When your soul finds the soul it was waiting for

When someone walks into your heart through an open door

When your hand finds the hand it was meant to hold

Don't let go

-Demi Lovato, "Heart By Heart"

Dear Charlotte,

I am so glad to hear that your back is on the mend. I am thankful Jack was such an excellent teacher that I have yet to be thrown from a horse. However, I am not sure how I would hold up against trying to tame one. I might not be so lucky then. (Elizabeth shook her head in fond amusement and mild exasperation at her mother-in-law's refusal to accept that she was aging and taming wild horses on her brother's ranch was a task best left to the younger hands.) Sergeant is doing well. I take him out for rides several times a week. I know he still misses Jack, but I try to make sure he's not lonely. Bill and I often take Little Jack to visit him, too. He may not be able to sit on Sergeant on his own yet, but they are already forming a strong bond.

I want to tell you that I have entered into a courtship. His name is Nathan Grant, and he is the Mountie who was assigned here last Spring. I hope this is not too much of a shock for you, and please know that I am not trying to replace your son with another Mountie. It was not my plan to fall in love again, and certainly not with a Mountie. I tried to deny my feelings for Nathan but I simply could not continue to do so. Nathan was also hesitant to let me know of his feelings, as he knew my history and respected that I was still a grieving widow when he arrived in Hope Valley.

Nathan is a good man, and he respects Jack's memory, Charlotte. He doesn't try to pretend that I did not love before him or try to relegate Jack to the past. He already loves Little Jack as his own, but still respects Jack as his father; and we will continue to tell Little Jack of his origins. Nathan also has guardianship of his soon-to-be twelve-year-old niece. Her name is Allie and she and Little Jack get on very well together. I hope one day you will see how sweet they are together.

We've had quite the week here in Hope Valley…

Elizabeth continued the letter to her mother-in-law with other news about herself, Little Jack, and Hope Valley that would interest the woman. She had felt it was best to get the subject of her courtship out of the way first before moving on to other topics. Charlotte would not appreciate it if she had left such important information for last. Elizabeth was appreciative of Charlotte's no-nonsense, blunt attitude, which was very similar to Bill's. She chuckled at the thought of how alike the two were.

She hoped that she was also gentle with her encouraging prodding for Charlotte to visit Hope Valley in the near future. Elizabeth knew that Charlotte was a free spirit and a woman who liked to go where she pleased when she pleased. She was also very aware that Hope Valley would have painful memories for her, but Elizabeth wanted her son to meet at least one of his grandparents. He was almost two-years-old and he had only laid eyes on his three living grandparents through photographs.

The hurt Elizabeth felt that her mother had gone to England to be with Viola, Sir Lionel, and their then-newborn daughter, yet couldn't bring herself to take a train, not a ship to another country, to meet her second grandchild was deep. She understood that her mother and Viola, for obvious reasons, couldn't be at the wedding, but there had been nothing stopping Aunt Agatha and her other family members from being present other than their unwillingness to travel to a frontier town. (*Dramatic gasp* Oh, the horror!) Hope Valley was a far cry from Hamilton, Elizabeth knew that, but Union City was close enough to Hope Valley that they could've stayed at the Union City Hotel if their delicate sensibilities couldn't abide the rooms above a saloon. She hadn't been aware of just how pretentious most of her family could be until she met the humble people of Coal Valley. It almost shamed her, but she knew the burden of shame was not hers.

Elizabeth supposed she could've gone to Hamilton over this past summer break, but keeping Little Jack cooped up on a train for days at a time did not sound appealing. And it had been important to her to continue helping Allie, and Nathan by extension, settle even further into Hope Valley since Nathan had chosen to stay. Elizabeth had also helped Rosemary quite a bit with the logistical aspects of Clara and Jesse's wedding in the months before the happy event. That would've been impossible with her in Hamilton, even with the convenience of being able to communicate instantly through telephones.

