Jennifer's Diary
June 5, 2621.
It was the middle of my final week of training when I started getting friendly with Jon again. His reaction was what I expected it would be.
"No."
"But, you're struggling Jon. You want to kill yourself, because you don't have anyone who cares about you. Can't you see that?" I exposited to him with concern in my voice, as I helped him work on fixing up one of the APCs, which miraculously was still in working condition after all these years.
"Tell me something I don't know." He responded rudely.
"Do you just not care?" I asked stupidly.
Jon gave me a short growl as a response. I always got irritated whenever he did that to me.
"Why do you want this so badly?" I asked frustrated.
"Do I need to explain it to you again ,Jennifer?"
"Jenny." I told him.
"What?" He didn't understand what I was telling him.
"I want you to call me Jenny." I requested.
"Fine, Jenny. Do I need to tell you why I don't want to have anyone else close to me again?" He asked.
"Because you don't want to lose anybody else. Because you feel responsible for Richard, Michelle, Taylor and William. I know that. But look at yourself. You have have a guilt complex and you need help."
"Look ,Jenny you have no idea what I've been through for the past seven years. You weren't there." Jon told me.
"You've made that very clear. But still." I attempted to hold my ground in the argument.
"But still what?" He held his ground firmly.
"But still you want to kill yourself. I understand I'll never feel the pain you've been feeling, but is all of this really enough to make you want to commit suicide?" I exposited trying to sway him with my compassion and empathy. "You've given so much for me and so many others with your sacrifice. Can I not even give anything to you?"
"You are, you're training to become a hunter so you can help me kill the shadows. Not only that but you've also helped me track these things." Jon explained before asking me to hand him a torque wrench. "As far as I'm concerned, you have been helping me out a lot, and I appreciate it."
"That's not what I meant ,Jon." I told him.
"I still don't want anyone else ,Jennifer." He called me by mistake.
"Jenny!" I corrected him.
"Sorry ,Jenny." He apologized.
I had to think of another way to make him see that he was making a mistake. "Are you so sure that this is the way though. I know you want peace in the worst way. I'm just trying to make you think before you make another mistake."
"Screwdriver please." Jon requested, ignoring my question. I handed the tool to him in irritation.
The time for compassion, was over. I had to show some force. "Is this just another part of your society's sick ways?! Honor kill yourself because you feel responsible for a mistake!" That didn't trigger him.
"I'm not a World War Two Jap. Jenny," He responded, "Yes I hold true to a lot of my society's rules, but not all of them."
"Then what is it really then?! I can't help you if you don't talk to me!" I exposited aggressively.
"Number one, don't raise your voice to me! Number two, hand me the torque converter. And Three, I don't want emotional support!" He snapped.
"It doesn't matter that you want it! It matters that you need it!" I told him.
Jon just laughed at my remark. "You've been spending to much time around my sarcastic self." That response just got me angrier. I held my temper though and tried to focus.
"What about your mother and your friends?! What would they think about you if they heard you were just giving up like this?!" That time I made him irritated.
"Don't you dare throw them in my face like that! Here me?!" He bellowed as he crawled out from under the hood of the vehicle to face me.
"I just did, so what of it?" I remarked in a very smart-assed tone.
"I want fifty from you now! Count them out!" Jon ordered for me to start doing push-ups. I obediently did as he commanded, not because I was afraid of him, nor because I was afraid to go to far about the topic, but just so I wouldn't kick him in the groin.
He began to explain himself as I counted up my push-ups. "I'm doing what I'm doing for them, I don't just hold myself responsible, but I also hold those fcks out there responsible. I want to kill them all, so I can at least finish what we all started together, and make sure no one else on this planet has to deal with what they dealt with. With what I'm dealing with."
"Then why does it look like you're beating yourself up more than, the xenomorphs out there?" I asked after I asked for his permission to "pop tall" after finishing my exercises.
Jon made a frustrated growl. "I am. Once I'm finished, I'll continue to live with my guilt. Does that sound like fun to you?"
