Not only did Smash Ultimate just release, but it's the time of year where everyone is either busy with work or with projects and exams. So, to help cheer anyone who's struggling up, this chapter includes bonus content. Enjoy!
Chapter 74: Surf's Up
~Rem Canyon~
The Gear-Com retracted back into Magearna's stomach compartment. She stepped toward the back of the tiny recess the expedition team had discovered carved into the right side of the trail. It would seem Team Radiance has run into an obstackle that is presently hindering their progress, Magearna declared. We cannot let that damplify our spirits, however. I suggest we proceed onward.
She looked out toward the path, only for Blaziken to poke his head in and shake it. "Everyone needs to lay low," he said. "I hear more voices. There are 'mons heading this way, for sure." He crouched down, positioning himself behind a boulder that hid the recess from the main path.
"Ugh. How long do you think we have to say down here? There's barely enough room to stand," Seraph said, pushing herself up against the wall. "Luxeira, so help me, if your tail jabs my belly one more time…"
"Sorry, but there's not much I can do. This isn't the kind of tail I can just stuff between my legs," Luxeira said.
"Then have Sticky hold it straight up," Seraph said.
"What, so you can stare at my ass? Not a chance," Luxeira growled.
"Please, this is about comfort," Seraph scoffed, flicking a paw. "I'm still sore from waking up yesterday and this ain't helping."
"What part of 'keep your voices down' didn't register?" Dusk hissed, silencing them. She turned to Comfey. "Yeah. That makes sense. If I had been there, maybe I'd have been able to calm Midnight down."
"I doubt it," Comfey sighed. "That whole kerfuffle was a huge headache. Not to mention it left me with a ton of work. I dare say it was one of my most stressful weeks at the guild… if not the most stressful."
"And I'm sorry you had to go through that," Dusk said, shaking her head. "Maybe had I taken Midnight seriously, he wouldn't have stormed off and found the guild in the first place."
You two aren't relatiated, are you? Magearna asked.
"Not as far as I know," Dusk said. "It's just a shame, really. He was such a sweet kid when he was a Rockruff. But thanks to my screwup… he became a gigantic headache." Dusk pawed at the ground, frowning. "I tried to set him straight, but it's clear now I was fighting a losing battle. Still, I'm never gonna stop asking myself if I could've done something to keep him under control."
"I want to know why one of these Totem guys would be so interested in him," Swampert said. "Especially if he went right from your village to the guild. I strongly doubt he ever came into this Mystery Dungeon."
"It sounded more like the dragons we heard were interested in someone else," Sticky said, rubbing his chin. "Comfey, didn't you say Team Fang has a dragon on it?"
"Yeah. Jangmo-o," Comfey said. "But if that's true, then that means he was a wild Pokémon who left this Mystery Dungeon."
Swampert blinked in surprise. "Wait, seriously? How is that even possible?"
I thought you were already aware Horizon's dungeons are not labyrinths that randomiscently reshape their structures? Magearna said. Our wild 'mons are one hundred percent real.
"Hey guys, the coast is clear," Blaziken said, beckoning the group out.
Seraph shoved Luxeira aside and scrambled for the exit. "Outta the way, outta the way!" she shouted, emerging from the alcove and taking in a big gulp of air. "Thank the gods! If I had to keep breathing in Houndoom musk, I don't think I would've made it." Luxeira rolled her eyes as she exited behind Seraph.
"Look, just because the dragons are gone doesn't mean you should start yelling," Blaziken said. "We're trying to keep a low profile, remember? It'll be a lot easier if we don't attract any unwanted attention."
"Yeah, yeah, I copy," Seraph said. "Why is it all the fire-types I know are such buzz-kills?"
"Did you happen to hear any clues about the Scalebound Shard, Mr. Blaziken?" Sticky asked, floating cautiously behind Luxeira.
"Not really," Blaziken said. "One of them mentioned something about the Totem readying a surprise for his 'know-nothing son.' I assume based on the scuffle we heard earlier that it has to do with Jangmo-o."
If the Totem is preparing something important, then most of the dragons should be preoccupidated, Magearna said. Which means this is the perfect time to press onward. She pointed a mechanical arm forward. Blaziken shrugged, then walked down the path. The rest of the expedition group followed along behind him. The path remained narrow, with spikes jutting out of the rock walls in shapes that resembled fangs sitting in a mouth.
"Boy, they sure know how to make some inviting architecture," Seraph said, shaking her head. "Seriously, has this place always looked so violent or did the dragons do this to appease their… I dunno… dragon gods or whatever?"
In the Horizon Continent, the Land Spirits are responsibatable for terraforming the landscape. They need to do it or else the ley lines underground would rip our continent apart and the remains would sinksend into the ocean, Magearna explained. She continued forward, not stopping to acknowledge Seraph's gobsmacked expression.
"Seriously? Geez, it's a wonder anyone can go about their business knowing their sitting on a gigantic death trap," Seraph said, throwing her arms up in exasperation. She glanced at Luxeira. "Do I even want to know what these 'ley lines' are?"
"Frankly, I have no idea how to describe them," Luxeira said. "I find it's best not to think about it. This world's much more magically-oriented than what we're used to. If you're going to survive, you'll just have to accept it."
"Huh. That's… surprisingly flexible of you," Seraph said, raising a brow. "The Houndoom I remembered got upset if our training was running even five minutes behind schedule." Luxeira looked away, happy her dark fur could hide her blush. She said nothing, not wanting to ruin the moment.
"If I had to offer you any advice, Seraph, the more you think about ley lines, the bigger a headache you'll give yourself," Swampert said, chuckling. "Luckily, you've got professionals working alongside you. We'll make sure you don't, like, get randomly swallowed up by some sort of time-space anomaly." He offered Seraph a big smile before continuing to follow Blaziken.
Seraph froze, eyes blinking slowly.
"Th… that can happen here?!"
~Circadian Coast, Daybreak Beach~
Along the edge of the shore, Tessa paced back and forth nervously. She paused to look at Gallian. "Are you sure I can't convince you and Zoroark to come?" she said, unwilling to leave her brother behind again after finally winning him back.
"Sorry, sis, we've got to sit this one out," Gallian said. "I can barely tread water for a minute. And with Zoroark's injuries…" He shuddered. "Besides, someone's going to need to patrol the beach and make sure no other 'mons like Clawitzer can get into the resort and terrorize the tourists. If Primarina really is behind all of this, somehow, I'm sure he's going to try and loop as many Pokémon from Circadian Coast into his crazy idea as he possibly can."
Tessa frowned, unwilling to concede the point. "Don't you think you need some backup, though?" she said.
"Kahuna Raichu's working on it, remember?" Zoroark responded. "I get that you're nervous, Tessa, but that's what your friends are here for."
Shane nodded in agreement. "The four of us have gotten this far because we've stuck together. Through darkest night and brightest day, Team Radiance always finds a way, right?" he said, giving Tessa a reassuring grin.
"I know," Tessa said, aura feelers drooping. She turned back toward the ocean and sighed. "We're really going to do it, then," she whispered. "We're going to Mantine Surf through stormy waters. Waters that," she gulped, "could sweep us away if we fall off."
