Reversal of Fortune: Chapter 14: Life's a Lot Less Loud

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 5; 7:00 AM
LOUD HOUSE
ROYAL WOODS, MICHIGAN

When Lori and Leni stretched after waking up, the first thing they noticed was that Marcus Quick was missing.

Both girls asked, "Marcus? Where are you?", as they looked around the room.

Leni gasped before exclaiming, "MARCUS TURNED INVISIBLE!"

Lori sighed, "No, Leni… he probably had to go home. You know, he is a professional football player after all."

Leni said, "Ohhhhhh", before asking, "Wait… doesn't Lynn play football?"

Lori yawned, "Yeah, but it's literally a different game," before assuring a sulking Leni, "Look, we'll text him and see if he can come by the house tonight."

Leni clapped and smiled, "Yay! Thanks Lori! You always have the best ideas."

Lori smirked, "I literally do. Now come on… let's join the others and brush our teeth. And then… we both have to shower after last night."

Leni chirped, "OK", before getting out of her bed.

(Scene Change: Luna & Luan's Room)

As Luna & Luan stretched out and woke up, Luna scratched her back while Luan punned "Well… time to check my closet. Gonna see who's a-peel-ing today! Hahaha… get it?"

Luna groaned, "Yeah, yeah… we get it… you're a comedy genius, Luan."

Luan started, "Well, they say the…", before opening her closet.

When Luan opened her closet, she gasped in shock and horror. All of Luan's pranking supplies, hidden cameras, and the "Comedy Fort Knox" section had disappeared. Luna's musical instruments still seemed to be there completely untouched, but that was it.

Luan frantically searched through the closet, "Come on, come on!", causing Luna to ask, "Uh… dudette… what's going on?"

Luan cried, "My pranking supplies! Videotapes! Comedy routines! Jokebooks! Hidden cameras! EVERYTHING! IT'S ALL GONE!"

Luna probed, "Wait… hidden cameras?"

Luan blurted, "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HEAR THAT!"

At first, Luna blankly said, "Oh." But when Luna realized what Luan was complaining about, she smirked, then smiled, then began to laugh hysterically, "Oh, oh, oh-ho-ho-ho!" Luna then sneered, "That means YOU won't be able to prank us anymore! No more April Fools' Days! No more bad puns! I'm free! I'M FREE! I'M FREEEEEE! YAYAYAYAYA!"

Luna then wagged her tongue like SMOOCH in excitement, jumped out of her bed, and ran out of the room as she cheered, "DUDES! WE'RE FREE! IT'S OVER! LUAN'S REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER!"

Lori yawned, "What… what is literally going on with Luna?"

Lori then heard a shrill scream from Lola and Lana's room, and deadpanned, "Literally great… another one of their arguments." Lori then told Leni, "Go over to the bathroom and brush your teeth. I've got this," before stomping over to Lana and Lola's room and slamming the door open, "LANA! LOLA! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?"

Lana cried, "Izzy… Hops… Cliff… Geo… all my pets! THEY'RE GONE! ALL GONE!"

Lori gasped, "Gone? What do you mean, gone?"

Lana sniffled, "I woke up… I didn't hear the 'ribbit' of my pet Hops, or the hissing of my pet snakes, or Cliff scratching the floor… so I looked all over the house, and they're GONE! MY PETS ARE GONE!". Lana then grabbed Lori's shorts and begged, "You've got to help me find them! You've got to help me find them! Please? Please please please please?"

Lola haughtily interrupted Lana, "I'll say, it's good that your pets are gone."

Lana suddenly turned to her twin sister, and hissed, "What?"

Lola scoffed, "You heard me. I was never a fan of all those extra animals. Pooping all over the floor, growling at me, their snoring interrupting my beauty sleep. Tearing up my dresses, ruining my tea parties… need I go on. I wouldn't go looking for them, dear. Besides, we have school to go to. And I can't ruin this flawless look this early in the morning looking for your stupid animals."

Lana yelled, "Some of those stupid animals are your pets, too! Family pets! And you need to help me find them!"

Lucy then jumpscared the Louds when she concurred, "I second Lana's motion. Fangs is missing." She then threatened, "If any of you took them, I'll be forced to use the most diabolical spells in my book to curse you until you give him back to me."

Lola groaned, "OK, Spooky… no one cares what you think," before telling Lana, "Now, if you'll excuse me, this princess needs to prim herself up for school." However, an angry Lana blocked her path, causing Lola to yell, "GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

Lana scowled, "You say sorry for talking bad about my pets or else!"

Lola smugly threatened, "Or what? Watch your next move, Lana."

Lana then lunged at Lola, starting a fight between the two of them. Eventually, Lucy joined as well, causing Lori to groan, "You know what? Fine. I'll literally leave you girls alone to settle your differences. I've got teeth to brush, a shower to take, and school to go to. Literally priorities," before walking away from her sisters.

As Lori started walking to the bathroom, Lisa slammed her room door open, cleared her throat, and started, "Excuse me, eldest sibling."

Lori shrieked, "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M…", before gasping at how clean Lisa looked. As Lori took in Lisa's unruffled state, she exclaimed, "You… no experiments this morning? No blow-ups? No hairs out of place? Lisa… that's incredible! Now, come join the rest of us in brushing our teeth. We've got to get to school!"

Lisa implored, "Eldest sibling… I'm afraid this is a matter of grave importance."

Lori groaned, "Can it wait? We literally have more important stuff to do right now than your poop studies."

Lisa sighed, "I'm afraid it's not that."

Lori exhaled, "Thank god," before shouting, "Now, join us here and brush your teeth! I'm busy!"

Lisa deadpanned, "Psshh… her loss," managing to get through the bathroom door just before Lori would have slammed it shut in Lisa's face.

After the Loud siblings brushed their teeth and convened at the breakfast table, Lisa cleared her throat to get her family's attention before starting, "Family units… I'm afraid I have some very bad news."

Lynn Sr. asked, "What is it, sweetie? Did the European Institute of Science reject your latest invention again?"

Lisa sighed, "I'm afraid not," before saying, "Siblings… you may be aware that Lana was distraught over the disappearance of our household's animal companions."

Lana sadly nodded before Lola added, "And then Lucy said Fangs was gone."

