Chapter 20 - New Understanding
There being no way to casually ease into a conversation that started off like that, Draco and Hermione opted to get more comfortable before they started talking about it. Leading Hermione to the upstairs of the lakehouse, Draco directed her to one of the many guestrooms and suggested that she change into some dry clothes, as he was planning to. Besides both of them soaking wet from being in the lake, they both smelled faintly of weeds, algae and whatever else had been in the lake, so a shower was in store for each of them as well.
Hermione almost didn't mind or notice the snake-shaped taps in the bathroom as she stripped and stepped into the shower stall, taking her first proper self-cleaning session in what felt like...Merlin, forever! A small part of her actually felt guilty at such unexpected luxury when Harry was alone and unguarded out in the woods, but it wasn't enough to stop her enjoying the scented soaps and actual shampoo that the Malfoy lakehouse provided. She might even have complimented the tastes of Draco's family if only it didn't feel completely awkward to do so.
Rich purebloods, remember, Hermione? And while Draco may be different, don't let that give you any illusions that his family is. After all, even now, they were just waiting to talk about his crazy muggleborn-hating aunt; there was hardly much to make her feel welcome. But still, when it was just her and Draco alone like this, there was something rightly tolerable about it, snake imagery or not. And being with Draco alone, practically cuddling downstairs as they had been—
Merlin, no! We were not cuddling! Get that wording out of your head, Hermione Granger, and stop making things worse for yourself! Goodness, this goes beyond getting ahead of yourself, it's...
It was wishful thinking and she knew it. She had liked it when Draco held her close like that, even tired, cold, and rattled as they had both been. It was a moment of closeness, of yet more of that physical contact that she now found herself craving, and, reliving the moment in her head, Hermione couldn't find anything odd or out of place about it. It had felt natural to be not quite held in Draco's arms like that and she wouldn't have minded if he'd held her even closer.
No, she wouldn't have minded that at all...
Shutting off the tap and stepping out into a soft, white towel, Hermione emerged from the bathroom freshly cleaned. Stepping into the closet—big enough to be a walk-in and even contain a boudoir chair, of course—she looked around at a selection of clothes that, apart from being expensive in taste, were mostly in shades of black of dark green. Of course.
Managing to find a light grey casual dress of knee-length, long sleeves, and woolen material with buttons down the front, Hermione decided that it would suit her, and set it on the bed while she went to the bathroom to dry her hair. Using her wand for the job, she also made sure to keep her hair in check, the curls not spiraling out of control as they had used to.
Once done with that, she finally got dressed and headed downstairs, where Draco was already waiting on the couch. During the time that she had admittedly spent pampering herself, he had quickly washed and dressed—a dark grey suit that, of course, was tailored to him perfectly—and then come downstairs to clean the floor of the water and even a bit of blood that they had brought in. Then, that done, he had lit the fireplace and had two apple ciders waiting on the table. It had been a close impulse for him to prepare something to eat as well, but then, considering what they would be discussing about his Aunt Bellatrix of all people, he doubted that either of them would be able to hold anything down.
He looked up as Hermione approached down the staircase, wearing a dress from one of the many selections of clothes that his mother always kept around but never seemed to wear. It should...not look as good on her as it did, but Draco found himself staring at the way the thicker material hugged at Hermione's natural curves, making her look much more a grown woman than a Hogwarts student. She...was undoubtedly attractive to any young man with a right mind in his head, and Draco was nothing if not holding on to sanity by noticing these little details. Just how attractive though, well...
Clearing his throat, Draco gestured for Hermione to sit down beside him, which she did after carrying the bag of her wet clothes over to the doorway. Setting her wand down on the table next to where Draco had put his, she took a seat and immediately reached for the apple cider, taking a sip for courage more than thirst. What she had to say couldn't wait though, so she didn't plan on stalling.
"What I have to say you can't discuss with anyone, not anyone, Draco," she began, turning to look at him. "I'm trusting you with this as I would my life, and after today, I think you deserve to know..."
Draco swallowed, taking in the importance of the moment, but as a response he only gave one sure nod.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione finally divulged the entire truth about everything that she and Harry (and Ron) had been doing for the past several months, starting with descriptions of what horcruxes were and what their purpose was. Even before mentioning Dumbledore's role in everything and what progress they had already made though, Draco was already visibly taken aback, and so she paused and let the information sink in, knowing that it wasn't easy for anyone to grasp the first time.
