A/N: Thank you for the love! Please review!!
"Noah what's your malfunction," Dickie asked his younger brother as he watched him pace back and forth.
"Nothing," he muttered, shaking his head, lost in thought.
When he turned the next time, he ran straight into Carl who lifted him over his shoulder and brought him into his room with the boys, much to his sisters amusement.
They plopped him on his bed and sat on the ledge of Eli's loft, staring at him.
He groaned. "I don't wanna be a bad big brother. What if he doesn't like me?"
The two older men tried to keep it together but started laughing. Noah laid back in embarrassment and Eli smacked them both, laying beside his little brother.
"Guys, go," he said, flipping them off as they left and laying quietly with Noah.
"Can I tell you a story?" He asked, turning his head to look at his little brother.
Noah nodded.
"When I met you I was terrified. I just knew you were mom's kid, and that you in some distant way were already so important to dad. And I was terrified of messing that up and making him upset, or having you not like me," he looked at him and Noah nodded for him to continue.
"But then I met you. And we played soccer together at school that day we were supposed to have dinner and officially meet. And the minute you ran up to me after seeing Stabler on my jersey and introduced yourself as Benson, like all my fear went away. It was just easy, like I'd known you forever and was meant to protect you and teach you and it was the most awesome feeling," he paused and nodded. "We were meant to be brothers, and I think when we meet this little guy you'll feel the same way about him that I felt about you."
Noah's lip quivered and he rolled into his brothers chest, hugging him tightly. "I love you Eli," Noah said softly.
"I love you more, brother."
There was a soft knock on their door, and El and Liv who'd been listening to the whole spiel, peaked in. "Hey… we're home," she whispered, holding a tiny bundle in her arms.
The boys both smiled and El looked at them, "I think we're going to have you guys meet him in here first okay?" He asked softly and they nodded.
Liv walked in slowly, sitting in the bed with them and smiling small and tilting the little boy towards them. "Daddy and I talked about a name but we wanted to see what you guys thought of it?"
They both nodded, Noah's eyes attached to the little boy in his mom's arms.
"So we wanted to do an N name… so we like Nathaniel John… John after Uncle Munch. What do you think?"
"I love it…" Noah whispered and Eli smiled down at him. "Yeah there's so many nicknames. Nathan. Nate. Nater."
Noah gasped, "I like Nater!"
Liv chuckled and looked up at El with a smile. "You guys wanna hold him?" He asked Noah hesitated. "I'll wait… I don't wanna hurt him.."
"You won't," Eli said, gently taking him from Liv. "But... he's tiny…" he retorted.
Liv nodded. "He's malnourished. But, he's healthy in every other way. He's gonna be on a strict feeding schedule with special formula until we get his weight up. Dad and I are gonna take a few weeks of working from home as much as we can," she said, watching her boys look at Nathan.
El sat on the bed beside Liv and put his hand on the small of her back, kissing her shoulder. She leaned into him lightly and Eli looked at Noah.
"Want me to help you hold him buddy?" He asked and Noah took a deep breath, giving him an unsure look before nodding.
Handing the little one back to Liv, he leaned against the wall and motioned for Noah to sit between his legs, positioning their arms in a cradle. He nodded for Liv to hand Nate back, and she did.
Tears rushed to her eyes as she heard Noah gasp softly once the baby was settled into their arms, and El snapped a few photos.
"This is wild," Noah whispered and Eli nodded. "That's our little brother, man," he said with a smile in his voice.
The Bros eventually went to kick the soccer ball around on the patio while the older kids sat chatting with Liv and Elliot.
Liv was lounged back on the sectional with Nate sleeping peacefully on her chest.
"So what's the chances of adoption?" Katie asked gently and Liv sighed softly, leaning into El.
"His grandfather was the one who was trafficking- mother's father. His father's family was all drug addicted, too, so they're out. We basically have to get the parents to sign away their rights. The father is fine with it but the mother suffers from mental illness on top of the addiction, and thinks she's going to get out tomorrow and be a happy family with the father."
El nodded and sighed. "Trevor said that she didn't even remember giving birth."
Mo shook her head, putting a hand on her forehead. "How the hell."
"I don't understand how you do this, Liv," Lizzie sighed.
"It's so much more personal with this one, so it's been a little tougher. But having him here has been a relief… I just don't want to get our hopes up."
