Thank you for all the reviews! I'm so glad you are all enjoying this. Someone commented that the Bennet family was always dysfunctional, and yikes! Yes, they were, and not in any good way. Someone suggested that the Bennets should have a family punishment. Well, that would be ideal, but not in keeping for their Era. If maybe they were a religious family, yes that would work, but the only one who was religious was Mary. Also, Mr Collins don't deserve Mary! Don't worry about her she will get married and it ain't gonna be to Mr Collins. Someone also talked about the agreement between the three youngest. Just to clarify, Mary was never overly religious to start with, but she took up that guise deliberately, so they were taunting her about something she'd deliberately taken up. That was the plan. It wasn't so they would actually fight amongst themselves. Again someone said they were too self-aware. I firmly believe they were always aware. Lydia fully knew what she was doing when she eloped with Mr Wickham, she just didn't care. Another person said that Jane and Elizabeth would have had a hand in teaching the younger girls, but don't forget that Mrs Bennet was exactly the kind of person who wouldn't let anyone do anything in her place if she could do it. If she thought she could teach Lydia and Kitty, then Mr Bennet wouldn't have gotten near them. Someone also said that there would have been no ugliness in the original book. No one died in the original book! That's the whole point, they have just lost their mother. Before they had lost their mother they were all arguing and behaving badly towards each other, and then those ill feelings were amplified by guilt and grief! I have behaved that way, when I lost my fiance! I am one of 9 children! My only sister was the eldest, and I have four brothers in between them, and three younger ones with disabilities, and I have fought for my share of the attention in less than kind ways. Maybe you didn't get that with your family, which don't get me wrong, is good. But I got that with mine. I am speaking from experience. I also made Mr Bennet very frank because he is utterly shocked by Jane's behaviour and is trying to shock her into sense and reality. Otherwise there would be no mention of rape. Anyways, again thank you all for your reviews! I hope you enjoy this next chapter.
Mr Bennet had long prided himself on his powers of observation, his good sense, and his intelligence. That he had been so oblivious towards his children surprised him. In his mind he'd had Lydia, Kitty and Mary summed up. Mary was naturally reticent and religiously minded, Kitty was of a fashionable bent, and Lydia was determined to be a flirt. Thus, when he was firmly rebutted by Lydia, he could not reprimand her for her sharp tongue. He had oft been possessed of such a weapon in his youth, that while hidden, still lingered to this day. The events of the day washed over him. He'd never known that Jane possessed a temper, that sweet-tempered Jane could ever snap, that Kitty, little Kitty, had grown so tall and womanly. In his mind they were still little girls. He had never been so taken aback in his life as when he realised that Lydia had grown, she was no longer a toddling five year old, mischievous and bright like her elder sister, but silly in her manner. How long had it been since he'd properly looked at his girls? How long had it been since he'd shown them some affection? He of the occasion would pat Lizzy on the hand or shoulder tenderly, but he hadn't embraced one of his girls in years. The youngest had certainly never gone to him for comfort. But then again why should they when he had given them up as silly and stupid? True, of course he had given up their education to Fanny, when she had fought him for it. He had taught Mary as much as he could, but she was slower to wit than Lizzy was, and a far slower learner. She did not ask questions as Lizzy did, and he had given her up to learning by herself, never knowing how hurt she was. He'd never fought to teach the younger ones, giving them up to Fanny, despite the fact that she had gotten sillier and sillier as the years passed by and no son was produced. She had given herself over completely to her nerves and gossip and it was no surprise that without any guidance from their elder sisters they had become as silly as their mother. Fanny had not allowed any intervention from Lizzy or Jane, proclaiming it was a mother's place to teach a daughter, and not for a sister to teach a sister, and so they had stayed well away, watching as their sisters grew ever more wild and flighty. And so a pattern was created where daughter mimicked mother and sister never went to sister. The three youngest had long been ignored by himself and the two eldest.
He sat there musing over his failings as a father for sometime, until a sharp knock brought Mrs Hill in to his study, informing him that dinner would be ready soon, and no one could find Miss Elizabeth, downstairs or in the garden. Mr Bennet launched himself out of his seat. If there were not mourning rules to obey he would have questioned if they had seen Lizzy tramping all over the countryside, and they would often reply with a yes. But Lizzy never disregarded rules like mourning, and she would certainly never act like a hoyden in wake of today no matter how tempting a walk might be.
