It was Gordon's first day at DuPaul, the new law firm he'd been hired at.
It was a much better atmosphere than Ducksworth had been. He also promised himself not to get sucked in like he had the first time around. Things were different. He was different. He was going to make sure it stayed that way too.
A puff of air made its way past his lips.
Living with Charlie was nice, to put it simply. He'd envisioned something similar back when he and Casey had briefly dated. He'd wanted that for himself, for them. He wanted to be in their lives, being around for those day to day moments, to be a part of a family. He might not be part of the family in any way, but he could still be around Charlie. He was so very proud of the young man he'd grown into. It was a pleasure to watch him grow up from that small ten year old to someone that was soon going to be teaching.
He smiled fondly. The past couple of days were interesting, to say the least. They were still getting used to each other and each other's habits. He'd been less than pleased to find Charlie drinking out of the juice carton, thanking his lucky stars that he had his own juice to drink from.
Putting that aside, it felt so natural to live with Charlie.
They came to an agreement where Gordon paid a portion of the bills and split the housework in half. Charlie tried to tell him it was unnecessary, insisting that he should use the majority of his pay to save for a place.
"Sounds like you want me out already," Gordon teased.
Charlie rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."
"I know, and I'm not doing that, Charlie. I want to contribute."
Charlie mumbled incoherently.
Charlie had been awake pretty early this morning, Gordon remembered. He was stressing over whether he'd gotten that job or not. It was doing him no good, but there was no telling Charlie that. He would be anxious until he received confirmation or otherwise.
Gordon yawned as he went into the kitchen, still in his pajamas and barefoot. He blinked when he realized Charlie was at the table, face buried in his arms. He would have assumed he would be sleeping, considering the time. It was early, the sun wasn't even up yet.
"Charlie?" he said softly so as not to startle him.
"Huh?" Charlie mumbled sleepily.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" Gordon asked.
He received a shrug as a response. Not exactly what he was looking for.
"Don't you have to work today?" He swore he thought Charlie said he worked at a bakery or something.
"Yeah."
"When?" Gordon said.
"Later."
Well, wasn't that specific? Gordon sighed. "Go upstairs and get some sleep, Charlie."
"I can't sleep."
"Yes, you can," Gordon disagreed. "Stop worrying and shut your eyes."
"But-" Charlie was starting to protest.
"Go," Gordon felt like a parent talking to his child as Charlie sighed, getting up and going to his room.
He lifted his head up at a knock on his office door. Never did he expect to find Michelle standing there. His jaw dropped a little but he quickly recovered, clumsily rising to his feet. She seemed uncomfortable to be there, not that he could blame her.
"Michelle."
The two of them hadn't seen each other since that night he'd broken things off. They'd kept a distance between them and he hadn't planned on seeing her again if he could help it.
They maintained eye contact briefly. Neither of them seemed to know what to do next.
"Gordon," She eventually greeted, adjusting the hold she had on a small cardboard box. "I know this is sudden and I'm sorry to ambush you like this at work."
"How did you even know I work here?" he said, sounding slightly suspicious. It wasn't like he'd been broadcasting it. The only ones that were aware were the Ducks that had been at the party and Charlie. He was planning on telling the others soon just in case they would come for a visit.
She sighed heavily. "I ran into Jan recently and he told me all about it."
"Of course he did," Gordon muttered.
He'd forgotten that he'd told him as well.
"I thought it would be best to return a few of your things," Michelle said, approaching his desk to set the box down.
"It's not necessary," Gordon shook his head, hoping she'd take the hint and leave. It might have been rude, especially when it was his fault their relationship had soured, but it wasn't exactly comfortable for him to be in the same room with her after everything.
Maybe it was karma.
He did deserve it, after all.
"Gordon, no offense but I'd like for this stuff to be out of my house and if I don't give it to you, I'll end up throwing it away and I'd feel pretty guilty for doing that so please, just take your things back," She pushed the box towards him.
He didn't want to start any arguments. "Okay," he sorted through it, spotting a few things he hadn't seen for a while. For one, there was an old sweatshirt of his he'd given to her one night when she was feeling cold. A hat that she would wear on occasion, worn backwards just like he would do. Then there was also an empty picture frame; she'd thought it would be nice to have a picture of them taken and framed. The picture, which he assumed she must have thrown away, was of them in the autumn, near a tree with a couple leaves falling. She'd loved that picture.