"Yeah we've been struggling with referring to us as mom and dad or not," El said cautiously and Dickie shook his head. "I think you should do it. He needs consistency and so do those, two," he nodded outside to his brothers.
"He's probably right," Liv commented thoughtfully, looking up to El who couldn't hide his smile.
The little boy whimpered and El reached for his bottle on the side table. "You wanna try and get him to finish eating, daddy?" She whispered and El's grin grew.
"Would love to," he smiled and she sat up slowly, gently passing him over. "Go see daddy buddy…"
Katie blinked away tears and Lizzie sniffled. "I love you guys," Mo said through a laugh and Liv chuckled.
"We love you… guys thank you… so much for accepting this and him… it's really special," Liv nodded and they all offered some form of "of course" and "don't mention it".
When the kids left, Noah and Eli took their showers and hung out in their room a bit while El and Liv laid in bed with Nate between them.
"First night with a new born," Liv whispered. "You excited?"
He looked up and her and smiled. "Actually… yeah I am."
"You have to put his bassinet together," Liv chuckled, nodding to the box they'd gotten earlier that morning.
"I know but I don't want to stop looking at him," he said with a smile as she giggled.
"Thought we could go shopping tomorrow? We can get a carrier first so that we don't have to bring the stroller."
He smiled and nodded. "I guess we can wait on changing table and stuff but… we need everything else."
She nodded taking a deep breath.
"Don't go there in your brain Livia," he said, leaning over to kiss her. "He's gonna be ours."
Giving an encouraging smiled, she kissed him back as her alarm buzzed to feed Nate.
"Feed him and I'll get the boys to start helping me put this together."
She fed him and watched the boys start building the crib. When he was done, Noah , who'd been itching to hold Nate, eyed them nervously.
"Noah, can you come hold Nate while I shower?" She asked cautiously and he looked to the Elliot's who gave an encouraging nod.
"M-maybe I'll just lay next to him…" he whispered and she nodded.
"That's fine baby… if you want pick him up, just make sure you support his neck okay?" She said and showed him how to lift him.
He smiled and laid next to him while Liv went to shower. When she came back in her bathrobe with a towel on her head, she stopped short seeing Noah was the baby nuzzled against his chest.
Eli and El were finishing up the bassinet.
"Just about done, mom," Eli said casually, before stopping and shaking his head quickly, ignoring what he just said and stuttering a bit. "Uh I'm gonna go get some water," he muttered, sprinting off to the living room.
Nate sighed in his sleep and Noah rolled his eyes. "That's how I feel about that situation, too, buddy."
El chuckled and Liv shook her head at them, mouthing a "be nice," before going out into the kitchen where Eli was bent over the sink.
"Buddy…" she said, gently rubbing his back.
"Sorry," he whispered with a sigh. "Lost myself a second in there," he sighed and she shook her head.
"Nothing to be sorry for. You can call me whatever you want. I don't care either way. I just care about your happiness," she smiled, giving his arm a squeeze. "Thank you for helping build the bassinet. We owe you one," she winked before walking back to the room.
El was helping Noah set Nate down and smiled at him. "You're really catching on man, I'm so proud of you!"
He leaned against him and sighed happily. "Thanks daddy."
"Alright sweet boy… time for bed," Liv said with a smile and kiss to his head. "Go ahead and get Eli, and dad and I will be in in a second to say prayers."
Nodding quickly, he sprinted into his room and El pulled her close by her waist as they looked down at their baby boy.
"He's perfect," she whispered and he nodded. "Our boy."
"Can you believe it?" She asked and he shook his head. "Not really," he said with a bright smile.
"Should we take him in for prayers and stuff," she asked and El nodded. "Definitely… he's one of the boys," he said proudly.
Liv beamed and lifted him slowly, cradling him against her chest as they walked to their boy's room.
"I want dad," Noah announced and Eli laughed, shaking his head.
"Dibs on Liv," he teased and she laughed. "Thanks honey," she smiled, sitting beside him.
Elliot curled with Noah and the family all said their prayers.
"Dad will you lay with me for a little?" Noah asked and El nodded. "Yeah bud, whatever you need," he whispered, kissing his cheek.
Liv kissed Eli goodnight before moving to Noah. "Love you sweet boy. You okay?"