"Have you checked upstairs, Mrs Hill?" He asked, and the good woman nodded her head.
"Aye, I checked Miss Lizzy and Miss Jane's rooms. I could see Miss Jane, but I didn't find Miss Lizzy." Mr Bennet paced around the desk thoughtfully, then something struck him, and he marched out the room and up the stairs to Lydia's room. He didn't notice Mrs Hill trailing behind him, nor Mary and Kitty following them curiously. He reached the landing and strode straight over to Lydia's door, twisting the knob and was about to open it furiously when a small bout of feminine laughter reached his ears. Curiosity made him open it slowly so as to get a better view. Lydia was reading a book, perched up on her elbows and giggling at it, and Lizzy was attempting an embroidery sampler, and laughing every time Lydia made a suggestion.
"Caught with his breeches down against a wall, Lizzy! I'm sure of it!" Lydia proclaimed and Lizzy laughed again, leaning over from her position by the bed to get a better view.
"Lydia, it says that 'he faced the wall with a great expression of calamity, his breeches rent asunder by the marauding animals', it does not say he was against the wall." She replied, and Lydia laughed.
"Yes, but Lizzy, if it says rent asunder then surely they would have fallen by then?"
"Not necessarily, they could simply have been torn around the legs." Lizzy replied and Lydia laughed.
"Imagine if they were torn around the posterior. It says the ladies rounded the corner and saw him through the hedge. What a sight that would be!" She giggled.
"Lydia!" Lizzy cried before allowing her own giggles to join Lydia's. The thought struck her as truly comical, and she pulled a funny face before she looked down at her embroidery. "It also says that he saw the ladies coming and tried to hide himself against the hedge. He would have been facing them, therefore it would not have been his posterior that was exposed." She retorted, and there was silence for a few moments as they considered that point, then Lydia looked at Lizzy and waggled her eyebrows mischievously prompting another cry of her name before they giggled and turned back to the book. Lydia was just about to take up the task of reading again, before she was interrupted by her door swinging wide open and Mr Bennet stepping through the threshold. Both girls looked at him in alarm.
"Tis almost dinnertime Lizzy, and the household has been looking for you." Lizzy nodded already moving to put her things away in the basket. Mr Bennet eyed Lydia for several seconds before he spoke again. "A tray will be sent up here, Lydia. If you cannot eat it properly, I will send one of your sisters to help you." Lydia nodded also, and looked down at her book. Mr Bennet exited the room and returned downstairs followed by Mrs Hill. Mary and Kitty lingered and watched Lizzy pack up her embroidery. As she moved to put away her sampler, Lizzy looked down sadly at her stitches and tutted. Lydia raised an eyebrow.
"Did you ruin another stitch, Lizzy?" She asked and Lizzy showed her the sampler. The flowers she had attempted looked more like hats than flowers, and Lydia wrinkled her nose at them.
"I cannot seem to manage to get them to look decent. I always muddle up my half stitches and my cross stitches and I never know which ones to use." Lizzy replied sadly, plucking at the thread with her needle. Lydia looked up at Kitty, and then at Lizzy.
"Kitty is marvellous with stitchery. I'm sure she'd know better than I, wouldn't you Kitty?" She asked, and Kitty came forward and looked at Lizzy's embroidery and then at the pattern Lizzy had drawn. Her eyebrows rose as she viewed them, but she considered it deeply and then looked at Lizzy.
"I can help you by redrawing that pattern in the stitches you need, but I will have to do it later this evening after I have reworked my bonnet." Lizzy nodded at Kitty.
