"What time is it?" There was a pause, and someone patted Harley in the face again. "Hey, what time is it?" Barbara groaned. She finally sat up; she'd been laying on Harley's stomach, her purse over her eyes to avoid the sunlight making her head pound. "Guys?" She rubbed her eyes and yawned.
"Shh." Harley reached up and smacked her face.
"Five more minutes," Steph grumbled from the couch.
"I dunno if we have five minutes— where's my phone—"
"—isn't something important happening today…?" Selina muttered, running a hand through her hair.
"Oh God—" Barbara choked.
"Yeah," Steph sighed. "Harley's getting hitched."
"What?!" Harley sat up, nearly knocking heads with Barbara. "What time is it?!"
"It's ten AM girls, we've gotta hustle," Selina stumbled to the windows, pulling the curtains open. Barbara shrieked at the top of her lungs, and Steph cried out.
"Babs!" she shouted angrily, holding her head.
"Oh come on, it's not that bad—" Selina turned around, and she screamed, too. Barbara and Selina stared at Harley as everyone else in the room looked at her.
"What are you… Steph— Barbara— oh my God!" She stared at all of them.
"What's wrong with—" Barbara glanced around.
"Harley your hair!" Selina cried in horror at the same time Barbara sprinted for the bathroom. "It's- it's…." Selina gaped at Harley. "It's—"
"—it's pink!" Stephanie shrieked. Her own hair was dyed a light purple at the ends, and when she caught sight of it, she wailed.
"She's blonde!" Harley pointed at Barbara before freezing. "It's what!?" Harley grabbed the tips of her hair examining them. She bolted upright. "Where's a mirror!?"
"Bathroom," Barbara wailed, pulling on her hair.
"Does anyone else's stomach hurt- like really bad—?" Selina whined.
"What the hell happened last night?" Cass asked. "Where the hell are we?"
"What the hell's on your face?" Steph stared at her.
"My face- your hair looks badass," Cassandra beamed, touching Steph's purple ombre.
"Really?" Steph asked as Harley brought the mirror into the room, still staring at herself. "I like the piercing."
"Huh…" Cassandra touched it thoughtfully. "I did too." In addition to her brand new eyebrow piercing, Cassandra's hair was dyed in a layer of gold underneath the black.
"What the hell happened last night?!" Barbara shrieked, pulling at her hair, dyed honey blonde. "Why the hell am I blonde?!"
"Guys… Where exactly are we?" Stephanie interjected, playing with her purple hair.
"Oh my God it's pink," Harley whispered. "I'm getting married today and it's pink!" Her voice rose in a panic.
"It's okay, it's okay—" Selina waved her hands nervously. "We can just dye it blonde again! We'll go to the salon, and get everyone's hair fixed." Selina groaned, rubbing her temples. "Is everyone here?" she looked around. "Oh shit, where are Ivy and Molly?!"
"Where are— where are we?" Harley looked around. "Hey isn't this…" She cut off when a phone started ringing somewhere.
"Find it!" Steph cried. Cass pulled it out from under the pile of purses.
"It's yours," she said as she tossed it to Harley.
"Ivy!" Harley cheered before answering. "Hello? Where are you? What happened!? Why are we in your old apartment?"
"Calm down," Ivy sighed. "I'm at Wayne Manor with that butler…" She paused for a second. "Alfred. Whatever. He's making you guys a hangover remedy."
"What. Happened?" Harley demanded.
"Relax. It's a long story. Is everyone up? You guys need to get moving. Hair appointments."
"You can't just brush this off," Harley scoffed.
"It isn't my fault. I told you guys the tattoos were a bad idea."
"Tattoos?!" Harley cried and stared at everyone. Selina went white, and Stephanie barely hesitated before starting to tear her dress off.
"Where is it!?" she screamed. Selina lifted up her dress to look at her diamond belly button ring.
"What the fuck do we do!? We don't have time to get our hair redyed! Harley, we don't have time!" Barbara wailed, before stumbling to the side. "'I'm gonna be sick—" she sprinted into the bathroom.
"You guys need to get to the hair salon," Ivy told Harley. "Plus you should probably get out of that apartment. No one else has moved in there yet, but you're probably going to get in serious trouble if you get caught crashing in a random apartment."
