Hi, so here is another chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as much as I have enjoyed writing it. This was a painful process so I hope the emotions are alright.

As I said in Chapter 2 there is no redemption for Pat Halstead and there is nothing in him that makes a person feel sorry for him. I hope this makes clear what happened and where the blame lies.

Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine.

Please Read and Review and let me know what you think.

And I will try and update the next chapter as soon as possible.

A MASSIVE Thank You to all of you who have let me know how much you love this story so far!

What Lies Buried

Chapter 10-Justify The Means

Pat Halstead is forced to relieve the night it all changed, Hank is almost feral with grief and rage and Bridget gets her life turned upside down. Also Al and Meredith deal with the news in their own different ways.

May 2015

It was Al that drove again. Erin with an expression like thunder all but threw him into the back of the car and then slammed into the passenger side.

He was not sure that he cared. In fact Hank was not sure he cared about anything other than the teenage girl who had looked at him as if he was a sick monster.

"In hindsight that was not the best plan" he said quietly.

That was all it took for Erin to explode.

"Not the best plan?! Hank are you kidding me! You took her from school dragged her to Camille's grave and dumped that on her? Jesus Christ—and how do the two of you not call me the second you knew!"

Hank wasn't entirely sure. To be honest he was still numb from the night before. The fact that Bridget Halstead was his daughter had swamped most of the night and had left him feeling emotionally battered and bruised. At some point through the fog in his brain he had cried on Al's shoulder and then Al had gone to deal with a case and he had been left to his own devices.

It had not been a conscious choice to go and see her but he had been sat there on the couch just trying to think and the urge to see her, to check for her, to make sure she was there, had been so overwhelming that he had been in the car in front of the school before he could stop himself.

Actually looking back it was miracle that he managed to get to the school in one piece.

And then she had been there. And he had done it. He had promised himself that he would reunite Camille and Bridget and though he had once thought that would mean the former being alive he had done it nonetheless.

Now that the fog was clearing even he could admit that it was a very bad plan.

Erin was still yelling but Hank was only half listening.

He was suddenly aware of the look she had given him as he had told her.

She had looked at him as if he was a monster, the monster. And when she had called another man Dad…

Christ that had hurt.

He had not really been expecting how much this would hurt. Stupidly he had thought the hurt that he had been through would cover this pain. But this pain was different—he had found his daughter and she hated him.

"She hates me" he said quietly. "She looked at me like I was a monster" and Erin stopped yelling to turn to him.

"Well what did you expect her to do? Jump into your arms and say hello Daddy?"

"Fair enough"

"And she doesn't hate you. She's a mess of contradictions at the moment, she's sixteen which is a bitch of an age for anyone and then you take a sledgehammer to everything she's ever known. You should have waited until Jay was there—"

"So what he could punch me again?"

"So he could calm her down. And you—" she turned to Al who turned left following Halstead's car.

"What the hell did you think you were doing with that whole custody, not your sister bollocks?"

"I was thinking if Jay got in the car he might not come back"

"Well that's bullshit. Of course Jay was coming back, even if it is to punch you. That was a red rag to the bull Al and you know it. Bridget's sixteen you think a judge is not going to listen to her when she speaks about where she wants to live?"

"Yeah well…he had a good right hook"

"Hank he's killed people before don't kid yourself. And before we get out of the car you need to decide what you want to do"

He had shut his eyes and he opened them then. He was utterly bone deep exhausted, so exhausted that he was not sure what more he had to be doing.

"What do you mean?"

Her face was creased in sympathy.

"Hank, you me and Al know who we are about to meet in there. This is the man who took your daughter out of your arms, this is the man that broke Camille's heart in pieces and this is the man who left you and her stuck in hell. But for Bridget and Jay this is their father however wrong that may be. So you need to make a decision. Do you want to bring him in or do you want to take him to the docks?"

He could hardly believe that she was giving him the choice. Erin never liked giving him the choice. She would back him up regardless of what decisions he made but she would never usually give him the choice.

"Hank" Al said twisting in his seat. "I get it I do but if you kill him you lose Halstead, and probably Bridget. For better or worse they have recognised him as Dad for a long time"

"He's not…can we stop calling him that." he said finally. His brain was still in overdrive. It seemed almost impossible that just this time yesterday all he had been worrying about was weather or not Jay was about to get himself shot and what that Roman cop had over Al.