Maybe she should be very direct with Charlotte and her parents. Instead of phrasing an invitation that could easily be brushed off as a mere suggestion, she should make it clear that she wanted them to come to Hope Valley. That way they would have to actually say no if they absolutely didn't want to come. Knowing Charlotte, though, she might decline for some reason or another, and then show up anyway without any forewarning. Her parents, on the other hand, would be a yes or no, one or the other, simple as that. At least Elizabeth would have her answer that they didn't wish to be a part of their grandson's life in person if they declined.

She wasn't actually sure what her parents would decide, either, and that was disheartening and potentially heartbreaking. Jack had gained her father's blessing before they married, but she was sure, even though Jack had never gone into the details of his meeting with William Thatcher, that it had been given because of an ultimatum. Surely Grace would've accompanied her husband had she not been in London at the time. And her aunts, uncles, and cousins had engagements they couldn't break or weren't able to travel and arrange accommodations on such short notice. That's what Elizabeth told herself, at least. It's what she wanted to believe.

Elizabeth decided that she would call her parents soon to invite them to Hope Valley so they could meet Little Jack and Nathan and Allie. She didn't know how soon, but eventually Nathan and Allie would be family to them, after all. It would be nice if they didn't meet their prospective son-in-law the day before he became their son-in-law as well as meeting the children for the first time.

It was a bit of a sticky situation, to be sure, but Elizabeth hoped to introduce her son, the man she loved, and the girl who was already a daughter to her to her own parents. She prayed that they would accept her invitation. She was sure Allie and Julie would get along very well with their common interest in and appreciation of art. The two had barely interacted when Julie visited for Jack's Christening and the Founders' Day Festival the year before. There was no doubt that her parents would be charmed by Allie, too.

The door opening and excited chatter and laughter filled the house, breaking Elizabeth from her thoughts. Laura and Allie came inside from the cold with Jack in tow, their cheeks red and smiling.

"How about some hot chocolate to help you three warm up?" she asked. Already knowing the answer, she began to prepare the drink, not needing the enthusiastic "Yes" from all three children.

"May we have some cookies, too, Elizabeth?" Allie asked.

Elizabeth gave her consent and Allie grabbed the cookie tin while Laura and Jack set the table for their snack.

Laura and Allie had struck up a quick friendship since Nathan and Elizabeth began courting. They saw each almost daily now that Allie ended up at Elizabeth's house after school. She liked to play with Jack after finishing any homework. Allie had also shyly admitted that she liked being in the company of others when she would usually be home alone until Nathan was finished for the day. Laura was even staying up to an extra half hour some days so they could draw together or Allie would help Laura with any math work she might be having trouble with.

There had been no homework to be done and drawing had been substituted with taking Jack outside to play for the afternoon. It would be too cold soon, so they were trying to be out as much as possible in the late October weather. It was hard for Elizabeth to believe it was almost November, and soon her baby would be two!

Sometimes it felt like just yesterday that Elizabeth was jolted out of a restless sleep in the back of a wagon, arriving in Coal Valley with nothing but the clothes on her back. And then there was Florence telling her to go straight back to Hamilton, that they didn't need a "Princess" teaching their children after the mine disaster. Elizabeth had felt like crying, even after Cat and Abigail came to her defense against Florence's harsh words. She had been so grateful when Abigail persuaded them to give her a chance. It was understandable Florence was wary of her, though. And she only wanted the best for her children. Elizabeth would probably feel the same if she had been in her shoes. And Abigail, bless her, had been her biggest supporter.

Elizabeth missed Abigail so much. They kept in regular contact through letters, but it just wasn't the same. She had a sneaking suspicion that she would've been able to work through her feelings and fears about Nathan much sooner than she did if Abigail had still been in Hope Valley. Rosemary and Bill had been there for her and helped her, but Abigail had a way of pushing her, gently of course, to face the truth sooner rather than later, even if Elizabeth wasn't exactly ready to face it. She had left quite a bit out of her letters, too, unsure how to articulate her problems through the written word. Abigail wouldn't have minded taking her to task on pen and paper, though. She laughed at the thought.

Everything was different now, though. Elizabeth had so much to tell Abigail, and was actually excited to share the wonderful news. Her friend would no doubt be miffed at her for purposefully omitting the struggles she faced concerning her feelings for Nathan. After admonishing Elizabeth, Abigail would then give her hearty congratulations, followed by requesting all of the details that Elizabeth had kept to herself. Maybe it was better to have that conversation over the telephone. Abigail now had regular access to one and Rosemary would happily let Elizabeth use her and Lee's. There was so much for Elizabeth to catch Abigail up on.

