Hi, so here is another chapter and this is probably the longest one i've written and certainly the one that's had the most planning since this story began. I will keep this note short and sweet and you can carry on reading this entire thing.
Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine.
Please Read and Review.
And i do have other stories for this fandom in the works-I'd forgotten how much I loved it.
TRIGGER WARNINGS as usual-Enjoy.
What Lies Buried.
Chapter 11-Nostaglia's A Bitch
Jay goes to work, Voight gets kidnapped, Bridget gets caught in the middle, Justin Voight comes home and the aftershocks are so severe that someone makes a necessary decision.
May 2015
It had been a week and Jay was putting off the inevitable. He knew that because it had come via a text from Erin who had been constantly calling and texting. Most of the time it was easy to ignore except this time when she had said he had to get his butt into work otherwise she was going to come there and get him herself. The last thing that Jay wanted was his partner coming into contact with his sister and so he had said he'd come if only to drop the transfer papers on his bosses' desk like a man.
He was not going to send them in via post like a coward.
Bridget watched him from the couch.
For the first few days she had been like an infant and Jay had dragged her into the shower shaking and shivering. Then the shock had worn off and she had stopped spending all her time in bed instead sitting on the couch watching TV. Jay was not entirely sure that she was watching it but it was (according to Will) and improving sign.
His conversation with Will had not gone well. It had taken Jay an hour for him to tell the story and another hour for Will to comprehend it. By the time his brother had gotten over his shock, his horror, his grief and then his rage dawn had been peeking out over their apartment and Jay had felt like he had ran a marathon, gone on another tour and had gone to hell for a holiday and back all in the space of a week.
Bridget was sat watching him. Jay watched the dead eyes in the clean body and thought that he had never hated both his father or his boss more than he had done in this moment and he knew how mad that made him sound. For Voight had done nothing wrong except made it almost impossible for their lives to carry on as they had done last week.
"I'm going to go to work and then I'll come back" he said into the silence of his living room. "Are you…are you sure I can…"
He trailed off. What he wanted to say and what he was actually saying were too very different stories. He wanted to say would she be alright on her own like he always did. What he wanted to know was would she do anything stupid while he was out.
But she knew what he was trying to say.
"I'm fine Jay. Relax. I'm not going to throw myself out the window."
Jay said nothing.
There was nothing to say. Nothing he could say to make this better. Nothing he could do to fix it. Will had been all for getting a lawyer for doing their best for Bridget and their Dad and he had been all for coming home but Jay had told him to stay put. If this went tits up—which with his boss was a very good chance—then he wanted Will far away from the carnage, a safe place where Bridget could run to. He had not told Will that. His brother could not know that.
Then again his brother might already know that. Will and he had an understanding, it was silent but it was solid and that was Hank Voight was taking Bridget against her will kicking and screaming with the two of them taking whatever hits for her that they had too.
It was family. She was family.
And that was all that mattered to both of the Halstead brothers.
"I'll be back and look…if you want to get some sushi tonight…I'll try it okay"
Oh the things you did for love.
Bridget once would have laughed but instead she raised an eyebrow but there was a flicker of something in her mouth that might have once been a smile.
"Don't make promises Jay you can't keep" she said finally shifting a little in the blanket nest that she had made.
"I am going to call. And so help me Bridget when I call you will answer" he said.
She caught his eye and smiled though it was twisted and bitter and utterly fake.
"Sure big bro" she said turning back to the space of wall she was staring at.
Jay stared at her and then left. There was nothing else that he could have done and as he shut the door of his car he found that he was close to tears again.
The prescient was busy. It was still noisy when he went up the stairs but there was a small hush as he came in which told him that everyone knew. Cops were almost as bad as the military when it came to gossip and nothing set the place alight like a story like this. Ignoring all of them including Platt who had the grace to snap at the rest of them to get back to work or else and then he stepped upstairs.
To their credit Intelligence acted as if nothing was wrong. Well to the best of their abilities. Nadia took one look at him smiled and then looked as if she'd done the wrong thing. Antonio nodded at him and Erin smiled.
It was almost like it was normal.
Al was sat there.
Jay walked straight to Voight's desk. He wasn't in which was a good thing really though even he knew it was unusual. He was not sure that he would have managed to be calm and collected in front of his boss right now. It was a cross combination of terror, anger and absolute sadness.
Because Jay was not stupid.
He wasn't.
He knew that this was not Hank Voight's fault but still he could not deny that in thinking with his heart he had done exactly the wrong thing and now Jay was paying the price for his father's incredibly monstrous act and Hank's desperation when it came to correcting it.
Actually Bridget was paying the ultimate price but the reality was that he and Will were paying a significant price too.
He threw down the papers on the desk and then came out to see all of Intelligence watching him.
Well. If he was going to bite the bullet then he was going to bite it now.
"So…as you all know my sister is really Voight's daughter. My Dad is looking at life as well as being an unmitigated bastard and my sister is a catatonic mess on the couch. For those of you—" he shot Al a look.
"Who doubt that she is my sister I can assure you she is, has always been and will remain regardless. She's sixteen and we all know that a judge will listen to her. She's a…well…never mind but the situation is entirely my Dad's fault. And therefore because of that I have no choice but to transfer from this unit"
There was an instant uproar.
Had it not been so tragic Jay might have been impressed. Touched almost.
Oh who was he kidding? He was touched.
"Jay that's not necessary" Erin said looking as if she'd been smacked around the face.
"Jay man listen if Voight is making you—" and that was Antonio who was cut of immediately by Al who—
"Kid did you not listen to me a week ago when I said—"
"Look!" Jay said shouting over them.