Shane's tails curled around his hind legs. When she put it like that, he couldn't help but feel nervous.
"We've got to put our faith in Kahuna Raichu and the Mantine Surfers," Silvally said. "He boasted they're the strongest swimmers he knows. Besides, if we try to wait until tomorrow, it may be too late to do anything about Primarina. Those storm clouds don't look natural. I've got a hunch this is the only day we'll be able to make it to Sunset Shoals."
"Much as I hate to say it, the big guy's right," Espy said, her gaze fixated on the storm clouds swirling in the distance. Lightning flashed through them, sending a chill up her spine. "While I really don't want to get wet, I don't see any way around this."
"Sorry to keep you waiting!"
Kahuna Raichu zoomed toward the group on his tail. Cosplay Pikachu dangled off his back, having swapped her Audino poncho for one that looked distinctly like Kyogre. Comically-large blue sleeves covered up her arms. Jolteon and Florges trailed behind Kahuna Raichu, the former covered in bandages, with a medicinal leave plastered over the bridge of her snout. Three other Pokémon accompanied them: a Golduck, a black-gloved Poliwrath, and a Herdier whose mustache was caramel-brown.
"That's our backup?" Gallian said, his eyes flashing pink.
Zoroark put a paw on Gallian's shoulder, a disapproving look on his face. "We're happy to have their help," he said, his tone suggesting he was speaking for both of them.
"Jolteon's hurt, though. What's she doing here?" Silvally asked.
"I tried to keep her in bed, but she refused," Florges said.
"I've got to know what happened to Vappy!" Jolteon declared, wincing as she stepped toward Team Radiance. "If I can't go with you guys to Sunset Shoals, then you can bet your asses I'm staying right here so I can see Vappy the second you guys get back."
'Assuming we can even find Vaporeon,' Shane thought. What if it was already too late for him?
"Just promise us you won't overdo it," Silvally said. "Otherwise, you'll break Vaporeon's heart."
Sparks raced down Jolteon's bandaged fur. "I'm not going to let those crazy water-types sneak up on me again," she said. "By the way, Kahuna, what's your plan to counteract Primarina's hypnotic singing?"
"Well, I don't exactly have anything concrete," Kahuna Raichu said, rubbing the back of his head. "But between me and Espy, our group will have two psychics. I'd like to think we can block out Primarina's tunes with our ESP."
"I don't suppose Magearna gave us some sort of, I dunno, Geartronic Sonar Damplification Apparatuses, did she?" Shane asked, looking at Tessa.
"You mean something to cover our ears? No," Tessa said. "Though I'm sure if you pitched that idea to her she'd jump all over it like a Snorlax at a buffet."
"Drat," Shane said, flicking sand with a forepaw. There was no way they'd be able to navigate Sunset Shoals safely without some sort of countermeasure.
"In all honesty… I think the four of us should be fine," Espy said. She was met with a bunch of bewildered stares. "Why are you guys looking at me like that?" She paused. "Wait. Don't tell me you don't know about your scarves?"
Tessa grabbed the edge of her bandanna with a paw. "What about them?"
"Oh, gods… you mean nobody told you? Your scarves don't just have a rainbow pattern because it's pretty to look at… those scarves were made from feathers of Ho-Oh's rainbow wings!" Espy declared.
"Seriously?" Gallian gasped. He looked at Tessa. "Did you know about this?"
"No," Tessa said, tracing a digit through the scarf's fabric.
"Your parents really never told you about that?" Espy said in disbelief.
"All Dad said was that it was a gift from the Totem of Solstice Summit," Tessa said, digging her right foot into the sand nervously. "Mom certainly never said anything about it." She bit her lower lip. "Then again… back when you were fighting us, you kept trying to take the rainbow scarves, didn't you?"
"Y… yeah," Espy said, wincing. "That's because I knew they had Ho-Oh's life energy. The scarves can keep your spirits safely tethered to your bodies. Heck, the first time I met you, I hit you with an infection beam that didn't work."
"Wait, I don't remember that," Tessa said, stunned by Espy's confession.
"Because Umbry had me wipe your memories," Espy said, ears drooping. "When we got back to Celestial Island, your mom told us about the scarf. She cursed herself out for leaving it with you. The next time we attacked, the scarf had been split in half. And, well, now we've all got a piece. So, in theory, we should be safe from Primarina's hypnosis."
Her teammates sat there, processing the revelation. "Well, that's good to know," Silvally finally said. "But it's not going to mean much if we don't make it to Sunset Shoals." He stood up to look out across the ocean. "The water's growing choppier. We're in for a bumpy ride."
"Don't you worry, cousins," Kahuna Raichu said, floating up to them. "Pikachu and I will lead the group and find the safest route through the waves, yeah."
"Does that mean you're taking Mantines, too?" Tessa asked.
"Of course not," Kahuna Raichu said, laughing. "I'll be surfing across on Ol' Reliable, here." He leaned over and rubbed the edge of his tail. Sparks tickled his paw.
"Aha! You can learn Surf! I knew it!" Shane declared, hopping to his feet.
"Yeah, but he only knows Surf because he's the Totem," Cosplay Pikachu said. "It's been passed down through our family. Other Pikachus and Raichus can't learn it."
Shane's enthusiastic look deflated. "Aww, that's a raw deal. But at least we've got you guys on our side!" His eager look returned and he hopped happily in place, singing, "Everybody was surfing… surfing Chu-S-A! Ba-da-da-da-dah!"
He looked at his teammates, only to be met with blank stares. Shane slowly stopped hopping. "Aha ha… ha… sorry, got a bit carried away. Must be nerves!" he squeaked.
"Wait, does that mean Cosplay Pikachu is coming with us?" Espy asked.
"Why else would I be wearing my Kyogre outfit?" Cosplay Pikachu responded, smacking her stomach confidently. "By channeling the mighty sea god, I shall fell this foul storm!" she proclaimed, raising her paws up triumphantly. A small wave crashed into the shore in front of her, bringing with it a collection of five Mantines. "Ha, just as planned!" Cosplay Pikachu said, beaming.
"Looks like your rides are here, yeah," Totem Raichu said, waving the Mantines over. Each Mantine had a different pattern on the backs of their heads. The lead Mantine had the usual circles that almost resembled eyes.
"Is this the crew we're taking over to Sunset Shoals?" Circle-Head asked, looking over Team Radiance.
"You got it, cousin. These four, plus my daughter," Kahuna Raichu said. "I'll be leading us ahead."
"Actually, you can send one of them home," Silvally said, stepping up toward the water's edge. The blue energy blades in his head crest glowed brightly. "I should be able to get through this on my own."
"Are you crazy? Look at the water out there," Tessa said, gesturing in front of her. "Don't be reckless. We need you at your best."
"There's nothing reckless about it," Silvally said. He crouched down and leaped toward a point where the water became ankle-deep for him. Silvally landed on the surface, much to Tessa's utter shock. Ripples raced out from his talons and hind paws, keeping him steady as if he was standing on the shore.
