Chapter 12: Recollect and Develop

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. It belongs to Hideaki Anno, Gainax, and Tatsunoko Productions. I only own the characters I made up.

Yesterday was weird. Probably odd of me to say such a thing considering I fight aliens in a fictional universe, but I still stand by what I said.

You see, Nerv recently got these things called "simulation bodies" and wanted to test them out. I never got a good look of those things, but apparently they were supposed to be updated versions of the Evas we're currently using. At least, that's how I understood it. Anyway, Ritsuko, ever eager to experiment on something, had me and the other pilots enter the "simulation bodies". Before we could do that however, we were first stripped naked, put into a chamber to be attacked by shower-heads with the water set to the highest pressure (this was done twice), then put into entry plugs attached to the simulation bodies (while still naked by the way). After all that, me and the other pilots spent the next thirty minutes trying to synchronize with those "upgraded" Evas. It was a weird experience. When trying to get in sync, I felt like I was becoming lucid. Like the entire world was a dream, and I was beginning to wake up. Oh, and the entry plug smelt like burnt toast.

That's when things went wrong.

The emergency sirens went off and I could hear people over the radio freaking the fuck out! Last thing I hear was Ritsuko ordering the technicians to eject all the pilots' entry plugs. I felt a familiar pressure in my chest as my capsule flew out of the "simulation body", launched out of Nerv HQ, then land in a one of the many lakes surrounding the area. It was two hours before Nerv employees got me and the other pilots out of our entry plugs. That was literally all that happened that day.

Like I said, it was weird.

Anyway, due to whatever happened in the Geofront, everyone (except the technicians and engineers) were allowed to take a break for a day. Which explains why Misato is with me this Saturday in a music store.

The reason we're in a music store is because we're searching for an acoustic guitar. And the reason for that is. . .well. . .I kinda entered my school's talent show. That's right, I entered a talent show. I'm surprised myself. Never thought I'd be doing something like that again.

The store is pretty large. It's separated into several sections, making the place look all organized. The place also reeks of old cigarettes and alcohol, so I don't necessarily want to stay here long. Anyway, Misato and I went into the part of the store which had a ton of instruments out in the open, begging for people to play them. Every time we came across an instrument (mainly a piano or drums) we would spend the next few minutes messing around with them. Eventually, we came across the guitar section and started exploring the area. Each of us scan the stringed instruments hanging from racks, searching for the perfect one. And by "perfect", I mean cheap. Still, the thing needs to not be total crap, despite its cheapness.

"Hm. These things sure cost a lot," Misato comments while staring at one of the guitars. Her tone shows she's in a somewhat somber mood.

I laugh slightly. "Don't worry Major. I'll make sure the thing isn't too expensive."

She gives me an annoyed look then lets out a sigh. She returns her attention to the guitars. "Still surprised you know how to play one of these things."

I pick up one of the instruments, inspecting both the condition and the price. "Yeah, I can play. But it's not that big a deal. I only know a few chords and can only play a handful of songs. I'm average at best." I return the guitar I was holding, seeing as it was too expensive.

Misato laughs. "You're always downplaying yourself."

I shrug in response.

We continue searching the store for a bit. Eventually, I come across a guitar which might be the one I'm looking for. The instrument looks exactly like the one I had back in my original home. It has a black fretboard and a tan body with the word "Yamaha" printed on the instrument's head. Upon closer inspection, parts of the guitar has been chipped off, and the body has small scratches on it. Just like the one I use to have.

The condition of the instrument probably means it's cheap. Finding the price tag confirms my theory. Taking the guitar off the rack, I find a nearby stool, sit in it, and strum the strings for a bit. The thing's slightly out of tune, but the sound it makes brings a smile to my face.

"Think I found it," I tell Misato while presenting the guitar.

"Great, though you should test it out before we decide on buying it," she produces a mischievous grin. "How about playing me something."

I deadpan. "What?"

