Ten
She let out a sigh of contentment as she buried her face into his bare chest, relishing the warmth he provided. Morning had arrived far too quickly for her liking. After a sound night of sleep, she woke to the sound of an alarm going off. She tried ignoring the noise, knowing full-well that sleeping in was a rare occasion for both of them. She wanted to talk with Leonard about the idea of proposing. After their conversation the other night, she realized with a start how ready she was for that step. There were so many times when he had been reluctant to move forward in that part of their lives. But the moment he finally dropped that bombshell the other night was when realization dawned on her.
He's willing to take that risk for someone like me, she realized. Her heart nearly swelled with joy at the thought. She wanted nothing more than to press him on the other night and what to do from there.
But the alarm suddenly went off again, jostling her from her thoughts. Emily bit back a groan of frustration when she felt Leonard shift from the sudden noise. She knew if it was a report from Daystrom or if Jim wanted to see them, he would have paid them a personal visit. Someone else was trying to reach them, and when she reluctantly answered her com, her brows furrowed together in concern.
"What do they want?"
Emily almost laughed when she heard Leonard's muffled question. His face was buried in a pillow as he tried blocking out the sunlight. She shook her head and leaned forward, kissing the small of his back. The moment she did that was when Leonard finally glanced in her direction. She didn't miss how exhausted he was from their previous activities the other night. Not that she couldn't blame him. It was rare for them to sleep in on any occasion, let alone after a long mission out in space. She tried taking advantage of whatever chance she had to sleep in, and Leonard was no different in that notion.
"Admiral Pike wants me to join Jim and Spock for a meeting," she explained. Leonard's brow shot up at the mention of Spock joining them. She had little doubt this had to do with the mission on Nibiru, and she was dreading the moment Pike dragged her into the mess. "Leonard, go back to sleep. I'll let you know what happened when I'm back."
Leonard let out a heavy sigh when he realized what she was implying. This was going to be a long day if Spock was involved. But there wasn't any point in arguing. The one morning they had off at the same time and they couldn't even spend it together. Still, that didn't stop him from returning her kiss without hesitation.
Once she made it clear that she would be back, she climbed out of the bed and changed into her uniform. After the involvement she had with the mission regarding Nibiru, she knew Spock would likely file a report. Though it had been a rescue attempt on Jim's part, he still followed the rules blindly. Emily shook her head at the thought, realizing with a start that if Spock did file a report, then they would all face the consequences.
She tried pushing the uneasy thought aside as she met with Jim outside the apartment complex. The smug look written across his face was enough for her eyes to roll in exasperation. He knew exactly what she and Leonard were usually up to during their shore-leave. Though truthfully, they tried keeping that part of their lives private.
"You and Bones have a good night?" he asked cheekily.
"It was a good morning until Admiral Pike called," she rolled her eyes as they walked side-by-side.
"I am surprised he called you in as well as Spock," he nodded in agreement.
His brows furrowed together when he thought of what led to such a request. Though Emily already had an idea of why Pike had called all three of them to his office. As they silently made their way to Daystrom, Spock was already waiting for them. Once greetings were underway, all three of them made their way towards the main building. Emily didn't miss the fact that Jim had begun talking about the five-year mission almost as soon as they were all together. She nearly rolled her eyes at the prospect, knowing full-well that Leonard would have a few choice words regarding said mission.
"Jim, would you please calm down already?" Emily nearly rolled her eyes as Jim practically ran through the courtyard that stretched before San Francisco's Starfleet headquarters. It was early in the morning, and she and Leonard had received a rude awakening upon hearing her com go off. She hadn't been happy to find out that she along with Jim and Spock were to report to Admiral Pike's office later that morning. And of course, Leonard hadn't been happy either. She tried making the most out of a bad situation by ignoring Jim's antics that morning. He had a tendency to do whatever it took to piss her off, along with Leonard. Today was no different. "You're behaving like an overexcited puppy."