"I… that's… uh… wow," Tessa whispered, blinking slowly.
"… tch. What a showoff," Gallian said, flicking a paw dismissively.
"Hey, are you guys just going to stand around or are we leaving?" Silvally asked, pacing along the water.
"Err… right. Coming!" Shane said, trotting toward the Mantine with squares on the back of his head. "Um, got any tips for staying balanced and stuff? I've never gone surfing before."
"Just keep your paws centered on my back," Square-Head said. "I'll take care of everything else."
"Okay," Shane said, climbing onto Square-Head. On his left, Tessa boarded a Mantine with triangles on her head. And to his right, Espy climbed aboard a Mantine with star markings on his head, while Cosplay Pikachu climbed aboard Circle-Head.
"Alright, is everyone ready?" Kahuna Raichu asked.
Tessa wobbled about on Triangle-Head, spinning her arms in circles. "Um, actually, could we have a sec—"
"Yup! Let's move out!" Cosplay Pikachu declared, pointing a paw forward. Circle-Head flapped his fins like they were wings, launching himself into the water. The other Mantines followed suit, the rush of water drowning out the startled gasps from Team Radiance.
"Follow me, everyone!" Kahuna Raichu shouted, hovering over the surface of the water. "Things are looking choppy up ahead, but I see a calm patch over to our right!" He shifted his weight toward his right and veered off in that direction. The Mantines all repeated the gesture. Shane yipped in surprise, his paws slipping off Square-Head's back. He leaned to his left to counter the movement.
"Oh, relax, Shane. We haven't even hit the rough waters, yet," Silvally said, trotting along the water beside Square-Head.
"I'd like to see you try doing this!" Shane whined seconds before Square-Head hit a sudden dip in the ocean. Water splashed over him, dousing Shane in the process. His mane fell across his face, covering up his eyes. "Aww, come on, seriously?!" Shane groaned, shaking his head. He expected to get wet, but not this quickly.
"Incoming wave!" Kahuna Raichu called. Electricity crackled across the base of his tail. As soon as he reached the bottom of the wave, Kahuna Raichu released the lightning, jumping over the shoulder-high wall of water.
"W… wave? Wait, how big is it? I can't see anything!" Shane shouted. Square-Head smacked his fins down on the water, propelling him skyward. Shane bounced off of Square-Head. "H-hey! Where'd my Mantine go? Help!" he screamed. Seconds later, his paws contacted Square-Head's back. However, Shane couldn't gain traction against Square-Head's wet skin. He slipped. Square-Head hit the water and Shane tumbled into the ocean.
"Squares, you lost your passenger!" Circle-Head shouted, Cosplay Pikachu standing firmly atop his back.
"Hoo boy… guess Ninetales wasn't kidding when he said he was a beginner," Square-Head sighed. He dove underwater, then resurfaced with a soggy Shane lying on his back, shivering. They weren't even two minutes in and he was already reminded of the swamp in Moonrise Marsh.
Triangle-Head swam by Square-Head. Tessa stood sideways on Triangle-Head's back, knees crouched, and aura feelers raised up behind her. "You doing alright, Shane?" she asked.
Shane spat out a mouthful of water mixed with slush. "No! I think I got water in my ears!" he said. He tried to get back to his feet, but slipped again. He sprawled out on Square-Head's belly. All the while, the two Mantines continued together side-by-side. They caught up to Star-Head. Espy glanced over her shoulder and nodded to her teammates.
"Two waves coming up," Kahuna Raichu said, funneling electricity down to his tail.
"Not again!" Shane groaned. Rather than try to stand up, he released two tiny auroras from his mouth. They froze his forepaws to Square-Head's back.
"Agh! What the heck's with the cold?" Square-Head said, flinching in pain.
"Sorry! I needed the extra traction," Shane said, tensing up. They leaped into the air in unison with the two Mantines by their sides. Shane turned to his left, where Tessa was leaning forward and putting a glowing palm on her Mantine's head. Square-Head hit the water, drenching Shane. His sopping fur fell over his eyes.
Shane had no time to recover as Square-Head took to the air once again. The rush of wind blew Shane's wet hair back. He saw choppier waters ahead, with whirlpools randomly scattered about. Riptide currents and waves scattered from the whirlpools' centers. Lightning flashed in the storm clouds above the group.
Square-Head splashed down. Shane whipped his head back, flicking his mane over his shoulder. Shane hastily reformed his icy footholds and got back up to his feet.
A sudden burst of yellow directed his attention in front of him. "Heads up, cousins, we've got company!" Kahuna Raichu said, frying a lunging Carvanha with lightning.
To Shane's right, Cosplay Pikachu blew a stream of water apart with a burst of electricity. She fired another bolt straight ahead. It struck the water, lighting up a spasming Huntail. It sank back underneath the surface. "They're coming out of the whirlpools, Pops. We've gotta stay clear of them," Cosplay Pikachu said, adjusting her Kyogre hoodie so she could actually see.
Shane blinked the water out of his eyes in time to notice a Tentacruel lunging out of the water. With a startled holler, he shot out an aurora. It struck Tentacruel's face. Tentacruel fell into the water. Square-Head swam forward, trailing behind the other Mantines.
Ahead, Tessa's aura feelers twitched. She pivoted atop Triangle-Head's back and rifled an Aura Sphere into the water. The blast flung a wriggling Gorebyss into the air. "You're going to have to keep your eyes peeled, Shane. These water-types are coming at us from every angle," Tessa said, turning back around as Triangle-Head veered off to the left.
"That's easy for you to say. You can actually sense them coming," Shane said, eyes stinging from the salty water courtesy of his mane.
"Another wave!" Kahuna Raichu shouted.
Espy's ears and tail stuck up. "Are you kidding me?! Look at the size of that thing! How are we supposed to get over that?" She was so fixated on the wave, that she failed to notice a pair of gunky purple balls sailing toward her position.
"Espy, look out!" Shane cried. She looked left, eyes widening. The purple blobs exploded in a shower of toxins. Silvally dashed over by Espy's side, blue eyes glowing brightly.
"Thanks for the save," Espy said. "But how are you going to get over that wave?"
"I'm not… I'm going through it," Silvally said. He raced ahead of Star-Head, making for the wave. Star-Head bounced into the air, jostling Espy about. Just as Silvally disappeared behind a blanket of water, Star-Head hit the water fins-first. This propelled both him and a startled Espy higher into the air. She yelped in surprise as her hind paws threated to slip out from underneath her. Espy hastily funneled psychic energy into her gem. She stopped her skid with her ESP, then yanked herself back into position.
"Head's up, Espy! Wailmers incoming on your right… and they're shooting off Water Spouts!" Tessa shouted.
"Wait, wha—" Espy started, only for a veritable downpour to strike her from above. She tumbled off Star-Head's back. Lingering water jets struck Star-Head's fins. He reflexively folded them against his belly, sending him plummeting down toward the water. Star-Head stood no chance of saving Espy from her freefall. She couldn't do anything but scream.
