Viii - But why do I always feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone

Professor Snape was usually in a foul mood. However, he was almost downright intolerable since start of term. Minerva McGonagall mused on this fact as she watched the younger colleague push his lunch around his plate with a fork as if the poor stewed potato had deeply offended him. Granted, the rest of the staff were a bit wary upon learning Remus Lupin's appointment to the DADAs vacancy, Severus was completely affronted! He did little to hide his displeasure in the fact. He was snappy and acerbic when conversing. Even though Severus did not hold his sharp sarcasm with her it was never in maliciousness.

No. This isn't only precipitated by Lupin's return to the school. Or his… unfortunate malady. A malady Snape had insisted he provide aide for in the interim of Lupin's tenure within the school walls. No, even the extra work of having to brew a finicky and time-consuming potion every month wouldn't have his buttons all in a bunch like this. Something else was up, she thought. She took a sip of her tea and pursed her lips and decided with herself to find out what was going on.

Before the man exploded all over some poor Hufflepuff.

Severus burst into his classroom laboratory, extinguishing the loudish idle chatter from his 3rd year double potions audience. Snakes and Lions. Why? Why place oil and water in such a volatile class together? He understood why some species ate their young while he taught this particular class. A sneer graced his face while silently glancing at the paired off tables from in front of his black board.

Potter and Weasley, unexpectantly, took the bench front and center of the class. Typically, since Snape's call out of Potter in his very first lesson, the two boys sat way in the back and out of line of Snape's fire as much as they could be. The spectacled child had his supplies and parchment laid out just so on the bench in front of him, mirroring the Granger girl's arrangement. Mouth closed, eyes ahead, quill in hand. Proper, primed...peculiar. Snape narrowed his gaze.

He's up to something.

With a flourish of his wand, a piece of chalk began to scrawl explicit instructions on the black board behind him for the Wiggenwald Potion. A minorly complex potion to wake up these summer sun drenched dunderhead's brains.

"Although I hope most of you would remember from last term that the Wiggenwald brew is a healing potion for minor injuries and ailments, can anyone tell me a second use for it?" Snape drawled the question with an air of blasé

As expected, the Granger girl's hand shot up. But then, so did Potter's. Granger looked as confuddled as Severus felt.

"Potter?" Snape ventured

"The Wiggenwald potion can also be used to reverse a sleeping potion or Draught of the Living Dead." Harry added "Sir." As an afterthought, Snape noted.

"Amazing." The professor drew up his eyebrows and folded his hands into the sleeves of his robes. "It seems you've decided to bother opening a book during your busy holiday, hm? What a pleasant surprise." He deadpanned trying to raise a reaction from the boy. A few stifled chuckles drifted over from the Slytherin tables.

"Yes, sir." No Bite.

"Perhaps you could grace us with some other knowledge. What are the two most important ingredients needed?"

Harry hesitated, but only for a moment "S-salamander Blood and Wiggen tree bark. But it must be fresh to work."

"And what specific ingredient in the sleeping draught will the salamander blood counter act?" Snape snapped, his jaw clenching afterwards.

This was an O.W.L. Level question that brought the need of some understanding of Alchemy into the subject. No way the little toerag would get this one. Granger would be hard pressed to answer even.

And Harry didn't answer right away this time. He looked down at his desktop with furrowed brows and an impressive frown. There! Severus stumped the arrogant little noodge. He was preparing an extraordinarily cutting remark for the haughty little imp when the unexpected tumbled from the boy's still maddeningly polite tongue.

"Valerian root. The Salamander blood counter acts the sedative effect of the Valerian root, sir."

That earned an astonished yet proud look from Granger and silence from the rest of the classroom. Weasley beside him, turning as red as his hair while trying to stifle a laugh. If Severus had any doubt the boy was playing at something, it was gone now.

Severus Snape lived in a world of constant irritation. The blasted brat was correct and there was no cheek. He could feel his eye twitch on its own accord.

"Why aren't any of you writing this down?!" He bellowed. Scratching of quills began immediately.

Valerian root. Snape scoffed to himself. This is going to be a long term.

"That was bloody brilliant, Harry! Did you see how mad Snape got when he realized you knew all the answers? He didn't even take points from you today." Ron gushed as they rushed towards Divination.

"Yeah, but I still got a zero for brewing the potion. I can feel the slime of those flobberworms now." Harry groused. "Next time, let me do the stirring, eh?"

