As mentioned last chapter, this one's got a song and dance. The song seen here spoofs the lyrics to "The Noble Haltmann," as seen in the Exclusive Performance Video from Kirby: Planet Robobot. And the dance is roughly set to Vega's theme from Street Fighter IV. Alright, on with the show!

Chapter 77: Taking Center Stage

~Circadian Coast~

Two Absols strafed multiple blasts of water. One skidded across the sand and shot a purple Dark Pulse beam at Clawitzer. The other sprinted toward Clawitzer, scythe and talons filled with shadows. Clawitzer blasted the Dark Pulse apart with a shiny-blue Aura Sphere, but couldn't pivot fast enough to save off his other attacker. Frenzied Night Slashes tore into his carapace. Clawitzer bounced across the sand.

He tried to blast Herdier with a jet of water, but Herdier sank electrified fangs into his pincer. Herdier held Clawitzer in place, giving Poliwrath enough time to charge red energy into his right fist. Poliwrath punched Clawitzer square between the eyes. Clawitzer careened back into the ocean. Poliwrath stepped back, wringing out his black-gloved hand.

"Yeesh, that shell of his is harder than I thought," Poliwrath said.

"Pah! Tell me about it. Tastes all salty, too." Herdier spat trace bits of saliva on the ground.

Across from them, Gallian and a disguised Zoroark rejoined one another. "How you holding up?" Gallian asked.

"I'm okay. Legs are hurting a bit, but as long as Florges keeps healing me before I cramp up, I think I'll hold out." Zoroark stretched his Absol hind legs out. "What about you?"

"I'm fine. I think he caught us off-guard last time, that's all," Gallian said. His eyes then flickered purple and he turned to the ocean. Clawitzer shot himself back ashore. Ice harpoons rained down on Gallian on Zoroark. Gallian bucked Zoroark onto his back and dashed across the beach. Ice grazed his rump. Gallian gritted his teeth. He spun around, crouching low to the ground so Zoroark could safely dismount.

"I won't give up, ye scurvy dogs!
Not till yer sleeping like piles of logs!
Me cap'n wants ye under his control!
I'll be bringing ye all to Sunset Shoals!

Try as ye might, ye can't stop me!
The only thing I'm tasting here is victory!
Yo ho ho! I won't be beat!
The cap'n's tunes will keep me safe from defeat!"

Herdier and Poliwrath backed away, both groaning loudly and shaking their heads. Florges flew toward them. Jolteon responded by launching electric discs at Clawitzer. He retaliated with a giant ice harpoon. Jolteon tunneled into the sand, yipping in fright.

"For pity's sake… this guy just doesn't quit," Zoroark said, jaw slackened in disbelief. "We keep hitting him and hitting him… but he gets right back up! He should've been knocked out at least three times over by now."

Clawitzer turned his pincer on Gallian and Zoroark. Gallian was prepared to carry Zoroark off again, when Jolteon tunneled in from below. She upended Clawitzer, then hobbled toward Florges while Gallian and Zoroark covered her with dual Dark Pulse beams. Clawitzer tumbled across the shoreline. After a few seconds, he shakily picked himself up.

"Shiver me timbers!
Ye hit pretty hard.
But I don't care if yer limber,
Eventually, ye'll drop yer guard!"

"Oh my gods, if I have to keep listening to this asshole's awful singing, I'm going to lose my mind," Gallian snarled, thrashing his head about. "How the hell can Primarina's hypnosis keep a 'mon fighting past the point they'd normally give in, huh?"

"I don't know." Zoroark glanced at Gallian. "I don't suppose you could try that Naturia Looplet and use a Z-Move?"

Gallian stepped back, legs shaking. "No way! Absolutely not! You saw what happened to Tessa. We talked about this, dude. I won't… I can't…"

Lightning and ice erupted in the distance. Gallian turned to see Jolteon skid across the sand. Florges was by her side in an instant. Herdier and Poliwrath charged Clawitzer down, but he shot an ice harpoon toward them. Poliwrath layed out and took the blow so Herdier could lunge for Clawitzer.

Zoroark blasted a purple Dark Pulse. He hit Clawitzer from behind. "Gallian, I get it. I'd be nervous about it, too. But there guys needyour help! Come on. Think about what'll happen if we can't Clawitzer to stop. Either we're going to have to kill him… or we're going to be put under Primarina's mind-control!"

Clawitzer blasted a fiery-blue Aura Sphere at Zoroark. It grazed his right side. His Absol illusion faltered. Zoroark dropped to one knee, holding his right hip. Gallian looked around at the injured Pokémon. He looked at Clawitzer, who smiled at his handwork while he brandished his pincer at Gallian. Then he thought of his sister and her teammates, making their way through the unknown in Sunset Shoals. He remembered the fury in Tessa's eyes when she Mega Evolved, but then he envisioned himself facing his sister down, with Primarina singing loudly behind him.

Gallian gritted his teeth. He couldn't betray his sister's trust. Not when they were finally together again. He hopped right to dodge Clawitzer's ring of water. Gallian flicked his foreleg in Clawitzer's direction. Orange light burst out of the gem on his looplet. The light spread around him, only to turn into black shadows. Zoroark tensed up, worried the looplet was going to backfire.

