AN: I made up a lot of stuff in this chapter about Gajeel's past, mainly because we don't know how he ended up with Phantom Lord and because I wanted to explain who Jose had murdered and why. I hope you like it and I added some fluff for Levy x Gajeel fans.
Also to my faithful readers who have been waiting for this story to come off hiatus go back to the first chapter and re read the whole story. I have edited the entire book and changed several scenes. The plot remains the same but I changed a lot of the scenes and added in some other parts.
Chapter seventeen
When Lucy and Juvia arrived home she found her home clean, almost too clean. Then she found a whole bunch of trash outside and she giggled to herself. It seemed that even though they spent the weekend apart they still thought amongst the same lines. She was just glad that he managed to clean up their mess. In fact, she was actually surprised that they managed to do such a good job.
Natsu agreed that they needed some time apart now and then, not all the time. He missed having her sleeping by his side but a day out now and then would do them some good. He even proposed that he take Wendy one weekend for some father daughter bonding. He wanted to take her fishing just the two of them and maybe the exceeds if they wanted to come.
He had spent many days sitting next to Gildarts by the river as he grew up and had questions or sometimes they just spoke about life. He thought it would be a good place to build a good relationship with his daughter as more than just her trainer. As she got older he wanted her to be able to come to him about anything to know that he would stand by her no matter where her life led her.
A couple days later Jude Heartfilia came to the guild once more, this time he wasn't covered in blood and technically starting guild wars. He came to explain to Lucy what was inside the box and why he had sent it to the guild. He felt that since the guild had gone to war because of his actions they deserved to know what happened.
Lucy was sitting in the guild, with most of the guild gathering around to listen to his explanation.
"When I started getting involved with the Magic Council I found many things that were being overlooked and I decided to look deeper into what was going on. Several guards were being paid off and most of them were minor things however I found something odd about Jose. I admit at first the only reason I looked so deeply into him was because he was so vocal of his dislike for Fairy Tail. I never expected to find something so damaging or that he would become so desperate to keep his secret."
Jude took a deep breath, ignoring the looks of confusion on everyone's face, "Before Jose could become guild master he spent a lot of his time searching for new recruits however something wasn't right about his recruitment of Gajeel Redfox so I started digging into his history. I found out that Gajeel had been found by a village girl wandering the forest after his father had disappeared. He ended up protecting the village for a while in return for food. The girl's name was Sakura and as far as I know she let him sleep in her home and generally took care of him."
He placed a picture of a beautiful young girl with chestnut brown hair and green eyes. She looked young about sixteen years or so but her smile was full of warmth. "This woman was found murdered and no one ever knew who killed her. She was apparently strangled to death and tossed into a river.
"Shortly after her death Gajeel abandoned the village and joined Jose. I found out that Jose had approached Gajeel about joining his guild but he was turned down because he didn't want to leave the girl that found him however Jose knew he was a dragon slayer so he killed Sakura and ensured that Gajeel wouldn't have a reason to turn him down again."
Lucy was stunned and horrified. No one ever knew much about Gajeel or his past. He once mentioned that his dragon left him and he was found by Jose but he never mentioned the girl in the picture or the village. She supposed that if he ever revisited that part of his past he must have done so with someone that he deeply trusted. Maybe it had been Levy or maybe he had buried it within his mind and never thought of it again.
Her thoughts were interrupted by an iron pole going through the table and Gajeel snatched the picture before anyone could stop, "Ya tellin' me that Jose did this coz he wanted me to join him?"
The guild was stunned, no one ever heard him sound so soft. Gajeel's voice was rough, hell everything about him was rough but when he spoke of the girl in the picture. When he held the picture everything that he did screamed tenderness. It was almost like he didn't want to damage the picture or speak too loudly and scare someone which was even more odd because he liked it when people jumped out of his way.
Jude merely nodded his head, "After you joined the guild, about two years later he was made guild master and another year later he joined the ranks of the Wizard Saints. However it was well-known that 'Black Steel Gajeel had become Jose's Ace in Phantom Lord."