Jim suddenly spun around so that he was facing her while walking backwards. With Spock keeping pace with her, he simply tried to ignore Jim's oddly enthusiastic behavior himself. The morning she received her call to report with Jim and Spock, she left her apartment after changing into uniform to meet with Jim. Since he only lived a couple of blocks from their apartment, meeting up with him was easy. And of course, the coy look written across Jim's face when they met up was enough of a reminder why she and Leonard had been so reluctant to tell him the truth about their relationship. He didn't take anything seriously, and their relationship had been a case-in-point.
"Are you planning on putting a leash on me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Only if it keeps you from running away from medical bay," she replied with equal amusement. Jim's face fell the moment she brought up his least favorite place on a ship, or in general. She knew he wasn't fond of hospitals or doctors. He only tolerated Leonard because the man never tried forcing anything upon him unless it was necessary. Plus, Leonard had immeasurable patience. "I'm sure Leonard would appreciate not having to tie you down to a biobed for an exam."
"I'm surprised he hasn't tried that trick on you yet," he remarked. By now, his smirk had widened to the size of a Cheshire cat's grin. "I'm sure Bones isn't above doing dirty things while on shift."
It took everything Emily had not to smack the coy smirk written across his face. If Leonard had been there to hear it, he would have more than likely hogtied Jim to the ground and left him there without another word. Even if what he said was partly true, Leonard would never admit it out loud for the world to hear. They had always struggled to maintain a professional relationship while they were on duty aboard the Enterprise. Though it was never easy, she knew they would never stoop to those levels while on the ship.
Though maybe it wouldn't hurt to try pulling that trick off, she thought with a smirk of amusement. She could already imagine how Leonard would react if she pulled off such a stunt.
"I fail to understand why this conversation is relevant to your enthusiasm," Spock put in after observing the two for the last couple of minutes.
"That's because it isn't," Emily muttered under her breath.
Spock would hear her complaint, and judging from the look he threw her, he had heard loud and clear.
"Your feelings aside, I consider it highly unlikely that we will be selected for the new program," Spock agreed with her, for once.
"Why else would Pike want to see us?" Jim asked after rolling his eyes at their lack of enthusiasm, "Forget about seniority, they gave us the newest ship in the fleet. Who else are they gonna send out?"
"I can think of numerous possibilities," Spock replied.
"I can list them all, if you'd like," Emily added with a knowing smirk.
"Come on, a five-year mission, Spock! That's deep space, that's uncharted territories! Think how incredible that's gonna be."
Emily could already imagine every reason they shouldn't go on a five-year mission. It was difficult enough imagining what the future would be like within five years, let alone performing a deep space exploration. She and Leonard had slowly but surely been talking about what the future would be like. And none of that revolved around going into space again. A shiver of unease swept through her as she wondered whether or not they would even have a future together.
She knew that Spock wasn't above sending in a report about what had gone wrong during their time on Nibiru. He would likely find some reason to file a report and make everything more complicated than it already was. Just as Jim continued enthusing about the five-year mission, he turned his back on them and greeted a couple of pretty looking women walking by. Emily nearly rolled her eyes at the sight and flicked him across the back of his ear for good measure.
"You never learn, do you?" she shook her head in amusement.
Jim only stuck his tongue out in response, though she could tell even he was struggling not to laugh. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Spock kept pace with them. He never could understand the antics that went on between them. While she didn't blame him for not having the nature to understand human jokes, it also annoyed her at times when they would have to constantly explain themselves.
Unfortunately, Jim didn't get the chance to enjoy the moment for long when they finally reached Pike's office. Emily hadn't missed how tense the atmosphere was once everyone was situated inside. She stood between Jim and Spock in the vain attempt to keep them from arguing. She could already imagine that was where the situation was headed if the look written across Pike's face wasn't anything to go by.
"Uneventful."
Jim's once brimming face turned into an immediate frown when he noticed the files scattered along Pike's desk. Emily noted that they were comparison notes, one sent by Jim himself and the other sent by Spock. She grimaced as she guessed what Spock had done prior to this meeting. The Vulcan had likely filed a report on Jim and his antics aboard the Enterprise.