"I'm fine! I've got this!" Gallian said, hunching low to the ground. "Hey, ugly? Suck on this!"

Clawitzer raised a curious brow. Gallian's eyes turned pitch-black. The shadows shot off his body. They formed a black hole in the air over Clawitzer's head. It sucked him inside, spun him about, then exploded. Clawitzer sailed through the sky until he was nothing but a twinkle in the distance.

Gallian stumbled about, groaning and shaking his head. Florges finished tending to the nicks on Jolteon's hide and floated toward him, but Zoroark was by Gallian's side first. He scooped his startled mate up in his arms.

"H… how'd I do?" Gallian said, still looking a bit dazed.

In response, Zoroark pressed his muzzle to Gallian's lips. "You were perfect."

~Sunset Shoals~

Rather than split up further, Silvally, Kahuna Raichu, and Cosplay Pikachu elected to stay together. Silvally led them down the rightmost hallway, taking slow, methodical steps to avoid tearing the carpet with his talons and potentially alerting someone like Vaporeon that they were sneaking around. Like the room they had left behind, an array of brightly-colored stars, hearts, suns, and moons lined the walls. Someone had even managed to stick luminous orbs in the ceiling.

About thirty seconds after they began walking, they passed a pair of doors. The one on the left had a pastel drawing of a Brionne on it, while the right door had a Lopunny painted on it. "What do you suppose is in here?" Silvally said, staring down the Lopunny door like it was challenging him to a battle.

"A dressing room would be my guess," Cosplay Pikachu whispered. "I have something like this for my own shows at the resort." She scratched at her left ear. "I'll bet you these are for Primarina's backup dancers."

Silvally raised his right brow. "Uh… hmm… okay. You might have to explain that concept to me once we're somewhere we can lay low." He continued down the hallway, checkout out the doors. They had a Delibird and Midday Lycanroc on them.

"I can see the end of the hallway. Looks like a dead end to me. Guess we ought to turn back," Silvally said.

"Hang on a sec, I'll zoom ahead and check, yeah," Kahuna Raichu offered, floating over Silvally's right shoulder and down the hallway. Silvally watched him go, shrinking in size the further he went. Within a half-minute, Kahuna Raichu turned and hovered back, shrugging. "Looks like you're right, cousin. Nothing down there but rocks. Let's check the other hallway."

They went back to the main room. When they got there, they found the spandex-wearing Hariyama walking back from the hallway Vaporeon had taken the rest of the team down. "Huh? Hey… I don't remember seeing any of you here!" Hariyama said, clenching his giant hands into fists. "Identify yourselves!"

"Easy there, cousin," Kahuna Raichu said, his cheek pouches glowing pink as a reminder of the clear type disadvantage Hariyama faced. "We're here to help with the warm-up acts. Our friends are replacing the 'mons that got sick and we're part of their posse. Maybe you saw 'em? Ninetales, Lucario, and Espeon, yeah."

"Oh. Yeah, that checks out." Hariyama scratched at the back of his head. "Boy, Primarina really knows how to go all-out, huh. At first, I thought I was losing my mind, but it turns out Primarina really did find a Lucario and an ice Ninetales. Man, two one-of-a-kind species to headline the world's greatest concert? I don't care what you say, the guy's a genius entertainer!"

"Sure is. We can't wait for the festivities to begin," Silvally trilled, offering a friendly tail wag.

Hariyama nodded. "I hear yea, I hear ya. In the meantime, I've got a few more things to do to help the backup dancers. You three take care." He saluted, then walked past them to get to the hallway with the other changing rooms. Hariyama entered the Brionne door.

"Okay, let's head north," Silvally said, leading the group along the third hallway. This one immediately curved to the right. The decorative wall drawings disappeared. After a couple of yards, it curved back to the left, and the rocky ground gave way to a metal floor. Silvally stopped, staring at the black grate beneath his feet. "Well that's… different."

Cosplay Pikachu poked at the metal grate. "You mean to tell me Primarina can somehow turn rock into steel? And your team thinks you can beat that?" she gasped.

"We've seen crazier, believe me," Silvally said, continuing down the hallway. As he walked, metal grates replaced the walls. After several yards surrounded by steel, the trio entered a wide-open, square-shaped shaft. The ceiling towered high above them. A set of thin metal stairs sat along the far wall, stretching up to the ceiling and down below the floor.

"What is this place?" Cosplay Pikachu wondered, staring up at the ceiling in awe.

Silvally walked past her, his attention fixed on a large pile of bright-white gemstones easily three times his height. The gems twinkled, despite the minimal lighting in the room. Behind the pile, three thick, black cords ran across the floor and then up the wall, stopping alongside the top of the stairs.

Silvally gulped. "Guys, I think I might've figured out just how Primarina's powering this crazy concert of his." He approached the base of the gem pile, gazing at his distorted reflection as his glowing parts turned dark blue in response to his growing nervousness.

"These are music crystals," Kahuna Raichu said, floating higher into the air to examine the pile closely. "By the gods… how did Primarina manage to mine so many of these in such a short time? This is at least as many as we'd find in two years' worth of harvests!"