"This is my kid sister! This is my kid sister and my Dad who believe me deserves all that is going to get but Bridget has to be my priority and do any of you think that Voight can honestly walk through doors with me covering my back after this?"
"Of course he can" Erin said looking hurt by the insinuation.
But that was Erin all over. Loyal to the last stand.
Instead he caught Antonio's eye who was looking at him with those eyes that told him all he needed to know. Antonio might give Voight the benefit of the doubt nine times more out of ten than he deserved but Antonio out of all the cops that were in this room right now got it more than anyone. What it was to trust Voight, what it was to fear him as well.
"Voight's not here—"
"No shit Erin"
"No. I mean Jay…he's not here"
And Jay got what she was saying. He was a detective. Come hell or high water he knew what she was telling him.
"Has he gone to see my sister?"
"I don't…I don't think so…he's…he's been off, I mean…he's…Al I don't—"
"I don't think he's gone after your sister" Al said quietly. "But I don't know why he's not here"
Jay reached for his phone.
It rang one, twice, three times.
Damn her.
"Bridget's not answering"
"Jay" Erin said as she was carefully thinking through each and every word. "Do you think that maybe…that maybe she could have gone to him?"
There was a long pause.
Jay worried his lip for a second thinking hard. He had left his sister on the couch in leggings and a jumper that had seen better days but had been decent. She had been presentable enough to leave the apartment and she'd had a week for the temper that she had inherited from Voight—Christ did that feel strange to say—and intensified by both him and Will and she was not above going into a confrontation wild and dangerous.
Thinking of Voight and his sister coming to blows was enough to make his knees week.
"Ping his phone" was all he said. "And then ping hers"
Erin was already on it.
And then that of course led to a whole other thing.
Bridget had not exactly planned it. But the second Jay was gone she was gone as well. She was not sure what was going to happen or what she wanted to happen but she wanted to go and get a few things straight.
In all honestly she did not even know if Voight would be at his house. The man seemed to live and die by the work ethic but she suspected that this time might be different. Or perhaps she had lost it. She was not beyond that. Right now she felt like she was going mad. Had it not been for Jay…had it not been for him those first few days then she would…well…she might have done something stupid.
Of course what she was doing now was also very stupid.
She got out of the cab and walked to the house. Bridget supposed it was a nice house. It would have been her house and that thought nearly sent her spiralling face down into the pavement. It would have been her coming home to this house from school and waking up in—Christ when she had stayed here had she stayed in what would have been her bedroom?
She gripped onto one of the railings and forced herself to breathe. Suddenly everything had just become very real and she was not sure what to make of it. Now staring at a house and a driveway and a yard suddenly everything had become real in a way that hearing the confession from Pat had not been.
God only knows what it was going to be like when she got in there.
But Bridget had never been one to run away from the problem but she wanted to run away from this one. Problem was that Hank Voight was not going to let her run away. She'd had a week and she suspected that his patience was running considerably thinner and the last thing she needed was a confrontation between her brother and his boss with the rest of the apartment complex listening in.
So she walked up the steps and knocked on the door.
She'd rather walk towards the gallows.
Nobody answered the knock but she twisted the door knob and was surprised to find out that it was open. She watched the door creak open for a second and then stepped in. She had no idea what was happening or what had happened but she knew Voight (she could not call him Dad—she couldn't even think it) and she knew that no matter what shape he was in there was no way in hell that he was leaving his front door unlocked.
"Voight" she shouted into the empty hallway. She moved past the kitchen dropping her bag on the floor and saw two cups in the kitchen and then she saw the open basement.
Naturally. Probably counting the money of some ill gotten gains, that or finding an unmarked gun to blow Jay's head off.
Bastard.
"VOIGHT" she stomped down the stairs and then stopped.
It took her a split second to realise that she was wrong.
It was Voight and two men and it took Bridget a second to realise she had walked into a robbery. It had thrown all three of them to see her she could tell but she found that she wasn't looking at them but at Voight who was looking at her with a very strange look upon his face.
If Bridget didn't know better (or thought she did at any rate) she would have said it was fear.
But then again this was Hank Voight, what or who did he have to fear?
"Well…well…well…" said one of the men who seemed to be in charge. Or at least was acting like it. "What do we have—" he never got to finish that sentence because Voight chose that moment to ram his shoulder into his face in what was a truly impressive move.
"Bridget RUN!"
That should have been enough for her to run but she stopped. There was something stopping her. Or rather some kind of feeling in her stomach that was stopping her. It was simple really. She didn't want to leave him alone.
The red headed guy made a move for her and she scrambled backwards up the stairs but he grabbed her leg. She had paid dearly for those few seconds of dithering around wondering if the man who literally killed people for a living needed her help because he grabbed her ankle and yanked.
She fell smacking her ribs against the wooden stairs and then he twisted on her bad knee and she screamed.
It took a second to get over the pain and then the training Jay had given her kicked in. She turned and with her bad knee that was screaming in agony she managed to get her foot connected with his face. He went flying and she scrambled upwards just getting into a good position to stand when she heard the yell.
"RUN BRIDGET NOW"
Yeah like she needed to be told twice.
She didn't even look back at him as she went flying through the door. Which on a bad knee was hell. She crashed into someone already standing there.
It was a woman with red curly hair who grabbed her arms her face was desperate.
"I'm sorry" she said pushing Bridget backwards "But you have to go back he's going to hurt my baby, you have to let them take you—"
"Like hell I do"
"No you need to go back please…"
Pregnant or not Bridget did not have the time to be polite. She brought back her fist and punched her.
Lightly. Ish.
