A/N: Can you believe it's been nearly five years since I've last updated this? Leave me a review so I can restore some serotonin. Thanks, buds.

J

Chapter 12

Jacob told me that he'd be wanting to talk. But with everything going on he told me to go home and get some rest. It was late when I arrived. One of the pack members dropped me off. Leah stayed at the hospital. Didn't leave Sam's side. He's in critical condition. From what it sounded like it could go either way at this point. I couldn't help but feel guilty as I laid my head down in my bed. Victoria was here because of me. Because Edward killed James. Sam might die, and it will be because of Edward and I. And Edward wasn't even here to deal with the aftermath of our problems.

Stupid vampire.

So over Edward and his selfishness. His bitchass told me he was going to love me forever. So far nothing good has come of it. I'm acting all tough, but I feel a tear roll down my face. I try to stay quiet. I wish Carmen was here. She really would've had so much fun meeting my family and Leah and the pack. Oh and if she would've been here when I saw Alice. Oh my god...she would've lost it.

"Bells?" a deep voice came from my window. I turn to look and it's Jacob. I suppress a groan.

"I thought you said, 'go home, get some rest' ? This is the exact opposite!" I said. I got up from my sleeping position as Jacob softly climbed in through my window. "Come on, let's go downstairs, I'll make us some coffee. I'm sure you're exhausted."

We did exactly that, I wrapped myself up in a throw blanket to shield myself from the cold.

I sat with Jacob in silence for several minutes at our kitchen table while the coffee brewed and filled the kitchen.

"I don't think Sam is going to make it." he said really softly. "And that...changes everything." His face was turned down, and I saw him shake his head at himself. "I'm scared, Bells. Honestly. I'm so scared."

"What are you afraid of, Jake? You have so many people on your side."

"I have people depending on me, you mean." he said with a bitter tone.

"What are you saying?"

"When Sam dies, I become the new Alpha. I was supposed to be in the first place. But Sam shifted first, he became a werewolf first. So it just seemed natural that he would be the leader. He had the most experience."

"Why would you be the alpha?"

"Because of family lineage. The last time the wolves were around, my grandfather was the Alpha."

"This is so insane."

"Tell me about it! When did you learn how to kill vampires? And your strength! Bella!" he stage whispered incredulously.

"It's kind of a secret, Jake."

He scoffed. "Yeah, and I'm taking selfies in my wolf form and posting them on snapchat. Bella, come on." he said.

I thought back to what they taught us at bootcamp. They said that being a slayer was meant to be kept away from the public. So far I have told three people. Braxton and Mitch figured it out for themselves. And I told Edward. But he hardly believed me. He was just amazed at my strength. Apparently seeing wasn't believing. The rules weren't too strict on the secrecy because Buffy wasn't very secretive about it either. She tried her best. And that's what is expected of us.

Before I could answer a sound came from Jacob's phone indicating a notification. It was a text message.

He sighed. "It just says I have to go back to the hospital now. I'm not done talking to you, Bells. We have more than just one thing to talk about." He said hinting about the thing that happened before the fight.

I fought off a blush from coming to my face. "Get out of here, Jake. They need you." He got up from his seat and kissed me quickly on the forehead, surprisingly to me, and gathered himself.

"I'll call you," He said. And I nodded in response. And he was out the door.

I got up and turned the coffee maker off. Then I headed back to sleep upstairs. Before falling asleep I wondered when Leah would be home.

I woke up long after morning. It was creeping up to noon. Leah was asleep in the bed next to me. Her eyes were puffy and she snored softly. I got up carefully not to wake her and began to change my clothes. Taking off the clothes from last night lifted some of the pain off my shoulders. I set them in a pile on my floor and decided once I stripped down to my undies that I should take a shower.

Nothing felt right. And feeling the hot water pour down my back carefully burned that feeling into my skin. I looked down and saw the dirt and blood coat the bottom of my shower, I closed my eyes in disgust. I'm supposed to be just visiting with my dad. I'm supposed to be on vacation. At least I know I won't have to worry about Victoria anymore. But I didn't even realize she was a threat. But how could I not? Why was I such a complete fool. I was so blindsided by her attack. And Sam is probably dead.

After showering I put some clothes on with the intent on going outside for a run. I meet Charlie at the bottom of the stairs, his expression is incredibly serious. I stop when I see him and slow down the stairs.

"You got attacked by wild wolves last night? Everything okay? Did you get hurt?"

"Dad, I'm perfectly fine, Jake kept me safe," Mentioned Jake because I know how much Charlie likes him.

He sighed, "It's such a shame about those two boys, you know that they were probably just trying to protect everyone."

My breathing came to a halt, "Two boys?" oh god, I know we lost Jared but does that mean Sam…

"Sam passed on this morning, is what I heard at the station,"Charlie said, " It's such a shame. Both Jared and Sam… They had such bright futures."

I finally let out a breath, "Dad I need to go find Jake, can I borrow the car?" I have to find him now, he's going to do something crazy.

"Everything okay, Bells?"

"Sam and Jared were really close with Jake… I just have to see him. Is that okay?"

Ugh I miss my truck.

