January

Dear Teddy,

Thank you for being there and being patient with Manda. It sounds like you're good for her. You started your new job today. How did it go? Any promising residents you could send my way? How are the people at mercy west? I'm sure you impressed them with what a badass you are.

Sorry I haven't written in a few days I've been in another camp and had no computer access. I know it's hard for you when I don't write. It's been a hard run. We've had a lot of patients and not enough surgeons. With you and Riggs gone we only have one cardio person. Yesterday I had to improvise a CABG. The patient was transferred to Germany so he should be okay. We needed you yesterday and how your always calm in chaos. There was no one to steady us. We had 21 come in yesterday and 19 made it. We're still seeing a lot of local women who have been harmed and we need you and Megan with that. The two of you were always so good at getting them calm and treating them.

I know you have an OB appointment tomorrow and it's 12 weeks. Please send me the pictures I need to see how our baby has grown in the last month. Are you feeling any better? You haven't said how you're feeling for days. Your pajamas are still under my pillow but they're losing the smell of your perfume.

I have bad news my love. They're keeping me here another month. The group that was supposed to come this week for us to do the transition isn't leaving America until feb 2. The earliest I'll be home now I'm told is March 8. I'm trying to fight it that I need to be home with you. Smith understands but it's out of his control he knows I want to go home to you and get ready for our baby. I'm so sorry Teddy. I wish I was writing that I was coming home. I will make this up to you. I'm sorry.

Give our baby a kiss for me.

I love you,

Owen

Dear Owen,

I'd be lying if I said I was okay with the month-long extension of your tour. I miss you and it gets harder each day. Our baby is really starting to grow, I'm going to need new pants soon but your mom says she can't tell unless she really looks for it. Mercy West is okay. I'm teaching Jackson Avery, the grandson of Harper Avery so no pressure there. Jackson is good but he could be great if he stopped sliding by on his name and looks. I see right through it and he won't get away with it. Only one of my other residents is worth noticing, she's a quick thinker and dedicated. She could be good with practice and confidence.

I saw Dr Deluca today and the baby looks good. 12 weeks 3 days I could start saying something but will wait until your home or it's obvious. I'm starting to feel better. My energy is back to almost normal and I haven't been sick in a few days. Dr Deluca is happy with how things are progressing. I think you'll like her when you meet her. I saw her numbers and they're incredible. She's never lost a mom or a baby and has the lowest complication rate I've ever seen. She's asked me to start thinking about what I want when the baby is born and I've told her to wait for you to be home. I can't make the big decisions without you. By the time you get home the baby should be kicking and we can find out the gender.

I'm sorry you lost so many in the last attack. I wish I was there to help because we know that having as many of us as possible helps. I understand why they're keeping you to train your replacement. I know it's hard for you to be away for so long. We'll keep counting down the days and soon you'll be home.

Beth moved out of the apartment and this weekend Don and Evelyn are going to start ripping out the carpet. I said I would help but they won't let me. The apartment is in okay shape over all. It needs to be painted and the floors done there's some nail polish stains in the carpet. We might paint first when there's no carpet so we don't have to worry about making a mess of it. I'm thinking white for most of it and then yellow in the baby's room. What do you think? It's your place.

I wish there was a way I could still work with you and keep our baby safe. A cabg on your own is impressive. As long as your patient made it to a cardio surgeon he'll be fine.

I miss you. I want to be in your arms again. For now we keep counting the days and doing the best we can. I love you and miss you. I stole another shirt from your room here last night. I have four or five now. I sleep in them until they stop smelling like you. I think your mom is on to me but she just smiles when she sees me in them. I won't steal them much longer, I'll stretch them out. Your flannel button downs are my favorite. I'm constantly cold after years in the desert sun. It snowed today and it was beautiful. I stood outside after dinner and watched Don and Manda build an igloo and caught the snowflakes in my hands.

I'm going to try emailing Smith and whoever I can to get you sent home sooner. Maybe hearing from me might help.

Baby says hi and wants to know if you like their pictures.

I love you so much,

Teddy

February

Hello my love,

It's been a rocky three days. The new team has arrived, all men, you and Megan would hate it. They have no skills. Teddy, they can't do the job one that was with me today has only had a year and a half of residency. He's never done a solo surgery. How do we expect him to save soldiers? He has three weeks to do a whole trauma surgery residency. I've told smith who shrugged it off. I think he's planning for us to stay longer. If anything comes up I'll remind him that I can't. You've been alone too long now.

I loved the pictures you sent a few days ago. They are starting to grow and you look amazing. I wish I was there to hold you and to kiss you. I want to tell you how gorgeous you are in person. This is getting harder every day.

Say hi to our little soldier for me.

