Reversal of Fortune: Chapter 8: The Art of Retrieval

(Time Skip: 4:00 PM)

As the end-of-day bell rang, Clyde asked Lincoln, "Jheeze, bro, ya gwannin' back to the beach for a fuckin' squirrel suit, my guy?"

Lincoln groaned, "What choice do I have? If I ever want to be around those 'waste girls' again, I'm probably going to need it. We might have avoided them today, but we're not going to be able to avoid them forever, Clyde. We go to the same school, and unless Principal Huggins can… I don't know, get me transferred as an exchange student across the border, that's probably not going to change."

Clyde nodded, "Ahlie, styll."

As Clyde and Lincoln met Paige in the hallway, the trio heard Lindsay yell at them, "LINCOLN! PAIGE!" Lindsay, who also noticed the crowd of grinning girls behind Lincoln, Clyde, and Paige, immediately shook her fist and screamed at them, "AND GET AWAY FROM US, YOU STUPID GIRLS!" Lindsay's scream caused the girls to immediately scream and scatter away.

After seeing Lincoln and Paige, Lindsay pulled them in, whispering, "Remember the plan! Becky's picking us up just beyond the park at the back of the school!"

Paige reminded Lindsay, "I can't. I have detention."

Lindsay said, "The fight with Ronnie Anne, right?"

Paige gasped, "How'd you hear about that?"

Lindsay scoffed, "Me not hearing about all the latest gossip? At our school? Please," before asking, "How come you only got detention? Don't kids normally get suspended for fights?"

Paige nodded, "Yeah, but Mom, Dad, and I managed to convince the principal to let me get off with detention."

Lindsay exhaled, "Phew, that's a relief," before smiling at Paige, "Well, see you at home tonight!"

Paige waved goodbye at Lindsay before chirping, "Well, I've gotta go! I'm runinng late! Bye, Clyde! Bye, Lincoln!" Lincoln, Clyde, and Lindsay waved goodbye to Lincoln before continuing to walk to the back exit of the school.

Lincoln also asked, "Wait, only detention? But how...", before Lindsay interrupted him, "The school knows who our parents are."

Lincoln mused, "Oh. Makes sense," before Clyde asked, "Wait, the Sweetwater dukes? What is she saying?"

Lincoln told Clyde, "It's a long story. I'll tell you later."

Clyde nodded, "Szeen."

Once Lincoln, Clyde, and Lindsay reached the back exit of the school, they quickly scanned their surroundings for Loud sisters. When they didn't see any, they sighed in relief.

Clyde then looked back to a crowd of girls in the distance that included Emma and Rachel, and pointing at them, he bid Lincoln and Lindsay goodbye, "Yo, Ima go game these baddies, but stay bless, fam."

Lincoln and Lindsay laughed, "Peace out, Clyde," flashing him a peace sign while walking off into the park.

Lincoln then whispered to Paige, "Ok, so on Maple, beyond the park… that's where Becky should be picking me up?"

Lindsay confirmed, "Yes," as the two set off for Maple Street.

When Lincoln got onto Maple Street, he saw Becky's car parked right next to the front lawn of the first house beyond the school. Becky honked at Lincoln and Lindsay to signal them to get in while impatiently drumming her fingers on the driver seat's windowsill. Again, Lincoln rode shotgun while Lindsay rode in the back of the car. After Becky set her phone's GPS for Huron Beach, the trio took off.

As the three of them started driving to Huron Beach, Becky slyly smiled at Lincoln with barely contained glee in her eyes, "So Paige…"

Lincoln interrupted, "Yup."

Becky and Lindsay excitedly squealed at the top of their lungs until the next red light, forcing Lincoln to cover his ears. He looked out the window and groaned to himself, ah shit, here we go again.

Once they stopped at the intersection of Maple and Bloom, Becky pinched Lincoln's cheek while cheering, "I knew it!"

Lindsay shrilled, "LINKY… CONGRATULATIONS!"

Lincoln asked, "Congratulations?! About what?!"

Becky teased, "Linkyyyy… Paige defending you from Ronnie Anne?! That only ever means one thing… she likes you!" After that, Becky and Lindsay delightedly and loudly squealed, causing a motorist behind them to honk her horn and flip them off. However, not even that could distract Becky and Lindsay from their delight.

Before Lincoln could respond, Lindsay also teased, "And don't think we don't know about your widduh crush on Paige. Even if you didn't tell us everything, believe me: she told us months ago!" Following that, Becky and Lindsay squealed again for another few seconds.

Lincoln blushed and looked down before unconvincingly stuttering, "W-what?! That's RIDICULOUS! I don't like Paige like that! Why would she tell you that I do?", before gasping after realizing what he had said.

Becky and Lindsay toothily grinned at Lincoln, "Mm-hmmm," before giggling. Becky then gushed, "Aww… Linky… you're so adorable when you're in love!", while pinching and kissing him on the cheek. She then excitedly panted, "Lincoln… when this is all over, you have to ask her out! I'll pay for everything at Gus' Games and Grub!"

Lindsay dramatically cheered, "The gallant knight in white asking his brave princess' hand in marriage… can you even?!", to which Becky and Lindsay squealed again.

Lincoln yelled at Becky and Lindsay, "M-marriage?! If you don't stop this right now, I am jumping out of this car and walking back home…", before immediately changing his tone after fully taking in Becky's offer, "Wait, free Gus' Games and Grub?"

Becky smirked, "Uh-huh. And we'll leave you all al-oooone while you spend time with your precious Paige!"

Lindsay cheered, "And when you two get the high score on Dance Battle, you two can put your initials together and kisssss!", before making kissy-kissy noises.

When Becky saw Lincoln grow irritated, she exclaimed, "And before you say anything, a little birdie told us exactly what you said to Ronnie Anne in the office! So we take it that you're available!", after which Becky and Lindsay squealed again.

