This was a difficult chapter. I hope you all will enjoy it and review for me, your feedback keeps the wheels in my head turning! I was torn about the song that would be the theme of this chapter. I really wanted to do Landslide by Fleetwood Mac but went with my original choice. Do you think I was right?

You and I by Lady Gaga

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You taste like whiskey when you kiss me, oh

I'd give anything again to be your baby doll

This time I'm not leaving without you

I rubbed at my eyes as I curled up in lounge looking out the giant window that showed the vastness of space. I bit my lip as I looked away, that window had seen many times that I had been pressed against it praising the name of the one I was currently avoiding.

Not wanting to think about that I instead pondered what he had said, so intently and so furiously annoying, about what I wanted. A whim. Bullshit. I rubbed at my lower lip the burn of flesh reminding of my own frail humanity.

Humanity.

That was rich. I was raised in their culture, Brightfoot had even treated me as she would one of her daughters. A second class daughter, my mind sniggered and I groaned.

Why was what I wanted so difficult?

My eyes fell to the darkness outside the ship and I pulled my knees to my chest resting my chin on them. Perhaps he was right. I knew the procedure was dangerous, Brightfoot had explained it to me when I was young about how humans and Yautja mated, how it was considered in bad taste and was very dangerous for the female.

Maybe because they introduced genetic engineering that would rewrite my genetic structure to allow my eggs to accept a males sperm. Maybe it was because the procedure wasn't allowed in some clans and he would have to present his case to the clan leader to be allowed.

Maybe he didn't care enough to do that for me…or maybe he didn't want me to be seized should he fail in presenting his case. A tremble went down my spine at the thought of being taken from Xian and likely culled to preserve the integrity of the clan.

I touched the fabric of the couch I was on and that idea was enough to make me regret voicing my wants to Xian. Almost.

There was a gap between us and I had always attributed it to age and species, he was almost four hundred years older than me. He had had his fair share of lovers and losses no doubt while the only male I had ever known was him.

Lies were not becoming of a yautja and I knew that he was, from what I had seen, a terrible liar when it came to hiding things from me. Liars were badbloods and Xian was not a badblood, he followed the Code of Honor and he treated me well.

I dug my nails into the fabric of the couch as I remembered my final words to him. Was I really just his whore? Was I really nothing more than a fetish?

No.

Clenching my eyes shut I shook my head as I stretched my legs out, my toes touching the floor as I stood up and my joints ached for sitting in that cramped position.

Fuck what anyone else thought.

Fuck the clan integrity.

I was going to be strong and pursue what I wanted.

Walking out of the lounge I made my way to the training room, I could hear him taking his frustrations out on the holograms of hard meats and of his own kind. I peeked into the doorway and his body was slick with sweat as he exerted himself. Something about that made my loins clench and my heart race. No, it wasn't that vision that made my heart race. It was something else, something that I treasured and held tight to my chest as he paused and slowly turned to look at me.

Something about you and I.