Even through what little Hermione had told him though, Draco had already drawn a few conclusions, and not any of them were pleasant. Making the connection to the Dark Lord and his involvement with horcruxes was easy, as it fit in with everything he did, everything he was. It went beyond being just evil though, but strayed into what was utterly unnatural, much like how the Dark Lord himself physically resembled a serpent more than a man now. Sometimes he even acted more like a beast than a man, his actions utterly unpredictable. Draco had known many causes to fear him, but this was just another one added on top of those. For a wizard to split his own soul into multiple pieces and store them away in physical objects so that he could, in essence, never die, was just...
And to think that's the wizard we've gotten on the wrong side of, Draco thought, of course in reference to his family's admittedly multiple failures to comply to the Dark Lord's will recently. Starting with his father's failure at the Department of Mysteries and culminating in his own failure to kill Dumbledore, Draco knew that it was only a matter of time before they were punished for it worse than they already had been. The Dark Lord never forgave and he most certainly never forgot...
This entire time, that's what Potter's been up against, what he's had inside his head! Merlin's beard, and all this time I haven't given him any credit! It was from that moment on that Draco, besides his obvious friendship with Hermione prompting him, decided that he would never underestimate or belittle Harry Potter again. Not only did he not deserve it, but the level at which he was constantly fighting, the things he constantly had to deal with...
Draco knew he could never compete and in fact felt foolish when thinking of the times he had tried to in the past.
As for his more immediate response to what Hermione was telling him though, he took it as she revealed it and nodded his understanding. "So the Dark Lord's definitely made some of these horcruxes," he repeated. "And...you and Potter are sure they exist?" It was less of a question and more of a statement, as only the affirmative of that could be possible based on what they knew.
Hermione nodded. There was much more to be said, of course, but she hesitated to continue as...in order to tell the full story, she would have to touch upon more than a fair share of topics that would be sensitive to Draco—especially as they related to his family. Wanting to keep him close and alongside her in the course that the discussion would take though, and to prevent him withdrawing into himself at what she was about to reveal, Hermione reached out and clasped his hand in her own. Draco glanced down in mild surprise at the action, but then squeezed her hand tightly to assure her of his willingness to continue, and then left their fingers intertwined as Hermione continued to speak.
"The first horcrux that we discovered and confirmed is—was Tom Riddle's diary in second year," she began, noting how already Draco had tensed at the mention of that, clearly sensing where things were going. "Harry faced the memory of Riddle then in the Chamber of Secrets and destroyed the diary by stabbing it with a basilisk fang," she continued. "Obviously, the venom of the basilisk is one of the few things that can destroy a horcrux, and therefore Riddle's memory with it. That was the first time that even Dumbledore became aware of their existence, the first time a horcrux made itself known to Harry."
Draco swallowed the lump in his throat that, despite his best efforts, he hadn't been able to hold back. Turning away from Hermione but unable to let go of her hand, he stared into the flames of the fireplace and then asked in a low voice, "And that diary...it was given to Ginny Weasley by my father, wasn't it? Meaning that my father owned a horcrux all these years and then willingly tried to use it to kill Potter before the Dark Lord even returned."
Hermione's brow furrowed in worry at the darkening of both his expression and his tone. Draco looked so bitter, so tormented by that simple fact alone, that Hermione knew no assurances she could give would change his feelings regarding what had happened and could ultimately not be changed. And, though she imagined it, he also looked somewhat remorseful and ashamed for what his father had done, for what his entire family had been privy to for many years. He hadn't had any choice in the matter or played a part in most of it, but still...Draco's past hung over him just as surely now as it had when they'd first met. There was nothing she could change now, but still, over time perhaps...
For a moment, all Hermione could do was hold his hand, and then with her other hand she reached up and touched his forearm, right over where the Dark Mark was permanently etched onto his skin. A corner of Draco's mouth twitched slightly at that, but he made no moves away from her. His body was tense and he still wouldn't look at her, but Hermione wouldn't, couldn't leave him alone in his own pain. Not this time, not ever again.