"Come on, don't look at me like that," she teases.

"I'm not playing in here," I state.

"Aww, why not?" she mock pouts. "I'll be good practice."

"Because I don't want to," I respond. "Besides, I'll practice once we bring this thing home."

"Don't tell me you're nervous," she once again teases which is slightly annoying. "You're going to be playing in front of an entire school, so playing one song here shouldn't be a big deal."

I pause for a moment.

"I haven't played in a while," I admit. "So I want to get some practice in, privately."

"Come on Mikey. Pleeeease," the Major begs. What the hell? Is she really giving me the puppy dog eyes?

" *Sigh* Fine! Just stop whatever you're doing," I tell her partially annoyed, partially embarrassed. She responds by doing a small fist pump.

I swear she's more kid than adult.

Since the guitar's out of tune, I start twisting the tuning pegs, trying to get the instrument to sound just right. It only takes me a few seconds to get the instrument tuned before preparing myself for my little "performance". I usually use a pick when playing guitar, but I don't see any around. Should search the store for them later.

There's a moment of silence as I attempt to decide on which song to play. Since it's my first time playing in a while, I should naturally play the first song I learned on guitar. So I start playing Diary of Jane.

I play the intro of the song by individually strumming two strings on the guitar. After the intro, I begin strumming all the strings as my fingers dance across the second and third fret. Almost instinctively, I begin humming the lyrics to the song. Don't think it's loud enough for Misato to hear. Still, I feel slightly embarrassed by my humming.

As the song reaches its chorus, my strumming quickens as my fingers dance into their positions. I'm completely in my own world as I'm reminded of all the times I would play guitar at home. No one taught me how play, I had to teach myself. I learned most of the chords and finger placements by just messing around. When I started using the internet, I would learn new songs by bringing up a video of someone playing guitar and try copying them. Practically every second, I would pause the video just to see the finger placements or strum patterns. In hindsight, it was probably the worst way to learn guitar. I would spend an hour analyzing a three minute video just to learn one song. But, I guess it wasn't a total was of time if I learned the song in the end.

I decide to end the song at the chorus, since there's no sense in playing the whole thing in the store. I end the song by strumming individual strings then allowing the notes to hang in the air for a few seconds. Silence eventually replaces the song's notes. I open my eyes, just now realizing I had them close the entire time, and catch a glimpse of Misato. She has the biggest, dumbest smile on her face.

"That was really good Michael!" she compliments. I hold back the urge to roll my eyes. She's just exaggerating.

I let out a scoff. "Sure whatever. Let's get going."

I get out of my chair and being walking to the front of the store where the cashier is. Misato follows after shrugging at my lackluster response.

While walking there, Misato decides to say something. "I gotta say, this is all pretty last minute. You said the talent show begins around 5:30, right?"

I nod. "Yeah. I would have had more time to prepare, but Toji only told me about the event yesterday." Though, if I paid more attention to class announcements, I probably wouldn't need to rush. But that's besides the point.

She lets out a sound of acknowledgement and smiles. "Still, it seems pretty out of character for you to actually go through with this."

I scoff. "I'm only doing this because Toji told me to. Kensuke's in the talent show and he's a nervous wreck. Toji thought having me participate would calm Kensuke's nerves."

Misato giggles. "If you say so." I roll my eyes at her playful comment. "Will you be ready till then?"

I nod. "Yeah, I'll be ready." I then take a look at my new guitar.

Just will take a little practice.

As soon as Misato and I got home, I became dead set on practicing for the talent show. Wanted to practice in my room, but the place has no windows, so essentially I'll be playing in the dark. So, I decided to practice on the apartment's balcony.

Now, I made sure to let Misato know I wanted her not to listen in on me. I want to be alone when practicing. It seems the woman has a hard time listening because I would catch her every now and then spying on me. I literally had to chase her away in order for me to be alone. The woman eventually gave up on her attempts to see me play and went to her room. With that problem solved, and with Asuka not home yet, I finally have a few moments to myself.

