Owen tiptoed into the dark apartment after a gruelling day. He had been in the OR most of it and stuck with Dr Yang. He put his bag down by the door and went to Allison's nursery first but the baby wasn't in the crib. At three months they were trying to move her to the crib from the bassinet beside Teddy. He decided to check their room. He quickly found Teddy and Allison snuggled in the bed.
"There you are," Owen smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting his arms around Teddy.
"Hey," Teddy smiled, turning her head to kiss Owen.
"She's eating," Owen asked.
"Yes then I'll put her in the crib again," Teddy said, "I had her down in the crib but she just needed to be held and with the storm I wanted to curl up in bed."
"I'll put her back to bed," Owen offered.
"That would be good," Teddy agreed.
Owen took the baby back to her bed and tucked her in.
"How was your day," Teddy asked.
"Long I really needed you today," Owen said, "the residents need you to teach cardiac traumas."
"I met Yang I wasn't thrilled when we came by last week," Teddy said.
"I kicked her out of my OR today," Owen said.
"Flirting again," Teddy asked.
"Yes," Owen said, "but I only want to be with you."
"Your just saying that," Teddy said.
"No," Owen beamed, kissing her, "two more weeks."
"Two more," Teddy agreed.
"It's been almost a year since we worked together," Owen complained.
"I know. I'm looking forward to sharing an OR again," Teddy smiled, "but."
"Your not ready to leave Allison," Owen asked.
"I am," Teddy said, "but I like sharing an apartment and"
"A bed," Owen cut her off before kissing her again.
"That two," Teddy giggled before kissing him.
Owen slid his hands under Teddy's tank top. She pulled away.
"Teddy," Owen asked.
"I still don't feel like me," she whispered.
"Teddy," Owen smiled, "you are gorgeous."
"I need to work out more before you see me," she whispered, "I don't look like I did before."
"You had our daughter," he said, "our beautiful perfect daughter. You are perfect Teddy."
"You'll think I'm repulsive," she said looking at the blanket.
"No," Owen said, "gorgeous. Teddy I fell in love with your personality, with your mind, with how much you love people. Those are the reasons I fell in love with you. I love you for the person you are. You are my favorite adult on this planet. I am in love with you. I have been in love with you since the day I met you."
"Owen," she whispered.
"Come here," he said, pulling her closer.
"Can we turn the light off," she asked.
"We can," he agreed, not sure why she was so hesitant for him to see her when they had gone swimming a couple days before. They hadn't actually had sex since Allison was born. First it was too soon and she didn't get cleared for anything until Allison was 6 weeks then she had still been exhausted. They had talked that she wanted to but she was nervous.
Owen turned out the light and laid down in bed Teddy snuggled next to him.
"Can we go really slow," she whispered shyly.
"We can," he agreed, "can I kiss you?"
"You can," she agreed.
He kissed her gently and she slipped her tongue into his mouth slowly exploring. He echoed her movements letting Teddy lead.
She felt him get hard against her hip. She wanted him but she was nervous.
He ran his hand down her back and shifted to kiss her neck finding the spot that always made her moan.
"Owen," she moaned.
He slipped his hands under her tank top as he kept kissing her neck making her moan.
"Yes," she whispered before sliding her hands under his T-shirt.
He began kissing her collarbone and shoulders.
"Yes," she moaned, "more."
Owen lifted her top over her head and she froze.
"You're gorgeous," Owen whispered.
"No," she whispered, "I can't, I'm scared."
Owen stopped, "what do you want to do?"
"Can we just cuddle," Teddy asked, "I'm sorry Owen. I thought I was ready but we haven't since the night before she was born and I don't look or feel the same."
"Teddy you are stunning," he said.
She pulled the blanket around her, "a year ago we were in the army and I looked good. I don't look like that."
"What can I do," he asked.
"Just hold me," she whispered, "and give my shirt back."