"Admiral?" Jim tried maintaining a straight face as he felt utterly confused to why Pike looked so disappointed.
"That's the way you describe the survey in Nibiru in your Captain's Log," Pike explained, looking up at him.
"Ah, yes, sir. I didn't wanna waste your time going over the details," Jim replied, looking slightly uncomfortable at being put on the spotlight, again.
"Yeah. Tell me more about this volcano," Pike went on, clearly wanting more than just an excuse from Jim. Emily winced when she realized where Pike was getting at. His silence from earlier had been uncomfortable enough, but seeing the look he threw all three of them made it that much worse. "Data says it was highly volatile, if it were to erupt, it would wipe out the planet."
"Well, let's hope it doesn't, sir."
"Something tells me it won't." Pike frowned as he leaned forward and eyed Jim with the classic, 'I know you did something wrong', look.
She'd seen Coulson offer that look often enough to know what it meant. It was usually reserved for agents who tended to break the rules, or when she did something behind his back knowing the consequences.
"I think the data might have been off, sir," Emily tried putting in helpfully. "Anything that volatile can die down at times, and it didn't look like it was going to erupt."
"Or maybe it didn't erupt, because Mr. Spock detonated a cold fusion device inside it, that you designed," Pike snapped, turning his gaze to Emily before looking back at Jim, "right after a civilization that's barely invented the wheel, happens to see a Starship rising out of their ocean!" He paused, and Emily found herself flinching at the tone in his voice, "That is pretty much how you describe it, is it not?"
"Admiral—"
"You filed a report?" Jim glared at Spock accusingly.
"And you really thought he wouldn't?" Emily asked through gritted teeth.
She had already reached the conclusion that Spock would file a report on that. It was in his nature. As a Vulcan, they were inclined to follow the rules even if it meant killing them. There were several SHIELD agents who would have felt the same way. By following the rules, it meant they would move higher up in the rinks.
"I incorrectly assumed that you would be truthful in your Captain's Log," Spock defended himself.
"Yeah, I would have been if I didn't have to save your life," Jim scoffed. "Not to mention you defied our acting Captain's orders."
He threw Emily a look that made her nearly roll her eyes. She hated being dragged into the middle of an argument in the first place. If Spock and Jim started arguing again, she knew it would lead to a major headache that would only make matters worse. After dealing with the team and Leonard's antics, she'd quickly grown accustomed to those headaches. Though even Leonard had admitted that it wasn't healthy for anyone to deal with such atrocities on a daily basis like she sometimes did.
"A fact for which I am immeasurably grateful and the very reason I felt it necessary to take responsibility for the actions taken by—"
"Spock, please… just stop," Emily pleaded while pinching the bridge of her nose. The headache she felt earlier was slowly but surely returning at full force. She could already feel the room spinning around her, and it took everything she had not to lose control of her powers. "You're not helping."
"Responsibility?" Jim scoffed once again, "Yeah. That'd be so noble, Pointy, if you weren't also throwing me under the bus."
And he isn't helping with matters, Emily nearly rolled her eyes once again as Jim pointed out the obvious.
"Pointy?" Spock frowned, clueless to the fact that Jim was referring to his ears, "Is that a derogative reference?"
"Gentlemen," Pike began, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration when he caught the look in Emily's eyes. "Are they always like this?"
"Worse," she muttered.
Pike frowned at that. He was all too aware of Emily's abilities and the fact that they were controlled by how strongly she felt. If Jim and Spock took things too far, it wouldn't end well for anyone. But she had better control over her emotions than most people realized. She was struggling to maintain them at that moment while listening to their argument unfold. It was worse when Leonard got dragged into the argument, because she usually had to face the aftermath of it all. The only consolation she had now was that they had a few days break in between the next mission, whenever that would happen next.
"Starfleet's mandate is to explore and observe, not to interfere," he continued after shaking his head, knowing that she had to have remarkable patience for dealing with the two of them.
"Had the mission gone according to plan, Admiral, the indigenous species would never have been aware of our interference," Spock quipped.