Gajeel caressed the picture, "Can I keep this?"
"Yes you can." Replied Jude.
The man honestly didn't have a reason to keep it and it seemed that to Gajeel it was obviously something incredibly special. It would probably mean a whole lot more to him and so without another word, Gajeel walked out of the guild, taking the picture with him seemingly lost in thought.
Lucy elbowed Levy and gestured to her to follow him and the bluenette looked at her friend like she had lost her bloody mind. Lucy rolled her eyes and said, "He needs someone and if I go near him Natsu might rip out his spine by reaching down throat and pulling. He's still kind of pissed and no one else here is really good with emotions."
Levy bit her lip which she often did when she was trying to figure something out. She couldn't help that little voice in her head telling her that Lucy was right and looking around she knew none of the Fairy Tail men knew a damn thing about emotions. The girls in the guild weren't much better although she really didn't think she had the right to intrude on an obviously intimate moment for Gajeel.
Lucy gave her one last push when she saw that Levy was torn, "He is family now Levy and we take care of our own."
Levy groaned knowing that now she didn't have much of a choice anymore. She got up slowly, making sure Jet and Droy were busy and wouldn't follow her out of the guild. Levy headed in the general direction that she saw him walk in.
She found him in the woods near the place that they all once met Lucy and it felt like a lifetime ago that that had happened. Honestly, Lucy fit in so well with the guild that it was hard to remember the time that she wasn't part here.
Gajeel was still staring at the picture and she knew that he heard her coming, "She didn't deserve to die. She was kind and good and he killed her so he could use me as a weapon and I let him. I was so stupid that I might have killed her myself."
Levy didn't know what to say but then again what could she say? Jose was someone that Gajeel had trusted after he lost someone that cared about him. Technically Gajeel had lost his father and then he lost this girl that seemed to have taken him in and gave him a home when he already lost everything once before.
Jose killed her all because he wanted a dragon slayer in his guild. He wanted a powerful user of lost magic and in his selfishness to ensure that power was used for his benefit he had killed an innocent girl. A girl who had done nothing wrong. Levy couldn't imagine someone being that selfish and she couldn't help but wonder what type of person Gajeel would have been if he had stayed with someone who had actually cared about him.
"No one deserves to die and I don't think it was your fault. Jose is the one who made the choice to hurt her not you and you didn't know what he did."
Levy winced in her head because that didn't really help anything and then she wondered why she was so set on helping him. She only came out here because Lucy told her to come but at the same time, looking at him now this wasn't that monster who attacked her in the park. This was a boy who had been lied too and manipulated and he was lost. She couldn't find it in herself to be mad at him, hell she couldn't find it in herself to fear him either not when he seemed so broken.
"Jose told me that she died because I was too weak to protect her. He said that he would be able to make me strong so I went with him to get strong. He promised to make me strong enough that I would never lose anyone ever again and now I find out that he was the reason she died."
Levy could hear the anger in his voice but there was also hopelessness as well. He didn't know what to do anymore so Levy sat down on the ground behind him and did the only thing she could do for him.
"Tell me about her." Levy commanded him and Gajeel laughed.
The little bluenette had fire he could admit that, ordering him around but at the same time he finally allowed himself to remember. He finally remembered Sakura and all the good things that he had known when he knew her.
She liked to sing in the mornings and she had the voice of an angel. He would listen to her gentle voice for what seemed like hours sometimes. She was always kind to everyone she met. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. She was teaching him about kindness and compassion and empathy and once she was gone all the things she had taught him had been buried.
Jose had told him that all those emotions had made her weak and those who were weak were killed so he would be taught to be strong. However even in the depths of his mind he had never thought of her as weak. He thought she was as strong as Metalicana because she struggled but she still smiled. She was alone with no parents but she was still kind. She was able to give happiness and care to someone she didn't even know.
He didn't know how someone who had so little could care so much about others. He had turned his heart to stone and allowed bitterness to consume his heart. He was ashamed now thinking of who he had become. She would have been so disappointed. She never would have wanted the life that he had chosen for himself. He thought that she would have been proud that he was strong but now he had no bloody idea of anything anymore. He didn't even recognize himself.
