"And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn/would scarcely know that we were gone"

Wednesday, September 26, 2277

7:02 PM

"...which is why swords aren't practical against real opponents even these days." Veronica finished. "Plus the glow makes you an instant target for tech collectors."

"Alright, I get it." Julia groused. "I promise not to go charging into battle with my 'magic sword'."

Our intrepid hero and her sarcastic right hand were busying themselves making camp for the night. The concrete bones of an old office building served as an anchor point for hanging tarps across some of the exposed gaps in the building, blocking both the wind and the line of sight of would-be snipers. Most of an ancient wall served as a backstop for their little camp, and Veronica was putting the finishing touches on a small cook-fire.

"It's all I ask," Veronica said lightly. "Aside from world peace, a leggy brunette, and Fancy Lads for all."

"You are a model of self-restraint in these trying times," Julia noted serenely. "What have we got for dinner?"

"Tinned beans, half a can of Cram, and filet of Dowannano." Veronica replied, setting each item up to be heated on the fire. "Extra juicy, that last one."

"Sorry, filet of what now?" Julia asked. "I thought I had a handle on these weird new mutants and animals."

Veronica grinned. "First off, there's always something new out in the wastes. Between the bombs, the chemical warfare, the biological warfare, and who knows what else, there's probably just as many species on the planet as there were before the war - except most of 'em are all new."

Julia stuck her tongue out at her friend, who continued undaunted. "That said, most travelers these days are pretty good at hunting Dowannano. Legend has it that the first Vault dweller emerged blinking into the wastes to try and find something to eat."

Veronica's grin widened in the firelight as she launched fully into her tale. "Vault dwellers, as a rule, tend not to be very good at hunting, nor at being hunted. They usually tend to trip and die, or get shot by a stray bullet, or caught and cooked by tribals, or-"

"Talked to death by smarmy scavengers?" Julia offered.

"Gosh, they should be so lucky!" Veronica said brightly. "Anyway, nobody told this guy that since he was the first. That's how he made it into town and decided to trade for food instead of going out to hunt. The townsfolk had never seen such a strange, blue man before. They were eager to learn about him and trade for the exotic goods he no doubt had on his person."

"By which you mean they were going to shank him and steal everything he had on him." Julia guessed.

"Hey, you are learning how things work out here!" Veronica applauded. "Hold your questions until the end though, please. Where was I… oh right, 'trading'. The Dweller was just as fascinated by the strange people out here under the sun as they were by him. Sadly, he was still really hungry, so he made his way over to a food vendor. Now, as everyone knows, the desert was home to some strange creatures even before the war, and as mentioned earlier, time has only proven that that which does not kill you only makes you stranger." Veronica punctuated the last word with a leer, before taking a moment to prod the fire and flip the meat.

"Most people figure out what's good to eat and what's not pretty quickly, but if you're cheap or just not picky, you can end up with a chunk of just about anything in your mouth. Oblivious to all of this context, the Dweller asked what the cheapest item the food cart guy had was. He handed over a skewer of meat, and the Dweller gobbled it right up. 'Hey,' he said. 'That's not bad! What is it?'"

Veronica leaned in close to deliver the last line. "'Dude,' the vendor said, shaking his head. 'You dowannano.'"

"It's a good thing you're good with computers," Julia said, failing to hide a smile. "That was awful!"

"Says you!" Veronica protested, sitting back with a grin. "My stand-up routines were the talk of the town back home."

"So that's why you're out here in the middle of nowhere!" Julia teased. "Do they still run people out of town on a rail, or was it more of a 'fire and brimstone' kind of place?"

Veronica leaned back against the wall, moving her face out of the firelight. "Used to be the 'exile' kind, but they're definitely more about fire from on high these days."

"Sorry," Julia said. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." Veronica said, looking away. "Just.. let's talk about something else?"

"Alright sure," Julia said, fishing for another topic. "Um.. how about telling me more about the Brotherhood? I still don't quite know what they're about, really, aside from the tech-grabbing and the knight stuff."

Veronica let out a short, sharp laugh. "Who does, these days?" Sighing, she continued. "Right, it's a new topic. How far back do you want to go?"

"The beginning, I suppose." Julia said. "If you know the story, I'd like to hear it."

"Right.." Veronica began. "According to the old stories, it all started with a soldier named Roger Maxson, right around the time of the Great War. His unit had been assigned to guard one of the government's really skeevy labs, and when he found out, he didn't take it very well. 'Shoot the guys responsible and go AWOL' style not-well. He and his soldiers holed up in a bunker until the rads died down and swore an oath that they would prevent technology from destroying the world again."

