"I found it…"

Slick and Morel looked up towards the prince of mewni as he slammed a book down on the table in front of them. The two knights looked down at it confused. It was a large black book that had a skull and roses on the front of it.

"What the hell is this?" Slick asked, raising an eyebrow. He hoped it wasn't another of some ancient rulebook he dug up or something. He really didn't need another rundown of some laws he wasn't about to follow.

"Do you know how my father likes to talk about his old… exploits?"

"You mean how he liked to bang every female within a hundred mile radius?" Morel asked. He had only met the king of monsters once before. He'd showed up when they were having their guys day at the Jaggy springs. The topic of sex had sprund up, just like it always had, and the king hadn't hesitated to start bragging about his many conquests.

Much to the dismay and embarrassment of his son, Typhon had went into very specific details about his past loves, and even given them tips on how to pleasure the fairer sex. Morel considered himself an expert on the subject because… he was a fucking Incubus, but even he had found himself intrigued by what the old king had to say.

"Yeah…" Astro said scowling. "Well, he talks about it a lot more than you'd know. And he eventually ended up mentioning something about Rosetta."

Morel winced. "He… he talks about having sex with your mother?" he asked. "Seems like a weird thing for a father and son to chat about, doesn't it?" Now that he was one to talk. His father had been very thorough about such lessons with him growing up...

"You have no idea. Thankfully I manage to cut him off before he gets into anything too graphic, but something he said actually interested me."

"Gross…" Slick said.

"Shut up! He talked about a book she wrote. Apparently she did research on plenty of subjects. Dark magic, the fusion of magic and technology, ancient costumes... sex," he said before gesturing down to the book. "And while I was looking around her office, I happened to come across this."

Their eyes widened. "Wait a damn second. Are you saying your mom wrote a sex book?" Slick asked, now more than a little interested. "Holy shit, you actually found a book worth reading!"

"It doesn't weird you out that your mom wrote a sex book?" Morel asked.

"Of course it does!" Astro said bluntly. "But my father said that he had never been with anyone better than her, so right now curiosity is outweighing disgust. Now is anybody else interested in reading this, because-"

Slick snatched the book from the table and tried to open it, but it didn't budge. "What the hell?" he asked annoyed. What was going on? There was no lock on this thing as far as he could tell, so what was the deal?

Astro reached down and took the book from him. "I sealed it. I didn't want to risk this falling into the wrong hands." God help him if anybody else came across this thing. He waved his finger across the book, and it popped open. "Before any of you look at this, I'm going to request you all take a vow of silence."

"Why?" Slick asked.

"Because nobody outside of this room needs to know about it, that's why. I mean I'll probably share it with Fee and maybe a few others, but only people I know won't blab about this. And nobody needs to say anything to the girls…"

Slick hummed. "Yeah, guess I can agree on that."

"Not like I'm gonna blab to anyone…" Morel said. He was honestly really interested in finding out just what was in that thing. Astro set the book down at the table, and the three began looking over it. "Holy shit, she cut everything off into different sections… this is the most well organized sex book I've ever seen."

"Just how many sex books have you read over the years?"

"Enough."

Slick narrowed his eyes. "There's a section talking about damn near every race in mewni. Waterfolk, all the nymph tribes, septarian… giants?! Dude, how in the hell did she even…? Fuck, Rosetta must have got around. Your mom is my new hero."

"Shut up. I'm trying to ignore the fact she wrote this right now and you're not making it any easier… hey, there's spells in here," Astro said flipping a few pages ahead. "Look at this one. A spell that keeps your partner and the brink of ecstasy and keeps them there until you release it."

He made a mental note to try that one later with Maria…

Morel hummed. "Apparently every septarian has a certain scale that'll drive them nuts if you press down on it…" he said.

Slick smirked. "Hey, maybe you and Amber can try that out later." Astro glared and punched the other boy in the arm, and Slick just laughed. The last thing he needed was him spreading even more rumors between them around.

"What are you guys reading?"

The book was snapped shut so quickly that there was nearly a sonic boom. The three boys all looked up and saw Higgs approaching. The former captain was clearly confused by the reaction she had gotten by calling out to them. "Nothing…" Astro said, not at all able to sound as casual as he'd hoped.