"I really didn't want Jose to lose to Fairy Tail, because I knew that if he lost then everything that he ever told me would be proven wrong and then where would I be? Who am I now that I know that Jose murdered the closest thing to a mother I ever had? I protected him, followed him, learned from him, trusted him and in the end he was the one who had taken her from me."
Levy didn't think that there was anything that she could to say him that would make this better. Gajeel had been betrayed by someone he once thought he could trust and he had someone very dear to his heart stolen from all because of greed so all she offered him was silent company.
She listened as he raged, as he cried and as he cursed but she didn't once think of leaving. She wouldn't leave him to face this all on his own once he was done mourning for all that he had lost he would turn and see her waiting for him to come to her so that she could take him home, to Fairy Tail.
Lisanna heard Lucy urge Levy to go to Gajeel and they never returned to the guild. Natsu told her that Gajeel and Levy were going home. He assured her that they were both fine, emotionally drained but they were alright. Lisanna had come to terms with the fact that Natsu would never be hers but she still couldn't find it in herself to befriend Lucy.
She knew it was petty and God help her she knew that she was being bloody ridiculous but at the moment she couldn't help the bitterness that was encased in her heart. Natsu had been by her side for many years. She had been there when he happy, sad, lonely and everything in between and then one day he just up and disappeared.
Happy had appeared saying that Natsu had taken off and when he came back he acted strange and distant and then he was just gone. When Elfman lost his mind and was probably about to kill her he appeared out of thin air and saved her. She had thought of him like a knight in shining armor.
It was in that moment that she knew that she cared for him, that her feeling ran deeper than just normal friendship. Lisanna never had the chance to even tell him because the blonde woman was suddenly just there as well. She was could almost physically feel him pulling away from her.
Time passed and she grew used of Natsu not being around and not being the center of his universe but at the same time she still missed him. As she saw him playing the part of a father and husband, the more she wished that she was the woman that he was so in love with. It was everything that she had ever hoped it would be and it was being given to someone else.
Lucy had appeared out of no-where and she had stolen Natsu from her. She knew what Mira and Bisca and Levy were saying and in her head she knew that they were right. That it wasn't their choice who he loved and how he ended up with her just that he had made his choice and it was time to get over him. She had slowly come to terms that the amazing man that Natsu was, did not belong to her and she would never get the chance to be with him but it hurt.
It still didn't change the fact that she was bitter and she couldn't blame Natsu. She never asked him to make her any promises and she didn't want to lose his friendship. She couldn't blame Natsu and she needed someone to blame so the only person left was Lucy. She didn't want to befriend her and she didn't want to like her. Lisanna also knew that Mira was picking up on her dislike to the blonde woman and she had no reason to dislike her other than pettiness.
"Lis, are you alright?" asked Mira and Lisanna shut her eyes and wanted to hide under her blankets. Mira wanted answers and she didn't think she had the energy to lie to her big sister and tell her that everything was alright. She wanted to let out all the anger and bitterness that she was carrying in her heart and she didn't know if Mira would ever forgive her if she knew her true thoughts.
"You know I noticed that you stay far away from Lucy but you talk to Natsu and Wendy. Today when Lucy told Levy to go to Gajeel, you were frowning so do you want to tell me whats really on your mind?"
Lisanna just buried herself deeper into the covers, "You'll hate me." She muttered and Mira just sighed.
"For being human and not being all buddy buddy with the person who married your first love?"
The way Mira said made Lisanna feel stupid for thinking that her sister wouldn't understand. Mira always understood. She loved her siblings and she always tried to understand them and make them feel comfortable with who they were and what they were feeling. She would never turn on them.
"I hate her. I hate that she's friends with everyone. That everyone treats her like a little sister or daughter. I hate that she's powerful enough to go toe to toe with Erza and I hate that Natsu loves her and I hate myself for feeling all of this." Cried Lisanna as everything just came tumbling out of her mouth and she couldn't stop the tears.