Two blasts of pink energy jettisoned the offending Wailmers from the crest of the wave. Shane scanned the ocean for any sign of Espy. He sighed in relief when he caught sight of Silvally bounding toward Star-Head, Espy draped over his back like a soggy pink towel. However, his expression turned to one of horror. The water in front of Silvally was swirling about in a circular pattern.
"Look out, Silvally! You're heading right for a whirlpool!" Shane hollered. A bolt of lightning suddenly descended on the center of the would-be vortex, dissipating it. Silvally leaped over a knocked-out Wartortle that floated up to the surface. He landed awkwardly, however. Espy slipped off his back.
Shane concentrated, scrunching up his face. A small pink bubble formed on the water, bouncing Espy back into the air with a surprised yowl. Star-Head plucked her out of the sky and glided down toward the ocean, flapping his fins repeatedly to slow his descent so Espy could regain her balance.
Star-Head turned right, rejoining the rest of the group. Silvally paced along the water, looking for any enemies that might try to snipe Espy again while her back was turned. A column of water suddenly shot him skyward. Silvally squawked, limbs flailing and head crest fanning out from the startling blow. Beneath him, the Wailmers that had attacked Espy bobbed in the water. Both sent water plumes skyward.
"Ugh, when will you lard buckets quit, huh?" Shane growled, narrowing his eyes. A pink explosion hammered one of the Wailmers under the surface, while a small orb of electricity from Cosplay Pikachu knocked the other one out. Silvally splashed down, only to resurface a few seconds later with messy plumage and a dazed look in his eyes.
"You doing okay, big guy?" Shane called.
"Aside from the part where I just swallowed a mouthful of seaweed, I'm peachy," Silvally said, blue eyes flickering in agitation. "Let's get a move on. If we stay rooted here too long, all the water-types will converge on us."
"Oy, that there's the kind of talk that's going to jinx us!" Cosplay Pikachu said, pointing an accusatory digit at Silvally. Right on cue, Tessa's aura feelers shot up and she looked behind Cosplay Pikachu. Two ripples appeared in the water, giving rise to two large Gyarados. Both wasted no time unleashing gigantic white energy beams.
"Hyper Beams?! Shit… abandon ship!" Shane yelped, turning around and diving into the water. Tessa and Espy duplicated the gesture, their Mantines diving underwater behind them. Kahuna Raichu raced off to his left, barely skirting the attack. A bewildered Silvally was left with no choice but to channel his ghost memories. He disappeared under the surface of the water with an unceremonious splash just as the Gyarados duo's blasts vaporized the water all around them.
Kahuna Raichu levitated higher into the air. "Not cool, fellas," he shouted. "What do you two think you're doing, anyway?"
The Gyarados pair responded with monstrous roars, their spittle drenching Kahuna Raichu. His face turned pale and he threw a paw up over his nose. "Hoo-man. Two words, yeah: breath mints," he said. Kahuna Raichu then electrocuted the Gyarados on his right. The blast even singed the other Gyarados.
"I've got ya, Pops!" Cosplay Pikachu shouted. A ball of electricity slammed into the left Gyarados' face, knocking it back into the water with a titanic splash.
"Everybody move!" Kahuna Raichu yelled, pointing forward. But Espy, Shane, and Tessa were too preoccupied climbing back on their Mantines, while Silvally doggie-paddled through the water, waiting for the right time to reactive his water memories. "Oh… that's not good," Kahuna Raichu said, ears folding against his head. "In that case…" He arced more electricity toward the dazed Gyarados on his right. This time it was ready, however, and met the lightning with gale-force winds that redirected it skyward.
Luckily, Cosplay Pikachu came to her dad's aid, striking the Gyarados with a well-placed lightning bolt. It roared its displeasure as it collapsed to the right, revealing that the other Gyarados was not only back upright, but had white-hot plasma charging up in its mouth. Before it got the chance to release its attack, however, three psychic blasts struck it in its head, neck, and torso. The Gyarados' attack exploded in its throat. It belched out a massive plume of smoke and sank into the water, groaning loudly.
"Now, hurry up!" Cosplay Pikachu shouted, directing Circle-Head forward. Circle-Head beat his fins, speeding toward Kahuna Raichu. Team Radiance followed along beside Cosplay Pikachu, with Silvally back on the water's surface.
"I can see the island up ahead. We're gonna make it!" Tessa cheered, only to cup her paws over her snout as her teammates whiled on her with shocked expressions. "Err… uh… I mean… we're in trouble, here… right?"
The water ahead of the group rippled. A gigantic wave rose up ahead of them, nearly reaching the heights of the Gyarados duo they had just felled. The Mantines all screeched to a halt. "That wave's huge! There's no way we're clearing it!" Triangle-Head cried, bobbing up and down in the water.
"Then we've gotta blast an opening in it, yeah!" Kahuna Raichu declared, charging electricity up in his cheek sacs. Cosplay Pikachu also crackled with lightning. "Everyone, get ready. We'll fire on my mark, yeah!"
Shane and Espy both narrowed their eyes, pink ripples gathering on their foreheads. Silvally's cheek bolts whirred to life, icy air funneling toward the tip of his beak. Tessa brought her paws together down by her waist, aura feelers scrunched as she concentrated all her energy down her arms. Even the Mantines hefted their heads out of the water, air swirling into balls between their antennae.
"Now… fire away!" Kahuna Raichu shouted, unleashing a huge burst of lightning. It met up with the electricity fired by Cosplay Pikachu, forming a gigantic yellow bolt. Two waves of psychic energy slammed into the bolt from either side, swelling it further. Then, the pink and yellow beam swallowed up Silvally's ice steam and the Mantines' air crescents. Right before the giant blast could meet the wave, a large blue fireball barreled through it.
A circular explosion parted the wave into two walls of water that collapsed on themselves. "Alright, it worked!" Shane cheered, seizing up to stop himself from foolishly jumping for joy and slipping off Square-Head. There wasn't any time to waste, after all. The group moved forward in unison. Just as they passed the spot where the wave was, however, the water dipped down in front of them.
"Oh no… another whirlpool?" Espy gasped, wondering what more could go wrong for them. She braced herself for Star-Head to go airborne. But rather than harsh currents forming, a large blue blob rose out from the water, stretching so far in either direction that it walled off the group's progress.
"That's no whirlpool, it's a Wailord!" Shane realized. "Cripes, we can't stay around here! What if there are more of them?"
Two pillars of water erupted several yards behind Shane, making his tails and ears shoot up. He slowly turned around and found an angry Gyarados duo staring back at him, their facial scars darkened by electrical burns. "Guys … we've gotta do something!" Shane screamed, jaw dropping. The Gyarados had nearly charged their Hyper Beams, which would spell certain disaster for the team.
Before anybody could offer any sort of advice, Wailord's blowhole erupted. A veritable tropical storm had formed over Team Radiance.
"Dive, dive, dive!" Tessa cried, grabbing hold of Triangle-Head for dear life. Triangle-Head hastily submerged, flapping her fins in a desperate attempt to get as far underwater as possible. Tessa squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will her aura vision on. However, all she saw was the inside of her eyelids. Her aura feelers curled up against her head, a sign that they refused to work underwater.