After realizing Becky and Lindsay were thinking about what both Lincoln and Paige liked as opposed to just what Paige liked, Lincoln smirked back, "Well… I guess for free Gus' Games and Grub… and only for the free Gus' Games and Grub, I'll see what happens with Paige."

Becky and Lindsay flashed toothy smiles at Lincoln before squealing for another two minutes, forcing Lincoln to cover his ears yet again.

(Time Skip: 1 Hour Later)

Once Becky pulled up to the Huron Beach entrance, she held Lincoln by the shoulders and told him, "Lincoln, you know what you need to do. If you find the squirrel suit, great. If you don't, we understand. And if you're having a hard time… just give us a yell."

Lincoln said, "OK!"

Becky cheered, "Great!", before kissing him on the cheek and wishing him, "See ya, Little Ace!"

As Lincoln shuffled his way out of the car and waved to Becky and Lindsay, Lindsay also smiled and waved, "Bye, Linky!"

When Lincoln opened the door to Huron Beach's entrance shack, he spotted a cute fair-skinned girl with a blonde ponytail working the register. Upon seeing her, Lincoln blushed, "Buh… buh… buh." The girl giggled before smirking at Lincoln, "Hi, hun. You here to have fun today?"

Lincoln blushed while stammering, "Err… ummm… no. I just needed to go to the bathroom, Ma'am. It took an hour for me to get here, and it's probably gonna take longer for me to get back."

The blonde assured Lincoln, "Well, of course, sweetie. Just take as much time as you need."

After Lincoln did his business and washed his hands, he dug through the garbage can before finding the squirrel mascot suit. Upon grasping the suit, he noticed that it looked dirty, felt icky and wet, and smelled horrendously bad. The suit's condition was caused by the smell and stains left behind by the garbage that lied on top of it, combined with the smells of the bathroom and Lincoln's sweat. Lincoln decided against washing the suit in the bathroom sink, figuring he would need to hose the suit down to properly clean it. Lincoln knew he didn't have the time to do that before people started asking questions.

Lincoln walked out of the bathroom with a revolted, strained expression on his face as he tried not to pass out at the smell and general ickiness of handling the squirrel mascot suit.

When the front desk blonde noticed Lincoln struggling, she asked Lincoln, "Oh my god, do you need help?"

Lincoln assured, "No, I'm fine."

But when the blonde got a whiff of the squirrel mascot suit, she recoiled while yelling and holding her nose, "Oh god, that suit smells awful! What even possessed you to carry a suit like that out of the bathroom?"

When the blonde noticed Lincoln's eye twitch at her question, she concernedly asked Lincoln, "What? Was it something I said?"

Lincoln scanned his surroundings. When he saw no trace of his sisters, he softly seethed, "You really want to know?"

The blonde urged Lincoln, "Yeah."

(Time Skip: 2 Minutes Later)

Lincoln finished his rant by fuming to the horrified blonde, "Anyway, it's not like you'd get it, so I'm gonna go. Thanks for letting me use your bathroom, though. I hope I never have to see this place again," before stomping away.

As Lincoln stomped away, the blonde ran after him and cried, "Wait!"

Lincoln stopped dead in his tracks, turned back around to the blonde, and asked, "What's going on, Ma'am?"

The blonde introduced herself, "Please, call me Wendy. Wendy Wetta."

Lincoln trembled while extending his hand out for a handshake, "O-oh. N-nice to meet you, Wendy."

Wendy returned the handshake and giggled, "Pleasure's all mine."

Upon hearing Wendy's last name, Lincoln asked, "Wait? Wetta? Any relation to Whitney? She's one of my… um… oldest sister's friends. Poofy hair."

Wendy smiled, "Oh, that Whitney? Yeah, she's my cousin. And what's your name?"

Lincoln gasped in realization before stammering, "L-Lincoln. Lincoln Loud."

Wendy gasped before kneeling to Lincoln's level, cupping his shoulders and crying, "Lincoln… no one should have to go through what you went through. And if there's anything I can do to help you… anything… just let me or my cousin know, OK?"

Lincoln sadly nodded before hearing the honking of a horn and Becky and Lindsay's voices calling him, "Just get back in the car already!"

Wendy tearfully giggled, "I think those girls are calling out to you. And from what I'm seeing, they don't look anything like those big, mean monsters that tried to hurt you yesterday. Run to them, Lincoln. Oh, and tell Whitney I said 'hi,' and tell her about what happened to you. She'll probably be better able to help you than I will."

Lincoln chuckled and waved, "I will. Thanks, Wendy! Bye!"

Wendy smiled and waved, "Nice meeting you, Lincoln! And remember what I said!"

Lincoln then sprinted back to Becky's car, throwing the squirrel suit in the trunk before jumping back in shotgun and buckling his seatbelt.

As Becky drove off, she giggled while jokingly scolding, "Lincolnovich… first rule of dating my sister… you can't be flirting with every pretty girl that catches your eye."

Lincoln defensively cried, "What?! I wasn't flirting with her! We were just talking, that's all."

Becky teased Lincoln, "Mm-hmm. That's what you boys all say. Don't go breaking hearts, OK?"

Lincoln cheekily joked back, "Hey, you're the one who said I'm adorable. Who am I to not take advantage of that?"

While pinching Lincoln's cheek, Becky laughed, "Oh, stop it, you!", before asking, "Who was that girl anyway?"

Lincoln said, "Oh, she said her name was Wendy Wetta. Said she was Whitney's cousin."

Becky mused, "Whitney's cousin, huh? Small world."

Lincoln agreed, "Mm-hmm".

Becky then sighed, "I almost forgot to tell you, Little Ace. Remember that tracking chip you told us Lisa implanted in your brain?"

Lincoln shuddered, "W-what about it?"

