Chapter 32 - Dark Signs Ahead

Leaving Ron and Harry behind in the tent felt like taking a breath of fresh air apart from the fact that they were literally going outside. The truth was that, much as Harry and (to a far less extent) Ron were coming around to the idea of Draco joining them, it was only with Hermione that he could be fully open, fully honest, and free from worry about judgement. She had accepted him to such a degree that, beyond anything else in the circumstances around them, Draco knew that he could trust her and let his guard down around her—and it had become a necessity to do so, if he was being quite honest.

"Well, that went well," Hermione began, breaking the silence between them, her breath fogging in the chilly winter air. Her sarcasm and irritation—with Ron, hopefully—was all too evident in her tone, but Draco couldn't resist a bit of teasing, treating her words as if she meant them seriously.

"Yes, better than I expected," he said. Then, at Hermione's incredulous look, he smirked. "I think it was too much to hope that Weasley would be as openminded as Harry's been. For all that I haven't liked either of them for years, I will admit that Harry's always been quicker to see more possibilities, whereas Weasley's a narrowminded—"

"I get it," Hermione huffed, cutting him off before he could get a jab in at Ron. And though she herself also thought the redhead rather deserved it after how he'd acted today, a part of her still persisted in protecting her friend to what small extent she could. Because...after everything, that loyal Gryffindor part of herself still appreciated the fact that Ron had come back, that he had destroyed the locket—even if he wouldn't shut up about it—and that he was still sticking by them even when times were rough. Of course, the same thing could also be said for Draco...

"You have to get back soon, I suppose?" Hermione asked, though she knew that even if Draco didn't have anywhere to go it wasn't much of an option for him to stay for much longer—not unless they were prepared to have another confrontation with Ron, that is. With both the new term coming on and things now more dangerous than ever, it would likely be even longer until the next time they could meet face to face like this, and so Hermione didn't want to let him go. If only things weren't out of their hands like this, then maybe...

"Don't remind me, but yes, I do," Draco said, his voice becoming dull and uninterested just in that sentence alone. He was steeling himself for what was to come once many of the other Slytherins and professors came back to school, and though every instinct in him screamed for him to run fast and run far, he knew he would have to deal with it. For, not just Harry and Hermione, but his own family relied on him as well; though for what, he didn't know. Just last night he'd gotten an owl from his mother informing him of a new lead that the Dark Lord was following, putting him in "a better mood" to deal with Lucius. The message was vague but from what Draco understood, Voldemort was getting ready to put his father back into favour after almost a year and a half of disgrace. Whether Lucius was prepared to be up to whatever task the Dark Lord set him, Draco didn't know, but it was sure to involve his family in even more serious matters than before.

His mother, Draco had noticed, didn't seem to be happy at the development either, though of course Aunt Bellatrix, who had written an uncomforting "p.s." at the bottom, was thrilled.

Draco was just about to open his mouth and let Hermione know about the letter, but then she spoke up first.

"We all do what we must but I still think it must be hard on you," she said. "If it were me, I think I'd go mad having to pretend to work for him."

Draco sniffed in agreement. "He doesn't bother himself to check up on his 'prospective death eaters' at Hogwarts, though Amycus and Alecto Carrow are doing well enough in his absence. You won't recognize what Hogwarts has become when you plan on coming back."

Hermione shook her head. "That won't be for a while, at the rate we're going. We really do need some new leads, Draco."

"What about the Deathly Hallows that Harry keeps insisting on?"

"Oh, honestly! You don't believe that, do you?"

Having been brought up on such tales since his childhood, Draco knew better than to believe them; still though, if the Elder Wand should be real, then it would be an enormous aid to Harry and their side. For now though, their goal—his goal had to be concentrated on the horcruxes. More specifically, the horcrux in his aunt's possession.

Though just how Draco was going to find out more at this point, he also didn't know.

Sighing and with a quick glance towards the tent to make sure no one was watching, he wrapped his arms around Hermione and brought her into his embrace. Though surprised at first, Hermione quickly responded, holding onto his tightly as he soothed her curls with his hand. "It hasn't been long, but I think I've missed you," Draco murmured, so low Hermione almost didn't catch it. Almost.

Smirking, she pulled back a bit so she could look at him. "'You think'? Honestly, Draco Malfoy, if you aren't sure of what you feel towards me, by now, then—"

"We Slytherins aren't as direct as your Gryffindors are," Draco shot back, a smile tugging at his lips. "We like to leave a bit of mystery in all things."

"Oh yes?" Hermione leaned closer to him, smiling brightly. "Well, I'm very good at solving mysteries, you should know. Sooner or later, I'll uncover everything."