A quintet of splashes made Tessa's ears twitch. She forced her eyes open, gritting her teeth as salt stung them, and noticed different-colored shapes moving deeper in the water alongside her. Moments later, pounding splashes sounded above her, drawing up memories of nasty thunderstorms she hid under her covers from as a pup. Beside her, Silvally swam further underwater, his tail vibrating back and forth like a rudder in time with the movements of his legs.
The water around the group grew warm, with frothy bubble fizzling toward the surface. Silvally glanced upward, where faint white light vaporized the water at the surface, offering brief glimpses of the air above them. A loud cry of pain then sounded, sending ripples through the water that threated to knock everyone in the group off course.
Hey… can everyone hear me? It's Raichu, yeah, Kahuna Raichu said, his telepathy projecting through the water. Looks like the Gyarados hit Wailord and it's sinking into the water. You all need to pull up, now!
The Mantines all craned their heads toward the surface and beat their fins in unison. Silvally wasn't as fortunate, however. He stopped moving his tail and legs but his momentum continued carrying him forward. A great shadow fell across his head, casted by Wailord's sinking body
Silvally's eyes bugged out. Thinking quickly, the tip of his head crest erupted in a flash of gray light. Wind crescents raced out in front of Silvally. He came to a stop in the water, but kept up his attack. After a couple of seconds, the air blades propelled him backwards, safely outside of Wailord's shadow. Silvally didn't wait around to watch Wailord fall by him. He reached his forelegs up and doggie-paddled, tail oscillating back and forth.
After a half minute of swimming, Silvally broke the surface of the water, thankful Wailord hadn't crushed him to death. He channeled his water memories, focusing energy into his legs. His talons braced against the water, as if they were pressing against solid ground. Silvally got to his feet, sighing in relief at the sight of a sandy shore lying several yards ahead, with waves crashing up against it. He trotted to the shore, head darting back and forth to scan for any signs of further trouble.
Luckily, the worst of it appeared to be over. Silvally's claws finally struck land. When his hind legs were safely rooted in wet sand, he collapsed on his side. His breath came in ragged, salty pants as water splashed up against his open beak and lolled out tongue.
"Thank… the gods… it's finally over…"
Silvally rolled over to find Shane staggering ashore. His tails dragged against the sand, looking more like strands of wet tissue paper than a fluffy nimbus cloud. Shane's hair was a total mess, with part of it splayed over his face, some stuck to his ears, and other parts knotted together. Shane made it to the shoreline, stopped, and glared at Silvally. Next thing Silvally knew, a cloud of frost spread across his face. He squawked in protest.
"What did you do that for?" he asked, brushing ice shavings off his metal beak.
"For totally… jinxing us," Shane panted. "Last night… you said… knowing out luck… we'd wind up having to swim away… from a tidal wave." He gestured back toward the ocean. "Well, look what happened!"
"Aww, c'mon, that was supposed to be a joke," Silvally said. "Don't hold it against me."
Shane flopped onto his belly, groaning loudly. "Whatever. I'd like to make another motion. Next time… we recruit flying-types… so we can avoid this kind of bullshit," Shane said, legs throbbing in pain.
"Seconded," Espy said, stopping next to Shane and leaning over to shake herself dry. It did her little good, however, as she was so thoroughly drenched she looked more like a ragged pink Stoutland.
"All those in favor?" Shane asked, then rolled onto his back and raised a forepaw. Espy and Silvally repeated the gesture. Tessa, who trudged ashore behind Espy, shakily raised her right arm. "And all those opposed?" Shane said, before lowering his foreleg. He got no responses from anyone. "Wonderful… the motion carries. Score one for democracy and all that jazz." He laid his head against the sand. "I'm just… I think I'm gonna lay here… for a while… and not move for the rest of the day."
"You know we can't stay here," Silvally said, shakily lifting his head. "How do you think I feel, huh? I didn't have a Mantine carrying me most of the way."
"Yeah, but you chose to do that, bonehead," Espy said, tilting her head to the right repeatedly. A small amount of water trickled out onto the sand. "You could've had a Mantine Surfer carry you."
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a lot heavier than the rest of you. I was worried I'd hurt my ride," Silvally said, frowning.
"Then maybe you ought to go on a diet," Espy mused, licking the side of her left foreleg and brushing it against her head to smooth out her fur.
"Excuse me? Which one of us did Gallian say had a good physique, again?" Silvally said, sitting up to pout at Espy.
"My brother said what?" Tessa said, aura feelers shooting up.
"Hey, that's not fair. I'm a lady… I'm never going to be his type," Espy said, flicking her snout up indignantly.
"Ugh, seriously, guys?" Shane groaned, pressing his ears down on his forehead. "Look, you're both beautiful in your own special ways." Since he was still on his back, he couldn't see the incredulous looks he got from Espy and Silvally. "Can we put this issue to rest, now? I just want peace and quiet."
"Woo! That was quite the ride, huh?"
"Why did I even bother getting up this morning?" Shane sighed.
Kahuna Raichu floated up toward the group, with Cosplay Pikachu clinging to his back. "You all doing okay? Any injuries?"
"We're fine. Just sore… I think," Tessa said, rotating her right arm around while she held her right shoulder. "Yeah, I'm definitelygonna feel this tomorrow morning."
"I'm not sure what was up with all those wild Pokémon, yeah," Kahuna Raichu said, scratching his ear.
Silvally's expression sharpened. "Do you think Primarina hypnotized them?"
"How would that be possible? I don't hear any music," Shane said. "Now, I know this world likes to laugh in the face of basic physics, but I strongly doubt that music could carry through the ocean and reach the wild Pokémon underwater. That makes no sense. Actually, scratch that. It makes negative sense. Like, it's so ridiculous it sucks the sense out of everything around it."
Espy held up a forepaw, ears and tail twitching. "Uh, hold that thought, Shane. Everyone quiet down for a second and listen." Silence fell over the group for a solid minute. One by one, their gazes turned inland. The sandy beach gave way to a large rock spire jutting up from the ground. It was bright blue and filled with tiny craters and holes that made it look like an oversized piece of coral. There was a gap in the rock where a small, sandy path went up a short hill. A stream trickled down the middle of the path, spilling into the ocean.
Shane pointed his right forepaw at the gap in the rock. "So, you mean to tell me that Jolteon was blasted out of the dungeon, carried off by this stream into the ocean, and somehow made it all the way back to Circadian Coast?" he said, moving his forepaw along toward the ocean as he spoke. "That's bonkers. Something else must've happened to her."
"Well, she was already knocked out by then, so it's not like she'd remember," Cosplay Pikachu said, shrugging.
"Guys, be quiet!" Espy hissed. "Don't you hear that thumping noise coming from inside the rock?" She frowned at Shane, who shut his muzzle and clenched his jaws. After a few seconds of silence, his ears stuck up in surprise.
"Yeah, I do hear something," Shane said, walking toward the gap in the rock. As he proceeded forward, the thumping grew progressively louder. "It kind of sounds like… music? With a lot of bass?" He tilted his head to the side. "But that— wait, huh?"