"For a simple mistake?!" I interjected to him. He just clicked at me. "What about your beliefs? I know I have very little room to talk about it, but isn't suicide punishable by damnation? So it sounds to me like you aren't going after that heavenly peace you say you're after." That got Jon to stop working and think for a moment, but he shrugged it off. "What about Jesus, and the sacrifice he made for you? Didn't he suffer in Gethsemane and Calvary for everyone's sins and afflictions, including yours? Did he not do that for you freely? Did God just send his only begotten down to do that for nothing?!" That argument had some validity to it. I could see it in his face, even with the mask on.
"I'm still of use to him that's the only reason I'm continuing to do this. So I can protect his sheep." That argument wasn't solid enough to hold up to mine, and was actually pretty contradicting.
"So you don't believe he died for you because he loved you, but because you were useful to his cause?" I remarked.
"I'm not a Ooman being like you are. I'm not a member of the favored people, like you Oomans are." His comments began faltering to mine and he knew it.
"So the Great and Merciful Creator himself, made everything in the universe just for us 'Oomans' and not for everyone who believes in him? Oh! Praise the Lord I don't believe in him, but I'll be saved at the day of judgment because I'm a 'Ooman,' but Uh oh! Sucks to be you, you aren't a 'Ooman' so you don't get a piece of the heavenly pie we 'Oomans do! What kind of a loving God would do that?!" I said dramatically tearing down his argument. Then Jon exploded.
"Alright you want to know why I want to die so badly?! Fine! I'll tell you! And yes, I recognize you're argument, and you're right, I am using stupid ass excuses just to talk you down! I admit, you have a point! But just because you're right doesn't mean you're not wrong about something either!"
"What is it?" I asked.
"Do you know what it's like to be alone all the time with no one but a bunch of strangers who hate your guts, even when you did nothing to deserve such treatment?! Do you know what it's like to sleep having constant nightmares about the most traumatic, and painful moments of your life?! To constantly be reminded of your family's death, and wonder if it's really all your fault for why they died?! It doesn't matter if the reason is bullsht or not, but that you believe it's true! That, and to have to wake up knowing that the people who they loved and died to protect are being spoon fed bullsht lies about them, and don't give a fck about them anymore?! To wake and think that their is no one left alive for you to even care about, because you know they're dead?! To know that you will never be able to share moments with them like you used to ever again? Do you understand how it feels to wake up screaming, and you don't remember where you even are anymore, and those strangers around you don't give a damn, and tell you to shut the hell up, because they're to busy trying to get some sleep? I haven't even brought up the trouble of hunting xenomorphs, or the thought that others just like the friends and family you loved are going through the same thing you are, or the conscientious thought that any moment your PTSD will trigger and you'll hurt someone else!" He explained with pain in his voice. It sounded like he was tearing up inside that mask.
"No. I don't, and I never will." I replied truthfully.
"That's what I've been going through since birth, since Crimer's Ridge. I just want it to stop. And you're right about what you said earlier, I'll give you that, but you don't know everything. No one does. The last person that did died on Calvary." He said more calmed. He was hissing, a sound he only made when he felt threatened or emotional.
We stood in silence for a moment, that in my mind lasted hours of painful pondering. "I'm going to do my yoga, and take a bath ,Jon. I think we both need some time to ourselves." I said, almost requesting it.
"I think you are right ,Jennifer." He hissed a sigh.
"Would you like anymore of my help before I go?" I asked him.
"No. No I've got it. You may go." He dismissed me. "Jennifer." Jon called me before I exited the building. "You've been very helpful to me. Really you have. You've done good work on your training, and I'm impressed with the progress you've made." He confessed. "Please understand I'm not being ungrateful, I just don't want anymore pain. Once this is over I will take you straight home. Just as I promised." He assured me.
I didn't want to go home though. As amazing as it seemed, with everything I endured the past three months, I wanted to stay with him. I was actually beginning to enjoy this. I was doing something helpful. I was being useful. Forget starring at plants under a microscope all day this was living. I was working for what I earned, instead of being given it, and I was doing well. Who knew that risking life and limb to save billions of lives, from creatures you used to study about in a lab could be such a life changing experience, one you could even kind of enjoy. I'm being sarcastic yes, but I'm also stating the honest truth. Yes, things were hard and there was no guarantee you'd make it back alive, but the work you do, the people you come to know, and the pride of overcoming adversity with them through hard work was, in a way, liberating. I was helping someone who needed more than just my help, but my affection too, even though he was still refusing to accept it.