"Ivy!"
"Molly's on her way to pick you up. See you soon." Ivy hung up and Harley stared at the phone. She looked up.
"Molly is on her way."
"Guys look at my belly button ring," Selina whispered. Cassandra touched her piercing and grinned.
"Okay," Barbara came out of the bathroom, putting her glasses on, still looking ill. "Everyone make sure you have all of your stuff. Let's get out of here. This is okay. This is fine!" She laughed anxiously as she played with Harley's bright pink hair. It was a mess from sleep, but it was bubblegum pink. "This is cute…"
"Any other day but your wedding day and I'd say I love it," Selina agreed, laughing. "Okay. Wedding time! Let's do this. We can fix this," she took a deep breath, grabbing her purse and her shoes. Steph and Cass scrambled around to find their belongings as well, and Barbara continued to absentmindedly play with Harley's hair.
"Thank you Barbara," Harley laughed awkwardly. "You can stop playing with my hair now. And your blonde is a bit like looking in the mirror."
"Didn't I start the night with actual money?" Steph asked, digging through her purse.
"Molly is here," Selina told them, looking out the windows.
"Why do I have like six missed calls from Bruce?" Cassandra muttered confusedly.
"Okay come on let's go!" Barbara clapped, and then immediately regretted it as her ears rang. They all shuffled down the stairs and out into the street, getting into Molly's car.
"Morning!" Molly said cheerily as Harley slipped into the front seat.
"Why are you so cheery? Why didn't you wake up with us?" She rubbed her temple. "And are you as hungover?"
"Nope, I never really get hangovers," she shrugged. Steph poked Barbara's face, giggling. "But I think Stephanie might still be drunk…"
"I have a piercing!" Steph told her. "And maybe a tattoo. We haven't found it yet."
"Yeah did anyone find the tattoos? Who got tattoos?" Barbara looked around. She, Selina, Stephanie and Cassandra were all tucked in the backseat of Molly's car, the four of them smashed in without seatbelts.
"I dunno. My hair is pink. I really hope that's all I did to myself last night," Harley muttered.
"I think… did I get a tattoo?" Selina asked.
"I remember a tattoo place, but I thought that was just for the piercings!" Steph laughed, playing with her purple hair. "D'you think Bruce will let me out like this!?"
"Oh god, Bruce!" Selina choked, touching her stomach where her belly button ring was. "He'll kill me. He may not look it, but he's quite traditional." She buried her face in her hands. Steph snorted.
"He may not act it either."
"Why did I dye my hair pink before my wedding day?!" Harley asked.
"We need to fix this. We may not have time to dye your hair back, but we could have time to get a wig. There are some nice stores in Uptown. We have to get our hair done, but we could swing by there first," Selina suggested.
"I don't want to wear a wig," Harley sighed. "I spent a ridiculously large portion of my life running around in face paint and a mask, and I want to get married looking like me so… Is it going to clash?" She winced.
"Your dress is blush, so… at least it matches your color?" Molly smiled as they pulled into the parking lot of the hair salon. Harley's phone started ringing, and she looked down at Dick's caller ID.
"It's Dick." She held the phone out. "Am I allowed to answer it?"
"Um… make it fast," Selina groaned as they walked in. Their hairstylist seated them, grumbling about them being late.
"Harley?" Dick sounded hoarse, and he coughed a bit. "How are you?"
"Little freaked out and panicked. Major headache. Otherwise? Perfect." She glanced over at Selina sitting beside her. "How are you?"
"Exhausted. My throat hurts from the karaoke and then Haly kept me up all night; but otherwise, I'm all butterflies," he chuckled. "I miss you. I'm just making sure everything is underweigh on your end."
"Hair is currently being threatened into place. How's our little angel?"
"Well she was up all night with diarrhea," Dick yawned. "She's sleeping it off."
Around Harley, hairstylists were working on each of her bridesmaids hair. Cassandra had taken to scrolling through her phone, and Selina and Steph were talking across the aisle while N'sync played on the radio.
"Good. She's feeling better right? I'm sorry I wasn't there." The final stylist walked over and glared at her. "I'm getting the death glare for being on my phone," she whispered.