Becky sadly informed Lincoln, "Our Mom and Dad are taking you to the hospital to get that chip removed, sweetie. You're going in for emergency surgery tonight."

Lincoln's jaw dropped and his pupils shrunk in terror as he hyperventilated, "Wait, I'm going for surgery? Possibly brain surgery? That's life-threatening! How come they didn't let me know earlier?! How come you didn't let me know earlier?"

Becky explained, "Mom and Dad were going back and forth with the hospital AND trying to deal with Paige being sent to the office. You know how it is. Especially since they're not your parents, or even technically your legal guardians yet. And your phone hasn't been on you the past couple of days because your parents sold your furniture, remember? None of us have your number, and even if we did, we couldn't text you because of all that."

Lincoln said in realization, "Oh," before Becky continued, "And Paige should be out of detention by the time we get back home. So when we arrive at the Squirrels' field, we're going to rendezvous with Paige and our parents, and you're going to hand the squirrel suit to Paige. Meanwhile, our parents will drive you straight to the hospital, and will stay with you while you're there."

Becky saw the terror on Lincoln's face, and tried to soothe him, "Hey, it's gonna be OK. Remember, no matter what happens, I'll always have your back. Always."

Lindsay concurred, "Yeah, me too."

When Lincoln appreciatively smiled at them, Becky asked him, "Hey, you wanna sing that SMOOCH song?"

Lincoln immediately cheered, "Let's do it!"

Becky giggled, "Well, alright then."

Becky then passed her phone to Lincoln, who immediately figured out how to access her music library and find his favorite SMOOCH song, "Give it a SMOOCH". Lincoln pressed the play button, and when the electric guitar came to life, Lincoln immediately struck a devil horns' pose, wagging his tongue out, to which Becky and Lindsay giggled.

Lindsay yelled in delight, "I LOVE THIS SONG!"

Becky giggled, telling her sister and friend, "Well, you two know what to do!"

When the chorus started, the three started singing:

YEAAAAAH! Take my advice and don't be a mooch
Grab life by the lips and give it a smooch!
WHOOOOO! Give it a smooch!

As soon as "give it a smooch" played, Becky kissed Lincoln on the cheek, causing all of the car's occupants to laugh. They then broke into rock poses, cheering, laughing, and singing loudly to SMOOCH's greatest hits for the rest of the drive home. The fun that they were having turned the smell of the squirrel suit from an unwelcome distraction to an ambience enhancer.

(Time Skip: 1 Hour Later, Royal Woods Middle School)

After Becky parked her car next to the Sweetwater family van, Lincoln and the Sweetwater siblings immediately jumped out of their respective vehicles. Once they did so, Lincoln sprinted into the backseat of the Sweetwater van, which sped off in the direction of Royal Woods Hospital as soon as he locked the door. Meanwhile, Becky opened the trunk of her car, after which Paige grabbed the squirrel suit.

While walking with Becky and Lindsay to Royal Woods Middle School's football field, Paige smelled the suit. Her eyes immediately watered, and she grimaced while shrieking, "OH GOD! THAT SMELLS AWFUL!"

When Lindsay got a whiff of the suit, she covered her nose and screamed, "OH MY GOD! I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO WASH THAT OFF!"

Becky, who looked to be on the brink of vomiting herself, held her nose and tried to reassure her sisters, "Girls, remember we're doing this… for Linky."

Lindsay shouted, "THIS?! THIS?! YOU'D BETTER GIVE ME THAT SOAP and PERFUME YOU USE WHEN YOU GO OUT WITH TAD, OR I'M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!"

Becky scoffed at Lindsay, "As if I'd give that stuff to you."

Paige, despite understanding the seriousness of the mission, retorted, "Lindsay's right, you know. This is the grodiest, dirtiest, stinkiest costume I've EVER held!"

Not wanting to arouse anyone else's attention, Becky attempted to appease her sisters, "Alright, alright, I'll see what I can do."

Lindsay scoffed, "You'd better," as the Sweetwater sisters continued walking towards the field.

When the trio arrived at the Royal Woods Middle School football field, they quickly spotted Coach Wade Williams walking to his maroon car. Coach Williams was a pale-skinned, portly man with a red Squirrels cap, a red polo shirt, a grey whistle hanging around his neck, and light brown khakis with a black belt holding them up.

Becky told her sisters, "Stand back, I've got this," before approaching the man and saying, "Uh… hi…. Coach Williams."

Coach Williams turned towards the sound of Becky's voice. Upon seeing Becky, he beamed, "Hey… if it isn't Miss Becky Sweetwater! Brian's kid! This is a surprise! How are you?! You're taller than me now! Just like your dad!"

Becky giggled, "I've been good."

Coach Williams smirked, "Still working on your jump shot?"

Becky laughed, "You know it!" She then mischievously smirked, "and I remember," before Coach Williams smiled and joined Becky in saying and miming, "Square up, elbows in, one hand, flick the wrist," before laughing together.

When Coach Williams saw Becky's sisters, he called out to them, "And look at these little girls, Paige and Lindsay! They've grown so tall! By god, I still remember you two running all over the school at your sister's parent-teacher conference! You ran everybody ragged!", causing the four of them to laugh at the memory.

Coach Williams then asked Becky, "Say, how are your parents, by the way? Working hard or hardly working?"

Becky giggled, "It's good. They're hardly ever home, but I'd say it's worth it, all things considered. I have the girls to keep me company."

Coach Williams smiled, "Good, good. And hey, if there's anything you need… I'm here for you. Once a Squirrel, always a Squirrel!"

Becky frowned and took a deep breath before addressing Coach Williams, "Yeah, about that. Coach, there's something I need to tell you."

Coach Williams concernedly replied, "Shoot, go on, then."

Becky sighed before calling, "Paige!" Paige then walked up to Coach Williams and presented him with the squirrel suit.