He hadn't known how he felt about it.
"Thank you," Gordon felt compelled to say something.
"Of course," Her smile was right, her nod stiff. His eyes flickered to her and back down to the box. She looked like she was going to say something and it took another minute before she did. "I asked Jan if you were seeing anyone."
He stared and she quickly elaborated.
"I'm not trying to stalk you and I'm not jealous-okay, I might be a little bit you did break things off a little abruptly, Gordon," Michelle said defensively. "I was curious, that's all."
"I'm not seeing anyone," he said, not that he had to be telling her that. It was really none of her business.
She nodded, her face reflecting some embarrassment. "I know that. Jan told me. I just had to hear it for myself."
"You thought I moved on already?"
The air grew a bit with tension. He tried not to feel irritated but it was difficult to do. He wasn't the type to move on quickly, to go from woman to woman. During his younger years he did so shamelessly, but he wasn't that person anymore. He hadn't been that person for a while now.
"I didn't know," she admitted. "You broke things off so suddenly, I-" She sighed, shaking her head. "I wondered what happened, if it was something I did, if you'd met someone else."
"I wouldn't do that," He said curtly.
Never mind the fact that he wasn't telling the truth completely.
He might not have physically been with someone but his thoughts had drifted elsewhere much more than they should have.
"You told me you knew I didn't do anything," He reminded her.
And then he remembered.
She'd also mentioned Casey that night.
"You thought I was with Casey," he accused.
She looked away, bowing her head. "Yes," She murmured.
He turned away from her now, facing the large window behind him.
"Gordon, I'm sorry," Michelle was sincere, regretful. "But I'm sure if you were in my boat, you would've wondered the same thing."
"Or maybe I would've trusted you," He said snippy, turning back around. It was a lie, of course. Had everything been reversed, he would have been just as suspicious as she was. He wouldn't let her know that, not as a means of justifying what she felt. Perhaps petty, perhaps ridiculous. He just knew he wished they weren't having this conversation right now.
"Would you have?" She asked the question whilst looking at him straight in the face. "Can you honestly tell me you wouldn't have had the same questions?"
He didn't answer her. He couldn't without letting her know she'd been right.
Luckily, she let the subject drop.
"I didn't come to argue," She said quietly. A sigh left her. She sounded tired. "I just wanted to drop your things off."
"Well, you've done it," He said, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. "Thank you."
"Yeah," She muttered, understanding that was her cue to leave. She turned the other way. "Yeah..." She walked out, leaving him alone once more.
/
He ended up slamming the front door shut.
His frustration had boiled over. Gordon wanted nothing more than to collapse on his bed and to sleep it all off.
He'd been distracted since Michelle's visit. A couple of his new colleagues asked him if he was alright, to which he responded yes. It wasn't all concern-they were just being nosy.
"Rough day?"
Charlie was lying on the couch, watching TV. He seemed amused, likely because of Gordon's door slam. He usually was calm and cool in front of the Ducks-well, excluding some rather unpleasant past moments. But generally, since he'd realized what he wanted out of life and who he wanted to be, he kept his temper contained.
"Sorry," Gordon muttered.
"No big deal dude, it's a door," Charlie sat up, turning the TV off. "What's got you all upset?"
"Michelle," Gordon watched as Charlie stiffened.
"You saw her?"
"Not by choice," Gordon sat his briefcase down, taking off his suit jacket. The cool air was a much needed relief from the harsh sun and humidity outside. "She came to see me. Apparently, she talked to Jan and found out where I was."
"Sounds stalkerish," Charlie remarked.
Gordon snorted. "She was dropping off some things of mine." He'd left those things in the car, not wanting to deal with them right now.
"Oh," Charlie looked a little better now. Now that his fear that Gordon had sought her out for some reason had subsided. "And that's why you're mad?"
"We...we had a little disagreement," Gordon said carefully.
"About what?"
Gordon pulled off his tie, going to the kitchen with Charlie on his heels. "It's nothing major, Charlie."
"You can't mention it and not tell me," Charlie rolled his eyes.
"It's nothing," he tried again but gave up upon seeing that look from Charlie, which was something he'd inherited straight from Casey. "She thought I was with Casey."
"Like together with her?"
"Yeah," Gordon said with a heavy sigh.