Julia felt a brief pang as the story's semi-lecturing tone reminded her incongruously ofher old teacher. Who'd have thought I'd end up missing Brotch the Crotch out here? She settled in for more story with a faint smile on her face.

"They cast off their old ranks and titles, since those were tied to the government that had betrayed the people, in their eyes. Maxson became the first Elder, and the others became Knights and Paladins and such. If you can't trust the world, and you can't trust your government, they said, then all you have left are your squadmates and your trusty weapons. Brothers and steel, you might say."

Veronica paused to flip the mystery meat over and rotate the beans before continuing.

"Sisters too, but I always assumed "Brother and Sisterhood of Steel" would have been too long to print on their business cards. Since then, they've made it their mission to catalog and store information about technology so that humanity can use it to rebuild, as well as keep it from causing too much trouble in the meantime."

"That sounds like a pretty good idea, actually." Julia noted. "So they're like super-librarians?"

"Welll, that's where it gets a little dicey." Veronica admitted. "Some of them think that's the essence of their mandate, and most of them also think it's a good idea to keep it all secret. Others see the Brotherhood as the only people who can be trusted with advanced technology, and go out to take it from those who have it, by force if necessary."

"That seems less nice." Julia said, spooning up some beans.

"That's two hundred years of ideological drift." Veronica said with a helpless little shrug. "After all, we know how to make more humans, but God forbid we forget how to make plasma rifles."

"Or shockswords?" Julia said with a conspicuous lack of guile and definitely not even a hint of a smirk.

"Could be that some technology is better off lost." Veronica pondered, smiling once more. "Now pass that Dowannano, it's always better before it gets too rubbery."

Saturday, September 29, 2277

4:42 PM

There was a palpable charge in the air as Veronica and Julia returned to the secluded plaza that sheltered Galaxy News Radio from several directions. An odd haze permeated the atmosphere, as well as an almost electric tingling. Dark clouds hovered impotently in the atmosphere, never discharging their moisture onto the land. Normally, Julia would have noted that and added the information to her ongoing what is wrong with the water cycle model. However, she was currently distracted by a far more important matter.

"Look, all I'm saying is that without his machine gun, the Silver Shroud is just a man like anyone else. There's no way he'd be able to stand up to Grognak's divine enhancements!"

Veronica, as it turns out, had some opinions about comic books.

"Oh sure, take the Shroud's gun away but leave Grognak's axe?" Julia shot back, rolling her eyes. "That's a good comparison. Why not go fight a cripple and crow about how you're the superior being?"

Julia was mostly okay with this, since arguing about comic books is their second most important purpose. The first, of course, being profit for the publishers.

"That's the whole point!" Veronica riposted. "Grognak is the divine champion of Krom the Blood God. No man can best him in combat, with or without the axe. The Silver Shroud is just some guy."

"Sure, if by 'just some guy' you mean the greatest detective on Earth. Honestly, you're kind of stacking the deck with the very premise. The Silver Shroud wouldn't get into a straight fight with Grognak, because that's not how he operates. He finds the perfect moment to appear, and then-" Julia then put on a distinctively gravelly voice. "Death comes for them.. And he is its shroud!"

"And that's another reason Grognak is better!" Veronica said, theatrically throwing up her hands. "He doesn't have a stupid catch phrase."

"What, 'GROGNAK SLASH' doesn't count?"

"That's not a catchphrase." Veronica said with a sniff. "It's a credo. It's his mission statement! Grognak need no fancy detectiving or bizarre not-Egyptian relics. Grognak need only axe. Grognak have purity of purpose. Grognak slash."

"Egyptian relics?" Julia said incredulously. "Now I KNOW you're not bringing the Mistress of Mystery into this, Veronica, because you kn-"

"Knight Stevens!" Veronica exclaimed as they reached the doors of GNR. "Am I glad to see you! Tell my friend here who would win in a fight - the Silver Shroud or Grognak the Barbarian?"

"I'm not allowed to have opinions about comic books while I'm on duty, Veronica." Stevens deadpanned through his power armor's speakers. "Besides, everyone knows the Shroud sees all."

"What did you just say, Stevens?" the guard beside him said, cocking her helmeted head at him.

"That wasn't an opinion, Syd." Stevens said, shrugging. "That's just a fact."

