Sometimes it's really hard to go on in life, not knowing what fate tomorrow holds.

But you should keep going, trusting God that everything will eventually be alright.

-Ojingiri Hannah

Elizabeth hummed happily as she walked home from town. Her talk with Lucas had gone a bit better than expected and a weight had lifted from her shoulders. She knew he was a proud man and wouldn't take well to the idea that he had not gotten what he'd wanted concerning their relationship. She understood that his pride was wounded, so she hadn't taken it too personal when his usual cordial attitude had waned somewhat. To be truthful, she had expected him to be much colder in order to hide his hurt feelings. She was glad that he still wanted to be friends and completely understood his request for time and space. Parading her courtship with Nathan and hurting him further was the last thing she wanted.

Despite the chill in the air, she walked at a sedate pace, just enjoying the quiet and beautiful scenery. It had been a tumultuous morning, so she appreciated the calmness surrounding her. Hope Valley was such a picturesque little town, and she loved it so much. She never could've imagined how much she would fall in love with the little hamlet, as Rosemary liked to call it, but she had, and she couldn't imagine living anywhere else. It was the place she had made some of the first truest and most genuine friends in her life. One could never know if a friendship in Hamilton was formed for the connections and benefits rather than a desire for simple, authentic companionship. It was where she'd formed a connection with her first students, making lives better through education. Hope Valley was also the place she had fallen in love for the first, and now second, time in her life. It was where she'd given birth to her son. It was where she wanted to make a life with Nathan, Allie, Little Jack, and however many children joined them in the future.

The rest of the day passed peacefully, for the most part. Little Jack had awoken from his nap just as they had finished their lunch and Allie had volunteered to help feed him his small bowl of soup and half a roll. Nathan had gone to his house to change out of his uniform then Elizabeth had sat with him on the settee and in a low tone he'd imparted the events of the morning. She'd clutched his hand tightly throughout the explanation, but she'd been strong and kept her tears from falling. A part of her felt bad for Jenny O'Rourke. The young woman had just wanted to save her brother, but now she'd ruined her life by committing, albeit accidentally, murder. Nathan had said Jenny had lowered the rifle and was on the verge of surrendering. It was a sad situation, but Jenny must now face the consequences of her actions.

A surprise had come in the evening with an invitation to dinner from Bill. He'd closed the cafe early and was providing dinner for Constable John Howard, and had invited Rosemary and Lee, and Elizabeth, Nathan, Allie, and Little Jack. Carson had volunteered to stay at the jail with the O'Rourke siblings. Jenny had not said a word since the shooting, and Carson had wanted to observe her behavior, making sure she didn't try to harm herself in her guilt. Bill had said that even Elias had been more subdued with his talkative antics. He'd tried speaking to his sister, telling her it wasn't her fault, but Jenny had only retreated further into the corner of her cell, curling herself into a ball on the floor.

Bill, Nathan, and Constable Howard had avoided talk of Mountie business due to the presence of Allie and Little Jack. The conversation had not been as lively as usual, but they had strived to make it normal, if a bit muted. Allie had again helped Little Jack with his meal and it warmed Elizabeth's heart to see them interacting so well. Rosemary had shared a couple of secret smiles with her and Elizabeth knew exactly what it meant: Rosemary was happy that Elizabeth had found happiness again and was glad at the way Allie happily volunteered to look after Little Jack when she didn't need or have to. It just showed she was more than ready to be a big sister.

After dinner, Nathan had gone with Bill and Constable Howard to the jail to check on the O'Rourke siblings while Elizabeth, Little Jack, and Allie had rode home with Lee and Rosemary. Allie had been excited because it was her first ever car ride. She'd even asked Lee to go as fast as the car could, but Lee had politely denied her request. Elizabeth had held her laugher in. There was no doubt that Allie would be their little daredevil. Once home, Allie had pitched in again and helped Elizabeth ready Little Jack for bed. Even with his afternoon nap, the little boy was tired and had not made it very far into The Tale of Peter Rabbit. Again, Allie had read to him.

Elizabeth was perusing her lesson plan for the next day when Allie came back downstairs. She sat on the settee and Elizabeth joined her, facing the young girl. "Allie, I know that we talked earlier a little about what happened this morning, but I want you to know that if you still need to talk, your uncle and I are here for you. You know that, don't you?"

Allie nodded. "Do you remember when you told me that writing things down helped you when you had a lot of feelings?"

"Yes," Elizabeth said.

"Well, so much has happened since yesterday and I haven't had a chance to write anything since last night. I feel so overwhelmed. I'm happy for you and Uncle Nathan, I really am. And I know that Uncle Nathan loves me, but I'm worried." Allie's attitude reminded Elizabeth of when Allie had been so dejected when Nathan had tried to keep her from meeting her grandfather.