She pushed past the woman who had sunk to the floor sobbing and had just pushed into the hallway when something or rather someone grabbed her from behind and slammed her into Voight's wall where a lot of photo frames were. She felt glass shatter around her and her foot found between his legs. He let her go that red headed man again but he pushed her into the coffee table and she caught her ribs on it going down. Instinct and a terrible training brought on by Jay (never had she been so glad that her brother had been a fitness fanatic) made her sweep his foot out from under her in a way that she really thought only existed on TV. She forced herself upwards and went for the door there was a banging as she staggered through it and a blinding pain in her arm and then she was running down the street and not stopping until she was at least several blocks away.
And lost.
With no phone.
Because that was in her bag.
She bent over breathing hard and then suddenly she vomited. The pain in her leg was intense and she was aware she was in a crop top and old leggings both of which had seen better days. She'd been in such a desire to see him this morning, to yell at him, to scream at him that she was his daughter despite the overwhelming evidence that she was, she had not bothered dressing.
"Well done, Bridget" she said breathing hard through her nose as she stared down at what had been the one slice of toast she could force herself to eat.
And then her arm exploded in pain. It was like once she had vomited the noise of the city had come back to her, the heat, the smell all of it. Including the pain. Her knee was exploding in pain and she was finding it hard to keep herself up. She leaned against the wall of an ally and slid down it biting her lip. Her ribs felt like they'd been kicked and she was bleeding from her head and from her lip. Her arm had a deep gash across it and she watched the blood drip down it. It was a graze but it didn't change anything.
She had been shot.
She felt dizzy and she wanted to go to sleep but Will the annoying prick had his voice stuck in her head. It was odd, it was usually Jay.
"You don't sleep with a potential head injury. Which you no doubt have. So you get up and you flag down the nearest police car and they take you to a hospital"
Christ both of her brothers—oh wait—did she even have brothers now? Wasn't that Justin her brother now?
The thought made her want to cry.
Somehow though she staggered upright. She didn't want to. It was warm in that ally and she was in pain and bleeding and it was a superhuman effort that she didn't think she had to stand and limp outwards onto the sidewalk. Her arm was killing, her leg was killing and—
"Miss can I help you? I'm a first responder do you need assistance?"
She looked up to see two guys who were honestly the best looking guys she had seen in a long time. One was blonde with cropped hair and the other dark and both were built like firefighters. Probably because they were firefighters to be fair.
Oh god her brain was going as well.
Perfect.
"Shit Sev she's bleeding" Blondie said looking at her arm. "Miss were firefighters we need to take you to hospital"
"Knee" she said finally. Her voice was like she hadn't spoken in days. "My knee it's…"
"Looks like shit" dark haired fireman said bluntly. Blondie rolled his eyes.
"Kel"
"Well it does. Looks like you've bruised it but we should get you checked out. Come on I've got a truck we can take you to Chicago Med. You got a name kid?"
Bridget took a second to appreciate what both Will and Jay would be saying if they ever got wind she was about to take a ride in a strangers car simply because they were cute and said they were first responders.
"Bridget…Halstead"
Both of them looked at her.
"Halstead, like Jay? Jay Halstead out of Voight's unit?"
"Yeah. He's my brother."
"Huh. Didn't know he had a sister"
"Dude I've been at Molly's twice"
"Yeah well…we have very busy lives"
"KEL. Can we not argue with the girl whose bleeding?"
"She started it—oh alright. Kid—Bridget do you have a phone?"
"No just…just call him"
"I'll call Erin. Matt start your car"
And that was how she ended up at Chicago Med.
It took her a second to realise that something was wrong. Jay behind her took in the missing safe, the blood and Bridget's bag discarded amongst the wreckage and simply tightened his jaw. Erin thought for the first time he looked frightening. She had always known that he was a frightening person but for the first time she could see what perps saw when they looked at him.
"Alright" Antonio said taking the lead—Al looked even more frightening than Jay did—and that was saying something.
"Whosever blood that is it's not enough for a life threatening injury. If Bridget or Voight were dead they'd leave them both here but the door's wide open so perhaps one of them got out"
"Hank's not going without Bridget" Erin said firmly. She was unsure of just what was going to happy next in the topsy turvy cycle of Bridget Halstead but she was certain of that.
"Bridget might run if he told her too" Adam muttered. "I think the best bet is that they have both of them. I mean there's tea here—"
"No" Jay said shaking his head. They all fell silent looking at him. "Look. I know my sister she did not come here to drink tea with Voight, she's out of the denial stage and crashing towards anger with full speed. Besides it's green tea"
There was a pause. Jay rolled his eyes.
"Look from the ages of thirteen Will and I every birthday and Christmas had to go and get tea. We know what Bridget likes and what she doesn't. She's a black tea drinker and believe me there's a difference though don't ask me what. She wouldn't touch that stuff and she'd tell him as much. So that…that mug belongs to someone else. So someone else was here when this went down."
Erin opened the cupboard. Sure enough there was black tea and she wondered just when Voight had got it. Tea was also Camille's drink and he'd thrown it all out when she'd died. She wondered if he had bought it just in the off chance Bridget might come round and she felt like crying. He'd been fine—well fine as he could be considering all that had happened (and this was Hank) this week but she wondered if there was a lot bubbling below the surface that he didn't even want to show her.
She closed the door. She had wondered coming into this how the hell they had gotten him out of the house. Now she knew why.
"Ok" Antonio said. "So…let's come up with a pla—" he was interrupted by Jay's buzzing phone. He took one look at the number frowned and then swiped left to accept the call.
"Hello?"