And now…

And now he was going to look into the eyes of the man he had hated without knowing anything about him for nearly sixteen years.

Jay was getting out of the car in front. He could see Bridget her hair now dusting the top of her collarbone not looking at anything or anyone. She looked…small…in fact she looked like Cam had looked like when he had driven her home from the hospital and a flare of hatred sparked in him.

"I'll keep my temper" he said finally. "But don't expect much else"

Erin sighed. She too seemed to recognise a loosing battle when she came across one.

"Fine" was all she said before she clamoured out the car. She made to go to Bridget but before she could Bridget had crossed to the other side of Jay so that he was effectively blocking all of them from view and Hank felt something twist inside him.

It was not fair.

He had gotten her back. He had found out she was alive, that she was safe, that she was whole. That the nightmares that had plagued him for years about what had happened to her had been just that, nightmares and that she was as perfect now as she had been when he had held her for the first time except now she wouldn't even look at him.

And it was just not fair.

This time yesterday she had hugged him.

Now she wouldn't even so much as glance in his direction. She had thought he had gone mad (actually considering where his mental state was right now she was not far off) and she had ran away from him like he was the monster.

Sitwell…like he was Sitwell.

And now she was using Jay like a barricade.

Jay for the most part wasn't looking at either him or Al. Clearly they had both decided in the car that they were running all of their communications through Erin who managed a smile that didn't meat her eyes.

"Perhaps I should go in first?" she said softly but Hank had had enough. He had been waiting sixteen years to meet his man again and he was going to be the one that had the supreme pleasure of being the one that brought his life as he knew it to a screeching halt.

So he pushed past all of them and knocked on the door.

It seemed to take an age for it to open and he was aware of Jay at his shoulder giving him a long look that told Hank that his detective was not above reporting him for shooting his father on sight on his own doorstep.

And then Pat Halstead was there staring at him.

There was no doubt. Not that he'd had any. He knew who he was looking at and time nor age had not changed it.

This was the man who had taken his baby out of his arms and then taken her away from him.

This was him.

This was the nightmare.

For what felt like an endless second the two of them were staring at each other and then Pat Halstead's mouth twitched upwards his gaze going from Jay to Bridget as if he was almost amused by something and then he turned around and jerked his head and Jay followed almost instantly. Bridget swept past him without a second look and Hank was left to step into the only home his daughter had every known.

It had once had the makings of a nice house. Things were going to seed but then so was the man in front of him. Pat Halstead did not seem to have photo's of any of his children though there was one on the wall of a dark haired woman who must have been his wife. She looked nice Hank supposed.

But he didn't care about that.

(Well he did just not right now)

Pat Halstead sat down but he didn't look at his son or…Bridget instead he looked flatly at Hank.

"Well it took you long enough. Thought you'd find me within the first week"

Jay was there before he could blink.

"Dad this is my boss—"

"I know who he is Jay, he's Hank Voight don't treat me like an idiot."

Jay blinked once but then ploughed on and looking at his Detective Hank was sure that Jay knew there and then what was coming.

"We need to know what happened the night you found Bridget."

"Ah. I was wondering when this was going to come up. Found out did you?"

That question was aimed at him.

"I found the blanket" he responded. He could feel the anger building up in his veins once more. It wouldn't take much.

"Jesus…you had that damn thing out again?"

"Course I did. In case you missed it there was a hit out on Jay"

Pat Halstead raised an eyebrow but said nothing and even if Hank had not hated him with every fibre of his being he would have struggled to warm to this man who cared so little about his son that Hank had nearly killed himself trying to save.

"I should have thrown that thing away" he said finally. "But I just…well…I had a feeling this day would come one way or the other. Didn't think it would take sixteen years—"

"Dad" Jay snapped. "My boss thinks he's my sister's biological father and that you kidnapped her do you think you might wanna answer that one?. Is it true? Did you…did you kidnap Bridget?"

Pat Halstead stood up and walked to the cabinet. He cracked open a bottle of what looked like pretty decent scotch and downed a fifth in quick succession.