Silvally staggered back from the pile. "Y… you're kidding," he squeaked, head crest bristling. "But…" He shook his head. "All these crystals are good for is creating music for Sky Jukeboxes, right?"

"That's what I thought, yeah," Kahuna Raichu said, leaning in toward a single music crystal. It pulsated with green and orange light, forcing him back. "But these sure don't feel like your run of the mill music crystals. Something's different about them. They're radiating some crazy energy." He tilted his head to the side. "Think Primarina might've found a way to do something to them?"

"It sure looks that way," Silvally said. He crouched low to the ground, staring down one of the crystals at the base of the pile. When his beak was only half a foot away from the crystal, a spark of lightning suddenly burst through a gap in the grating. Squawking in surprise, Silvally shifted to his ground memories just in time to avoid getting zapped on the beak. He stood up tall and backed away from the cluster of crystals.

Silvally stared at the spot on the floor the lightning had come from. "Okay, that was close. Something's clearly going on down there… and it's tied to these crystals." Silvally fixed his brown eyes on his companions. "Listen, if you two want to turn back, I understand. But I've got this sinking feeling in my gut about what's lurking beneath us. And I intend to find out if I'm right or not."

"We're with you, then," Cosplay Pikachu said, thumping her chest. She twirled about, exchanging her Espy hoodie for one of a Rhyperior, complete with hand-stitched patches on her sleeves that looked like rocks. "Besides, my ability is Lightning Rod. As long as I stick by Pops, I can keep him safe from any lightning."

"Alright, then follow me and be ready for trouble." Silvally marched toward the metal stairs.

"Oh, wait, hang on," Cosplay Pikachu said, darting for the gem pile. "We ought to take a few of these… you never know if they might come in handy for whatever Primarina's got planned." One by one, Cosplay Pikachu plucked a half-dozen music crystals from the pile and placed them in her satchel. She patted it with her paw. "There we go. Ready for adventure!"

Silvally descended down the stairs. It was a tight fit with his large frame. At the first two bends, Silvally's tail got caught in the grating and twisted at an odd angle. It sent shockwaves of pain through his system. The second bend frustrated Silvally enough to where he leaped over the railing. He stretched his limbs out as he lunged and fanned out his head crest, which turned dark blue. A gust of wind formed behind Silvally, catching his underbelly. He glided safely to the ground. Silvally turned his ground memories back on. The second he had his bearings straight, Silvally looked to his left and jumped back, squawking loudly. Kahuna Raichu and Cosplay Pikachu paused in the middle of the stairs and looked down.

There, directly underneath the pile of music crystals, stood four Xurkitrees. Black, heavy chains were wrapped around their bodies, digging into the ground and the nearby wall. Black shadows swirled around the chains. Some of the links had purple eyes staring up at the ceiling or floor. The Xurkitrees' spiky, flashbulb heads flickered erratically as they struggled against their restraints.

Kahuna Raichu rubbed his eyes. "What in the gods' names are those things?" he gasped, clutching his Totem Crystal tightly.

"Ultra Beasts," Silvally said, legs tensing and talons reflexively curling up. "But those chains…" His brown eyes flashed. A growl rose up in his throat. "I know what those are. They're ley lines!" Silvally slapped the ground, cheek bolts rotating in their sockets. "Somebody was able to conjure up ley lines from the depths of the dungeon… and use it to trap these UBs."

Cosplay Pikachu's ears drooped. "You can do that?" she squeaked, pulling her hoodie tight against her frame.

"Apparently," Silvally hissed, scraping his right claws against the ground and spitting out embers on the floor.

"You okay there, cousin?" Kahuna Raichu asked, zooming over the railing to catch up to Silvally.

"No," Silvally said, hunching low to the ground as he locked eyes on the ley lines in front of him. All around him, wispy phantoms formed up. Phantom eyes stared at him. Silvally squeezed his eyes shut. He shook his head. There were whispers in his mind saying to lash out. Silvally tried to tune them out. He thought of his friends, wondering what Vaporeon had done to them.

Silvally couldn't contain himself. He whirled around, slashing at the air with his talons.

"Whoa!" Kahuna Raichu shouted, screeching to a halt. Silvally's talons missed him by inches. His brown eyes widened.

"S-Stay back! Please… keep your distance!" Silvally shouted. He thrashes his head right, then left. The chains appeared in his vision. More phantom eyes appeared around him. The voices grew louder. Distorted images of Golem appeared by Kahuna Raichu. Silvally's eyes darted around. "No… no! Go away! Be quiet!" Silvally howled, dropped to his belly and bashing his face into the ground.

Kahuna Raichu scooted back, frowning. "Should we do something?"

"I don't even know what the problem is," Cosplay Pikachu squeaked.

Silvally breathed heavily. He forced himself to think of his friends again. Memories of loving embraces with Shane and Tessa pushed back against the angry voices. Silvally squeezed his eyes tight and tensed his legs. He envisioned his teammates snuggling up to him as they'd done every night. His breathing slowed. The phantoms faded. Then the whispers died down.