"That's alright. I'm sure Alfred will find me soon. See you in a few hours," she could hear the smile in his voice, "love you."
"I love you too. Give Haly a kiss for me."
"Can do, Mom," he beamed, and then hung up. Selina glanced at Harley.
"Okay, apparently we got our nails done last night. We have to do hair, makeup, and get back to the Manor to get dressed, and we should be good to go. Hopefully." She shrugged. The stylist was done with her pixie cut almost immediately, and she looked in the mirror.
"Why didn't you dye your hair?" Barbara muttered irritably from the sinks, where her stylist was scrubbing her hair out.
"Because maybe she was smarter than the rest of us," Harley muttered. "This isn't even the same shade as my dress."
"Nope," Stephanie sighed. "What color am I wearing again?"
"I think it looks pretty cool," Cassandra told her. Harley stared at herself in the mirror as the stylist brushed her hair.
"It is kinda cute…" she hedged, turning her head a bit.
"And I'll make it look terrific," her stylist smiled at her in the mirror. The bell on the door clanged as another stylist walked in carrying a Starbucks coffee.
"Hey!" she called when she saw the large group. "My favorite bridal party's back."
"Back?" Cass asked.
"Me and the rest of the stylists last night really enjoyed you guys stopping by," she laughed. "I've never had to tell someone to put the vodka away during an appointment."
"Are we… The only ones?" Selina glanced at the others. "I mean, was it just the six of us?" She asked.
"Well," the stylist looked around. "There was that angry redhead who kept telling you this was a bad idea."
"Ugh! I cant believe Ivy even let it happen! She shoulda drugged us all and dragged us home," Barbara groaned, her head in her hands. Her stylist irritably pulled her head straight so she could finish her updo. "Why blonde?!" Barbara cried in annoyance.
"Hey," Steph protested, mid selfie.
"It looks good on you," Selina told Barbara.
Harley's hair was starting to look good, her stylist halfway through her updo, the pinks and purples catching the light. Two curls framed her face beautifully, and the color made her blue eyes pop.
"Oh," the stylist sat down at the register, "you two picked blonde for her," she pointed between Harley and Barbara. "You two thought it'd be funny because it would really confuse some guy that she was blonde instead of you." She shrugged and drank her coffee. Barbara's eyes went wide.
"Oh God, Dick," she cried, her hands on either side of her face as she gaped at Harley. "Why?! Why?"
"Is it even legal to dye our hair when we were that drunk?" Harley demanded.
"Hey, you were all very persistent, and that one," she pointed at Selina, "is very good at threatening people. You were all willing to seriously overpay and even that sober redhead got her hair dyed."
"Okay," Selina rubbed her temples. "Let's just get this done, and move on. We'll just have to do the dresses when we get back, and makeup…"
"Harley your hair looks so good!" Cassandra smiled, her own hair pulled back in a sporty braided updo, bright yellow streaking through the black.
"Well let's hope Dick doesn't turn me away at the altar when he sees it."
"He'd never do that," Steph laughed. "Love is blind, right?"
"Well he might want to be today." Harley examined herself in the mirror before hopping out of the chair. "But then it'll grow of him. It's just… the wedding pictures." She stared at herself in the mirror. "In all the pictures… pink. Forever."
"If anything describes your wedding, it's probably that," Molly smiled as she walked up. "You look stunning, and we've gotta get a move on."
"Fine," Harley sighed. "Is the maid of honor actually going to join us?"
"She's waiting at the Manor," Molly assured her.
"Okay, okay." Harley turned away from the mirror. "Let's pay and get out of here."
"Already taken care of," Selina beamed, ushering them out as Cass and Steph followed. They all piled into Molly's car once again, and Steph complained the entire way through Gotham.
"I will kick you out of this car and out of this wedding," Harley warned, "if you don't stop."
"I can't help it," she whined. "I'm all squished!"
"I'm squished too," Cass offered.
"Well as long as it doesn't ruin your hair I don't need to hear about it."
"It's not," she muttered dejectedly as they drove up the drive to Wayne Manor.
"Okay!" Selina clapped. "We're getting ready here, and then heading to the circus!"
"That's the best sentence I've heard all day!" Steph cheered. Harley stared at the Manor as it came into view. Now that she saw it, her stomach was twisted into knots. They all piled out of the car, and Selina opened Harley's car door for her.