"Yes sir." I replied. "Jon," I called him as he was about to go back to work. "I just want you to know that you're also right in what you said earlier. I'll never know how you feel. But I just want you to understand that I was just trying to help you. I was just trying to give you a reason for why your life is still worth living. I know you may not see it, but you are more human than you think you are. You're kind, compassionate, caring, and most of all selfless. I can see you haven't been given any affection by anyone in a very long time, and I feel ashamed now that I realize that. It's just after everything we've been through; how much you, and so many other marines have sacrificed for people like me, who take everything for granted, I just feel it would be right if I said I was sorry and gave something back. Some extra strength to keep you going at the least. I may not be your friend, but you've been a great friend to me. And if there is a God in Heaven like you say there is, than I know for a fact, that he has a place for you in his kingdom. Even if you think you don't deserve it. I just wanted to tell you that." I said to him with a light smile.
Jon looked down, and then back up at me. I was correct. He knew I was. "Thank you ,Jennifer." Jon nodded to me with a soft friendly growl.
"Also ,Jon. Please stop calling me ,Jennifer. I prefer to be... just called Jenny." I requested.
"Yes... Jenny," He said, "I'll try to remember that."
I left him to his work, and went to my leisure. I heard him say "pyode/kha'bj-te tarei'hsan" softly as I exited.
I took the free time I had to do my yoga like I said. For those of you who are wondering, Yoga is my preferred PT. It's not very exhausting or physically demanding, but it does help build flexibility and strength for your joints, and it can also be very relaxing. It also helps me meditate, and given what I was going through at the time I did quite a bit of that. I remembered thinking how else I was going to try to reach Jon, how I could make him see how much I cared about him. I also thought more about the Bible, which I'd taken more of a fondness for. It helped me with a lot of my character issues that I had, which have since helped me greatly in the long run. I was actually beginning to believe it, and the idea that God was real.
After finishing my yoga, I went to take my bath. There were some hot springs located a couple miles from our camp that also sat right at the base of the mountain range. Jon and I had went there many times to bath and refresh, especially on Sundays, which we reserved ourselves from most training exercises. We'd traveled to the hot springs so many times that I practically had the path memorized in my brain. I brought the SW 4506, as well as a pair of small wristblades Jon had made out of some of the scrap in the storage house and some of the extra armor he brought with him. He made them for me just in case our 'friends' sitting just on the other side of the ridge got smart and he couldn't be there to help me. I ran to the hot springs on all fours, just to help keep my cardio up. It was actually pretty fun when I pounced from tree top to tree top, and skittered across the rainforest floor.
As I took my warm bath, I also took the opportunity to wash my clothing, which ironically were still my panties and bra. Jon had helped to add some extra material to it so I wasn't walking around scantily clad all the time, but there wasn't much for us to work with besides add some thin strips of cloth that laid around the base, so it was still pretty revealing. I looked like Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi. Jon was a pretty good sewer though. If he decided he wouldn't kill himself, and actually found a woman of his own who cared for him, he'd be the perfect husband. I actually thought about the idea of being his girlfriend from time to time. I wasn't thinking humorously like this at the time though. I was thinking about our siege on the hive, which was only a few days upon us. We'd been preparing for this for months now, and although our chances of success were high, I was terrified. Who wouldn't be. I'd never been in a battle like the one we were about to face. Sure I'd killed xenomorphs before, but still. Jon had most likely been the same on his first mission on Talco though, so that made me feel a little less uneasy. Besides he was the one who was orchestrating this entire operation. He had years of experience under his belt. Not only that, but he was passing down some of his experience to me, so I could defend myself. Still I wasn't feeling easy.
