Chapter 5 – Shattered
Author's Note: And ROTS beings! For those of you who are unhappy by what happens in this chapter, this is a dark fic remember? And it's not a fix-it. :)
To hiep16: I hope you enjoy! :D
~ Amina Gila
There's nothing quite as calming as the quiet sound of running water. It's something he learned years ago. Maybe because he grew up on Tatooine, a place with none, he doesn't know. Anakin seats himself on the end of a couch in the veranda, struggling to regain some semblance of calm.
He can't find it.
Even as he tries, all he feels in the Force is the steadily rising darkness, the lingering depression and death that he's felt so much since the start of the Clone Wars.
His mind replays the nightmare, the vision, over and over. Padme could die. She's – Force, he hasn't had a dream this vivid since his mother died. It was the same.
She could die. No matter how hard he tries to focus on something else, it's all his mind seems willing to circle back to. Force, he can't sit here and do nothing. He did that with his mother, and... Padme can't die. She can't. The crushing sense of heaviness settles over him, smothering him.
Anakin senses her quiet approach – she must have woken up when he got out of bed – but he doesn't look at her. She's here, she's alright, but for how long? How long will it be this way, and how long before she's gone, too?
"What's bothering you?" Padme asks softly.
"Nothing," he replies immediately, instinctively pulling up his calm façade. Logically, he knows it's alright and that he ought to talk to her, that he can talk to her, but after years and years of being forced to constantly bury his feelings and being told it doesn't really matter, it's hard. He doesn't want to talk about it, about himself because it doesn't matter, and it will make the situation more real. He turns to her, finally, searching for something to distract himself with. His eyes immediately land on the japor snippet she's wearing. "I remember when I gave this to you."
"Anakin, how long is it going to take for us to be honest with each other?" She's not going to stand for him dodging topics. Not today, anyway.
Anakin looks away again, unable to meet her gaze. "It was a dream."
"Bad?"
"Like the ones I used to have about my mother just before she died." He doesn't want to talk about this.
"And?" Padme prompts.
Anakin looks at her again, finally, forcing himself to meet her gaze for a moment before looking away. "It was about you."
"Tell me," she requests.
"It was only a dream." Anakin tries to brush it off again and stands, pacing a few steps away. He can feel Padme's unwavering gaze on him; she won't let this go. Anakin takes a moment as he struggles to gather himself. It's... hard to tell her this. It was only a dream, he tries to convince himself, desperately, because he can't face the possibility of Padme dying. "You die in childbirth," Anakin continues, turning around. He's proud at how steady he manages to keep his voice, even despite his raging emotions.
He senses a flair of concern in her through the Force, but it remains mostly hidden on her face. "And the baby?"
He doesn't want to think about it. He hasn't even let his mind wonder that far, because the knowledge that Padme is in danger is already too much for him to handle, but their child... "I don't know."
"It was only a dream," she promises, walking over to him. It's not true. He knows it's not, but it's still what he needed to hear. Her closeness grounds him, if only for the moment. How long? How long will she be here? How long will it be before she's gone, too?
"I won't let this become real, Padme." He won't let her die. He – he has to do something to help her – and their child. He has no idea what, but... there must be something he can do. He needs to know what.
"Anakin, this baby will change our lives," Padme asserts, and while she's bringing up another worry, he's glad she's giving him something else to focus on and keeping him in the present. Even if their child's birth is... just as imminent. "I doubt the Queen will continue to allow me to serve in the Senate, and if the Council discovers you are the father, you will be expelled from the Jedi Order."
"I know." He's thought it through; he's worried for it, but regardless of what happens, he's determined to give their child the best life possible, whatever it takes. That won't be if he's still a Jedi. He – he needs to leave the Order. Force, he wants to leave so badly and never look back, but it's selfish because he won't be able to help people anymore. More importantly, he needs to wait until the war is over. Otherwise, he'd have left immediately after – after Hardeen.
Dooku is dead – Anakin killed him aboard the Invisible Hand, and he's admittedly proud of his success – and the last main issue to deal with is that of Grievous. With Dooku gone, it shouldn't be too hard to track down the cyborg. And... with any luck, that will be done before his child is born, so Anakin will be able to leave. He'd much rather go willingly than be expelled. But... at the end of the day, none of it will matter if Padme dies. Or if...
"Anakin, do you think Obi-Wan might be able to help us?" Padme asks seriously.
"With what?" Anakin demands, and he can't help his surge of anger, even if he tries to hide it. Padme knows how he feels about Obi-Wan. "I couldn't go to him even if I needed him! He'd turn me over to the Council." He doesn't even bother trying to conceal the bitterness in his voice.
