Time to kick off the 2019 season. Things slowed down a bit to end off the year, but now the focus is back on Team Radiance. I had a lot of fun with this string of chapters, so I hope you enjoy!
Content advisory: this chapter contains alcohol and drug use. It's also the start of the three silliest chapters in the entire story, but I'm not apologizing for them.
Chapter 76: Party On, Shane!
~Sunset Shoals, Entrance~
Team Radiance walked through the tunnel, with Kahuna Raichu and Cosplay Pikachu following behind them. It was slow going for the team, with everyone preoccupied staring at the walls and ceiling. The occasional cluster of gemstones broke up the gray, crater-filled rock lining the tunnel. Each gem glimmered with a different color of light. The colors blended together, forming an array of circular spotlights that moved around the tunnel like it was one gigantic stage.
"Wow. This is, uh, colorful. Kinda hurts to look at it for too long, though," Tessa said. She cupped a paw over her eyes.
Silvally followed some of the colorful circles, cycling memories and repeatedly changing his colors. "I like it! It's way more vibrant and lively than the dank, depressing caves we've spent the last few days in," he chirped, fish tail wagging.
"Please. This cave's better because it isn't trying to kill us," Espy deadpanned. After a beat, she added, "For now, anyway."
"The thumping's getting louder, too. We're going to have to listen to that the whole time we're in the Mystery Dungeon, aren't we?" Tessa said, rubbing an aura feeler with her right paw. "If only Magearna had given us those sound dampening thingies she was working on back at the Observatory."
"… it's electronic music," Shane said, ears swiveling back and forth. "I've gotta give whatever's making it props. This baseline is pretty damn sick… even if I can't completely hear it." His teammates returned his comment with blank looks. "What, did I say something wrong?" Shane asked.
"More like nonsensical. What the heck's a 'sick beat' supposed to be, huh?" Espy said.
"Yeah. How can something that isn't alive get sick?" Tessa wondered, raising an eyebrow.
"Pretty sure it's another human expression," Silvally said. "Let me guess… it has to do with the music sounding pleasant?" Shane nodded. "Heh. Guess I'm getting pretty good at reasoning out Shaneisms," Silvally said, puffing his chest out.
"I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry at the fact that we're at a point where we need a name for his weird comments," Tessa said, shaking her head.
"Har, har, you guys are a real pack of comedians," Shane said. "Well, nuts to you three. I'm going to enjoy these sick beats." He stuck his tongue out at his teammates, then strutted to the front of the line, shaking his hips and swishing his tails from side to side.
Espy walked up to Tessa and Silvally. "Hey! Focus, you two! We've got trouble up ahead," she said, cracking her tail in the air like a whip.
Shane stopped dancing and looked down the tunnel. There was a small basin with a doorway leading into bright-pink fog. Next to the door sat a small, ovoid, dark-green rock with neon-yellow bumps protruding from its top. "What are you talking about?" Shane said, squinting. "There's no danger. All I see is a sea cucumber."
"No, that's a Pyukumuku," Tessa said.
"Gesundheit," Shane said, turning back toward Tessa.
"What did you just say to me?" Tessa growled, eyes narrowing.
Shane's ears stuck up in surprise. "I, uh, you sneezed, didn't you? That's how we acknowledge someone sneezed in the human world," he said, turning away to avoid Tessa's annoyed look.
Tessa rubbed her temples. "I didn't sneeze. I said that we're coming up to a Pyukumuku."
"See? You just sneezed again," Shane said, turning back toward her.
"Oh, for the love of—" Silvally shook his head. "Shane, that green rock is a Pokémon and its name is Pyukumuku. They're water-types that can spew their sticky insides at you to attack. It's… not a pleasant experience."
"Yeah, we get wild Pyukumukus washing ashore a lot. They sit in the sand… wasting away in the hot sun. So, we make a game out of tossing them back in the water so they can survive," Kahuna Raichu said. "We call it Pyukumuku Chucking, yeah!"
Shane blinked in surprise. Even with all the weird sights he'd seen in Horizon, that one caught him off guard. "Still, what do we have to worry about? There are six of us and only one Pyukumuku."
"I'd guess again. I count at least nine clinging to the ceiling up ahead, waiting to get the drop on some unsuspecting 'mon," Espy said, tail flicking back and forth.
Shane walked backward toward his teammates. "Why don't you guys go ahead, then? Since you clearly know what we're dealing with, here," he said, a nervous grin on his face.
"Gee… my hero," Tessa said. She led the group toward Yellow-Bumps.
"Whoa, hold up there!" Yellow-Bumps shouted. His white innards spilled out, forming the shape of a giant hand. "This here is an exclusive gig. If you aren't down with Primarina's Ultra Deluxe Medley of Magnificent Splendor then scram. We don't want you here! Or, better yet, surrender and we'll get you fit to party with our posse."
Shane had to fight off the urge to laugh. Ridiculous name or not, this confirmed Primarina was behind the mind control shenanigans. Shane figured it had something to do with his singing.
"Oh, we're totally down and ready to party till our legs fall off!" Silvally said, hopping up and down eagerly. "Isn't that right, team?"
Yellow-Bumps tapped the side of his body with his innards. "Ehh, I'm not sure I see it. I mean… I don't know what kinda 'mon you are, Beaky, but you don't radiate style. And a Ninetales that can't take the time to give himself a proper grooming is a disgrace," he said, pointing a white finger at Shane and wagging it.