He passed her her top.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"I love you," he smiled, "I love you for your heart and your mind. I love you for all the things inside. You are the best friend I've ever had, you are the love of my life. Teddy please stop being so hard on yourself."
"You fell in love with GI Jane," Teddy said, "kick ass army surgeon. Now I'm just mommy."
"I love you," Owen said, "you are both Teddy. I like seeing you with Allison and hearing how you talk to her as you do everything and tell her what's going on around her. Teddy talk to me. You have to talk to me. What's going on? I'm worried about you. Every time I go to touch you you pull away."
"I want to but I'm scared you'll find me disgusting," Teddy admitted, "and I'm failing as a mom. I'm a horrible mother."
"Never," Owen said, "I watched you give birth in our apartment and all I could think was how amazing you are, how strong and powerful. Yes it was not how we planned and it was messy but it was also beautiful. Seeing you hold her for the first time, watching her enter this world. Teddy, that was a miracle. You did that. You are strong and powerful. Allison will spend everyday with you in her corner knowing she has the world's strongest mom who will always be there to hold her up. Teddy you are an incredible mom. Our daughter is so loved. She's loved and she loves you."
"She's 3 months," Teddy said.
"Teddy she's growing and thriving," Owen said.
"Still not sleeping through the night," Teddy said.
"She's sleeping for longer," Owen replied.
"I'm exhausted," Teddy said, "I haven't had a full night's sleep since Vancouver. But I was used to a certain level of sleep deprivation. I've now crossed the line to where it's not fine. I can't do this."
"Do we want to supplement with formal and I can take some night feeds," Owen offered.
"There's bottles in the fridge and milk in the freezer," Teddy said.
"Tonight I'm on baby duty you sleep," Owen said, "you were half asleep with her when I came home."
"I was going to put her in the bassinet," Teddy said, "can you just hug me and hold me?"
"I can," Owen agreed.
"We will soon," Teddy said, "I know you want to, I want to. I just need to feel more like me first. I love you. I want to be with you. I love our family."
"I want you to be happy," Owen said, "if you want to wait."
"The first night we got together we made her," Teddy said, "I'm worried you will see me really see me and not find me attractive."
"Never," Owen promised, "Teddy you are the love of my life and the perfect woman for me. Nothing will ever change that."
"Do you regret coming home," Teddy asked.
"No," Owen, "coming home to you and Allison. To our family. Teddy, this is the life I want. You and I, Allison. Teddy, this is the life I always dreamed of."
"With Beth not me," Teddy whined.
"No," Owen said, "once I met you I wanted it with you. It just took me years to have the courage to do it."
"Then we jumped right in," Teddy said, "we didn't have a first date until you were home from Iraq."
"I know," Owen said, "we've skipped a lot of steps."
"Steps that would have prepared me for all of this," Teddy said, "I'm trying Owen. I'm overwhelmed. I want my mom, I want Shelly. I can't tell your mom."
"Why don't I take some time off," Owen said, "I have personal days. I'll take the next couple weeks."
"Can we trade when I go back? You take a few days with her," Teddy asked.
"We can," Owen said, "I'll take a couple weeks with her. Then we can trade things around so she's home with us as much as possible."
"I'm head of cardio I'm there 5 days a week," Teddy said.
"Trauma is a rotation," Owen said, "it might be harder for us but maybe I take my 3 days off Sunday, Monday, Tuesday so she's only in daycare Wednesday, Thursday, Friday."
"We could," Teddy said, "that would help. That would really help."
Teddy yawned.
"Go to sleep," Owen said, "just lay down and I'm right here. Don't worry about the baby. I have her tonight you're going to sleep I've got it."
"I can't sleep if I hear her," Teddy said.
"But you're going to trust me," Owen said, "right now you'll sleep."
"You're mad at me," Teddy said, "disappointed."
"No," Owen assured, "I love you. We're going to lay down and I'm going to put my arms around you. You're going to close your eyes and we'll sleep."
Seconds later the were snuggling in bed.