"Draco," she breathed softly, to which the only indication that he'd heard her was a slight tilt of his head. Inhaling deeply—and a bit distracted for the moment by the soothing, musky scent that Draco had applied after taking his shower—Hermione pressed on with what she planned to say. "You said yourself earlier on today regarding the sheath that...it's over. What's done is done and can't be changed. I know that what you are and aren't responsible for doesn't have a bearing on how you're feeling right now, but I want you to know that there's no use in carrying it with you. It'll only hold you back, Draco, as it's been holding you back for far too long. Sooner or later, you've got to let go of the past in order to move forward.
"You've already proven so much to me that I didn't think was possible before, about you. I didn't know what to think of your actions before or what to judge you on when you let me go that first time, but your actions since then showcase who you are, and that person isn't defined by his past or his family. It's that person, you, Draco Malfoy, whom I've come to befriend. I wasn't thinking of your past or your connections or even the Dark Mark itself when I agreed to meet with you privately since this first began; I was thinking of you and I knew then as I do now that you're someone I can trust, someone I can rely on. More than anything, that's why I'm telling you these things now, why I've decided to share with you what is not even my secret, but what can and will change the Wizarding World.
"I know I'm not wrong, so you've got to be alongside me in this, Draco. That's the only way we can move on—together." And Merlin knew that from her own experiences of getting past all the bullying and belittling she had endured even before Hogwarts, it was only through the support of friends that she could truly accept herself as she was, regardless of all doubts. From the beginning, it was clear that Draco could use such a person in his life; if he would let her, Hermione found that she wanted more than anything to be that person.
Draco heard all of what she said and, without meaning to, his heart responded in pure baffled joy at all of it. It was what he had been craving more than anything, much as he hadn't been able to admit it: someone to accept not only who he was in all his imperfections, his family, his past, even the Dark Mark itself, but...someone who would help and encourage him to be who he could be, someone good and wholesome and...deserving of someone like Hermione. It was the fulfillment of desires he had never allowed himself to have, a future he had never allowed himself to contemplate—and because it was being offered by Hermione, who because of all of the above things had more reason to hate him than practically anyone else, it was all the more valid to even Draco's doubtful mind.
He wanted it. He wanted everything she had to offer. And more...
Draco couldn't help looking back at her, and then noting how startled she was at the intensity of his look, the complete focus and fixation on her. But, to his immense relief, she wasn't scared by it and didn't recoil. Instead, as he placed his other hand over hers where it rested on his Dark Mark, she only leaned closer, and this more than anything spurred his final response:
"I want you alongside me, Hermione. Stay with me, and I know it can happen. All of what you said...it will happen if you stay with me."
He made it sound like a condition to a binding agreement, but there was no mistaking the desire in his eyes, almost to the point of desperation. He needed this, and Hermione wasn't distracted by anything from the realization that this was Draco Malfoy baring his soul to her, in essence passing it into her hands and trusting her not to crush it.
She had never felt more important in her life, nor more excited. Even her breathing had quickened and her heart was beating rapidly inside her chest, the sound of it pounding in Hermione's ears. She wanted to accept it, accept him. And right now, nothing seemed more important than proving that to him.
Keeping her eyes locked on his, Hermione undid the cuff links at the wrist of his left hand. Draco's breath hitched as he realized what she was doing, but he made no move to stop her. Instead, he watched in fascination as Hermione rolled up his sleeve, fully revealing the Dark Mark, and then raised his hand to her cheek, until both were clearly visible to him, side by side. Her eyes focused on his, Hermione leaned into his touch, closing her eyes in complete and utter trust of him.
"Draco..." she murmured in a low voice that shot straight through him. "Of course I'll stay you."
And Merlin knows that Draco couldn't help his next reaction. So abruptly that hardly he or Hermione had time to react, he reached his hand behind her neck and pulled her to him, both arms wrapping around her in a tight hug that literally took her breath away. Burying his face in the dizzying array of curls on her head, Draco simply held Hermione in silence, all of his own body trembling slightly as the shock wore off from his system.
Hermione hesitated only long enough to situate her cheek comfortably against his chest near his throat, and then her arms wove around his torso as well, holding him to her. She didn't take into account how...er...perhaps inappropriate and sudden all of this was—her and Draco Malfoy in very much an intimate embrace. She didn't take into account her chest pressing against his or how his deep breaths were inhaling only her scent and not much else. She didn't even take into account the flushing of her cheeks and how she was starting to get hot in other places as well, most notably where his hands were on her back.