"He must suspect something, already," she points out. "He's your master, your best friend."
Memories from Orondia, of Hardeen flash through his mind, and he ruthlessly forces them aside. "He's like my father," Anakin replies steadily, "But he's on the Council. You know I can't trust him." Don't ask me to do this, he begs silently, because he can't. Obi-Wan will turn him over to the Council, and – and he wants to leave of his own accord. Most of all, he doesn't – can't face his former master's disappointment. "Our baby is a blessing, not a problem."
Whatever happens, that's the one truth he accepts.
**w**
Anakin finds himself in Palpatine's office the next day, where the Chancellor informs him that apparently the Council will now be directly reporting to him instead of the Senate in the hopes of bringing a faster end to the war.
Palpatine finally turns to face him in a way that implies whatever he's about to say is very important. "Anakin, I've known you since you were young, and I have advised you over the years whenever I could. I am very proud of your accomplishments. You have won many battles the Jedi Council thought were lost. You defeated Count Dooku only yesterday, and you saved my life. Defeating a Sith Lord like him is something none of the other Jedi have been able to do. Your brilliance in dealing with the Invisible Hand has truly made you worthy of the title of a Jedi Master." He pauses a moment before continuing. "I hope you trust me, Anakin."
"Of course," Anakin replies immediately. He's hardly sure how else to react to the praise. The battle was... hard, but with the 501st there, they successfully managed to destroy the ship while it was still in space. Grievous likely survived in the escape pods, but Anakin was able to get out with Obi-Wan and Palpatine back to the surface safely.
He doesn't have the time to consider it any longer, though, as Palpatine goes on to tell him that he doesn't trust the Jedi, and that apparently, he's going to be appointed to the Council, because Palpatine wants him to keep an eye on what they're up to.
He wants to believe that everything the Council is doing is for the good of the Republic, but from what he's actually seen, he can't believe that with certainty. They're acting increasingly distrustful of Palpatine and even the Senate in general, and if anything, it's making the war even more difficult to win. He'll do whatever he can to help Palpatine end the war.
**w**
Anakin isn't entirely certain what to feel as he stands before the Council. Never, never has he expected to reach this point, and he fears it will make it even harder for him to leave. The one good thing that will come of it, is his ability to make the Council actually work with the Chancellor in bringing a fast end to the war. After that... he'll handle it then.
"Allow this appointment lightly, the Council does not," Yoda speaks, "Disturbing is this move by Chancellor Palpatine."
"I understand," Anakin replies, carefully keeping his frustration in check. He knows the Council doesn't trust Palpatine, or respect him even, and it frustrates him to no end. That doesn't mean it's his place to say so, whether he's on the Council or not.
"You are on this Council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master," Master Windu adds coldly.
They – what? That doesn't... "What?!" Anakin hisses. His gaze whips towards Obi-Wan, silently demanding answers and for his former master to object to this, but all Obi-Wan does is pointedly look away. It makes it quite clear that he's not even going to argue, and it doesn't make sense, because what? Palpatine himself said Anakin was well ready to become a master after what happened with the Invisible Hand. Not that Anakin cares, especially now, but this is yet another blatant example discrimination by the Council. They would never, never dream of doing this to anyone else, and he doesn't understand why.
"How can you do this?!" he demands sharply. "This is outrageous. It's unfair. How can you be on the Council and not be a Master?!"
Yoda and Windu exchange glances in the background. "Take a seat, young Skywalker," Windu tells him coldly, motioning to the only empty chair in the room. It's another pointed reminder that they know what they're doing, and they don't care. It doesn't matter to them, because for some inexplicable reason, Anakin is... different, and it means he doesn't get the same treatment or even basic courtesies granted to others.
It doesn't matter. It never does. Anakin bows, mumbling a quiet "forgive me, Masters," before shuffling to his seat. He feels Obi-Wan's displeasure and disappointment acutely in the Force, and it's like a knife in the gut because all he wants is – is to be enough. Force knows how hard he tries, but it's never enough to satisfy anyone. He didn't mean to lose composure in front of the Council, it just... happened. Like every other time he's lashed out.
Anakin's hit by the sudden inexplicable urge to cry but stubbornly holds his composure. Somehow, no matter what he does, it's never anything good. It's expected and necessary and required of him. It's not like that for everyone else, so why? And why the blatant discrimination? He defeated a Sith, which was said to be his destiny and purpose, and they didn't even give him the common courtesy of thanking him, because it's... expected of him. Required. Necessary. It doesn't matter to them.