The realization that a glorified sea cucumber said he lacked style made Shane seethe. He briefly wondered if this was one of the "bad trips" he had heard so much about back in high school. Before he could offer a retort, Tessa stepped in front of Silvally, resting a paw on her chest spike.
"Then we'll prove we can get down with your 'posse,'" she said. Tessa whipped her arm to her right, grabbing hold of Shane's left foreleg.
"Hey, what do you think you're do— wah!" Shane hollered as Tessa pulled him toward her, hoisting him up on his hind legs. Shane lowered his tails over his waist, looking nervously at Tessa.
"Showing that we've got style, obviously," Tessa said, shifting Shane's forepaws so that they rested on her shoulder. She raised her right paw up and snapped her digits, shouting, "A-one, two, three…"
Tessa wrapped her left arm around Shane's torso and put her right paw against his shoulder. They shuffled left, and then right. Tessa then spun to her left and used her paws to spin Shane around with her. Shane yelped as he tipped over and fell toward the ground, only for Tessa to catch him with her left paw. She yanked him upright and pulled him in close, smirking at him.
"M… maybe this is a good time to mention I think I have four left paws," Shane mumbled, face turning cherry-red.
Tessa ignored him, moving her paws toward his midsection. She squeezed him tight and thrust her paws upward. Shane yipped in surprise as Tessa launched him skyward. He spun around three times in the air. His limbs smacked his belly. Tessa caught Shane before he hit the ground. "Now, strike an end pose," she whispered.
Shane let his head and forelegs drape down and winked at Yellow-Bumps. Tessa turned and flashed Yellow-Bumps a flirtatious grin. The rest of the group stared at them, awestruck. Silvally's beak fell open in disbelief.
"Well, what did you think of that? Pretty slick, huh?" Tessa said, lowering Shane gently so he could stand up straight. She dusted her paws off against her waist, trying not to let her embarrassment show.
Yellow-Bumps stood there, his tiny black eyes blinking slowly. "Looks like I had you pegged wrong. Primarina's music is definitelyflowing through your veins. I ain't seen a two-legged and a four-legged 'mon dance together like that, yet." He hopped to his right. "Yeah, you need to get down there and start tearing up the dance floor, pronto!"
The mention of a dance floor made Shane's brow furrow. If Yellow-Bumps was serious, then Sunset Shoals would be another infected dungeon and Primarina would have caught the Prism Virus. Shane couldn't imagine what an infected Primarina even looked like.
"You got it," Tessa said, running a paw through her aura feelers. "When we're done with the dance floor, it'll be unrecognizable."
Yellow-Bumps' innards spilled out, taking the form of a thumb's up. "I'm-a hold you to that, Lucario. Primarina will be happy to have you lot on his side," he said.
"And we can't wait to see him in action," Silvally said. "Come on, gang. Let's get going." He trotted off into the pink fog. His teammates followed him, along with Kahuna Raichu and Cosplay Pikachu.
~Sunset Shoals~
Nothing could've prepared Team Radiance for the sight awaiting them on the other side of the fog. They emerged into an expansive, circular room filled with purple haze. Luckily, it was thin enough to let them see across the room. Coral formed the walls and ceilings. Smaller Pokémon sat inside openings in the coral, some exchanging pleasant conversation while others thumped their limbs along to the music, which had grown loud enough for Team Radiance to fully make out.
"Are those… lyrics?" Silvally wondered, turning to look at a large, sun-shaped speaker dangling from the ceiling. It sparkled with multicolored light, combining with the other speakers in the room to make a flashy rainbow on the floor. "I can't really tell what the song's saying."
"It's an electronic music thing, I think," Shane said, turning to marvel at a porcelain statue of Primarina. Glowing neon rocks surrounded it. The colors flowed through the statue and refracted onto the floor. It was like the statue was a giant disco ball.
"What do you mean?" Espy asked, joining Shane in staring at the statue.
"If I remember right, it's called sampling. Whoever's making the music takes a sample of something, like another piece of music or somebody talking. They then slip it into the song, but make it subtle," Shane said. His brow furrowed. "I don't think I'm explaining it correctly. Still, I want to know how Primarina's able to do that. Is it the music crystals? They can't be that powerful, can they?"
"Oh, hey there. You two just come into the party?" a Starmie with a green gem asked, floating up to Shane and Espy.
They exchanged nervous looks. "Yeah. We, uh, heard Primarina's singing and we just fell in love," Espy said. "We knew we needed to come here ASAP."
"Right on, right on," Green-Gem said, spinning his blue body around. "Primarina's big performance should be coming up pretty soon. For now, just kick back and chillax!" Green-Gem levitated a white pouch up in front of them. "You two want a little stardust? If you take it right before the concert, you'll have yourselves a heavenly time. I guarantee-hee-hee it."
Espy looked down into the pouch, noting the twinkling, multicolored powder. "I… uh…" Her tail scrunched up. She pawed nervously at the ground.
"As tempting as it sounds, we'll have to pass for the moment," Shane said, pushing the pouch away with a forepaw.