"What are you worried about, Allie?" Elizabeth prodded.

"Little Jack is your son. I'm just Uncle Nathan's ward. Once the two of you get married and have kids, I don't know if that means…" Allie trailed off, leaving her sentence unfinished, looking at the floor.

Elizabeth was certain she understood her meaning, however.

"Are you worried that once Nathan and I have children of our own that you won't mean as much to us?"

Allie nodded. The vulnerability in her eyes tore at Elizabeth's heart. She took her hands. "Allie, just because you're not a biological child does not diminish your importance to your uncle, or to me. I know for a fact that Nathan sees you as his daughter, and that will never change, no matter how many children come along. I always try to help my students, or anyone in need, Allie. It's just who I am. But I'll be honest with you. You quickly became very special to me. You and Nathan both. There was something about the two of you that kept drawing me in closer and closer. I might have fought against my feelings for your uncle for a long time, but now that we're together, I very much want the four of us to become a family. In truth, it feels like we already are in many ways."

"I feel like we are, too," Allie said, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Why did you fight your feelings?"

Many adults might think Allie's question impertinent and would choose not to answer, but Elizabeth knew she was a curious girl, and it was a fair question. It not only affected her uncle's life, but hers as well, so Elizabeth understood why she would ask.

"You know that my late husband was also a Mountie and died in the line of duty, don't you?" Allie nodded. Elizabeth took a deep breath. "When you and Nathan first moved to Hope Valley, I wasn't ready to move on. I never thought I would, to be honest. But when I began to realize I might have feelings for your uncle, I was scared. Jack died because of his job, the same job your uncle has. I allowed my fears of losing Nathan like I lost Jack to control me, listening to the part of my mind telling me the risk was too high."

"What changed your mind?" Allie asked. "If you don't mind my asking," she added shyly.

"I don't." Elizabeth smiled at her. "It was Mr. Coulter's accident that changed my mind. His job is much safer than a Mountie's, but he was still hurt and could have died. It still took me some time to come to terms that I could lose your uncle if we pursued a relationship, but that the risk was more than worth it."

"Did this morning almost change it again?" Allie's voice was small and vulnerable again.

Elizabeth smiled at her sadly. "Allie, I won't lie to you. This morning frightened me more than I'd like to admit. My worst fears were almost a reality, again. But none of us have any guarantees in this life, Allie. I just have to trust God that He will keep Nathan safe. I can't let the what ifs rule my life, fearing what tomorrow could bring. If I did, I wouldn't just break Nathan's and your heart, but my own as well. I've experienced enough heartache already that I don't want miss out on a life full of love just because I'm afraid. As to your worry about your place, please don't. You may not be my daughter by blood, but it won't change the fact that you are in every way that matters. I promise."

Allie threw herself into Elizabeth's arms, holding her tightly. Elizabeth returned the gesture two-fold. Their hug was interrupted by a knock on the door. Allie wiped at her eyes as Elizabeth stood to answer it.

Nathan stood at her doorstep and Elizabeth stepped back after they exchanged greetings so he could come inside. He looked past her and she could see the concern on his face. She followed his gaze to see Allie rubbing her still-red eyes.

"Is everything okay?" Nathan asked tentatively.

"Yes. We had a chat. I was able to soothe a worry she has, but the two of you probably still need to talk."

"What is she worried about?"

"Her place with us once we start having children."

Nathan grimaced and he looked over at Allie again, worry in his own eyes. "I didn't know she was worried about that."

"I've done my best to reassure her, but it's probably something she needs to hear from you as well," Elizabeth said.

Nathan nodded his agreement. "I'll talk to her."

Allie joined them, yawning widely. "Hey, Uncle Nathan," she said sleepily.

"Hey yourself, kiddo. I need to talk to Elizabeth for a minute if you want to go on home and get ready for bed," Nathan said to his niece.

"Okay. Goodnight, Elizabeth," Allie said, giving her another quick hug.

Elizabeth returned the affectionate gesture. "Goodnight, Allie."

Allie left and Nathan and Elizabeth sat on the settee.

"Is everything all right at the jail," Elizabeth queried.

"Yes. Jenny still hasn't said anything, and Elias was asleep when we got there." Nathan frowned. "Carson's really worried about Jenny, though. He inspected the cell to make sure there was nothing there she could use to hurt herself, but he left the bedding in case she does want to sleep at some point, it's too cold without it, and she could use the sheet or blanket if she was determined."

"Oh my," Elizabeth lamented. She felt so sorry for the young woman. "What's he going to do?"