He's not worth their time, not like everyone else is, apparently.
The meeting drags on for ages, and even as he tries – he really does – to focus on something other than what happened, it doesn't work well. All he can think of is how incredibly small and out of place he feels being in this room full of Jedi Masters, the same ones who so often chastened him when he was young and even now.
A dark part of his mind wonders if they're intentionally trying to rub in how lesser and insignificant they view him as.
By the time the meeting his finally over, his simmering anger has turned to an outright boil that feels like it's about to explode though he stubbornly reigns it. It's late afternoon, and he feels like he could probably sleep for the next week if he could get off some of this pent-up energy, but his visions won't let that happen. Assuming they start repeating themselves, anyway.
Anakin rounds on Obi-Wan the moment their alone and out of earshot of the rest of the Council. He should keep quiet about this, like he does everything else, but he... can't. "How can you do this?" he demands furiously. "How can you put me on the Council and not make me a Master? That's never been done in the history of the Jedi. It's insulting!"
"Calm down, Anakin," Obi-Wan replies sharply, and Anakin almost flinches. What does he think he's been trying to do all this time?! "You have been given a great honor. To be on the Council at your age... it's never happened before." Yeah, not like he cares. He hates how every time Obi-Wan starts talking, all he ever seems to do is make Anakin even more confused and lost. Obi-Wan stops walking, turning to face him. "Listen to me, Anakin. The fact of the matter is you're too close with the Chancellor."
Anakin glares at him. "You know the Council wants me to spend time with him. It's... convenient."
"The Council doesn't like it when he interferes in Jedi affairs."
"I swear to you, I didn't ask to be put on the Council!" Anakin snaps back. He doesn't care for it, never has, though he is grateful it'll give him a little more influence in ending the war.
"But it's what you wanted! Your friendship with Chancellor Palpatine seems to have paid off." His former master turns away, walking farther down the hall. Anakin follows him.
"That has nothing to do with it," Anakin argues sullenly. It doesn't, right? It... Force, he doesn't even know anything anymore. His mind is running in circles, and he's fairly certain Obi-Wan went completely off-topic instead of explaining exactly why the Council thinks treating him like this is necessary.
"I warned you there was tension between the Council and the Chancellor. I was very clear. Why didn't you listen? You walked right into it."
In all the – "'Walked right into it'?" Anakin repeats. He's hit by the sudden, completely inappropriate urge to laugh. Maybe he is going crazy. "What? Something the Council set up for me? What do you want from me? What aren't you telling me?" What are you leaving me out of this time? "Or is the Council just upset I'm the youngest to ever serve?" Or is it that I'm this – this cursed thing called the Chosen One that you like to throw at me every time I do something you don't like?
"No, it's not," Obi-Wan denies frustratedly. "Anakin, I worry when you speak of jealousy and pride. Those are not Jedi thoughts. They're dangerous, dark thoughts."
Again. Somehow, no matter what he does or doesn't do, all he is, is a disappointment. And this, this is why he can't even have a proper, civil conversation with Obi-Wan, because he's only ever admonished for his words. "Master, you of all people should have faith in my abilities. I know where my loyalties lie." He... doesn't, actually. They're with his family as they always have been, but... there's only so much longer he can actually, actively, truthfully consider Obi-Wan part of that, and it hurts. "There's more to this than you're saying. What is it?"
"Anakin, the only reason the Council has approved your appointment is because the Chancellor trusts you."
"And?" he demands, suddenly intensely wary. What now? What more?
"Anakin, look, I'm on your side. I didn't want you put in this situation."
"What situation?" Anakin comes to a sharp stop, staring straight at the other. A cold sense of dread steadily pools inside him.
Obi-Wan looks at the floor, taking a moment to recollect himself. "The Council wants you to report on all of the Chancellor's dealings. They want to know what he's up to."
For a moment, he can't move. Can't breathe. Can't process the implications of this. Obi-Wan walks to the window, where dark storm clouds are slowly beginning to obstruct the sun. Anakin numbly follows. "They want me to spy on the Chancellor? That's treason!" Anakin exclaims incredulously. He knew there were problems between the Chancellor and the Council, but this far exceeds expectations. Treason? They're asking him to commit treason?!
"We are at war, Anakin. The Jedi Council is sworn to uphold the principles of the Republic, even if the Chancellor does not."
Anakin has to resist the urge to growl at him for suggesting the Chancellor might not be faithful to the Republic, but they've been over that argument too many times for it to be fruitful. Besides, Obi-Wan's already made it abundantly clear that he's through with listening to Anakin for the day. He needs to take the time to process this later. Right now... "Why didn't the Council give me this assignment when we were in session?" he asks suspiciously, meeting the other's gaze. He can take the time to sort his own mind out later once he gets to the bottom of this.