Green-Gem hovered in place. "Oh. Like, I get it. You two, like, want a little quality time together, don't'cha?" he said. "Yeah, like, stardust is great, but I hear it, like, takes some of the magic out of mating." He pointed his rightmost spoke toward a tunnel at the northern end of the room. "If you go down there… you'll, like, find the couples' lounge. Have fun!" Green-Gem turned and floating off, leaving Shane and Espy standing there, their faces bright red.
"Uh—" Shane started.
"We're not going down there," Espy said, flicking her snout skyward.
"A… absolutely!" Shane squeaked. "Wait… I mean…" He shook his head. "Let's just rejoin the others, okay?"
"Agreed," Espy said. They both retreated to the center of the room, where the rest of the group stood back to back, examining their surroundings. Cosplay Pikachu had swapped into a new outfit consisting of a red leather jacket with black fur on top, spiked armbands, sequenced black pants, a red belt, and a black shirt with a lightning bolt insignia.
"Man, this place is absolutely pumping," Cosplay Pikachu said, thumping her head from side to side in time with the music.
"Yo, nice moves, little Pika-dude," an Electrike shouted from across the room, offering a friendly wave.
Cosplay Pikachu flashed the Electrike a V sign. "Thanks, buddy!" she called.
A half foot away from her, Silvally stood close to Tessa, glancing around at the various Pokémon eyeing him suspiciously. "Tessa, I don't like this. Everyone's staring at me. What do I do?" he whimpered.
"Uh, I don't know," Tessa said, rubbing her shoulder. Her attention was fixed on a Smeargle with gray ears and a Hawlucha with a dark blue beak. Each of them held a glass brimming with fluorescent green liquid. Tiny umbrellas stuck out of their drinks. Blue-Beak held up his glass and winked at Tessa. She immediately stepped closer to Silvally, clinging tightly to his shoulder. Her aura feelers pulsated rapidly. "I'm not getting hostile vibes from any of these Pokémon. But I'm nervous," she said.
"Let's move forward as a group. Shane and I heard that there's a couples' lounge to the north. I'm pretty sure that's a dead end. So, let's head west," Espy said. She pointed a forepaw at the tunnel on her left, where a beige-fisted Primeape and pink-chested Politoed had disappeared behind purple haze. The group followed her along. They passed three crystalline tables. Each one had small coral fixtures on it, pulsating with neon light in time to the music playing. The tables had bowls filled with berries that were luminescent like the coral.
At the last table, a Smoochum with hot-pink lips stood in front of a punch bowl filled with fizzling, bright-pink juice. She used a ladle to scoop up some juice and pour it into her cup. Pink-Lips downed the glass in one quick chug, then sank to the ground, sighing contently. Tessa cringed at the sight. "What do you think they're putting in that stuff?" she whispered to Shane.
"I don't know, but it seems pretty potent," Shane said, brow furrowed. These sights were making him feel like he was in the middle of a party scene from one of many teen movies his sisters dragged him to. Shane bit his lower lip. What would make Pokémon act like they were at a human party? Because Shane didn't think Primarina's hypnosis could do this.
A Machoke with a navy belt popped up behind the juice table. "Ha! That's a good one, Lucario," Navy-Belt said, pounding his belly as he laughed. "If y'all are here for the concert, you know we're packing the concessions with stardust!" Navy-Belt opened his right hand, spreading multicolored dust over the punch bowl. He stirred the contents around with the ladle. "After all, we've gotta get our strength up so Primarina's songs can supercharge us to take down the Prism Virus!"
"Take down… the Prism Virus?" Espy gasped, double-taking at the punch while her tail curled up against her flank.
Navy-Belt narrowed his eyes at Team Radiance. "Wait a tic. You lot meaning to tell me you don't realize this is Primarina's Ultra Deluxe World-Rallying Concert? Then what are you doing here, huh?" He leaned over on the table, digging his fingers into the crystals. "Don't tell me you all… are party-crashers?"
Numerous angry expressions turned in Team Radiance's direction. "Did someone say party-crashers?" a white-finned Finneon gasped.
"N-no, no, no!" Shane said, jumping in front of his teammates. "You've got it all wrong. We're totally down with Primarina's groove. In fact… uh…" His tails curled up. "We were so enamored with it we kind of zoned out. Because this beat is positively thumping!" He swished his mane over his shoulder. "Yeah, this is the kind of tune you could drop a Knuckles Rap to and everything!"
Tessa's eyes widened. "Shane, what are you doing? You're gonna give us away," she hissed in a whisper.
"I need you to trust me. I think I know what's going on, here," Shane whispered back.
Navy-Belt blinked in surprise. "What d'ya mean by 'Knuckles Rap,' huh?"
Shane feigned shock by letting his jaw drop. "You mean you don't know? I guess you're not as down with Primarina's beats as you thought you were," Shane said.
"Oh yeah? You're such a blowhard, show us what you mean," Navy-Belt said. He turned to the crowd of onlookers. "Am I right, gang?"
"Yeah!" they cheered in unison.
"Fine," Shane said, fanning out his tails and strutting forward. "Prepare to be amazed." He cleared his throat, silently praying his brain not to let him down. Shane tapped a forepaw to the beat of the song and bobbed his head up and down.
"Yo, this is your boy, Shane.
We're kicking it down in Sunset Shoals!
Got my friends at my back.
Our bonds are pure as gold!
Prism Virus… is what we seek to stop.
So we're chilling out, waiting for the concert to pop!
Team Ra-di-ance, that's my gang's name.
