' retreating form. She could smell Moony in the air. It made her want to go to her Alpha and see what was troubling him. But she steeled herself and finally turned to Sirius.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," he said.
"So, about last—"
"I'm sorry," he blurted.
"What?" Hermione said, taken aback.
"I'm sorry about freaking out over Regulus," Sirius said, rubbing at the back of his neck. "As much as I hate to admit it, you guys were friends and you deserve whatever closure you need."
"Thank you?" Hermione's brain was having trouble processing Sirius' apology and the script she had prepared completely flew out of her head.
"Listen, um, about last night," Hermione began, "I don't want you to think—" I don't want you to think I do that all the time. Hermione winced, thinking back to one of the few confrontations with Lavender during sixth year.
"Have you ever even kissed anyone, Hermione? You know most guys like a girl with at least some experience. And I don't think reading about it in a book counts."
At Hermione's words, Sirius winced, his mind going somewhere else entirely. So he spoke before Hermione could.
"It was a bit of fun." He ruffled his hair with a hand, trying to look nonchalant and cool. "No big deal, Pup. It was fun."
"Oh, okay. Yeah." Hermione blinked at him.
Moments later after Sirius had walked away, Hermione was still trying to process what happened when someone shouted her name.
"Granger!"
Hermione craned her neck to look around the platform for whoever was looking for her. Her eyes widened as she took in the wizard walking toward her.
"Ben?" Hermione took a step closer as the wizard in question jogged up.
"Hey," Ben smiled. Hermione couldn't help but return his cheerful grin.
"Hey! What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to catch you before you left." He shoved his sleeves up his arms and Hermione was momentarily distracted by the runic bracelet wound around his wrist.
"Wait, what? Why?" She looked back at him. He was still smiling.
"I want to take you out." He held up a hand to stop her from answering right away. "Now I know you've probably got a lot of post-graduation things to deal with, so I'm going to give you time to settle in to the real world. But look for my owl, yeah?"
"Um," Hermione glanced across the platform to where Sirius stood chatting with Remus. She felt strangely guilty standing there talking to Ben, but why? Sirius had made it quite clear there was nothing serious between them. She turned back to Ben.
"Sorry, yeah, that sounds good. I'll look for your owl."
"Excellent. Well then, see you around, Granger." He winked at her and then disappeared back into the throng of students.
Before Hermione could move, a pair of hands landed on her shoulders.
"Was that Ben Goldstein I saw?"
Hermione turned to see James with Lily walking behind him.
"Erm, yeah."
"What did he want?" Lily asked.
"Well, he sort of asked me out." Hermione blushed.
"Oh my gosh, really? What did you say?"
"Yes? Sort of." Hermione answered. Lily grinned.
"That's so fun!"
The group was, thankfully in Hermione's opinion, interrupted by the whistle of the Hogwarts Express.
"Come on you lot," Hermione was already walking away. "Let's see if the others found us a compartment."
As the Hogwarts Express chugged along the Scottish countryside, the weather shifted. Clouds rolled in and the sky darkened. A storm was building. Looking at Remus sleeping against the window, Hermione was hit by a flash of déjà vu. She shivered.
"You cold?" Sirius, who was sitting next to her, leaned over. She shook her head and turned back to look out the window.
The ride passed quietly. Not even the sweet from the trolley lady could tempt out any raucousness. There was a solemn mood that captivated the compartment and no one seemed ready to let it go until James spoke.
"Alright," he clapped his hands together. "Hogwarts graduates. What's our plan?"
"Mum and Dad are picking me up," Remus shrugged.
"Same," echoed Lily and Peter.
"And we're going back with Dad," James motioned between himself, Sirius and Hermione. Hermione, with nowhere else to go, had taken little convincing to join the boys at the Potter residence.
"And then?" prodded Sirius.
"Right, and then," said James." "Okay, spend some time with your families, eat a nice homecooked meal, and get some rest 'cause tomorrow night we're meeting at my house before hitting the Leaky."
"Why the Leaky Cauldron?" Hermione asked.
"Ah, I forget you don't know." James turned to Hermione. "It's tradition for the graduating class to meet at the Leaky Cauldron the night after we leave Hogwarts. The final hurrah."
Hermione nodded and smiled. James winked before addressing the entire compartment again.
"So, all in?" He struck his hand out into the middle space between them all. They collectively rolled their eyes, but one by one the pack and Lily added their hands to the pile. James looked across at Sirius and the gleam that had returned to his eyes. Sirius grinned.
"All in."
The Potter Residence
Dinner at the Potter residence was a quiet affair. Although Charlus had greeted them all at King's Cross, the outing had clearly taken a lot out of him. He retreated to his office and left the three kids to their own for dinner.
James, Sirius, and Hermione chatted and laughed throughout the meal, but it was clear they all had things on their minds. As the conversation tapered, the trio struggled to hid their disinterest. For a while the room tried to fill itself with the clinking of glasses and the scrape of knives against plates.
"Well," James said, standing. "I think I'll go see if Dad wants anything to eat."
He left Sirius and Hermione to their awkward silence. Hermione shifted in her seat, the debate that had been running in the back of her head since the train ride had finally won. She cleared her throat.
"Sirius?" She didn't wait for him to look at her before continuing. "I can understand if you don't want to – and that's fine – but I'm just thinking about Monday's moon. And with leaving Hogwarts, it just has me a little worried."
"Spit it out, Pup." Sirius' voice was firm but concerned. Hermione finally met his eyes.
"Will you help me? Will you fight me?"
Sirius looked at her, looked at the fear of rejection that was clear as day on her face. He had hated it, fighting her, that last time. He knew Hermione was stronger than him and faster than him, but facing her like that, trying to give her a fair fight, trying to win… No, Sirius hadn't liked that at all. But it was something she needed and he couldn't deny her.
"Sure."
He was holding back, she could tell, but there was still something there. It felt like anger or resentment, maybe. He had been silent since they'd started apart from grunts and heavy breathing. Hermione was annoyed.
"Okay, she held up her hands as she caught her breath. "I think that's enough."
They were panting as they stepped apart and pulled themselves together. Hermione chewed on her lip.
"There's something else, too."
"Yeah?" Sirius patted his hair back in place as he panted.
"On the platform today, in Hogsmeade, I saw Ben Goldstein." Hermione looked away and busied herself with the hem of her shirt. "Anyway, he asked me out."
She missed the way Sirius' eyes darkened.
"He caught me off guard and I didn't know what to say, so I said yes." She looked back at Sirius and when he didn't say anything, she kept talking. "And I figure it's okay and you probably don't even care 'cause you said last night didn't mean anything. But, I just wanted you to know. I didn't want it to seem like I was keeping it from you or anything."
When she stopped speaking she just looked at Sirius with wide eyes. She honestly didn't know what she wanted him to say. Did she want him to congratulate her on the date like Lily and James? Did she want him to get jealous? Did she want him to take the time and actually talk about what happened in the boys' dormitory and what it meant for them? Or did she want him to ignore everything so things didn't have to be this strange and complicated?
With everything swimming in her head, Hermione didn't know how to feel when Sirius finally spoke.
"That's great, Pup."
A/N: *In Darkness, Light
Hang in there everyone. Hope this brings a little sunshine to your day or starlight to your night.
-V