"Wait up, Shane!" Tessa called, jogging toward him. "We can't just run into the dungeon all willy-nilly. We should come up with a plan!"
"Hmm?" Shane turned back toward Tessa, his tails twitching. "Oh… right. I wasn't about to go running in. I'm just… confused." He turned back toward the dungeon's entrance. "Why does that thumping sound like the subwoofers all the jackasses in school had put into their cars?"
"What's a subwoofer?" Tessa asked, raising a skeptical brow. "I mean, 'woof' is something canines 'mons do. But that sure doesn't sound anything like a chorus of barking Pokémon, if that's what you're insinuating."
"It's a human world thing, isn't it?" Silvally said, joining his teammates. "Well, whatever that thumping noise is, it's got some sort of regular pattern to it. Maybe there's a Belly Drum contest going on in there?"
"Please, there's no such thing as a Belly Drum contest," Espy scoffed, her tail flicking to her right.
"So, in the human world, we have equipment that can play music… like the Sky Jukeboxs. Only our equipment is a lot stronger. We can blast our music at such high volumes that you could go deaf by listening for too long," Shane explained, drawing alarmed looks from his teammates. "The thumping noise we're hearing sounds like the equipment humans use. But I have no idea why it's happening here. Pokémon shouldn't possess that kind of technology, right?"
"There isn't a need," Silvally said. "If you want to deafen a 'mon, that's what Hyper Voice or Boomburst are for."
"G-Guys," Tessa said, aura feelers sticking up. "You don't think Primarina trapped a bunch of Pokémon down there to use some sort of super-powered Hyper Voice, do you?"
"Um, well, if this has something to do with the Seaside Shard or the Prism Virus, I'd say anything's possible," Silvally said, eyeing the path skeptically.
"I think there's some sort of party going on in there, actually," Cosplay Pikachu interjected. Team Radiance turned to their right, where Kahuna Raichu was hovering a few inches above the stream. Cosplay Pikachu sat on his head, peering into the rock's partition. "You can't tell from where you all are standing, but I see colorful flashing lights up ahead."
"Seriously?" Shane gasped. He crept further up the hill. At the top sat a ring of sparkling rocks. They glowed with moving blue light that resembled waves lapping up against the beach. Like the larger rock surrounding the group, this small ridge had an opening through which a stream of water funneled out. On the other side of the ring, Shane spotted faint, different-colored lights popping into existence, only to disappear seconds later.
"She's right," Shane said, beckoning his teammates forward. They all joined him, looks of confusion spreading across their faces as they caught glimpses of the flashing lights.
"That's… odd," Espy said. "Does Sunset Shoals normally have flashing lights?"
"No. The closest it gets is reflected light moving around like what you're seeing on those rocks up ahead. Those colors are way too bright and vibrant, yeah," Kahuna Raichu said.
"The thumping got louder, too," Tessa noted, her aura feelers rhythmically contracting. "There's definitely music coming from that direction."
"On the other side of the hill is the dungeon's entrance. There's a downward incline and then you've got a series of underground basins," Kahuna Raichu explained. "Sometimes there are multiple rooms on a floor. I don't exactly remember how deep underwater the cave goes, but it's pretty deep."
"Great. More spelunking," Shane said, sighing. "I guess we should stick together for now and see what happens. Does that sound good to you guys?" All his teammates nodded in agreement. "Okay then. Time to explore Sunset Shoals."
Kahuna Raichu hovered in front of the group, directing them around the top of the hill. On the other side, they found a large tunnel opening, with a bevy of seashells embedded in the arch. The seashells flashed different-colored lights, though they paled in comparison to the much brighter light beams emerging from the tunnel. Tessa threw her arm up over her eyes.
"These lights are gonna be troublesome," she said, rubbing her eyes.
"I know, but the sooner we get it done, the sooner we can head back to the resort," Espy said. With a heavy sigh, she set off into the tunnel, the rest of the group following after her.
And now… for a special bonus!
This is an omake. Please don't take it seriously!
~Circadian Coast, Daybreak Beach~
Shane trotted across the sand, tails fluttering behind him and water flecking off his fur. A towel lay draped over his waist. He ran toward a bunch of Pokémon sitting under beach umbrellas. "Okay, okay, I'm here! What was so important, you needed to send Silvally in to drag me out of a shower, huh?" he said, looking around at all the Pokémon lounging about, chatting with one another.
"Tessa should be here soon," Silvally said, yellow tail wagging excitedly.
"Yeah, but she's not here now," Shane said, glancing back at his tails. "You couldn't have let me finish?"
"Shane, you've been showering for an hour," Espy said, rolling her eyes. "If we didn't pull you out, you'd use up all the hot water. Again."
"I was shampooing my fur," Shane whined.
The argument was cut short by a Sharpedo speeding toward the shoreline. Silvally turned around, head crest turning green and fanning out. Tessa clambered off her ride, a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. She jogged through the shallows and onto the beach.
"Welcome back, Tessa!" Silvally chirped, bounding over toward her. He skidded to a halt to avoid barreling into her.
"Hey, Silvally," Tessa said, craning her neck to nuzzle her friend's cheek bolt. "How are things?"
"Good, good. Everyone's been enjoying some lovely beach weather," Silvally said.
"I can see that," Tessa said, waving at the other Pokémon. "Hey, guys." She got a couple of nods of acknowledgement. Espy and Shane walked up to her.
"So, how was the fabled Smash Mansion, huh?" Shane asked, eyes sparkling. "Is it true they've got an all-you-can-dip chocolate fountain there? Oh! And what about the other fighters? Does Mario really dye his mustache? Does Luigi actually sleep with a nightlight in his room? What about Bowser's cross-dress—"
Shane's muzzle abruptly snapped shut. He went cross-eyes staring at the pink glow around it in confusion.
"For pity's sake, Shane, let Tessa have a moment to breathe, will you?" Espy said, shaking her head. "Sorry about that. You want some help with your bag?"
"Oh no, I'm fine," Tessa said, scooping the duffle bag up with a wince.
"You sure?" Espy said, frowning.
"Yeah. Just a bit sore, that's all. Let's just say Little Mac doesn't pull any punches," Tessa said, rubbing her right shoulder. "Um… maybe I should answer Shane? He looks like he's going to explode if you keep his muzzle clamped shut any longer."
Rolling her eyes, Espy released her grip on Shane's snout. He rubbed it against his shoulder, pouting. "Aww, c'mon, you can't blame me. Tessa's living the dream! How the heck did you even get called on to go there, anyway?" he said.
"Aha ha… I'm still a bit confused on that front. Apparently, the Lucario that had been there suffered some sort of injury. Something to do with Ken and Ryu and a 'Hadoken-Off," whatever that's supposed to mean," Tessa said, shrugging. "In any case, Master Hand heard about our penchant for ridiculous battles and decided to hire me." Tessa reached a paw up and massaged her throat. "Though trying to imitate a guy's voice is not fun. I swear to the gods, if I ever have to shout 'Max Aura!' again at the top of my lungs, I'm going to punch someone."
Her friends all stepped away from her, nervous looks on their faces.