Luna then exclaimed, "And Luan's pranking supplies and embarrassing videotapes disappeared, too!"

Most of the siblings immediately dropped their forks at that revelation, before Lori gasped, "Wait, literally? They're gone?"

Luan confirmed, "Yup. Checked my closet this morning. Was gonna set off a banana peel prank. Couldn't find any of the ones I had stored. Or anything else, for that matter. Just Luna's ol' guitar," before miming an air guitar motion with her right hand and laughing.

The rest of the Loud family immediately looked under their seats and around the house to check for any booby-trapped pranks or whoopee cushions. Lynn Sr. kept a close eye on his fourth-eldest daughter the whole time, scanning her for any signs of deceit or hidden hand movements. When Lynn Sr. saw neither signs of mischief on Luan's face nor pranking supplies in his vicinity, he assured his family, "Alright, the coast is clear."

The rest of the Loud family apprehensively sat back in their dining chairs. When they noticed no whoopie-cushion sounds or pranks with the kitchen utensils or food, they gasped in relief.

Sensing her family about to start cheering, Lisa sighed, "I'm afraid it's worse than that, family units."

Lynn Sr. stuttered, "W-worse? What could possibly be worse than Luan's April Fools' Day pranks?" Luan immediately glared at Lynn Sr., causing him to immediately put his hands in the air and tell her, "No offense, dear."

As Luan crossed her arms and look away from Lynn Sr., Rita sighed, "Go on, Lisa."

Lisa mentioned, "My technology disappeared, too," causing the entire family to gasp in shock. Lisa deadpanned, "I know. Tragic," before continuing, "It appears as if our domicile was unlawfully entered into over the course of the previous 6-8 hours, with crimes being committed against our aforementioned property during that time."

The entire table deadpanned, "Speak English, Lisa."

Lisa groaned, "We had a home invasion last night, and burglars stole all the stuff you guys mentioned was missing."

The entire table gasped before Lynn Sr. fretted, "But that's impossible! How could they have broken in? We lock our doors every night, no windows seem to be broken, the house seems to look about the same…", before Rita interrupted, "I'll check the rest of the house! I'll see if anything else was stolen!", before leaving the table to do just that.

After Rita left the table, Lana trembled, "Burglars stole my pets?"

Luan shuddered, "And my comedy materials?"

Lucy blankly added, "And Fangs?"

Lisa scoffed, "Evidently."

Lynn Jr. cried, "B-but that's impossible! We keep our doors locked, the only person in our house that wasn't one of us last night was Marcus Quick, and he wouldn't do that, and the only person who could get into our house would have the… wait a minute… that leaves one person."

Lynn Sr. and the remaining sisters gasped before the entire table seethed, "Lincoln."

Lola shrieked, "THAT JERK! WE SHOULD HAVE HAD HIM ARRESTED BY THOSE NO-GOOD COPS WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE!"

Lynn Jr. roared, "FIRST HE ESCAPES THE SQUIRREL SUIT, AND NOW WE GET ROBBED! HE IS BAD LUCK!" Lynn Jr. then snarled, "Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa… you know what to do. When you four see him at school…", before making a throat-slitting gesture.

Lana and Lola nodded their heads solemnly in agreement, while Lucy and Lisa continued to eat their food. Lynn Jr. exploded at Lucy and Lisa, "What's with you guys? Our unlucky brother is now stealing our stuff to prove a point because we sold all his stuff because he's bad luck!"

Lucy asked, "How do you even know our brother stole the stuff?"

Leni defended Lincoln, "Yeah, usually Linky follows the rules when we tell him to! Why would he come back if he knows he's bad luck? He loves us, so he wouldn't do that!"

Lily babbled, "Inkin! Kik! Kik! Ma-cu Kik!", while clapping her hands.

Lisa gasped, "Of course! The only two people that would have had access to our house last night were Lincoln and Marcus Quick! Lincoln, who probably has a backup house key, and Marcus Quick, who was in our house!" Lisa immediately added, "First: about Lincoln. We won't have to worry about him."

Lynn Jr. growled, "You'd better have a good reason to leave Stinkoln aside, egghead. That punk ruined everything for us," to which the rest of the Louds yelled, "Yeah!"

Lisa reassured her family, "Not to worry. Whoever stole my technology also stole the security footage I've been keeping of this family."

Luna inquired, "Wait... security footage? You don't happen to have hidden cameras around here, do you?"

Lisa yelped, "MOVING ON!", before pointing out, "Anyway, whoever obtained that footage is going to discover Lincoln's extensive pattern of maladaptive behavior."

The rest of the Louds deadpanned, "Speak English, Lisa."

Lisa clarified, "They're going to find out how awful Lincoln is. That kid's going to need some protection. Not that I'm willing to go near him."

The rest of the Louds murmured in agreement before Lisa continued, "That leaves us with Marcus Quick." After mentioning Marcus Quick's name, Lisa turned to Lori and Leni and demanded, "That reminds me… Lori, Leni? You two have anything to say for yourselves?"

Lori and Leni blushed in embarrassment and held their hands over their private parts. Lori then shrieked, "THAT'S NOT THE POINT, LISA! THE POINT IS, WE'VE GOTTA GET OUR STUFF BACK!"

The rest of the Louds cheered in agreement before Lisa sighed, "Fair point. But Lori, Leni, we will be talking later. My security cameras see everything."

Lori sheepishly asked Lisa, "Alright… what do we do?"

Lisa explained, "Eldest sibling, you have a fair point. As much as we'd like to find out who did this and bring them to justice, what's key is getting our stuff back. Now, I never removed the trackers from our pets, so we'll be able to find them. That's probably first priority. As for the rest of our stuff… well… if you need it urgently, I'd be happy to oblige with my financial resources. I've been in the market for some tech upgrades, anyway."

Luan admitted, "Yeah… now that you mention it, I've got to admit, my old material was getting kind of stale. And 'Comedy Fort Knox' was taking up a lot of space in that closet."

Luna deadpanned, "You don't say?" before Luan quickly shook her fist at her and warned her, "Watch it, tutz."

Lana asked, "Find them? Wait… I thought all your crazy tracking technology got stolen!"

Lisa scoffed, "Come on, you think a girl of my intelligence WOULDN'T back up all her technology into phone app format multiple times over? Please… you should know me better."

