Kommandant Wilhelm Klink was waiting for his crush Lottie, who he loved. Truly, he did not love Gertrude Linkmyer, who General Burkhalter wanted Klink to marry. But that was not what Wilhelm Klink wanted. He wanted another wife. He had lost his first one when he was 23. He truly did miss Anna, who he met in 1916, and married a couple of weeks later.
"Oh Anna…I miss you…." He said out loud. This confused Colonel Robert E. Hogan, who was in the room with him. Hogan pondered who Klink was talking about. Klink was flashing back to when he was at her grave, crying.
Colonel Hogan could understand why Klink didn't want to marry again, knowing the pain he had been through. Hogan had a crush on a girl, but she moved before he graduated high school and before she graduated. Hogan cried for months just thinking about that girl, until she visited him one day and comforted him. She, by then, was dating someone.
Colonel Klink was the son of a General, named Friedrich Klink. His mother was Anneliese (nee Brandt) Klink. The patriarch of the family, Klink's Great-Great-Great grandfather Otto Klink, fought with the British against Emperor Napoléon I of France, in the Napoleonic Wars, and died of his injuries, shortly after the Battle of Waterloo, in 1815, by then he had a family, which would continue for decades, with him guiding them in spirit.
October 7, 1917, Berlin, Germany
"Anna…Anna! Why did it have to happen?! Who was the…m-monster that killed you?! He was crying really hard. September 16, 1917, was the day his first wife, Anna Brandt, had been found bludgeoned to death by a few of his in-law relatives. Another person was there at the cemetery, on that very day in October. He understood what Klnk was going through. He felt sad himself, because he could feel that his fall from power was coming. He went over Klink and comforted him.
"Are you okay, Colonel?" He asked the young Wilhelm Klink, who simply replied, "No..not at all. One month it has been since my wife was murdered." Wilhelm Klink would get off the ground, still looking down. "Don't worry lad, you'll find love again. Anna would want you to." He'd tell him, letting Klink hug and cry into his arms.
"You really think so?" Wilhelm Klink said, looking up. His jaw dropped, which he immediately shut. He was shocked. "Y-your majesty.." He'd stutter. "You have family buried here too, in the cemetery?" Klink has just encountered Kaiser Wilhelm II himself. "Of course. It's been our main cemetery for decades. I'm also sad, but it's for another reason." Kaiser Wilhelm II would say to Klink, who raised an eyebrow. "What's your story?" Klink would ask.
"My fall of power is inevitable, uh..what's your name.." Klink replied to him. "Wilhelm Klink, sir." He'd reply to the Kaiser. "I have had..a terrible vision. My fall of power is coming within a year, although I don't know when. Ugh..it is terrible. This war should have never happened. The moment Germany entered the war, after it started when Ferdinand was assassinated, the monarchy was doomed."
"That's a shame to hear." Klink said back to him. "I know it is, but..these things inevitably happen, just like Rome inevitably fell in 1453." The old Kaiser simply said to Klink. Klink was coming back to reality now. "Klink...Klink...Klink..are you okay? KLINK!" Hogan yelled to get Klink out of his flashback, as much as he did not want to do that.
Finally, Klink would come back to reality, in the present day. "Who's Anna, sir?" Colonel Hogan asked. "It's a long story, Hogan. Maybe I'll tell you about her another time." A few minutes would pass, when knocking is heard at the door.
"Come in, my darling, come in…" Colonel Klink started saying, expecting it to be Lottie. However, that was not the case: It was Gertrude Linkmyer. "Mrs. Linkmyer!" Klink said, shocked that Lottie wasn't there. An outrage, Klink thought to himself. He doesn't want to marry her, but rather Lottie. Klink thought to himself in his head. Oh no...not Gertrude...
"Come, come, Wilhelm. You must call me Gertrude." Gertrude Linkmyer said to Colonel Klink, feeling happy. She was expecting when Klink would ask for her hand in marriage. Of course, Gertrude was really getting her hopes up. Wilhelm Klink does not want to be married to someone, who, in his own words, "looked like General Burkhalter".