"Had you listened to our advice, we wouldn't have had to rescue you in the first place," Emily cut in, narrowing her eyes.
"That's a technicality," Pike pointed out.
"I am Vulcan, sir. We embrace technicality," Spock remarked, at least having the decency to defend her explanation.
"You giving me attitude, Spock?" Pike rose an eyebrow.
"I'm expressing multiple attitudes simultaneously, sir. To which are you referring?"
"Out," he pointed to the door, "You're dismissed." He waited until the Vulcan had left, hesitating for a few moments before leaving, shutting the door behind him. "Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass you are?" he added, looking at Jim pointedly.
"I think so, sir," Jim replied, still trying to keep a straight face after that argument.
"At any rate, I am proud of you two." Both Emily and Jim stiffened in surprise at that. "Using the cooling device to render the volcano… that was clever."
"A trick I learned from a movie," she explained with a shrug.
Well, it was technically true. She and Scotty had worked on the device for hours during a drinking regime. While Leonard had been anything but happy that they were working together, Tony had a field day trying to get the device operational. The best part was knowing that it had worked at all. Though it took a few hours for them to finish the device, their success meant more could be developed later down the road.
"And if you're going to blame anyone for this, blame me," Jim suddenly put in.
Emily glanced at Jim in surprise when he tried deflecting her from the problem. She had as much of a hand in this mess as everyone else. Though, she suspected that Pike had called her to his office for an entirely different reason.
"Nope. According to the report, you and Coulson had a say in the matter," Pike shook his head. "So, tell me what you did wrong? What's the lesson to be learned here?" he asked, hoping that Kirk would at least answer him honestly.
He knew that Emily would work it out eventually. She was smart enough to figure out when to keep her mouth shut if the situation demanded it. Her mouth morphed into a frown as she thought of how Spock had filed the report revolving around their mission on Nibiru. While Jim did violate the regulations by rescuing Spock and revealing the Enterprise to an entire indigenous species, it had been for a good reason. It wasn't as if they could leave Spock behind.
"Never trust a Vulcan," Jim muttered.
"Jim… "
She threw Jim a warning look, knowing that Pike wanted to hear from Jim himself that he understood why this was a serious problem. Unfortunately, while Jim understood the reasons behind being reported under such circumstances, he was still going to act defiant over it.
"Oh, see. You can't even answer the question," Pike snapped, "You lied! On an official report, you lied!"
"I lie all the time, and I'm not the only one who does," Jim retorted, though he immediately regretted bringing it up when Emily threw him a furious glare.
"Oh, you're really going to bring that up now?" she fired back. "Unlike you, I don't lie on official reports, which is one of the worst offenses you could've committed."
Pike almost smirked at that. Working with SHIELD had given her a unique perspective on the rules and guidelines. She of all people understood how important it was to maintain the strict code that Starfleet regulated among Officers.
"You think the rules don't apply to you cause you disagree with them," he added after letting those words sink in.
"That's why you talked me into signing up in the first place, that's why you gave me your ship," Kirk retorted.
Emily swallowed hard at that. Jim hadn't been given the ship simply because Pike believed in him. While that was technically the case, it was also because Pike saw something in Jim at the time that others didn't. She understood the risks that Jim was taking in making such a statement, especially when Pike's brows furrowed together with frustration. He wasn't the least bit happy with that response. Jim could have said anything else to make the situation better, and instead, he had to brag about how he made it to the top ranks.
"I gave you my ship because I saw greatness in you. And now I see you haven't got an ounce of humility."
And there's the nail in the coffin, she thought after catching the look written across Jim's face. It hurt to know that Jim had reached this point in his career. He shouldn't have pointed out the fact that Pike had handed him the ship with open arms. He was expected to act like a Captain and follow the regulations. And while they had a good reason for breaking protocol, she understood that it shouldn't have happened in the first place.
"What else were we supposed to do, sir?" she suddenly found herself asking. She knew she was going to regret asking such a question. Catching Pike's eyes as they reached hers, she narrowed them and managed to maintain her composure. "Leave Spock behind to die?"