"Otherwise, it was pretty interesting," Tessa said. "I mean, the place is much fancier than anything I've ever seen. It was… weirdsleeping on a bed." She held up a paw. "No, wait, scratch that, the weird part was the fact that the place was run by two giant talking hands! Like, I thought I'd seen everything in our adventures, but apparently not."
"What did you think of them?" Shane said, eyes brimming with curiosity.
"Master Hand's quite polite. And he's got such a suave voice," Tessa said, smiling and fanning herself with a paw. "Crazy Hand is… uh… well, the guy has a propensity for blowing things up." She rubbed the back of her neck, laughing nervously. "Slight chance he might've set Princess Daisy on fire a couple of times."
"Did you find it weird having to fight an Incineroar?" Silvally wondered.
"Err… it was a bit weird," Tessa said, fidgeting with her scarf. "But he was very nice! Said he's from a world where humans and Pokémon work together. His human partner studies Pokémon and apparently has a wrestling career on the side. What was his name again? Cukoowee or something…" She shrugged. "Eh, it's not important."
Oh, Tessa, you're back from the big production, eh? Perfectable timing!
Magearna approached Team Radiance, prompting some of the other beachgoers to sit up. Tessa walked up to meet her. "You need us for something?" she asked.
Yes. As a matter of fact, we just got a fanmail submistication for the cast, Magearna announced, brandishing a letter for everyone to see.
"Wait… since when do we answer fanmail?" Shane said, brow furrowed. "Hell, since when did we get fanmail?"
"Since always," Espy said. "We just tended to answer them without you since… uh…"
"… since you don't know when to shut up!" Togedemaru shouted from her spot sitting on top of a small sandcastle.
"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" Shane said, frowning.
"Didn't you see the note at the start of this? O-M-A-K-E. Nothing happening here makes sense," Togedemaru scoffed, adjusting her sunglasses.
"Okay then," Shane said, sweat drops trickling down his head. "I guess let's answer the fanmail…"
Magearna nodded. This one comes to us from a distant world, courtesy of little Cosmog Nebby. He says, "Dear Guiding Light Crew, I'm writing because I wanted to ask who your favorite Smash Fighters are." Magearna placed the letter in her chest compartment. I suppose we should start with Team Radiance.
Everyone looked expectantly at Shane. "Oh… me first?" he said. "Okay. My favorite fighter's Wolf, of course!" He paused to gauge the group's reaction, which consisted of several shocked expressions. "What's with the looks?" he said. When no one responded, he narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I see how it is. Just because I'm a fox I'm supposed to like Fox, huh? Well, nuts to that high-tier, scratchy-voiced loser. Wolf all the way!"
"Finally, something Snowy and I can agree on!" Lycanroc shouted, lounging on a beach chair and holding up a mug of frothy berry juice. "What a mistake it was leaving him out of the last game. I can't wait to tear you blokes some new ones with Wolf."
Beside Lycanroc, Gallian glanced at Zoroark. "Aren't you gonna say something?" he asked. "Wolf and Fox seem right up your alley."
"Nah. I'm a Kirby main," Zoroark said, scratching at his facial scars.
"S-Seriously?" Gallian gawked. Behind him, the ladies of Team Captivate all stuck their heads up to stare.
"Of course. Li'l guy's so adorable… I could just pinch his cheeks," Zoroark said, grabbing hold of Gallian's instead.
"Ow, ow, okay, okay, I get it," Gallian said, batting Zoroark's hand away. "You just… didn't strike me as the type. I thought for sure you'd like Meta Knight more than Kirby."
"Like you?" Zoroark said, smirking.
"Oh, get a load of the Brawl fanboy over here," Togdemaru heckled as she climbed on top of her beach chair. "I'll bet you're still sore they took tripping out of Smash."
"I can like Meta Knight without being a shill for Brawl, you know," Gallian growled, forehead scythe crackling with dark energy. "I'll happily give you a beatdown if you don't believe me."
"Uh, guys? What happened to 'let's start with Team Radiance?'" Silvally said, giving them a look of disapproval. Togedemaru slid back down in her chair, pouting. "Okay, Tessa, I'm willing to bet your answer's pretty obvious, yes?"
"Aha ha… well, I might be biased," Tessa said, pointing a digit at her face with a goofy grin. "I do wish Master Hand hadn't made me strike such an… um… interesting pose for my poster." She poked her digits together nervously.
"Are you kidding? It was a total hit," Shane said, tails wagging. "Everyone online is joking about how you stole Snake's ass."
"Phrasing, Shane," Silvally groaned.
"I think it was probably intentional," Hoopa said, stretching out on his beach chair. "Hoopa's caught him gazing longingly at the poster you sent back more times than he can count."
Shane's face went beet-red. "I… well… uh…" He turned to Silvally. "S-So, Silvally, who's your go-to fighter, huh?" he said, turning away to avoid the angry look on Tessa's face.
"Me? I like Shulk," Silvally chirped. "The Monado Arts are fun to use and it's really satisfying to land his smash attacks and smack the hell out of my opponents with a big ol' beam-sword-thingy. I guess you could say I'm… really feeling him!"
Lycanroc beaned Silvally on the back on the head with his now-empty mug. "That joke was bad and you should feel bad, mate," he said.
"Oh, lighten up, Midnight. This is all in good fun," Dusk said, patting him on the shoulder.
"Says the Jigglypuff main," Hoopa said, fighting off a snicker.
Dusk rolled her eyes. "Alright, wise guy. And who to you use, huh?"
"Heh…" Hoopa rested his head back against his hands. "Hoopa's a Joker main, naturally."
"Impossible. He's not even ready, yet!" Dusk said.
Hoopa pulled off one of his rings and spun it around like a basketball. "Well, Hoopa's been playing in a world where he is ready," he said, smirking.
"That doesn't even remotely make sense. But whatever, let's keep going," Silvally said, sighing. "What about you, Espy?"
"I'm quite partial to Lucas, actually. His animations are adorable and, of course, the PSI powers," Espy said, tail swishing back and forth.
"That's funny, because big brother, Lugia, and I all like to play as Ness," Latias said. She turned to nuzzle Lugia. "Isn't that right?"
"Ah, something like that. I'm just happy we're still getting some representation through Poké Balls, even after all these years," Lugia said, a laugh rumbling in his threat.
Concurrence. Fact: the best fighter is the one that summons me from a Poké Ball, Metagross declared from his spot sitting in the middle of the sand.
"But what if I don't want to play with items?" Latios said, frowning.
Fact: real 'mons use items. That's why they're in the game, Metagross said.
"You know that won't fly in the competitive scene," Shane chided, shaking his head.
I prefaced my statement with "Fact." It is indisputable. Fact: Smash contests that exclude items are illegitimate,Metagross said.
"Funny. He struck me as a 'no items, Fox only, Final Destination,' kind of guy," Shane whispered to Silvally. "Yo, Umbreon, you've got a Smasher that you like?"
Umbreon poked his head up from underneath his very large beach umbrella. "Dark Samus," he said, drawing sniggers from the other Pokémon. "Yeah, yeah, everyone laugh at the dark-type who picked the fighter with 'dark' in her name."