I spend some time practicing bits and pieces of different songs, trying to decide which to play for the talents show. I'm slightly nervous for the upcoming event, I can't help it. I'm not gonna just be playing guitar in the show, I'll also be singing. Due to the way I play guitar, if I just play a song by itself, the tune will sound repetitive. In order to avoid this problem, I'll have to sing. I'm not looking forward to that. I mean, this isn't the first time I did something like this. I've done it before when entering a talent show back in my original home. But it was a one time thing, and I never expected to do something similar again.

Anyway, I've decided on a few songs, but none of them. . . feel right. I don't know why, but most of them feel either too "bland" or too "complicated" for me to be playing for the school. I don't know why I'm so invested in this! I'm only entering the stupid show because Toji asked me to. So it shouldn't be this hard to decide on what stupid song to play!

I spend a few more minutes strumming random chords until something pops into my head.

Hurt.

It's the last song I learned before arriving in this world. Though, now that I think about it, it might be the perfect choice for the talent show. It's a slow song, so my chances of messing up while playing is low. The only relatively difficult part comes when strumming the individual strings; but I've done that so often it shouldn't be that much of a hindrance. Also. . .like I said before, it's the last song I learned before coming here. So, I kinda feel obligated to play it.

With this in mind, I begin practicing.

The next thirty minutes are spent just playing the song without me singing. As expected, I messed up on the parts of the song which requires me strumming individual strings, but that's why I'm practicing. When my mistakes become minimal, I start playing while singing. I don't know what is it about singing which causes me to fuck up. I guess it's because my brain's having difficulty doing two different things simultaneously. At times, I would either play the wrong chord or my voice would sound like someone strangling a child. Eventually, I practice one final time, this time with no noticeable mistakes. Slightly proud of my myself, I decide to take a short break. My fingers are sore, which is to be expected. I haven't touched a guitar in months.

There's a sudden clapping near the entrance of the balcony. Thinking it's Misato, I turn toward the entrance, preparing to tell her off for listening to me play. Much to my surprise, it isn't the Major. Instead, Asuka's there, leaning against the balcony's entrance with a genuine smile on her face. I become slightly embarrassed knowing the redhead was listening to me this whole time.

"Hey, that's pretty good," the redhead compliments, taking me by surprise. She rarely ever does that, so I'm not quite sure how to feel at the moment.

"Uh. . .thanks. I guess," I respond.

Asuka seems to sense my confusion, so she rolls her eyes in response to my words. "Geez, learn to take a compliment."

I raise an eyebrow then let out a short laugh. "Well excuse me for being surprised that you're being 'nice' for a change."

"What are you talking about? I'm always nice," She crosses her arms then points her nose in the air dramatically. This gets me to laugh even more, which amuses the redhead.

"So what's the occasion," she asks while pointing at my guitar.

"Talent show," I respond.

She looks surprised. "You're competing?"

I nod.

A devious smile makes its way onto her face. "Well then, guess we'll be competing against each other."

I pause for a moment until it finally hits me. Of course Asuka entered the talent show. The girl lives off of competition. " *Sigh* Should've known. What will you be doing?"

"I'll be playing violin," she states. "Haven't decided on which song to play, though it doesn't matter. I'm sure my performance will be perfect as always."

"I'm sure it will," I respond sarcastically. "How long have you been playing?"

"Started playing when I was a toddler and never stopped since," she responds causally, which causes my eyes to nearly to pop out of their sockets.

"That long," I ask, awe still painted on my face. She nods. "That's. . .impressive."

"Thanks for the compliment," she responds, her face now donning a smirk. "But that won't make me go easy on you Fourth Child."

I roll my eyes, but a smile makes its way onto my face. "Sure, whatever. I'm not planning on winning anyway. I'm only entering the show because Toji asked me to."

A short laugh escapes her lips. "If you say so." She walks closer to me. "So, how long have you been playing?"