"You're missing the point," he retorted.
"I don't think we are, sir! What would you have done?" Jim snapped.
"I wouldn't have risked my first officer's life in the first place. You were supposed to survey a planet, not alter its destiny!" Emily finally flinched at that. Altering a planet's destiny was one of the highest violations of the regulations. And she had a feeling that it was only going to get worse. The problem was, she had already watched more than enough people die in her lifetime. She wasn't going to let the same thing happen to Spock if she could prevent it, and Pike seemed to know that as well. "You violated a dozen Starfleet regulations and almost got everyone under your command killed."
"Except I didn't! You know how many crew I've lost since I took Captainship?"
"That's your problem!"
"Not one!"
"You think you're infallible! You think you can't make a mistake, it's a pattern with you! The rules are for other people."
"Some should be," Jim muttered under his breath.
Jim, please don't make this any worse than you already have, Emily silently begged him. She desperately wanted to say something else, but she had a feeling Jim would just ignore her. Or worse, he would drag her into his mess and somehow pin the blame on him. Ever since he found out that she had been working for SHIELD, Jim never quite got over it. They might have finally started seeing eye-to-eye, but that didn't mean Jim wasn't above making her life ten times worse.
"And what's worse is you're using blind luck to justify you're playing God!" Pike shook his head and leaned against the back of his chair. He regretted having to bring up the one thing that would strip Jim's title away from him. But it had to be done. He couldn't keep covering for the man if he was just going to repeat his mistakes. "I am proud of the both of you. You've surpassed my expectations at the Academy, in more ways than one. But, given the circumstances, this has been brought to Admiral Marcus' attention. He convened a special tribunal to which I was not invited. You understand what Starfleet regulations mandate be done at this point?"
Emily frowned when she realized what Pike was implying. A lump formed in the back of her throat as she thought of how Jim had violated the regulations far too many times. He'd gone too far this time. Even if Pike had been at the tribunal, she suspected he wouldn't stand up for Jim. At that point, the Council would have more than likely blamed Pike for allowing Jim to get away with his recklessness. And she knew it wasn't fair for the Admiral to suffer from Jim's consequences.
"They've taken the Enterprise away from you. They're sending you back to the Academy," Pike finished as if he'd read her thoughts.
"Admiral, listen—"
"No," Pike snapped. "I'm not listening. Why should I listen?" he asked as Kirk continued helplessly defending himself, "You don't listen to anybody but yourself!"
"I understand the regulation, but every decision I've made is my own, don't blame Emily or anyone else."
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when Jim brought her name up once more. Emily glanced at Jim self-consciously when she realized that he was willing to take full blame for his actions. Even if it meant getting kicked out of Starfleet in the process. The lump that had formed earlier was slowly building as she tried to swallow it. She couldn't let him take the entire blame. Considering everyone had been involved in some way or another, it only made sense to at least stand together.
"I'm willing to take full responsibility for my involvement in this mess," she admitted. Both Jim and Pike looked at her in surprise. Emily looked down at the floor guiltily as she thought of the innocent lives that could have been killed had they not intervened. "I'm not going to let an entire planet die just because the regulations forbade it from happening. If it means getting kicked out of the Fleet for doing the right thing, then so be it."
For once, Pike was thoroughly impressed with the way she handled herself. If she was this willing to take responsibility for her actions, then she at least deserved some kind of reward for it. He knew she could have easily pinned the entire blame on Jim and left it at that.
"You're right," he stated with a nod, "You both had a hand in this and you'll both face the consequences."
"Sir, wait—"
"I can't listen," Pike cut him off with a warning look as Jim started to argue. "You don't comply with the rules, you don't take responsibility for anything, and you don't respect the chair. You know why? Because you're not ready for it," Pike told him.
