Day One, night.

REDMOND ALDERIDGE, DISTRICT ELEVEN MALE

As the last face fades from the sky and the anthem of Panem booms throughout the arena, I pull away from the wide stone window and turn back towards Calandra and Kepler, who are watching me with worried expressions. They hadn't wanted to watch the projections with me.

On one hand, I don't blame them. It seems like a sick thing, to eagerly await the reveal of the dead. On the other hand, in my opinion, the more you know the better. But I understand not wanting to watch one face after another appear in the sky. That's why I watched, so they wouldn't have to.

I rattle off the list of the dead. "And, Kepler, your district partner is still out there. Loren's fine, wherever she is."

He nods, but his eyes are almost glassy. I've seen that kind of look before, when someone's just not there in the moment. When I'm watching the cards as my brother gambles, the distant stare of a card shuffler is almost always a clue that something's wrong, or they'll be easy to fool. Usually, it's the liquor or morphling that has that effect. Or occasionally, especially in older folks, it's a good clue that they survived some shit in the Dark Days.

It puts me on edge to see it in Kepler. It's not a good thing anymore; there's no money to be swindled or free food to be had. It just makes him unpredictable.

Calandra pats him on the back. "Maybe some sleep will help your hand feel better."

"Are we gonna sleep here?" I ask. The room we're in looks almost comfy. There are several low couches along the walls, and chairs around a table. It's big, though, and I don't feel like there's enough space to hide in case we're found. None of us are sure how big this arena is—we ran up at least one flight of stairs to reach this room, but who knows how many floors there are?

Calandra bites her lips and surveys our surroundings. "It looks good to me. Those two couches in the corner look comfortable enough, and the further away from the door the better right?"

"Right." Kepler and I say in unison.

"Two people sleep and one acts as a lookout, perhaps?" she suggests.

I nod. "I'll take first watch. I'll stay up until I can't bear being awake any longer."

The torch burning on the wall keeps the room from getting too dark, even as the sky outside sinks into pitch black darkness sprinkled with stars. We move away from the window into the corner of the room surrounded by stone, and start to arrange ourselves on the couches. Calandra slumps into one, and I sit on the flagstone in front of her. Kepler curls up on the other, facing away from both of us and burying his face into the plush cushion.

"Goodnight," he mumbles.

"Goodnight," Calandra murmurs back, "you've had a long day, you deserve some good rest. And goodnight to you too, Redmond. Wake me up when you're ready to sleep."

"Night, Callie," I say.

She leans forward and whispers in my ear, so quietly I can barely hear her, "We need to talk." She spreads out on the couch, but reaches out and squeezes my shoulder, not releasing her grip.

I nod, but say nothing.

I try to become engrossed in the flickering of the torch, seconds ticking by as Calandra's nails dig into my skin. I reach up and pat her hand, and the grip lets up slightly but doesn't vanish.

I don't know how long we sit there, unmoving, barely breathing. I focus on Kepler. Is he waiting for us to move? Is he asleep?

He sighs, and what feels like an eternity later I hear his breath slip into a deep, peaceful rhythm. He's definitely asleep now— his tortured soul, haunted by Aviva, hasn't let him breathe deeply all day.

I tap Calandra's hand twice, and she sits up ever so slowly. Inch by inch, we rise to our feet and creep a few feet away, trying not to rustle our clothes.

"What are you thinking about?" I whisper, trying to keep my voice as low as possible.

Calandra's response is barely louder than her breathing, and even right next to her I have to strain to hear it. "This isn't good."

"What do you mean? Him?"

"Yeah, he's falling apart. Plus, we have no supplies. No food, no water, not even a blanket. All we have is a single knife."

I nod. "I'm thirsty. Food we can make it another day without, especially if we don't have to run or move. But water… we need that as quickly as possible."

"Do you think we have sponsors? Why hasn't Fallon sent us anything yet?"

"Maybe he's waiting til tomorrow morning, trying to space things out for us?"

Calandra nods, but looks worried. "I'm getting afraid we won't have anything. What then?"

I shrug. "We'll figure it out tomorrow. In the meantime- what to do about Kepler?"