She was aching. But floating. Like a floating kind of aching. She was good to stand and good to run and good to walk and talk like a normal human being but Bridget was also loaded up on pain meds and had a nice bottle to take home with her. Her arm had been neatly cleaned, stitched and bandaged and her head cleaned of any glass and she was sat on the bed glad that the dizziness had gone and thinking to herself that she was a floaty achy kind of person.
Also she might be a little bit high.
"I WILL PROVE WHO I AM AFTER I HAVE SEEN MY SISTER YOU NITWIT NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY!"
Oh Jay was here.
Bridget thought he did not sound too happy. But she thought that was probably not at her.
Why hadn't anyone ever told her painkillers were this nice? No wonder there was an opioid crisis.
The curtain was ripped open and there was her brother standing all but seven feet tall and looking furious. Erin was behind him and Bridget was sure that some harassed nurse was contemplating a career change right behind the desk. But she didn't care. Jay was here.
And the fear she had been trying to keep down rose fiercely and sharply. She had left him there to defend himself. And granted while this was Hank Voight they were talking about she couldn't help but shake the feeling that she had done something so terribly wrong when she had listened to him and had ran away.
Jay looked at her and his eyes went wide. Bridget supposed that she did look like hell. She hadn't seen a mirror yet but she thought that if her body reflected on the outside the way she was feeling in the inside then she must look like absolute hell.
"Hey"
"Hey? Hey? My God what the hell happened—" he made to hug her but Bridget flinched as a spasm of pain flickered up her ribs.
"Sorry"
"No don't be. It's not you who should be…my God when I get my hands on this little bastard—"
"Two. There was two of them and they've got Ha—Voight"
"We know" that was Erin. "We know, we went to the house and we saw…well we saw. You up to telling us what happened?"
Bridget nodded.
"I went to…talk I suppose. I don't know I just…I wanted to tell him that I was staying with Jay and that I didn't…anyway there were two men in his basement. And a girl."
They shared a look.
"This one?" Erin said holding a picture.
"Yes. She's pregnant. And she was in on it"
"In on it? How?"
"She tried to push me back towards the stairs when Voight told me to run. She said they were going to hurt her baby if someone escaped but I punched her. And then the red headed guy grabbed me. I fought him off"
"You?"
Bridget rolled her eyes. She knew Jay's sarcasm was just because he cared.
"Yes me. Look did you find him?"
She already knew the answer. Deep down Bridget knew that there was no way in hell that they had found him if Jay was here and Voight wasn't.
"No. But we think we have an ID on the two men who took him. This them?"
Erin showed her two photos and she nodded. Quietly she left the room.
Jay sat down on the bed next to her.
"So you went to talk to him huh?"
"More like yell at him"
Jay snorted.
"I turned in my transfer papers today"
"I thought you loved Intelligence?"
"I do. I just love you more. And I don't know…I don't know how it works now me and him. How we walk through doors again when Pat…"
"How's Will?" she asked desperately changing the subject. Jay said nothing for a while.
"He got Pat a lawyer. Not sure what good that's gonna do but it's Will. He wants to come home but I said he should stay in New York for a bit. Bridget we've got to have a plan here. We've had a week—well he's given us a week but I don't think Voight's gonna give us more. There's a case now and where there's a case there's social services and lawyers and statements and we need to have a plan."
Bridget nodded.
"Justin Voight is on his way home" Jay said quietly. "I think the best course of action is when this is over you me, Voight and him have a talk about what comes next."
"I thought you didn't like him?"
"He's supposedly reformed. Look I can have Erin there if you want?"
"No" she said shaking her head. "No I don't…I just…let's just get this over with"
Jay nodded.
"Jay can I ask a favour?"
"What?"
"Can I come with you when you find him. I just…I…I'll wear a vest and I'll do everything you say and I…" she trailed off shrugging though it aggravated her bruised shoulder. She could not explain why she wanted to be the one there when he was found. She just did.
"Let me check it out first. You stay behind while we go in and then you can follow"
Bridget nodded.
"Did they give you pills?"
"Some."
"Good I'd say stay here but I figured you'll just sign yourself out so you ready?"
"Yeah…Jay…thanks for all those self defence lessons. Sorry I fucked up all that hard work you did on my knee"
Jay laughed though it was wet and Bridget blinked away tears.
She hated this.
"Don't worry about it. I'm just…I'm just so happy that your safe"
He hugged her then abet gently and she hugged him back. Erin to her credit gave them a few minutes before she knocked on the window.
It appeared they had a lead.
He had woken up into what could only be described as a box seat to hell.
And for someone who had thought he had been there a long time ago that was saying something.
Hank honestly didn't know what had happened other than the glaringly obvious. He was being robbed and more to the point the woman who was carrying his grandchild might be in on it. Oh and the daughter that he had just found out was alive who was also the sister of one of his best detectives (not that he was telling Halstead that) had also been there.
The second he had seen Bridget…or more to the point heard Bridget he had felt his blood go cold. Honestly as cold as it had done the night she had been taken from him and then there she was looking like hell—not that he had been doing much better if he was being honest—and then the red head had gone for her.
She had fallen and screamed and something inside Hank had torn apart a little. He had tried to get to her but it had took all of his not so inconsiderable strength to keep the ringleader away from helping the other one. Bridget had turned and kicked though and he had gone flying and then she had scrambled upwards even as he had been desperately trying to get to her and had ran up the stairs.
It was exactly what he had wanted her to do and he was relieved she had done what she had asked him to do. But that had not stopped the red-head from going after her. There had been a crash, a scream and then a gun shot and it had gone achingly silent.
Then he'd been knocked out and that had been all he remembered.
She wasn't here.
So that left two options.
One. She'd gotten out or two…
Two was unthinkable.
And yet…
They weren't acting worried. There was no fear, no concern that they had left a witness behind. That usually meant.