Here to bask in Team Harmony's fame!"
Silvally cocked his head to the side. "For pity's sake, what is he doing?"
"I… have no idea," Espy said, watching Shane shake his mane out from side to side. "Even by Shane's standards, I'm speechless." But as she looked at the other Pokémon gathered around their team, she saw looks of interest on their faces. Some were tapping legs or tails in time with Shane's lyrics, while others bobbed their heads with him.
"Our moves can't be beat.
You might call 'em obscene.
We can bring the heat.
We're battling machines!
Prism Virus, look out.
You treading on thin ice,
Like a weak-ass 'Karp,
Your attacks won't suffice.
We're bringing Lucario power,
Flinging Aura Spheres left and right.
With Primarina supercharging us,
Our foes will drop before our might!"
"Hey, what are you dragging me into this for?" Tessa said, aura feelers shooting up in alarm.
A pink glow encircled her muzzle, which then clamped shut. "Quiet," Espy said, holding up a forepaw. "Whatever he's doing, it's actually working." She pointed across the room, where the Finneon that had gotten on their case earlier was now waving her fins in time with the music. Behind her, two Lumineons with glowing purple stripes on their bodies raised their fins and waved along with their unevolved friend.
"Uh, why don't you guys stay with your friend, yeah? Pikachu and I are going to scope out the place we were trying to get to earlier," Kahuna Raichu whispered. He hoisted Cosplay Pikachu onto his shoulder and slowly hovered back from the circle gathering around Shane. In the process, he almost bumped into Silvally, who stared alluringly at Shane, his eyes slowly moving back and forth in time with Shane's tails.
"Been walking around Horizon,
Searching day after day.
For the perfect solution,
To make our troubles go away!
It's been a real struggle, yeah,
Pushing our team to the brink.
But now that we're chilling here,
We're gonna be alright, I think!
Primarina will show the way,
That he's guaranteed.
And that bastion of hope,
Is all Team Radiance really needs!"
Shane hopped on his hind legs and spun about, then landed on all-fours and swished his mane to the side, winking toward the crowd of gathered Pokémon. At first, no one responded. Then, Navy-Belt began clapping. In a matter of seconds, other Pokémon joined in. Those without limbs, like the Finneon and her Lumineon companions, offered encouraging shouts.
"I gotta admit, I was wrong. You and your crew are clearly here to party it up," Navy-Belt said, holding his hands up. He glanced back toward the tables holding the food. "Anything you want, you've got."
"Thanks. We'll keep that in mind," Shane said, nodding. Navy-Belt turned and walked back toward the tables.
"Wow! You sounded great!" a Luxio chirped, jumping beside Shane. Her hot-pink tail wagged side to side enthusiastically. "And you're the first Ninetales I've ever seen." She got closer to Shane, rubbing her side up against his. "What I'm saying is… you're quite a catch," she purred.
Shane's ears stuck up. "Oh. Uh, who would be catching me? And which sport are we playing?" he said, gaze darting about the room.
Silvally and Tessa dashed to his side, the latter shoving Pink-Tail back. "Back off, he's with us," they shouted in unison, before turning to look at each other in surprise.
"Hmm? Oh, a love triangle. How tacky," Pink-Tail scoffed, rolling her eyes. She gave one last glance at Shane and, with a wink, told him, "When you're ready to ditch these two, you know where to find me." Pink-Tail sauntered off across the room, sitting down next to the Primarina statue.
"I'll have you know that at least one-thousandth of me is a Luxio!" Silvally hollered, electricity crackling around his yellow cheek-bolts. He turned to Shane, shaking his head. "Honestly, the nerve of these 'mons. Acting like you're a ripe berry dangling from a string."
Shane continued staring ahead, blinking slowly as he struggled to process what was happening. He didn't think his rapping was thatgood, so why had Pink-Tail been so eager to coddle up to him?
"Hey. Focus!" Tessa said, snapping her digits at him. "This whole display thing was your idea!"
"Uh… right," Shane said. He shook his head and turned toward his teammates. "Sorry about that. But at least this proved my theory right." His tails wagged independently of one another, only to stop when Tessa and Silvally exchanged frowns. "What's the matter? You guys are acting like I did something wrong," Shane said, pouting.
"Well, it's just that you do have a bit of a history with, y'know, wild theories," Silvally admitted, tracing a claw across the ground. "This isn't going to get us hurt, is it?"
"What? Of course not," Shane said, ears drooping. "It's a much more grounded the– oof!"
Shane stumbled forward, his head hitting Silvally's chest plume. The sudden contact triggered Silvally's fire memories and turned his glowing parts red. He looked up to see a black-nosed Drowzee walking past, levitating a plate with brownies on it.
"Whoops. How clumsy of me," Black-Nose said, smirking as her gaze fell toward Shane's tails. "I should really watch where I'm walking."
Silvally growled a warning, embers popping up from his cheek bolts. Black-Nose walked away with a chuckle. Sighing, Silvally nudged Shane off his chest. "Sorry about that. What were you saying?"
Shane blinked a few times, gaze fixed on Silvally's feathers.
"Shane, you're zoning out again," Tessa said, waving a paw in front of his face. "If you think you know something that can help us deal with Primarina, then out with it. We have no idea when this concert's going to start, but when it does, I imagine our jobs will get a lottougher."