"The assignment is not to be on record. The Council asked me to approach you on this personally."
Not on record... Anakin's senses immediately tell him that something dark is afoot, a dark whispering in the back of his mind that the Council is up to something bad, and he needs to figure out what and... Treason. The Jedi Council, no less, is asking Anakin to commit treason, to betray the person he's looked to as a teacher and mentor and almost father. The penalty for treason is death, and they're only asking him to do it. It's not on record, which automatically shields the Council from taking any blame. What are they up to? What else is going on here that they won't tell him?
He banishes the thought as soon as it comes, or at least he tries to. The Jedi only do what's best, what they have to for the greater good.
Instead of demanding answers – Obi-Wan is the last person who'd give him any useful information – Anakin turns to the other topic bothering him. "The Chancellor is not a bad man. He befriended me. He's watched out for me ever since I arrived here."
"That is why you must help us, Anakin," Obi-Wan insists. Why? He has to be the one to do this because he's so close with Palpatine? The Council can use their friendship like they always have, except now in the worst form of betrayal possible? He thinks of how much it hurt when he realized Obi-Wan did the same to him.
"Our allegiance is to the Senate, not to its leader who has managed to stay in office long after his term has expired," Obi-Wan continues.
"Master, the Senate demanded that he stay longer," Anakin protests.
"Yes, but use your feelings, Anakin. Something is out of place."
Yes, a lot more than something. He turns away, unable to face Obi-Wan anymore. "You're asking me to do something against the Jedi Code," Anakin replies bitterly. "Against the Republic. Against a mentor... and a friend. That's what's out of place here. Why are you asking this of me?" He wants to scream. He wants to rage, but he can't, because that's unbefitting of a Jedi. So, he does the same thing he always does. He holds it in, buries it deep inside.
It feels like something's breaking, like it's falling. Like it's crumbling, down down down into a pit of never-ending darkness.
**w**
It's... hard to be here with Palpatine when all he can remember is what the Council asked of him, not to mention what Padme of all people did right after that. He's tired of people trying to use him. It feels as though he's only here for other people's convenience, and he hates it. He loathes it more than anything, because it reminds him of – of things in his past that he thought were going to forever remain there.
He also hates how he still feels obligated to defend the Jedi, even now. He doesn't even know what to think of them if he's being honest. They try, but – but Palpatine is right. They don't always make the right choices.
"If they haven't included you in their plot, they soon will," the Chancellor tells him once they're alone.
"I'm not sure I understand," Anakin objects with a frown. What is he talking about? Yes, Anakin had been thinking something similar for a few moments earlier, but he banished the thought instantly because it was so insane.
"You must sense what I have come to suspect. The Jedi Council want control of the Republic. They're planning to betray me."
Anakin's first instinct is denial. The Jedi might – they might be willing to go to insane lengths to end the war and restore peace, maybe, but they would never do something this drastic, would they?
"Anakin, search your feelings," Palpatine adds as his mind whirls, grappling with the crippling implications of this. "You know, don't you?"
Why would they do that? "I know they don't trust you," Anakin admits. He's known as much for a long time, and it's always upset him. And, he has to admit, that with what they told him to do, there is a chance, albeit a small and unlikely one, that the Jedi might be up to something. He – he doesn't want to believe it because it's too unsettling. They're practically committing treason already, and most importantly, Anakin knows that if something was going on, they'd never tell him.
"Or the Senate, or the Republic, or democracy, for that matter."
"I have to admit my trust in them has been shaken," Anakin blurts out without even meaning to. He shouldn't have mentioned it again. He did, briefly, after the Hardeen debacle, but...
"Why? They asked you to do something that made you feel dishonest, didn't they?" Force, how, how does the Chancellor seem to catch onto these things so easily? Anakin looks away. He wants to answer, but he can't. He can't tell Palpatine that the Jedi betrayed... both of them. "They asked you to spy on me, didn't they?"
He should deny it. He should, but he can't because that would be a lie, and this is his friend. He can't outright sell out the Council for it, either. "I don't know what to say," Anakin mumbles at last.
He feels lost, confused, and he hates it. He's torn between the Jedi who betrayed him, who he spent his life working for, and – and the Republic and his own principles. Those lines of right and wrong are blurred together. He doesn't know what to do. He hardly even knows what's what anymore.
At the end of the day, it's really a choice between his... mentors. They're both his father figures in a way, and he cares for them both dearly, and he's torn.