When Elizabeth went to bed that night, it was with a heart full of happiness. Laura had stayed for dinner and helped Allie make everything since she had stubbornly insisted on cooking to give Elizabeth and Nathan 'a break'. Elizabeth had bitten the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at Allie's tenacity. Her insistence that they spend their time not cooking allowed Nathan and Little Jack to play while Elizabeth wrote in her journal, as Jack had insisted that 'Nay'en' was the only one invited to join his playtime that evening.

It had been such a wonderful night, and Elizabeth looked forward to when Nathan and Allie wouldn't have to leave at the end of the day. It couldn't come soon enough!

Nathan sat at his desk in the empty and blissfully quiet Mountie office. Constable Howard had left on the last train departing Hope Valley the evening before after receiving his next assignment. Mountie Headquarters had sent an escort party quadruple the standard size that morning to take the O'Rourke siblings to prison. They had left after Bill supplied them with non-perishable food items for the next several days. Elias and Jenny were being taken to the Kingston Penitentiary in Kingston, Ontario. There would be several changes in their guards and a combination of traveling by wagon and train, as it would take a few weeks to reach their destination. It was a journey Nathan did not envy his fellow Mounties, and was very, very grateful Mountie Headquarters had not assigned him to the detail. The main reason is that he didn't want to be away from his family for that long.

He was taking a break from the never-ending paperwork that had accumulated over the last couple weeks to eat the lunch Elizabeth had surprised him with that morning. Elizabeth had offered him a paper bag after he'd arrived at her door to walk her to school, her smile sweet and a little shy as she said she'd made lunch for him. She intimated that it was nothing fancy-just a sandwich and an assortment of sliced fruits and vegetables. It was the first time she had prepared lunch for him to take to work, and Nathan felt it was another thing that would become a routine for them. He smiled at the thought.

It felt like it was a good time to dedicate the attention needed for another matter that was very important to the two of them: the property Elizabeth had offered to possibly build their home on. Nathan had mixed feelings on the subject. A small part of him wanted to thank her for the offer, but decline all the same. It wasn't because he felt overshadowed by Jack's memory, though, like Elizabeth feared. He almost felt like it might be another betrayal to Jack if he accepted. Nathan had filled Jack's position of Hope Valley's Mountie, he was now courting and planned to marry his widow, and be a father-figure to his son… Was building his home and life with Elizabeth on the land Jack had purchased taking it too far? Was there not something of Jack's life in Hope Valley that Nathan should leave untouched?

They were questions Nathan honestly didn't know how to answer, so, in turn, that left him with no answer for Elizabeth yet. He sighed. He would need to come to a decision soon. The box containing a certain ring hidden in his room was never far from his mind. Scenario after scenario constantly played throughout his mind of how he would ask Elizabeth to marry him, but none of them had particularly stood out to him. There was also another problem: he had absolutely no clue what to say. He knew he wanted to say more than just "Will you marry me?" but the words had not come to him, as usual, just yet.

All he knew in that moment was that his soul had found the soul it had been waiting for. His heart had been closed to love for so long because it had been the last thing he was concerned about. But Elizabeth had blown that door wide open as easily as she had walked through the door of the jail that first time. Her hand was the hand he was meant to hold, and he had no intention of letting go. Ever. She was his and he was hers-forever.

He hoped the right words would come to him soon.

Nathan was saddling Newton for his afternoon rounds when Bill strode into the livery and began doing the same with Odysseus. They didn't speak beyond exchanging greetings. Nathan wondered where Bill needed to go. He wasn't aware that Bill had been assigned a new case yet, especially one out of town. It was apparently a recent development. For some reason, Nathan had the urge to ask Bill to not go wherever the trial needed to be held. He just felt it was better if he didn't venture out of town for a while.