Lisa then pulled out her phone to check her tracking app to see if she could find the pets. Lisa then asked Lana for all the pets' names, which Lana quickly rattled off.

As Lisa typed the names of Lana's pets furiously into her phone, Rita returned to the table and informed her family, "Phew… I checked the house. Nothing else broken… although Charles is missing as well."

The rest of the family gasped, with Lana begging, "Come on Lis… please find Charles, too!"

Lisa blankly looked back at her family, as if to non-verbally acknowledge their concerns before continuing to type away on her phone.

As Lisa typed away, she noticed that the names Lana listed all linked back to roughly the same location within about 5 feet of each other. Lisa quickly zoomed out so she could understand exactly where all these pets seemed to be concentrated. When Lisa zoomed out enough to figure it out, her eyes widened and she gasped in shock as she nearly dropped her phone.

Hearing Lisa's shocked gasp, Lana asked, "What is it, Lise? Please tell me you got something good!"

Lisa sighed, "Apparently, yes I do. I managed to find all your pets."

The entire Loud family cheered in delight at Lisa's claim:
"Nice work, Lisa!"
"Not bad, honey!"
"I literally knew you could do it!"
"Wait, why are we cheering?"
"Rockin', dudette!"
"Talk about Finding Fido! Hahaha… get it?"
"Nice work, uber-nerd!"
"Yay."
"Way to go, Lise!"
"Good job!"
"Sa-sa!"

Lisa then continued, "If I could go on, it appears as if our pets are in the backyard of… Lord Tetherby."

The rest of the siblings gasped at this revelation before Lynn Jr. roared, "THAT RICH JERK! Wait… I bet he's in league with LINCOLN now! So THAT'S where Lincoln's hiding?"

Lisa sighed, "Fifth-eldest sibling, we're not pursuing Lincoln right now. We're pursuing the pets. If Lincoln's there, we take him back."

Lynn Jr. grinned evilly before hollering, "Of course he'd be with that rich jerk! Why wouldn't he be?"

Lisa countered, "May I remind you we sprayed mustard on Mr. Tetherby the last time we saw him? Judging by this conduct, I don't hypothesize Mr. Tetherby would be very fond of our good luck charm."

Lynn Jr. remembered, "Oh," before asking, "So what do we do?"

Lana immediately banged her hands on the table, stood up, and yelled, "We go to Tetherby's house and get our pets back!", to which the rest of the Loud siblings cheered, "Yeah!"

Lisa replied, "I concur with our animal-loving sibling unit."

Rita urged her family, "Now, hold on. You girls have school today, and we have work. We may not be able to look for them now… so let's do it after school."

Many of the Loud siblings groaned in disappointment before Lisa volunteered, "Mother, if I may. I will take the day off from school to survey the grounds of Tetherby manor for our pets. When our siblings return from their day of educational instruction, I will inform them of our pets' whereabouts."

Rita uttered, "I don't know, honey. I don't think I can get you off 2 days in a row for 'special appointments'."

Lisa derided Rita, "May I remind you I possess a 180 IQ, numerous P.h.D.'s, and the technology to find anything that's missing worldwide?"

Luna reminded Lisa, "Had the technology, dude. Your stuff got robbed like the rest of us."

Lisa took this opportunity to correct Luna, "Phone backups," causing Luna to gulp.

Rita acquiesced, "Alright, Lisa. I'll let you have this day off… but just to get our pets back. I'll drop you off at the Tetherby Manor after I drop the rest of the kids off at school, and you can spend the day searching there. We'll call the school while we're in the car."

Lisa said, "Excellent, mother," before vowing, "I will not disappoint you."

Rita cooed, "I know you won't, my little genius. Now go get 'em," before Lynn Sr. and the rest of the Loud siblings shouted similarly encouraging and hopeful words.

(Scene Change: Tetherby Manor, 9:05 AM)

As Vanzilla drove around the streets of Huntington Oaks, Rita asked Lisa, "Where is it, honey?"

Immediately after Rita's question, Lisa's phone chimed, alerting the two girls and Lynn Sr., "You have arrived at your destination."

Lisa put her finger to her chin in thought, knowing that the signal of a GPS could often be off on an address by as much as 30 feet. She then took a quick glance out the car windows, and saw the splendor of the Tetherby Mansion dead ahead.

When Lisa saw it, she immediately yelled to Rita, "Stop the car!"

Rita slammed on the brakes, bringing Vanzilla to a grinding halt right alongside the Tetherby mansion.

Lynn Sr. then asked, "You sure this is it?"

Lisa pulled out her phone and heard a beep that confirmed that they had the right address. When Lisa heard the beep, she said, "Affirmative, father."

Lynn Sr. then ruffled Lisa's hair with a mix of pride and affection, "Alright. Now, go find our pets, my little genius!"

Lisa blankly replied, "I sure hope I can."

As Lisa made her way out of Vanzilla, Rita rolled down the window and asked Lisa, "You sure you need anything, honey?"

Lisa sighed, "I'll be fine, mother. I have my phone, I have everything I need to complete this mission."

Lynn Sr. chuckled, "Alright. Well, call us to let us know when you find the pets!"

Rita then waved, "Bye, honey!", as she and Lynn Sr. drove off.

As Lisa walked to Tetherby Manor's entrance, she muttered, "Alright, Tetherby, Lincoln... let's see what you've got."

With her phone in hand, Lisa quickly scrolled over to the GPS app on her phone, searched for Charles, and was immediately given directions to his location. Lisa was so focused on finding the pets that she walked right past Lord Tetherby's cold, dead body with 3 bullet holes in his head.

Owing to the sheer size of the Tetherby property, it took about 10 minutes for Lisa's phone app to finally chime as she walked over a patch of grass on the Tetherby mansion right next to the Quick mansion. When Lisa noticed that the grass patches felt uneven and a little harder than the soft grass she had previously been walking on, she started to worry. From the way Lisa had color-coded the pets, they were clearly supposed to be here. Lisa's app could account for inaccuracies of about 10-20 feet, as was standard with most phone map apps that tracked your location. But as Lisa paced over the hardened patch of grass, she heard her GPS app keep beeping. When she combined that fact with not being able to physically see the pets and the memory of walking past Lord Tetherby's body, she started to shiver in alarm.