"Carson is going to sleep in the back room in case he's needed suddenly, but Bill suggested she's watched at all times, so we were making a schedule of shifts before I left."

"That's a good idea. What time is your shift? Allie can stay here so she won't be alone if yours is in the middle of the night," she offered.

Nathan smiled his gratitude at her. "Thank you, but Bill didn't want me or John there until the usual time in the morning. He said we needed our rest after this morning's incident."

"Is Bill going to stay? He needs his rest just as much you do. He was there, too."

"No, he's not staying. Jesse, Mike, and Kevin all volunteered, so Bill deputized them for the night. Jesse is there now, Mike will relieve him around 3 AM, and then Kevin will take over. I don't foresee any problems, to be honest, so it should be fine. I'm just glad someone will be there to watch over Jenny. I would hate for the situation to become even more tragic." Nathan sighed, dejected.

Elizabeth's heart went out to him. She knew that a part of Nathan must feel like it was his fault because he'd not been able to procure her surrender sooner, therefore saving the life of Constable Novak.

She placed her hand on his arm. "Nathan, you did the best you could under the circumstances. Jenny O'Rourke made her choice, and unfortunately, it was one with deadly consequences."

"I know, but I still-"

"No, Nathan," she cut him off firmly. "You have no culpability in this. Please, believe me," she pleaded.

Nathan cupped her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. Elizabeth closed her eyes and breathed in his scent, letting the light scent of eucalyptus surround her.

"You always know what to say, Elizabeth. What would I do without you?" he breathed out.

"You'll never have to find out," she whispered back.

She felt like this was the perfect moment to share their first kiss, but Nathan pulled away. She could see longing in his eyes, but instead of leaning forward again, he stood. "I should get home. I'm sure Allie is waiting up to say goodnight."

Elizabeth stood as well, disappointed, but understanding. Maybe this wasn't the right time for a kiss, she thought. The day had been pretty emotional, so maybe Nathan didn't want their first kiss to be in the wake of such tragedy. She could see his logic, if that were the case. They walked to the door, but before he opened it to leave, Nathan turned back to her.

"If Laura can't stay to watch Little Jack after school tomorrow, would you be comfortable with Allie watching him on her own? I'd like to talk to you, in private, if we could," he said.

She could detect an anxious undertone in Nathan's voice, but Elizabeth dismissed it for the time being. "I completely trust Allie with Little Jack. If it's not too cold, we could take a walk. If that would suit you?"

"That would be fine," he replied with a nod.

"Okay," she said, smiling. "Goodnight, Nathan."

Nathan took a step forward and kissed her cheek. "Goodnight, Elizabeth." He turned and left.

The day had been long, so Elizabeth readied herself for bed. She looked in on her son one last time for the night, pleased to see that he was sleeping soundly. She couldn't help but wonder what Nathan wanted to speak to her about the next day that would require the privacy he'd requested. There was a niggling sensation at the back of her mind that something might be wrong, but didn't have the slightest clue what it could be. Since it was pointless to dwell over what she didn't know, she settled herself in bed, drifting off to sleep faster than she thought she would. Thankfully, her dreams were peaceful that night.

Nathan's insides were twisting, guilt churning in his stomach, as he walked home from Elizabeth's. He dreaded the conversation he planned to have with her the next day, but it was not something he could put off any longer. Truth be told, he should have talked with her long ago. He just hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. But they were courting now. He had every intention of asking her to marry him, but he couldn't do that with his secret hanging over them. She had every right to know and every right to choose to end their courtship, if she so chose. It would break his heart, but he would accept her decision.

Nathan saw light shining from the crack in Allie's bedroom door and he knew he'd been right that she was waiting up for him. She usually did on the nights he came back from an overnight assignment, and although he'd not been gone for the night as planned, he'd almost been gone in an entirely different way. They both needed the extra reassurance.

Allie was in bed, looking over a piece of paper that he assumed was a letter from his father. He was again hit with gratitude toward Elizabeth for helping the two to forge a bond, as well as repair their own father-son relationship.

"All ready for bed, Allie? Teeth brushed, face washed?" he asked.

His niece just rolled her eyes. It had been years since she'd gone through a phase of trying to get out of the nightly ablutions. "Yes, Uncle Nathan," she said, exasperated.

He smiled at her and sat on the edge of her bed as she placed her letter on her bedside table.

"Allie, Elizabeth told me what you've been worried about. I know the two of you talked, but is there anything I can do to help you?"

Allie's expression closed and Nathan almost sighed. After the openness of her emotions earlier in the day, he'd hoped she might continue the behavior, but he supposed they needed to walk before they could run, so to speak.