They exchanged small talk as they began to ride out of Hope Valley, but Nathan was confused when Bill continued on with him instead of riding off. It wasn't until Bill explained that he was just out for a ride that Nathan realized what was happening. Bill had come upon him yesterday during his morning rounds, claiming he was "just out for a ride" then too. The commonality being that his supposedly random rides were both the exact times Nathan was usually out for rounds. He might've laughed if it weren't for two reasons: One-he was sure it would embarrass and irritate Bill if he mentioned it, and two-Bill felt the same anxiety he did and Nathan found that touching. Their shared trauma clearly had a far-reaching and lasting effect.

"Well, Mrs. McCormack is still a joy to visit," Nathan said dryly some time later as they left the older woman's cabin.

Bill chuckled. "Actually, that's quite cheerful compared to how she was a few years ago."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. It took a few tries, but Carson was the one to finally break through her crusty exterior. She even baked gingerbread cookies and handed them out to the children just before the Christmas Eve Parade a few years ago."

"Wow," Nathan said in reply. Talk about Christmas miracles, he thought. Apparently Carson hadn't been able to break through Bill's crusty shell yet. He smirked inwardly at the thought.

Nathan let a few more minutes pass before he broke the silence. "Tell me, Bill, are you going to be going for a ride every day during my morning or afternoon rounds from now on?" He smiled so Bill would know that he didn't really mind his company, and he was only teasing him a little, which earned him a slightly irritated huff from the man.

"I know you don't need a babysitter, Nathan. There are a lot of things I could do with my time, but I'd rather sacrifice the time to have the peace of mind of going on your rounds with you brings me. And annoying you by tagging along is just a bonus," Bill replied with a smirk.

Nathan laughed. Outside of checking on the outlying residents, he appreciated the calm quiet he experienced during his rounds, but he didn't mind the interruption to his usual routine at this time. He found just as much reassurance in the company as Bill did.

"I'm not annoyed yet, Bill. Give it another week and I'll re-evaluate my feelings on the matter."

Bill's deep belly laugh had Nathan joining him in the mirthful moment.

They continued on like that, trading less and less subtle jibes with each other until they were on their way back into town.

Bill's heavy sigh made Nathan glance over at him. The serious expression he saw sobered him immediately. He was almost afraid to ask what was wrong so suddenly. Bill beat him to it, though.

"I can tell something's on your mind, Nathan, and it's weighing on you. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

It was a bit difficult to swallow around the lump in his throat at Bill's concerned and reassuring words. Considering how close he and Jack had been, maybe Bill was just the person Nathan needed to help him work through his feelings on Elizabeth's offer.

Well, here goes, he thought. "I'm assuming you know Jack had bought a plot of land not too far out of town?"

Bill nodded. "In the direction of Jameson. Along with Carson and Jesse, I helped Lee take the lumber back to the mill after…" Bill cleared his throat and shifted in the saddle. "After Elizabeth went to Hamilton," he finished quietly.

Nathan felt a burning sensation around his eyes and inside his nose. He couldn't imagine how heartbreakingly difficult that had to have been for the men involved, especially Bill and Lee. By all accounts, they had been as close as father and son and brothers, respectively.

Nathan shifted atop Newton. "Elizabeth took the children and I out there Sunday afternoon. She's giving me the choice to either build a house there, or to sell the land and build somewhere else."

"What is it that has you so conflicted?" Bill asked, correctly guessing that Nathan was struggling with a decision on the matter.

"I feel-I just feel like I'm taking one more thing away from Jack." Nathan closed his eyes so he wouldn't see Bill's expression after his confession. He didn't want to see if Bill was in agreement with his assessment of the situation or not.

He finally opened his eyes at the prolonged silence, looking warily at the man riding alongside him.

Bill looked at him, his lips pursed and his expression one of deep contemplation. "Nathan, I won't deny that you and Jack have a lot of things in common. You both believe in protecting the innocent and bringing wrong-doers to justice. You both value honesty and helping others. And you both fell so thoroughly in love with Elizabeth that it irrevocably changed your lives." Bill's tone had turned soft and affectionate. "But you're also very different. I don't see how you would be taking something from Jack if you build a house on the land he'd bought."