"I thank you, I shall make sure I have it in my basket in the parlour." She replied, and finished packing it away. Lydia watched as she rose to leave, her brow furrowed in thought. Of all the people to sit beside her bed and spend the afternoon with her, she had not expected Lizzy. After the debacle with Jane earlier she had expected to be reprimanded by Lizzy, and to be isolated. Yet, Lizzy had joined her, and had even laughed with her. It struck Lydia as odd. She questioned Lizzy's motives. Was it possible that she had been horrified by Jane? Was it possible that Lizzy was taking her side? She could not have said. She stared at the book for a long time, thinking, until Sarah came up with her dinner tray. She promptly shifted onto her backside to eat, wincing as she put weight on the bruises. Across the hall in her own room, Jane Bennet sat on her bed and pushed her food around. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her cheeks blotchy, and small fat tears dripped onto her plate. She was heartily ashamed of herself. Never in her life had she been punished, and never had she behaved so bad. It weighed very heavily on her, and she ate barely enough to keep a baby sparrow alive. Downstairs was a much different scene.
When they had arrived downstairs, Lizzy had found her place usurped by Mary, and Kitty was down by the foot of the table where she would normally sit. Lizzy had automatically gone to sit at her usual spot until her father cleared his throat and she came to a halt. For a moment she was confused then, after several seconds she turned around and took her place at the foot of the table near Kitty. After grace had been said, they served themselves, and slowly hesitantly Mr Bennet began a conversation on his latest book with her. He had received a book on the use of flowers in medicine and the history of their usage. He seemed surprised when Kitty and Mary joined in, with well-thought out questions of their own. Nevertheless, the conversation flowed around the table, and it was likely the most peaceable meal ever eaten there since Fanny Gardiner had become Mrs Bennet. The absence of the eldest and youngest sisters were keenly felt though, and after dinner they all trooped upstairs to peek into Lydia's room. That young woman found great happiness in their arrival, and although Mary gave her a stern lecture on her behaviour that day, nothing could dampen her bright smile when she realised the girls were there to see her. Lizzy stayed long enough to smile at her sisters, affectionately touch Lydia's hand, and then she excused herself once Mary began lecturing. Hesitantly, she entered Jane's room. That young woman was not quite so happy to see her. They were both silent upon Lizzy's entering, and it remained so for several seconds, until Lizzy swiftly crossed the room to sit upon the bed.
"You beat her!" She exclaimed as loudly as she dared. Jane nodded and refused to meet her eyes.
"I did." Lizzy stared at her and then leaned forward.
"Why?" Jane's head shot up.
"Why? She called me a harlot, she said I was responsible for Mama's death! She called me selfish and other unmentionable things! She did not hold back on insulting every inch of me I assure you!"
"So you beat her?"
"So I beat her." Jane's reply was subdued this time. "I slapped her, I kicked her. Make no mistake, Lizzy it was not without provocation. She hit first. I should never have considered behaving so otherwise."
"Regardless Jane, one or two hits with a poker to her posterior would have been well and truly sufficient, but Papa, Mary and Kitty say that they saw you force her up the stairs by beating her and you held her by her hair!"
"Aye, I did. It was like I was possessed. I have never felt so malicious in all my life. She has taunted me for the past few days, she has acted most strangely and hatefully. I knew not how to deal with her."
"She is grieving Jane. We all are. You know how Lydia only ever cared for Mama's love and approval, you are surely aware of how hard it would have hit her. Mama's loss will be felt by us all." Jane nodded.
"Yes, but Lizzy-"
"Are you truly making excuses for your behaviour?" Lizzy cried, and Jane stared at her.
"Why are you taking her side? She attacked me first, she provoked me, she has done so for the past few days!" Lizzy shot to her feet and looked down at Jane furiously.
"She is a child, who has lost her mother! She is a child resorting to childish ways to rid herself of her grief! Do you not remember the Baker boys? Their mother died in a fire, and for the next two years they were the most surly, angry boys in Meryton. As for taking her side, if you had heard the way Kitty spoke to me you could understand! Lydia has hated you for years! Regardless of whether or not she behaved badly, regardless of whether she taunted you, you beat her so badly she will likely remain in her bed until the funeral! She is punished same as you, but for a lesser amount of time because unlike you, she in anger did not beat a child so badly that there are already bruises on her back!" And so saying Lizzy made to storm out of the room, stopped only by Jane's choking plea.
"Lizzy please. Lizzy, don't abandon me now. I admit I was wrong to do that, and I should never have beaten her, but I lost my temper." Jane was crying again, and Lizzy turned. Slowly she returned to Jane's bedside and sat back down.