I was also concerned about what happened when I got home. Obviously I was curious about what Weyland Yutani and supposedly my dad was up to. I was also nervous about that. What if Jon was right, and Dad was part of this? What would he do if I found out? What would he think? How would everybody else think and react to this? How would my sister Beth take this? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt my family, but I couldn't let this go. I had to make all of these secrets known to the colonies. But that would come later on. I just wanted to be done with this nightmare, before I began that one.
I also thought about Jon. What would he do once we were finished with the mission? Of course we were going to go our own separate ways. Jon would continue to do his work, until there were no more xenomorphs to deal with, and then he would end himself. Of course that didn't mean Weyland Yutani would stop what it was doing. They still had plenty of planets with xenomorphs infesting them, BG386 and LV426 most notably. Although there are laws against transporting xenomorphs to other planets given how dangerous they were, that wouldn't stop Weyland Yutani. But I didn't think that mattered to Jon. He just seemed concerned with the ones on this world. The ones the marines had been tasked with completely eradicating, but never could because of Weyland Yutani. That's why I made it my intent to stop them. Maybe, if I was successful this would not only help Jon, but all of the marines, not just on this planet but on all the others that had Weyland Yutani's name on it.
I was suddenly pulled away from my thoughts as four xenomorphs attacked me. The xenomorphs had made quite a few attempts to attack us every now and then, whenever Jon and I were training, preparing, eating, and even sleeping. Thankfully Jon was a very light sleeper during those times. Now they'd taken the opportunity to attack while I was separated from him.
I muttered under my breath, cursing myself for not paying attention like Jon had taught me to. That was a stupid mistake. Thankfully I lived to learn from it. I quickly hopped out of the warm bubbly pool, and grabbed my weapons. My wrist blades had an extended strap, and glove piece that enveloped my entire arm. The material this strap was made from was resistant to the acidic blood. Now although my tail is resistant to the acid blood, because of the protective exoskeleton surrounding it, that didn't mean the rest of me was. Jon recognized this and created the wristblade gauntlet like this to help protect me.
One of the creatures came pouncing off of a free to tackle me. I managed to put five shots into it with my 4506, killing it. The second one came at me from the brush. I only managed to graze the side of it's skull before it tackled me. Thankfully we landed in the warm hot spring. I grappled fiercely with the monster, kicking and swiping it with my tail and wristblades. The creature tried nailing me with it's own tail and claws. It even tried going for me with it's inner jaw. The creature had me by the throat with it's hands as it snapped it's inner jaw at my face. I brought my wristblades up and managed to cut the creature's tongue off. It recoiled off of me and went to stab me with it's tail, but I managed to stab it in the brain with mine before it could connect. I pulled myself out of the water in time to see the third one running after me. I rolled underneath it as it dived into the hot spring. I took that opportunity to go for the 4506, which I'd dropped when the other one tackled me, but the fourth one blocked me from it.
The two creatures surrounded me, and began to circle me, trying to get a good angle to attack me from. I was afraid, but I didn't show it. This wasn't going to be like what happened three months ago, where I ran like a scared child. I was going to stand my ground, and fight. One of them lunged at me and tried to cut me with it's claws, but I managed to block the blow with my wristblades. It tackled me in the process, but I got my feet underneath it's torso, and used it's forward momentum to push it off of me and send it into a tree. The other came at me and I swiftly swiped at it's torso with my tail. The blow wasn't fatal, and only managed to piss the thing off. The other one took the opportunity to pounce on my back and claw at me. It tried to puncture my head with it's tongue, but I managed to cut it's leg with my wristblades and throw it off, but in doing so I also got hit with a mild splash of the acid blood. I weakly feel to the ground grabbing at my leg as the acid sprayed on it. Thankfully it was only a small amount so the damage wasn't as severe as it would have been. The one I'd swiped in the chest was now on top of me and took a jab at me with it's tongue. I shielded the blow with my wristblades, and impaled it with my tail, before tossing it over me. The straps and glove on the wrist blades helped shield me from the acid spray. The last remaining xenomorph recovered just as I did and charged after me. It managed to scratch my torso leaving three bloody claw marks that stung. They weren't fatal though and only hurt. I blocked another series of fatal blows with the wristblades as the creature tried to tear at my face. The straps weren't very resistant to the xenomorph's claws and they ended up tearing, the creature even got my arm a few times. I managed to swipe back at the creature's arm cutting deeply into it. The monster made an elephant screech as it saw its limb dangled at the elbow. It then gave me a angry hiss before it charged. I ducked under it, and made it to my pistol. I shot the fcker with the remaining four rounds crippling it. Although it was still alive, it was weak. It tried to jab me with it's tail, but I cut that off as it swung at me. I then ran my wristblades through it's torso killing it.