Silvally opened his eyes and staggered to his feet, panting like he'd finished running a sprint. He felt miserable, but had to hang tough. Now that he'd found Primarina's secret, he couldn't back down. His friends needed him, even if they didn't know it. "I'm sorry… you had to see that," Silvally said, turning away from the chained-up Xurkitrees.

"The truth is… that I was made by other Pokémon using alchemy and ley lines. Seeing the chains out in the open like that…" He shook his head. "It dredged up some bad memories." Silvally took a deep breath, shuddering. "In any case… I'm not really sure where to even begin with something like this. I have no idea how we could free those UBs… assuming that's even a good idea to begin with."

"I think we might have to," Cosplay Pikachu said, cautiously approaching the Xurkitrees. The one closest to her stiffened, its head flashing. It tried to fire lightning at her, but the ley line chains swallowed the electricity up. The energy shot up into the ceiling. Gasping, Cosplay Pikachu put her paw on her chest. "Okay, yeah, we definitely have to. Because I'm pretty sure these ley line thingies are siphoning their energy and putting it into the music crystals upstairs."

A wave of cheers and hollers startled the group. Silvally looked up, head crest fanning out in curiosity. "What's all that racket?" he asked, walking toward the far end of the room.

"Sounds like the concert might be starting, yeah," Kahuna Raichu said.

"What? But that's bad! If Primarina starts singing, he's probably going to activate that giant pile of music crystals." Cosplay Pikachu pointed frantically at the Xurkitrees. "And then what'll happen? We're closer to these things than anyone else!"

Silvally approached the wall and pressed the side of his head against it. The wall gave way, sending Silvally toppling over with a surprised squawk. "Oof!" he grunted as his head struck a wood-panel floor and rebounded. He rubbed his beak with his talons before getting back to his feet. "H… hey. I think I found some sort of hidden door."

"Silvally? How did you get down here?"

Tessa walked up a black, metal ramp. Silvally's beak hung open. She wore a red silk robe that faded to orange, then yellow the further it got from her torso. The robe was cut so that a strip of cloth draped down between her legs from both the front and back. Her loose-fitting sleeves ended right between her elbows and her wrists. Stitched into the front strip was a pale-blue moon. Rhinestones were fixed to it. Tessa's robes tightly hugged her frame, save for an opening for her chest spike to poke through.

"Uhh," Silvally said, beak still open wide.

"Oh… yeah. This is a bit much, isn't it?" Tessa whispered, raising her right paw to fidget with the golden rings looped around her aura feelers.

Silvally stood up straight. "Nuh… no! Of course not! You look ravishing… I mean great! I mean—"

"Hey, keep it down, will you?" Vaporeon said, walking past Tessa. Kahuna Raichu and Cosplay Pikachu ducked back inside the hidden door to avoid being seen. Vaporeon examined Silvally. "I thought I told you to stay upstairs?" he said. "Bah… whatever. You're here now. Just stay out of my performers' ways, alright?" He turned and rapped Silvally on the left foreleg with his tail.

Silvally stumbled back, huffing in annoyance. His tail brushed against a crystal. He looked over his shoulder and noticed the tall, thin crystal had fused against the wall. Silvally followed it upward until he spotted a star-shaped gem fixed inside of a metal cage. Rather than questioning the sight, he turned back around.

"Okay, Lucario," Vaporeon said, glancing up at Tessa. "I see your make-up's all good."

Silvally leaned over to see the red sun that someone had painted into Tessa's fur. Tessa squirmed about nervously. The glitter in her fur sparkled under the stage lights. "You're absolutely sure I won't be able to see the crowd, right?" she said, paws clasped together. The rings Tessa wore around her aura feelers suppressed their twitching movements. Tessa kept wincing, growing more and more uncomfortable with her current predicament.

"Yes! Want me to keep saying it until I'm blue in the face?" Vaporeon said, then chuckled at his terrible joke.

Tessa frowned. "Was that supposed to make me less nervous or something?" she growled.

"It was. Evidently it didn't work. Sheesh… you probably got this from your mother. She skipped every karaoke night we had at Crabrawler's Café until Primarina and I moved," Vaporeon said, shaking his head.

The mention of Prisma brought out blue flashes in Tessa's eyes. Silvally stepped toward her. "Tessa, you're riling yourself up."

Vaporeon rolled his eyes. "Okay, I can see I'm not helping here, so I'm just going to find Ninetales and Espeon." He walked back down the ramp, disappearing from sight.

"Remind why we didn't just clock Vaporeon and run? We had him outnumbered," Silvally said.

"I don't know. I think we just panicked when Vaporeon showed up," Tessa said. "Though, Espeon thinks there's some sort of special device in Vaporeon's headset that would've alerted Primarina if we tried to attack him. So, it looks like I'm stuck." Tessa rubbed her aura feelers, moaning in pain. "Oh, Silvally, what am I supposed to do? I tried to tell them not to put these stupid rings on, but nobody listened to me. These are too tight… they're cutting off my aura sense."

"Is that bad?" Silvally asked.