Jim let out a breath at that, looking as if he'd been punched in the gut. Emily held back a sigh as he turned and left. Losing the Enterprise… it pretty much was like a punch in the gut. She hadn't thought of the consequences up until that point. Then again, she knew that violating the regulations had serious consequences. Jim not only violated the regulations by revealing the Enterprise to those aliens, but he also lied on a report.
He could be kicked out of the Fleet for pulling that off, she realized.
"Sir, I understand that he took a huge risk in letting them see the Enterprise, but he really is better suited as Captain than most people I know," she admitted once Jim left the room. Pike lifted a brow as she sucked in a breath and met his piercing gaze once more. "I'd be willing to vouch for him if it comes to the point where they'd kick him out."
"It won't come to that," Pike reassured her with a small smile. This woman was truly a complicated one. He hadn't been expecting to hear her defend the Captain so willingly after everything he did to her. Then again, there was still so much about Emily that he didn't know. "I'll try and have a word with the Council about his status… he deserves a fair trial at the very least."
Emily gave a stiff nod at that. Her shoulders sagged in relief when she realized that Pike was at least willing to stand up for Jim if he needed to. Though, she had a feeling that Jim's report wasn't the only reason Pike had called her into his office. She hadn't missed a separate file that was placed on the side of his desk in the form of a data PADD. While he managed to keep his movements subtle, she could tell that there was more he wanted to say.
"I'm running under the assumption that I'm not here just because of our last mission?" she suddenly deadpanned.
"Unfortunately, your instincts are pretty on par," Pike replied without missing a beat. Emily couldn't help but frown when Pike reached for the data PADD sitting on the side of his desk. "I'm afraid that this isn't just about Kirk's mistakes. Spock filed a report on the fact that you've been spying on the ship, which judging from the face you just made, isn't the case."
Her face faltered at the mention of spying on the ship. As far as Emily could recall, she didn't remember agreeing to such an atrocity. At the same time, she had no doubts that SHIELD would stoop to such levels. If they did plant cameras throughout the ship without her consent, she wouldn't have been surprised. The agency had a tendency to keep an eye on agents working outside their usual jobs. She had learned this the hard way when she took a break after suffering from the assholes that captured her and tortured her.
"Sir, you of all people should know that I wouldn't betray the crew like that," she said through gritted teeth.
"I understand that," Pike reassured her, though she could tell it pained him to say what had to be said next, "But Spock found cameras scattered throughout the ship, with the SHIELD logo on them. I may not be able to contact the agency, but I'm willing to bet they did this without your consent."
Of course they did, she thought bitterly. Her fists clenched as she realized that Spock would be the one to file a report on her. There was a time when she would have considered them as maybe more than just colleagues working together. Now, she understood that they weren't even that. Spock was just another Starfleet Officer who had been hellbent on finding some way of kicking her off the ship. Like Jim and just like everyone else, he would betray her.
"As it is, the Council has also held a tribunal on your case regarding the cameras," he went on after letting that information sink in. "They've already reached the verdict that you can't be trusted."
He wasn't any happier with their decision than she was. Emily's teeth ground together as she wondered how she would even break the news to Leonard. Just hours ago, she had been happy and content in his arms. And now, that was all about to be stripped away. It took everything she had not to lose control right then and there. She knew none of this was Pike's fault, and he would have gone out of his way to prevent it from happening in the first place.
"I understand," she nodded resentfully, knowing that whatever she said wouldn't matter at that point.
"I'm sorry, Emily," he sighed once it became painfully obvious that their discussion was over. "I wish there was more I could do about it, but there's only so much I can do."
"I know." Something swept across her eyes – sympathy. Pike lifted a brow in surprise as she let out a heavy sigh of her own. She refused to make eye contact when she turned around and headed for the exit, "Thank you, for everything you've done."
With those parting words, she left before he could say anything else. And in that moment, he knew that something needed to be done to fix this mess.
AN: Sorry it's taken a month to update. Classes have been busy and I'm trying to focus my attention on them - I'm going for a degree in Wildlife Conservation and that's far more important to me than FF at the moment. At any rate, special thanks to Just a Crazy Man for reviewing! Reviews are always appreciated!