"He's not in a good way. Aviva really messed him up. He can barely use his hand, and he's barely a shell of the boy he was days ago."

"And if we get supplies, we'll have to share them. His mentor hasn't sent anything either."

"Redmond, I really hate to say it but… I don't want to share anything with him."

"Me neither."

"I really feel horrible talking like this, but I don't think he's a smart ally."

I look at my district partner, and her eyes are wobbly with tears. She's really torn up about thinking strategically. She doesn't want to abandon anyone. I smile in relief. "Don't worry, I was thinking the same thing. We have to play this game for ourselves, not anyone else. It's okay not to be nice."

She blinks away the sorrow and nods. "It's just… it was the two of us at the beginning, and he was smart to bring in to that for a while, but now… he's just… he's just…"

"Deadweight."

"Yeah." She glances at the ground.

"So… what do we do about it?" My mind immediately goes to the knife, the one piece of equipment we have between the three of us, but I push it out of my head. I know that's the logical answer, but I can't. No matter how much it might benefit us.

Calandra's face crumples for a moment, and I think she had the same thought as me. We stand in silence for a moment, both trying to come up with a way around it, and then she speaks. "We end the alliance. From now on, it's just us."

We owe Kepler nothing. We helped him with his hand, we comforted him as best we could. But now we have nothing to offer him, and he has nothing to offer us. "So, we leave?"

"We leave him. He's a good person, but you said it. We play this game for ourselves. And if we want to go home, we can't afford to make room for anyone else."

I note Calandra's use of 'we'. As far as she's concerned, we're a pair. We can both survive. I've been thinking of us the same way, honestly, but to hear it from someone else's mouth is ironic. I hear the hollowness of it. "I think we should go as soon as my 'watch' is done. Find somewhere else in the night, while no one else is moving. When he wakes up, we'll be long gone."

Calandra glances over at the sleeping boy and I follow her gaze. He really does look peaceful and calm when he's sleeping. His face has gone slack, and it makes him look a lot younger. "He doesn't look like a killer."

I squeeze her wrist gently. "He's not, really. Not like the Careers are, he was just trying to survive."

"Do you think this is the right thing to do?"

Ouch. "I don't know, but it feels like the smart thing to do. Besides, we aren't killing him," I say, trying to convince myself, "just leaving him behind. Anything that happens later is none of our faults, okay?"

Calandra looks at me again, her eyes no longer worried but sharp and determined. "What would we do if we ran into him again? Have some story about being spooked away from him in the night? Do you think this will make him our enemy?"

Could Kepler do that? I haven't seen a mean bone in his body—scared, yes, feral, yes, but mean? "No more than anyone else, I think." I hope I'm right, I really do. I don't want an enemy. I just want to put myself first.

Calandra begins to creep back to her couch. "We can work out more details on the way out if necessary," she says, "so wake me when you think it's time."

LOREN ASOU, DISTRICT FIVE FEMALE

I hiccup again and wipe the snot from my nose with the edge of my tunic. I've finally run out of tears to cry.

Seeing Neon and Everlyn's faces in the sky only made it all worse. Made it real. I saw them both fall, saw them lying on the ground, but somehow that was easy to rationalize. Maybe they were only injured, maybe they'd escape and I'd find them later…

The cannons and the pictures proved me wrong.

I'm alone.

I miss Kepler.

He lived, and so did his allies! We have a District Five agreement that still stands in case we run into each other. There's a chance I could find him, maybe, and then I wouldn't be alone, abandoned, afraid. Well, maybe still afraid. There's nothing but fear in a place like this.

And I'm so thirsty. I haven't found any food or water, and Jacks hasn't sent anything. I know it's only the first night, but I can't go for long without water. And the idea of moving around too much scares me. Who knows who or what I might run into?

I wish Neon and Everlyn were here. I feel like I can't sleep alone. There's no one to watch my back. I could wake up to someone stabbing me or worse! If I had a friend or ally, maybe I could relax a little. It wouldn't be as scary to exist in the arena.

Being alone is awful. That's where my mind keeps going, just how awful it is to be on my own. I've never really had to deal with loneliness like this. There was always someone I could follow, a new connection or even a friend. At the very least, a group I could be with. When I'm alone, there's no one to make decisions but me, and that scares me. The last time I tried to be in charge, I ended up accidentally breaking an alliance. Neon came up with all the plans for the three of us during training, and now he's gone along with all his clever ideas.