I love you more than words can say,

Owen

Teddy read the email and cried. She wanted him and she missed him. They had been affectionate even as friends he would hug her when she had a tough day and hold her when she had cried over her family and Allison. She wanted him home. She wanted him to hold her, to kiss her and make love to her. She didn't know if it was the hormones driving her crazy but she wanted his lips on her. She kept dreaming about their time in Vancouver and the nights she had snuck into his room or he had slipped into her bed after everyone else was asleep. She imagined the time they nearly got caught in the on call room. She needed him not just emotionally, now she needed him physically. She had never craved another person like this. It was illogical, irrational, she decided to blame it on hormones. But she knew that she would end up touching herself later, a sad substitute for what she really wanted. Three more weeks she promised herself. You can make it three more weeks. She decided to pour out her tough day in an email to him.

Hello love,

To say I miss you is an understatement. I want you here, need you here and not just to talk to. I'm wearing maternity clothes full time now and had to ask for bigger scrubs. I've announced my pregnancy at work and reactions were mixed. I doubt I'll be asked to continue when my contract runs out. Seattle Grace is trying to absorb mercy west anyway so we'll see. If I need a new job after time off with the baby I'll look then I can survive a few months off and be comfortable almost a year if I'm careful.

I don't know what to tell you about your interns it's not a place to send unseasoned people. You need real surgeons. I will be pissed at the system if they extend your tour again. I need you home. I can't do much longer alone. I have no friends here, your my best friend, Carly doesn't care. I've tried to see and connect with my sister so many times and I can't. She's impossible. I'm going to a baby shower in a couple weeks for her and her registry is ridiculous she has the crib on there. I've been looking at nursery furniture as I'm picking out things for the apartment but I want you with me for that. The apartment looks good, the floors you chose are in and look amazing with the white walls. I did buy our baby's first few outfits when I was shopping with Carly yesterday, I don't know why she needs all that stuff she had four different types of pacifier and six different types of bottle. My sister I don't understand. How Carly can be so shallow, she's met you but doesn't believe you exist she's seen pictures of us together and doesn't believe it. She thinks because I chose my education and career that no man will ever want me. She said that today that no man would ever want someone with my history that being a surgeon, being in the army no one would want me. It took everything I had not to cry then and there. I made it home and to my room before I started crying. Now I'm worried your only with me because of the baby.

I really should stop whining. I know your day was harder than mine. I'm praying the replacement you need will be there soon so you can come home.

I saw Dr Deluca on Thursday and we'll get more pictures. It's also the one where I can find out the gender. I want you with me to find out so I'm going to wait. I want you there for that.

I love you,

Teddy.

An hour later Teddy who had been laying on her bed pouting jumped up.

"Hi baby, are you kicking mommy," Teddy asked.

Teddy ran up the stairs, she had to share it with another person.

"Evelyn," Teddy called, "Evelyn come quick."

"Is everything okay sweetheart," Evelyn asked, coming downstairs in her pajamas.

"They kicked," Teddy cheered, "the baby kicked."

"Is that the first," Evelyn asked.

"Yes," Teddy smiled.

"Can I," Evelyn asked, reaching towards Teddy.

"Yes," Teddy agreed. She pointed to where she was feeling the kicks then felt the warmth of Evelyn's hand through her thin T-shirt. Teddy's eyes filled with tears. She should have him here. It should be Owen here for this.

"You want him here don't you," Evelyn asked.

Teddy nodded.

"It's okay sweetheart," Evelyn said, "just a couple more weeks. I know this is hard on your own."

"What if," Teddy asked.

"Then we get through it and we tell this little one how much their daddy loved them," Evelyn said. "But he's coming home. Owen will come home to both of you. I've heard you encouraging Amanda to talk to the people around her. You need to listen to that yourself. You've been holding it all in and that's not good for you or the baby. What can I do?"

"Can we have tea or is it too late," Teddy asked.

"You sit and get comfy all but the kettle on," Evelyn replied.

Evelyn made two cups of tea and brought them to the couch where Teddy sobbed out how she was feeling and the fight with her sister over their mom's locket.

"How long have you had that necklace," Evelyn asked.

"Dad gave it to me when I was 16," Teddy said, "it's only come off for a few medical procedures and gymnastics competitions since. I never take it off I feel naked without it."

"Why did Carly want it," Evelyn asked.

"For her daughter," Teddy answered, "I have mom's locket and Carly has moms cross."

"One each is fair," Evelyn said, "I did it with John's things. Owen has the St Christopher's medal and Megan had his cross, it's still upstairs in her jewelry box."

"I have the medal for now," Teddy said, "I think he wanted to make sure if anything happens our baby gets it."

"He would," Evelyn agreed, "he loves you. Teddy, I think he loved you before you were a couple. I thought he was in love with you the first time he brought you home."