"Will you? I suppose you could, but then"—and Draco reached with one hand to cup Hermione's cheek, bringing her even closer—"what would happen to what's between us now? The 'magic', you could say."

"It won't fade. It's not that kind," Hermione promised, closing her eyes in anticipation of a kiss.

For Draco, that was exactly what he was afraid of, and felt it was often the reason why he felt the need to pull back, sooner or later. He knew he couldn't have it both ways—to bare his soul to Hermione and yet keep himself apart from her—but it was moments like these, when he lingered between the warmth of her presence and the coldness and darkness of his life away from her, that he really started to doubt whether he could do it at all.

Merlin, she really was too good for him.

Not that that stopped him kissing her as passionately as he knew how, crushing her to him and threading his fingers through her hair, wanting to feel her, feel anything that could take him away from reality, from what he had to return to. And when Hermione returned his passion in full, wrapping her arms around his neck and reciprocating with everything she had to give as well, Draco almost felt undone.

Pulling back only once they both needed hair, he stared at Hermione heatedly, smugly pleased that the desire in her eyes mirrored his own even while he knew that he was overstaying his visit and had to go. Darn it all, he didn't want to!

Detach yourself, Draco. Make this easier for yourself and focus on what really matters.

Except that Hermione did really matter, and—

No. Enough, Draco. Leave. Now.

Stepping back and breaking physical contact with her, Draco murmured a last "Goodbye" and then disapparated, leaving Hermione staring into the emptiness in front of her, almost as if he'd never been there at all.

But his kiss lingered on her lips, and Hermione smiled in memory of it. Little did she realize that it was all she'd have of him for a good while yet.

The nightmares came back that night, simultaneously with the arrival of students and professors alike on the midnight Hogwarts Express. Already, just from the presence of Amycus and Alecto nearby, along with dozens of eager Slytherin Dark Arts enthusiasts, Hogwarts seemed a different place, a bad place. Those who didn't dominate either cowered in fear or stewed in their own rebellion, most notably those who had once made up Harry Potter's closest friend group.

Not that Draco had time to pay attention to them though, as his own "friends" were quick to find him only the next day. As usual, their timing was bad, as Draco was just headed over to the library to do some more research on Hufflepuff's cup, see if he could uncover any additional information since he'd last looked. The day's lessons had been dragging and, in the case of Dark Arts, particularly grueling, so Draco needed the chance for some peace and quiet.

If only...

No sooner had he left his dorm and gone on his usual route, then Crabbe and Goyle stepped in his way. This was no accidental encounter, as usually at this time of day they were either in the Dark Arts classroom learning additional dark magic (more likely Crabbe than Goyle), or in the Grand Hall raiding the dessert table. They had been waiting for him.

"Draco, what gives?" asked Crabbe, who as of late, puffed up with his own importance as well as fat, was becoming more and more daring in challenging Draco. Goyle, ever the follower and never the leader, hung back, but also looked at Draco accusingly and in a hurt manner.

"What do you two want?" Draco asked, falling in the habit of talking to them as if he was their superior in every way, their natural leader. That was the last thing he wanted to be now, but no need to let them know it.

"Draco, we feel like you've been avoiding us, recently," Goyle confessed.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "You've hardly been back for more than a few—"

"It's been like that even before Christmas!" Crabbe snapped. "What's happened, Draco? You're always off to the bloody library this time, and when you're not, we've had no idea where to find you!"

Draco crossed his arms, leaning against a nearby column and staring at them in a patronizing manner, as though he had nowhere to go and all day to have this discussion. "And why should I explain myself to you? Is it for you to question where I'm going, or what I'm doing, for that matter?"

"You say that what you're doing is for the Dark Lord," Crabbe began, before Draco cut in.

"Which, again, you have no right to question." Uncrossing his arms, Draco stood up straight. "Unless you'd like to challenge me on it."

Considering that both Crabbe and Goyle thought their friend was a dangerous dark wizard and the Dark Lord's "Chosen One", they didn't dare.

"—b-but regardless," Crabbe pressed on, starting to lose some of his reserve. "This isn't like what you would have done before. We were always together, the three of us, Draco, and don't think that others haven't noticed!"

Draco simply shrugged, as if he couldn't care less what others thought.

Seeing that what he said made no effect on his friend, Crabbe shoved his hands in his pockets, looking put out. It was Goyle who finally broke the tense silence between them. "Actually, that's not why we've come to see you now, Draco. It's about something else, something that Crabbe heard Professor Amycus talking about."