Everything he ever thought and known is being laid out in question before his eyes, and he has no idea what to do. It doesn't help when Palpatine basically points out the Jedi are hardly better than the Sith. He's exhausted, and this conversation is messing with his head. It's hard to think clearly right now because Anakin agrees with him. At least, a part of him does. He's – he's felt the Dark Side before, and it didn't feel like the Jedi always make it out to be. It wasn't evil.
When Palpatine tells him the legend of Plagueis, Anakin can't help but think he might have found an answer to one of his problems, at least. If – if he needs to find a Sith to save Padme and his child, he's willing to do it. Even if it means losing himself, he doesn't care. He refuses to sit back and let them die like his mother did. He won't fail his family again.
**w**
Anakin stands alone on the landing platform, watching as Obi-Wan's cruiser takes off, heading for Utapau. His mind is still spinning from the last few days. Anakin hopes – really, he does – that the tension between himself and his former master has been resolved, but he doubts it. Too much as gone down, and... despite everything Obi-Wan told him, Anakin finds that he can't believe a word.
After his conversation with Palpatine the previous night, Anakin felt duty-bound to apologize, because he wasn't in his right mind. He was – he was thinking and wanting things he shouldn't. He's not... he's young and inexperienced and doesn't know better than the Council, but as he's slowly beginning to realize, they won't do anything to help him. They'll only make demands and take more and more from him, until he can't handle it. He needs to leave, to go. He wants to. Once the war is officially ended, he'll walk away and never look back.
Obi-Wan's words replay over and over in his mind, and maybe Anakin is over-thinking it, but... but what was it about, really? Obi-Wan's lied to him and used him before, and then demands the same dishonesty and fake from Anakin. So, how can Anakin believe what Obi-Wan was telling him? Was it genuine, or was it... something more? Another attempt to make Anakin trust him, before asking something else from him?
Are the Jedi going to demand something else from him? Was – was Palpatine right? Are the Jedi planning something, something they're intending to drag him in on? What could it even be? A part of him doesn't even want to know the answer to that, especially if it's really what he's afraid of. Anakin knows the Jedi don't want Palpatine in control anymore, but – but they couldn't remove him from office, could they?
He's completely torn, and he hates how lost he feels. Worst of all, Anakin doesn't even have anyone to turn to for help. Rex might be here for now, but Anakin can hardly turn to him for help. It's not as though Rex would have anything to offer other than moral support, and Anakin won't be getting anyone else involved in this treasonous mess. If someone gets executed for it, he'd much rather it only be himself.
Anakin struggles to push everything else from mind and focuses on the current situation: Obi-Wan going to fight Grievous. He could die. This could be the last time Anakin saw him, and he hates how he feels like it might be. When the report comes through that Obi-Wan has successfully found Grievous, Anakin is immediately sent to tell Palpatine.
Their conversation started out normal, but that quickly changes. Palpatine is – he's a Force-user. With everything going on, Anakin thought nothing could possibly get more chaotic or impossible. How? How could this even be... real?
There's something so incredibly coaxing about the way he offers to train Anakin that it scares him.
"I won't be a pawn in your political game," Anakin snaps back, ignoring the part of him that instantly screams in the affirmative. He's tired of people using him, of wanting him for his power. "The Jedi are my family!"
"Are they?" he asks. Not denying, just genuinely curious. "Did you not once tell me that a family always remains loyal to itself?"
"It –" His arguments die before he can voice them. It's true. He did, and... the Jedi have never done that for him.
"Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi. Learn to know the Dark Side of the Force, Anakin, and you will be able to save your wife from certain death."
How does he even know about Anakin's visions? He never told anyone, but – The conversation about Plagueis comes rushing back to him and he whips out his lightsaber as a horrified realization dawns on him. "You're a Sith Lord!" he accuses angrily.
"I know what has been troubling you. Listen to me. Don't continue to be a pawn of the Jedi Council. Ever since I've known you, you've been searching for a life greater than that of an ordinary Jedi. A life of significance, of conscience."
"You're wrong!" Anakin denies fiercely, but a small part of his mind whispers, is he? Is he wrong? No, he's not. It's the truth. He simply has never been able to fit in with the rest of the Jedi because he's too... different. His ideals don't align with theirs. He doesn't – he can't stay there, anymore. He wants a family, a real family. He doesn't want to be another tool to be used by the Council.
"Are you going to kill me?" Palpatine asks.