"I've loved him since then," Teddy admitted, "it's silly but I want to share all of this with him. It should have been him feeling them with me."

"I know," Evelyn said, "you want to share all that with the father of your child. It's normal to want him here for that. Will you find out this week?"

"No," Teddy assured, "I need Owen here for that."

"Of course you do," Evelyn smiled, "I'm off for your appointment if you'd like company. You don't have to go alone."

"I'd like that," Teddy agreed.

The phone rang and Evelyn grabbed it hearing, collect call from Owen Hunt she accepted the charges and passed the phone to Teddy.

"Hi," Teddy said, "they kicked. Owen they kicked."

"When," he asked.

"Started an hour ago and they haven't stopped," she beamed.

"I wish I was there," he said, "your email, are you okay?"

"Today sucked," she admitted, "but the first baby kicks and you calling turned it around."

"I want to feel them," Owen sighed.

"Three weeks," Teddy said, "in three weeks think how strong they'll be."

"Are you okay," Owen checked again.

"Emotional but I blame hormones. Your mom and I were having tea. She's awesome," she assured, "I'm fine. I miss you."

"Your email I was worried about you ," he said.

"Don't worry about me," she said, "how are you?"

"Homesick," he admitted, "21 days. We can do this. I need to see you and be home. I can't take this life anymore. Every time they move me further from The green zone wondering if I'll ever see our child. Every time I get in a helicopter or plane wondering if I'll see your face again or hear you laugh. Teddy, I can't do it. I'm done. I need to come home."

"I know Owen," she soothed, "I worry two. But you will come home to us and we will be together."

"Smith is saying another month possibly but I can't do that," he growled.

"We'll make it work," she soothed, "I'm not a damsel in distress. It's one bad day. I know what you're doing and seeing. It's hell I know that. It's a nightmare every time they bring people in hurt."

They talked for a while catching up, both trying to be positive.

March

Teddy,

Only another week. I've been promised they won't do an 11th hour extension. One week and I'm home and you're in my arms.

The replacements are looking better. This second set needs practice but they won't kill anyone. They work hard and are making progress. McKellar is coming home and her family is Spokane so she's routed through Seattle for them to pick her up. She wants to say hi at the airport. I think she misses you. I don't know if I want to share that moment. Moms already said all of you are coming to pick me up. I know it's a big deal to her but I really just want time with you. Manda told me she'll believe I'm home when she sees me at the airport. It sounds like you're making progress with her. Having her sleep over when mom and don went away was a good idea, thank you for giving them that chance. Meg would hang out with Amanda so mom had time with Don. It's only in the last couple years Amanda has liked or trusted me. I think she knows you better now. I know you'd like to work things out with Carly. Maybe when I'm home we can have them for dinner. It sounds like her biggest issue is that she doesn't see me. She knows her comments about your dad and Shelly are irrational. Your mom you were 8, I think Carly is jealous of you and everything you've accomplished and trying to hurt you.

6 more sleeps and I'm on the plane and 7 for you and I'm in your arms.

Tell our baby I love them and can't wait to meet them.

Love,

Owen

Teddy smiled. Less than a week and he was on his way. For real this time. She wanted to do some more little things in the apartment that now almost felt like home. She wanted to finish the photo frames and get them up. The pictures of the two of them and their friends during down time. She had one of them on the seawall in Vancouver she loved and printed the largest of them all to go in the center of the frame. She also had an ultrasound of their baby printed to go in the frame. She was happy with the dark grey sectional that faced the tv and gas fireplace. She seldom actually watched the tv she liked to read. She would turn the fire on, light a few candles and curl up after work with her book and tea, often reading out loud to the baby.

Owen,

I'm counting the hours until your home. I will be at the airport but the baby has grown so much you won't recognize me. I'm so excited you're finally coming home. 4 months apart is too much. You come home then 16 weeks until the baby arrives. Today was quiet. I was off, which is always harder. Carly called but I'm ignoring her to make a point. I have a couple little things to finish on the apartment before your home but we're in good shape. I've tried not to make it too feminine I know you would hate that. Everything is white, and grey with some blue. This is the first time I've splurged and bought new things. It's nice to have things that are just ours.

It's official Mercy West is merging with Seattle Grace and I doubt I'll survive the merger. They merge august 1 and I'll be on maternity leave. I know I have no protection with that. I'll apply to Seattle Grace after my leave and reapply to other hospitals around, county was interested in, so was the University of Washington to work in their hospital and teach at the medical school so it's an option. I'll find something. I'm sure there's military positions around here with the VA or there's Matigan and army hospital not too far. I've been called to consult so maybe I could work there. I'll get a job once I'm ready to work after baby.

I'm counting the minutes until your home,

Teddy