That had Draco's attention, though he kept his expression blank, waiting for them to continue.

Crabbe looked rather too gleeful as he announced, "As of tomorrow's class, Professor Amycus has decided that the three of us would be perfect 'demonstrators' to show just what we've learned from him so far." He grinned, looking so unlike the usual empty-headed Crabbe that Draco knew, so that for a second he was actually wary of him. "He even said that we can choose our targets—though I'm still having trouble deciding whether I'd prefer Longbottom or Lovegood..."

If it would have done any good to refuse the request then and there to Crabbe and Goyle's faces, then Draco would have done so. He would have given any number of reason and excuses why he wouldn't, couldn't do it. As it was though, he knew that he even going directly to Amycus wouldn't help him at this point. Whatever excuse he made, it was sure to put his loyalty into question, and the last thing he needed was anyone looking into that and then dragging his family into things. They wouldn't even need to contact the Dark Lord—his father and especially his aunt were bad enough.

Therefore, his only hope lay with Severus, whom Draco demanded to see that very night once the Headmaster's watch was over. They met in the Headmaster's office quite late, with many protective charms in place so that they wouldn't be overheard. There, Draco pleaded his case as best he could and implored Severus to look for a way around it, make up any excuses necessary.

To his dismay, for once his godfather refused him, remaining unmoved to anything that Draco said. It was not because he did not sympathize with Draco, as the remorseful look on his face stated plainly enough, but rather, as he was quick to explain, it wasn't possible this time.

"This isn't the first time a concern's been raised about you, Draco," he pointed out.

Draco hadn't expected that it was, though he still wanted to know who had spoken out before—a professor or one of his fellow snakes?

"Whoever it was should know they can't do anything to me," he mumbled, unsure if he should feel worried or angry now that he knew for sure that someone was against him—not that loyalty could be counted upon among death eaters anyway.

Severus folded his hands on the desk in front of him. "As things stand now, that detail is irrelevant. What matters is that your loyalty is being questioned, Draco, and we cannot afford to have it be so."

'We'? Draco chanced another look at his godfather, and though he didn't see much beyond Severus's usual calm façade, he at least felt that his godfather was still on his side, that he wouldn't abandon him. Then...

"There is nothing I can do to clear up this allegation. That depends entirely on you at this point, and the best way you can put suspicions at rest is by acting as everyone expects."

Meaning...that he'd have to prove himself a coldhearted, bloodthirsty death eater, the same as the rest of them; he'd have to "demonstrate" his skills in dark magic on his classmates and pretend to like it. The thought sickened Draco more than words could express.

"Please...Severus. Help me."

His responding look, however, said it all: this time, Draco was on his own, and his fate rested entirely in his own hands.

Walking out of Severus's office that night, Draco already knew what he would do. Day by day, for as long as it took and in whatever way he had to do it, he had made his decision. How could he choose otherwise than to go through with what he was about to do?

Hermione.

Yes, she stirred at the back of his mind and for a moment, a brief moment, he allowed himself to feel all the longing and desperation that so drew him to her as he had never been drawn to anyone before. His Hermione, his own l—

But then, as if a switch had been shut off that prevented him from going over that precipice, turning him right around into what his life was, Draco never completed that thought. For to go there meant to go to a place of unbearable pain, guilt, and the fear that Hermione would never forgive him. All of those things would crumble his resolve and wind up killing him prematurely, he was sure of it. And, just like Severus, he needed to live, to do what needed to be done.

It should be known though, that a piece of Draco Malfoy ended up dying for every day onwards since that time.

A/N: *cringes* O-kay, fluffy beginning and morbid ending, but this was too good a plot point and I just had to include it in this chapter so that I could move us along in the plot afterwards. And, ahem, the chapter title does kind of warn you, so...

So, going forward, in the next chapter we're going to start off with a timeskip to approximately two months later-i.e. if you're following the Deathly Hallows canon timeline, that means March and...*drum roll* The Skirmish at Malfoy Manor! *le gasp* That's a big one! Ooh, and just in that itself I've got SO many things planned! Okay, so a bunch of canon things I will still be keeping in place, but I'll also be altering it by quite a bit based on what Draco's role is, eh. ;)

That won't be taking place in the next chapter, though I promise you that we are getting close to that exciting event! But first, I'll have to explain some of the events encompassed in that two month time skip from both Draco and Hermione's perspectives, so be prepared for some exposition on that before I move us on to more of the action.

I hope that readers are just as excited as I am to get moving on that though! Please follow, favourite, and review to let me know what you think in the meantime!