Allie's expression remained neutral, but when she began to speak, Nathan could detect the vulnerability in her voice, as it trembled just enough for him to hear. "Do you remember when we were at Fort Clay?"

Nathan's heart stuttered at the mention of the place he dreaded thinking of most, but only nodded. This was not the time for his own troubles, it was about Allie's.

"You know I've had a hard time making friends in new places. Well, Fort Clay was the last place I had a friend. Her name was Mary Harlow, she was only about a year older than me." Allie took a deep breath before she continued. "She was adopted. Her parents had died in a carriage accident when she was a baby so she didn't remember them. She had no other family, so she went to an orphanage. It was over-crowded and she said she didn't have much experience with being taken care of except for the bare minimum; going to school, clothes that didn't fit most of the time, and meals, of course, but there wasn't a lot of love."

Nathan felt horrible for the little girl and the life she led that Allie described. Unfortunately, it was too often children in orphanages did not receive the proper care and love because there were too many to look after. He was sure he remembered Mary Harlow. A young girl with black hair and green eyes came to mind, but he couldn't be certain without asking. He only encouraged Allie to not stop talking. He needed to know all of the details of how she felt so he could try to remedy the problem.

"Well, she was adopted when she was eight, about two years before we became friends."

"Were her adoptive parents abusive?" Nathan asked. It was years late, but he could do something about it if they were!

Allie's eyes widened. "No! Mary said they were wonderful. They pretty much spoiled her because they'd not been able to have their own children. That's why they finally decided to adopt."

"I don't understand," Nathan said.

"A miracle happened," she explained, but by her tone, he doubted very much what came next was a miracle, at least not for Mary. "Mrs. Harlow got pregnant. Since she was older, a doctor told them she needed to rest as much as possible, to be less active and Mr. Harlow fussed over her constantly. Mary didn't mind because she understood her new mom and sibling were at risk, and she didn't want anything to happen to either of them. Mrs. Harlow delivered a healthy baby girl and they shifted their entire focus to Marie."

Nathan frowned internally. It was odd that Mr. and Mrs. Harlow would name their new baby the French form of Mary. He wondered if Mary realized her parents had done this and what it could possibly mean. Had they intended to basically replace their adoptive daughter with their biological one in their version of names?

"Mary said they didn't pay as close attention to her anymore and she knew it because she'd felt the difference between growing up in the orphanage, and being with her parents before and after the baby was born was different. She said it wasn't as bad as it was before she was adopted but it was close. They didn't even celebrate the day they'd adopted her like they had the first two years." Allie closed her eyes. "I know that you love me, Uncle Nathan, but I'm not your daughter."

Nathan brushed a hand over Allie's cheek. "Allie, honey, that doesn't matter to me."

Allie still didn't open her eyes. He suspected it was to keep from crying. "I know. But my own dad didn't want me. Grandpa was in prison and Grandma was too old to raise me. You took me in so I wouldn't go to an orphanage. You didn't choose me."

His heart broke for his niece and he gathered her up in his arms. He'd had no idea she'd feared being left behind, or deemed as less important, and that it went this deep. Not for the first time, Nathan cursed his brother-in-law to the deepest pits of Hell in his mind. Allie finally broke, her tears soaking the shoulder of his shirt. He just let her cry, expressing her emotions as she needed.

When she settled, he leaned back so she could look into his eyes, so she could see his sincerity. "Allie, I didn't take you in just so you wouldn't go to an orphanage. I began looking into guardianship when we found out your mom was sick. Colleen and I wanted to make sure you were looked after if the worst should happen. Your dad wasn't always around, even before your mom got sick, and we knew it would only be a matter of time before he left for good, whether she died or not." Nathan hated telling Allie this about her dad, he didn't want to make her feel any less wanted, but she needed to hear the complete truth. Hopefully it would be enough to convince her that he did, in fact, choose her.

"You were?" she asked. Her tone was dubious.

"Yes. Please, don't ever think that I didn't want you. I would give anything for Colleen to be here in my place, for her to raise you, but she isn't, and I'm so sorry for that. But don't think for one second that I only took guardianship of you out of obligation. I could have a dozen daughters, and not a single one would ever take precedence over you, nor would one be named Alice or Alyssa, or any other form of Allison." Nathan's voice nearly cracked with his own emotion, and he didn't bother to try to hide it. He wanted Allie to hear the truth of his words.

Tears welled in her eyes again, but Allie blinked them back. "You promise you'll always want me, Uncle Nathan?"

"Always. I promise."

Another hug was exchanged, as well as Good nights, and Allie settled back into her pillows, looking more peaceful than Nathan could remember in a long time. A weight was lifted from his heart just as another, much heavier one, took its place.