All that she could focus on for the moment was that Draco was giving himself over to her now and that, to an extent, she was reciprocating it just as much. They had ceased to be anything but two people who desperately craved the closeness of each other and, more than anything, reveled in that closeness and all it would provide. Hermione welcomed it and...
Wanted more.
All too soon though—in reality after a full five minutes had passed—Draco's shudders stopped and he let go of her, slowly and embarrassedly pulling away. Clearing his throat, he took a sip of his apple cider as an excuse to stop touching her—and he mentally kicked himself for it, to be sure—and Hermione, in her own embarrassment, hurriedly reached for her own to do the same.
Considering what had just passed between them, both were clearly reluctant to return to what they had been discussing before, but since it was the only thing that would get them back on track and give them some much needed time to reflect over things now and later on in private before...er...possibly bringing them up again, it was necessary.
"So then...that was the first horcrux," Draco commented after several minutes passed by in silence. It wasn't a tactful transition, perhaps, but he was never any good at those to begin with. "What was the second?"
"A ring," Hermione piped up right away, her go-to being to of course divulge information. "Marvolo Gaunt's ring, to be precise. The Gaunts are the family of You-Know-Who on his mother's side, and so naturally he would have acquired an heirloom from one of them. Because of its meaning to him, it also would have made an ideal horcrux. Dumbledore destroyed that one in sixth year, with what I now believe was the Sword of Gryffindor."
"The Sword of Gryffindor?" Draco's brow furrowed.
Hermione nodded, getting excited. "I only figured it out recently myself. You see, Harry used it to slay the basilisk in second year and thus it was coated in basilisk blood and venom. The sword is goblin-made, which means that it only takes in that which makes it stronger. Now, it is the one object that we know for sure can be used to destroy horcruxes!"
Draco had to admit that it was quite a breakthrough. However, something in what Hermione had said had caught his attention, and quite suddenly he looked over to where he had left the sheath against the wall. "Hermione, regarding that, you don't suppose that that might be the purpose for the sheath, do you?"
Hermione, quick to follow on his train of thought, gasped. "Merlin, then—"
Draco quickly stood up and grabbed the sheath, pushing it into her hands as he sat beside her again. "Take it."
Hermione looked down at it, completely stunned. "Draco, I don't think—"
"Oh, right! I'd have to lace it with basilisk venom, wouldn't I?" And for that he'd have to get into the Chamber of Secrets, in which case—
"Draco...er...I'm afraid that that's no longer an option..." Hermione cut in, deflated as she realized the truth of her own words. "It's been over four years since Harry killed the basilisk—there would no longer be any blood or venom left." After all, even in as damp and dark a place as the Chamber of Secrets, the basilisk was sure to be nothing but bones by now, or, er...petrified, or whatever it was that happened when a basilisk died.
Draco, for his part, was equally disappointed at the realization, as he had been hoping to kill two birds with one stone with his suggestion—both to help Hermione and to find a use for the sheath that he had worked so hard to get and nearly died for. It was a shame, but still didn't deter him in the least.
"Suppose I get the sword for you then?" he asked. "It's most likely still at Hogwarts, after all."
Hermione shook her head. "Much as that would help, I actually started this entire discussion with something else in mind."
Draco furrowed his brow in confusion. "You mean...my aunt?"
Hermione nodded. "You see, much of the dead ends that we've hit is with regards to figuring out what the horcruxes are and where we might find them," she explained. "After the ring, the third horcrux that we've found and actually have on us right now is the locket of Salazar Slytherin."
Draco's eyes widened. Obviously, he knew about the locket as one of the treasures of Slytherin House, and it made sense for the Dark Lord to make it into a horcrux, but how he obtained it in the first place and then how Potter of all people managed to obtain it was a complete mystery. Hermione's further explanation of how they got it at the ministry was nothing short of astounding for Draco, and once again he found himself giving grudging respect to Potter for how he had managed it.
Of course, he owed his success in no little degree to Hermione's planning, undoubtedly.
"So then, you have it now and have no way to destroy it," he observed, at the conclusion of Hermione's recap. "Isn't that more of a reason for why I should get the sword for you now, if I can?" For, as he figured it, the sword was most likely in Severus's possession, in which case, especially if he knew what it was for, he would have to hand it over, right?