He nodded. "Just want some dad time."
"Okay," she whispered, her eyes filling with watery tears of pure love for her little boy and husband as they snuggled together.
Liv took Nate back to bed, fed him, and curled up under their heavy and warm blankets, facing the bassinet.
She opened her eyes when she felt El curl behind her and rest his head behind her's on the pillow. "Sorry to wake you," he whispered and she shook her head. "Hmm It's okay," she nodded, snuggling backwards into him.
"He eats in two hours… I'll get this one so you can sleep a bit."
"Sounds perfect," she whispered, craning her neck back to kiss him. "Noh okay?"
"Mhm… just needed some dad cuddles."
"Such a daddy's boy," she teased and he snuggled her a bit tighter. "It's the best," he whispered and she grinned.
"You're the best."
The pair woke together to feed Nate at both of his three hour intervals.
It was Liv's turn around 4am, and she sat in El's arms, with the baby boy in her own as she fed him.
El snapped a few photos when he yawned around his bottle and Liv giggled softly.
"Elliot we have a baby…" she said in awe and he squeezed her gently. "I know.."
They both looked up when they heard a rustle in the hall, followed by Noah's clouded figure pressed again the door.
Blanket and stuff elephant in hand, he opened the door slowly a hair, waiting to be told to knock, but wasnt.
Peaking his head in, he gave a sleepy smile, shuffling to Elliot's side of the bed and climbing in to cuddle him.
"Did we wake you?" Liv asked him gently and he shook his head. "Just woke up and wanted daddy."
Liv frowned a little, both from concern and jealousy. "Noah… is everything okay?"
He nodded quickly, but sighed and shook his head. "Just wanna make sure the new baby doesn't change how much you guys love me," he whispered.
Both parents gasped and El wrapped him in a massive bear hug. "Noah Porter," he admonished lovingly. "Don't you ever, ever think that me and momma could ever love you any less… please buddy. You're still our little boy."
Burying his face in his dads chest, tears sprung to his eyes and he nodded. "I really love Nate a-already but I just got nervous and couldn't sleep…" he said softly.
"Sweet boy you never need to worry. We're your mommy and daddy and we'll do everything and anything for you, and nothing we could do to would ever make us love you less," Liv said, putting a free hand on his back.
He nodded and rubbed his face against El's shoulder to wipe his tears, before turning to look at her. "I love you mommy," he said, lip quivering.
Liv teared up now, too, and leaned over to peck his cheek. "I love you baby boy… so much."
"And I love you more than your mom loves you," El teased, causing Noah to giggle and Liv to smack him gently. "You wanna sleep in here until school?" El asked and he nodded, settling in further to his dad's arms.
"Can we take the day off," he asked sweetly and they both laughed and looked at each other. "Let's see what Eli says when he wakes up," Liv smiled and Noah nodded, closing his eyes and quickly falling to sleep.
She finished feeding Nate, burped him, and set him back down in his bassinet before turning to face El with a pout.
"Kathleen went through it when the twins were born and Mo when Kathleen was born. It's normal baby," he whispered, encouragingly, giving her a kiss on the head.
Her mind was spinning and he knew it.
Sinking down a bit more and readjusting Noah, he kissed her lips. "Liv… you trust me?"
"Of course," she whispered and he nodded, kissing her again. "He'll be okay. I want you to sleep in with Noah. I'll get up with Nater and tell Eli he can stay home if he wants. Might be good to have a long weekend with them, yeah?"
She nodded and kissed him. "You're the best dad, Elliot."
"35 years of practice," he teased and she smiled, kissing him again before closing her eyes.
El's alarm went off at 6 to feed Nate and he quietly slipped from Noah and Liv's grasp.
She nuzzled closer to her little boy, turning her head to look at Elliot lift the baby up against his chest.
"Hi bud…" he whispered as he whimpered softly, "sh sh sh… it's daddy. Daddy's got you. Come on, let's go make your bottle and see if big brother wants to stay home from school huh?"
Liv couldn't help but smile.
"And we gotta let mama get back to sleep," he said, causing Liv to breath out a chuckle and snuggle into Noah.
Elliot made his way into the kitchen, grabbed one of Nater's bottles from the fridge, and ran it under warm water, rocking with him gently.
