this body yet survives
by Rose Thorne
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.
Chapter Three
Wangji soaked in Wei Ying's good cheer, how he flitted around the mountain path on the way to Caiyi to examine anything that caught his eye. He had to discourage him from capturing another rabbit for the herd in Cloud Recesses; after all, they would have to go back if he was successful, and they had not yet reached their destination.
"On the way home, then," Wei Ying said, his grin as wide as those during his days as a student, and Wangji's heart clenched in joy to see it.
Caiyi was bustling, the fishermen hawking the morning catch, and Wei Ying held back a little at the chaos of it, staying closer to Wangji, reminding him that he was still fragile, still easily overwhelmed. This was the first trip to town since he had truly started to heal, after all.
Wangji had a mental map of the town and the places he wished to take him, purchases he wished to make; a gaun, scented oil for his hair, spicy foods—whatever Wei Ying wanted, he would have—and the personal additions to the betrothal gifts he would present to the Jiang siblings.
As hesitant as he seemed to enter the crowd, Wei Ying was also fascinated by the fish hawking, curious about the tubs of live catch. He stopped to watch a turtle for a bit, fascinated by the markings on the top of its neck that resembled eyes. It was a colorful specimen, with a dark brown shell and distinctive markings.
"Do you want it?" Wangji asked softly.
Wei Ying smiled at him, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Where would I put it? The Cold Spring? Your uncle would kick me out."
Wangji frowned, troubled that Wei Ying still thought, even jokingly, he would be discarded so easily, that his place was so tenuous. He had to remind himself that shufu and xiongzhang would clarify that today, that he would soon realize the Cloud Recesses was his home.
"There is a small pond outside the jingshi," he offered.
"'Pets are forbidden,' Lan Zhan. You don't need more creatures to take care of."
He wondered if they were speaking of the turtle anymore.
"Not a pet," Wangji clarified. "It is a wild thing, and could live to old age there, protected."
As he hoped Wei Ying himself would in the jingshi with him—not as a caged creature, but as his beloved, loved as he deserved.
Wei Ying was quiet for a moment, watching the turtle, but finally nodded.
"Let's rescue it, then," he murmured, his voice rough. "So it won't end up someone's dinner tonight."
Turtles, after all, were symbols of longevity, power, and tenacity. In some ways, they represented what Wei Ying had endured and survived. He had endured so much, had defeated the water he had been left in to die. Turtles were seen as powerful bringers of luck and serenity, both things Wei Ying could use. Perhaps this encounter, their purchase of it, was auspicious.
He stayed close as Wangji purchased it and smiled more sincerely when he handed him a covered basket with the turtle secured inside.
"We will release it in the pond when we return home," he told him softly, mentally adding the bookseller to his list of places to go so they could find a book on turtles.
They wandered toward the market, Wei Ying moving carefully so as not to jostle the turtle. The bookseller was first, and they perused the shelves together, quickly finding a suitable book.
Wangji noticed Wei Ying's eyes lingering on a book of poetry and pulled it from the shelf, curious. It was a collection of the poems of Ruan Ji and Ji Kang, two notable sages in a time of turbulent wars, and rumored lovers. He could see the blush on Wei Ying's face, and felt his own ears heat as he recalled that one of the two had written homoerotic poetry; he wondered if this volume contained them.
He bought both books, slipping them in his qiankun pouch. They could read them together.
At the stall with scented oils for hair, Wei Ying seemed lost at the number of options, and looked to Wangji for help.
"You can try smaller amounts of different ones until you find one you like," Wangji said softly, "but this might fit you."
He had the vendor mix a small sample of orange and cinnamon for Wei Ying to smell and was pleased to see the scents seemed to relax him. Wangji was happy to purchase it.
Wei Ying, he knew, often let his hair go, not taking care of it. He would take charge of it personally, he decided, perhaps enlisting Jiang Yanli's help while they were courting, when it would be a bit inappropriate for him to do so.
Wangji noticed a stall of colorful candies and stopped to buy Wei Ying tanghulu. This seller, he knew, removed the hawthorn seeds and replaced them with red bean paste before glazing them with sugar.
He took a bite when Wei Ying offered, enjoying the sweet and tart mixtures, the crunch followed by the meatiness of the hawthorn and the soft cream of the bean paste. Wei Ying happily munched on the rest on the way to the next stall.
Before they reach it, Wei Ying froze, the mostly-eaten tanghulu falling from his fingers to the ground. Wangji followed his gaze and found Jin Zixuan at a nearby stall, along with Madam Jin—who, he recalled, was the sworn sister of Madam Yu.
Wangji could hear Wei Ying's breath, how it had started to speed up, and recognized he was in the beginning of a panic attack. He turned to face him, moving Wei Ying so he could still see her in his peripheral vision—he already knew she was there, and could panic worse if he couldn't see her, but he tried to encourage him to focus on him.
"I am here," Wangji told him. "You are not alone."
Wei Ying managed a nod, taking deep breaths and pressing one thumb to the opposite palm, something the mind healers had taught him to help him find calm.