I hum a bit. "About a year."

"You had an instructor?"

I snicker as I shake my head. "Naw, I taught myself." For some reason, a wave of nostalgia washes across me. "I actually was pretty lucky to even get an instrument of any kind. My family wasn't exactly the richest. Was only able to get a guitar by annoying my mom so much, she got the instrument to shut me up."

That gets a laugh out of Asuka.

"Learning to play was a real pain in the ass, yet I enjoyed it," I continue. "Felt like I accomplished something every time I learned a new chord or song. It's silly, but those times seem to be one of the few happy moments in my life."

The mood becomes somber. Why am I telling her this?

"Now that I think about it, I miss being able to play guitar."

Asuka raises an eyebrow. "If you miss playing so much, then why are you only doing so now?"

"I didn't bring my guitar when I entered Japan. Just got this one from a shop today," I say as I tap the instrument.

"What stopped you from bringing you own guitar when coming here?"

I frown. Instinctively, I reach for the cross hanging around my neck but stop myself. "Must've slipped my mind."

The redhead immediately took the hint and didn't ask any further.

Eventually, Asuka went to her room. I can hear her playing a violin in there. I know Misato didn't buy her one, so it must be one of the things the redhead brought from Germany. Though, why hasn't she played the instrument until now? Guess I'll ask her when I feel the need to. I go back to strumming my guitar, which again, brings back memories of home.

The look on my mom's face when she gave me that instrument. It was one of the few times she actually seemed happy to be around me. How pathetic is that?

It's around five in the afternoon. Asuka and I are at school, speaking to a teacher with a list in his hands. The list has the names of all the participants entering the talent show in the order of when they'll be performing. The guy took forever to find both of our names which was annoying. When he finally lets Asuka and I backstage, he informed us of who will perform before either of our names were called. I committed the name to memory and thanked the guy while entering backstage.

The whole place, while not packed, was still full of a lot of students. All of them are either talking to each other or are practicing their acts. When the students spot Asuka, some of them began fawning over her. Guess people are finally getting over the redhead, for the amount of people worshiping her has dwindled a bit.

Moments later, I'm on a stool practicing my act while speaking to a very nervous Kensuke.

"Oh man! M-Maybe this was a bad idea!"

"You'll be fine," I tell Kensuke while strumming my guitar. "Remember to breathe."

"What if I mess up?! What if I make a fool of myself in front of all those people?!"

"Don't you already make a fool of yourself?" I strum a few more notes then adjust one of the tuning pegs. The sixth string was out of tune.

The brunette gives me a sour look. "Very funny," he shakes his head. "Aren't you nervous."

"Of course."

Kensuke throws his hands in the air. "Then why do you seem so calm?!"

I roll my eyes. "Because I got out all my nervous jitters hours before I got here."

The brunette hangs his head, not really liking my answer.

Man this guy looks pathetic.

Letting out a sigh, I get off the stool then pat Kensuke on the back. "Trust me, you'll do fine. I've been in a talent show before, so believe me when I say that ninety percent of your fears are in you head." Well, that's a slight exaggeration, but he doesn't need to know that. "Just, look at the wall behind the audience and not the audience themselves. That'll make you feel less nervous. Got it?"

Kensuke lets out a long exhale then smiles. "Yeah, I got it. Thanks."

I grin slightly. "No problem."

Suddenly my phone vibrates. Looking at it, I see a message telling me to meet someone near the backstage entrance. The message was sent from someone I had least expected.

Rei.

During my entire time knowing her, she's never called or texted me. Not even when I was late to tutoring. She seems more comfortable speaking to me face to face. Kensuke, being nosy as always, peeks over my shoulder to see my phone. He got a stupid smile when he saw the message and encouraged me to meet up with Rei. I let out a sigh, flip him off, then head to the entrance.