I cover my face with my hands and collapse backwards onto the little cot I'm sitting on. Twenty-four hours ago, I was eating everything I could in the tribute apartment with Kepler, Romany, and Jacks. Now I'm here, and I'm pretty sure I'm so dehydrated I'm retaining water. I haven't had to pee yet. Is that how bodies work? I don't know.

If I win, maybe I'll look it up. That makes me giggle. A list of things to learn after I escape the arena. Number one: if you're dehydrated does it mean you don't pee as much?

The more I think about it, the more it makes me laugh. Is there a toilet in the arena? Who knows! What if there's only one?

The idea of all the tributes lining up neatly to use the bathroom makes me start laughing in earnest, and the sound of my laughter bouncing off the walls only makes it funnier.

The door to the room creaks open and I shut my mouth, but it's too late. A boy peers in, slowly entering the room. I leap to my feet, unsure what to do. What can I do? I have no supplies or weapons. I raise my hands to ward off any attack.

But he doesn't do anything aside from step fully into the room and close the door behind him. "Um… are you all right?" he asks.

In the torchlight I can identify him as Sharif, from Eight.

His question finally registers in my brain. "Did you just ask if I'm all right?"

"…Yes?"

"Uh… I don't think so? In the big sense?"

"Do you mind if I ask why you were laughing?"

"You're not going to hurt me?"

"I don't plan on it, no."

"I was laughing because I was thinking about all the tributes lining up to take turns using a bathroom."

He smiles. "You know what, fair enough. It was a little loud, though. I was next door. I wasn't going to explore at first but, you know, it felt pretty good to hear genuine laughter."

I let myself relax a little bit and stand at ease. "I think that's the most I've heard you say at once."

He shrugs. "We're living in odd times. I wouldn't have expected myself to seek out another tribute, but here I am."

"You're alone, right? I saw you run away from the bloodbath."

"Yeah. No supplies, no allies, no nothing."

I glance at the ground before replying "Same."

Sharif grimaces. "Sorry about your allies. I saw." I nod, but I no longer have the energy to talk more about Neon and Everlyn. "It's okay. I get it, you don't have to say anything. I'm not really the comforting type, anyway."

"Thanks." I scuff the toe of my boot on the ground and try not to think about how much I've cried.

We stand in a tense, silent face-off for a few moments. "I guess I'll just… go? Leave you to your laughter?" Sharif turns to leave.

"Wait!" I blurt out. He looks at me quizzically. "You don't… you don't have to go."

"I'm not interested in being your ally, if that's what you're suggesting. Just because I saw you once doesn't mean it's a good idea to stick together."

I frown and cross my arms. "That's not what I meant, actually. I was just thinking that there's a lot of cots in this room. You could sleep here too if you wanted."

Sharif looks around the room, with small wooden beds in neat rows along the walls. "These do look more comfortable than the floor."

"We could part ways first thing in the morning, and there wouldn't be any hassle!"

"I think I'd just leave you to your room, and I'll find somewhere else."

"Sharif, please." I think the desperation in my voice catches him off guard, because he gives me a strange, worried look. "I can't hurt you. Please. I just don't want to be left alone."

At that moment, there's a thump against the window. We both jump, and I rush over. A parachute dangles from a nail placed just above the opening, and I hurriedly pull it inside. A small wicker basket is attached, and inside there's two bottles of water and two packs of dried fruit and nuts.

"Please. Call this a sign for you to stay. There's two of everything, we can split it." I offer him one of the waters, almost begging.

He slowly reaches out to accept it. "A truce for the night?"

"Truce."

ANDROS VALIER, DISTRICT ONE MALE

In the crisp night air, I have far too much time to think. There are no distractions. I'm the only one awake, posted outside the gatehouse door as all the others sleep. An easy gig- stand watch for a few hours a night. Watching for what? Nothing, probably, unless the Gamemakers decide to spring a trap. None of the other tributes are likely to make an appearance.