No.
The thought of his girl lying dead on his carpet a mere week after he had found her was enough to make him want to lie down and die himself. The thought of Bridget her dark eyes expressionless and empty and her body cold to touch blood pooling around her was something out of his worst nightmares.
Of course she could have gotten out and they just didn't care. That meant a whole lot of other problems for him and Olive but right now if Bridget got out then…
They took Camille's ring. And her watch.
The money didn't bother him. Hell it was nothing he couldn't make back. The case file scattered on the floor didn't bother him either or Jin's memory stick or the many other things that he had collected over the years. What mattered was the ring and the watch. The ring was for Justin. The watch was for Bridget.
When Camille had told him she was pregnant he had gone out and bought it for her. She had always wanted the Cartier Tank watch but his wife selfless to a fault had never spent money on herself. So when she had told him she was pregnant with their miracle baby he had gone out and got her the two toned one she had wanted so much. That had been a pretty great night too though now she was gone he was finding that all the nights with her had been great. She had wanted to give it to Bridget, he had wanted to give it t Bridget and though it had been in the corner of the safe gathering dust and probably in need of a tune up he had been desperate to give it to her.
And now it was gone.
There was nothing that compared to that.
Somehow, someway these bastards were going to pay.
They left Olive to die.
They had probably left Bridget to die.
And then suddenly Antonio was there. Jay was there. Erin was there and Jay looked at him with wide eyes and before Hank could even ask the question spoke.
"She's outside, banged up but alive"
And suddenly he could breathe again.
Bridget came through a second later Adam with an expression of deep frustration followed, clearly she had dodged round him and Hank took a moment to stare at his daughter his hands curling into fists to stop himself from reaching out and grabbing her to check she was unharmed himself. He had told himself—or rather Erin had told him—that he had to do this at Bridget's pace otherwise she'd run a mile but Christ it was hard.
And it didn't help that she looked like hell.
Half of her arm was wrapped tightly in a bandaged and her face was cut in places as was her hands. She was holding herself in a way that told him she was trying very hard to pretend that her ribs weren't hurt and he wondered for the briefest of a second where she had learnt to do that. Pat Halstead probably. It reminded him of Erin in those early where she had been trying to convince everyone and their brother that she wasn't hurt and it had failed…amazingly. But she had still tried.
"You ok?"
Bridget looked at him for a second and he could see confusion play on her face before that mask shuttered back down.
"Yeah. They gave me some pills"
He bit back his response which was to ask for details. Erin was watching and he could see the confusion on her face as well but he didn't know how to say that he was physically restraining himself from reaching out and folding Bridget into his arms and never letting her go again. He didn't know how to do this…Justin had been…easy compared to this. He didn't know what was acceptable and what wasn't.
Also he knew that if he did hug Bridget he wasn't sure if he could ever let her go again. He'd gone on such an emotional ride the last few days that he wasn't sure he could survive much more. Also he had a job to do as well. His daughter had almost died. His grandchild had almost died. The woman that he was pretty sure his son was going to marry had almost died.
Someone was going to pay in blood for that.
In buckets of it.
Bridget wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were on the scattered file at her feet and he really, really did not have the emotional scope to deal with that fallout.
Not today.
Not now.
Probably not ever.
It had been a week since she had been back in the bullpen and it was jarring how normal it seemed. Nadia smiled at her when she came in and her desk, her small desk was still the same only tidier. Voight stalked to his office and slammed the door shut and Bridget sat down on the chair feeling utterly confused and a little hurt though she knew she had no reason why.
It was just…he had barely even looked at her, for all his talk that she was his daughter, that he had never stopped looking for her he had hardly strained himself. He had given her a glance over and then had turned his attention to that bitch with red hair. Bridget had seen her begging and crying and had felt only anger that admittedly she knew Olive Morgan did not deserve. But it felt good to, it felt good to be angry at someone. Her feelings about Voight were so messed up that it was easy to be angry at Olive Morgan.
She had wanted to go over there and smack her again but Olinksy perhaps reading that in her face had gently directed her (by slinging an arm around her shoulders) away and had asked casually if she remembered anything else about the men who had attacked her. Considering that her answers had not changed since the first time she had given her answers (and the second and the third) she knew a distraction when she saw one but watching Voight stalk out of his office with his friend and say he was not going to be back for an hour was honestly a little hurtful. And she did not know why.
Actually she did. Voight had blown up her life insisting that they could be a family. Least he could do was act like it. She'd been robbed in the past week of all that she had ever known and now all she wanted to do was put her head down on the desk and cry.
Maybe Stillwell had been right all along. Maybe she was really just, simply unlovable?
Maybe even Jay was looking for an excuse?
"Err…Justin's on his way home. Voight wants me to pick him up from the airport should I—"
"Say nothing" Erin said sharply cutting across Nadia. "Voight will explain everything just get him here"
"Does he know?" she asked suddenly. Everyone including Jay looked at her but she was looking at Erin.
"Does he know about—"
Still she couldn't say it.
Erin's face creased in sympathy Bridget was not one hundred percent sure she wanted or deserved.
"Yeah he knows…Voight…I told him."
Great.
"Do I have to be here when he arrives?"
"No" Jay said firmly. "But…but until we catch these guys you should stay here. Nadia can text Erin when he's on his way up and you can go to the bathroom until he's gone if you want"
She was not sure what she wanted but Nadia was smiling and nodding and she supposed that was enough.
And the pain killers were wearing off too.
Fantastic.
Life was just a bitch.
Al waited very patiently until Hank was in the car and they were away from any civilians before he spoke.
"You want to know what happened then?"