"I would certainly like to!" His instincts – or rather, everything the Jedi have taught him – are screaming at him to, except, he can't. This is a deep-running betrayal because it means the Sith – Sidious – was his friend. It – it doesn't even make sense. Even this angry, he's not stupid enough to kill the Chancellor with absolutely zero evidence, though he makes the firm promise to do so as soon as he has a chance. He can't. He'd never be able to.
"I know you would," Palpatine replies, and it grates on Anakin how completely unconcerned he seems. "I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger."
Anakin can feel him, vaguely, for the first time. Traces of the Dark Side, what he's only felt around Dooku. Finally, Anakin looks away and flicks off his lightsaber. He doesn't know what to do, and this isn't a decision he has to make, anyway. "I'm going to turn you over to the Jedi Council."
"Of course, you should, but you're not sure of their intentions, are you? What if I am right and they are plotting to take over the Republic?"
He won't sit back and let them, that's what. "I will quickly discover to the truth to all of this," he snaps. He doesn't really know what to believe. Facts say one thing, and... he doesn't want to believe everything the facts are telling him.
"You have great wisdom, Anakin. Know the power of the Dark Side. The power to save Padme."
Anakin watches him for a moment before stalking out the door. He doesn't – he's lost. He feels like he's floating without an anchor or something to pull him back. He's alone. It's the largest burden of being the Chosen One, after all.
Having literally no idea what else to do, Anakin heads to find Master Windu first and hastily relates the occurrences to him. Instead of being allowed to come, to defeat the Sith once and for all like he's supposed to, the Jedi Master tells him to go wait in the Council chambers.
The sun is slowly settling while Anakin sits alone, his mind running over all possible scenarios. Something is... wrong with Obi-Wan, but he doesn't take the time to dwell on it. His former master's presence is still pulsing in the back of his mind, and bright and strong as ever, so he won't worry. Obi-Wan is hardly his most pressing concern right now. He'll be fine. Will he?
His wife and child are.
As are the intentions of the Jedi, and the fate of the Republic and the Chancellor.
He's being faced with the one chance of saving his family. Not the Jedi. His real family, his wife and their soon-to-be born child. He can't let them die. He – he can't, and Palpatine is right. He can't be certain that the Jedi won't use this as an excuse to kill him. Anakin needs him, and... and even now, he can't let go of years of friendship. Palpatine was a mentor and the only person who supported him. He can't – he can't let that fall, either.
It's a choice, one final time. Either he can let the Jedi commit treason and be complicit in it – because he has a very, very strong feel that's exactly what's happening; it's been too long otherwise – or he can go there and stop them and ensure Padme has a chance at survival. She can't die, not now. The war is so close to ending, and that's what she wanted to see. She may yet have the chance to see the Republic changing and... becoming what she wanted. And their child... she – or is it he? – can still be born and live.
He can't lose them.
Throwing cautions aside, Anakin takes off for the hanger. It takes a matter of minutes, even if it feels like forever, for him to reach the Senate building. By the time he arrives, the duel is already... over. He barely notices the three dead Jedi inside, but Windu seems to have won. Palpatine's lightsaber – assuming he had one – is who-knows-where, and he's cornered on the window ledge. The glass is nowhere to be seen. It must have been quite a fight.
The two are, unsurprisingly, screaming at each other, and Anakin takes a few steps back when Palpatine unleashes a lightning attack on Windu who raises his lightsaber to block it. It's playing out before his eyes, now. His only hope at saving his wife and child is so close to being lost. Palpatine is right. Windu is trying to kill him in cold blood. Someone who is, for all intents and purposes, already defenseless and a prisoner.
"You can't kill him!" Anakin objects, stepping forwards. "He must stand trial." He can hardly believe it, that the second most important person in the Order is committing treason right before his eyes. If he doesn't stop this, that's what he's doing. It'll mean that Palpatine was right, and this was most likely preplanned, and...
"He has too much control of the Senate and the Courts. He is too dangerous to be kept alive."
"It's not the Jedi way!" He's not only betraying the principles of the Republic, but the Jedi beliefs as well. It – why? Anakin killed Dooku when he was defenseless, even if he shouldn't have and it constantly haunts him, but this is... totally different. It's the Chancellor, and this is treason. They barely have a legitimate reason to arrest him, as is.
"The Jedi Order is falling. It's only a matter of time!"
The words drift through his mind, words another one of his former friends once spoke. Barriss has been responsible for bombing the Temple close to a year ago, and it had been very hard to track her down. He hadn't understood her reasoning at the time – it was wrong, regardless – but now he does. She foresaw this, and she tried to warn them.
Pong Krell foresaw it – even if Anakin would very happily kill him all over again for what he did.
So many have foreseen this.