Upon seeing the squirrel suit, Coach Williams gasped, "Oh my god, thank you girls so much! You don't know how long I've been…", before closely examining and getting a whiff of the suit.

When Coach Williams saw the condition of the suit, his jaw dropped in horror. It was dirty, covered in garbage stains, and smelled so rancid that Coach Williams considered dropping the suit and sprinting as far away from the field as possible. He gagged while covering his nose, "Oh, god! Was this suit in a garbage can or something?"

Paige nodded sadly while holding her nose. When she did, Coach Williams frowned at her, still "Care to explain how it got into a garbage can, young lady?"

Paige gulped at Coach Williams' change in tone, as she worried about getting herself, her sisters, and Lincoln in trouble with both Coach Williams and Lynn Jr. To give herself the courage to tell Lincoln's story to Coach Williams, she imagined Lincoln's passed out body in place of the squirrel suit.

As she did, Coach Williams yelled, "I haven't got all day!"

As Paige continued to imagine Lincoln's head superimposed onto the squirrel suit, she quietly giggled to herself, causing Coach Williams to roar, "You think this is funny, young lady? This is a $5,000 suit! And it might not even be ready for the next game!"

Paige trembled, "Uh… yeah, this isn't funny. I-I'm sorry, I was thinking of… something else. But anyway, I'll let you know how the squirrel suit ended up in the garbage."

Coach Williams warned, "Alright, but this better be good."

Paige sighed, "It is. You see…"

As soon as Paige started her explanation, Lynn Jr. slammed the middle school's back door open. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the coach talking with what appeared to be 3 girls of varying ages. Because Lynn Jr. was looking to get back on the field for extra work after a bad practice, she decided to walk over to her coach to ask him what she could work on. As she approached them, she saw that Coach Williams appeared to be holding something in his hands. When Lynn Jr. finally got close enough to Coach Williams to make out what he was holding in his hands, she couldn't have been more horrified to see it.

It was Stinkoln's squirrel suit. And on top of being dirty and full of stains, it was empty.

Lynn Jr. clenched her fists and gritted her teeth as she stomped over to the coach before yelling at him, "Wait a minute… Coach… that's STINKOLN'S squirrel suit! WHERE? IS? THAT? FUCKING? JINX?! HAVEN'T COMPLETED A PASS ALL DAY!" She then growled at the Sweetwater sisters, "Did you three have something to do with this? ANYTHING?"

All three Sweetwater sisters blurted, "No!" As Lynn Jr. growled at Paige and her sisters, she briefly considered recording the interaction on her phone before realizing Lynn Jr. would likely destroy her phone if she tried, which would hurt her family's plans.

Coach Williams, now puzzled, asked Lynn Jr., "Wait, who's Stinkoln?"

Lynn Jr. groaned, "It's that jinx of a brother of mine, Lincoln. He cost me a baseball game because he was bad luck, so I banned him from all my future baseball games. So then, that jinx tries to sneak into my next baseball game in a squirrel suit, and I actually win! So my family and I are making him wear the squirrel suit to every one of our next games! He stole the squirrel suit to prove he was good luck!"

Coach Williams remembered, "Oh yeah," and briefly fumed before profusely praising Lynn Jr., "Thank you so much, LJ. This is why I can always count on you."

Lynn Jr. chuckled, "You're welcome, and you know it, coach!"

Coach Williams then demanded, "Alright, now where's that naughty brother of yours?"

Lynn Jr. complained, "Heck if I know. He probably escaped the squirrel suit to get out of his responsibilities to his family. We told him: this family supports each other, but he never seems to get the message!"

Unbeknownst to Lynn Jr., the Sweetwater girls harshly glared at her. Paige's fists clenched as she growled at Lynn Jr. and started stomping towards her before Lindsay and Becky held her back. As they did, Lindsay whispered to Paige, "You got in trouble once today for defending Lincoln out loud, and you got off extremely lucky. Try not to do it twice in the same day."

Lindsay whispered, "You got in trouble once today for defending Lincoln out loud, and you got off extremely lucky. Try not to do it twice in the same day."

Remembering her stint in detention, Paige relaxed her body while maintaining her angry glare at Lynn Jr. as the

Lynn Jr. asked Coach Williams with an exasperated sigh, "What do you think we should do with that kid?"

As Coach Williams pondered an answer to Lynn Jr.'s question, he remembered Lynn Jr.'s mom, Rita, trying to register Lincoln for the football team. Shortly afterward, Coach Williams found out that Lynn Jr. had secretly been acting as "Lincoln" in his place because the boy was too lazy to exercise. Coach Williams saw Lincoln's actions as a betrayal of his and his team's trust in Lincoln.

Remembering how fooled he felt at Lincoln's actions, he sneered to Lynn Jr., "You know, stealing something over $1,000 is considered a felony in Michigan law. If we can get security camera footage, we can put him in juvie for as much as 5 years if you want to."

Lynn Jr. rubbed her hands while evilly snickering, "5 years in jail for Stinkoln? For everything he's done against my family? Oh-ho-ho… let's do it, Coach!"

Coach Williams smirked, "Well, alright then."

When the Sweetwater girls gasped in horror and begged Coach Williams, "Don't call the police! It was an honest mistake!", Lynn Jr. warned them, "If you say one more word, I'm calling the police on you guys as accomplices to the crime, as well."

Knowing Lynn Jr. was not making an idle threat, Becky convinced her sisters to stand down, "Come on, girls. Let's go."

Paige and Lindsay begged Becky, "But…"

Becky immediately interrupted them, knowing the next word they said would probably tip Lynn Jr. off about their whole plan. She whispered, "I know, but let's go."