I then howled in the air triumphantly, as Jon would do when he made a successful kill, before assessing my wounds. I rested myself in the warm water for a little to dilute the acid, and to let my wounds soak. I didn't bring a med kit with me stupidly, but thankfully I could use the sewn strips on my revealing garments as bandages for my arm and leg. I carefully wandered back to camp, not letting my guard down for even so much as a second. Thankfully I wasn't set upon during my journey back.
"What happened to you ,Jenny?" Jon said with concern as he saw me limp back to camp.
"I got ambushed by four of them while I was taking a bath. They nicked me pretty good, but I got them." I explained with a little pride in my voice.
Jon pulled out his medicomp and some bandages, and began treating my wounds. He soaked them in disinfectants, before rebandaging them. He also assessed the damage to my leg, which is what I was most worried about.
"You're lucky you only got spritzed, and not soaked or else you're leg would be gone. It will heal back completely ,though, plus you heal pretty quickly so you should be able to take this off in a couple days. We just need to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't get infected." He said dabbing more disinfectant on my leg, which stung like crap, before he wrapped it up. "You will need to take it easy though for the time being, so we won't be doing as much cardio as we normally do, alright?" He said in a caring tone.
"Yes ,Jon. Thank you." I replied, appreciative. I also liked the idea of not doing as much cardio.
"You say four attacked you, and you managed to take them all down?" He asked. I gave him a affirmative nod that that was true. "That's impressive. Especially with so little protection. You really are lucky ,pyode/kha'bj-te tarei'hsan." I still had no idea what that meant.
Our final day of training and heavy preparation came, and while I wasn't excited about it my adrenaline was pumping me up for it. I passed everything. I did my PT, my martial arts training, which on that day involved me fighting Jon. Our battle ended in a tie, but it was enough for me to pass. And finally my hunting practice. I actually managed to thwart Jon in that test, and win despite the fact he wasn't taking it easy on me. Then again he never took it easy on me during training, except for when he mentored me, so I had an idea of what to expect from him. Our last preparations were small. We simply gather up our munitions into the working APC, fueled it up with some gasoline, which was in the storage house with us, and rested ourselves for the remainder of the day.
Most of the afternoon I spent reading Jon's Bible. I continued to feel an uplifting presence each time I read it. The feeling was much stronger whenever I came upon a parable that made me ponder. The Bible actually gave plenty of very good moral questions I asked myself. It also gave a lot of very revelating answers to those questions.
2 Nephi chapter two was especially revelating, as it gives an explanation to why God gave us free agency to choose what we do in this life, as well as a reason for why we face situations that make us unhappy. Think about it, what would life really be like if everything was all good or all bad. Really what is happiness really worth if there is nothing negative to take away from it. Something must have an opposite to make it meaningful. Good and Evil, Right and Wrong, Light and Dark. I especially love that passage of the Scriptures. Moreover, I adore it because it's the one that made be believe the Gospel was true. And coincidently I was reading it on that very day.
Once I came to this revelation I decided to pray. As I prayed I felt this strange, spiritually uplifting presence I'd never felt before. I believed, and I have ever since then.