"Of course it is! It's like… like… how would you like it if I took that head crest of yours and bound it up like it was back when your mask was on?" Tessa said, eyes flashing blue. She realized her mistake the moment she glimpsed Silvally's eyes widening in shock. He looked away from her. Fearing she'd upset her friend, she put a paw on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Silvally. That was uncalled for. I just…" She pointed at the rings. "These things are driving me mad. I didn't realize how sensitive my aura feelers are."

"It's… it's fine," Silvally said, leaning over and huffing out a small cloud of frost. It spread across Tessa's aura feelers, abating their twitching and blowing off most of their glitter.

"That's a bit better. Thanks," Tessa said, smiling.

"No problem." Silvally walked closer to her, then leaned over and whispered, "So, I think we might've found something important while you guys were getting ready." He gestured toward the wall and, as if on cue, the hidden door opened and Cosplay Pikachu poked her head out.

"Whoa. Okay. I'm, like, a teensie-weensie bit jealous of your outfit, girl." Cosplay Pikachu added a whistle for good measure.

"Oh… uh… thanks," Tessa said, bowing her head respectfully.

"Could you give us a moment? I'm trying to bring Tessa up to speed," Silvally said, looking at Cosplay Pikachu.

"That's fine. Pops and I are actually going to keep investigating back here. So, uh, do whatever you can to keep the staff distracted. Which means you've gotta sing your heart out, girl," Cosplay Pikachu said, pointing at Tessa. "The more the crowd eats it up, the easier a time we'll have, right?" She disappeared into the back room again, closing the door behind her.

"What exactly did you guys find?" Tessa asked.

"Music crystals… a massive pile. Like, enough to fill up the entrance and the assembly room in the Observatory. And, get this, right below them… are Ultra Beasts! Big, tall, electric ones!" Silvally said.

Tessa threw a paw up over her mouth. "You're joking."

Silvally shook his head. "I wish I was. I really, really do." His eyes narrowed. "Because…" His voice trailed off and he turned away from Tessa. "Someone's got them chained up using ley lines, Tessa. I saw the chains and I… I… I almost lost it." He looked down at his looplet. "I'm not even sure how I kept control. I took one look at the damn things and a wave of anger rushed through that was so strong I lashed out at Kahuna Raichu and his daughter."

Tessa rubbed his shoulder, wishing she could give him soothing energy like he had done for her. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Maybe you ought to stay backstage and watch the warm-up acts?"

"I don't think I have a choice here," Silvally said, stepping back toward a lilac curtain. Like the other side of the backstage area, a crystalline stage light jutted out of the floor, with a luminous orb sitting at the ready inside of a cage.

Light trickled in behind Silvally. He and Tessa turned to find Vaporeon guiding Espy and Shane up the ramp. "Make some room, big guy," Vaporeon said, looking at Silvally. He stepped back, the curtain draping over most of his torso.

Shane stepped toward Tessa. He had a snug, sky-blue, button-down vest around his frame. Each button was a diamond carved to look like a tiny star. His collar was open toward the top of his vest. His quaffed chest fur stuck out. Someone had managed to brush the fur into a heart-shaped pattern and sprinkle pink glitter across it.

"Go on… say it. I look like a girl, don't I?" Shane said, glancing down at the red ribbons wrapped around each leg. Tiny red roses were pinned to the ribbons on his forelegs. "It's written all over your face."

"Actually, I think it suits you. It's flashy. All that glitter in your mane and tails is appropriately gaudy. A perfect representation of your Pokémon life, if you ask me," Tessa said. Before Shane responded, she smirked and gave him a playful hip check. "I'm only teasing, you know."

"I know. But the joke's on you… because I'm fine with this." Shane posed with his right forepaw outstretched and his head and tails held high. "I'm ready to rock this outfit," he declared.

"Finally decided to embrace your inner Ninetales, huh? Took you long enough," Silvally said, a goofy grin on his face. His tail was wagging and he wasn't even aware of it.

Espy cautiously sidestepped Shane. "Glad to see you're so confident about this. Maybe that means we can pull it off." Espy stepped away from her teammates. In contrast to Shane, Espy had a fiery-red dress stretching down toward her hips, with orange ripples spreading off its base to give the impression that she was dressed like the sun. "At least this flower smells nice," she said, turning toward her right shoulder to sniff at the gracidea pinned her dress' right strap.

"Hey, careful. If you ruin the outfit, you'll have to answer to Primarina," Vaporeon said, rapping a forepaw on the floor. Espy stiffened. "Ugh, look. Your tiara went askew. Now I've gotta fix it," he grumbled, walking up to Espy. Vaporeon gently nudged the red, ruby-encrusted tiara back into place. He then nudged the golden bands around Espy's ears that kept the tiara fixed to her head.

"And how am I supposed to keep this thing from falling off while we're doing this routine?" Espy said.

"Uh, well, you're a psychic-type. Use your telekinesis or whatever." Vaporeon shrugged. "In any case… it's showtime. Lucario, time to head out there and dazzle the crowd."

Tessa went as stiff as an arrow. "I… I… uh…" Her paws balled up into fists. "You said I can't see the crowd, but won't I be able to hear them?" she squeaked.

Vaporeon walked behind Tessa. "A bit too late to do anything about that, sweetie. Go on, the crowd's waiting for you," he said, shoving Tessa with his head. She stumbled out from the rock wall keeping Team Radiance hidden.