Higgs raised an eyebrow at him. "Really… it doesn't sound like nothing. C'mon, all three of you looked so invested. I want to know," she said.

"It's really not something you'd be interested in," Morel said, able to sound much more calm than Astro had. "Just some dumb guys stuff."

Higgs clicked her tongue. "Huh… well, I'm still interested. Let me get a look."

There was a long moment of silence. Astro just stared forward, Morel sighed, and Slick wore a smirk on his face. "No."

Higgs narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me?" she asked, looking down towards Astro. She couldn't even remember the last time he's just flat out told her no to something.

"I cannot in good conscience give you this book…" Astro was no fool. If he handed it over and she figured out what it was, there was no way it wouldn't get back to his mother. Or Sarasim. Or Margo. And good god, if his grandmother found out… no, he couldn't have that. "I'm sorry."

Higgs crossed her arms. "Are you really going to make me take that book from you, Asterossa?" she asked dangerously. "That really a fight you want to pick?"

Astro steeled his resolve, a look of determination on his face. "If I have to, I'll lay down my life to keep the content of this book a secret," he said tightening his grip on it.

Higgs let out a sigh, and looked as if she was about to turn and leave. But then suddenly her entire body grew lightening around it. She sped forward, and Astro just barely managed to keep the book out of her reach. "Shit! Slick!" He threw the book up into the air, and Slick turned and got up from his seat running after it.

Higgs sped at it as well, leading a trail of sparking electricity behind her. Her title as 'The Swift' wasn't exaggerated, and she easily caught up with the half-breed prince.

Slick however still had one advantage. "Sorry Higgs, he said, leaping up into the air. He had her heightwise, and could also jump much higher, so he managed to grab the book before he got too close to the ground. "Yo Morel, catch!" He brought his arm back and hurled the book up above the Incubus.

"Shit, why did you guys have to get me involved in this..?" He muttered. Higgs was already halfway towards him, and he quickly took off and flew up into the air, grabbing the book and staying there.

Higgs glared up at him. "Morel, hand over the book…"

"Yeah… no…"

"Don't make me come up there…"

"I know I didn't serve under you that much, but even I know that you can't fly. So I think I'm just gonna stay up here and-" Higgs shot off towards the wall nearby, and then to his shock began running up the side of it. "Oh shit!"

When she managed to reach him, she off the wall and right towards him. Morel quickly tossed the book away, but when Higgs reached him, she kicked off of him and went right after it. She reached out to grab it, but just as she was getting close, a small portal suddenly opened up.

The book fell through it, and then it quickly closed. Higgs looked confused, but quickly collected herself and landed on the ground, rolling forward and back up to her feet. Astro lifted his hands in the air. "YES!" he cheered. He had been iffy on making portals on his own, but it seemed having his back against the wall was the push he needed. The book was now safely back in Rosetta's office.

"Asterossa! You bring that book back here and-!"

Something suddenly rushed past her, and she looked back up to see Astro jumping on top of Sear. "Sorry, have to go! I have an important mission and… I have to go!" He took off into the air as fast as the dragon could carry him.

Higgs scoffed and looked up to see Morel already flying off. And when she turned to catch Slick, the prince's body was already broken down into small blobs of slime which had broken off and scattered. "Those little…"

She had no idea what was in that book, but it had to be something either important or inappropriate if Slick and Morel were willing to help him keep it away from her.

She thought about tracking him down and grilling him about it, but eventually just decided to let it go. Astro may have been a knucklehead at times, but he wouldn't have tried to hide anything too dangerous from her. Still, she started to wonder if maybe she was losing a step. Astro had never been able to outmaneuver her before.

Was she getting slower, or was it that he was getting faster?

Astro sighed in relief as he flew through the air with Sear. Now that had been a close one. Even if he was the only one who could open it, he was going to have to be more careful about where he decided to read the thing… he would still read it of course.

There was no way he was passing up on trying what he saw in there with Maria…

A/N: Just wanted to do a one-shot with Astro, Slick, and Morel just being guys lol. As far as Astro is concerned, that book is more precious than the wand. He ain't never letting anyone outside of them get his hands on it. And yeah, Rosetta got around. She did spend a lot of time traveling all throughout mewni. You didn't think she wasn't gonna get it in and write about her experiences, did you?