"I must?" Klink questioned why he must call her Gertrude. "Of course. A husband and wife can't be so formal. Even though you have not asked me the question that is trembling on your lips." She quickly responded, nodding. Klink wasn't going to ask her, however. He wasn't getting the opportunity to tell her he wasn't going to marry her, too, either.
"Husband? Wife?" Klink is getting more desperate by the minute. Even if he is promoted to General for marrying her, he doesn't want such a Hellish marriage. "I must say, I was very angry at first, when the General told me about his matchmaking, but once I got to know you, Wilhelm…" Klink wanted to get out of this, and he'd look over at Hogan.
"Hogan?" He said to the American Colonel. "I'm helping Schultz chill the champagne." He quickly replied. "Me, too." Klink added. Wilhelm Klink always loves women, especially his first wife, Anna Brandt, who was murdered by an unknown assailant in 1917, a year before the end of the First World War.
"What a lovely place you have here, Wilhelm. I think I will make only a few changes. The drapes will go first, and then-then we could get new furniture. Oh, just think, Wilhelm...Our own little love nest." Klink was now extremely horrified. He did not want to have a wife that would screw up his mess hall. The only Burkhalter he wanted was Lottie, who he had a very, very, very big crush on.
"Oh, I know you two want to be alone. Come on, fellows." Klink stopped him. "HOGAN!" Klink bellowed out, knowing that Hogan got him in this mess. "Schultz, set another place." Hogan told the Sergeant, sitting back down at the table with Klink and Gertrude. "Hogan...you got me into this mess..now you're gonna get me out of it."
"You would have liked my husband Otto very much. Mind you, not that he didn't have some very bad habits, but I shouldn't say anything against him. He was lost in the Russian Front, you know. Maybe you knew him. Was he the one they called Lucky Otto? I don't remember anyone ever calling him that." Linkmyer said to Colonel Klink. Of course, Klink did not know Otto Linkmyer, or anyone that had anything to do with him.
Klink was getting extremely desperate now. He is on the verge of screaming out at her, telling her that he doesn't want to marry her, which would likely cause Burkhalter to send him to the Russian Front, as Burkhalter would be left steaming mad finding out about Klink not wanting to marry his sister.
"Maybe it was some other Lucky Otto. Wilhelm, what do you think of a spring wedding?" She asked him. "Not much." Klink quickly replied.
"Gertrude Linkmyer." Klink started off, stating boldly, loudly, and bluntly, before Hogan could speak up, "I'm going to quite simply tell you the truth. I am not in love with you, but…your daughter Lottie. I know…this comes as a shock, but..you didn't let me explain. Lottie looks more beautiful, let's just put it that way. I'm sorry Gertrude, but..look, even if I can't get Lottie, I have no intention to marry anyway. I had a wife before, and I lost her due to some...monsters."
Gertrude was taken aback at this, in a lot of shock. Klink had just broken her heart. She began sobbing and angrily yelling in front of Klink, Hogan, and Schultz. "THIS DID NOT GO AS EXPECTED! OH, I SWEAR, I'LL HAVE BURKHALTER SEND YOU TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT! KOMMANDANTS LIKE YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO MARRY ME SHOULD BE REMOVED." This shocked Klink, Hogan, and Schultz.
Suddenly, Gertrude decked Klink, knocking him to the floor, and began trying to strangle him, intending to kill him. "FRAULEIN HELGA! HELP ME! HELP!" Helga, who was about to leave to go home, ran towards the mess hall, and saw what was happening. Helga ripped Gertrude from Klink, and with the help of Schultz, began taking Gertrude out of the mess hall.