"S-sorry," Shane mumbled, his tails curling up around his waist. "Anyway, as we were walking by that food table, it struck me that all of this feels… familiar." He walked toward Espy and his teammates followed him. "Then I saw Machoke putting stardust into a bowl of punch and I realized that this is like a human party."
Espy raised her right brow. "That would explain why so much of this stuff seems alien to me," she said.
Shane nodded. "Exactly. Remember how we think the Dawn Hourglass comes from Necrozma? Well, he was human. If Primarina is using the Hourglass' power to make his tunes hypnotic, then it's reasonable to suspect that maybe he's channeling some of Nicky's old human memories and modelling this after a human party."
"But then, why would all these Pokémon seem so familiar with the idea?" Tessa wondered, rubbing her shoulder.
"Because they're eating and drinking things laced with stardust," Shane replied. "We're pretty sure Necrozma's the source of all stardust, right? So, the same logic applies." His brow furrowed. "Okay, hearing it out loud does make it sound a bit… ridiculous. Still, I've seen this stuff before. People walking around, stealing glances at places they shouldn't be looking, drinking weird beverages, eating questionable food, and enjoying music with a thumping baseline. There were parties like this held at my old high school all the time."
"Which means you should know exactly what's going to happen here, right? Since you've been to parties like this before," Tessa said.
Shane shrank toward the ground, his ears folding against his head. "I— uh, not exactly," he whispered, voice cracking.
Tessa frowned. "Then how do you know about this stuff?"
"Look, I wasn't the type of guy who was, y'know, liked enough to ever get invited to any parties," Shane said, pawing at the ground. "But, in the human world, we had movies that featured plenty of parties. They almost always ended with the hero either having sex or running home in tears. Sometimes both."
When he looked back up, he found his teammates' eyes widened in alarm. "W-wait, wait… it's not what it sounds like. There's no guarantee something like that's going to happen here!" Shane said, his voice cracking. He silently cursed his poor choice of words.
"The way you're talking, you almost sound like you're hoping that will happen," Espy said, eyeing Shane skeptically.
Shane shrank back from his teammates. "Ugh, y'know what? Forget I said anything. What happened to Raichu and Pikachu?"
"We're right here, yeah!" Kahuna Raichu said, floating over to join them.
"While you had everyone distracted, we scoped out the room at the end of the hall," Cosplay Pikachu said, jerking her head behind her. "Didn't look like there was anything there that led to Primarina, though."
Silvally frowned. "I guess that means we have to keep trying these rooms and seeing what happens," he said, glancing at the tunnels sitting on either side of Primarina's statue. "Shall we head off that way?" He pointed a foreleg ahead of them.
Espy shook her head. "No. I think I have an idea that ought to speed things up a bit," she said, pushing past Tessa and Silvally. Espy sauntered up toward the refreshment table, swaying her tail from side to side. She managed to catch Navy-Belt's attention. Just as he turned around to face her, she leaned forward, sticking her hips up and resting her head against the table.
"Hey there. Listen, in all the commotion my friend kicked up, I forgot where Primarina will be going onstage," she purred. "Do you think you could slip me a little reminder? I'd like to go stake out my territory before it gets too crowded." She stood back up and batted her eyelashes at Navy-Belt.
"Oh, uh, of course," Navy-Belt said, pinching his cheek. "Primarina's performing on B5F. But I'd hurry if I were you. I reckon that floor will get filled to capacity soon. Then you'll be stuck listening through the speakers." He gestured to the nearest speaker dangling from the ceiling.
"Thanks!" Espy chirped. She turned and strolled back toward the group. "You guys get that?" she said. Her teammates nodded. "Good. Then, let's get going. No idea why this place is only five floors deep, but I'm not going to complain."
"Horizon dungeons aren't known for their verticality, remember?" Tessa said as they made their way across the room.
Like the first floor, the second and third sublevels of Sunset Shoals had bright, flashing lights, glimmering statues of Primarina, tables filled with stardust-laden refreshments, multicolored dance floors, and sun and moon-shaped speakers nestled into the walls and ceilings. Team Radiance did their best to stay out of the way of the other Pokémon they came across, quickly locating the stairs.
By contrast, the fourth sublevel was underwhelming. Immediately upon entering, the group found the staircase leading down to the next level. A Passimian's tail disappeared down it. "Huh," Shane said, stepping out into the empty, circular room. Unlike the other floors, this one lacked any sort of bright lights or decorations. Instead, there were walls made of dark-blue coral. The ceiling was dark gray, with small patches of black coral clinging to it.
Aside from Team Radiance, very few Pokémon occupied the empty room. A pair of Sunkerns lay on the floor, staring up at a cluster of coral on the ceiling. And on the other end of the room, near the stairs leading down, a scruffy-looking Mawile and Granbull sat on the ground. They stared each other down, each one holding small cards in their hands. A tiny Ribombee drifted lazily over the Granbull's right shoulder, while a Pachirisu sat beside the Mawile, staring at his cards.
"Hey, Shane! C'mon, there's nothing here. Let's get a move on," Silvally said, beckoning him toward the stairs. His voice drew the attention of the Pokémon playing cards, who all looked at him skeptically before returning to their card game.
"Hold on a second, yeah. Something's not sitting right with me, here," Kahuna Raichu said. He floated away from the stairs, toward the part of the wall furthest from either set of stairs.