"Harley? Are you okay?" She asked, crouching in front of the door to look at her. "You look spooked," she laughed.
"I'm fine. It's just… I'm getting married today," she said weakly.
"Yeah," Selina smiled, rubbing her shoulder.
"I'm actually getting married today. It's really happening." Harley paused for a second. "What the hell is he thinking? Why is he marrying me? Shouldn't I want a responsible father for my baby?" She smiled as Steph snorted.
"Dick? Irresponsible?" Barbara leaned over the open door as she giggled. "Honey, he may forget to put the milk away, or not close the garage door, take the garbage out, or do the laundry sometimes— but when it comes to taking care of you and your baby, he'll never slip up. It'll be infuriating how on top of things he'll be."
"And as for 'what he's thinking'— We all thought he was insane for wanting to date you. He proved us wrong then," Cassandra shrugged.
"Come on. Let's go get you in that dress," Selina helped her out, lacing her arm with hers. Harley groaned as she let herself be pulled up.
"Can we get some coffee too? My head hurts."
"I'm sure Alfred has some made up," Selina smiled, ushering Harley upstairs. "Go make some coffee," she told Steph before following Harley up the stairs to the master bedroom, where all of their dresses were hung neatly in Selina's massive walk in closet.
"Let's do this!" Selina grinned at Harley, taking her dress off of the hanger and turning around to take her shirt off.
"Selina!" Harley gasped, staring at her back. "You naughty, naughty girl," she laughed.
"What? Jeez, Harley, contain yourself, you're getting married!" Selina giggled flirtatiously before she caught sight of herself in the mirror. There was an artsy bat symbol tattoo on her back, just above the waistband of her jeans. She screamed.
"What the hell?!" Cass ran into the room with Steph and Ivy right behind her.
"Why is there screaming?" Steph demanded as she set down a tray of coffee and mugs; Ivy set down a tray with snacks beside it. Ivy's normally pure red hair fading to orange at the tips. "And why is Harley laughing?" she added.
"Bruce will kill me," Selina wailed, her hands on either side of her face in a panic.
"You found the tramp stamp?" Molly asked as she walked into the bedroom, already wearing her dress. She was barefoot and hadn't done her makeup.
"I'm dead!" Selina practically screamed again. "He'll practically divorce me for this! Oh God, what would Alfred say?!"
"Oh I told him," Ivy said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "He actually laughed."
"Because he knows Bruce will react badly— that's it— everyone strip." She looked around. "No more surprises. Where are all of the tattoos?!"
"Do we really have to strip?" Harley sighed. "Couldn't Ivy and Molly just tell us where they are?"
"Oh no." Molly grabbed a sandwich and stood next to Ivy. "This is way too much fun."
"This is my only one," Selina grabbed her dress, pulling it on.
"I don't… wanna put my dress on then ruin it with makeup," Harley defended. "So someone else go first."
"Chicken," Steph cried dramatically from where she was putting her makeup on in the bathroom.
"Oh my God, Selina," Barbara muttered from the closet. "Bruce buys you all this?" She pulled out a gown with the tags still on, and Selina grinned at her over her shoulder and then turned back to the mirror to brush mascara into her lashes. "You're a spoiled one," Barbara laughed.
"Don't change the subject, Molly giggled. "Barbara, you have two."
"What!?" she cried. Steph gasped.
"Wait, I can see one!" she rushed towards Babs, pushing her updo out of the way a bit. There were roman numerals tattooed in a small script on the back of her neck just under her hairline. "What is 'one nine six… five?"
"That's a seven," Selina hit her shoulder. "One nine six seven."
"That's my dad's badge number," Barbara said quietly, smiling.
"Aw that is adorable!" Selina cooed. "At least you got something that was sweet and meaningful," she grinned and flipped her skirt up, flashing her tattoo and her purple underwear as she giggled. Barbara laughed, holding up her dress to look at it.
"That's… sweet and meaningful," Harley defended as she giggled. She sat down in front of the mirror and spread the makeup out in front of her. Ivy came to help.
"You don't have room to judge," Ivy assured her as Harley glared.
"You did not let me dye my hair and get a tattoo the day before my wedding."