The resigned look in Becky's eyes made Paige and Lindsay understand that any confrontation with Lynn Jr. would totally destroy their plan, whether by confrontation with the police, the rest of the Loud family, or both. At once, the Sweetwater sisters decided to walk back to Becky's car and drive off. As their car hit the main road, they fumed out loud to each other.

"THAT BITCH!", Lindsay snapped.

"WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?", Paige roared.

"AND COACH WILLIAMS! I THOUGHT HE WAS MY FRIEND!", Becky shouted.

"Well, I guess you never know a person," Lindsay seethed.

"Yeah," Paige venomously spat.

"Girls… we'll make her regret this," Becky growled.

The other two girls nodded at Becky's promise. The rest of the drive home was silent as the three girls seethed at their friend's tormentor.

Meanwhile, back at Royal Woods Middle School, Coach Williams pulled out his phone and dialed the police.

"911," the phone operator said.

Coach Williams replied, "Umm… yes. I'm Coach Wade Williams, of the Royal Woods Middle School football team, the Squirrels."

The operator responded, "Sure, Mr. Williams. How can I help you? Police, fire, or medical?"

Coach Williams said, "Police. I have a stolen squirrel suit that was returned to me that was damaged beyond repair, and I know who did it."

The operator questioned, "Sir, may I ask where you are right now?"

Coach Williams disclosed, "I am at the Royal Woods Middle School football field."

The operator replied, "Thank you, Sir. Now can you please describe the suspect for me?"

Coach Williams answered, "Yes, sir. His name is Lincoln Loud."

The operator replied, "Thank you, Sir. Do you have a description of the suspect in question?"

Coach Williams explained, "Yes, I do. He's an 11-year-old Caucasian male, about 4'9", skinny, with white hair, blue eyes, a chipped tooth, an orange polo, blue jeans, and white sneakers with red stripes. He also has a round face and freckles."

The operator affirmed, "Thank you, Sir. Please stay on the line while I call the local police department."

Coach Williams responded, "Thank you."

He then put himself on mute as Lynn Jr. chortled menacingly, "Whoa-ho-ho! With that detailed of a description… we're gonna get Lincoln back, for sure!"

Coach Williams sneered, "You bet we are."

After the two high-fived each other, Lynn Jr. bragged, "He should have known better than to try and chicken out of a football game AND steal our squirrel suit. He's going down."

Coach Williams chuckled, "Agreed."

While waiting for the 911 operator to get back on the line, Coach Williams and Lynn Jr. heard a horn honking in the distance. Upon turning to the sound of the horn, they saw and immediately recognized Vanzilla.

Coach Williams told Lynn Jr., "Looks like that's your mom," before asking, "Are you going to be OK?"

Lynn Jr. cheered, "You bet!"

Coach Williams chuckled, "OK then, have a good night."

Lynn Jr. smiled and waved, "You too, Coach! See you tomorrow!"

Coach Williams waved back, "Tomorrow!"

As Lynn Jr. rushed to Vanzilla, she fumed about Lincoln being bad luck. As she jumped in the van, wondering where Lincoln went, a mad idea came to her head.

Rita cheerfully greeted Lynn Jr., "Hi, sweetie!"

Lynn Jr. happily greeted back, "Oh, hey, mom!"

Rita then asked, "How was practice, honey?"

Lynn Jr. sighed, "Terrible. I didn't complete a pass," before perking up, "But it's all good. I've been talking to Coach Williams. I'm gonna get Lisa to go find Lincoln, and get our good luck charm back!"

Rita chuckled, "That's great, honey! And that way, my root canals can start going good again! Ugh… nearly injected anesthesia on the wrong tooth. Can you imagine?"

Lynn Jr. concurred, "I know, Mom! But don't worry. All that will be history soon! Tell the others!"

Rita smiled, "You know I will, honey!"

The mother and daughter continued to joke around as they drove home, blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding a couple of miles away from them in either direction.

Back at the school, Coach Williams took his phone off mute when he heard the 911 operator say, "Alright, sir, I have informed local police. They've put out an all-purpose bulletin for Lincoln Loud. Help is on the way."

Coach Williams hung up, "You're welcome, bye now."

(Scene Change: Pingrey Manor)

As Carol heard the front door of her house open and close, followed by the footsteps and voices of her parents, she immediately opened her room's door and walked downstairs to greet her parents.

Her father, Carl, a blonde-haired, mustachioed man wearing khakis and a semi-formal marine blue shirt with a folded collar, happily waved to Carol, "Hey, darling!"

Her mother, Leslie, who had long, flowing blonde hair, a "bell-shaped" physique, dazzling blue eyes, pink lipstick coated over her luscious lips, and was wearing a purple minidress with dark purple high heels, also waved to Carol, "Hi, sweetie!"

When Carol made it downstairs, she solemnly replied, "Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad."

Leslie concernedly asked Carol, "Honey, are you OK?"

Carl added, "Yeah, usually you're holed up in that room of yours doing homework, practicing violin, or something. What's going on?"

Carol groaned, "I finished all that already."

Leslie and Carl gasped before Leslie asked, "Already? What's going on, Carol?"

Carol grimly sighed, "Mom, Dad… there's something you need to know. Can we talk in the living room? And by the way, call Cassy & Connor down here. They need to hear this as much as you do."

Carl nodded, "Sure, sweetie. I'll get them out of their rooms," walking up the stairs to do so as Leslie followed Carol to the living room.

When Carl made it upstairs, he first knocked on Cassandra's door, "Come out, Cassy."

Cassandra sighed, "Do I have to?"

Carl insisted, "Yes, you do. This is a family meeting. Carol wants us all down here."

Cassy, a short light blonde-haired girl, opened the door at once, clad in her all-black emo outfit and white Vans, sighing loudly before walking downstairs.

Carl then knocked on his son's door, "Connor, we're having a family meeting in the living room. Come downstairs, please."

Connor whined, "Ugh… do I have to? Just let me finish this one game with my friends."