"What are you talking about, Pops? It's just a wall, isn't it?" Cosplay Pikachu said, climbing up onto her dad's head to get a better view.
Espy's forehead gem flickered pink. She turned her head in Kahuna Raichu's direction. "No, I think he's right. I'm picking up something on the other side of that wall."
"Are you sure it's not just a fluke? I'm not picking up anything," Tessa said, rubbing her aura feelers with a frown. Nevertheless, she and her teammates joined Kahuna Raichu over by the wall. He floated in front of it, studying it with his brows furrowed in concentration.
"I'm telling you, there's something wrong here," Kahuna Raichu said. He turned to Espy. "You're sensing life energy too, aren't you?"
Espy nodded. "It can't be anything other than a Pokémon. Does that mean there's more to this floor beyond this room?" she said. Espy pressed a forepaw against the wall. Cold, damp coral grazed her paw pads.
"What if Primarina somehow restructured the dungeon's layout for his concert?" Shane whispered, trying not to draw the other Pokémon's attentions toward the group. "If that's the case, there could be Pokémon trapped back there. Like Vaporeon, for example."
Tessa's aura feelers tensed up. "That can't be. Only the Tapus have the power to change a dungeon," she said, staring intently at the wall. Tessa reached her right paw up and ran it along the coral, following each bump and groove in the wet rock. She paused with her paw resting next to a teardrop-shaped indentation in the coral. "Hey, guys, tell me… does this look normal to you?" she asked, pointing at the spot next to her paw.
Silvally walked up beside her, narrowing his eyes at the coral. Then, without warning, he leaned in and stuck the tip of his beak into the opening. Tessa's aura feelers shot up. "Wait, what do you think you're doing?" she gasped.
A tiny click sounded. White light surrounded the group. A heavy force grabbed each of them by the shoulders and spun them about. Before anyone could so much as utter a cry, the light disappeared. Tessa stumbled forward and fell to the ground, clutching her head. Silvally walked into her legs and, with a surprised squawk, tripped and fell onto his side.
"Ugh, what just happened?" Shane groaned, crouching low to the ground as he shook the stars from his vision.
"We teleported!" Espy gasped, carefully sidestepping Tessa and Silvally to get a better view of the team's new surroundings. They had left the circular room behind and instead found themselves in a long, narrow tunnel. Like the other room, the tunnel had nothing to speak of aside from dark-blue, coral walls and a gray, rocky ceiling.
Espy's teammates didn't have much time to get their bearings straight, however, because a Golisopod with white claws lumbered toward them. "What the heck are you all doing back here? This place is off limits! How'd you even find the warp panel I had stashed away, huh?" he shouted, waving his arms about angrily.
Tessa and Silvally both scrambled to their feet. "Uh… well," Tessa squeaked, tugging at her bandanna.
"Bah, it doesn't matter. I don't care how badly you folks want to get an up-close glimpse at Primarina. You've got to see him onstage just like everyone else," White-Claws declared. He pointed his right arm in front of him. "There's another warp panel on the wall over there. Trigger it and get your assess out of here."
"H… hold up, sir!" Shane said, drawing White-Claws' attention toward him. An orb smacked White-Claws in the face and shattered, spreading stardust over his body. White-Claws stumbled backward, hissing loudly and trying to brush the stardust off with his arms.
"Why you little—" White-Claws started, only to freeze up in the middle of the path, his arms covering up his face.
"Perfect! He's petrified," Shane said, grinning. "Let's move ahead… single-file, though. Don't want to accidentally bump this weird bug thingy and free him from petrification." Shane cautiously walked past White-Claws, then beckoned the rest of the team to follow. They all slipped past White-Claws one at a time. Once they had safely passed White-Claws, they continued down the hallway.
"Wow, Shane, how'd you know we had a petrify orb?" Tessa asked, rummaging through the team's item bag.
"I didn't. I lucked out," Shane admitted, a sheepish grin on his face.
"Seriously?" Tessa groaned, rubbing her temples.
"Well, we definitely had slumber orbs and sleep seeds, but I went for a petrify orb first since the only way to free that bug is to hit him," Shane said. "Given they're keeping this place hidden, I've got a strong feeling he won't be moving anytime soon."
"That's… a good point, I guess," Tessa said. She caught up to Shane and they led the group down the tunnel side-by-side. After a couple of minutes of walking, they spotted yellow light filtering in from a clearing. Shane began to quicken his pace, but Tessa matched him step for step. She held her right paw out, shaking her head. "Hang on, Shane. We shouldn't go blindly charging into a bright room that we're not supposed to even know about," she said.
"Ah… right," Shane said, stopping. "Any ideas then?"
Tessa closed her eyes and tilted her head toward her right shoulder. "Hrrrrrrm…" Her brow furrowed. She shook her head. "Ugh, why can't I read any auras here? This is getting so frustrating!"
"I'm picking up scattered traces of life energy. There are several Pokémon where we're heading. None of them strike me as anything out of the ordinary, though," Espy said, forehead gem sparkling.
"Meaning no infected Pokémon or Ultra Beasts, right?" Silvally said, colored parts turning yellow as he looked down the tunnel. Espy nodded. "In that case, I say we take it slow. We should try to find somewhere to hide up ahead and get a better sense of our surroundings."