"Okay BOTH OF YOU need to have another look through the Book of Krom." Veronica said, jabbing a finger at Stevens before rounding on Julia. "And you-!"

"Both of you should get inside." Stevens interrupted. "Just got word from the border posts - muties inbound. Lots."

"We can't unseal the doors if there's muties coming and you know that!" Knight Syd snapped at him. "I'm sorry, Veronica, outsider, but you'll either need to run very quickly or help us defend the outpost."

Julia looked back over at Veronica. "Veronica? What do you think?"

The tinker mulled it over for a few seconds, visibly going over her options before shaking her head. "There's not really a good way out of here, and if GNR falls we don't get what we're after anyway. Besides, you could use some practice fighting Super Mutants."

"Super what?" Julia asked, readying her gun.

"Big, angry, hungry." Veronica said, leading her into cover. "They're pretty dumb, and their skin is tough, but they're generally no match for a prepared Brotherhood team, which we have here. Just keep your head down and try and learn as much as you can."

After a few tense, silent minutes of waiting and fidgeting, a number of inhuman voices came from around a corner.

"Bucketheads in here? Hope so. I hungry!"

"Smashie, smashie!"

Then seven giant green people came running into the plaza brandishing baseball bats, boards with nails in them, and some with automatic weapons. The leader was swiftly felled by a red bolt from one of the Knight's laser rifles, and then the fight was on.

The board and bat-wielding mutants charged in with wild abandon, zigzagging around and preventing the laser knights from getting clear shots, while the gun-toting mutants hung back and fired eagerly, if not particularly accurately, towards the defenders. Julia and Veronica hunkered down on the far side of the plaza, near the hulk of the station's long-defunct broadcast antenna.

"Should I shoot them, or…?" Julia trailed off while gesturing towards the growing green clusterfuffle before them.

Veronica shook her head. "That ten-millimeter of yours won't do much more than tickle a mutie's hide. Part of the reason they're so dangerous. You'd need a much bigger gun or some kind of energy weapon to make a real dent. They don't deal with raw energy nearly as well as they do small arms - setting one on fire works too, if you can manage it. Best move is to aim for soft targets otherwise - eyeballs, nose, mouth if you can."

"So what about-" Julia started before Veronica cut her off with an eye-roll.

"And yes, technically your new toy would work, assuming it does what it's advertised to." She gestured towards one of the remaining Supers. "All you have to do is close to melee range with an angry green giant and somehow manage to stick him with it. I'll wait here?"

"Okay fine," Julia said, shuddering. "That would be really stupid. I just don't like the idea of hiding while people risk their lives around me."

"That attitude will get you killed one day, Jules." Veronica said, patting her shoulder. "It's one of your better qualities. For now, consider it training of a sort - now you know how super mutant raids work. This is a pretty standard tactic for them, it works pretty well when they're not using it against the Brotherhood."

Another mutant hit the dirt as if to punctuate her point. "That.. doesn't make a lot of sense, though. Why would they use a tactic here that doesn't work against the Brotherhood?"

"The Frankensteins aren't usually known for their brains." Veronica said, pondering. "You're right though, they're not usually this dumb. Maybe they didn't know the Brotherhood was here?"

"They were yelling about 'bucketheads' on their way in." Julia countered. "That sure sounds like 'super mutant' for 'Knights' to me."

"I.. shit, you're right." Veronica said, looking increasingly worried. "Forman! Something about this seem weird to you?!"

"Only thing weird here is my kill count!" the knight crowed, unleashing a barrage of lead into the last mutant. "Scratch one more big green ugly!"

"No, she's right, Syd." Knight Stevens said, looking around warily and helping a fallen comrade back up. "That was too easy, even by mutie standards."

He jerked his head toward one of the less knocked-around guards. "Palmer! Check the perimeter!"

Before the wayward squire could get more than a few meters though, a great roar tore across the darkened sky, followed shortly by the wreck of a school bus flying through the air. It crashed against the main rank of knights, pinning them beneath several tons of rusted steel.

"SHIT." Knight Forman swore. "BEHEMOTH!"

Julia had thought the regular Super Mutants were large and intimidating. The monstrosity that came charging into the plaza made her wish they were back. Easily two stories tall, the Super Mutant Behemoth dwarfed its smaller cousins. It was clad in random junk such as car doors, shopping carts, and what looked like part of a train, serving as makeshift armor. In its hand was a length of municipal pipe capped by a fire hydrant, which the colossus was using as a mace. Knights struck by that makeshift weapon were sent flying, and did not get up again.