When I get to the entrance, I open the portal and find Rei standing on the other side. Surprise paints my face as I realize she isn't wearing her usual getup. Instead, she's wearing a milky white one piece dress, and has a white summer hat on her head. In her hands is a blue box which could easily fit into the palm of one's hand. She displays her usual blank expression as she takes notice of me.

"Uh. . .hey," I say, still shocked at her new appearance. I then smile. "I see you're finally wearing that dress I bought you."

She nods. "I thought it to be appropriate."

I chuckle at her comment. She's all dressed up for a talent show? "So, why'd you call me here? You're not in the show, are you?"

She shakes her head. "I'm here to. . .support you. To wish you 'luck'."

I pause. That's. . .quite a shock. Rei seems to notice my surprise and comments on it. "This is unexpected?"

I nod.

"How come?"

"Well. . ." how do I put this? "You usually don't do that sort of thing."

She pauses. Crap, hope I didn't say something to-

"It's what friends are supposed to do, correct?" Rei questions.

I open my mouth to say something, pause, then laugh a bit. "Yeah, I guess so."

I look back at the girl and she seems to be fidgeting. Is she nervous about something?

"I've also come here to. . .give you this," Rei says in almost a whisper. She presents the blue box she's been holding in her hands, waiting for me to take it. I stare at the object for a second then take notice of Rei's expression. She has a blank stare, though it's mixed with something resembling embarrassment.

I smile at the blue haired girl as I take the gift from her hands. "Thanks." I open the box and see a purple hairband. Floral patterns are stitched into the object and a metal cross is also attached to it. The cross itself is stylized and is bedazzled a bit. It has blue and red plastic gems on each of its corners. These gems also shine if the light hits them just right.

It's a small gift, and is a bit on the girly looking side. But for some reason, it makes me feel extremely cheerful.

"Rei, did you make this?" I ask.

She nods. "I noticed your old hair-band was slightly damaged, so I thought you might need a new one."

"I love it!" I tell her, which seems to put her as ease. I take off my old hair-band, only now noticing how tattered it was. It was probably due to being soaked in LCL so much. Anyway, I put the old object in my pocket then wrap the hair-band Rei made me around my dreads. "Think this thing will bring me good luck?"

Rei doesn't get it's a joke, for she's genuinely thinking of an answer. "I do not believe so."

I start laughing while shaking my head. "We'll need to work on your sense of humor." Her cheeks turn pink at my comment. "Anyway, thanks for the gift. It's. . . nice to see that you care." I try to sound sarcastic as to not to sound sappy.

A small smile appears on her face. She once again wishes me good luck as she exits the backstage. I go back to where Kensuke is and, again, he seems to be freaking out. I shake my head in disbelief. Eventually, I go back to practicing on my guitar.

As soon as it's 5:30, the principle of the school went on stage. He started going on this boring speech, talking about how proud he was of his students or how there's a variety of talent this year. After he was done with his long winded speech, the actual show began.

The first few acts consisted of people singing, rapping, or dancing on stage. The singers and rappers were okay so far, but the dancers were a sight to behold. There was this one guy, he was jumping and flipping around stage. At one point he started spinning on his head for what felt like a minute. The moves were impressive to watch, and become even more impressive once you realized he did all these stunts in rhythm. There was a roar of applause when he was done with his act.

Kensuke's act finally came up. The guy was clearly nervous; his constant shaking was an obvious sign of that. Being backstage, I whispered to the guy, trying to encourage him to get on with his act. Hearing this, Kensuke started his magic act by calling a volunteer to the stage. It was going to do some type of card trick, but the brunette dropped all his cards. His face turned bright red after that mistake. But, after some encouraging, he started to show some confidence. He had participants pick a card and he'd correctly guessed which card they had. He made objects disappear and reappear in people's pockets. By the end of his performance, people were applauding him. The guy took a bow and went backstage, fully confident in himself. When I asked how he did all those tricks, he gave an answer almost any magician would give. "A true magician never reveals his secrets."