Hank said nothing. He didn't have too really. Al knew him. He knew him like he knew the inside of his own service weapon.
"She got thrown across your living room but she fought Ian Marks off, he took a shot at her—"
"HE DID WHAT?"
"Calm down Hank"
"CALM DOWN?"
"Yes. Calm down. You have to go back into that bullpen and try and stop your team from imploding. Or did you not see what was on your desk"
"What?"
"Jay's transfer papers"
"His wh—I told him I didn't want him to do that"
"I know. I tried telling him that but he thinks there's no way you can have his back now."
"That's…that's…not true"
"I know. But the problem is the team thinks he's got a point. Antonio already think's you've asked him to go. To say nothing of the way it's gonna look to the brass."
"I don't blame Jay for his father and I don't want him to go. I just…I just want him, Bridget and me to sit down and just sought out where we go from here. Because I honestly—Al I don't have a clue. All I know is that I genuinely thought my heart was gonna stop when I saw her and then there was the gunshot and they didn't care…they just…they were so calm that I thought there was no way she'd gotten away because…and so I thought she was—"
He stopped.
He couldn't finish.
Al said nothing for a second he just stared out the window glaring what looked like a con-electric worker who looked rather unnerved. It allowed Hank to run a hand over his face and secretly wipe his eyes as well.
"She got out" he said carefully as Hank got himself under control. "And she ran into off all people Kelly Severide and Matt Casey. They took one look at her and whisked her straight of to Med and they called Jay. She's got some bruised ribs a really damned knee and a cut on her arm where the bullet grazed her. Other than that she's fine. Well physically. She's tough. She's a hell of a lot tougher than she thinks she is"
There was a pause.
"I don't want Jay to transfer"
"Then maybe you should tell him that"
"Yeah. Once I catch these scumbags"
And with that he put the car into drive.
Bridget was sat silent for a second and then she spoke.
"Jay. I need a painkiller"
Jay looked up from the file.
"Knee?"
"Oh yeah."
Typically as her big brother he had taken them from the nurses station. It wasn't a lack of trust it was more to do with the fact that he had seen enough kids spiral into addiction from one pill and she knew that he didn't want that for her. It was almost second nature for him to take the pills because it was second nature for her to take on the responsibility of parent. Hell he'd been doing that for the last six or so years.
He passed her the little white tablet of Oxy. Nadia stood and made an hurried excuse of making a cup of coffee and Erin followed her with a small sad smile.
Bridget stared at it.
"If I crush it and snort it does it gain extra strength?"
"No it's not some sort of superhero thing. Just…just take the damn pill"
Bridget shrugged and swallowed drinking from the water bottle. She was hyper aware that Voight was watching her from the door of his office. She was hyper aware of everything including the utter agony that was her lower right knee and the dull throbbing in her upper arm and side.
Trudy came up the stairs.
"Someone's here to see you Bridget"
"Me?"
"Well he said and I'm quoting 'The pretty girl with the nice legs who I didn't shoot this morning' so I'm guessing that's you. Says he wants to talk to you. Says his name is Ian Marks"
There was a pause.
"Brilliant" Bridget snarled and then she was gone even though her knee was in agony, down the stairs two at a time before Jay and specifically Voight realised she was gone. Trudy had left the gate open and she bashed it aside with enough force half of patrol looked around in alarm and Ian Marks lounging on the bench stood up with a smug grin.
"Legs…so glad I didn't shoot you—OW!"
He never got to finish that sentence because bad leg or not she had just kicked him so hard in the balls that he curled up like a hedgehog stuck in traffic whimpering.
Every man in the building winced collectively.
Men.
"You piece of—" her boot was about to connect with his face when someone bodily picked her up and dumped her to one side.
"Jay let me get a good hit on him!"
"Nah sis we need him alive. But I promise you if he needs any conniving about telling us where his partner is then you can do the beating. Hypothetically speaking of course"
"Bastard"
She didn't know who she was speaking about in this moment but the second Jay let her go a pain snapped up her leg and it buckled. She gasped in pain unable to stop the whimpering (which was really undignified) but someone else had already caught her around the middle and was sitting her down on the bench.
"Bridget you ok?"
Of all the people it had to be it had to be him. And he had to sound so utterly concerned. It was enough to make her want to cry and to her utter embarrassment she thought that she was. She closed her eyes before any kind of tears appeared and yet she was hyper aware that Voight's hands were still on her arms, Antonio was barking orders with Ian Marks swiftly removed as if he was a piece of rubbish and Jay was next to her and both were looking at her no doubt with enough concern to set her crying again.
"Yeah it just…hurts"
And wasn't that the bloody truth?
"Crap. I knew I shouldn't have let you discharge yourself."
"Jay you wanna take her back or?"
"No" she said interrupting them. "No it's fine I just…I shouldn't have ran down the stairs. Just…just go and deal with the case and I'll wait her until the drugs kick in…please" She added.
"Hank I think you should go. I can wait here, Jay go with"
That was Trudy and Bridget had never been more relieved to hear her before in her life.
"I'm fine" she said though her eyes were still closed and her hair was covering her face and she wasn't fine…oh she wasn't fine…
"Go"
Somehow they went and Trudy was gripping her by the arm.
"Into the office. Burgess get your ass onto that front desk and stay there until I tell you otherwise" she said firmly. Bridget opened her eyes only to be sat into a chair as the door was locked and the blinds were shut.
"Right it's just you and me in here. So feel whatever you've got to feel. I've got all day. And the only secrets I tell are the perps."
Bridget stared at her for a second and then she fell forwards put her head in her hands and cried for a long time.
Trudy god bless her said absolutely nothing.