"Yeah, alright. I suppose it Rosalie taught you proper methods anyway. Oh Merlin, are you sure she isn't Hermione from like, the future? Come back to make sure we study and don't blow up?"

"Don't be silly, Ronald. If I could travel in time, I wouldn't come back just to save your sorry skins again! I already do enough of that as it is!" Hermione appeared seemingly out of nowhere, her untamable curls bouncing with each step.

"WHER- How the bloody hell did you do that?!"

Harry laughed. It would be a good term.

Harry had barely kept Rosalie from bodily carting him off for home the night that, allegedly, Sirius Black ripped through the Gryffindor dorms. She looked absolutely livid as she stood in the middle of the headmaster's office. Her bright green scrubs matching almost perfectly with Dumbledore's night robe. She had a stethoscope hung loosely around her neck and Albert, who writhed anxiously around his staff, gripped tightly in her hands. She was probably pulled from St Philomena's to the castle in the middle of a shift, again, on Harry's account. He cringed. Was she missing work for him again? Generally speaking, Rose was able hold herself with a controlled composure and politeness brought on by her medical training, which could be considered a trial by fire for 8 years, and leftover behaviors from her early stint in a demanding finishing school as a child. Right now, though, she looked like one of her caldrons about to seethe over. Harry could see that vein in her forehead pulsate not unlike when the two of them were stuck in the ministry over the summer.

"I'm failing to understand what the advantage of the dementors prowling around if they can't even keep the mad man they were sent after out of the damned castle." Her voice was low and dangerous. She was right, in any case. The ministry had sent the foul creatures to hunt down the Azkaban escapee and had only successfully managed to traumatize several students and staff, Harry included! His thoughts went back to the train ride and the boggart from his lesson with Professor Lupin. A chill ran down his spine. Rose had armed him with the knowledge she knew of Black's story before sending him off to school this term. An action that he greatly appreciated. It was unusual for an adult in the know to let him in on this kind of information. Sirius Black was his parents' friend, something unknown set Voldemort on a war path against the Potters and they went into hiding, then for some reason Black had gone and betrayed James and his family to the dark lord and went on to kill another associate plus a large group of muggles. Now he seemed to be after Harry as to finish the job. Why now, though? Why not try to escape prison when Harry was younger and more vulnerable? Why break in when surely Black would have seen all the students out of the castle for Hogsmeade weekend? Something wasn't making sense. Rosalie's hand on his shoulder broke Harry from his musings.

"Hey kiddo, the professor requested he and I speak privately for a bit. I know everyone is sleeping in the great hall tonight as a precaution. Do you still want to stay here? All you need to do is ask and we can go back to the house."

"No, 'm fine. Really. I don't think he's dumb enough to attack when everyone's guard is up anyway. I don't want to leave Ron and Hermione in the dark either. It seems like… running away… if I leave now, y'know?" He tried to give a look of reassurance, even if he didn't feel it. Rose could tell though. She looked unconvinced but agreed with a deep sigh and a tired rub of her temples.

"Alright. But I'm warning you, anything else happens and I'll be on you like stink on a troll. Do not roll your eyes! I'm serious!" Her stern face softened slightly as she lifted a hand to cart through Harry's wry mess of hair briefly lifting his ever long fringe to expose his lightening bolt scar "Merlin, you need a haircut. Looks like a an overgrown Puffskein." She murmured.

Harry upturned his lips. He hadn't seen Rose since beginning of term in person and had worried that the novelty of having a 13-year-old kid you were suddenly responsible for had worn off. She was here, however, in the headmaster's office, pulled from work, dealing with decidedly "Harry Potter Sized Problems" and she was defusing the situation by ragging on the appearance of his hair. The teen in him should have felt annoyed, but instead he just felt warmth in his chest. Because isn't this part of having a guardian who gave a damn, wasn't it?

Rose's smile faltered. "Listen, I'm not sure I want you to go back to Hogsmeade before the winter break." Harry's smile fell as well, and he seemed about to rebut. "Wait! Come on, kiddo. You havta agree that it's dangerous right now. Please don't argue with me on this." Both were near pouting now.

"May I chime in with a possible solution? One that may satisfy all parties?" Rose side glanced towards the headmaster, his blue eyes twinkling brightly behind halfmoon glasses "What if you were to chaperone the students into Hogsmeade? Discreetly, of course. We will already have a few staff members on the ground. You could simply tag along with the faculty." He smiled and shrugged in nonchalance.

Rose opened and closed her mouth a few times trying to come up with something to say at being surprised by the old man's meddling.