Carl demanded, "Now, Connor."

Connor groaned, "Alright, alright," before telling his friends on voicechat, "Sorry, guys, gotta go. Family wants me downstairs."

A cacophony of disgruntled groans, moans, and sighs could be heard through Connor's headphones as he disconnected from his gaming session with his friends, but Connor paid them no mind, sulking all the way downstairs.

As the Pingreys took their seats on the brown leather sofas and chairs scattered across the living room, Connor griped, "Whatever this is about, it'd better be important. This made me lose my game!"

Cassandra corroborated, "Yeah… I was in the middle of a séance."

Carl sternly responded, "Now, kids, Carol called us down here because she had something important she wanted to talk about. With all of us." He then gently urged Carol, "Come on, sweetie, what's going on?"

Carol deeply sighed before asking, "Mom, Dad… when you bought Connor those clothes… those orange polos… who did you buy them from?"

Leslie answered, "Oh, the Louds."

"Mm-hmm," Carol nodded before questioning, "And when you bought those clothes for Connor, did you ask why they were selling those clothes?"

Carl explained, "They told us that a bunch of new clothes had arrived in the mail for their son, and that they had to get rid of the old clothes to make room for them."

Carol groaned before grumbling, "The Louds lied to you."

The entire family gasped in disbelief before Leslie asked, "What do you mean? I mean, I know you have that rivalry with… what's her name… Lori, but that doesn't mean they would lie to us. Carol, if this is about your rivalry with Lori, I think you two need to make up and try giving friendship a chance. The Louds are good people. We even booked one of their kids, Luan, for Connor's birthday party a couple of months back."

Carol scoffed, "Well, Mom, if you think the Louds are good people, I'm going to tell you guys a little story Becky told me about Lori's little brother, Lincoln."

Cassandra asked, "Wait, Lincoln? The guy who almost ruined Maggie's birthday party before he & Luan saved it?"

Carol giggled, "Yes, that Lincoln," to which Connor groaned, "Great, more girl drama."

Carl yelled, "CONNOR!", before gently encouraging Carol, "Go on."

Carol sighed before spending the next few minutes recounting everything she had been told about not just the luck incident, but also various other incidents involving Lincoln being mistreated the Loud family. Upon hearing these stories, the Pingreys' facial expressions morphed into confusion, then shock, then horror.

(Time Skip: 10 minutes later)

When Carol revealed that Lincoln was the "Pineapple Boy" who stole Connor's Zombie Bran a few months back, he immediately sneered, "Well, look how the turn tables. Knowing that, I say he deserves everything he got for being such a nuisance to his sisters."

Carl and Leslie yelled, "CONNOR!", before Carol interrupted them, "Don't worry, I've got this." She then growled, "Connor, if you don't want to get grounded, you should personally return the clothes we bought from the Louds."

Connor grumbled, "Why should I? If he can steal the Zombie Bran from me, maybe I deserve to have some of his clothes, if those are really his. Knowing him, he probably made all that stuff up to get sympathy from you guys. I mean, he got locked out of his own house because his family called him 'bad luck'? Well, maybe he shouldn't have lied about it in the first place. Like he always does. Never mind that he would purposely take April Fools' Day pranks for a girl who doesn't even like him, wouldn't listen to his sisters to stay away whenever they're fighting, if they really are that vicious, or that he took the fall for his sister for reading Princess Pony. If he doesn't want to be stuffed in a squirrel suit, maybe he shouldn't get the idea to go to a game in it. If you ask me, volunteering to be a mascot of any event is a pretty stupid idea."

The rest of the Pingreys glared at Connor while Cassy snarled, "If we threw you out of this house because Carol thought you were bad luck after losing a golf game, how would you feel?"

Connor scoffed, "Well, give me sleeping bags and a tent, then. I don't know why Lincoln didn't think of it. He should learn to tell the truth to people, for once. Maybe then he wouldn't be thrown out of his own house."

The rest of the Pingreys gasped and gritted their teeth in anger at Connor before Leslie yelled, "That's it, young man, go to your room!"

Connor stood up before snapping, "Fine. And while I'm at it, now that I know these clothes are Pineapple Boy's, I'm gonna make every last one of them as dirty and muddy as possible. Just for him. And then you can return those clothes."

Carl shouted, "THAT'S IT! YOU ARE GROUNDED UNTIL YOU GIVE US BACK THOSE CLOTHES IN EXACTLY THE CONDITION YOU FOUND THEM! GIVE ME YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW!"

Connor gasped before begging Carl, "B-but y-you can't do that! I was supposed to keep playing with my friends, and…"

Carl roared, "YOUR FRIENDS?!", before coldly retorting, "Oh… that's right… your online friends. Tell me how you have them again? Because anybody out in the real world, if they watched your behavior, wouldn't want to be friends with you."

Connor hissed, "Because unlike you, old man, they know what's cool, and what's not."

Carl scowled, "Well, if they think this is cool, then maybe they're not the friends you should be around. Now, you're going to give me your phone, go up to your room, and when we get up there, we're going to disconnect every one of your computers & electronic devices. And from there… it's your choice. You get your electronics back when you give Lincoln's clothes back to us… in perfect condition. And if any one of them has any stains on them… everything gets destroyed. And you will have to buy replacements with your own money. Now, I don't know how you plan to earn the money necessary to buy back all this equipment, but I would recommend bouncing ideas off your sisters and mother. That is, if they still want to talk to you."

Wanting to save both face and his electronic devices, Connor walked up to Carl, and muttered as he handed Carl his cellphone, "Here you go, Dad."

Carl told Connor, "Thanks. Now, Leslie, Carol, Cassandra, & I are going to walk up to your room, and we're going to help you disconnect all your electronics. We will also do a spot check of Lincoln's clothes and take notes of the original condition we found them in. If you choose to hand them back, we will stop and reconnect all your devices at once. But if you alter the condition of those clothes in any way, you know what happens."