"In his defense, he used to main Samus," Espy said, giggling.
"As a Ridley fan, I don't see any shame with Umbreon's choice," Dragonite said, pounding her fist against her chest. "Samus is old news. It's time for bigger and better things."
"Of course you'd like a big fighter now that you're big yourself," Serperior scoffed, tossing an olive into her mouth. "As for me… I go with Zero Suit Samus, baby! Nothing's more satisfied than smacking foes with her plasma-whip." She lashed out at the air with her vines, nearly clipping one of Milotic's large eyebrows.
"Watch it, Serpy," Milotic huffed.
"My bad," Serperior said, leaning back on her beach towel and tossing another olive into her mouth.
"What about you, Milotic?" Togedemaru asked. "Wait… do you even have a favorite Smasher? You can't hold a game controller."
"I can manage perfectly fine with my eyebrows," Milotic said, wriggling them about. "Besides, half of you randomly button-mash when playing, anyway." Several members of the group looked away from her, whistling innocently. "As for my favorite fighter, I prefer someone with a touch of elegance behind their moves."
"So… Rosalina and Luma, then?" Latias wondered.
"What? No. I'm talking about Princess Zelda," Milotic said, smiling and touching her tail fins to her belly. "She moves about so gracefully and her magic attacks are practical instead of the lame, flashy kinds that someone like Palutena uses."
"She's also much nicer," Tessa said, brow furrowed. "Palutena kept trying to offer me this awful-looking food she called 'puppy chow.' And when Duck Hunt Dog actually took the food, Pit and Dark Pit started trying to feed it to me, too." She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out.
"Well, I hope you gave her a thorough whooping fer trying such nonsense," Braviary said, landing in the sand behind Team Radiance.
"Oh, hey, you're just in time," Silvally said. "Who's your favorite Smasher, Braviary?"
"Me? Hrmm…" He rubbed his chin with his wing. "Now, I reckon y'all expect me to say Falco cause he's a bird, too. But I ain't too fond of his attitude. Nah, Mario's my favorite. He's a no-nonsense, straight-forward, salt-of-the-earth feller. Plus, that costume of his with the stars and stripes speaks to me. Not sure why, but I feel a real connection to it."
"Feh. How plain. Even Luigi would've been a more interesting choice," Togedemaru scoffed. "At least Comfey prefers Dr. Mario."
"Alright then. Yer acting so high and mighty… why don't you tell us yer favorite Smasher?" Braviary said, staring Togedemaru down.
"Fine," Togedemaru said, adjusting her sunglasses. "It's Bayonetta."
A loud chorus of boos rose up. Serperior even chucked some of her olives at Togedemaru, who batted them aside with her tail.
"And you were chastising me for liking Meta Knight?" Gallian growled.
"Hey, Smash is a competition. If I'm playing, then I'm playing to win!" Togedemaru said. "You scrubs just need to step your games up."
"Oh, great. You're one of those 'git gud' types," Shane groaned, head and tails drooping. "Remind me never to invite her to any Smash parties."
"Agreed," Silvally said, frowning and shaking his head.
"Aw, c'mon, Bayonetta was actually fun to talk to," Tessa said. "I mean, yeah, it's kind of weird that she attacked me with her fur—"
"Hair. That was hair," Shane said.
"O-Oh, really? Okay then," Tessa said, aura feelers twitching. "So, um, Magearna… you want to answer?"
Ah, I'm afraid my answer is quite obviustate. Mega Man is my favorite, Magearna said, raising an arm and charging an aura sphere in it. I find that striking opponents with his charged buster boosts my satisfactifatory levels by 32.1 percent.
"Gotcha. Yeah, Mega Man's pretty cool. I liked his robot dog," Tessa said. "Though I'm not as fond of that creepy scientist guy you could summon from his world with Assist Trophies." She shivered.
Shane looked around the beach. "I think everyone's had a chance to answer. So—"
"Now wait just a minute! You're forgetting someone!"
Necrozma appeared in a burst of black smoke. With a frightened yip, Shane jumped into the air. He landed in a heap beside Espy. "Uh… h-hi, Necrozma. Do you… um… want to answer the question?"
"Hmph. I'll tell you who I don't like. That stupid, foolish Galeem!" Necrozma snarled, third eye flashing. "He totally ripped me off! Stealing souls and destroying things with light is my schtick!" He floated backward, thrusting his wings apart defiantly. "Honestly, I can't believe I didn't get an invitation! The adventure mode is called 'World of Light,' but they left me, the Devourer of Light, completely out of it! There isn't even so much as a royalty check in the mail for me!"
"Um, Necrozma, not to be rude or anything, but you should really know that Galeem was nothing more than a bunch of CGI that Master Hand and Crazy Hand threw together," Tessa said, fidgeting with her scarf. "None of that stuff actually happ—"
"I could've been a fantastic boss… even better than that blowhard, Rayquaza, in the Subspace Emissary!" Necrozma continued, ignoring Tessa. "But did they include me? No! I don't even pop out of a Poké Ball. Oh, but you know who the kids and teens will love? Rathalos! Sure, let's invite him. It's not like he hasn't been in a billion other crossovers already! And he's got barely anything to do with Nintendo!"
He lashed out at the air with his wings. "Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to be the only box art Pokémon not to feature in Smash whatsoever?!"
"Hey, that's not true. Master Hand said you're going to be a Spirit," Tessa said.
"I'm a Support Spirit!" Necrozma snarled. "I'm worthless! Nothing but a second banana while all the other big Legends get to be Primary Spirits!" Dark energy gathered in his claws. "Grr… as soon as I'm done here, I'm going online to rant about how much Sakurai sucks and how stupid his games are. Seriously, how long is he going to keep ignoring all the modern Kirby games? And let's not forget all the—"
"Oh dear… I think he's going to be at this for a while," Tessa sighed, rubbing her temples. "Let's just call it a day. Hoped that answered your question, Nebby. Thanks for writing in!"
I wanted to do something ridiculous to celebrate Smash. Then again, this whole fic is ridiculous, but somehow you kind folks are still reading and I love you all for it. Onto the replies!
SuperOmegaGuest: Destiny Bond could make him faint, but it wouldn't kill him or anything. You'll need something tougher than that, I'm afraid.
Anon Omega: those spoilers you're thinking of aren't really spoilers. HAL advertised the Three Mage-Sisters as playable. Heck, I used three of them to support Magolor in Soul Melter EX. Also, as you can see, Metagross is a Smash purist. He only plays the way Sakurai intended.
Another guest: the burrito part was a Twitch Plays Pokémon reference. I'm surprised no one commented on it. Your guess about the battle is certainly a good one. And HAL themselves acknowledge Magolor is an egg. If Kawasaki cooks Magolor, he generates eggs. Also, Zan Partizanne called him a "deceitful egg" on the Kirby Twitter account. Magolor replied by calling her "Parmesan Cheese lady." Basically, this DLC turned Kirby Star Allies into Kirby Meme Allies.
Phew. I think that's enough for today. Next time: we take a villainous detour.