All of a sudden, luminous orbs flared up all around her, filling her world with intense white light. Tessa straightened up and walked forward. Despite the power of the orbs, she could see blue, water-like ripples radiating out from the center of the stage. Tessa cautiously approached it, trying not to think about how many people were watching her. Even with her aura sense hampered, she sensed the audience's presence. It made her heart race, but she knew she had to do give a good performance or else the whole team would be in trouble.

The second she reached the middle of the stage, enthusiastic applause greeted her.

"Woo! You go, Lucario!"

"Let's hear those pipes!"

"Rock our world, babe!"

"Dude, she's a steel-type, not a rock-type."

Tessa tensed up, her aura feelers curling against her neck. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could do this. Tessa had heard the song all her life. She knew the words by heart. All she needed to do was sing them. Tessa softened up her stance and opened her eyes.

'It's just like Feraligatr said to Infernape when they were rookie explorers. Be brave… be the bravest ever!'

She grabbed the mic piece on her specialized headset and brought it up toward her snout. "How's everyone doing today?" Tessa said, trying to make sure her voice wasn't shaky. A chorus of cheers erupted. "You all ready for Primarina's Ultra Deluxe Concert?"

More cheers ensued.

"Well, alright! I'm Tessa of Team Radiance and I'm here to kick things off with 'The Song of Horizon!'" She turned to her right and pointed offstage. "Hit it!" she said. Music played throughout the room. The onstage ripples slowed down.

"Solgaleo, provider of daylight.
Great Lunala, defender of the night.
Working hard for the sake of harmony!"

Tessa swayed from side to side, moving her arms in wave-like patterns. Two streams of smoke blew in from offstage, bringing with them metal platforms holding a pair of Brionne who hummed in harmony with the backing music.

"Always striving to do their very best.
Bringing forth light without a moment's rest.
So the world can thrive every day!"

Tessa placed her left paw on her chest and raised her right toward the ceiling. The Brionnes mimicked the gesture. Behind them, a wall of swirling purple light appeared, filled with twinkling stars.

"May their presence light the way forward
To a future of peace and love.
Let us praise Horizon's deities
And the light they bring forth from above."

The central part of the stage rose up. Tessa stumbled, but managed to keep her balance. Swathes of orange and red appeared in the swirling mural behind her. Sun and moon-shaped light patters popped up on the stage and revolved around Tessa's platform. She spread her arms out wide, as if she was trying to wrap the crowd up in a hug. Behind her, the Brionnes raised their flippers high and clapped in time with the music. The crowd joined in along with them.

"Solgaleo, hear our song to you
Great Lunala, our prayers are for you, too.
May your light shine as bright as can be!"

In he backstage area, Shane and Silvally stood by one of the curtains, mesmerized by Tessa sparkling under the glow of the stage lights. "Wow… she sounds great," Shane whispered, shuffling to his right. He brushed up against Silvally and the two exchanged a quick glance before putting distance between one another. Shane focused on Tessa, fighting off a blush.

"As the seasons come and pass us by
Help us to keep balance in our lives.
Until the day our spirits cease to be!"

The mural and stage shifted to ripples of golden light, with bands of silver forming the familiar sun and moon emblems of the Horizon Continent. Both Brionnes hopped off their platforms, somersaulting across the stage until they stood proudly in front of Tessa's raised platform. Tessa stretched her paws up toward the ceiling.

"We wish with all our beings
That your light never steers us wrong.
Bless our world, beloved guardians
So that we may all sing our song!"

The music began to slow down. Tessa and her backup dancers slowly bowed in unison, bringing their right arms across their chests just as the song faded out. The clapping the crowd had done in time with the music broke into a round of spontaneous applause. Tessa held her pose, wincing as her aura feelers twitched in protest of the thunderous cheers and roars from the crowd. She thought her heart was going to burst out of her chest. Her headed pounded with an intensity she didn't think possible.

"Come on, Lucario, look up. They're all cheering for you," the Brionne on Tessa's right said.

"Um… right." Tessa stood up, raised her right paw, and waved it daintily at the crowd. "Thank you all so much. I hope you enjoy the rest of the concert." Tessa hopped off the raised platform and walked offstage, her gaze locked on the wall where the secret door was. Once she was safely behind the curtain, she exhaled heavily and hunched over, resting her paws on her knees.

"Oh gods… I'm shaking. My stomach's doing backflips, I think I'm gonna hurl," Tessa said, panting. She put a paw up to her muzzle.

"Relax. It's all over. Don't you hear the crowd? They loved you," Vaporeon said.

"Yeah, you were fantastic, Tessa. And that's coming from someone who never went to a concert as a human," Shane said, tails wagging independently of one another.

"Uh, thanks… I think," Tessa said, standing up straight. "Just, y'know, don't ask me to do that again. My heart's still pounding." She looked at Shane. "Aren't you nervous? You're about to go on."

"He definitely is. I can see his hind legs quivering and everything," Silvally said, playfully thumping his tail against Shane's hip. Shane shuffled forward, scrunching his face up. All his close brushes with Silvally were adding up and grating his nerves, but he forced himself to hold his tongue.