"Yeah it's true"

Jay recoiled as if he'd been punched in the face. Erin's eyes were wide in her head. Bridget looked as if she'd been floored. Hank didn't care…he should…God help him he should care about that look in her eyes but he didn't care right now…right now all he could think about was that finally, finally, someone had admitted it.

"I'm sorry?" Jay asked in a stunned voice. "You—you did?"

"Yeah. I admit it. Have to admit It's kinda nice saying it out loud"

"Dad—don't say another word just—"

"Jay" Pat Halstead said with an eyeroll. "It's over, it's done. I knew that the second your mother died. She died believing the lie I created. After that I didn't…I decided that it didn't matter if someone found out. What happened after that. Because the whole reason I did this was for your mother and when she died the lie died with her"

"Wait…Mom knew?"

"No Jay listen to me" and he shifted so that his entire perspective was on his son. He was blowing apart his daughter's life with every world that he was saying and yet still the bastard couldn't look her in the eye or even notice her existence in the far back of the wall looking at him with horror on her face.

"Your Mom…after you and Will they said…they said it would be risky but she got pregnant again. At six months they declared the baby girl stillborn, she delivered and then she died inside. You don't remember, you and Will were both too young to remember anything other than Mommy getting fatter and then getting thinner. Your mother on the other hand…she blamed herself, blamed me…and then she got…dark. And I worried that she might—so I asked her if she wanted to adopt but…

"You have a record" Jay said closing his eyes.

"She didn't know much about it but…yeah…so that scuppered that plan. So I…I knew she wanted another baby so I took one."

"You took—Jesus Christ Dad"

"You took me?"

That was Bridget.

Pat stared at her for a second.

"Yes. I…I didn't go to the hospital with a plan, or maybe I did…I…there are parts of that night that I remember and nights that I don't and…I wanted…I just wanted your mother to stay with me and she wasn't going to do that once she knew that I was the reason she couldn't have another child"

He turned then to Hank.

"For what it's worth it wasn't personal. I just…you were there…and you…it was easy in a way. I didn't expect it to work especially after I found out who you were. I thought you'd be down on me in days not weeks and then it was years and…and it wasn't personal. It was just the perfect storm"

And the thin line that had been keeping Hank's not so inconsiderable temper in tact snapped clean in two.

Actually he thought he had done rather well keeping it together this long.

"Not pers—not per—IT WAS PERSONAL TO ME YOU SCUMBAG! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT WAS LIKE TELLING MY WIFE ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED? WHAT IT WAS LIKE LIVING IT DAY IN AND DAY OUT? WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN SHE DIED NEVER ONCE HAVING HELD HER OWN DAUGHTER?, WHEN SHE DIED IN MY ARMS THINKING THAT AT LEAST SHE WOULD SEE HER DAUGHTER IN THE AFTERLIFE?"

Pat Halstead looked at him with eyes that showed no emotion. He either didn't get it or was too far gone to care either way. The lives that he had ruined in one night seemed to stretch onwards in front of them both and even now he was not sure what the hell was going to happen next only that he could see Camille's face go from joy to utter horror when he had told her what had happened.

"Does it matter? You found her" he said softly. "And it wasn't like I was a bad dad"

Jay snorted but mercifully kept silent.

"Well I wasn't was I?" he said defensively turning to his son. "Granted I did a lot of it for your mother but I did it nonetheless."

"At the funeral" Bridget said cutting across him. "When you said all those things was that because you meant it?"

Pat shrugged. "I lied for Mary. I gave you Anna as a middle name for the daughter that you should have been. It was over. I thought…the guilt came in waves in the early days but I lived with it. I didn't even think much of it when Jay said he was going into Intelligence. I gave you a home. Besides…it wasn't like you and I were ever close. You were always your own kid, you were…always on the outside looking in"

Jay snarled.

"She is family. She's my family, yours and Will's and Mom's"

Pat Halstead looked at him with something that might once have resembled sorry had it not been so twisted into something else.

"No Jay…she's not your family. Not ours, not like you and Will are. She's his" he pointed at Hank.

"And now she gets to go back"

"As if nothing ever happened?" Erin interjected disbelief colouring her tone. "You kidnapped a cop's daughter and you think what? You can carry on as normal. Swap her back when your board?"