"Hey," Ivy put her hands up in surrender, "you guys even convinced me to dye my hair. Don't blame me."
"Now I'm really curious what Harley's is," Barbara glanced at her in the mirror as she pulled her dress on. "Oh! Found the other one."
"Where is it!" Harley turned around to look. Barbara pointed to the little police badge that was on her ankle. A 'chain' wrapped around her ankle, attached to the badge by a handcuff.
"That one's cute too!" Selina giggled, pulling her shoes on. Her makeup was flawless, and Barbara turned away to finish hers.
"Three outta six," Ivy told them as she turned Harley's face back toward her to check if her foundation was even. "You're making good progress. Although you could just ask Molly to show you hers," she added.
"Molly got one?!" Selina cried, looking up. "You little daredevil!"
"I'm gonna be sick again—" Barbara ran into the bathroom.
"Is there Advil on that tray?" Harley asked and peeked over only to have Ivy grab her cheeks and turn her face back. "Don't be so bossy," Harley muttered as Ivy brushed blush onto her cheeks. "Molly how about you take Barbara some meds and show me your tat on the way?"
"It's little," she smiled, showing Harley her wrist, where Will and Lilly's names were tattooed in small cursive print.
"Why do I get the worst hangovers?!" Barbara groaned, coming back out of the bathroom.
"Because being cursed a redhead isn't bad enough," Harley teased, still staring at Molly's wrist. "You'll have it easier as a blonde." She grinned at Barbara.
"Oh if it wasn't your wedding day I'd punch you," she scowled.
"You couldn't hit this face," Harley laughed as Ivy pulled out the eyeliner.
"Keep talking. I dare you," Ivy warned as she uncapped it. Harley stuck her tongue out as she closed her eyes.
"Okay can you at least tell me," Steph spoke up, "do I have a tattoo?"
"Yes," Molly shook her head. Stephanie stared at her and then immediately tore her clothes off, looking for the tattoo.
"I wanna see it!" Harley cried.
"I will draw this across your face," Ivy snapped.
"Bruce is gonna kill us all," Selina sighed. Stephanie cried out triumphantly, but her excitement quickly faded.
"You guys all got cute tattoos and I got a stupid butterfly on my ankle?!" She cried, and Cassandra examined it.
"It's pretty at least," she smiled. Harley snorted.
"Please don't make me ugly," she begged Ivy. "But I have to laugh." She giggled again.
"You're the last one Harley," Barbara accused. "You gotta find yours."
"Nuh uh," Harley whined. "There's one more besides me. Who else got one? Ivy? Cass? Ow! Okay, I'm done talking."
"Good. I'm almost done." Ivy tilted Harley's face to check her progress. "And no I didn't get one."
"Oh did I get one?" Cass asked.
"Still not telling you," Ivy mumbled as she touched up Harley's eyeliner. "You guys made the mistake. All I'm asking for is the amusement of watching your reactions to your stupid decision."
"Okay, I think I'm ready," Barbara announced, after having to brush her teeth for the third time after throwing up.
"Me too!" Selina grinned up from her phone. "Harley do you need anything?" Harley looked at Ivy.
"You can talk. I'm done."
"Yay! Coffee. I need coffee."
"Okay!" she jumped up and almost tripped on her shoes. They were all dressed except for Harley. Selina walked toward the tray that had been brought into the room, and Cassandra cried out.
"I cannot believe I didn't notice it before," she smiled and showed them a small line of Chinese script under her arm.
"Aww that's so cute!" Steph peered at her arm.
"What's it say?" Harley asked as she checked herself over in the mirror.
"It says 'I am Batman'," she laughed. Selina handed Harley her coffee. She giggled at Cass before downing half of the coffee.
"Hot. Hot," she hissed before setting the cup down.
"It seriously says that?" Steph laughed. "Can I be there when you tell Bruce?"
"He'll read it when he sees it," she shrugged. "If he sees it."
"Okay, everyone shut up!" Barbara cried. Her blonde hair was braided in a tight updo, with no loose hairs. "Bridesmaids all look good: it's time to focus on the bride."
They all looked at her. Every bridesmaid wore white, in contrast to Harley's pastel pink wedding dress that hung behind them against the door.