Shane frowned. "I don't have a problem with that idea, but how do you propose the two of us hide successfully, huh?" he said. "You're much bigger than the rest of us and I'm… well…" He looked back at his tails. "These suckers stand out against the dark walls." Shane sighed. "The pitfalls of being fabulous, I suppose."
"You did not just say that," Espy said, rolling her eyes.
"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" Shane said, smirking.
"Not on your life, fuzzball," Espy replied. They stared at each other for a moment, before exchanging giggles.
"Guys, c'mon, we're wasting time here. I say we have Shane and Silvally stay back here until we're sure the coast is clear. Is that alright?" Cosplay Pikachu said. Team Radiance nodded in unison. Cosplay Pikachu dropped down toward her father's back and they floated past Shane. Tessa and Espy went after them.
The further they walked in the tunnel, the brighter it got until they completely lost sight of Shane and Silvally. By the time they reached the end of the tunnel, their eyes had adjusted to the light. "Guys, over on the left. We can hide there," Tessa said, pointing to a silver Primarina statue. She stepped to her left, crouching behind the statue. Kahuna Raichu floated up toward the statue's head, hiding behind the metallic strands of Primarina's hair. Espy sat down across from Tessa, curling her tail around her paws to keep it from sticking out.
Tessa peered out from the base of the statue. In sharp contrast to the rest of the dungeon, this room had a purple, velvet carpet lining the floor. The only part left bare was the doorway they had come through and the area where the statue was. Luminous orbs lined the walls, which had hearts, stars, suns, and moons of various colors painted all around it. Three hallways led in different directions. Across the room from the statue sat a glass purple table, with a bowl of berries and a bowl of liquid chocolate. Tessa retreated behind the statue, swallowing hard.
"Wow, this place is tacky," Espy said, studying the hallway on the left side of the room. She could barely make out a small glass sculpture shaped like an eighth note. "I guess Primarina's only got an eye for music… and not interior decorating. In any case, looks like we're alone. I'll go ahead and get Sh—"
"Hold that thought. Someone's coming," Cosplay Pikachu said, waving her right paw. She had climbed onto the Primarina statue's head and was peering out from behind the hair. "And… and they've got outfits!" she gasped.
Tessa and Espy cautiously poked their heads out and observed a Hariyama dressed in pink spandex pushing a coat rack on wheels. Dozens of brightly-colored, gem-encrusted outfits hung from the rack, sparkling under the glow of all the luminous orbs. Hariyama walked toward the Primarina statue. Tessa and Espy quickly ducked back into their hiding spots, curling into balls in an effort to avoid being seen.
The ruse worked, with Hariyama wheeling the costume rack into the leftmost hallway without the slightest suspicion that anything was off. Espy uncurled from her ball and nudged Tessa's left leg with a forepaw. "Hey, he's gone," she whispered.
"Unbelievable," Cosplay Pikachu growled, smacking the statue with her right paw. "Primarina totally stole my schtick! Costumes are my thing… not his!"
"I guess Primarina's really going all out with this concert, then," Tessa said, sitting up straight. "Thinking about it, I suppose we could even call it the Z-Move of concerts. Since it sounded like everyone who gets to see and hear it will be powered up."
"That's a scary thought," Espy said, wincing. "In any case, let's grab Shane and Silvally and scope this place out a bit more." She got to her feet and headed for the doorway, with Tessa following behind her.
"We'll hang back in case someone else shows up, yeah," Kahuna Raichu whispered, leaning against the statue's head. The girls nodded to him and walked back into the tunnel. They found Shane and Silvally waiting a few yards ahead of them.
"Coast is clear boys," Espy said, beckoning them forward with her tail.
"See anything interesting?" Silvally asked, trotting toward his teammates alongside Shane.
"Primarina's apparently planning to incorporate costumes into his performance. I guess he must've gained some sort of power similar to Cosplay Pikachu's? Otherwise, I can't imagine it being easy for him to change into outfits," Tessa said, scratching her head.
Shane raised a curious eyebrow. He had a mental image of Primarina appearing on a stage, with a sequined jacket slipped around his torso and a rainbow afro sitting atop his head. Shane cringed and shook his head. 'Thanks brain, I really needed that,' Shane thought, sighing.
"Eh? What's going on here?"
Each member of Team Radiance froze. Vaporeon stood in the center of the room. He wore a svelte white vest lined with sequins and gemstones. The piercings in his ears and mane now had bright, sparkling sapphires embedded in them. The glitter in his skin made him sparkle under the room's lights. Vaporeon had what looked like a headset on, only each of the ear pieces had large crystals in them pulsating with rainbow light.
"Vaporeon?" Tessa gasped. "Oh, thank goodness, we—"
"Wait a tic," Vaporeon said, glancing between Shane, Silvally, and Tessa. "You're Team Radiance, aren't you? Huh. Guess Primarina got through to you all." He turned to Shane and Tessa. "And you've both evolved? This is fantastic! You're just the Pokémon I need." He tilted his head to the side. "Wonder why Primarina didn't tell me he had gotten hold of you guys to help him…"
"Huh? What are you talking ab— oof!" Shane started, only for Espy to cut him off with a swift kick to his left hind thigh. He momentarily buckled, eyes watering and mouth clenched shut.
"Yeah," Espy said, waving her tail back and forth enthusiastically. "We're here to help with… uh… well, Primarina didn't specify whathe wanted us for. Think you could loop us in?"