Lisa then sighed to herself, "Fine… I'll just have to look underground."

Lisa spent the next hour combing Tetherby Manor for shovels and digging supplies. While searching Tetherby Manor's basement, Lisa found the shovels and digging supplies she believed she needed. As she lugged them back to the last known location of the Loud pets, she saw a butler in one of the hallways of Tetherby Manor's main floor and asked him, "Excuse me... I hope I wouldn't be too much of a bother."

The dumbfounded butler replied, "Go on."

Lisa requested, "I was hoping you'd assist me in transporting the digging equipment in my hands to the backyard. I... uh... lost a ball there."

The butler responded, "Why, most certainly," and took much of Lisa's digging equipment from her hands as the two walked to the backyard together. As Lisa led the butler to the Loud pets' last known location, she desperately hoped that her worst fears wouldn't be realized.

When Lisa and the butler finally arrived at the Loud pets' last known location, the butler gave Lisa her digging equipment back before telling her, "Here. I hope I was of assistance."

Lisa responded, "Your assistance is greatly appreciated. Thank you."

The butler bowed to Lisa and mimed a cap-tipping gesture before bidding Lisa, "Good day."

As the butler left, Lisa sighed before beginning to dig.

After digging about ten feet underground and boring a minor tunnel through the place, Lisa saw some black trash bags scattered across the lawn. Lisa curiously lifted the trash bag and tried to empty its contents out. Lisa gasped in horror at what fell out of the bag. It was Charles the dog's body, with its neck broken, and with evidence of drowning and strangulation. It was evident that Charles had suffered greatly before his untimely demise. Lisa walked up to Charles, touched him to feel his temperature, and felt a coldness. Charles also smelled really bad, as if he'd voided his bowels a couple of hours beforehand. Lisa didn't need to be a super-genius to know exactly what had happened there. And Charles was just the first domino to fall.

Tunnelling further underneath the Tetherby backyard, Lisa saw more black trash bags. After sifting through them, she saw the bodies of all the Loud pets in various states of mangling. Some had their heads chopped off. Others had other limbs chopped off. There were even a couple of animals in pieces. Upon forensic examination of the Loud pets' bodies, the pets showed evidence of, among other things, electrocution, hanging, body-slamming, drowning, and shooting. Lisa's forensic examination app pinned the executions of the pets on none other than Marcus Quick and his cronies, who had visited the Loud House the previous night.

Despite her intellect, Lisa kept gasping and crying to herself, "No, no, no, no", as betrayal, shock, and horror overtook her. By the time Lisa reached the body of the last pet, a disemboweled snake, she collapsed to the ground and began to cry, too overwhelmed by her emotions to notify her family of what had just happened.

(Time Skip: Royal Woods Middle School, 12:00 PM)

After Cassandra Pingrey finished explaining Lincoln's situation to a horrified Margo and Paula, Margo mouthed, "Wow. Unbelievable."

Paula then hissed, "Mm-hmm. That story checks out. Matter of fact, did I ever tell you about how I actually got these crutches?"

Margo and Cassandra gasped before Margo assured Paula, "I'm all ears, girl."

With that, Paula cleared her throat before starting to tell her Lynn Jr. story.

Flashback: A Couple of Months Earlier

During a bus ride home from a baseball game against the Hazeltucky Hockers, Paula told her team, "Guys… I'm not so sure about this 'not going no. 2 until we're no. 1' rule. I feel so bloated and slow."

Lynn Jr. immediately yelled, "SHUT UP AND DO AS I SAY, PAULA! THIS WILL HELP US WIN!"

Paula got up from her seat and told the bus driver, "Stop! I'm out, man."

The bus driver shireked, "GET BACK IN YOUR SEAT!"

Lynn Jr. sneered, "Yeah, Paula. Sit back in your seat."

Paula huffed, slumped back into her seat, and crossed her arms in frustration.

(Time Skip: 10 minutes later, Royal Woods Middle School)

After everyone else got off the bus, Lynn Jr. told a downcast Paula, "Chin up, girl. Look, I know we had our 'disagreement'. But, why don't we talk it out at Ketcham Park?"

Paula murmured, "I don't know, Lynn. I don't feel too well. How about tomorrow?"

Lynn Jr. replied, "Yeah, tomorrow… whatever."

Paula asked, "You'll text me the time, right?"

Lynn Jr, nodded, "Yeah," before the two parted ways after getting off the Royal Woods Squirrels team bus.

(Time Skip: The next afternoon, Ketcham Park)

When Paula met Lynn Jr. behind a shed at Ketcham Park, she found Lynn Jr. with a Lucha Libre mask on her face and her baseball bat in her hand. Paula tried to run away, but Lynn Jr. quickly caught up to her, tackled her, and beat her senseless. As Paula writhed in pain on the ground, Lynn Jr. repeatedly smashed Paula's leg with said baseball bat until she heard the "crack."

Lynn Jr. then stood over Paula, raised her baseball bat, and threatened, "If you ever defy me again, you will never walk again. And don't even think of quitting the team. I have a sister, Lisa, that can poison you to death in minutes. You will never see it coming. If you do, two words: April. Fools. If you tell anyone, I'll just convince Coach Keck that I attacked you in self-defense. Your reputation will never recover."

Paula squeaked, "W-what do I do?"

Lynn Jr. growled, "You're going to show up to tomorrow's game like normal, & walk with all the strength you can muster. After your first hit, you will limp off in pain. That'll get you off. Now do as I say… or else." Lynn Jr. then walked off, leaving a writhing Paula clutching her right leg in pain.

Flashback ends

(Scene Change: Royal Woods Middle School, Present Day)

When Paula recalled that incident, any sense of horror and fear on Margo and Cassandra's faces had changed to full-blown rage. Their faces were red, their pupils were dilated, and their body and fists tensed up in fury.

Cassandra spat, "We're getting Stink-Lynn back. HARD. For you, Paula. For you."

Margo shrieked, "NO! Don't do it! You can't take her on in a fight one-on-one! She'll kill you! You saw what she did to Paula!"

Cassandra growled, "I know. We've got a different plan."

Margo asked, "3-on-1? 5-on-1? 10-on-1?"