"All those who have power are afraid to lose it..."
"He must live!" Anakin shouts as Windu raises his lightsaber for the kill. Except, it's not only Palpatine – his friend – that's going to die because of this. Padme and their child will, too, and the Republic... "I need him!"
Windu isn't listening. He won't stop. He's going to –
It happens so fast, and so slow at the same time. "No!" Anakin screams. It wasn't even a conscious decision. His raw, blinding panic overwhelms him, and he whips out his lightsaber, the blade slashing off the Jedi Master's hand. Palpatine instantly unleashes a barrage of lighting on Windu, throwing him off the window ledge and out of the building.
Anakin stumbles back, lightsaber slipping from his hand and clanking to the floor as shock overwhelms him. "What have I done?" It – he got Windu killed. By turning his blade against the Jedi Master, he turned his back on the Order. In a split second of panic, he chose Palpatine over the Jedi. He got Master Windu killed. He...
For the first time in his life, Anakin finds he can feel, actually feel Palpatine – Sidious' – presence. It's like a deep, dark hole in the Force, and a chill runs down his spine.
"You are fulfilling your destiny, Anakin," Palpatine says. He's standing again, standing over Anakin in a way that, somehow, reminds him of how much has changed and of who he really is: the Sith Lord who took down four Jedi Masters. "Become my apprentice/ Learn the ways of the Dark Side."
And, in that moment, Anakin asks himself, what choice does he have? He betrayed the Jedi in a hasty moment of desperation. There is no going back, not from here, not as though there's anything to go back to. They betrayed the Republic. Either he can refuse and die, and let Sidious find his child – he doesn't know about them, does he? – or he can live and... save his family.
"I will do whatever you ask," Anakin promises, a slight tremor in his voice.
"Good," the Sith almost gloats.
"Just help me save Padme's life –" And my child, he adds silently, ducking his head. He's turning his back on everything, and he knows it. He's – he's selling his soul for them, practically selling himself back into slavery. He knows it. It doesn't matter, as long as they're alright. He knows what he's doing, and he hates himself for it. "I can't live without her."
"To cheat death is a power only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know we can discover the secret."
He forces himself to look up, then, to meet the Sith's gaze. Slowly, he lowers himself to his knees. It's a position of submission, and it grates on him how, somehow, no matter what he does, he ends up like this with someone, but it doesn't matter. "I pledge myself to your teachings. To the ways of the Sith."
"Good, good. The Force is strong with you." His voice has taken on a more... sinister edge, that well matches the Sith he truly is. Anakin feels the Dark Side surging up around the other, and carefully, very carefully, lets it in. It's not entirely... foreign to him, but never has he felt it so strongly. "A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth... Vader."
Vader. The name fits somehow. It resonates with something deep within himself.
Vader, the name his new master gave him. The name that – that reinstates his status as a slave. He was here once, and he's back here again. It angers him, and instead of burying it deep down like he's become so accustomed to, he lets it flood him. "Thank you, my master," Vader says, glancing up at him before looking back at the floor.
Palpatine – no, Sidious steps back, pacing to his desk. "Rise, Darth Vader."
He stands, slowly, turning to face his master, awaiting his next order. This is... strange. He doesn't know what to expect. He doesn't have any idea what to do or what it will take for him to learn what he needs to know.
He doesn't have to wait long. "Because the Council did not trust you, my young apprentice, I believe you are the only Jedi with no knowledge of this plot. When the Jedi learn what has transpired here, they will kill us, along with all the Senators," Sidious relates.
"I agree. The Jedi's next moves will be against the Senate," Vader agrees. Seeing the lengths to which they were going, intending to take over the Republic, he has little doubt what his... master is saying is the truth. They need to be stopped. Master Windu's actions proved the extents to which the Jedi would go to kill the Sith.
"Every single Jedi, including your friend Obi-Wan Kenobi, is now an enemy of the Republic."
Yes, he knows, even if he hasn't thought about it. He hasn't had the time, but – but... he knew. Obi-Wan is on the Council, and if something is going on, of course he would know. He would never have told Anakin anything. He was the one who used Anakin, time and time again. And now... a part of him cries out in denial, screaming in protest to it. He can't let Obi-Wan die. He – he can't. For so long, Obi-Wan was – still is – everything to him, even if those feelings aren't at all reciprocated. It's either this and try, hope against hope that maybe he'll be able to keep his former master alive, or let his entire family die. "I understand, Master," Vader replies tonelessly.
"We must move quickly. The Jedi are relentless. If they are not all destroyed, it will be civil war without end. First, I want you to go to the Jedi Temple. We will catch them off balance. Do what must be done, Lord Vader. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. Only then will you be strong enough with the Dark Side to save Padme."