I will not call it a Super Duper Mutant, those would be the dumbest last words in all of history. Julia noted somewhat hysterically, still hiding. "Veronica, what do we do?"

"Nothing." Veronica said tonelessly, eyes wide as saucers. "That's a behemoth. Standard Brotherhood protocol in these cases is to use Fat Man shells until it stops moving and then avoid the crater for a few months for the rads to die down."

"You have portable nukes- no, not the time." Julia cut herself off. "What happens now?"

"Julia, I don't know." Veronica barely managed not to yell. "The only thing we know about behemoth raids are what happens afterward, because they don't leave survivors. They tear apart buildings, rip open power armor, and devour anything they can get their hands on. Behemoths are town-killers. That's why we nuke them."

Julia nodded slowly, more to herself than anything in particular. She noted the last few knights scrambling to get away, the gleeful expression on the behemoth's face as it chased one of them down before stomping, the thin facade of Three Dog's radio station. Never before had a building looked so fragile.

"Veronica?" Julia said in an oddly calm voice. "If this works, go save my dad."

"Wait what are you doing" Veronica said, turning back to grab her arm, but Julia was already moving.

"Something really stupid!" Julia called back, sprinting towards the hungry giant. "Hey, ugly! Your momma wears army boots!"

This is one of YOUR plans, isn't it? Brain asked on the way over.

Definitely. Instinct replied. But you helped too. Survival is part of my mandate, but it's not the ONLY instinct.

If you can't survive, may as well go out swinging? Brain asked sarcastically.

Or at least risk it all on something flashy. Instinct said, with what would have been a grin if it had a face. We may literally never get another chance.

At least tell me there IS a plan. Brain said resignedly.

Of course there is. Instinct cackled. Step one: Look delicious and unarmored.

The giant paused mid-stomp to check out the strange human waving her arms around, something glinting in her hand - whatever. Pointy stick things do nothing. Crunchy shelled humans were the tastiest, but so much work to get to. There was time for an easy snack, surely?

Step two: get picked up and aimed for snacking. Instinct continued.

Are you SURE one of your jobs is survival?! shrieked Brain.

A massive green hand reached down and closed around Julia's torso, lifting her skyward, her head and shoulders sticking out of the fist, arms resting on top. There was definitely a squeeze, but it wasn't crushing her just yet.

See? It prefers live prey. That's why it uses a blunt instrument - a slaying tool would kill everything on the first go. Instinct noted.

That is the OPPOSITE of reassuring. Brain said. How many conditions does this plan of yours rely on?

A few. Instinct admitted. But near as I can tell, if we fail any of them we're dead anyway. Time for step 3: raised to the mouth!

Ahh. Brain realized. I see what you're going for.

Julia found herself face to face with the massive creature. Its breath was like a thousand dead cows laid in front of a jet engine. As she got closer, she tensed herself to strike.

Last step, said Instinct.

"GO FOR THE EYES!" Julia screamed, driving her activated shocksword directly into the monster's eye socket.

Whatever power source the blade had must have been state of the art, as the giant's entire body convulsed with electrical energy. Staggering, the massive monster let loose an anguished roar that rattled the walls of the surrounding buildings, spooking dogs from Megaton to Girdershade. The behemoth finally dropped its snack and favorite club in order to claw at its face, trying in vain to pull the unfairly stingy pointy stick out of its eye, but only managing to stagger around blindly.

Unable to resist anymore, Veronica ran over to where her friend had landed. Through some quirk of fate, the behemoth had let her go while doubled over in pain, thus much closer to the ground than she might have been otherwise. That didn't do much for the squeezing or the electroshock or the rough landing though - Julia wasn't moving.

"Come on Jules, don't do this to me." she said, hysterically. "I can't -"

Whatever secrets Veronica was about to spill were interrupted by the maddened behemoth crashing into the rusted hulk of GNR's broadcast tower. Julia's sword flashed as bright as the sun for just long enough to light up the entire tower with the same coruscating energy that was tormenting the titan before exploding. But in that moment, a bolt of lightning screamed from the sky, impaling the behemoth's heart on a lance of pure electricity. Its corpse convulsed before lying still, and with a deafening crack of thunder, rain fell upon Chevy Chase, D.C. for the first time in human memory.

-0-

A/N: An update? What?! Many thanks to my faceless army of beta readers (you know who you are) and also to my degree program for releasing my creative energies.