I wasn't trained for this. This… waiting. I was trained for combat, for strategy, for action. To win by whatever means necessary.

There is no action now. I suppose I could go into the gatehouse and murder all my allies. That would certainly put the odds in my favor. Pfft. As if they aren't already.

But I'm no bastard. It's not in good form to betray like that, especially not so soon. In training, they make it plenty clear that the Games are as much about entertainment as they are about survival. Hunt and kill all the tributes on the first day? The Capitol will resent you forever.

Anyway, I've already made one significant kill. Syko's death brought me simultaneous relief and concern; relieved that his death didn't bring me any mental anguish… and concern for the same situation.

I don't feel a damn thing for the kid I killed. It makes my life easier, but it's an advantage I wish I didn't have. Fuck me, I guess.

I hope Ishan never asks me about it. I don't want to tell her this, and I don't want to have to lie to her. You're supposed to feel some kind of bad for killing people. At least a little bit of remorse or pity. It's supposed to be a noble survival thing, even when you've trained meticulously for it. It's supposed to be 'oh, I had to do it but I didn't want to' or 'I won, and it affected me more than I ever expected'.

Do others feel this way? Are other Victors faking their shame? What does Caelle feel towards the kids she offed? Cyrus has been mopey all day and Shelby told me outright that she couldn't force herself to land a killing blow, so that tells me all I need to know about the two weak links. No offense.

Eliana's a different story entirely. At least I'm not like that. There's worse ways to be than 'unaffected'.

With that surety in my mind, I poke the cracks between the stones of the wall with my knife, trying to wedge the blade in the gaps. There's nothing fucking else to do.

Eventually, I sigh. There seems to be no way to properly tell time in this arena, and I'm no astronomer so I can't exactly use the stars. It feels like at least an hour or two, though. Enough time has passed for me to wake the next lookout, Caelle.

I open the door just enough to slip inside and make my way to Caelle's bedside. She claimed one of the beds instead of the sleeping rolls, and no one challenged her. I nudge her awake until she sits up blearily with a low groan. "What do you want?" she hisses.

"Your watch."

As she recognizes me, she seems to transform. Half-asleep is the most vulnerable I think I've ever seen her, but within a matter of seconds she blinks the drowsiness from her eyes and the hawkish glint returns. She swings out of bed and grabs her swords, marching outside.

At the door she turns to look at me, then beckons for me to follow her.

Great. Another private meeting. I was actually looking forward to going back to sleep. Nonetheless, I follow her lead all the way to the central stone. "Yes?"

She yawns, and the leader vanishes for another second, replaced with a sleepy teenage girl. "I just wanted to check in with you."

"About anything in particular?"

"I don't know. I trust your judgment and I think we're more on the same page about… everything happening around here… than anyone else. What did you think of today, I guess? I'm tired. Brainstorm with me or something."

I nod, smirking. The same page. Yeah, that's one way to put it. I wonder if she has any regrets about her actions. "It was fine."

"Andros, I may be half awake, but I can call bullshit when I smell it." She punctuates with another yawn.

I can respect someone who wants the straightforward truth. She's feeling confident even in the middle of the night, too. I suppose two—no, three, counting Timo—kills would do that for her. It dawns on me that she's killed a third of the dead so far. Formidable. I knew she was good, but that's still impressive. She could well be a larger threat than I anticipated. "I think our alliance is the strongest the trained tributes have ever been, even with the death of Shark."

"Shark was never really one of us and we both know that."

"I'm not disagreeing. Anyway, we knocked out the vast majority of threats. This could be a quick Games if we keep going at this pace."

"Which would leave our alliance standing. Tell me, what's your assessment of the others?"

"Don't we tend to keep those thoughts private? Are you sure you want to know what I think of you?"

All the grogginess is gone from Caelle by now, and she giggles a little. "I'll tell you what I think of you, if it helps."

"Please do."

"I think you and I are going to fight to the death at the end of this. I think we're evenly matched to a terrifying degree."

I raise my eyebrows. "I don't know if I should thank you or start watching my back at night."

"Might as well thank me. I want you on my side for as long as possible, and I think we both see the sense in that. I think we're as loyal as tactical minds can be."