Cassandra sighed, "No. But you'll get to beat her up… eventually."

Margo and Paula smirked evilly before Paula gushed, "Ooh… what's the plan?"

Cassandra explained, "Look… from what I've heard about Lynn Jr., she's clearly egotistical, right?"

Margo and Paula simultaneously snarked, "Like you wouldn't believe."

Cassandra smirked, "Good. So, before we destroy Lynn Jr. physically, we destroy her mentally. We destroy her ego."

Paula asked, "How?"

(Time Skip: 5 minutes later)

Cassandra asked the smirking jocks, "So, are you girls in?"

Margo and Paula nodded, "Hell yeah," before Paula added, "Especially if Lisa's mad scientist tech can heal my leg."

Cassandra smiled, "Good. Now, let's exchange phone numbers so we can talk further."

Margo, Paula, and Cassandra did just that before starting a groupchat amongst each other in the encrypted Scramble app. They named it, "Jocks 'N Goth," and when they formed it, Cassandra texted the girls, "Go to the hospital. Check for Lisa's brain chips."

The jocks nodded before texting back, "Yeah we'll do it tonight".

Cassandra texted, "Good. You'd better".

After the trio texted their parents requesting that Margo and Paula get doctor's appointments for the checkups, the trio bid each other farewell by giving each other the "peace out" sign before going their separate ways.

(Scene Change: Royal Woods High School Cafeteria, 12:25 PM)

As Lori walked into the cafeteria, she grew uneasy when everyone stared at her and started whispering. Lori walked past Chaz, who barely picked at his food as he sulked alone at his table. She smiled, "Hi, Chaz!", but Chaz didn't respond.

When Lori walked past Bobby and his friends, including Tad, Roger, and Joey, she noticed them trying to reassure a sulking Bobby that the pictures of Lori and Leni kissing Marcus in bikinis really didn't mean anything, to no avail. When Lori heard Tad tell Bobby, "Dude, it's Marcus Quick!", Lori sighed before continuing to walk to her friends' table. When Lori saw Whitney, Melissa, Teri, Zoe, Veronica, and Penny, she smiled before greeting them, "What up doe!"

Lori's friends responded in kind, high-fiving Lori as she took her seat amongst them and started to eat her lunch. As Lori ate her lunch, she noticed her friends all giving her shark-like grins. Whitney and Melissa's grins seemed more tense than those of the others, but Lori paid it no mind.

Teri began, "So… Marcus Quick, huh?"

Lori blushed and did a spit-take at the mention of Marcus, causing the rest of the table to erupt in knowing laughter.

Zoe, a blonde-haired pale-skinned girl with pink lipstick, a reddish-pink jacket over a hot pink pineapple dress, and white slippers, commented, "You and Leni? Damn… you girls wilder than I thought." She then slapped Lori on the back before jesting, "You girls alright… you girls alright."

A blushing Lori fanned herself while stammering, "Sh-shut up, OK! It was one night… and he was just so hot."

The rest of Lori's friends snickered before Veronica, a black-haired white girl with a baby blue dress and white shoes, asked, "But what about your Bobby Boo-Boo Bear? What are you going to do about him?"

Lori bluntly answered, "I don't know… probably break up with him. I mean, girls, Bobby's sweet, but come on… an NFL superstar? Who am I to pass on that? Plus, his dick game was literally A1."

Lori's friends did spit-takes at Lori's answer before Penny, a curly-haired black girl with round black glasses, freckles and red lipstick asked Lori, "Umm… you do know you're underage, right? And you do know how much chicken Marcus is getting, right?"

Lori chuckled, "Yeah… my sister literally can't stop talking about him."

Penny continued as she massaged her pink turtleneck dress in thought, "I'm just saying… half a bil ain't bad. Go get some of that hush money, girl. You've earned it, periodt."

Lori pointed out, "Come on… you know my fam. You really think they're gonna let me keep that money? You remember that one time my whole family scrapped over a literal quarter. Imagine $250 million."

Lori's friends shuddered, with Whitney muttering, "Ugh… don't remind me!"

Lori replied, "Literally," before Melissa interrupted, "Uh… moving on. How did your fam even get to meet Marcus in the first place?"

As Lori regaled her story of how she and her family met Marcus Quick to her friends, a few tables away, a similar conversation was going on between Leni and her friends. However, the conversation between Leni and her friends was more one of concern than celebration.

Dana patted Leni on the shoulder and explained to her, "Leni… you realize what you did was really dangerous. Not just for you, but for him."

Leni gasped before panicking, "Dangerous? How dangerous? Marcus and I were safe."

Jennifer Rosato, a cute white girl with light brown braided hair and a red bow, questioned, "Did Marcus use a condom?"

Leni asked, "Uh… what's a condom? He just put his big sticky inside my pee-hole." She then sighed dreamily, "It was totes amazing."

Many of the girls traded dumbfounded glances before Mandee Fournier asked Leni, "Well, did you at least use… you know… Plan B?"

Leni asked, "You mean those round white pills my mom told me to use when I 'met the right one'?"

Mandee nodded before Leni gasped, "O-M-Gosh! I totes forgot to take my white pill today!"

The entire table facepalmed, to which Leni asked, "What?"

Jackie Nguyên shook her head before telling Leni, "Girl… you're playing with fire here. I mean, I know it's Marcus Quick, and who wouldn't want him. The dude's a hunk."

Many of the girls sighed dreamily before Jackie continued, "You're gonna need a pregnancy test, girl. I'll take you to the drugstore and get you one yourself."

Leni panicked, "Wait, pregnancy? I'm not ready to be a mommy!"

Angie Johnson, a white girl with a short brown ponytail, gold double-triangle dangle earings, a green turtleneck sweater, and purple jeans, interrupted Leni, "You should have thought of that before you and your sister took Marcus to town. But it doesn't matter… we're here now. If you can find the white pill at home, take it." She then sighed to herself, "I've just got to make sure you're taking the right one."

Leni replied, "Thanks," before pulling her friends into a hug as she cheered, "You girls are totes the best friends ever!"

Dana chuckled, "We know… we know."

Leni then pulled out her phone and yelled, "SELFIE!", as her friends leaned in to be part of the picture. Leni then posted her "cute" group selfie to Instapic, getting hundreds of likes within minutes.