But Draco didn't even get to voicing that plan before he figured out several things wrong with it. For one thing, Severus was making even something as minor—and it did seem so now, especially next to Potter's horcrux hunt—as the list as cryptic as possible, which meant that no way would he just hand over as valuable an item as the Sword of Gryffindor. It was anyone's guess whether the Dark Lord knew of its capabilities, or to what extent. And also, more importantly, Hermione had mentioned at the beginning that he was to discuss this with no one, and Draco had to respect the trust she expected of him in return for her own. Especially considering how much personal trust she was already giving him and what she had promised him in return, he instinctively knew that he wouldn't, absolutely wouldn't reveal something this important. For a pure instant of bravado, Draco felt that he could even undergo the Crutiatus Curse without breaking.
Not that he was willing to test that, though.
In any case, getting Hermione's permission to discuss it with Severus was equally out of the question as...well, she wouldn't believe that Severus was on their side, no matter what Draco said. Apart from not wanting to blow Severus's cover after the dark wizard had entrusted Draco with so much and done so much for him, it was also unlikely that he could convince Hermione that the wizard who had killed Albus Dumbledore was actually on their side. Severus had never said so directly, and so Draco might just be interpreting things on his own, but...
Well, in any case, involving Severus in any way was out. If he made any promises to secure the sword for her now, those would be actions taken at his own risk and probably involve him in all likelihood attempting to steal the sword out from under Severus's nose, which of course was impossible.
But wait, Hermione had said that there was something else she wanted to ask him for. Draco settled in to listen, fully attentive.
"Harry and I want to find more of the horcruxes before we start destroying them," Hermione said. "It's a miracle that Harry's been able to keep You-Know-Who out of his head and unaware of our actions so far, but all that will change once we start destroying horcruxes. He will feel it, Draco, and he will react. Already, it's hard enough trying to even come up with places where they might be hidden, but he'll be even more careful once he finds out what we're up to. As such, we agreed long ago that it's best to collect as many of the horcruxes as we can first, and then focus on destroying them later." She paused. "And besides, it's highly likely that one of the horcruxes is in Hogwarts itself, and we knew from the beginning that we'll have to go back there eventually. Once we do, we plan to find the horcrux and the sword both, but until then we have to keep looking."
Draco nodded. "And what is it you want to ask me for?" If it wasn't the sword or even the horcrux in Hogwarts—much as he'd like to try to get them both for Hermione—then what on earth did she expect?
Hermione swallowed—now came the hard part of what she had to say. "Going over what we know about the horcruxes we've found so far, we focused on the locations. The ring and the locket were both hidden in obscure places, something to do with You-Know-Who's past, but then there's the diary, that sort of breaks the pattern..."
"Because it was in my father's possession," Draco finished for her, unflinchingly to his credit.
Hermione nodded. "Yes. Now, we know that You-Know-Who won't trust just anyone with any of his secrets. I assume that no one among his followers know about the horcruxes?"
Draco emphatically shook his head. Even his father, he was certain, hadn't known what the diary was, precisely; if he had, then he certainly wouldn't have left it in Ginny Weasley's possession as easily as he did. Besides which, with something this big, undoubtedly one of the Dark Lord's followers would have said something by now, and for all that the Malfoy family had displeased him recently, they were still in the Dark Lord's inner circle. No, it was a safe bet that no one else knew about the horcruxes for now.
"However, that doesn't mean that he wouldn't have trusted one of his followers to at least hold on to a horcrux for him, simply as a precious item or heirloom of sorts," Hermione continued. "Especially if they would have had the means of keeping it safer than he could. So, going through the people we know of, there's only one person whom we think he would trust enough for something like that..."
"Aunt Bellatrix," Draco concluded. It was the logical answer he would have come to as well, had he needed to figure things out as Hermione did. But then, he already knew some of the things that had undoubtedly been so hard for her to figure out with literally almost nothing to go on; not for the first time, Draco was impressed by her intelligence and brilliance of deduction. Potter was truly lucky indeed to have her by his side...
And now you do too, Draco, he thought, willing himself to believe it even as a smaller voice within himself scoffed in derision that he had belittled himself to this extent, to find comfort and longing in Hermione Granger. Draco pushed the thought away.
"And you want me to try and get the horcrux from her?" he confirmed aloud.