Mira gathered her sister in arms and let her cry, "I hate that I hate her. That I feel awful every time I see Natsu so happy with her. I hate the fact that I'm jealous that she somehow had everything that I ever wanted and I don't even know how she took it all."
Mira just sighed, jealousy was an ugly hateful hurtful thing and there was nothing she could do here. Lisanna was heartbroken and she couldn't help her feelings. As much as Fairy Tail boasted about being a family there was the fact that they were still human.
They hated, lusted, and got jealous and possessive. They always put the happiness of their nakama before their own and tried to be better. They tried to make sure that the negative feelings didn't linger. They sought to rise above their feelings but it didn't help the fact that it still hurt and it took time to overcome some emotions.
"Maybe you should leave for a while Lisanna." Said a voice from the doorway.
Both girls turned shocked to see Elfman standing in the doorway of her room and looking at her sadly. Neither girl knew how long he had been standing there but it was obvious that he had been listening for quite some time now.
Mira immediately turned on him, "You aren't serious are you? Being a little jealous isn't a good enough reason to kick our sister out of the house Elfman."
The big man rolled his eyes at her even though she had the steely glint in her eyes that usually showed up before someone got a beat down.
"I didn't mean to throw her out Mira. I meant a journey of self-discovery, time away to heal her broken heart and maybe give her time to fall in love again."
Lisanna looked at Elfman like he lost his mind when he simply shook his head and joined his siblings on the bed and gathered Lisanna in his arms.
"Natsu is a person who makes decisions and he stands by them so when he decided that he was ready to get married to Lucy nothing would ever change his mind. However us normal people we like to enjoy our youth by falling in love more than once. That's the purpose of dating Lisanna. It also helps with growth. Love is a wonderful thing and you are a wonderful girl who deserves to be loved but you're also young. You deserve the chance to meet different people and figure out who you want to be with. The world is a lot bigger than just our guild and there are a lot of different people in the world. You should go out and meet them."
Mira hated to admit it but Elfman did have a point. She had met so many different people and mages when she went on missions. A lot of the men that she met, turned her off and showed her what she didn't want in a partner and she supposed that Lisanna had been so focused on Natsu that she never actually took a look at her options.
"It sounds like a good idea Lisanna. We all went on training missions but you deserve the chance to explore the world on your own and figure yourself out. Give yourself some time and distance to heal from your first heartbreak."
Lisanna didn't want to leave her siblings behind but at the same time she couldn't help but feel like she really needed this. She didn't want to be this hateful person that couldn't get past this. She wanted to be happy again and if that meant taking a break from everyone and figuring herself out. She wouldn't have to pretend like everything was okay for a while then that's what she was going to do. She supposed that was another reason why she was so tired and unhappy all the time, because she didn't want anyone to know that she was miserable.
She needed some time to wallow in self-pity and then she needed to put the pieces of herself back together because this behavior was ridiculous. She had been one of the girls that laughed at the other girls who let a guy ruin them.
Now looking in the mirror she couldn't even recognize herself. She was doing exactly what she laughed at other girls for doing when they were heartbroken. She had accepted the fact that Natsu wasn't hers and she was drowning in the fact the she would never have him and she didn't want to be this person. The person that breaks because she didn't get the guy, the bitter girl who couldn't get past her first love.
She needed to let herself cry through the pain and let the anger out and then she needed to build up her self-confidence and she knew just the person to do it with. Cana had gotten back from her jobs with her father. Lisanna knew that she was looking or a break from their father-daughter time so who better to go on a journey of self-discovery than with the Queen of Parties.
Cana would be understanding and happy to help her find herself without judging. Cana was well-known for the fact that she wouldn't judge anyone for anything so she would make the perfect partner in crime. She would also kick her in the ass and give her some much needed strength. Self-pity was fine and good but only if you were going to fix yourself once you were done wallowing.
That night, Lisanna slept in peace because for the first time in a really long time she finally had some direction in her life and the pit of bitterness in her stomach didn't seem so endless anymore.