A few more acts pass before it comes close to my turn. The guy before me is a comedian, and judging from the audience's reactions, I'd say he's pretty decent. I take a few breaths as I repeat the lyrics of the song I'll be playing. I strum some of the song on my guitar (quietly), checking if I remembered all the chords.

The comedian's act ends, which causes the audience to applaud. The principal then calls my name, and describes what I'll be doing, which is a sign for me to get off my ass. The audience claps as I walk on stage. The stage is actually pretty high up now that I'm standing on it. Also the stage light are nearly blinding. I have to cover my eyes briefly before they adjust. There's a stool in front of the stage microphone, put there so I could play guitar while sitting. I sit myself in the stool and lower the mic, prepared to speak.

"H-Hey," I stutter slightly into the mic. I then frown. My voice sounds weird. "So. . .the song I'll be playing is Hurt, the Johnny Cash version. Hope y'all enjoy."

My fingers hover over the correct frets as I become laser focused on the task at hand. I ready my pick and am about to play until some shouting breaks my concentration.

"You go Michael! Woohoo! ! !"

I instantly recognize the voice as Misato and groan slightly. I wave in the direction her voice was coming from and get myself set again.

Just breathe.

After letting out a long exhale, I begin strumming the guitar strings individually, playing the intro. I allow the guitar to sing for a bit before doing so myself.

"I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel."

I keep my eyes closed which helps me focus on my playing. I can imagine my fingers dancing around the guitar's neck as the song's lyrics leave my mouth.

This song, I remember hearing it in some old restaurant my family and I were eating at. There was this old, yet well taken care of, jukebox in the corner of the restaurant playing Hurt. I recognized the singer as Johnny Cash, but only because my mother would always point out his music anytime it would play in a movie or tv show. The song stuck with me, though, I never figured out why. I loved the song so much that immediately after hearing it, I searched for it on youtube and had it on repeat for god knows how long. Every time I listened to it, I learned more about it. Like, the song was originally made by Nine Inch Nails, and was an allegory for drug addiction. Johnny Cash's version seems to be about legacy, though that's just my interpretation. Yet, for some reason, the song always felt personal. Like there was another meaning it had which represented apart of myself.

"What have I become, my sweetest friend. Everyone I know, goes away in the end."

My strumming increases in intensity as I put more feeling into the song. It feels like there's a lump in my throat, yet the feeling doesn't seem to affect my ability to play. I once again reach the chorus of the song and the lump in my throat seems to get bigger as a pit develops in my stomach. It takes me a moment to realize the feeling is sadness, and it takes me even longer to realize why.

The intensity of my playing increases as I reach the climax of the song. The song's lyrics reminds me of some personal thoughts and emotions I felt at a time. Things I still feel from time to time. Bitterness, anger, longing, fear. But the most intense at the moment is a feeling of pure isolation. The feeling of loss.

Guess that's what the song means to me.

"I would find, a way."

As I end the song, I let the sound of the guitar hover in the air for a few seconds. The sound eventually fades, replaced by silence. I look at the audience, expecting some kind of reaction. Eventually, a roar of applause echoes across the building, silencing the fear I had of them hating my performance. Misato, of course, is making the most noise. Somehow, her howls of praise are louder than the surrounding audience. It's honestly a ridiculous sight. She's acting like a mom seeing her son walk for the first time.

The rest of the night was filled with excellent performances. Each of the acts seems to be better than the last. The last performance of the night was Asuka playing her violin. She playing a song I didn't know, some classical music. Even though I'm not a big fan of classical music, the song Asuka was playing was nice to listen to. The song seem to have a lullaby melody to it, which captivated the audience. When the performance ended, everyone gave a standing ovation. Due to the audience's reaction, it came as no surprise when it was announced that Asuka was the winner of the talent show.