That evening, Jon gave me a marking ceremony. He insisted upon the ritual because my ability to kill four xenomorphs on my own, without him being present had impressed him. In his culture, young-blood hunters would mark themselves with the blood of a xenomorph they killed, showing other members of their society that they were blooded adults. I joined Jon in a reverent and respectful prayer before the ceremony began. Jon tied my hair in a fashionable pony tail before he knelt down, took out a xenomorph's finger claw, and gently pressed it against my right arm. The acid stung a little as he made the same symbol he'd made on his mask on my arm. It was a little uncomfortable and kind of worrying, but it wasn't to bad. It was like getting a tattoo. Jon also had a few gifts for me. Jon had taken a trip to the hot springs and retrieved one of the bodies, which he used with some of the armor and meshing he had to craft a suit for me. The suit was kind of revealing, but it was much more protective than what I'd been wearing for the past three months, and I wouldn't have to worry as much about acid damage. He also used the tails of the creatures to make a combi-stick, and he used one of the elongated heads for part of my bio-mask. The jaw had been removed from the rest of the head leaving my mouth visibly exposed. The rest of the skull had been hollowed out, and made for my head, and even my hair to fit inside of it. I got a feel for how the vision modes, and targeting system worked. Jon also gave me his wristbracer and plasma caster. He also showed me how to activate the cloaking camouflage, and self destruction sequence as well as how to regulate the explosive force, and how to deactivate it. Even with that calming bit of news I was still very concerned about having an explosive devise strapped to my arm.
I have to admit I looked very cool with my armor and weapons. I was decked out, armed to the teeth, packing heavy heat, whatever you wanted to call it. Although given what we were about to go up against the next day there was a good reason for it.
After I was marked and suited up, I knelt down as Jon bestowed the honorable warrior nickname he had for me, "Pyode/Kha'bj-te Tarei'hsan." Jon explained that it meant "Soft and Reckless Scorpion." Since I was part human, I was given the designation "soft" because the Yautja commonly calls us humans "pyode amedha" or "soft meat." It was also used as a respectful description of my friendly and helpful character. That last part though I feel was a little sarcastic. "Kha'bj-te" was meant to extenuate my reckless behavior, as the word literally meant "reckless." It also demonstrated how lucky I am all the time. The last word ",Tarei'hsan," meant scorpion, which was given to me because I reminded Jon of a scorpion. Jon bowed to me, as did I to him, and the ceremony ended.
Jon also had another surprise for me as he'd prepared a vegetarian dish for me. I enjoyed freshly picked gwevle berries and vergle fruit that evening. This was a very nice change of pace from what I normally ate since Jon and I commonly snacked on the local wildlife around the area, which I still despised, but tolerated.
We went to bed early that evening. Although Jon wouldn't be waking me up super early like normal, because he wanted to attack during the day when they were more inactive, we needed as much rest as we could get before we engaged in an all-out-attack.
That night as I sat in my tent I thought about Jon. I thought about him quite a lot back then. I had grown to care for him quite a bit. I didn't even care for him as my friend any more really. He was more of a close companion to me. I still wanted to be his friend. I wasn't giving up on him until he understood how much he was worth to me. I loved him. Yes, loved. I wasn't going to hide my feelings. I loved Jon. I would make him see that sooner or later.
I was ripped out of my peaceful sleep when the jungle erupted with screaming and roaring. It was still dark out, but I had my bio-mask with me to see what was going on, although I'd seen this multiple times before, so I didn't need to see what was going on in order to know what was going on. Jon was having another episode. You could say I lost my senses, and was incredibly foolish for doing this, but I just couldn't help myself. I had to calm Jon down. I couldn't spend another night hearing him scream and struggle like that.
"Jon!" I called to him. He turned his head sharply and looked at me with a predatory glare that was hidden behind his mask. He roared intimidating, as I cautiously approached him. "Jon, it's me. Remember me? Jenny?" I asked him speaking as softly as I could. Jon was still out of control and took a swipe at me with his claws. "Jon! Please stop it! It's me Jenny! I'm not going to hur-!" I almost finished before I was backhanded into a tree. My mask absorbed some of the impact for me, so it didn't hurt as much as it could have.
Jon made another challenging roar before he began charging towards me. I rolled away, as he brought his foot down on me in an attempt to stomp my head in. "Jon! Stop it please! I won't hurt you!" My words still didn't get through to him and he clawed at me some more. One of his blows scratched me causing me to fall backwards. He then grabbed ahold of my foot and threw me at another tree. That time it hurt. "Jon, please don't make me do this. Please." I pleaded with him one last time.