Pat looked at her. "I know I am going to prison" he said quietly. "I have known that since 1996. I am not afraid of that. But I could have been a worse Dad. I tried to love her, and I did give her a good life. It just…there was no point throwing out a blanket when the secret was always there festering beneath the surface. There was no point changing a name…I wanted to hide it when my wife was alive but what was the point when she was gone?"

"You didn't think maybe your other children?"

"Jay's, Jay. Dependable, reliable, Will's…well I didn't raise weak boys."

"You didn't raise shit" Erin said shaking her head.

Pat shrugged.

"Did you ever love me?" Bridget asked quietly.

"Your moth—Mary did. Desperately"

She looked at him and Hank looked at her and suddenly her resemblance to Camille was so strong he thought that it was obvious who she was.

"That's not what I asked?"

He stared at her and she stared at him and then finally Pat Halstead sighed.

"No"

Bridget nodded. She didn't seem totally unsurprised by the answer and he found that his already broken heart shattered again for her. She didn't seem to realise or care that all along she had, had a father who would have walked on nails for just one glimpse of her.

"How could I love you Bridget? When you were already someone else's?"

Bridget said nothing.

"Does that make you feel better or worse?" Pat said as an afterthought. As if she was an afterthought, as if this whole thing was an afterthought.

Bridget looked down at her boots and then up again and that strange smile was still etched on her face.

"Nothing" she said finally. "It makes me feel nothing"

Pat nodded as if he'd been expecting that to be the case. For a man who had done an terrible amount of damage he didn't seem to see it.

"I'd say it wasn't you kid. But…"

Jay darted forward just as Hank did. Jay got their first…damn him. That being said as he knew from experience Jay could launch a good hit. Pat Halstead's head snapped backwards just the same way his had what must have been half an hour ago his had. Al dragged him backwards as Jay darted back.

"Nicely done" Erin muttered rubbing her partner's arm but Jay hardly seemed to hear her. His eyes were on his father and the look on his face was utterly terrible. Bridget had wrapped her arms around herself and was looking at the floor and he wanted to go over there and hug her, to hold her and let her know that it didn't matter what Pat Halstead had told her but he knew that if he did there was a very good chance she would start screaming.

"Okay" Al said softly. He had been watching the entire thing from the doorway. "Then I guess that makes you under arrest then"

Pat Halstead downed the rest of the booze.

"Yes I suppose it does" he shot Bridget another long look.

"So what are you going to do?"

She looked up from the floor at what he was sure was a rare moment of genuine interest.

"What?"

"Well it's over now. So what are you going to do? Do you even have a home to go to now?"

She gazed at him for a moment and Hank could see the moment when the events of today caught up with her.

Jay caught her before her knees gave out and suddenly she was sobbing as if her heart was being ripped out.

Or maybe it was his heart being ripped out.

He wasn't sure, it was all a bit of a fog though he did know that through it Erin had come and stood next to him.

Jay shot Hank a look that was filled with pure poison.

"She's coming home with me. And there' s no judge in Chicago that won't let her choose where she lives. Now we are going home…unless of course there is another part of our lives you would like to ruin?"

Mutely he shook his head. There was nothing really that he could do not really. His daughter, his baby was still not looking at him and though he had found her again, though he had done everything right he still felt like the monster she had looked at him like. The monster who had come in and ruined her life simply by telling her the truth.

God he felt sick.

Jay forced Bridget out the house.

"You'll have my transfer papers on your desk tomorrow afternoon" he said and before Hank could open his mouth and tell him that, that was not what he wanted. He was gone.

This was not his fault.

And yet…

Al arrested Pat Halsted. He assumed Erin took him home. She told him there about Olive Morgan but to be honest Hank didn't care. This time it was Erin's turn to hold him as he cried.

This was not his fault.

And yet…

She had known that something terrible had happened when Alvin came through the door. He told her in a monotone voice about the baby Bridget and she found a chair before her knees gave out.

She was alive.

Her best friends baby was alive.

Al poured her a glass of wine.

"How bad was it?"

"Bad. The dad…Christ he was dreadful. He just…he told her that she was a means to an end…and she didn't even seem surprised by it"

Meredith hissed. Camille had been her best friend and more than once she and Alvin had divided and conquered with the Voight's meaning he would deal with Hank and she would hold Camille when she cried. She had been there at the end with her as she chatted about seeing her daughter again and she'd been barely able to get through the funeral in one piece before she'd broken down in the car next to an utterly confused and rather frightened Lexie.

