It's almost hard for Cloud to believe that he has Zack's cock smeared all over his face 2 weeks ago.
Because right now… since the following days after the exhibition, he has been avoiding the man like he's a germ. Like a virus he's too afraid to get infected with, lest he lose his mind again just by being near the man.
Zack's text messages. Zack's calls. He ignored them all.
In the studio and wherever work demands them to be, he keeps their interactions strictly professional.
No more private conversations. No more private lessons. No more bantering and laughing 'til they're losing their breaths over inside jokes. No more staying over at each other's places for games and movie nights.
No more kisses. No more sex.
Tifa has also started getting suspicious, all no thanks to one bitchy bitch who's clearly trying to mess around with his girlfriend. This makes it all the more important for him to give up the thing that he has – or rather, had – with Zack.
Besides, who is he to Zack? Just an assistant? Close friend? Fuck buddy? A mix of those three?
He hates the ambiguity, especially when it feels like he's the only one who wants something more out of the relationship.
It hasn't been easy though.
He's still coming home late, not only to avoid making his past actions seem suspicious to Tifa but also to avoid feeling like he could die from the absence of Zack in his life.
He hasn't been able to completely remove Zack from his social circle either.
He still attends after work and off day social gatherings organized by the man, only if he's sure that there are other colleagues who're coming with him.
That's why he's hanging out at Johnny's Heaven on a drizzling Saturday evening, even if he doesn't really like this place that much.
He's sitting at a table full of guys from work and other guys who're friends with Zack. Zack sits several seats away, a new seating arrangement the man starts adopting since they hardly talk with each other.
He's listening to some guy talk about a comedy skit and laughs along with everyone else when a supposedly funny joke is mentioned.
Boring, superficial talk. It's all a show. But he doesn't care. He's there to prove that he does have people he's friends with who's not Zack.
That Zack isn't as special as the man probably thinks he is.
At times, his eyes would wander to the bar counter and find Tifa sitting there, obviously upset that she's not relaxing at home.
He feels sorry for her. But at the same time, she has to be here.
She has to be there to remind everyone – particularly that man – that he does have a girlfriend and he cares about her enough to bring her with him to an evening that's supposed to be a guys' night out.
His table's now making commentaries about the quality of current comedy skits but he's hardly listening. He doesn't know what qualifies as a 'good' or 'bad' comedy and he doesn't want to find out.
"That joke on stereotypes about people in Midgar is too overdone. You go to every single comedy show in the city and you'll get a comedian or two performing that shit," he hears Zack remark before the man turns to him with a smile and asks, "Right, Cloud?"
Everyone's looking at him, expecting a reply.
He doesn't and offers only a tight smile.
He leaves the question hanging in the air like a fly waiting to be swatted.
Zack's face sours and he turns away to chug down his bottle of Corneo beer.
The mood at the table declines but only for a short while. Others are just not interested in prolonging the awkwardness.
Conversations continue without Cloud being fully present.
A few minutes go by and he vaguely hears Kunsel, the makeup artist with blue highlights on his hair say, "Oh yeah! There's a new place just several blocks from here. I think it's called Cid's Pizzeria. We should really try it."
He doesn't understand how or why they started talking about food.
When Kunsel turns to him, he feels uneasy.
"If you're available next week, we can go together, Cloud!"
"No, that's not possible," protests a guy who works at the marketing department. "He's probably 'booked' by the boss."
"Are you?" Kunsel asks, his lips downturned with disappointment.
"I'm not."
"See? He's not. Aerith's keeping the boss busy."
Kunsel's teasing and everyone's giggling, except the man who's the subject of the tease.
Zack's looking at them as if he's about to smash his bottle against their heads.
"No one's keeping me busy. Cloud's just being a bitch to me."
He almost lands a fist against the man's face.
The fucking audacity.
"What the FUCK are you doing over there?"
Zack's sudden outburst drums his chest with shock and he turns to see what sets the man off.
At the bar counter, he sees the bitchy bitch sitting next to Tifa and some guy he doesn't recognize. A typical scenario in bars, pubs and wherever else that involves alcohol.
Zack gets up from the table and heads towards the bar counter.
Cloud can't really process what's going on after that. He only hears Zack yelling and sees the man's face inflaming with the kind of rage that he knows would only happen if the man's on his way to losing control of his rationality.
And then Cloud hears it.
The worst of worst things that ever came out of Zack's mouth.
"You like that, don't you? All that attention? Because you're a whore. Just like that whore of a mother of yours."
It makes him wince.
He doesn't like the bitchy bitch. In fact, he hates her. But he's not going to pretend like those words don't hurt. No one should be saying them so thoughtlessly to anyone.
And why do those words feel like a personal insult that's meant for him?
A fight broke out between Zack and his long-time friend, Tseng.
Cloud's at the police station, helping with the whole process of filing a police report.
This isn't his first time doing it.
Zack's no stranger to physical and verbal quarrels. He starts them when their client has a difficult behaviour, when someone on the streets pisses him off, and when he's too drunk to let someone continue being an ass.
If Zack's lucky, he would be scot-free. If the man's unlucky like he is now because Johnny decides to press charges for the damages to the bar, then Cloud would often come to help smoothen the filing process.
"I'll leave him to you, Cloud," Tseng tells him, placing one hand on his shoulder.
Usually, Tseng would stick around to patch up Zack's wounds and bruises, or talk with the man about what's bothering him to a point that he's driven to hit someone.
But what happened tonight proves to be too much, even for Tseng.
Cloud goes to the waiting area and finds Zack leaning forward as he's sitting with his hands held together and his head turned down.
"It's time for us to leave," he says, hoping that Zack would hear him.
Zack sighs, and he waits for the man to walk out first.
Outside, he trails behind Zack as they make their way to their respective homes.
They don't speak to each other at all and he has to stare at Zack's back the entire time they're walking.
It makes his insides itch.
So itchy for an explanation or anything for him to understand what happened at the bar.
He breaks the silence.
"What was that all about?"
Zack says nothing in return, so he presses on, "What you said… that wasn't okay. And I don't get how you can say something like that to someone you care about."
Zack stops walking, and then he turns, reaching for Cloud's hand. Once he grabs one, he tugs it and leads them both to an alley in between two buildings housing a furniture store and a home decoration store.
Trapped in the alley, Zack pushes him against the wall.
"What are you-"
His sentence goes unfinished as Zack kisses him.
Deep desperate kisses that tell him all that he needs to know about how Zack's really doing without him.
He tries to break away but the force of his attraction to this man is too much that he finds himself pulling the man closer instead.
His hands are clawing the fabric around Zack's shoulders as if he doesn't want to let go.
Zack soon moves his lips away, only to rain more kisses along the area around Cloud's eyes and his side cheeks.
"Zack… we can't…"
The other man finally draws away but not without giving him one final kiss on the forehead.
"I'm going to make a call," Cloud says.
"Can I stay with you tonight?" Zack asks, propping his chin against Cloud's head.
"…I'm sorry but we can't."
He wants to. He wishes that they can. But they just can't, especially not tonight.
Zack offers no words in return.
Cloud takes out his phone and dials Tifa's number.
"Hey. You're still at Aerith's?"
Tifa's voice echoes from the other side of the line.
Meanwhile he's trying his best to stay afloat and not drown in his emotions and the feel of Zack on him.