Jon roared defensively. That wasn't going to end up happening. I charged the same time he did. I jumped over him and wrapped my tail around his throat. I didn't want to have to do that, but given how he was reacting, I had little choice. He grabbed my tail and swung me around before I lost my hold on him and I was thrown into my tent. I untangled myself in time to avoid another attack. I ran around him trying to get a good angle on him, dodging his attacks as I went. I managed to leap on his back and ride him like a jockey. I still refused to hurt him. I just needed to wait until his episode was over, and I could talk him down. That was easier said than done though.
He managed to rip me off his back and throw me away again. He threw his fist at me as I tried to get back up, which I blocked it with my arms. That was a mistake. He hit with the force of a dump truck which sent me flying through the air again. That blow left a bruise on my arm. I scrapped his leg with my tail and tackled him to the ground. I left him no room for him to recover, and began swiftly running and pouncing around him, hitting him as I went. Eventually though, Jon did recover and he managed grabbed me by the tail. Jon slammed me to the ground over and over again. Thankfully this time he didn't throw me away. I let him come closer to me, making him think he was about to deliver a death blow, but I brought my foot into his crotch. Even he wasn't immune to that kind of punishment. He lowered his head allowing me to kick him in the face. "I'm so sorry about that Jon." I apologized.
Jon slowly recovered, grunting and clicking his mandibles in pain. For a moment I thought he was coming out of it. "Jon? Are you alright now?" I asked stupidly. He back handed me in the face hard, this time drawing blood. He also managed to knock my mask off with that blow. I touched my nose and felt it run wet with blood.
I heard Jon approaching from behind, and I turned to face him. "Please! Jon! Stop it!" I begged him tearfully. He stopped his approach, and suddenly fell weakly to his knees as he grasped at his head. He was finally coming out of his episode. He grunted weakly as he looked around himself.
"Jenny?" He said concerned as he saw me.
"Jon!" I called as I ran to him. He saw the blood on my nose and immediately began chastising himself.
"I did it again? Didn't I? I hurt you?" He said with an emotional hiss.
"No it's fine it's just a nose bleed." I assured him.
"Yeah and I could've done worse to you too!" He snapped at me with concern.
"Jon you weren't in control it's not your fault." I tried to calm him.
"Yes, but I could've killed you and then what would've happened ,Jenny!" He responded. I could see he was trying to keep me safe, but I could've cared less about my well-being. Besides it was over now, and I was still alive. I wrapped my arms around him in a loving hug. "What are you doing?" He asked. I made no response and simply kept myself attached to him. Jon understood my gesture and immediately began trying to force me off. "No no no no no."
I slapped him on the face as hard as I could and erupted, "No ,Jon! I'm not going to go away! You may not want this, but I know you need it! I can't sleep another night seeing you like this!"
"I could've killed you!" He proclaimed.
"Jon you didn't mean to do it, and I know you didn't! But I don't care! I love you ,Jon!" I told him.
Jon remained motionless for a moment after he heard me say that. "What?"
"I said, I love you!" I bellowed with tears in my eyes. "I know you don't want this, but I'm not going to see you spend another night like this! I can't stand to hear you scream and cry like this anymore! I love you!" I told him. He could see the look of desperate concern and care on my face. I only cared about him, and I wasn't going to quit showing my affection for him. Jon knew this, and he knew he couldn't stop me.
"Fine." Jon relented. "You win."
I forced him to sleep in the tent with me that night. He made some argument, but I assured him we were only sleeping together. I wasn't going to see him spend another night out on the cold hard ground. I at least wanted him to be warm. He wanted to dress my injuries first, and I agreed to let him do so. We set the tent back up before we both went inside. Jon was a little big for the tent and had to rest at an angle in order to fit inside of it.
Once he managed to get himself in, I requested something a little unexpected. "Please take of your mask ,Jon." I asked from him
"What, No-" He tried to protest.