"I wouldn't mind." Harry pipped in, looking surprisingly chipper at the suggestion "It's better than not being able to go at all!" Besides, he would simply take along his invisibility cloak, just in case. He hadn't divulged his ownership of it to Rosalie yet. Evasion of any babyish hand holding, or nervous hovering would be easy with a quick woosh of the cloak. (Especially when he would have to pick up her Christmas gift which was really all he needed to do in town anyway) Rose eyed both suspiciously, eyebrows knitted together.

The sound of stone gargoyle grinding in the entry way brought pause to the conversation, and Rose watched as Madam Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall, a dour looking Severus Snape and, much to her shock, Remus Lupin filed into the office. The room suddenly becoming cramped not just by bodies, but by a strange tension. Dumbledore seemed unfazed. "Ah! Wonderful timing. Poppy, would you please escort Mr. Potter to the Great Hall so he can settle in for the night? Thank you."

"Rose, please?" Harry implored. And Rose, put on the spot, caved. "Okay, okay! I'll see you then." She squeezed his shoulder as she pushed him towards Poppy. Harry smiled a real smile, the one that made her heart melt every time. Damn kid. She shook her head as he disappeared beyond the gargoyle.

Attention was drawn back by 5 garish albeit comfortable looking chairs popping into existence and placed neatly in a circle. Who did Albus think he was? King Arthur? Next, they would be gathered at a round table discussing deeds of daring against the Goblin King. David Bowie's Magic Dance began to refrain in her head. Rose was tired at this point and way beyond how she arrived sitting in this weird little circle in the middle of the evening when she should be finishing her charts or, God forbid, crawling to bed after her 14-hour shift. Caffeine would be welcome right now that her adrenaline had subsided.

Instead of the aforementioned caffeine in the form of tea or coffee, Albus produced 5 glass tumblers and an extremely old, weathered bottle of amber liquid. "Elvish Brandy, 150year bottle. I think we could all use a bit of something after this ragged evening." He began to pour measures and indicated for each to sit in a chair. Apparently, this would not be a short conversation. Rose waved her hand to stop him from pouring for her. "Thank you, but no thank you." Dumbledore raised a questioning eyebrow. "I don't drink." She added.

"Well, I had hoped to see you again, Rose, after our last chat. I had hoped it would be under more pleasant circumstances, but…" Minerva greeted with a warm smile and a small shrug as she sat in her chair. She took a small sip of her drink. "You'll have to excuse my appearance. I was halfway into bed when the prefects called out." Indeed, she had on a house robe over a warm looking flannel night dress. Her silver streaked hair plaited for bed and covered with a green and black tartan night bonnet. She looked more human than Rosalie had ever seen her.

"Of course, Professor. I'm not exactly in my best either." Indicating towards her now creased uniform indicative of a busy shift.

"A-Spose' you could sa' you all look like sumtin' the Cat drug in, wot? Ahahha! An wot are you lookin' at, yuh great dun'gen bat?" Albert couldn't hold his tongue any longer prompting Rose to abruptly stand up and plunge her staff head first into an oddly ornate umbrella holder by the door. "That was uncalled for, and I am certainly not in the mood." Rose hissed so only Albert could hear. "I apologize for him." She glanced up from her ducked head to see a stone cold gaze from Severus that was quickly averted. They had left on such bad terms at their last meeting.

"Heheh, he's a cheeky little thing! Very amusing piece! You must tell me how you came upon such a staff." Dumbledore sat finally, eyes aglow and stroking his long white beard with his free hand. He took a sip from his glass.

"Headmaster, if we could skip the pleasantries and small talk, I'd like to know what we are all here for?" He spared a split second glance at Rose at the 'ALL'. It was not unnoticed by Minerva, who's interest had been piqued.

"Of course, Severus, down to business." Dumbledore laid out his plans for increased wards and protections around the castle for the rest of the year, a step up in hall patrols by staff, and an extra credit project for Remus to teach his top upper classmen in DADA a protection charm to ward off the Dementors if they happened to close to the castle.

"The Patronus Charm is an advanced magic, and I am aware that not every witch or wizard can cast it properly." Albus explained "However, I do believe a certain few will have no problems in learning." Remus nodded. Rose had never seen a Patronus cast. There are no dementors in the States, so it was not taught to Ilvermorny students, although she had certainly read about the charm in passing.