Eventually the tears stopped. Trudy was not sure how much the girl had left in her. She seemed to be running on empty both emotionally and physically. Hank didn't seem to be much better. Trudy had done her best to try and curtail the gossip that had been flying around her but sometimes it really was like being a teacher in a high school. The Rookie's lived for gossip and the fact that Jay Halstead's sister was really Hank Voight's daughter was the most delicious thing to hit the rookies since…well…since probably Hank's arrest.
What had transpired at Pat Halstead's house she didn't know only what Erin had told her and Erin had told her it was bad. Al had not said anything only had given her that flat stare and now Hank looking as if he had aged a decade in the last week was walking around his kid as if on eggshells.
And the kid was a wreck.
"Sorry" she said wiping her eyes.
"Nah" she said with a small smile. "Don't mention it. Sometimes you just gotta get it all out"
Bridget leaned back on her chair and breathed out staring at the ceiling.
There was a knock at the door and then Roman looked like he wished he was somewhere else opened it.
"Eh Sarge. To be fair Nadia tried to drive him straight home but—"
"Trudy can you please tell me what the hell—oh—"
Oh for the love off!
Justin Voight was standing there. His gaze had gone from Trudy to Bridget and she had turned watching him with wide eyes.
"Oh" Justin said softly.
For a second brother and sister stared at each other and looking at them together Trudy catalogued the similarities. They were shockingly alike in this moment and not for the first time she wondered just how Pat Halstead had gotten away with this for so long. But then again…if Bridget had been found at the age of six…well…the trauma would have been just as bad if not worse.
God she hoped some bastard would make that man his bitch.
"Hi" Justin said softly.
"Hi—oh fuck" Bridget said and then she started crying again. Justin looked from his sister to Trudy with utter terror.
"Oh no…no look don't cry I just…"
Oh for the love off—
"No you" she pointed at Justin. "Back to the house and I'll send Hank to you go now"
Mercifully Justin went.
"Roman park your ass outside that door and so help me if anyone else comes in—"
Roman had already shut the door.
"Listen" she said leaning forwards so that Bridget was forced to look at her.
"Your good. Nobody's gonna shoot you for your feelings"
"It's a mess" the girl cried. Trudy privately agreed.
"Yeah. But…but right now you don't have to worry about fixing it"
"I don't want Jay to leave Intelligence because of me"
Trudy resisted the urge to roll her eyes with intense difficulty.
"He won't. Trust me."
She started sobbing again and Trudy couldn't just…despite her personal view on no personal contact—that girl in Greek Town whose father had been beaten did not count—leaned forwards and pulled her into her arms.
Bridget sobbed against her shoulder and Trudy rocked her back and forth for a long time like she was a baby until eventually the girl started choking on her sobs.
"Now listen to me" she said pulling back so Bridget was staring at her.
"Listen to me. Nothing that has happened or will happen is your fault. You do what you gotta do for you. Hank, Jay, everyone else will understand. But right now you've got to think for yourself. What do you want?"
Bridget stared at her for a second.
"I want to go home" she said finally.
"Ok. If that's what you want to do I'll have someone drive you back to the apartment."
Bridget didn't say anything but Trudy thought she saw an alarming glint of Camille in her eye. Considering Camille was the one responsible for giving Trudy two pregnancy scares back in the day—the woman could make a vodka martini that would have floored even the most hardened of drinkers—this was highly alarming.
But then again. Trudy had been wrong before. It was rare but she had been wrong.
Roman took the girl home. Trudy did what she told Burgess to do. She went into the bathroom splashed cold water on her face and told herself sternly that she had a job to do.
He didn't know how this had happened but somehow he had ended up back at the precinct and somehow he had ended up in his car watching his boss actually bring in the man that had robbed him, threatened his family and had nearly killed his daughter—not to mention put ten years on Jay in the process.
There was a knock at the window and he turned to see Voight standing there. Jay unlocked the car and pushed open the door and his boss slid into the passenger side.
"So you didn't kill him"
"No"
"Wouldn't have blamed you if you did" Jay said finally. "Not this time anyway. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw her."
"Good thing she had a brother who taught her how to defend herself"
Jay snorted.
"Jay"
"What?"
There was something in his line of vision and he looked.
It was his transfer papers.
"I don't want them"
He took them.
"You think we can work together after this?"
"You think we can't?"
Jay raised an eyebrow. He was too tired to continue this argument. Voight watched him for a second and then snorted himself.
"What…you think I'll let you bleed out so I can get custody? You think I'm that bad?"
"No. I just…this whole thing is such a mess"
"Yeah and it's your Dad's mess. Not yours. Not Bridget's"
"Yeah but Pat's not really cleaning it up is he?"
"No I suppose not…doesn't mean you have to. Jay look, I don't want to be the guy that ruins your life or your career. And now…I know there were a lot of ways this could have been done better. You're a good cop and a good brother and a good man. I just…all I ever wanted was my daughter. I never wanted to ruin anyone's lives"
Jay could have been the dick that admitted that Voight's bull in the China shop approach already had but he was too tired and too emotional to bother with it.
"I told Bridget we should have a talk. Will he's still in New York but I thought if we…If you, me, her, and Justin if you want just sat down and talked about this then…"
"Yeah" Voight said and Jay realised with a horrible sense of pity mingled with fury that his boss was just simply happy at the thought of Bridget coming round, of spending a couple of hours with her and he had never wanted to kill someone as much as he had wanted to kill his father at this moment in time.
"Look, come round about seven and we can just talk Jay. I promise you that's all we will do"
Jay nodded.