"You didn't have to bring that up. I'm trying to fake it until I make it," Shane said.

"Another human idiom, I take it?" Silvally said, right brow raised.

"Yes. If I act like I'm not nervous, then maybe I really won't be when I go onstage," Shane said, taking a slow, calming breath. "We're going to blow the crowd away, right, Espy?" Espy stepped beside Shane, her expression stoic and her snout pointed up. "Um… are you gonna say something?"

"We'll be fine. Just follow my lead," Espy said. "You remember all the moves, right?"

"Of course," Shane said.

Espy leaned over and whispered, "Good, because we're gonna deviate from the script a bit."

Shane's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

Espy nodded. "Like I said… follow my lead." Shane frowned. "Oh, relax. I'm not going to do anything weird, if that's what you're thinking. Cosplay Pikachu said to keep everyone distracted… and that includes Vaporeon."

"All right, you two. Time to go out there and show 'em what you're made of," Vaporeon said, approaching the duo from their left.

"Got it," Espy said. After a quick couple of breaths, Espy strutted out on stage, hips and tail swaying back and forth. Shane walked behind her, mimicking the gesture. Small trails of frost streamed off his tails, drawing a raised eyebrow from Tessa. She wondered if Shane did that on purpose.

Her aura feelers twitched. Tessa looked behind her, where Kahuna Raichu was waving her over. Tessa approached him, leaning against the wall to keep him hidden. "How's everything going?" she asked.

"Not too good, yeah. We tried attacking the spots where the chains are anchored and that didn't do anything. It just upset those Ultra Beast thingies. They tried to zap us, but the chains absorbed their lightning and sent it up to the music crystals," Kahuna Raichu whispered.

"Hmm… I can't really help you two without seeing the chains for myself," Tessa said. She tapped her right foot on the floor impatiently. "There's something that's coming to mind about what we could do, but I can't put my paw on it."

"Ladies and gentlemon… give a warm welcome to Ninetales and Espeon!"

The loud announcement made Tessa jump off the wall. "Sorry, I've gotta help keep Vaporeon distracted. You, uh, keep up your investigation." She jogged back to join the others while Kahuna Raichu retreated into the secret room.

Onstage, Espy and Shane stood facing one another. The stage lights dimmed. Red, rose-shaped light patters lay scattered around them. The crowd offered a smattering of anticipatory applause. Espy leaned forward, stomping her right forepaw down between Shane's forelegs as a single piano note chimed. Her determined expression refused to falter. "Are you ready? These folks are gonna want a show," Espy whispered.

Recalling the notes he had read in his changing room, Shane leaned forward, brushing his chest against Espy's. He stomped his right forepaw down in time with a second piano beat. "Then let's give them something to remember," he said, tails flicking to his left. He shot a quick glance at the crowd and smirked, drawing scattered whistles.

An accordion played, backed by a piano and occasional bursts of clapping. Espy confidently marched forward while Shane glided backward, each paw movement perfectly synchronized. They reached stage right, at which point Shane leaned his upper body down as Espy stood over him. He lifted his hips up as she placed a forepaw on his head and swirled his mane around, spreading snowflakes and glitter across the stage.

Shane sprang up as if he was pouncing on unsuspecting prey. Now Espy was quickly walking backwards as Shane approached her, fluffing out his tails with each step. Catcalls and whistles sounded from the audience, but Shane ignored them. He got up in Espy's face and smirked wide enough to show off his glistening fangs. Espy stepped to Shane's right, brushing her side against his and dragging her tail along his coat.

When Espy reached Shane's tails, he stepped forward, pivoted, and leaped over Espy, leaving a trail of snowflakes and glitter behind him. Castanets rang out from the speakers. Shane landed and pivoted to face Espy. She weaved to her left, walking in a semicircle toward Shane's tails. Shane mirrored the gesture. They slowly circled one another, their pace getting faster. Just as another castanet string played out, their shoulders and hips grazed, drawing excited hollers from the crowd.

"Jump onto your hind legs," Espy whispered, turning to face Shane.

"Huh? Why?" Shane whispered back.

"I told you… follow my lead," Espy said, rearing up on her hind legs. Shane did the same, at which point Espy's forehead gem glowed. She grabbed hold of Shane with her telekinesis and brought him close. Shane clenched his jaws tight to avoid barking in surprise as his forelegs draped over Espy's shoulders. He stared into Espy's glowing eyes, her muzzle hovering inches from his. His heart went into overdrive, thumping hard enough form him to feel every beat.

Espy used her psychic powers to move her right hind leg forward. She dipped Shane over so that he was facing the crowd upside down. Shane dragged the tips of his tails along the ground, and whipped them out to both sides. He wrapped them around Espy's back as she lifted him upright. Espy leaned backward, her telekinesis keeping her from falling flat on her back. She smiled and stretched out her forelegs. A chorus of cheers erupted as Espy's telekinesis made it seem like Shane was pulling Espy back up on her hind legs using only his tails.

Once she was upright, she put her forepaws on Shane's shoulders and leaned in toward him, rubbing up against his cheek. "I'm going to spin you, now. Use an Aurora Beam or Frost Breath or something. That ought to rile up the crowd," she said.