Eli slowly made his way out of his room, yawning and rubbing his eyes.
"Hey buddy," El smiled small.
"Hi dad," he yawned, walking over and kissing the baby's head. "Hi bro."
Elliot grinned, looking between his boys and Eli chuckled.
"What?" He asked, and El shook his head. "Nothing… just proud of you. You went from the youngest to a big brother of two, and you're the best big brother."
"Thanks dad," he smiled proudly and El nodded. "Noah requested to stay home from school. You in?"
"Is that even a question," Eli laughed and nodded. "Hell yes."
Elliot laughed and nodded. "Figured."
"Can I?" He asked, nodding to Nate.
His dad smiled proudly. "Is that even a question," he mimicked, passing him over, "hell yes."
He chuckled and curled on the couch, cradling the baby and feeding him. "Noh okay?" He asked his dad and he nodded.
"Just worried we won't love him as much. Every first time big sibling goes through it."
"Yeah," he chuckled, "I told him when he woke up that mom and dad loved him so much and not to worry. I take it he came in and snuggled."
"Mhm," El chuckled. "Mom was all worried and stuff but calmed him down. Trying to let them sleep, and might go back to bed myself once this guy is done eating and has a fresh diaper."
"Ditto," he chuckled. "When is your first hearing for him?"
"Next week," he sighed. "Mom's… Liv's nervous."
"I know what you mean and how you mean it," he chuckled a bit. "It's okay…"
El nodded. "Thanks, son."
"You know, I think everything is gonna be just fine with the hearings," Eli said with a nod, "and not just cause grandma said so," he teased.
"I hope you're right buddy… it's been less than 24 hours and I already can't imagine not having this boy in our family."
The following week, El and Liv walked into court with Nate in his wrap carrier, pressed snuggly against Liv's chest.
"You guys look awful," Trevor teased them with a smile, putting his hand on the tiny bundle against Liv's chest.
"When's the last time you had a newborn at home? It's rough," Elliot teased with a smile.
"How's he doing?"
"Really good… gaining weight, sleeping well…" he nodded.
"Loving cuddling those big brothers and daddy," Liv smiled, looking up at Elliot.
"I love that for you guys… I'm hoping we can make some progress today."
"Us too," Liv sighed with a nod.
They took their seats and Judge Linden came out to the bench.
"Mr. Johnson. Where are your clients today?" She asked Nathan's biological parent's attorney.
"Well judge, I regret to inform the court today that Baby Doe's father was killed in a prison fight last night, and his mother is currently in the infirmary from an overdose."
Liv gasped, reaching for El's hand.
"Baby Doe's name is Nathaniel," Trevor clarified and Johnson shook his head. "Listen… I don't want to be against you all and I do agree that the Stablers are the better family for that baby, but my hands are tied until my client makes a move."
"So convince her," Trevor sighed and he shook his head. "It's not that easy and you know it."
"Judge," Trevor looked up at Judge Linden, "I mean come on…"
"Mr. Langan, while I agree with you and have a special place in my heart for the Stablers, I am obligated to follow the law in this and all other scenarios. We will reconvene in an effort to have the biological mother here at the next hearing. Three weeks, Mr. Johnson?"
"We'll try," he nodded.
Liv shook her head and sighed, rubbing Nates back as he started to whimper.
"I'm gonna go feed him," she whispered to El, rushing from the court room after Linden recessed the case.
"Go," Trevor nodded at him with a small smile, and he rushed after her.
She was sat outside of the courtroom with tears in her eyes, cradling Nate and shaking his bottle.
"Hey," he said softly, sitting next to her.
"Hi…" she mumbled, her lip quivering.
He wrapped an arm around her as she put the bottle in the hungry baby's mouth, finally losing her resolve and letting a few tears fall.
"You're okay… you're okay… he's okay and he's gonna be ours. I promise. I just know."
She nodded quickly and wiped her eyes. "I don't know what I'll do if we lose him, Elliot…"
"I know… I know Liv, but we won't."
"You can't promise that…"
"I know but… I just have a feeling. Eli and Mama do, too."
"And mama is never wrong," she laughed softly and El nodded. "Exactly. Cmon… let's finish feeding him and get home."
Langan and Johnson watched from the other end of the hall. Langan looked over at his colleague who sighed and nodded. "I'll work on it."