Connor gulped at Carl's threat before turning around and shuffling to his room in defeat with his family following him.

As they entered Connor's room, he beelined to the closet and was about to start yanking what he now knew to be Lincoln's clothes off the coatrack. But then, he remembered his parents' threat that if any extra damage happened to the clothes, his electronic equipment would be destroyed. So instead, Connor made the effort to take out every piece of Lincoln's clothing that he knew of carefully yet quickly, and place them neatly on the floor. The most obvious place to start was Lincoln's orange polo shirts, of which Connor had 7 extra in addition to the one he was wearing now. The same went for a light blue suit with an orange tie and brown dress shoes that Connor wouldn't dream of wearing himself. Other things Connor could easily identify as Lincoln's included orange pajamas, orange swim trunks, winter outfit, clown suit, hard hat, orange bathrobe, green and yellow lucha libre mask, white apron, sunglasses, teal gloves, roller skates, and blue helmet. Since Lincoln's other clothes were so similar to Connor's, he had a hard time telling them apart from his own clothes at first. However, thanks to the help of his family, he started to notice a pattern: Connor's clothes were slightly baggier than Lincoln's.

Eventually, once the Pingrey family had completely separated all of Lincoln's clothes from those of Connor's and folded them into neat piles, they gave him expectant looks while Leslie asked Connor, "Well, what's it going to be, son? You gonna keep these clothes or give them back?"

Connor sighed, "You guys can have the clothes back… and give them to Pineapple… I mean, Lincoln."

The rest of the family sighed in relief before Carl told Connor, "Thank you, son. You don't know how much this means to us."

Connor smirked, "Hey, I'm doing this for the video games, not Pineapple Lincoln."

Leslie and Carl laughed before Carl handed Connor back his cellphone and smirked, "A deal's a deal, right? And Pineapple Lincoln? Well… that's a start," to which the rest of his family echoed his laughter.

After Connor pocketed his phone, each of the Pingreys picked up a pile of Lincoln's clothes and took them to the basement where they stuffed them in 5 cardboard boxes. They then took the cardboard boxes to the front foyer. Once they did that, the Pingreys marked each box to be shipped to the Sweetwater home before carrying them into the trunk of the family van. Once the Pingrey van was fully loaded with Lincoln's clothes, they silently got into the van and drove to the Sweetwater home to return Lincoln's clothes.

(Scene Change: Royal Woods Middle School)

Two Royal Woods Police Department cars pulled into the parking lot of Royal Woods Middle School and parked in the two spots closest to the football field. Each car had a team of two inside: one officer driving while another rode shotgun. When the RWPD received the 911 call from Coach Williams, they knew that since they had no concrete information on the crime, all they could do was question Coach Williams to confirm his story. One team decided to stay in their car as backup, while the other team, made up of Officers Schoffner and Vaughan, decided to step out of the car and investigate the case themselves.

Once they approached Coach Williams, Officer Schoffner greeted, "Good evening, Coach Williams."

Coach Williams replied, "Good evening to you too, Officer."

Officer Schoffner then introduced herself, "I'm Officer Schoffner, and my partner is Officer Vaughan, we're going to be helping you with this case."

Coach Williams nodded, "Uh-huh."

Officer Vaughan, a large, brown-haired, mustachioed man, cleared his throat before asking, "So, you said that an 11-year-old boy by the name of Lincoln Loud stole your team's squirrel mascot suit?"

Coach Williams confirmed, "Yes."

When Officer Schoffner pulled a notepad out of her pocket and showed Coach Williams her sketch of the boy, she asked Coach Williams, "And does the suspect match this description?"

Coach Williams sighed, "Yup, that's him."

Officers Vaughan and Schoffner glanced at each other before laughing hysterically at Coach Williams. They were holding their stomachs, and Officer Schoffner even fell on her back, holding her stomach, while pointing at Coach Williams. After half a minute of hysterical laughter from Officers Schoffner and Vaughan, Coach Williams griped, "It's not funny, Officers!"

Wiping a tear from her eye, Officer Schoffner stood up before chuckling, "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We just laughed because... look, kids steal mascot suits all the time. They do it as pranks on rival teams... and you did mention the last name, Loud, right?"

Coach Williams nodded, "Yes."

Officer Vaughan gasped, "The biggest family in all of Michigan," before suggesting, "Could have been a sibling rivalry thing going on. Look, just call the boy's parents and have them tell him to give the squirrel suit back. I don't see why you need us."

Coach Williams grumbled, "Well, maybe if you saw the state of said squirrel suit, you wouldn't be so nonchalant about this 'prank,' or whatever this is."

Coach Williams handed the squirrel suit over to Officer Vaughan, who immediately recoiled in disgust upon feeling the griminess of the squirrel suit in his hands, looking at its disheveled state, and inhaling its scent. He stammered, "Wow... that smells awful." He then handed Officer Schoffner the squirrel suit and told her, "Here, get a whiff of this."

When Officer Schoffner smelled the squirrel suit, she immediately winced in disgust before stuttering, "W-wow. That's bad. But who could've left the squirrel suit in a state like this? You don't think any of the other Loud siblings could've done this, do you?"

Coach Williams shook his head, confidently stating, "No, Lincoln did this. And if you don't believe me, I have the security camera footage to prove it."

Officer Vaughan immediately ordered Coach Williams, "Follow me," as he and Officer Schoffner led Coach Williams into the school's office.

As they walked, Officer Vaughan asked Coach Williams, "Where do you normally keep the squirrel suit? You know, when no one's using it?"

Coach Williams informed him, "Oh... I usually keep it in the dugout of the baseball field."