When heading home, the redhead made a big deal about her winning. She wouldn't shut up about it on our entire way home. I didn't even make it to fifth place in the talent show, so that elevated the redhead's hubris even higher. It was irritating, but I let her have her moment. After all, the talent show isn't that big a deal.

When we finally got back to Misato's place, I immediately went to my room and plopped onto the bed, completely exhausted. I close my eyes, attempting to get some rest, until something pops into my head.

Rei.

The girl has changed a lot since I first arrived. She actually went out of her way to not only wish me luck, but to give me a present. Her doing something like that is almost completely out of character for her, not that it's a bad thing. I feel proud to be able to see her express herself. I don't know why, but seeing her like that just makes me happy.

I pull out Rei's hair-band out of my dreadlocks to look at it. My lips mold into a smile.

It's a small gift, probably not impressive to some. But it's proof. Proof of how much she progressed. Proof that she's not some emotionless "doll" as some would call her. It's proof, that she's human. I can only hope Rei knows that.

My smile becomes even wider as another thought pops into my head.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna give her something.

It was sometime in the afternoon when Misato drove Asuka and I to Nerv. It was for a harmonics test, as usual. But apparently, there was gonna be something new after we've finished the usual testing. What it was, well, Misato didn't know. Though she was confident the new test wouldn't take up much of our time. I just nod in agreement with the Major as I look at the gift box lying on my lap. Asuka asked a few times about the box, but I just ignored her.

When we entered the Geofront, we noticed some of the electronics seemed a bit. . .glitchy. Like, sometimes the card readers wouldn't work or some of the computers' screens would freeze. What ever happened two days ago was probably what caused the glitches. Misato said Ritsuko would be able to fix the place within a few days. Until then, we'll have to deal with all this.

Minutes later, me and the other pilots are in our plugsuits, readying ourselves for a harmonics test. I wanted to speak to Rei alone, so I managed to convince Asuka to leave me and the blue haired girl alone for a few minutes. The redhead seemed upset for some reason, though she eventually just started teasing me before walking off. So as of now, Rei and I are in an elevator which will be heading to our destination. I'm holding the gift box behind my back, partially hiding it from the girl.

I decide to get her attention. "Hey Rei. I want to once again thank you for coming to the talent show."

The girl looks at me, displaying her usual blank expression. "It was no trouble. I found the experience. . .enjoyable."

A smile makes its way to my face. "Anyway, since you gave me a gift yesterday, I thought it would be fair to give you one in return." I present the gift box which I was only partially hiding and display it to her.

Usually Rei would begin to question why I would do such a thing, or would tell me I didn't need to trouble myself with this. But, instead of that usual response, she just stared at the object for a second then took it. The girl then opened the box, revealing a small, but thick book with a hard cover.

"It's a book of poems," I clarify to her. I begin scratching the back of my head. "Thought you'd enjoy something like that since you like to read so much." I let out a chuckle.

Rei continues to stare at the book. "Hart. . .do you feel obligated to care for me?"

The smile I had turns into a slight frown. "What do you mean?"

Her hands shake a bit. "You know there are hundreds of others like me. That if I were to disappear, there are others which could easily take my place."

"Rei we talked about this-"

"I know," she interrupts, voice slightly raised. "I know you believe I am. . .unique. But, I don't understand. You put so much effort into understanding me, yet, I have difficulty understanding a great many things. I don't understand why you believe I am unique. I don't know why you smile when you around me. I don't understand why you are so caring. I don't understand all these alien emotion which seem to be consuming me. I don't. . ."

She stops her mini rant for a moment. I'm afraid she's going to cry, but not a tear stains her face. "It's just. . .too much."

I take a moment to think about what Rei's saying, then I collect my thoughts. "Like I told you before, I know what it's like to feel worthless."

She looks at me, absolutely shocked. "But, you're not worthless."

Those words resonate deep within my heart. That's the best way to describe the emotion I'm feeling right now.

"You're probably right," I respond, chuckling a bit. "But it's how I feel. You already know why."