"I never thought you capable of acting cruelly, Jane. But I could hear Lydia screaming from the other side of the garden. I can hear it echoing in my head. I have never seen Papa so pale, nor Mary and Kitty so frightened as when I entered the house. Kitty cried in Papa's arms when she had finished tending Lydia's wounds, she sobbed like her very heart was breaking. Do you know what she said to me after Papa had gone upstairs? She told me that they had always been jealous of us. They had always felt abandoned by us. They were always trying to get our attention, to be worthy of us. They even have a pact. Jane, they made a pact to tease Mary about her habits, habits that she took up so they could tease her. They thought that if they teased Mary, then we would take Mary's side, and take her under our wing. Then once we had done that, Mary could slowly bring them in, and they would pretend that we had reformed them. They have been trying that for years. They are nothing like what we have thought of them, what I have thought of them. I have ignored Mary for years, I have deemed her bookish and thoughtless and spiritless. I have ignored Kitty and Lydia, I have mocked them to father, I have thought them stupid and irrational. I have spent years refusing to even talk to them about anything, and I do not intend to wake up thirty years from now and regret never letting my younger sisters know that I love them." Throughout her whole speech, Jane had stared at Lizzy in dismay. When Lizzy rose to leave, Jane shook her head.
"That is all very well for you, Lizzy, but when I cannot talk to them for the next month, how am I meant to make amends to them?"
"Have you considered perhaps sitting and reading aloud? We are prevented from talking to you. You are not prevented from talking to us. I have already spent some time with Lydia, embroidering with her. Not everything needs to be said with words." Lizzy sent Jane a small smile and then slipped out the room. She went to go down to the parlour and then stopped outside Lydia's room and poked her head in. Kitty was stroking Lydia's hair softly, while the younger girl dosed. The sweet scene made Elizabeth smile, and she withdrew quietly and took her workbasket downstairs to the parlour. Mary was already there, sitting by the fire in the chair Jane had abandoned several hours ago. She held a book in her hands, though her eyes were not trained on it. Lizzy quietly slipped to her side and looked down at Mary. To her surprise, underneath the cover of Mary's beloved Fordyce was a novel! And quite a romantic one as far as Lizzy recalled. She cleared her throat softly, and Mary jumped and turned around.
"That chapter is a rather good one, isn't it?" Elizabeth said, and Mary looked up at her in confusion.
"You never read Fordyce, Lizzy." She replied warily.
"No, but I couldn't help but see some of the words over your shoulder just now. Who knew Fordyce was such a romantic?" Lizzy replied with a teasing smile that Mary hesitantly returned. Once she had settled herself on the lounge, Elizabeth began pulling apart the threads that had gone wrong. Embroidery had always frustrated her deeply, and she felt that the stitches were mocking her with every wrong move she made. Sensing her frustration, Mary eyed her saucily.
"If you can consider Fordyce romantic, than I must consider you to be a seamstress, Lizzy. I have never seen you pay such particular attention to your embroidery; it has always ended up crumpled in a heap in the darkest corner of whichever room you were doing it in." Lizzy looked up at the teasing tone, for Mary had lectured her, quoted to her, but she had never teased her. She raised an eyebrow at her younger sister.
"Indeed Mary, I have found my true calling, and it is to put needles through cloth in the most worthless of ladylike pursuits ever invented! I know not why someone thought ladies should have the patience to stab a cloth several hundred times, but I find I lack such patience!" She retorted, and hissed in frustration when she pricked her finger with the needle. Mary smiled at her, and eyed her work.
"As did Kitty for many years, but she persevered until she received the results she wanted. How else do you think she became so good at doing up her dresses and bonnets?" Lizzy looked at her contemplatively.
"I thought it came naturally to her." She replied, and Mary snorted.
"I know not how Kitty came to learn them, but by dint of instructing her I was privy to her many unladylike bursts of rage when she pricked her finger or tore her cloth or made too many wrong stitches. I have since became fluent in many curses that would make more genteel-bred ladies than I whimper into their handkerchiefs." Lizzy raised an eyebrow.