(Scene Change: Tetherby Manor, 12:55 PM)

After crying for just under an hour and hugging herself to try to soothe herself, Lisa texted the Loud family groupchat: "Mother, Father: please pick everyone up and drive them to the Tetherby Mansion. IMMEDIATELY. I found the pets."

When Lynn Sr. received the text at work, he smiled before texting Lisa, "omw".

Lynn Sr. then proceeded to tell his boss, a portly white man with glasses named Jared, "Sorry, I gotta go. Now. Family emergency."

Jared nodded, "Alright", before waving Lynn Sr. goodbye, which Lynn Sr. returned.

As Lynn Sr. walked to his van, he met up with Rita, who had also walked out of her dental office next door. Together, they coordinated their plan to pick everybody up: high schoolers first, Lynn Jr. second, and Lily and the elementary schoolers last. While Lynn Sr. was driving, Rita called the schools to confirm every Loud kids' absence for the rest of the day.

(Time Skip: 2:15 PM, Tetherby Manor)

As the Louds followed Lisa to the pets' presumed location, they called, "Here, boy", and "Come out!"

Lana impatiently asked, "Ugh… where are they, Lise?!"

Lisa sighed, "Keep walking," before her phone's GPS app started beeping like crazy. When the Louds noticed the beeping, they immediately noticed a big hole right in front of them. When they saw it, Lisa instructed them, "Surround the hole." When the Louds surrounded the hole, Lisa advised them, "Take a good look inside."

When the Louds looked inside the hole, they gasped in horror and heartbreak before freezing. All of their beloved pets laid lifeless on the muddy ground in grisly condition. Even to the untrained eye, it appeared as if these pets had suffered horribly before they died.

Lisa, meanwhile, blankly counted down to herself, "3… 2…. 1."

As soon as Lisa said, "1", Lana rushed over to the remains of Hops and tried to feel it for a pulse. She felt nothing but the cold, dead body of a frog she once loved. Every time Lana closely looked at one of the pets she loved, more tears pooled in her eyes. By the time Lana saw the conditions of Charles, Cliff, Geo, and Walt, her eyes were overflowing with tears.

Lana's nose began to drip mucus at a rapid rate, her hat fell off her head, and she lost the ability to speak as she dropped to her knees and let out the loudest, most anguished cry ever produced by any Loud family member.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Lana cried so loudly that she could be heard the next street over, which was crazy because this street was full of some of the largest manors in all of Michigan. Lana immediately fell flat on her face and banged her fists on the ground like she was a 2-year-old throwing a temper tantrum. However, this tantrum was not one that was attention-seeking: this was a tantrum of genuine grief.

The rest of the teary-eyed Loud family also yelled and screamed in anguish as tears poured down their faces. They tried to hold each other for comfort, but that did very little for them. Even Lucy, the stoic one of the group, sounded like the 8-year-old girl she truly was as she shrilly cried into Lynn Jr.'s arms.

Lynn Sr. was much like Lana, looking like a 2-year-old throwing a loud temper tantrum. He jumped into Rita's arms and wailed until his throat was sore and he was practically out of breath. Every time Lynn Sr. caught his breath and cleaned his nose, more memories of helping Lana look after her pets came to Lynn Sr.'s mind, triggering even more crying.

Rita, whose shirt had become a mess of Lynn Sr.'s snot, was also crying hysterically. Her makeup was running, her hair was frazzled, and she was just as much of a mess as her husband as she let out loud wails of agony and despair into her husband's arms. She wanted to comfort her kids in this time of crisis, but was too overwhelmed by her own emotions to do so.

Lori and Leni cried tears of sorrow into each other's torsos. It ruined their makeup and their clothes, but they didn't care in the wake of their enormous losses.

Luna cried louder than she had ever sang before in her life. The combination of grief, horror, anger, and disgust that she felt at the situation, as well as her love for the pets, combined to create a sound of agony that, for all her vocal talents, she couldn't even dream of replicating in a song. She held Luan as they cried into each other's arms and torsos, staining their shirts with makeup, snot, and tears.

Lynn Jr. held Lucy in her arms as she wailed. But Lynn Jr.'s tears were tears of rage more than sadness, as she inwardly fumed at Lord Tetherby and Lincoln for killing the Loud pets.

Lily, who watched her sisters cry but could not understand what was going on, was saddened by seeing her sisters cry. So, she sniffled and began crying as well.

Lola, meanwhile, slumped to the floor and cried her eyes out, letting out similar wails to Lana. However, as the Loud sibling least affected by the pets' deaths and the robbery, she recovered the quickest, and was also the first sibling to notice that Lisa had more to say.

After about 10 minutes, Lola cleared her throat before trying to get her siblings' attention, "Girls."

Unfortunately, Lola's sisters ignored her, as they were still overwhelmed by their own grief. When Lola noticed this, she screamed as loudly as she could, "GIRLS!"

Lola's scream immediately caused the entire Loud family to turn to her with tear-stained, pained expressions on their faces. As Lola surveyed her devastated siblings, she found Lisa blankly standing off to the corner. However, as Lola approached Lisa, she noticed that Lisa, despite her emotionless façade, had moist eyes and an anguished, enraged expression on her face.

When Lola marched over to Lisa, she told her family, "Now… if you would stop your crying… Lisa has something else to say."

Lana sniffled, "W-what e-e-else i-is t-t-there t-to s-say? O-our p-pets a-are, a-a-are…". Lana couldn't finish that sentence before her and every Loud family member except Lola and Lisa broke into another fresh wave of sobs. As the rest of the Louds sobbed, Lola growled before stomping over to Lisa and requesting, "Lisa, your megaphone, if you may."

After Lisa handed her megaphone to Lola, she yelled, "PIPE DOWN, YOU BIG CRYBABIES!"

That immediately shut the rest of the Loud family up, with all of them giving Lola angry glares for her callousness towards their grief. An unfazed Lola faked a sniffle as she continued, "Lisa has something important to say about o-our pets… and you'd BETTER LISTEN! Or else, you know what happens when you make Lola MAD!"

Lana immediately stomped over to Lola and yelled, "Oh no… you are NOT threatening us NOW! NOT ANYMORE! I'M DONE TAKING THIS FROM YOU!"