Officers Vaughan and Schoffner glanced at each other before Officer Schoffner whispered to Officer Vaughan, "Coach doesn't do the best job of protecting his possessions."

Officer Vaughan sighed, "It's a middle school, what do you expect? Let's go."

Once the two officers and Coach Williams made it to the computer that kept Royal Woods Middle School's security footage, Officer Schoffner took a seat before typing in some keystrokes to override the password protection system the school had in place. She could do this because a new state law had been recently implemented ordering schools to give their local police department a "switch" that could allow them to access any school's security camera system at any time.

Once Officer Schoffner was inside the system, she scrolled through security camera footage of various rooms in the school before ultimately entering the part of the program that showed the security cameras filming activity in the outdoor portion of the school grounds. She saw cameras that filmed each parking lot, as well as the outside of the north, south, and east sides of the school before scrolling one over to show security camera footage of the west side's outdoor amenities. After scrolling through the security cameras filming the football field, she pressed the right key on her keyboard to access the cameras filming all areas of the baseball field: the grandstands, the diamond itself, and each dugout.

Upon recognizing his home dugout through the security footage, Coach Williams told the officers, "Stop right there."

The officers glanced at Coach Williams before he explained, "Now... check Saturday morning's footage. It's gotta be here somewhere."

The officers scrolled through the Saturday morning footage of the dugout before noticing an 11-year-old boy that matched the description of the subject walking into the dugout in his usual clothes. He seemed to almost be walking to the squirrel suit with a stooped posture, which didn't seem like a big deal to anyone watching the footage, as they had seen that body language from 11-year-old boys all the time. Upon getting a closer view of his face and zooming the footage in, all three people watching the footage had no doubt that this was Lincoln Loud. However, because the security camera footage was video-only, and grainy video-only at that, they couldn't hear what he was saying, or even catch the subtle details in Lincoln's body language and facial expressions. As for what Coach Williams and the officers could see, Lincoln seemed to look over both of his shoulders briefly before taking the squirrel suit, causing the trio to gasp as they watched him put it on and walk away. Officer Vaughan then spent the next few minutes rewinding the tape to capture the footage he needed before saving it onto a USB key.

As Officer Vaughan did that, Officer Schoffner asked Coach Williams rhetorically, "So, it is true?!"

Coach Williams responded, "Yes."

After pocketing his USB key, Officer Vaughan then asked, "Do you know where Lincoln Loud lives, or may be at this time, by any chance?"

Coach Williams explained, "Yes. His sister, Lynn Loud Jr., plays on my team." He then said to himself, "Let me check my contact info," as he scrolled through his numerous sheets of paper and folders before finding a contact information sheet for every player on his team. He then scanned the sheet with his finger before finding Lynn Loud Jr.'s name. When Coach Williams found Lynn Jr.'s name, he said to himself, "Aha." He then traced his finger to the next tab on the right, which showed each players' home address. It listed Lynn Jr.'s as "1216 Franklin Avenue, Royal Woods, MI."

Upon finding it, Coach Williams told Officers Schoffner and Vaughan, "Alright. So, Lynn Jr. and Lincoln live at 1216 Franklin Avenue."

Officer Schoffner nodded before explaining, "OK. But given that this case involves minors, we will have to talk to the parents. Are you OK with that? Do you have the names of their parents on that sheet?"

Coach Williams said, "Yes, I do. Their names are Lynn Loud Sr., and Rita Loud."

Officer Vaughan responded, "OK. Thank you for your cooperation, Coach Williams. You need a ride home?"

Coach Williams assured them, "No, I'm fine. I'll drive over there."

Officer Vaughan instructed, "OK. Just be sure to meet us there so we can continue the investigation."

Coach Williams said, "I will. Thank you, officers, for your help."

Officer Schoffner assured, "At ease," as she and Officer Vaughan shook Coach Williams' hand.

The three then walked to their respective cars before driving off. As they did, Officer Vaughan communicated through the police radio, "We have found the squirrel suit, and have proof that the suspect stole it. We are currently heading towards 1216 Franklin Avenue. 1216 Franklin Avenue, all units."

Closing A/N: Just passed 100 reviews! Whoop whoop! Again, thanks to everybody for reading my story, and be sure to share it with everyone you know, and fav and follow if you haven't already! And BTW, Happy Canada Day weekend to my fellow Canadians, and happy 4th of July long weekend to my American readers! Have fun! Hope you like this as a present for the road!

A/N 2: Wade Williams, the coach of the football team, is the actual name of the voice actor that voiced the football coach in the canon "Loudest Yard" episode. Since I couldn't come up with any original ideas for football coach names, I recycled it here.

A/N 3: The blonde ponytail girl, who turned out to be Whitney's cousin, is based on a JaviSuzumiya drawing with two Whitney's, with the blonde ponytail girl being the other Whitney. So I decided, "You know what, I'm going to make her the front desk worker at Huron Beach and turn her into Whitney's cousin." Big shoutout to Javi for that.

A/N 4: In this canon, Brownie QT is Irene Helmandollar.

A/N 5: If there's any lawyers or law students reading this, please help me out: what are the consequences in Michigan state law for theft of a $5,000 squirrel suit for a juvenile 11-year-old boy? Tried to do my research, but I'm not sure if what I put in as the punishment was exactly right. Thanks.

A/N 5.5 (Edit: July 1, 2022): Shoutout to DoctorQuacks for telling me the penalty for stealing the squirrel suit! Whoo boy... 5 years in jail and/or a fine of $10,000? Man... don't steal mascot suits, kids! Thanks, DoctorQuacks!

A/N 6: Officer Vaughan is meant to be the brown-haired officer from "Driving Miss Hazy" with the big, burly mustache.

Anyway, looks like the race is on to find Lincoln! With everything working against him, will Lincoln even make it to the hospital in one piece? Find out next chapter, and stay tuned!