"And how is Hank?"

"Horrible. I just…I didn't want to leave him alone but I didn't want to stay. I just…it's like the night she went missing but worse. He's broken. Just as much as she is, and Jay Halstead's gone and put in for a transfer so that's another bit of icing on the cake"

"He must be suffering as well, and did you say that there was another brother?"

"Yes."

"God it must be hard for them. They wake up with their lives set in stone and by nightfall it's in pieces. Should he transfer?"

"No. He's a great cop. Hank doesn't want him too and believe me he had no idea—God if Lexie ever looked at me the way Jay looked at his Dad tonight I'd—"

"You'd never steal another person's child" she said dryly pouring herself and Al another glass of wine.

"No."

"So what happens now?"

"Well if Hank's hoping for her to move in that's a pipe dream. Besides she's sixteen no way does she go willingly. Pat Halstead either cops a plea or goes to trial but considering this case was weak as it was sixteen years ago and a lot of it depends on Hank and Bridget…" he shrugged.

"How does she look?"

"Look?"

"Like Cam or?"

"Meredith as God as my witness today she could have been Cam's twin. I just…I saw this coming…I thought there was something odd about her the second I saw her but Hank was adamant he didn't want to know and…god if I'd have just gotten a test…"

"You'd be in the same boat as you are now Al only you'd be responsible for it."

Al sighed.

"Jesus what a mess"

Meredith said nothing.

She was thinking hard.

January 14th 2003

Erin had taken Lexie downstairs. Lexie, little Lexie who had no idea that this was probably going to be the last time that she would ever see her Auntie Camille again.

They had not burdened her with the information that Camille was terminal. Al had asked her what she wanted to do and Meredith had said not to tell her. Lexie didn't understand the way it was. Anything more was too complicated.

"Meredith"

"Yeah honey"

"I need you to do something for me"

"Anything honey you know that, you need me to get Hank?"

"No…you know where he is?"

Meredith dithered. In truth she did know. Hank was doing what Hank always did in a crisis, trying to solve the unsolvable. He had been looking for the baby girl again. Al had told her and he had pulled a face when she had asked quite sensibly if that was the best use of his time.

"He wants to reunite them, he says, give her a chance to hold—well—before the end" was all he could say and it was only Lexie coming into the room with her stuffed bunny that stopped Meredith from bursting into tears.

She could lie. It would be the kindest thing in the world for her to lie to Camille and say she didn't know but they had been friends since they were teenagers. They had been friends before Al and Hank came onto the scene and she did not want to look her best friend in the eye as she lay dying and lie to her.

"I know he's out looking for Bridget"

Camille nodded. "I know too" she said quietly. "Which is why I need you to do something for me. And it has to be you…to put it on Hank is…too hard"

"Alright"

She lifted one hand and Meredith saw that it was pale and bony and like a spider and she had to look away her breakfast churning in her stomach.

Camille pointed to a small box and she went to get it. It was the same box that Lexie had, Al had given them to both of them and one to Sophie Ruzek when they had all been pregnant. Bridget's name was carved on the top. Inside the box was what looked like hundreds of birthday cards, letters and small trinkets. Stuff that a mother would pass down to her daughter right down to the bag containing emergency tampons and hangover cures.

It was so fucking Camille it made her want to laugh.

Right on top was a letter it wasn't worn as the cards were. It was fresh and Meredith knew what it was, she knew her friend had been waiting until the very end, a long time, a lifetime to compose that letter.

"I wrote that when they told me I was dying" she said as Meredith took out the cream envelope and closed the lid on Camille's hopes and dreams for her daughter.

"And…I do not know if when I die I will see her again. But if…if there is any chance that she is alive and she is reunited with Hank then…then I need you to give her this. So that she knows…she knows that she has a Mom out there that loves her. That will always love her, that died loving her. I need you to do this for me. And not tell Hank or Al about it"

Meredith stared at the letter for a second and then nodded.

There was not much more she could do.

Camille smiled.

"Would you like me to leave?"

"I just need to rest. I just…I just need to rest."