"Indeed?" Mary nodded at her and smiled secretively. After several moments, Elizabeth's eyes dropped to her work, and she smiled ruefully. "Very well. If Kitty can manage to be patient for years, I shall endeavour to be patient for several minutes until she can assist me." Mary returned to her book with a small smile playing around her lips. It suddenly occurred to Lizzy that that moment was the first time in as many as ten years since she had spoken to Mary without behaving in a condescending manner. Guilt writhed within her and she focused hard on her stitches to prevent the sudden tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes from falling. She removed her stitches carefully and barely noticed when Kitty entered the room. That young lady was intently reworking her favourite bonnet in black, brown and dark grey. Silence overtook the room, only broken by the crackling of the fire and the occasional sound of a turning page. Lizzy finished pulling apart her flowers and replaced the needle before she turned to her workbasket and dug around inside it, attempting to find a much simpler sampler. Unbeknown to her, she was covertly watched by Mary and Kitty. The latter was attempting to figure out Elizabeth's intentions in creating the sampler that she had seen on the pattern; the former was admiring the persistence that had been inspired in her elder sister. The two young girls watched Elizabeth sit at her needlework and follow the much simpler pattern until Kitty had finished her bonnet. Then until they retired, Kitty reworked the pattern on parchment to show which stitches Lizzy would need and where. Then she removed sample threads and tied them around holes she had poked in the parchment. So great was her desire to prove herself, she also managed to complete a few of the required stitches in each colour so that Elizabeth could see what colours to use and where. To say that Elizabeth was pleased would greatly understate it, and when she saw what Kitty had done with her pattern, she thanked her wholeheartedly and hugged her before they retired.
The very next morning Elizabeth rose early as was her wont, and went from her room. Realising that it would be very disrespectful to go tramping about the countryside as she usually did, she simply dressed herself and sat down to do her needlework. It wasn't long before she tired of staring at the stitches in silence, and so she rose and took the basket to go downstairs. Something however stopped her outside Lydia's door. She knocked lightly, uncertain if Lydia was even awake yet, but a voice bade her entrance. She stepped inside the little room, to see Lydia lying on her side with tears in her eyes, and Jane sitting opposite to her. She stopped and looked at the pair of them, but Lydia refused to meet her gaze and Jane barely looked up herself.
"I should have known it would be you, Lizzy. You are almost always the first of us up." Jane said in greeting, and Lizzy looked at her in some surprise.
"Generally, yes. Although I have beaten Father downstairs only a few times in my life. But I am surprised, I thought with yesterdays events neither one of you should be comfortable in close quarters with the other." She replied curiously. Jane shifted uncomfortably and looked down.
"I had apologies to make that could not be delayed. I have received instruction, and I must now do some learning so that I may make reparation." Unbidden tears slid down her cheeks and she looked out of the window as if she were trying very hard not to cry. Lizzy switched her gaze to Lydia, who was also crying. She knew not how long the discussion had been, but it was clear that it had pained both parties to speak to each other; and while her naturally curious mind would have loved to mull over the details that had been shared, she knew that they needed some time to clear the air. She slowly turned back to the door.
"If you so wish, I shall repair downstairs and ask Lucy for a tea tray for you." As if struck by lightning, Jane rose swiftly and moved towards the door. Elizabeth did not miss the sudden flinch that Lydia made at the sudden movement, but she made no comment. Jane stopped beside her and looked at her, almost in relief.
"No, I thank you, I shall do the task myself. I have a sudden need for fresh air, so I may gather some flowers from the garden." Jane said hastily, and Elizabeth nodded at her and watched Jane leave before turning to Lydia, slowing her normally quick movements. She flashed her little sister a smile, and moved gracefully to the now vacant chair and seated herself. Lydia eyed her for several moments before she opened her mouth.
"I have no wish to speak of it." Lydia said, and Elizabeth looked at her calmly.
"Indeed I am not surprised. I have no wish to pry into your private affairs. Certainly if even being in company distresses you presently, I shall take my leave of you for the parlour." She replied and Lydia shook her head vigorously.
"Oh no! Please do not. It is only that it is quite pleasant to have some company early in the morning. Kitty is removed from my room and I usually am able to talk to her whilst she sketches her designs."
"Very well, I shall stay. I must add my own apologies however Lydia. I should not have slapped you. It was despicable of me and I abhor that I behaved that way." Lydia shook her head softly.