Hermione bit her bottom lip nervously, for the first time looking away from Draco. "If I thought it would be dangerous for you, and maybe I'm wrong"—that must be a once-in-a-lifetime admission, Draco thought—"then I wouldn't ask it. But you have better chances than Harry or I could ever have, and since she's staying at Malfoy Manor now, that also seems the likely place to keep it and you would have access there."
Draco knew he wouldn't refuse her. It would be madness to accept and then even attempt going up against his aunt, but he knew he wouldn't refuse her.
"What would I be looking for?" he asked, reaching out and, tentatively, placing a finger under her chin and then turning her head so that she faced him again.
Hermione swallowed, easily blushing again at his simple touch despite the seriousness of the subject they were discussing. "Harry and Dumbledore speculated that another horcrux might the prized Cup of Hufflepuff. One heirloom from each house of Hogwarts, excepting of course Gryffindor since it's obviously not the sword..."
Draco nodded. "Hufflepuff's Cup. I'll do what research I can and look for it."
"At no risk to yourself though Draco, please," Hermione found herself whispering. This was of course in direct contrast to how she would have been willing to consider any risk for a chance at success, but...with how Draco was looking at her now, how he had so easily agreed to help her, she couldn't even fathom willingly sending him out to get hurt.
Draco, however, had no such squabbles, but he wasn't about to give her cause for more worry when there wasn't a need. He would consider putting himself at risk again even if she wouldn't, but first he had to be more sure of his odds before forming any type of plan.
"Hermione..." he murmured.
There was simply no more that had to be said though, so clear was his meaning through how he looked at her. And even though this early on Hermione already felt her worries rising up to the surface, she forced herself to push them down, focusing only on his determination and utter devotion to a mission that she had flung in his lap all at once. He understood the importance of it, no doubt about that, and, to the fullest extent, Hermione now recognized Draco as a secure ally. She had thought it before as well of course, but now that he knew everything...it was just more complete.
Draco Malfoy is now our ally. What will Harry think when I tell him...? she wondered.
Then, with a jolt that brought her out of what had become a rather long (but not uncomfortable) staring context with Draco, Hermione glanced towards the clock on the mantle and saw that she had stayed long enough at the lakehouse, and it was time to leave.
No. Her own thoughts and practically the heaviness of her body argued against that, but the logical part of Hermione's brain knew that she had left Harry alone, unguarded, and probably worried out of his mind for long enough. She had a lot of things to start telling him as soon as she got back, and all of it would doubtless take what little energy she had left.
Reluctance written in every line of her face, she slowly stood up and broke away from Draco's touch. Reaching for her wand, she headed for the door and her bag of clothes, Harry's Invisibility Cloak folded neatly alongside them. "We will meet again to discuss things," she said as she put on the cloak, recognizing that just talking over things via patronus wasn't enough anymore. For reasons that she willed herself not to delve into, she wanted to see Draco in person from now on and...
Merlin, and touch him, of all things!
Draco, hands in his pockets as he stood up and followed her, wanted the exact same thing, and radiated as much desire through his expression as well as how close he situated his body behind hers. Looking up at their reflections in the glass of the window, Hermione let out a breath at how close they looked—how right.
"We will," Draco echoed, his gaze locked on hers. "Consider it an open invitation to come here. I'll send my peacock when I have some news."
Even before that, Hermione wanted to say, but instead she just nodded. "If I can come up with anything that will help, I'll send you word," she said.
With no more of an exchange between them, and plenty of words unspoken in their looks alone, Hermione quickly disapparated before she could change her mind.
For both she and Draco had been dangerously close to lingering, neither to know what that would have led to...
A/N: Twenty chapters in and I thought, finally, let's get some romantic tension in there! This chapter was extremely fun to write, especially as I was also getting impatient to start us on the path of more than just friendship for these two. Since Hermione's revelation about the horcruxes would be the ultimate test of trust as far as friendship goes, I thus thought that it would be the perfect transition into more romantic feelings, so that's what I went with! Ahem, and perhaps the whole near-death experience thing also had something to do with it, but I like to think that it's a convenient combination of a number of things that have brought us to this point.
Ahem, please do continue to follow, favourite, and especially review, as those are all MAJOR encouragements to me and why I'm putting myself through this. Onward!