That night she had died and Meredith had sat in Lexie's room the letter in her hand watching her daughter sleep tears pouring down her face.

She had kept it hidden from Hank and Al ever since.

Except now.

May 2015

"—Dith—Meredith!"

She was jolted back to the present with a bump. Al was looking at her.

"I need you to do something for me Al and I need you to not ask questions until I've done it"

"Okay?"

"I need you to take me to Jay Halstead's apartment. And I need you to not ask me why. I will explain it but only when we are back home ok?"

"Okay"

"Good. Just…I just need to get something"

Jay opened the door to see Al and his wife.

"No…no we are not doing anymore now" he said firmly. "She's shattered. I'm shattered. It's…Al no…"

"I asked Alvin to take me here" Meredith Olinksy said cutting across. "He…I just…I need to give her something"

Jay tried not to smack his head against the door he really did. He had barely gotten Bridget home before she'd collapsed in a full blown hysterical sobbing mess. He'd wrapped her in his arms and had held her together for an hour and only then had he felt comfortable leaving her alone. She had gotten changed into her pyjama's methodically but she was curled up on top of the comforter not moving or responding when Jay came in. He had not had chance to speak to Will yet but he knew shock when he saw it and Bridget was in shock.

"Look Mrs—"

"Meredith please and Jay the last thing I want to do is cause that girl more harm. This has been handled…poorly…to say the least but I told Camille…no I promised Camille that I would do this and—"

"You promised her what?" came voice from the doorway.

He turned to see Bridget standing there. She looked shrunken in on herself and Jay thought about this morning when he had last seen her and how happy she had been, it felt like another lifetime ago, like he had been living a dream and now it had come to an end.

Now it had become a nightmare.

And Will was still so blissfully unaware.

"I…Jesus…you look…"

"You promised Voight's wife what?" Bridget said folding her arms across her chest and cutting across Meredith's stunned look. It seemed to snap the woman into action though because she reached into her bag and pulled out an envelope. It was battered around the edge but it had clearly been looked after. The writing was crisp and clean. It had one name on it.

Bridget's.

"That I would give this to you. If you were still alive. She wasn't…she wasn't sure you see when she was dying if she would see you so she wrote…I never read it, I never even told Hank she never wanted him to know but she made me promise to give it to you"

Bridget stared and then she reached out and took the envelope.

"I…look Bridget if you want to talk…I was your…I was Cam's best friend since we were your age and I know…I knew her better than even Hank did sometimes. If you want to talk or know anything or even just see some pictures then please don't be a stranger. Take your time but…but the offer is there"

Bridget stared at her suspiciously and then nodded.

She turned and walked back to her room the envelope still clutched in her hand. Jay knew that despite what she said it was going in a draw until she was ready.

"Sorry" he said because he could admit it was quite rude.

"No don't…seriously don't…Alvin told me…you have nothing to apologise for, you and your brother are just as much victims in this as she is…"

Jay snorted. That was one way of putting it. Though Pat had never cared about damage.

"What happens to him now?" he asked and Al knew exactly what he meant.

"He's been transferred to central booking, he'll be remanded in the morning probably. And then it depends on what the DA wants to do. Jay listen…don't transfer."

Jay snorted again.

"You think Voight and I can work with each other again?"

"He wants to"

"No he doesn't"

"Yeah Jay he does. He told me you had a place in his unit regardless. He knows that your innocent in this. Just…just speak to him, it doesn't have to be about Bridget or anything else just speak to him before you do anything"

Jay ran his hand over his face.

"Ok"

Al nodded. Perhaps he sensed that Jay was rapidly running out of patience because he gestured to his wife to leave and Jay finally got to shut the door on them. On it all.

Only there was one more thing he had to do and he hated himself for doing it.

Will picked up after three rings.

"Hey bro"

"Hey listen are you sitting down?"

"Why?" Will asked concern creeping into his tone. "Is everything alright?"

Jay felt a bubble of hysterical laugher build within him and then to his horror tears.

"No" he said wetly. "No Will, nothing is alright"

And there you go. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will do my best to bring you the next one sooner rather than later.

Next Chapter-Jay goes to work, Voight gets kidnapped, Bridget gets caught in the middle, Justin Voight comes home and the aftershocks are so severe that someone makes a necessary decision.