"And get rid of these" he said holding out the papers. "I want you in my unit Jay. I want you in my unit regardless. You're a good cop and God knows these days those are hard to come by. So just…your Dad's took so much, just don't let him take this too"
Jay took the papers and nodded.
"I'm sorry Hank" he said finally. "For what he did. I…for you and your wife and Justin and her and all of it. I am so, so sorry"
Hank said nothing but they sat in the car together for a while and Jay thought that his boss understood.
Of course he forgot that Bridget might have had had her own plans.
At least until he got home and it was painfully clear what his sister had chosen to do.
Olive was asleep, the ring was in his hand and his Mom's watch was on the table.
Justin watched for a second before speaking.
"I saw her" he said finally. "Bridget. I mean after we knew…I saw her before but…I don't think she liked me very much. And when I saw her today she took one look at me and started crying"
His Dad said nothing.
And then.
"She's tough."
"I know that. She's half you, half Mom. That's enough to make anyone tough. Just…what happens now?"
"I don't know"
"I mean does she come and live here or?"
"Justin I don't know"
Justin looked at his Dad and saw the signs that Erin had told him about. His Dad looked decades older than he was and like he had, had a couple of hours of sleep in the week and a half since it had all gone to shit. Hell Justin had been struggling and Justin had been away from it all.
"What happened?"
"I…I got it wrong. I…I took her to your Mom's grave and told her"
Justin thought about what that must have been like and winced.
"It will work out in the end" he said though it seemed incredibly optimistic.
His Dad said nothing. Justin really couldn't blame him.
"I'm looking forward to meeting her"
Again nothing.
"Pops. Can I just say something?"
"What?"
"I don't think giving her a five and a half grand watch is going to help matters"
His Dad blinked.
"Oh. Yeah I suppose your right"
Christ he was almost broken Justin thought, he had no idea what to do and that was frightening. The last time his Dad had looked like that Doctor Reybold had told him that no amount of money or chemo was going to cure his Mom.
Shit.
There was a knock at the door and Justin stood up and opened it.
He knew the Detective on sight through Erin.
It was Jay Halstead.
To his credit he looked like he really didn't want to be there.
And there was no Bridget in sight.
"Hi" Justin said opening the door. "Jay isn't it?"
"Yeah hi—Justin?"
"Yeah"
They shook hands and Jay eyed him for a second.
"You liking the Army?"
"Yeah" Justin said surprised. "You served?"
"Yeah Rangers, two tours. You out of basic training?"
"Yeah, thinking Signal Core"
"Nice" Jay said approvingly. "Listen if you need a recommendation let me know, I know some good guys who went into that."
Justin filed that away for future reference because that was actually really helpful.
"Cheers Man"
"You can shut the door Justin" his Dad said in that terrible dead voice. "She's not coming"
It was a statement not a question. Jay Halstead looked almost nervous and Justin noticed that he was clutching what looked like a brown paper envelope.
"Is—"
"No she's not" Jay said cutting across him and Justin chose that moment to shut the door.
Jay took a deep breath and then with the look of a man who looked as if he would pay good money to be doing anything but this he spoke.
"She's gone"
"She's what? She's…oh shit…"
Justin started looking at his Dad who looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. This was the second time he supposed that his Pops had found his daughter only for her to be gone. It appeared that worse case scenario had kicked in.
"Pops—"
"Hank she's not—she's gone to Will"
"Will?"
"My…our…our other brother. He lives in New York. She left a note"
He held the note out and Justin took it.
In neat writing was written.
'I'm sorry. I just…I just can't. Please don't hate me'
"Well she's concise" he said finally.
"I know she's gone to Will because Will told me. She got dropped off at the apartment and she grabbed a bag and just left…she's there now and Will…well he's a doctor so I suppose it helps. She…she just ran Hank, she's so overwhelmed she doesn't know what to do. It's what she did after our Mom—"
He stopped suddenly and despite it all Justin felt a terrible wave of sympathy crash over him.
"Is it…look Olive told me she may have pushed—"
"No Justin it's not that she's just…she's just overwhelmed. Look…Will, will make sure that she's safe and protected and she's looked after. If anything she gets away with murder when she's with me and…boss I am so sorry"
His Dad said nothing.
Jay held out the envelope.
"Look I…I realised today you didn't have any photos. Baby picture or anything. So I brought some, it's mostly me and her and Will and some of her and some of her with my Mom. Pat didn't bother all that much but I thought you might…I just…" he trailed off.
"Thanks Jay" Justin said and then what he wanted to say came out of him before he could stop himself.
"Thanks for everything"
What he wanted to say was a simple thank you, just a thank you for being such a great big brother. For being the big brother that he had wanted to be.
To his credit Jay Halstead understood.
"I'll err…I'll go and…and if I hear anything then I'll let you know"
Justin watched him go and he placed the envelope on the table and opened it. Staring up at him was a little girl of about five years old her hands smeared in paint grinning at the camera.
"I'll…er…I'll go upstairs" he said suddenly blinking rapidly. "And you can…I'll be upstairs Pops"
His Dad said nothing but just sat back down again his hands moving towards the envelope and Justin noticed that his hands were trembling slightly. He turned and walked upstairs and left his Dad to the privacy of his emotions and he looked down at all the memories that he had missed and the milestones that had passed and the mess that had been caused by the actions of one man who had put himself before anything else and who was now not even here to see the carnage that his actions had created.
Yeah, and there you go. Hope you enjoyed that one and I will do my best to bring you the next chapter sooner rather than later.
Next Chapter-Bridget is adjusting (almost) when Jay and Erin are sent to New York to work with SVU cracking a case involving Erin's brother. Voight also comes forcing Bridget to acknowledge her feelings and make some decisions about her future. TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THE SVU CASE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.