"Okay but don't focus so hard," Harley laughed, "it's kinda creepy."
"Well come on bubblegum barbie!" Steph cried. "If the Maid of Honor won't help you, I will!"
She danced over to the door and plucked Harley's dress off of the hanger, holding it out to her.
"She's right, we've only got so long to get there! Do you have your something borrowed, blue, et cetera?" Barbara asked.
"Your shoes? Where are your shoes," Cass added.
"I think my hair counts as my something new." She took the dress from Steph and looked it over. "But you guys can be in charge of the rest." She grinned. "Especially the shoes," she added as she glanced around, holding the dress up high as she went to change.
"Well where'd you put the ones you bought, smarty pants?" Selina asked, jumping up to sit on the bed beside Ivy. She bounced next to her, grinning.
"I don't even remember what I did last night," Harley defended. She cracked the door so she could still hear them as she was changing. "How am I supposed to remember where I put a pair of shoes?"
"Weren't they at your house?" Barbara pointed out.
Selina continued to bounce on the bed, much to Ivy's annoyance. She put her hand on Selina's head to try and hold her in place.
"I brought everything I could find from your place this morning. If they're not in the bag by the door," Ivy pointed to a duffle bag, "then we forgot them."
"We forgot them," Cassandra confirmed.
"How's it going in there Harley? Need any help?" Molly asked. She peeked her head out.
"No shoes?" She pouted, the crease forming between her eyebrows as she worried. "What am I supposed to wear?"
"I have plenty," Selina assured her. "And I think we're the same size."
"They might still be in the car!" Barbara cried, jumping up. "I can go check." She darted out of the room.
"Don't worry about the shoes right now, Sweetie, let's get that dress on you," Molly smiled, ducking into the walk-in closet to help her.
Barbara walked down the grand staircase in the foyer, shoving the heavy front doors open to walk out into the sunshine, her head throbbing.
"That is the last time I drink that much," she muttered, even though she knew she'd probably be drunk again by the reception tonight. It was an open bar courtesy of the Wayne Family, and it would be rude not to take advantage of it. "Let's see, shoes shoes shoes…" Barbara muttered, leaning over in the car and digging through the mess from the night before. She looked confusedly at a McDonalds bag full of kid's meal toys and then continued to dig through the backseat.
"Damn, I think we did forget them…" Barbara muttered, standing up.
"You know, I can't decide if you look as beautiful as always, or more so in that dress." There was suddenly an arm around her waist, and Dick pulled her in to his chest with a laugh. Barbara's blood ran cold. She jumped up, nearly hitting her head on the door frame of the car.
"What the hell!?" She spun around and glared at him. "You asshole!"
Dick cried out in shock and his face went red before draining of all color completely. "Babs!? What the— I thought— You were just— why are you—?!" he stuttered. His hair was combed back, and he was already dressed in a sleek tan suit jacket with a white shirt, undone at the collar.
"How could do this to Harley on your wedding day?" she demanded.
"Why are you blonde!?" he cried, running his hands through his hair. Barbara stared at him with her mouth hanging open.
"You thought I was Harley, didn't you!?"
"I- I don't know what the wedding dress looks like!" he cried. "I just wanted to— Jesus, what did you do to your hair?!"
"It's… a long story. What are you even doing here?" Her face was as bright red as her hair used to be. "You're not supposed to be here. And the bridesmaid dresses are white since Harley's dress isn't, and she wanted that to be a surprise and you ruined it. Because you're here and you're not supposed to be!"
"I just wanted to see my fiancée!" he defended. "And now I'll have to explain this oh no…" he pulled his hands through his hair again.
"Stop," she swatted his hands away, "doing that. Harley's stressed enough as it is without you ruining your hair. Or sneaking up here to see her when you're not supposed to. And especially hitting on me hours before you say 'I do.'" She smacked his arm. "What were you thinking!?"
"I thought you were Harley!" he shouted.
Selina jumped up from the bed, drawn to the window by voices in the driveway below. "Hey Ivy, what's Dick doing here?!" she whispered.
"And my hair will be fine, which is more than I can say about yours," Dick snapped, trying to comb it back down as he glared at Barbara.