"Just do it! I don't want to talk to you through that stupid mask! I want to see your real face!" I screamed at him. Jon could understand I wasn't in the mood to take anything from him anymore, nor did he have the energy to do or say anything about it. He made a clicked sigh, and reached for two small tubes that affixed his mask to his chest armor. They began releasing pressurized air as he pulled them out. He then took the mask off and I finally got to see what he really looked like.
His face was exactly what I thought it would look like. Mandibles, sharp teeth, and all. Jon kept his mandibles covering his exposed mouth. His entire face was a light brown color just the same as the rest of his body was. The top of his head had this yellow V shaped accent that extended down his crest which stopped just above his eye brows. And his eyes... He had heterochromia so his eyes were two different colors. One of them his was a light cyan blue, and the other one was a fiery red. They were beautiful. I stared at them with loving interest. Jon mistook my starring for disgusted awe.
"Yes, I know. I'm an ugly mother fcker." I could finally hear his voice past the echo of his bio-mask. His voice still had that perfect American English accent only it wasn't metallic or echoed by the mask anymore. "You don't have to hide it ,Jenny. I know what you're thinking. I won't be offended if you say it." He moved his mandibles in resonance with his voice.
"I'm looking at your eyes ,Jon." I told him.
"What about them?" He questioned me with a confused look.
"They're beautiful." I told him truthfully.
"They're just my eyes. What about them, or anything makes me beautiful?" He couldn't understand.
"You mean no one has ever told you that you look handsome, or beautiful before? Your friends or family?" I asked him.
"No. I never cared what they thought about my appearance." He was still confused by my questions, but made no move to protest. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I think you are." I replied. He scoffed a short laugh, thinking I was joking. "I mean it ,Jon. Look at you. You aren't ugly. Yes you have a crab like face, but have you ever taken a look at yourself. You're character is beautiful. I've told you this numerous times now, but I can see it in your eyes, in your actions. Not just that, but you are beautiful just for who and what you are. Besides... I think your pretty hot to be honest." Jon made a short smile with his mandibles, but he still had a hard time believing me.
"Why do you care so much ,Jenny? Forgive me for asking, but why does this seem so important to you?" He questioned me.
"Because after all you've done for me, I believe you are handsome and beautiful in your own way, and that is why I love you." I said wrapping myself around him in a firm hug.
I could feel his arms slowly wrap around me as well. I could tell by his jerking motions and his nervous growling he was unsure of what was going on. Yes, he understood I was giving him my affection, but it'd been so long since he'd been given any kind of endearment he didn't know how to interpret what was happening, nor could he properly react to it. He did it though and he kept his arms wrapped around me.
I released my hold on him for a short moment and quickly moved to kiss him on the face. I could see the surprised look on his face before I closed my eyes to cherish it. He'd never been shown this kind of tenderness before in his life. Even after I stopped and returned to hugging him, I could still tell he was processing what just happened. He eventually did though, and we kept ourselves wrapped up together lovingly.
That had done it. I could feel it as he held me close to him with loving protection. I had given him a reason to live. He now had somebody he could care for. He was finally happy.
I heard Jon's mandibles click together softly as he began to cry joyfully. "Thank-you ,Jenny. Thank-you so so much. I love you too." He said to me. I said a prayer to God thanking Him for allowing me to finally get through to Jon, and show him how much I cared about him. I asked that he'd continue to keep us safe, and that our mission tomorrow be successful, and that our care for one another would continue to grow even after that. I continued asking that my family would stay safe and more importantly that He would keep the rest of the colonies, and marines ,especially Jon, safe. I ended with a reverent Amen, and drifted peacefully to sleep.
And I am done with yet another chapter. So I wanted to grow Jon and Jenny's relationship further, since this 8s part romance, and I really hope I succeeded in doing so without making it to cringy and awkward. I also tried to further the story a little since it's kind of been on hold for the characters development and all. Also speaking of the story I plan on making the story a lot more detailed. It's going to be in three or four main parts and this is the ending of the first part. I plan on introducing more characters in the future, and I hope that the next parts will not take nearly as long as this one was. I hope you are all enjoying the story so far and I'll keep posting them on this story. Thanks for reading guys, especially you NeverNeverGirl and I'll be ready with the next chapter as soon as possible.