Charlie shuffled through his pockets grabbing out keys to the car. "Here you go, kiddo. Should I wait up for you?" He sounded so concerned.

I wasn't sure what to say. I had no idea when I'd be getting home. "No dad, I might be home a little late."

Charlie understood. He didn't pry. I exited Charlie's home and made my way to the car departing to try and find jake. I figured his house in La Push was a good place to start. As I reached the end of my driveway I nearly ran over none-other than Alice Cullen. Ugh, queen of inconvenience lately. I stop at the end of the driveway nearly hitting her rock solid form. She wants to talk. I sighed. And rested my head on the steering wheel in defeat as she gracefully stepped into the passenger seat of my car, shutting the door softly next to her.

"We need to talk, Bella."

"Alice Cullen." I mumbled at my steering wheel, defeated.

"What is going on? Our futures have been going in and out since you arrived in Forks."

"I really don't have time to explain everything, just have your brother explain it to you," I said, holding the bridge of my nose, trying to remain composed.

"Is this really how it's going to be? Really, Bella? After everything we have been through?"

"Alice, are you on crack? You left me, alone." My voice cracked at the end and my throat started to get tight. I so did not want the waterworks right now. I couldn't look at her. "You really did me like that, Alice. I don't owe you anything. I don't mean anything to you."

"Bella, you were my sister. But Edward is my brother. At the time, leaving Forks seemed like the best way to keep you safe but we were so wrong."

I scoffed, "You have absolutely no idea. The Cullens leaving Forks was the absolute worst thing imaginable. I want to say you ruined my life. I want to say that you have destroyed me. But honestly, I was able to reinvent myself. You wouldn't understand this Alice, but I do the saving now. I save others, and I save myself."

It was quiet for a moment. "You're right Bella, I really don't understand what you're trying to say."

I picked my head up from the steering wheel and wiped a stray tear from my face. I was not going to turn into some blubbering mess. I sighed. "Alright, listen. I have to head to La Push. You can't come with me."

"What's happening?"

"Alice."

"Tell me."

"People are dead. Victoria came back with an army, and killed two people. People that are close to Jacob, and I need to be there for him."

She gasped. "Victoria?"

"Yes. She's dead now. I killed her. Threat has been handled."

"What? How? I don't understand."

"I wanna say I'm the hero, Alice, but how can I when two people are still dead? And it's our fault. It's my fault. It's my fault James is dead. If Edward hadn't killed him, this never would have happened."

"How did you kill Victoria?"

"Edward can catch you up on that. I'm sure you know all about his trip to Michigan."

Alice sighed and shook her head, "Edward hasn't spoken to us in weeks."

My eyebrows furrowed together, "What? What do you mean?"

"He went off on his own after we left."

"Sounds like a 'you' problem, then. Alice, I have to go. Jacob needs me. He is my friend, I'm sure you can imagine what it must be like to be a friend to someone?"

Her ice cold face somehow grew paler. "Bella, please. I want to make things right. I will do anything to make you forgive me."

I thought for a moment. "I need time. Give me space. Please get out of this car."

She sat there, contemplating, silently. She carefully opened the passenger side door and slipped out like a dog with its tail between its legs. Upon closing the door we made eye contact. Her eyes burned into mine. Filled with regret, genuine sadness. Forgiveness will just have to wait. I averted my eyes and began accelerating towards the reservation.

I let myself into Jacob's home. I shared a few words with Billy, Jacob's dad. He must've already known everything, the whole story.

"Is Jacob here?" I asked.

He nodded slightly, "He's in his room."

I began to make my way down the hall. Billy lifted his arm in an attempt to block me, "Bella, wait," I stopped, and Billy continued, "Be careful, he isn't doing well."

"I understand," I said quietly. Billy freed the path and I reached Jacob's door. I knocked quietly, and opened it before I heard any answer.

Before me was Jacob's modest room. His twin sized mattress pushed into the corner, and he lay in a fetal position facing the wall. I quietly closed the door behind me, without a word, I took a seat at the edge of his bed.

"I heard the news, Jake."

He moved slightly underneath his blanket and scoffed. "Everything has changed, Bella."

"I know." I said quietly.

In this position I am now remembering how young he truly is. His body is completely built, and he towers over me, but deep down, he's still a 16 year old boy being asked to lead. I can relate. He was chosen just like I was.

"This is all my fault."

I turned to him, "Jacob, none of this is your fault. How could it possibly be?"

I saw him shake his head and go face first into his pillow. "I don't know. It just is." he said, muffled.

It was quiet for a moment. I wasn't the best at coming up with what to say. But I've experienced enough loss. It gives me an idea of what is really needed in times like these. Not words, just people who are willing to sit with you in silence. I'm still working through my own losses.

"Is there room for me under that blanket?" I asked carefully, not trying to be inappropriate to his feelings.

"I don't want you to see me this way." He said through the pillow.

"Jake, what do you mean?"

"I can't be… strong right now."

"I'm not asking you to be strong."

He carefully moved closer to the wall, not facing me, and made room for me to lay next to him. I gently laid beside him under the blanket and wrapped my arms around him. His skin was so warm. Like he had a fever. It felt nearly comical, this five foot two girl, big spooning with this massive creature. But he needed someone.