"But-"

"Nathan," Bill said sternly, cutting him off. "Did you choose Jack Thornton to be your replacement on that training mission? Yes, you asked to be transferred to Hope Valley, but was it your plan to fall in love with Jack's widow? Did you know you wanted to court Elizabeth before you even set one foot in Hope Valley? Did you think you should insert yourself into Jack's son's life as a substitute father since you felt it was your fault Little Jack no longer had a father? Do you plan to act as if you're the only father to Little Jack who should be acknowledged since you're the one alive and in his life?"

"No!" Nathan said, his tone nearly a shout. "No," he said, after taking a calming breath. "The answer to all of those questions is no."

Bill nodded, his expression one that said he didn't expect any other answer. "And you didn't ask to build on the property, Elizabeth offered it. You're not taking anything from Jack, Nathan. I've paid attention these last two years. You've always respected Jack's memory. That didn't change after you fell in love with her. If anything, you retreated further away from Elizabeth because of your feelings. And now that you're courting Elizabeth, you're very circumspect in your conduct concerning Jack's memory. I have no doubt that won't change after you two are married."

"It won't," Nathan affirmed.

"Whether you build a house there or somewhere else, it doesn't matter. You'll be doing what Jack isn't able to anymore: giving Elizabeth a home and a life full of the love and care that she deserves, that you both deserve. Little Jack and Allie too. Elizabeth confided in me that she feels in her heart Jack would approve of you, and I agree with her, Nathan. And I think building a house on the property would be honoring Jack's memory, not taking something away."

Nathan felt his chest swell at the emotions Bill's words filled him with. There was no greater compliment he could receive from Elizabeth and Bill, and Jack, if that's what they believed he would feel about him.

Nathan was nearly speechless. "I-I don't know what to say, Bill."

Bill's smile reassured him that he really didn't need to say anything. The weight of the decision that he'd felt on his shoulders since Elizabeth's offer lifted, and he had his answer for her.

"Thank you, Bill," Nathan said with a grateful smile.

And with a nod from Bill, the conversation was over. The afternoon rounds were finished with good company and good conversation.

What could be better?

Notes:

I'm back!!! I hope everyone had a good Easter weekend! My family is still taking precautions against Covid, so it was a quiet holiday for me. I definitely missed my big, loud family dinners on both sides of my family! Hopefully we can safely gather again soon.

Spring is definitely here! But the weather doesn't seem to know that yet. My sinuses would definitely appreciate it if Mother Nature would pick a season and stick with it! We had snow yesterday morning and it's supposed to be 70 degrees the next two days. I've had to break out the extra doses of Xyzal already because of the fluctuating temperatures. I'm crossing my fingers that the weather will be a little more reasonable soon!

The O'Rourke siblings would be taken to the Kingston Penitentiary in Ontario because it was one of the few prisons in Canada that housed men and women in 1917. I'm not 100% certain it would take a few weeks to get there from Hope Valley (which has been indicated to be near Robb, Alberta), but we'll just assume that there wouldn't be a straight shot by train between the two locations and the two modes of travel would be necessary and time consuming.

I've been rewatching earlier seasons and I don't think Bill has ever referred to his horse by a name, so I've decided to call him Odysseus from Greek mythology. If he has, we'll just chalk it up to creative license. :)

Odysseus (English Ulysses) is the hero of Homer's epic poem the Odyssey and one of the most frequently portrayed figures in Western literature. Homer portrayed Odysseus as a man of outstanding wisdom and shrewdness, eloquence, resourcefulness, courage, and endurance. In the Iliad, Odysseus appears as the man best suited to cope with crises in personal relations among the Greeks, and he plays a leading part in achieving the reconciliation between Agamemnon and Achilles. Odysseus' bravery and skill in fighting are demonstrated repeatedly, and his wiliness is shown most notably in the night expedition he undertakes with Diomedes against the Trojans.

I think Bill would identify with many of Odysseus' traits and would name his horse after the fictional figure to always have that reminder to be brave and fair, etc. All traits needed to be a good man and officer of the law. What do you think?

I'll warn from here on out that there won't be a set schedule to post new chapters, so patience is the name of the game now. :)