Lana attempted to punch Lola, but Lola caught Lana's fist in midair, grabbed her twin sister by the shirt, and whispered to her, "You'd better listen to Lisa. She might have some important information on who we need to get for this."

At the mention of "getting" someone for this, Lana immediately shut up and relaxed, causing Lola to relax her grip on Lana's shirt. After Lola let Lana go, she walked to Lisa, who thanked her for calming her family down.

Lola haughtily responded, "You're welcome. Now what were you going to say?"

Lisa cleared her throat before continuing, pushing through the sniffles and moans of her siblings, "A-as I was saying… I ran forensic checks on our pets."

Lana blubbered, "F-f-fo-r-ensic? What does that mean?"

Lisa clarified, "Street name, detective work."

Lynn Jr. sneered, "Oooh… so we're going to find out whodunnit, huh? I bet it was Lincoln. We find the pets here in the Tetherby mansion… I bet he got a limo ride from that jerk & they stole the pets and ran off into the night!"

Many of the Loud siblings cheered, "Yeah!", in agreement and gave death threats to Lincoln, much to the chagrin of the Loud parents.

Leni asked, "Wait… how would you know Linky killed the pets? He'd never hurt a hair on anyone's head!"

Lynn Jr. got in Leni's face and shouted, "Stinkoln's bad luck! Oh-ho-ho… When I get my hands on him… man, he's not going to know pain!"

Lana snapped, "Get in line, sis!", to which many of the sisters roared in agreement.

Lisa started, "Now, if we can get illogical hypotheses out of the way…" before Lori suggested, "I wonder how Lincoln would like literally being burned alive."

Lynn Sr. and Rita yelled through tears, "LORI!"

Lori sniffled, "Sorry... Mommy... Daddy... it's just...", before starting to hysterically cry again, sending the rest of her sisters into another crying fit.

When the Louds stopped crying, Lisa cleared her throat and continued, "As I was saying… I ran fingerprints on the corpses of our pets. Lynn… you might want to come here."

Lynn Jr. marched over to Lisa and growled, "What is it? Did you find our pets' killer so I can waste him?"

Lisa sighed, "Yes I did. The killers of our pets are… Marcus Quick and his co-conspirators."

Lynn Jr. froze in shock as she mouthed an inaudible, "What?"

Lisa showed her family her phone screen as she explained, "Marcus Quick killed Charles himself. Evidence and the pattern of fingerprints on Charles' body suggests that he broke the dog's neck and drowned the dog to death in a large body of water."

The rest of the Loud family gasped in shock, horror, betrayal, and regret before Lynn Jr. snatched Lisa's phone out of her grasp and threw it as far as she could, breaking the phone in half.

Lisa grumbled, "Dang it, Lynn… you broke my phone that would've exposed the other co-conspirators."

The rest of the Loud family gasped once more, with Lana stammering, "O-others? W-what o-others?"

Lisa explained, "My investigation suggests that there was a massive power outage that affected not just the Loud House, but the entire neighborhood of President Valley, from roughly 0030 hours to 0200 hours."

Luan asked, "Wait… you mean 12:30 to 2:00 AM last night?"

Lisa nodded, "Precisely, fourth-eldest sibling unit. Judging by our awakening to my technology, your pranking supplies, and the pets being missing… it is safe to assume that the robbery of our household items, as well as the kidnapping and murder of our pets, took place during those hours, so as to give Marcus and his cronies maximum cover."

Luna stuttered, "W-what does this mean, dudette?"

Lisa said, "Marcus didn't act alone."

Lucy asked, "Who do you think could've cooperated with Marcus?"

Lisa deadpanned, "Well, now that my phone is destroyed and my technology has been stolen, we'll never know now, will we?"

Lynn Jr. muttered to herself, "Marcus Quick. My hero. My idol. And all because…", before silently gasping in realization, "Oh my god." When Lynn Jr. turned to Lori and Leni, she stood up, stomped over to them, pointed at them, and growled, "You…"

Lori and Leni glanced at each other before Lori squeaked, "What?"

Lynn Jr. seethed, "Don't act like you don't know. I heard the noises coming from your room last night. I wasn't born yesterday, you know."

Lori and Leni blushed before looking away from the gasping Louds in embarrassment. The embarrassed looks on Lori and Leni's faces told the rest of the Loud family all they needed to know. Lynn Sr., Rita, Luna, Luan, and even Lucy angrily glared at Lori and Leni, while Lola and Lana seemed a little confused.

Lana asked, "W-what? What noises from her room last night?"

Lynn Jr. reminded the twins, "Remember when we each spent time with Marcus as a pair?"

Lola remembered, "Yeah. What about it?"

Lynn Jr. pointed at Lori and Leni while fuming, "Those 2 bimbos decided to show Marcus just how much they looooooooved him. And when they did, they probably 'convinced' Marcus to steal the pets and our stuff!"

The rest of the Loud family gasped before hardening their glares at Lori and Leni. When Lori and Leni felt the glares of the rest of their family on them, they yelled, "HEY!"

Leni told Lynn Jr., "I don't remember a lot, but I do remember you were the one who brought him into our house!"

Lori also blamed Lynn Jr., "Yeah! Maybe you were the one who literally told Marcus to kill our pets!"

Lynn Jr. started to scoff, "Pfft… as if I'd tell my football idol… my hero… to," when a teary-eyed Lana interrupted her, "You did do it, didn't you, you stupidhead! What… did you also tell Marcus to steal our stuff, too? Stuff doesn't magically disappear, you know! And I bet even now, you still love him!" She then turned to her siblings and growled, "Watch… I bet you girls she's going to wear that stupid Marcus Quick jersey in front of us while doing those stupid dances TOMORROW! MORNING!"

Luan joked, "Wow, Lana, you're willing to put your money where your mutt is! Hahahaha… get it?", which nearly caused Lana to break down in angry tears yet again.

As Lori, Leni, Lynn Jr., Lana, and Luan continued to furiously yell at each other, the rest of the Loud sisters couldn't help but join in. And as the Loud sisters' arguing grew louder, an increasingly frightened Lynn Sr. muttered to Rita, "Honey... I think we should go in the van."

Rita whispered, "Good call", as the two parents snuck away from their enraged children to presumed safety in Vanzilla.