"Look Gertrude.." Klink started saying to her as she was lead out by Schultz and Helga. "Lottie reminds me a lot of my late first wife, Anna Brandt…Lottie looks like a Goddess to me…I truly love her, Gertrude. I want to marry her. Burkhalter ought to know..that Lottie..not you..was the one I wanted to marry. I love her with all of my heart." Gertrude looked up at Klink and simply nodded, by this point, she stopped sobbing.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Colonel. And...I'm sorry for assaulting you. It caused me to snap when you admitted to me that you loved Lottie, and not me, Gertrude. I'll see what I can do. I'm going to have to explain it to her. She responded to him, softly. Then she left the building to go see her brother. She was also angry inside. This had not gone to plan like Burkhalter wanted it to. Hogan turned to Klink, quite shocked.
"You handled her well, Kommandant. Now she knows who you're going for." Hogan said to him, somewhat smirking. "Yes, Colonel Hogan. She does." Hogan then saluted Klink and headed back to the barracks. "Good day, Kommandant. Good luck." Hogan replied. "Thank you, Colonel Hogan." He'd reply back. Once Hogan went back into Barracks 2, he was being bombarded with questions by his fellow comrades.
"One at a time, please and thank you." He said to them. Immediately, Corporal LeBeau would move to ask him first, followed by Newkirk, and several other prisoners that were helping Hogan."So, mon colonel, did it work? What's happening with Klink?" LeBeau asked Hogan. "Yep, it worked big time. In fact, Klink told Gertrude that he loves Lottie, and not her, and that Lottie reminds him of his first wife." This surprised LeBeau. "Woaahh..."
"Blimey. Who would even marry him in the first place?" Newkirk remarked. "Yeah, you see, before that air raid warden came along, with me and Mary…" Carter started speaking about his former girlfriend, before Carter was interrupted by Corporal Newkirk. "Save it, Andrew. We don't need to hear you complain about Mary Jane." Newkirk responded, to which Carter put Newkirk's hat over his eyes in anger. "Ugh..." Carter grumbled to himself. Newkirk sighed and fixed his hat.
"Kinch, Newkirk, we should try it and get Captain Ferguson out of the tunnel and towards England, while Klink is in his quarters." Hogan told them. "Radio the sub to let them know Ferguson is on the way, and then get him out of the tunnel.." The Colonel stated bluntly.
"Yes, Colonel." Kinchloe replied back. Meanwhile, Gertrude has arrived at the VIP quarters, where General Burkhalter was at the moment. She would enter into the quarters, where Lottie and Burkhalter were waiting to hear the news. "Hey Gertrude! How did it go?" Burkhalter expected a positive response, of which would not come into play.
Gertrude, knowing the answer, she'd sigh. "Well, I don't know how to put it this way to you, brother…" Alfred Burkhalter responded to her. "Yes….Yes?" It would be very quiet for a few minutes between them. "Well, mother, what is it?" Lottie asked Gertrude. Finally, 7 minutes later, she'd reply, still a bit angry and frustrated from earlier. "Well...let me put it this way..to you two..."
"Colonel Klink..does not love me, Burkhalter..but…he loves my daughter…Lottie..and wants to marry her. That's who the letter…from him..was actually for." Gertrude simply said, relaxed and sad and happy. Burkhalter and Lottie were shocked at this, processing the information, until finally, both of them reacted to it. Burkhalter and Lottie both turned red really quick.
Both Lottie and General Burkhalter bellowed out. "WHAT?!" Lottie hurried past the two, out of the door, towards Klink's mess hall. She wanted to go confront the Kommandant about this, while Burkhalter followed several minutes later. Klink had a LOT of explaining to do to Lottie. "THIS CANNOT BE! How COULD he not want to marry you?! You have beauty! Why wouldn't-" Gertrude would cut her brother off.
"Look, brother. Klink is..interested in women younger than me. He might be..middle aged, but he still has, in his own mind, good taste." Are you going to go see him in a couple of minutes?" Burkhalter nodded to her. "Yes, Gertrude." Meanwhile, Lottie was now a few feet away from the mess hall's door, and then walked towards it, moving to open it.