"Wait, you want me to—" Shane started, only for Espy to back up slightly, place both forepaws on Shane's torso, and push him backward while twisting his body around. Her telekinesis did all the work, spinning Shane around like a fluffy white top. Shane bit his tongue, resisting the urge to shout or call for help. Instead, he remembered Espy's instructions. He opened up his mouth and released an aurora. Bright, colorful light filled up the stage. Espy dropped back to all fours and backed up toward stage right.

"What are they doing?" Vaporeon growled from the other side of the stage. He stared down in disbelief at a clipboard on the floor. "This isn't part of the act at all! These two are—"

"Positively amazing!" Silvally trilled, fish tail wagging as fast as it could go. "Wouldn't you say, Tessa?" He glanced to his left, where his teammate stood, left paw tightly clutching the edge of the curtain. "Um… Tessa? Are you there?"

Tessa stiffened, tugging so violently on the curtain she nearly tore it. "Y-yeah! I just… uh… sorry, I got caught up by their dancing," she mumbled, face bright red.

Silvally chuckled "Well, you're not the only one. Sounds like the crowd's eating it up, too."

Tessa glanced into the darkness in front of the stage. Her aura feelers twitched. The audience clapped in time with the castanets in the song. A violin had taken over the main melody, backed by acoustic guitars. Espy and Shane stood opposite one another on the stage, each pawing at the floor. Without warning, they charged at one another in unison. Just when it looked like they were going to collide, Espy hopped into the air and landed atop Shane's back. His knees buckled briefly from the impact, but he recovered with help from Espy's psychic grip.

Shane flinched as Espy nestled her tail in the middle of all of his. She weaved her tail around Shane's fourth tail. Espy planted a forepaw on the top of Shane's tuft of hair. "Use another Aurora Beam," she said. The violin got more frenetic. Shane did as he was told, only this time Espy ensnared the multicolored beam in her psychic grasp. Her pink energy intensified the aurora's glow. A rainbow burst shot toward the ceiling, leaving a trail of frost behind.

Espy stomped on Shane's hips with her hind legs. Like an angry bull, Shane bucked his hips up, launching Espy into the air. She somersaulted twice before landing in front of him, sticking her head and tail upward and casting a defiant smirk in his direction. The crowd went ecstatic. "Now, make like you're going to attack me… and lunge," Espy whispered, turning to face him while maintaining her defiant smirk.

Shane leaped toward her, fangs bared. Espy caught him in her psychic grip, locking up his limbs so he couldn't flail them about in a panic. The crowd gasped as Espy spun Shane around, snowflakes and glitter trailing behind him. After Shane finished his fifth lap around Espy she set him down and sauntered up to him, swishing her tail from side to side. She stopped in front of him and flicked the edge of his snout with a foreleg. The audience met her with a mix of applause and laughter.

Not finding the situation funny, Shane's blue eyes glowed pink. He grunted as he hoisted a bewildered Espy into the air. She tried to open her mouth to protest, but Shane merely smirked. "Hey, we're trying to keep 'em distracted, right?" he said. Shane then tossed Espy into the air. Espy spun around, eyes squeezed shut. She didn't want to yell and ruin the act. To her relief, Shane ensnared her in another psychic hold and lowered her safely to the ground. Now it was Shane's turn to flick the tip of Espy's snout, to which the crowd cheered in delight.

A part of Shane was in disbelief, but he was operating on pure instinct. He was so focused on Espy, he had completely blanked out the crowd's noise. "Alright, time to wrap this up. What are we going to do?" Shane finally tuned in to the audience, only for his ears to stick up.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"Freeze the floor. I've got an idea," Espy said, jumping onto Shane's back. With a nervous gulp, Shane released another Aurora Beam, leaving a strip of ice along the center of the stage. "Now, run to the other end." Shane bounded across the stage until he reached the end of his icy trail. "Get on and I'll take it from there." Espy nudged the back of his head with her snout.

Shane stepped on. Espy hopped off him and shoved him with her psychic powers, then slid across the ice after him. Shane stared wide-eyed at the approaching edge of the stage, only for an unseen force to spin him around. Shane tried to figure out what Espy's plan was, but was jolted from his thoughts when he came to an abrupt halt. His tails dangled over the edge of the stage.

He was so preoccupied with his tails, he wasn't prepared for Espy rearing up on her hind legs, throwing her forepaws onto his cheeks, and planting her lips against his.

Well, I did say things were going to get weird. And there's still another chapter of craziness left!

SuperOmegaGuest: the strangest? Even stranger than this one? I envy you. You must be able to steer clear of all the weird fics out there.

Another guest: you were expecting a Jojoke in this response, but instead it was me, Dio! ... I'm sorry, I had to. That's, like, the only Jojo thing I know other than poses. Which, as you can see, there was plenty of, here.

Anon Omega: yes, plenty of cringe to be had. Perhaps another author might've handled this better than I could. And yes, that was a Metal Gear reference. Won't be the last one we see, either.

Next time: "Listen, are those twerpy voices I hear? Because they're speaking to me loud and clear, babe!"