She's clever. Letting me know I don't have to side-eye her, while also reminding me that I have a vested interest in her survival, for now. "Mmm. Thanks, then."

"Your turn. None of that strong and silent stuff when it's just us."

I scoff. "Fine. Same for you. Massive threat." But I could break her like a twig if it comes down to hand-to-hand combat. "Out of all the living bodies in this arena, I come closest to trusting you." Which isn't much, but this feels like an agreement between the two of us. To guarantee we, the two strongest players, won't target each other until the wild cards are gone, is a powerful assurance of safety.

"And the others?"

"Cyrus isn't handling it well. Might need a day off, tossing spears around this courtyard or something, to get accustomed to the arena. Shelby's weak, as we both already knew."

Caelle snorts. "Right. How was your little date while we were hunting?"

"She talked at me while I rested my leg. Honestly, she can really wrap a bandage, I can barely feel the cut anymore, but she hasn't got the stomach for the arena. Ditzy, shallow, probably won't last much longer."

"You can say she's sacrificial lamb material, that's okay. If we need a meat shield while we're hunting, she'd be a great candidate." We both chuckle a little at that. "And your district partner?" Caelle continues. I grimace before I can stop myself, and she notices even in the darkness. "You saw her little act at the bloodbath, too, then?"

"Unfortunately. And she was a little too proud to claim it."

"I was hoping to talk to you about her, actually. When we cornered Timo, she was teasing him, trying to provoke him or scare him or something. We all have our share of triumphant moments and what not, but he was like a caged dog. It was kind of tasteless."

"Tasteless. I can see it." Gloating over causing pain. Yes, that sounds like the Eliana Schaefer I'm familiar with.

"You two trained at the same center, right? What's really going on here, Andros? I know there's something you haven't said. I remember you almost told me something during training."

Ah. There it is. "I think I called her fucked in the head, yes?"

"Yeah. Why? I mean, I can tell from what she did to Mary Sue, but what's behind that?"

"To put it bluntly, she beat her girlfriend to a pulp."

Caelle rocks forward, grabbing me by the shoulders with a gasp. "Holy shit, are you serious? What the hell? You can't leave it at that!"

For her it's gossip, but for me it's deeper: a reveal of the disgust I have for my district partner. "She had been with this girl Adrienne for a while and was always a bit controlling. I'd see them at training a lot. Adrienne was sweet, but Eliana wouldn't really say much—barely acknowledge their relationship at all, honestly."

"She went from that to beating her up?"

"Well, over time she got stranger, like critiquing Adrienne all the time and making rude jokes. The trainers got on her for being weird and also for other stuff, like being late a lot. I think she had outside stuff happening, I'm not sure. Anyway, one day last year she just exploded, I guess. She and Adrienne both vanished and a few days later Adrienne's brother told me that his sister was in the hospital, basically comatose."

"That's crazy. What happened between them?"

"I don't know. I just heard that she snapped. There were a lot of rumors in the center, but Adrienne's brother only ever said that yeah, it was Eliana's fault, and that it happened in the center."

"And she still trained? How'd she get picked to volunteer?"

"I'm still asking the same questions, to be honest. It took a couple weeks for her to show her face again, and for some reason Silve let her stay. Probably because of the money, to be honest. I was so disgusted the day she came back for the first time. Everybody kind of avoided her after that, but she ended up training basically non-stop for the whole year."

"Wow. What happened to Adrienne?"

"She's fine now, I guess. I've heard her make a couple remarks about how she's glad she at least fought back. Not really my business, though, so I never pursued all the details."

Caelle runs her hands through her hair and looks up at the sky, puffing up her cheeks with air and blowing it out in stunned silence.

"So yeah. Eliana's little show during the bloodbath is par for the course."

"That's awful."

"You're telling me. I can kill people left and right, but hurt someone I'm supposed to care about? No."

That gets a dry laugh out of Caelle. "I think that makes it quite clear that she's our largest threat."

"Whatever's coming to her, she deserves it."

GARETH ABRELL, DISTRICT TWELVE MALE

Don't tell anyone I let you go.

That's what he said when he knocked me to the ground as I fled up the stairs. I thought I had been following Timo, but no. He went a different direction and I missed him.