"Hey!" Her hands flew up and she patted her hair. "I'm still getting used to it; don't judge. And I'm going to tell Harley you don't like blonde hair."
"I love her blonde hair," he spat back. "On her. Why did you dye yours?!"
"Hey!" They both turned to see Ivy glaring at them from the bedroom window. "Don't make me come down there and drag you away from here!"
"Yeah Barbara," Dick muttered.
"She's not talking about me," she grumbled. "No sneaking in to see Harley," she warned as she slammed the car door closed. "And try not to be as big of an ass to your actual fiancee."
"So long as she isn't suddenly a redhead, I think I'll be okay!" he snapped back as she hurried up the front steps of the Manor and shut the door behind her.
"Hey, did you find the shoes?" Steph asked from the top of the stairs, and Barbara's head snapped up.
"Nope, looks like Selina's shoes can be her 'something borrowed'."
"Come on, Nurse, can't you at least let me talk to her?!" Dick called up to Ivy, still glaring at him from the second story window.
"No. Now get out of here before I make you get out of here," she warned, "and you can ask Jason how well that would turn out for you."
"Come on Dick," Selina cried, "you know the rules. You don't get to see her."
"Screw the rules, Selina," Dick called back with a laugh.
"You don't get to see the bride before the wedding," Ivy insisted, and Selina nodded in agreement.
"So you should go. You'll see her soon enough."
"Come on," Dick kicked at the gravel, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Why do you need to see her?" Selina asked.
"…Cuz I want to," he called back.
"Why."
"Cuz I want to tell my fiancée one last time how beautiful she is before she's not my fiancée anymore!" He laughed. Selina and Ivy looked at each other before closing the window. He could see them talking to each other. They turned back toward the rest of the room, and he couldn't see what they were doing. Selina opened the window again.
"Okay. Now you can go."
"Fine. You win. But tell her that I love her at least." He spun his keys in his hand.
"Yes I will get the message across," she laughed. "Now go away so we can finish getting her ready."
"Or I could just come up there myself," Dick challenged, eyeing the wall. There were plenty of footholds on the brick, and it would be easy enough to scale. He widened his stance a bit.
"Do you want this wedding to start on time or not," Selina complained.
"We have forever," Dick laughed, taking a running start. A high heel flew out of the window, clipping his shoulder as it fell.
"I still have another," Ivy warned, glaring out the window at him.
"Oh see now you're missing a shoe, and you're to blame if you get my suit dirty. I am being very careful," he laughed again, scaling to the window in a few quick, graceful leaps. Ivy tried to shut the window before he could get his hands on the sill, but she was too late; Selina almost knocked him backwards when she shoved a scarf around his eyes. Dick laughed.
"Get. Down," she commanded, still holding the scarf over his eyes, so he couldn't see into the room at all.
"Come on. I'm bored. We've got over an hour till the wedding, and we've been ready since two hours ago," he whined, grinning. "I'm not leaving until I talk to my wife."
"She's not your wife yet," Molly reminded. "And you need to wait until she is before you talk to her."
"I'm not even allowed to talk to him?" He heard Harley whispered from somewhere in the room.
"Nope, that's not the rule. The rule is I can't see her," he pointed out with a smile. "Nowhere does it say I can't talk. It doesn't say anywhere that I can't get a kiss." His head turned to exactly where Harley's voice had come from and he beamed, leaning on the windowsill, his feet dangling below him, his muscles so tensed with the effort that his fitted suit looked like it was in danger of tearing.
"No. Stop it."
Someone smacked his forehead. It was probably Selina since it wasn't that hard.
"I'm not even allowed to see you," Harley muttered, "and I'm pretty sure the superstition only applies to the groom."
"It does— and if we're playing by the rulebook, have you bathed in milk yet, Harley? Thats an eastern tradition. Or we could throw peas after the wedding. Or not see each other before."
"I vote on not see each other before," Cass said.
"I'm not even running the show anymore," Harley sighed. "I was in the middle of changing when you started yelling so now I'm standing here blindfolded with no pants."
"Exactly why Dick needs to leave so you can finish changing," Molly argued.
"You guys are killing me here," he muttered. "I'll leave when I get a kiss."
"I could kiss him," Ivy suggested venemously.
"No!"
