Chapter 10

Maura, alone again, found herself torn and ashamed. This was not the kind of person she was. She delt in absolutes and facts. Quandaries, she solves, not becomes one. Puzzle pieces...what was she thinking? Jane was that piece. Jane was the missing middle or the final edge. Jane. So, then why did she refer to pieces as in plural? Jack and Ally? But they've been in her life for roughly a year or so...Jane, much longer than that. Maura cleaned her kitchen from the non-eaten breakfast that Jane made. With her stomach in knots, Maura couldn't eat or drink anything. Her mind replaying those final moments with Jane. Analyzing, dissecting...everything from slow motion to fast forwarding. Maura concluded that she was so out of character. Not herself at all, as if having an outer body experience. But she didn't believe in that stuff...did she?

She was so caught up with the lustful action of being with Jane, that it actually happened. That she, Maura Isles, sought out her prey and attacked with vigor, and enjoyed every minute with Jane. So, why torn? Mixed feelings? No. None, only that she did exactly what Angela warned her NOT, to hurt Jane. So, what's the stumbling block? Why did Maura say those things to Jane? Maura knew now, those other pieces didn't fit...never really did. So, this was it. The dive into the deep end. Maura had to move forward. She reached for her phone, about to make a bold decision, when she received an incoming email.

Maura opened it to find that the Isle's Gala for New Years was cancelled due to the snow storm, street closures and flights grounded. She was somewhat relieved. After her interlude with Jane, Maura was in no mood for her other obligations.

Maura decided to regroup, get cleaned up and then call Jack. After her shower, she couldn't think of anything or anyone other than Jane. How was she going to fix this? The look on Jane's face when she told her to leave...she was so broken...upset. Maura wasn't built to cause pain, but yet here she did, and she will inflict more with this phone call to Jack. Perhaps she was a lot like her father, Paddy Doyle. Ok...too much analyzing! Another chime from her phone broke her brainstorming.

Jack had requested face time. Shit this was going to be difficult, but it needed to be done. So here we go!

"Maura, hey so happy to see you! I feel as though I've been away on a conference or an expedition! Your beautiful face warms my heart!"

"Jack, hello...yes, we need to talk."

"Are you alright?" Jack was confused and alarmed.

"Yes...well no...yes...well the power went out yesterday and uhm..."

"Oh, did you use the backup generator I bought?"

"Uhm...no need. No. Everything's ok. It was just out for the night."

"You must have been cold, no power, the furnace was out then. Maura, I'm sorry I'm not there."

"No...no, it's alright, Jane came over last night."

"Jane?"

"Yes, she's back home for New Year's as Angela is having the family over."

"Yeah...right. She made it in ok?"

"She arrived before the snowstorm. Yes."

"OK, well then that's good you weren't alone."

"Yes. She was helpful with starting up the fireplace...although I'm very self-sufficient, I don't know why people keep thinking otherwise."

"Yes, Maura, I know, I didn't mean that. It's just nice to have someone around in situations like that. Can be scary."

"I understand Jack, but I've been through worse."

"I know honey...I'm just saying..."

"Jack?"

"Yes Maura."

Maura looked away from Jack trying to gather her confidence with what she was about to say next.

"Jack...I've been having mixed feelings."

Jack's concerned expression shook Maura. He cut to the chase and fired off some possibilities.

"With the venue? The catering? The seating chart? The flowers? The music? Oh no...not the cake...it's the cake, right?

Dear God, lives will be altered within this next moment and like a twisting, dip diving rollercoaster off the rails we go!

"No Jack...all of it."

"Wait...what, come again?" Jack's face went pale and his eyes bugged out, then his brow shriveled with the question.

Maura swallowed, then became professional...Dr. Isles took over.

"Jack, mixed feelings as in the wedding's off. I can't marry you. I apologize for the inconvenience, but..."

"BUT...WHAT? You don't love me anymore? You fell out of love with me, or you NEVER loved me?"

"Jack...I can't."

"Can't answer...Maura? I don't believe this!"

Both parties were quiet. Jack brought his hands to his face cover his eyes. Maura saw this and assumed he was crying.

"Jack...I'm sorry to have hurt you, but before we go any further, I need to be honest."

With a broken voice Jack replied, "Oh, sure, please do so, because I've believed everything from you and about you...until now! Honest?! Jesus, Maura...I don't think I can take it. I love you! What's changed?"

"I'm trying to tell you without hurting you more."

"Well...Maura, we're beyond that now. It's inevitable." Jack added defeated.

"I did enjoy our companionship...relationship, and did love you at some point, but no, not anymore, and I've realized that I can't change or overcome my feelings for someone else, for the sake of saving this relationship because, well, I just can't. I love them too much."

"STOP! Stop, Maura, I can't. It's Jane. I know you kept telling me that love is fluid or your love is fluid, or whatever, and the way you two are together despite her moving away...damnit, I thought that solved all my worries. I thought I could be all you ever needed and wanted, even in your kimono."

They both looked at each other and knew things were going to be alright and shared a brief chuckle at that.

"Jack, I am truly sorry."

"You know Maura, it's not ok and I'm not ok at the moment, actually I'm busted...but I'll be ok somehow. I've got Ally and well...I'll manage. You're special Maura. You're the whole package and it's difficult to let someone like you go."

"I appreciate that Jack. And you're a catch too...just not for me and someone else will see that and I don't want to inhibit that opportunity for you."

"Yeah...well, Jane better realize what and who you are, Maura Isles. I guess this is it. This snowstorm was a bad omen for me."

"Jack, you're a good guy. I'll send you back the ring."

"We'll work something out when I get my stuff from your house. I can't believe I'm letting you go like this."

"It's for the best, Jack."

"Well...Happy New Year, Maura."

"Happy New Year, Jack."

The call ended. The engagement off. No wedding in sight. Maura closed her eyes and gained some peace.

A/N: Hello all! Much apologies for the wait. Wow this chapter was apology driven, along with my own! I've been working on another story for our ladies that invaded my brain and took hostage, so be sure to review, like and follow me, darlings! Stay healthy and well. This was a short chapter, I know but needed to move the story along.