Vader knows what this means, what this will entail, and his every instint scream at the sheer wrongness of it. But... he can't help them. He's a Sith now. He can't help everyone, and they chose this. They knew what they were getting into when they chose to commit treason. And Palpatine is right. Many innocents will die needlessly if the Jedi survive. "What about the other Jedi spread across the galaxy?" he asks instead.
"Their betrayal will be dealt with," Sidious replies, which answers little to nothing. He has no idea what that means. "After you have killed all the Jedi in the Temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace."
He feels oddly disconnected in a sense when he leaves the office. He doesn't think of the one thing he's spent his life working towards, and how he's going to tear it down. He doesn't think of what he's about to do. He doesn't think of strategies or how he'll go about it.
The one thought on replay running through his mind is that Obi-Wan is going to die. However he figures it, whatever he does... there's nothing he can do to stop it. Vader's going to lose him, too, though it's not as if Obi-Wan wouldn't leave him, anyway. If anyone could survive whatever Sidious is about to throw at the Jedi, it's definitely Obi-Wan, but... if he came back, it wouldn't have changed what he did. It wouldn't have changed the laws. It wouldn't make him any less guilty of treason.
Either way, no matter what he does, Vader is going to lose him.
He wants to scream. To cry. To rage. But in the end, all he can do is keep moving and carry on with the mission.
"Rex," he calls tonelessly into his comm. Idly, he knows he sounds as dead as he feels. "Get the boys ready. We're going in."
**w**
Vader is still on Mustafar when he feels it. Something in the Force feels wrong. He can't place it, but it's undeniably there. He knows he needs to get back to Coruscant. Sidious hadn't called him, but he doesn't wait. He should, and he's certain his master will be upset, but the Force is urging him to go, and he complies.
The sky is partly cloudy, as it has been a lot as of late, when he arrives at Padme's apartment. The first thing he notices is the strange lack of her presence. Then... two very brilliant presences, that block out almost everything else. And... a strange sense of loss.
Sabe, surprisingly enough, is waiting for him when he arrives. She feels strangely empty, and her face is pale. Something happened. "Anakin," she greets immediately.
"What happened?" Vader asks. "Is – where's Padme? Is she alright?"
"She went into labor after you left," Sabe explains, "And she... she didn't make it."
"No," he whispers in denial, taking a step back. She can't... no. This shouldn't have happened. Sidious promised they could save her, and he didn't. She's gone. He can feel it in the Force. The sudden, gaping void he feels would make so much sense.
"I know she was... close to you," she continues quietly. "I'm sorry." Suddenly, how close she looks to tears actually makes sense. She was Padme's sister in all but blood.
"The child?" he asks faintly. He feels faint. He failed her, his angel, and...
"Twins," Sabe answers. "They survived, but... I need to tell you. I was in the room, and I could've sworn I felt something in there. It was..." She frowns.
"What?" he demands.
"Dark," she states after a moment of consideration, "It was cold. I can't explain it."
The Dark Side, that's what she was feeling. Vader can tell as much from her description. And that can only mean one thing. Padme isn't dead from childbirth; she's died from something else.
She was killed.
By Sidious.
"Show me," he demands.
The ride over to the medcenter is completely silent. It's not like there's anything to say. As soon as Sabe takes him to the room, he senses it. The Dark Side is still hanging heavily in the room where Padme died. Sidious.
In that moment, grief crashes over him in a flood, followed by the sense of betrayal.
Why? Sidious promised him that he was going to save her. Vader did all of this for her and their children, and... it was all for naught. Maybe, maybe he was able to save the twins, but Vader instinctively knows the truth. Sidious was lying to him, using him, the same way the Jedi were.
Whatever left in him that made him Anakin Skywalker shatters entirely in that moment. He has... nothing. No one, except his children, and he has to protect them from Sidious. And now, there's only one way he can do that.
He calls Rex to join him and Sabe immediately. "Take the twins and get off planet," he orders, determination settling over him.
"What are you going to do?" Sabe asks warily.
"They won't be safe as long as they're here," he replies, dodging the question. "Just take them and go. Both of you. Don't come back unless I tell you." Because, even if he doesn't die while fighting Sidious – he hopes he does; he doesn't want to keep living, not while Padme and Obi-Wan are gone – he's certain he won't win. Sidious will, and if he kept Vader alive, it would be to remake him into an apprentice he could control completely. If things come to that, he wants the twins as far away from here as possible. This is something he has to face. Alone.
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