My mistake may have saved my life, but the guilt weighs heavy.

Don't tell anyone I let you go.

I knew someone had been chasing me, but I was so scared to look back. And then I did, and then I tripped on the spiral staircase and collapsed. Cyrus had caught up to me and stood over me, readying his mace. I thought I was gonna die. I'd never felt my heart beat that fast.

And then he dropped his weapon and stepped away from me, and offered his hand out to help me stand.

And when I refused it and stood up on my own, confused, that's all he said before turning and walking back down the stairs. "Don't tell anyone I let you go."

Why did he let me go? Why do I get to live and Timo's cannon rang out not seconds later? I saw his face last evening. I know he's gone.

I hate it. Why am I more deserving? He was smarter, stronger, more determined. And yet I'm the one who gets a second chance and he's the one who's dead. Not 'gone', not 'passed', not 'fallen'. Dead. Murdered.

Do I owe Cyrus now for letting me live? I just can't wrap my head around it. Why'd he let me go? Offer me his hand? Was it some weird kind of test? Indebting me to him in case we see each other again later? I hope not. He's a Career. He chose to come here and to kill. I don't know why he wouldn't, when it would have been so easy.

I blink hard, trying to summon more tears, but I can't manage it. My eyes feel dry and they still sting from the crying I've already done.

It must be getting close to morning at this point. I haven't been able to close my eyes. Every time I try to go to sleep, I imagine someone opening the door and hunting me down again. I imagine what Timo's face might have looked like when he realized I wasn't with him any longer. I see the Careers chasing me. I see Shark looming over me.

He died today, too. One small victory. I hate myself for thinking that way, but I keep telling myself it's for survival. I'm not gloating, it's just one step closer to going home.

I prop my chin up on the windowsill, looking out at the sky and stars. The moon is huge and almost full, and I allow myself a moment to be thankful for it. It's good the arena isn't totally indoors, shut away from the sky.

The breeze on my face is cool, and I close my eyes for a moment. Gone is the fleeting sense of acceptance I felt in the Capitol. Gone is the connection to home I felt with Mary Sue. Gone is the closest thing I had to a friend.

It's all replaced with a feeling of festering rot that starts low in my gut and eats me from the inside out. It's anger. It's more anger than I've ever felt before, and I don't know the first thing to do with it.

I've been upset for so long. So tired, so desperate to feel normal. But this is completely different.

I've lost everything. I have nothing except myself, and I'm surrounded by people trying to destroy me. People I might have tried to befriend, in a different time.

I hate it all. I fucking hate it.

I hate the Careers for killing Timo and probably Mary Sue.

I hate Cyrus for causing me all this confusion.

I hate the Capitol for putting me here.

I hate the stone walls and torches that are too bright for me to fall asleep.

I hate standing out. I hate not knowing if anyone cares about me. I hate being ashamed.

I hate Shark Mason and I'm fucking glad he's dead. I am!

I hate Mary Sue for getting more attention in the Capitol than me.

I hate Timo for dying and leaving me alone.

I hate myself for being so angry.

I hate the sky for having the audacity to not change even though everything else in my life has.

The breeze on my face is still crisp, and I take a deep breath, letting it cool the dizzy heat in my mind.

What am I thinking? Do I really feel all those things?

I don't know anymore. I'm just so tired. I just want to be able to lie down and rest for a bit, instead of my heart pumping adrenaline through my system continuously.

I miss Timo. I don't really hate him, how could I hate him? It's not his fault he left me alone.

I'm scared, that's all. Just scared.

No deaths, you're welcome! Can't promise that'll happen very often. As you can see, we're on the third arena chapter and it's only the first night so things are moving right along! Now that we've at least seen what every tribute is up to in the arena, anything can happen.

Starting to flesh out the arena a little more! I'm enjoying the labyrinthine aspect of it for the moment, but once I introduce the majority of locations I might post a little map on the blog to give a better idea of the castle layout.

Questions:

Who do you think is most at risk? Who's safe?

What's your favorite scent? (Mine's lavender, like any stereotypical lesbian! I harvest lavender from the garden and dry it in my room.)

Drop a review and let me know!

Take care of yourselves out there.