"And the reason for Dr. Novack's presence?" Snape drew out languidly, as though her being there annoyed him. Rose narrowed her eyes and Minerva once again watched the exchange in silence. Ah, Severus, making friends everywhere he goes. She snorted to herself.

"Ah, yes, we talked of the plan for the next Hogsmeade weekend. I do not believe we can take liberties from the students who wish to go, and we will plan accordingly with our heads of house chaperoning as we did today. However, Pamona and Minerva have already given plans to leave for the holidays once exams are finished and will not be able to do so. That is why I have Professor Lupin and Dr. Novack here tonight. Dr Novack has already agreed to watch over the happenings during the outing. So, I will have Rosalie and Severus keep watch on one side of the village and Filus and Remus on the other." The Headmaster cheerily stated as if this were the most natural idea in the world.

Severus glared at Albus. Remus looked on bemused. Rose's eyes darted between all of them, feeling a certain level of betrayal by Minerva for inadvertently causing this situation, even if she had no idea this was going to happen. Minerva, on the other hand, studied everyone with silent consideration. Things just became interesting!

"You can not be serious, Albus! She isn't a staff member. Surely, you would not have just anyone, unvetted to boot, just take the reins in watching over unruly teenagers hours before leaving for holiday break?!" Severus stood abruptly, gesturing indignantly to Rosalie.

"She is a concerned party with great stock in the situation, and a Doctor of Pediatrics. I believe she will be able to mind the children just fine. At least we won't have to worry about any first aid concerns." Albus tutted.

"What of her defensive skills? Can she be counted on to act accordingly if an attack were to occur?"

"SHE is right next to you, Severus Snape! I can handle myself just fine, thank you very much! And I do not appreciate being spoken of as if I weren't in the same room! That applies to both of you." She indicated to both Dumbledore and Snape.

A muffled "ADAGURL!" was heard from the nearby umbrella stand.

"My apologies, dear girl. That was rude of me, and I believe the two of us should be on good terms, if only for Harry's sake." Albus tipped his head. Sneaky of him to invoke the boy.

"I'm sorry for the ignorance, but what have you to do with Harry?" Remus entered the conversation calmly and politely.

"I happen to be his… uhm," Rose started with a bite then deflated a bit. Guardian? She thought on it. The term seemed so clinical and matter-of-fact. She hadn't had to say it out loud before either. "…family." She settled on that term. "Besides, what is it to you, Lupin?" Her anger returning somewhat. She was tired of being under the microscope her like some unidentifiable specimen. This whole thing was surreal. "I don't remember hearing about your appointment to staff this year. I do hope you are taking care of yourself. Those chronic issues can leave you howling for relief."

Minerva choked on her drink.

"That is certainly none of your business! I'm sorry, do I know you? Have we met?" Remus was out of his chair now.

"Multiple times, but you, Potter and Black had your heads so in each other's caldrons that I doubt you even realized I was around, but dear sweet Lily talked to me about everything! How do I know you aren't working with your old chum to get into the castle?!" Rose stood now, arms crossed and near nose to nose with Lupin.

"How about because I was the one who told Albus and Snape about Black being able to turn into a dog! He's an animagus!" He waved his arms wildly

"Appropriate, a wolf and a dog. Quite a little pack, eh?"

Severus stifled a snort at this. Leave it to Rosalie to continue to bite back at the lone Marauder and say everything he wanted to.

"So you knew Lily." It was a statement, not a question.

"She was my cousin."

"Now that is quite enough, children." Dumbledore once again tutted. "We are all working for the same goal; To protect Harry and the other students from the ever present danger we seem to find ourselves in anymore. So, if we are quite finished re-hashing past foibles and trespasses, we can finalize the details. I would like to break you into pairs. Severus, I will have you patrol the perimeters of Hogsmeade with Dr. Novack. Remus, I will have you keep an eye on the center of town with Filus. Can we all be adults…" He leveled a pointed stare at the younger three. "…and agree to the plan?"

Remus nodded. "I agree."

Severus drug an icy stare at Rosalie down his nose. "Fine." And began to walk towards the door.

"Well, fine!" she called after his back, arms crossed.

"Fine!" he called back again.

"Double fine!"

Minerva mumbled into her glass. "Splendid, Albus. I'm so glad I'll be away for the Holidays."

A/N:

In which Snape is a bastard for no reason, right?

Cheeky Harry is best Harry.

Rose kinda sorta wants to poke Albus in the eye.

Minnie loves a good meddling.

** I wanted to get the this and another chapter out before Christmas, but that didn't work out. Next is a little action.