"No, do not apologise. I was not at my best behaviour that evening, and I fear I may have warranted that slap." There was an uneasy silence for several moments, and then Lydia burst forth beginning to sob again. "I miss Mama! I miss her so cruelly! I loved her so much, Lizzy and now she is gone!" She threw herself onto her pillow and began to heave. For several seconds, Elizabeth watched in alarm, and then moved forward to gently place a hand on Lydia's shoulder.
"We all do Lydia. We all miss her. Now we have to find a move to cope with the grief and move on." She said as softly as she could, but Lydia shook her head.
"But how?! How!?" Lydia cried out loudly, and Lizzy opened her mouth to reply before promptly closing it. She had no answer. How could she? She had certainly never experienced such grief before. She sank to her knees beside the bed and held fast to Lydia's hand before she, too, wept. She had cried for her mother when she'd passed, but as the days had gone by she had shed but a few tears. Now she joined Lydia in weeping and together they cried their hearts out into the sheets of the bed. It wasn't until Kitty drew them close that they realised they were not alone. Mary stood just behind Lizzy with a strange expression on her face. Old memories bubbled forth in Elizabeth's head and she suddenly launched herself at Mary, at the younger sister she had been so excited for as a little girl. A memory of her playing with Jane and Mary rose in her mind and the nursery rhyme they had twisted to crown Mary with flowers.
"Oh Mary little lamb!" She cried and threw herself at Mary's feet. "I am so sorry. I never should have abandoned you! You were my little lamb, and I left you behind nothing! I am so sorry." She babbled and cried, hugging herself to Mary's knees. A thousand regrets welled up in her head, and she unconsciously cried them all out, apologising to each girl for the way she had abandoned them, for every harsh word she'd ever said, for the way she'd refused to listen to them. She cried until she had cried every last tear, ashamed that it had taken her mother's death to realise how much she loved her younger sisters and how much she'd betrayed them. She didn't see Mary silently crying as she drew the chair up behind her and sat down. She didn't see Kitty's face soften even as she held a still weeping Lydia. She only knew that when Mary pulled her closer and let her head on her lap, that she was forgiven. None of them noticed Jane standing just outside the door watching them all. Tears slowly dripped down her face and though she was moved by the sight she did not venture forth to join them. A part of her knew that she would be unwelcome by what she had done. She went silently to her own room after several minutes and cried there. She made a silent vow to be a better sister and a better person and then she drew out a sheet of parchment and wrote down ways to change. Neither she nor her sisters saw Mr Bennet go up to Mrs Bennet's room and sit by her bed.
"Well Fanny. It seems our little family is banding together. I know not how it happened, but it seems that our daughters may very well pull together and become true sisters. I fear I failed you, Fanny. I fear I may have failed them all. I don't know what to do next. I do not know. I should have done better, Fanny. I should have done better. I cannot give up now. I cannot fail them again. They need me now, Fanny, and I have already failed them once. I don't want to fail them again. You were not supposed to go before me, Fanny. But you did." He said, and then promptly buried his head in his hands and silently wept.
Meanwhile in Meryton towards the back of the village in a small house, a widow sat down to her tea and plotted. Though she talked out loud she did not have much fear, despite her only maid being outside the door.
"Should I wait the full period? No, no, I must strike whilst he is still vulnerable. Six months should suffice. Then I can take those brats in hand. I will marry that Jane girl off to the butcher, and that Elizabeth will need to taken firmly in hand. As for the two youngest, they will fear me before the year is out. Yes, six months should do nicely." She plotted to herself, and the young woman outside the door curled up her nose and sneaked off. Her mistress wouldn't have anything to do with the Bennet girls if she could help it. She'd been in service to Mrs Julia Turner for seven years as a cook and maid, and she had yet to find a single good thing about the woman. She dodged the three children sitting in the small nursery with practised ease and pulling on her bonnet, set off to the town square to gossip. Julia Turner would never become Mrs Julia Bennet as long as Vivian Jones had anything to say about it.
And there we go! What will Mrs Turner do? We will find out later. I hope you enjoyed this, and please let me know what you think. Reviews are always welcome, and I will always respect your opinions. Thank you very much and peace out! Anne Douglas- xoxo