"Selina you're such a hypocrite. Remind me what you were doing the night before your wedding?" Dick beamed.
"Getting scolded by Alfred. But he's not here; so scram."
"Hypocrite," he nodded. "I'm not leaving. Harley-baby, I bet you look absolutely breathtaking," he grinned, leaning on his arms. Selina tugged at the blindfold and he cried out. "Easy on the face, Selina," he laughed. The door creaked as Steph and Barbara re-entered the room and everything was silent for a second.
"What the hell is going on?" Steph asked.
"He's not leaving until he gets a kiss from Harley," Selina groaned.
"Just let him kiss her," Barbara muttered. "We're running out of time here, and if he falls, you're gonna have a groom with a broken leg. The longer he hangs there the weaker he gets, and contrary to popular belief, stamina is not Dick Grayson's strong suit." Steph oohed and Cassandra and Selina laughed. Barbara crossed her arms. "Just get him out of here."
"Someone's grumpy," Steph laughed.
"Does this mean I get to kiss him?" Harley asked hopefully.
"Ugh, fine," Selina groaned. Molly walked forward with Harley still blindfolded. She lifted up Harley's hands and put them on Dick's face; she could feel him beaming, could smell his cologne mixed with the summer breeze.
"Hi," he whispered with a smile. "You look great."
"You too, handsome," she giggled.
"I love you," he breathed. "Now you gotta help me out here—" he chuckled, groaning as he lifted himself up, straightening his arms so that his lips met hers. Dick kissed her passionately. Harley giggled into the kiss.
"Don't you dare fall," she breathed against his lips. "You have somewhere important to be today."
"All I can think about is where I am now." He bit her lip and kissed her again. Dick grinned when Harley nearly screamed as he pretended to slip, and he laughed against her lips. "I'm sorry— I just had to—" Her hands tightened on his face as she kissed him hard.
"Don't do that again," she warned. "You have a whole honeymoon coming up and I'd hate for this to be the only action you see."
"I love you," he whispered against her lips.
"I love you too." She kissed him again before letting his face go and stepping back. "Now get out of here so I can finish getting ready for our wedding. As long as you still want that to happen."
"See you in a bit, my beautiful crazy girl," he laughed, and then promptly tipped over the ledge. The blindfold tore off of his face. Selina cried out and rushed to the window, only to see Dick land gracefully on the grass below. He walked to his car and waved up at them before getting in and starting it. He sat back and closed his eyes, smiling as he imagined her kiss on his lips.
His thoughts were interrupted when his phone buzzed on the passenger seat with another call from Jason. There were four missed from Bruce, and six from Jay now. He hesitated before answering it.
"Dick! Thank God. Where the hell are you?!" he demanded. "We've been looking everywhere for you! You can't just run away from your own wedding! You can't do that to Harley!"
"Why does everyone think I'd do any wrong by her?" he muttered.
"Because you vanished an hour ago after having a mental breakdown!" Jason shouted. "Get your ass back here! Where are you?!"
"At the Manor!"
"Why the hell did you leave?" Jason demanded.
"I wasn't feeling well, I felt… Off. I had to see her. Whenever I see her I feel like I can take on the world." He started the car and began driving down the long driveway.
"It was less than twenty-four hours!" Jason cried. "You couldn't wait a little longer?"
"No, Jay. I didn't feel right." Dick rolled his eyes, speeding back towards the bridge into Gotham.
"Are you of all people getting cold feet? You can't go for five minutes without seeing her but what… It doesn't feel right marrying her?"
"No, that wasn't it, Jason. Something just felt off. I thought something was wrong. Like she was in danger or needed my help or maybe even my reassurance. For a split second, I thought maybe something was wrong and I panicked. I can't explain it." He glanced out the window and then shouted at a car that cut him off. "I'm almost to the circus. Is everything going smoothly?"
"Yeah, yeah. No one is having any weird spider senses about your fiancée. Or any of the plans."
"Good. I don't know why I didn't just make you my best man, Jason, you're the only one that's been on top of things—" he hesitated— "don't repeat that."
"Yeah well things are still being set up here so hurry up and get back in case anything goes wrong. Then you can keep that high opinion of me, and you'll have to deal with it."
"Sounds like a plan." Dick hung up and pressed down on the gas.