Jin Zixuan approached, Madam Jin hanging back. He bowed and Wangji bowed back, noting that Wei Ying did the same, shaking slightly.
"Lan-er-gongzi, Wei-gongzi, we intended to visit Cloud Recesses. I didn't realize you would be in Caiyi."
He sounded apologetic, and Wangji knew he could see Wei Ying struggling.
"Wei-gongzi, my mother has come to speak with you."
A panicked noise, so soft Wangji was sure only he heard it, escaped Wei Ying, his breath stuttering again. His knuckles were white, his hand clenched around the basket handle.
Madam Jin was looking at Wei Ying with an expression that bordered on pity, he realized.
"I apologize for your ill treatment at the hands of my former sworn sister, Wei Wuxian," she said bluntly, bowing low to him. "And for the discomfort my presence has brought you."
Confusion washed over Wei Ying's face at her words, but he also seemed to focus, coming out of his panic.
"Former?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
Madam Jin nodded.
"I could not continue being her sworn sister after what she did to you, her own ward. It was inexcusable."
Wei Ying looked lost, almost dizzy, and Wangji placed a hand on his upper arm in case he fell.
"Over something as small as talismans to change the color of the tea," Jin Zixuan muttered.
Wangji felt Wei Ying tremble, the memory tied up in his near-death. He had stuck talismans to the undersides of each sect leader's teapot, and the tea had come out in the sect's main color—Jiang Fengmian's, violet; Nie Mingjue's, deep green; xiongzhang's, a pale blue; Wen Ruohan's, crimson; Jin Guangshan's, golden. Even minor sect leaders' teapots had transformed the color of their tea.
The talismans had changed nothing else about the tea, neither flavor nor quality, and had been well-received by the sect leaders when Wei Ying had explained the tea was safe.
"Just an extra treat for the discussion conference," he had said with a respectful bow and a cheeky smile.
Madam Yu had ordered him out, stalking after him, and it had been the last time anyone had seen Wei Ying until Jiang Yanli found him so close to death.
"I revealed lax security, she said," Wei Ying murmured, his voice hollow.
He was shaking more obviously now, and Wangji moved closer as he swayed. They had never spoken of the incident, and he had no idea how Wei Ying might react.
"That's ridiculous!" Jin Zixuan muttered, the anger in his voice surprising. "Of course you had access as head disciple."
His comment seemed to jolt Wei Ying out of what Wangji had feared might be the beginning of a fugue, and he started at the Jin heir blankly, like he hadn't expected a defense from him.
Wangji approved of his anger, befitting one who would be Wei Ying's brother in law. Madam Yu's actions had clearly led to a change in Jin Zixuan for the better. He could remember, vaguely, the young man trying to comfort Jiang Yanli as she sobbed, telling her that her brother was strong, he would be okay. Wangji had been far more focused on Wei Ying, leaving him only to help the Jiang siblings pack his belongings and expedite their departure, and only in the care of xiongzhang.
"We are bringing up bad memories," Madam Jin realized, her voice regretful. "I actually wish to commission you for your talisman work, Wei Wuxian."
Wei Ying swallowed hard, clearly making an effort to stay present mentally.
"What kind of talisman, Jin-furen?"
She offered him a gentle smile.
"I'd prefer not to discuss it in the street. Let me treat you to lunch, and we can get a private room and chat. With Lan Wangji and my son present, of course."
Wangji realized she was trying to assure Wei Ying she did not wish him ill, would not seek to harm him, and perhaps was letting him know as well.
Wei Ying gave a jerky nod, glancing at him as though for reassurance. He decided to lead the way to the restaurant he had intended to take him to for lunch, a place known for spicy fare but with dishes that suited his own palate. It happened to have private dining rooms, which Wangji had intended for them anyway, so Wei Ying would have a break from people.
The move put the Jins behind them, he realized when Wei Ying clung to his arm, but the walk was blessedly short. Madam Jin was kind enough to lead the way up the stairs, clearly recognizing Wei Ying's distress. He was thankful that she also allowed Wei Ying to decide where in the smaller room to sit, deferring to him in a way that most people of her station would not.
Though her kindness was not unselfish—she did, after all, want something—he appreciated it nonetheless. He led Wei Ying to a seat around the table, where he could see the door, a window nearby to facilitate escape if needed, both things that might make him feel more secure.
Wangji worried Wei Ying might eat little, a behavior that manifested when he was stressed, but he could do nothing to alleviate that.
"May we speak before we eat?" Madam Jin asked after settling across from them with her son. "If you decide against taking the commission, I will still purchase lunch. It is the least I can do given your willingness to speak with me."
Wei Ying nodded again, grasping Wangji's hand under the table. Wangji squeezed gently, trying to reassure him.
"As you may be aware, my husband has… dallied," she began.
Jin Zixuan's face turned a bit sour at this, and Wangji was reminded of Wei Ying's question to him when he asked for permission to court Jiang Yanli.