As the Loud sisters argued, Lola screamed over them, "GIRLS, STOP FIGHTING OVER THAT MISSING STUFF!" This caused the rest of the Loud sisters to gasp in shock and turn their angry glares towards Lola.

After stomping towards Lola, Lana growled, "What do you mean by that?"

Lola shrieked, "That stuff did nothing but get on my nerves! It got on all of our nerves!"

The Louds gasped again before clenched their fists in rage at what Lola said. Then, Lana hissed at Lola, "Explain."

Lola started, "First of all… Luan's comedy supplies. She always pranked us with them! Buckets of water on the doorstep, pies in our face, trapping us in gelatin molds, filming our most embarrassing moments… do you know how many dresses of mine that girl ruined? HOW MANY PAGEANTS I LOST BECAUSE OF HER STUNTS? And I think we all remember what that girl does EVERY YEAR on April Fools' Day."

As the rest of the Loud sisters turned their glares to Luan, she quickly raised her hands and defended herself, "Pranks are for the enjoyment of the prankster! You wouldn't know comedy if it hit you over the head with a mallet!"

Lola smugly smirked at Luan before stomping over to Lisa and screaming, "And then there's YOU. You put tracking chips IN OUR BRAINS. You're always causing explosions that ruin my beauty sleep! You're doing these weird and dangerous experiments that mangle me and my sisters! ALWAYS! You collect our poop, insisting it's 'scientific research,' when really, it's to answer your own weird questions!" She then looked at the bodies of the dead Loud pets before yelling at Lisa, "And NONE of your tech STOPPED this from happening! You know… you present yourself as a genius, but really, you're an IDIOT! A STUPID! IDIOT!"

When Lola noticed Lisa clenching her fists and glaring at her, Lola smugly smirked at her before stomping over to Lana and growling, "And then… there's YOU. You bring some weird exotic pet home every week, at least, just because you LOVE it! Oh… a dog, a cat, heck… even a bird, I understand. But what am I supposed to do with a DANG ALLIGATOR in the house? How the heck do you think that makes ME feel? Do you know WHY I insist on my '9 hours of beauty sleep'? Not just because of your sleep-farting, but because YOUR ANIMALS ALWAYS KEEP ME AWAKE BY CHIRPING AND SCREECHING IN THE NIGHT! You know what… it's a good thing those animals are dead. Now, I no longer have to worry about my pageant dresses getting eaten. I can get my beauty sleep and keep this face fresher than ever. And maybe… just maybe… you can learn to act like a civilized human being for once. It's a longshot, but I'm willing to take that chance."

Lana and the rest of the Louds gasped in horror at Lola's speech. A split-second later, Lana's eyes glowed red, the expression on her face turned feral, and she readied herself to pounce Lola. As the rest of her sisters argued amongst themselves, Lola stopped Lana in her tracks by snarling, "And what I said to Lana… goes for you, too, Lucy. And Luna… don't even think of replacing the sounds of Lana's pets with your uber-loud rock music. You know what happens when you make Lola mad."

Right after Lola said that, Lana growled at her before pouncing at Lola on all fours and tackling her. As the twins began to scratch and claw each other's eyes out while letting out primal, ear-piercing screams, a similar fight cloud erupted between the rest of the sisters as they, too, descended into an all-out violent brawl. The sisters punched and kicked each other with ferocious intensity. They bit each other, they gouged each other's eyes out, and Lynn Jr. was even applying her most painful Lucha Libre moves to the rest of her siblings.

An enraged Lisa observed the situation and said to herself, "Normally… I would stoically assess this situation as an Erupting Volcano… but in this case…. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!", before running over and joining in the fight cloud herself.

This Sister Fight Protocol was so intense that the Loud sisters didn't even bother issuing one. They just got straight to the physical confrontation part of the protocol, making so much noise that the next few manors over started to erupt in annoyed complaints.

Meanwhile, next door, at the Quick mansion, Marcus Quick and his buddies were watching the whole thing unfold in front of them. The bikini-clad model surrounding them quickly hugged them in fright and gave them puppy-dog eyes, non-verbally begging their men to protect them. One of Marcus' buddies, a jacked, heavily tattooed black man in a white t-shirt and faded blue jeans named Aaron Henry, pulled out his Colt .45, cocked it, & assured the group watching, "Don't worry… I got this."

Aaron then unlocked the door of the Quick mansion, ran over to the scene of the fight, and began to shoot into the backyard. When the Loud sisters heard the "pop-pop-pop" of gunshots, their fight immediately stopped, and they froze and screamed in terror, immediately running back to Vanzilla.

Lori grabbed Lily as she urged her siblings, "Come on… there's literally a crazed shooter on the loose! Let's literally get out of here!", as she followed the rest of the sisters into Vanzilla. They ran to Vanzilla unharmed, slammed the doors open and rushed into their seats. Once Lynn Sr. made sure everyone was inside Vanzilla, he stepped on the gas and high-tailed it out of Huntington Manor.

The rest of the drive home was silent, as every one of the van's occupants refused to even look at each other. The tension inside the van was unbelievably thick, as without even looking at each other, everyone knew: This isn't over. When we get home… it's Sister Fight Protocol time. And without Lincoln to mess it up… this should be over in a snap.

Little did the Loud family know… today would only be the beginning.

Closing A/N: Ladies and gentlemen… I give you the world's first ever THERMONUCLEAR SISTER FIGHT PROTOCOL! And without Lincoln around… this is going to be fun.

A/N 2: Veronica is the black-haired girl in the light blue dress from "Friendzy", Zoe is Pineapple QT, & Penny is the name of the black girl with glasses we see hanging out with Lori & Leni frequently. And with Dana in the fold… we've got an "LPDZ" connection! Get it?

A/N 3: Jennifer Rosato? Girl Jordan's big sister. Angie Johnson? Mrs. Johnson's daughter. They were both Leni's fashion friends from "Sound of Silence," and they kind of looked like Girl Jordan and Mrs. Johnson respectively, so I decided to put them here.

A/N 4: Thanks for the 5-month anniversary shoutout, qazplm6969!

Anyway, what new era do the fates have in store for the Loud Sisters? And how are our favourite white-haired boy and his friends doing? Stay tuned & find out!