Vaporeon frowned. "I would've thought his tunes were all you needed to hear," he said.
"Uh… err…" Espy took a cautious step back. "We've, uh, had a bit of the punch and it might've gone to our heads," she said, spinning a forepaw around and whistling.
"Oh… great." Vaporeon smacked his head with a forepaw. "That's what got us into this mess in the first place. See, the three Pokémon we picked to star in the concert's warm-up acts drank too much punch and are totally out of it! So, I need replacements. That's where you three come in." He pointed at Espy, Shane, and Tessa.
Tessa's aura feelers stuck up. "U… us? A warm-up act?" she squeaked.
"Yeah." Vaporeon turned to Tessa "You're gonna start off with a song to get the crowd's attention."
"W… what?!" Tessa gasped, bumping into Silvally as she staggered backwards in surprise. "But… I can't… I've never…"
Vaporeon narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "You guys did say Primarina's tunes got through to you, right?" he growled, though his outfit didn't make him look imposing.
"Of course!" Espy said, stepping beside Tessa. "She'll have no problem going onstage and singing… right?"
Tessa's face was as white as Shane's. "W… wh… what… d…"
"Look, you're familiar with the Song of Horizon, right? Just do that and everything will be fine. The lights we set up on stage are so bright you won't even notice the crowd," Vaporeon said. Tessa could do nothing except clumsily nod. Vaporeon walked up to her. "I guess the punch must've given you jitters, huh?" he said. "Relax, okay? You're a Lucario! Most folks go their whole lives without seeing one. Even with the weird fur, you're a once in a lifetime experience. The crowd's gonna eat you up." He smirked. "Especially when I get you into the right outfit."
"R… right," Tessa squeaked, standing up straight and looking at the ceiling. "I won't… I can do this," she whispered, sounding far from certain.
Vaporeon turned to Espy and Shane. "As for you two… you'll be doing a dance number together."
Their ears and tails stuck up in unison. "You want us—" Shane started.
"—to dance together?" Espy said, glancing Shane out of the corner of her eye.
"Absolutely. An ice Ninetales and an Espeon together? The crowd'll go positively ballistic," Vaporeon said.
Shane's tails twisted around one another. "Would they really be that interested in us? I would think two-legged 'mons could do a much better job," he said, tracing his forepaw across the edge of the carpet.
"I designed the dance for four-legged 'mons. You two are a perfect combination. An ice Ninetales is another once in a lifetime sighting. You flaunt that svelte body of yours and you'll captivate the crowd." Shane's face reddened while Vaporeon walked up to Espy. "And, well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you what to do," he said, pausing by Espy's hips and smiling. "There's a reason those tabloid polls constantly rate Espeons as the most appealing member of our evolution tree."
Espy stepped away from Vaporeon, curling her tail around her right hip. "Isn't Jolteon your mate?" she growled, shooting Vaporeon an icy look.
"Yeah, but she wasn't down with Primarina's program," Vaporeon scoffed, turning around and walking back into the room. "I'm his manager, after all. So, it's my job to make sure the concert to end all concerts goes off without a hitch. In any case, we really should get you three into dressing rooms. I've got copies of the dance moves for you two," he said, glancing at Espy and Shane.
"And what am I supposed to do throughout all of this?" Silvally asked, voice ripe with concern.
Vaporeon looked Silvally over. "Ehh… sorry, Beaky, you don't really fit the bill for an extra," he said. "I suppose since you're part of Team Radiance, you can just stay in one of the dressing rooms. You'll be able to see the concert through these crystals Primarina and I set up. Plus, we've got plenty of gourmet snacks." He turned away from Silvally. "Now, come along. You're going onstage shortly and I want you three prepared."
He led Espy, Shane, and Tessa toward the hallway on the left side of the room. Silvally began following them, only to stop short. When Vaporeon was out of sight, he turned back to the large Primarina statue. "You can come out now," he said, glancing at the statue's head.
Kahuna Raichu floated over to Silvally. Cosplay Pikachu jumped off his back. "Alright, this is our chance! While everyone's distracted with the warm-up acts, we can go look at all those outfits and steal them. That'll teach that poser, Primarina," Cosplay Pikachu said, stomping her right leg on the carpet repeatedly.
"Or… we could investigate those other hallways," Silvally proposed, looking down the hallway at the back of the room. "It seems like they're using this area to set stuff up for Primarina's concert. My guess is that, if we poke around, we might be able to find what's powering up his vocals and put a stop to the concert before anyone gets hurt."
"Sounds like a plan, yeah," Kahuna Raichu said, raising an arm and nodding.
"Bah… fine," Cosplay Pikachu said. She twirled about and, in a flicker of blue light, changed into an Espy hoodie. "Time for a little tactical Espeonage action," she said. Cosplay Pikachu smirked at Silvally. "See what I did there? It's a stealth pun!"
Silvally rolled his eyes. "Let's just pick a hallway and investigate."
I told you it was going to be silly. The chapter title's a Wayne's World reference, what were you expecting?
Another guest: what Arceus' exact relationship to all the gods is will be explored as the fic moves on, but I like the way you're thinking!
Anon Omega: sorry, I'm not a soda drinker. More of a water guy.
SuperOmegaGuest: indeed, he isn't! How much more will he spiral out of control? Only I know the answer!
Be here next update, as we witness the performance of a lifetime!