This whole situation reminds me of that night long ago. The night when I bawled my eyes out while telling Rei how much of a failure I was. The night, I decided to trust Rei as a friend. Back then, I realized me and her were similar. Now, I realize how similar we really are. Rei is doing the same thing I did that night, albeit more composed. The walls she's created are tumbling down, leaving her heart out in the open. And that scares her.

"I know this is all confusing to you," I tell her while walking closer. "You've probably never had a friend before. Everyone you knew up till this point either thought you were weird or was using you. Am I correct?"

The girl pauses for a moment, then slowly nods. I let out a sad sigh. My chest seems to be tightening. Though, I'm able to continue speaking.

"Even though I disliked my world so much, I did manage to get a few friends. Don't ask me how, I still don't know myself." I laugh at myself for a moment before continuing. "I never understood why they stuck around, but I guess I should've realized it didn't matter. I felt so happy to be able to talk to some people I felt comfortable around. But due to certain. . . 'circumstances', I pushed them away. I isolated myself, somehow convincing myself it was the right thing to do. That. . .they would be better off without me."

I inhale deeply, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I stopped trusting people. I believed that trusting others would eventually lead to pain and loss. That is, until I met you." I look at Rei in those crimson red eyes. "Rei, I know there's nothing I can say right now to convince you that I genuinely care about you. But, if you'll just take a chance, just like I took a chance with you, then I promise, I will always be there for you. I will never abandon you, and I will never hurt you."

She stares in awe at me, as she holds the book I gave her closer to her chest.

"You. . . promise?" she asks in a child-like voice.

"I promise," I give her the biggest smile I could muster.

She pauses for a moment, then smiles as well. The whole area is quiet, yet, there's a feeling of utter comfort at the moment. I feel happier than I really should at the moment. Hell, I just said the corniest shit ever. But, it seemed to make her happy, and I guess that's all that matters.

The elevator shakes, causing Rei and I to lose our balance. When it comes to a sudden stop, Rei falls onto me, causing me to fall into the floor. Rei lies on top of me, just staring. The serene atmosphere has now transformed into an awkward one.

I smile. "Hey, don't fall for me now. We're just friends remember?"

Usually these jokes just fly over her head, but this time, it looks like she's processing what I said. When it looks like she got the joke, her cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. That's gets a laugh out of me. But what she did next was something I'd never expect in a hundred years.

She laughs.

At first it was a small chuckle, then it increased into a full on belly laugh. She gets to her feet and holds a hand over her mouth, trying to cover her laughter. The way she laughs is the funniest shit I've ever heard! Every few seconds she'll let out a high pitched hiccup, and when she tried to stop that, she starts snorting. The whole scene and the disbelief of it all gets me to laugh boisterously.

" *Chuckles* Seriously," I say, trying to catch my breath. "Out of anything you could choose laugh at, you laugh at my stupid pun!"

"I *Chuckles* apologize Hart!" says Rei, forcing herself to calm down.

We eventually calm down when the elevator begins working again. When we reached the testing room, we told Ritsuko about the elevator and she said she'll look into it. Moments later, me and the other pilots finish out harmonics tests. This left Ritsuko to do something new. She had Rei and I switch Evas so we could try to connect with them. It was called a "mutual compatibility experiment". Guess the doctor wanted to see if it was possible to have pilots use another's Evangelion. Though, for some reason, Asuka wasn't part of the experiment. Besides me feeling weird in Unit-00, nothing went wrong.

Everything went off without a hitch.

Author's Notes: And another chapter has been finished! This one is more chill compared to the others. Though, I felt there was a need for the characters to have a short break before they head deeper into the story. So, that's basically how the concept for this chapter came to be. Anyway hope you guys enjoyed the story so far.

Chapter 12 Hint: Can't think of a clever hint for the band's name, so I'll just say that they're initials are "HLH". The song's name is partially within the title. It's a reference to memories and photography.

See y'all whenever I can post.