"Given… recent events, I have decided it would be prudent to find the children resulting from his indiscretions."
Wei Ying's gaze sharpened a bit.
"For what purpose?" he asked softly.
Wangji squeezed his hand again, knowing his thoughts; Wei Ying would not wish to create anything that could result in deaths.
Madam Jin smiled, as though the question pleased her.
"To protect them. I will not legitimize them, but I want them and their mothers, who were perhaps lied to or coerced, or whose freedom needs to be bought from brothels, to be safe and cared for. The children should have the opportunity to learn to cultivate and have a relationship with my son as their half-brother, along with their other half-siblings."
She sighed softly.
"All involved are innocents, and I could stay bitter as I once was and wish them ill, but after… what was done to you, I don't wish to be that person. The world could mistake that behavior as acceptable, as there have been few consequences. I want to offer an alternative."
Wei Ying seemed to need to take several breaths, his hand tightening on Wangji's for a moment, before he could nod. Wangji could see a suspicious sheen to his eyes, and realized Wei Ying was overcome by Madam Jin's desire to make right somehow, to force something positive to result from what was done to him.
"One to find, and one to also test those who step forth with claims?" Wei Ying asked after he had calmed.
Madam Jin let out a breath, looking relieved, almost as though she had been concerned Wei Ying would not be up to the task, perhaps still too traumatized.
Not long ago, he would have been, Wangji had to admit. But he was getting better, and he had never stopped inventing new talismans.
"Yes, that would also be useful," she said. "Thank you."
"There would likely be a limit on distance," Wei Ying told her. "But I'd have to experiment with options and prototypes."
Madam Jin set a large bag of gold in front of him, and Wei Ying's eyes widened.
"This is a down payment. I understand it may take time, and there is no rush. I will reimburse you for any materials needed, if that becomes an issue."
Wei Ying looked up at her, frowning slightly.
"I will need your husband's blood," he said. "Unless you want me to focus on the sibling aspect, and then I could use Jin Zixuan's."
Wangji realized this was Wei Ying's way of asking if this was being done secretly, without Sect Leader Jin's knowledge.
Madam Jin actually laughed softly.
"Oh, you are bright," she said, her voice full of delighted praise. "My husband is still claiming innocence, and is not willing to take part in this project. My son has kindly offered to help instead."
Wangji tried not to be concerned about the implications that this could be against Sect Leader Jin's wishes. Wei Ying was under the protection of Gusu Lan now, and he would defend him personally if need be.
Jin Zixuan pulled out a pouch and slid it gently across the table.
"Several vials of my blood. I can provide more if needed."
Wei Ying looked momentarily shocked at the implied level of trust—the amount of blood needed to harm someone via a curse or hex was miniscule, after all—and attempted a smile.
"I'll try not to waste any."
Jin Zixuan only nodded, and Wangji took the bag to slip into his qiankun pouch. Wei Ying handed him the pouch of money without looking at him, the exchange made less simple by the fact that Wei Ying didn't let go of his hand under the table. Though his grip wasn't tight, Wangji refused to break it, refused to let go when he needed him.
Madam Jin slid the door open to let the servers know they were ready for tea.
Wei Ying's gaze had gone a bit glassy, though his eyes were moving as he thought, perhaps distracted by ideas for the talisman. Wangji resolved to ensure Wei Ying ordered and ate plenty, knowing he might need prompting. He knew they would return to Cloud Recesses following this, without a replacement for Wei Ying's broken guan, and without additional gifts for the Jiang siblings. Wei Ying would need time to rest before meeting with shufu and xiongzhang, particularly after the strain he had just endured.
They would release the turtle in front of the jingshi together, and Wangji would play the guqin for him while he rested. Then, following the meeting, wherein Wei Ying's status would be clarified, Wangji would seek permission from his siblings to court him.
He ran his thumb across the back of Wei Ying's hand, and was relieved when the act was returned, when the glassiness left his eyes and he looked at him with a tired-looking smile.
I didn't really expect the turtle thing, but it happened kind of organically as I was bringing Caiyi to life. Wei Ying is going to name it Tang 汤, meaning 'soup,' because of course he is. This particular turtle is a species native to mountainous regions of southern China, the four-eyed turtle. And now I need to do more research on turtles because of course I do.
In addition to Wei Ying's recovery, this fic is also in part about the cultivation world's reaction to what Yu Ziyuan did, in that there are some consequences. Hence Madam Jin dissolving their sworn sisterhood and commissioning Wei Ying. Her decision to take in and ensure Jin Guangshan's bastards and mistresses are cared for is partially out of spite for what her former sworn sister did, but is also the result of some soul-searching on her part. This is not Madam Jin assuming that Wei Ying is Jiang Fengmian's secret bastard son, btw.
As I've noted in other MDZS fics I'm writing, I like to explore how a point of change can cascade to change other things, so I am back on my bullshit. Also, I think this makes the third fic where I've referenced Ruan Ji and Ji Kang. I just bought a book of their translated poetry that's supposed to be delivered next week.