It kept eating at him. He knew he shouldn't have gotten involved with Michelle when he was still hung up over Casey. It wasn't fair to either of them.
He'd never have Casey again. There was no reset button or second chance. He'd hoped for one before and had his hopes dashed.
He'd thought once he was back in town after his knee injury he could talk to her, but came to find out she was married! His stomach had dropped all the way to the floor, realization hitting him. He'd missed his chance.
And then prior to her short lived relationship, the two of them had begun to talk a little more because of Charlie. It hardly lasted long; he had to return to California for the Goodwill Games. The problem with Charlie got sorted out and he had no reason to speak to her.
"She assumed I moved on."
"Oh," Charlie repeated.
Gordon took a seat at the table. Charlie joined him, looking contemplative.
"Do you think you ever will?"
"What?" Gordon frowned.
"Move on," Charlie clarified, catching Gordon by surprise. "Will you? Look, I know you and Mom probably won't happen again but do you think you'll ever go for someone else?"
Gordon didn't expect that kind of question. Especially from Charlie. He'd wanted them together since all those years ago when they'd gotten to know each other. "I don't know," he admitted.
"It's not like you're getting any younger," Charlie pointed out.
Gordon felt like he was in the presence of his mother, who was still holding out hope that he would get married and give her grandchildren she could spoil. "Thanks," he said dryly. "Charlie, I don't know if I want to go for someone else."
"What does that mean?"
He didn't necessarily want to tell Charlie of his unresolved feelings for Casey, so as not to give him any hope of them getting back together even though it seemed like he'd accepted that already. "Clearly relationships aren't my forte," he joked lightly.
Charlie didn't laugh. "Guess they're not mine either."
"Charlie, you're only twenty three," Gordon said, "you've got plenty of time to find someone."
"I guess..."
Gordon was well aware that Linda breaking up with him had hit him hard. It was all so sudden. Evidently, Charlie believed things had been going much better than they were, so he'd been gobsmacked when she proved otherwise. The night of the breakup, he'd called Gordon up, sounding miserable as he explained everything. It'd hurt for Gordon to hear him sound so down. But there wasn't much he could do for a broken heart.
"Mom's trying to set me up," Charlie stared down at the table so hard he could've holes in it.
"Is she?"
"Some girl from her job," Charlie shrugged. "I told her I'm not interested."
Gordon felt compelled to say this. "She wants to see you happy."
"I can do it myself," Charlie mumbled. "Besides, I don't trust blind dates. Not after Adam's crappy date."
Charlie hadn't been the only one to go through a rough patch, romantically speaking. From what Gordon had heard bits and pieces of, Adam had been set up by Guy to go on a date with the sister of his former college roommate. It hadn't gone well at all. The girl had complained constantly, was rude to the waitstaff and demanded Adam take her elsewhere after she'd loudly declared her distaste for the restaurant she'd chosen.
"You can't reject them all," Gordon said.
"I thought we were talking about you?"
"Apparently we needed to talk about you too," Gordon said.
"There's nothing to talk about," Charlie denied. "I don't need a girlfriend."
"No," Gordon agreed. "But you also can't keep holding onto what you had with Linda."
"I'm not-" Charlie protested.
"Look," Gordon ran a hand through his hair, "I know I'm not good at this kind of talk but just listen: I know what it's like to feel hung up over someone you thought you loved. It sucks but you'll get through it, Charlie."
His words invoked something within Charlie. He didn't like anyone seeing him vulnerable but Gordon was able to see past his wall he'd put up.
"I know," Charlie rubbed at his face. "It just sucks. I thought she loved me and then she cheats on me without another thought!"
"Do you know for certain that she cheated?"
The way Charlie was looking at him, it indicated he thought that had been a stupid question to ask. "Oh, come on. It's obvious she did. She didn't just coincidentally meet that guy so soon after we broke up."
"Maybe not," Gordon conceded, knowing this avenue wasn't worth pursuing right now. "But don't keep thinking about it."
"Easy for you to say," Charlie sighed.
Gordon could have divulged his own troubles, further explaining about the thoughts he was wrestling with. He chose not to. "Do you think Linda's upset?" He continued, not letting Charlie have a chance to answer. "Charlie, I know you loved her but you have to let that go. You're going to find someone you're crazy about and you won't even remember her."
"I guess you're right," Charlie said reluctantly.
"Of course I am," Gordon leaned over to ruffle his hair like he used to.